Beloved on this Earth
by Chary
Summary: Snape OFC romance. When Harry is injured and taken to a Muggle hospital, the nurse caring for him feels a strange connection to the injured boy, and certainly doesn't trust the Professor who claims he has come to return him to his school. ...Complete..
1. Dudley's Eggs

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**                                                                                                                   ~ 0 ~**

Harry's return to Privet Drive this year had been more miserable than ever.  He missed Ron, Hermione and Hogwarts desperately and his worry over Voldemort's return, and his guilt at Cedric's death gnawed at him constantly.  The Dursleys were as hateful as always and it was obvious from their attitudes, they were still holding a very large grudge over the Ton-Tongue Toffee incident.  More than anything Harry wished he was living with his godfather Sirius Black.  Not only would this mean an escape from the wretched existence he had here with the Dursleys, but he would also feel a lot safer living with an experienced wizard now that Voldemort was fully back to life and after him once more.

Harry yawned tiredly and glanced over at the luminous dial of his battered alarm clock – three o'clock.   He hadn't had a full night's sleep since his return from Hogwarts and as a consequence he was constantly tired, spending his days peering blearily through his glasses, while his aunt and uncle roared at him to "Pull his finger out!"

A whisper of noise to his right had him glancing up hurriedly, relaxing when he recognised Hedwig swooping gracefully through his half open window.  She flew over to him and nipped his ear affectionately before settling in her cage and drinking delicately from her water bowl.  Harry sighed softly.  No mail again.  Although he had received letters from Ron, and Hermione, before she had set off on a family holiday to Italy, he had only had one letter from Sirius telling him that he had arrived safely at Remus Lupin's.  Sirius had written that it would be better if they didn't contact each other unless absolutely necessary, for fear of his whereabouts being discovered, but he urged Harry not to worry and to enjoy the holidays as much as he could.  Enjoy the holidays?  If Harry had his way he would stay at Hogwarts all year round.  He yawned again and punching his pillow in exasperation settled down in his bed, thankfully managing to fall asleep a few moments later.

He was awoken very early the next morning by Aunt Petunia banging on his bedroom door. 'Harry, get up, I need you to go shopping, I've run out of eggs and Dudley wants them for his breakfast.  Are you awake you lazy boy?  Get up, get up now!'

Groaning, Harry rose reluctantly from his warm bed and dressed in a daze, his vision still blurry with tiredness even with his glasses perched firmly on his nose. 

'Finally,' Aunt Petunia screeched when he arrived in the kitchen five minutes later. 'Here,' she said, ignoring his quiet, 'Good morning,' and thrusting some money into his hands. 'And be quick about it, my poor Dudley's starving,' she announced in the simpering voice she used when speaking about her son.

Harry looked past his aunt to the large frame of his cousin grinning maliciously at him from his seat at the kitchen table.  Although Dudley's diet had apparently continued to some degree during his year at Smeltings, because he was only a little larger than the last time Harry had seen him, he was still huge.  In fact the idea of Dudley starving was ludicrous; left alone on a desert island, Harry was sure Dudley could live off his fat for a good six months before there was any need to even _consider_ panicking.  Harry had grown himself during the past year and was now slightly taller, although no wider than he had been during his last stay at Privet Drive.  Even so, Dudley's hand me down clothes would still at a pinch, have fitted Harry, Ron and Hermione all at once.

'Be back soon,' Harry called as he opened the front door and set off, but neither his aunt nor his cousin bothered to reply. 

Perhaps it was because he was so tired, or perhaps it would have happened anyway, but Harry never noticed the car zooming towards him as he crossed a quiet road on his way home from the shops.  He didn't even have time to glance up the second before the car ploughed into him, but without being aware of what he was doing, the part deep inside of him where magic resided at its strongest recognised the danger and kicked in to save him, if not from the initial impact then from at least hitting the pavement at speed afterwards.  Harry's last thought before he slipped into unconsciousness was _Aunt Petunia will be furious about those eggs_.  

As the ambulance carried Harry away the distraught driver could be heard exclaiming to the police. 'I don't know what happened, I couldn't avoid him, he came out of nowhere, but then the strangest thing happened - he just seemed to _float_ to the ground after I hit him!'  

The onlookers who had arrived on the scene after the accident raised their eyes along with the police officers, who were already preparing to breathalyse the gibbering driver.

***

Harry woke slowly as if from a deep sleep.  Once both eyes had been prised open he realised from the gloom surrounding him that it must be night, but his blurred vision made it impossible to make out any other details clearly.  He reached over to grab his glasses, which were always close by when he slept, only to discover that not only could he not move his right arm, but that the attempt to do so was causing the most astounding pain.  Although well used to pain, he couldn't help the soft groan that escaped him.  Immediately he heard a chair being pushed back and soft footsteps heading towards him.  

'Madam Pomfrey?' he managed to croak out.  The soft lilting voice that answered him however, did not belong to the Hogwarts Matron, but instead to a stranger with kind eyes he noticed as she bent down to peer closely at him.

'Ah, Harry, you're awake at last,' the women said pleased, reaching carefully down to capture his uninjured left arm and feel for his pulse.  As he watched her blurry figure examining a fob watch hanging from her dress, and belatedly noticed the tubes running from his arm to a bag perched high above his bed, Harry realised he was in a Muggle hospital.  No quick wave of the wand to heal these injuries then.  

'How did I get here?' he asked, the pain coursing through his head and body was making him feel very sick, but he had no recollection as to how he had arrived in this place and he needed to know.  Had Voldemort attacked him again?

'Well now, it seems as though you decided that checking for traffic before crossing the road was a waste of time,' the nurse scolded gently.  'What do you remember before you woke up?'

'Erm …  Going to the shops for Aunt Petunia,' Harry was able to recall slowly now the panic over Voldemort's involvement had passed.  'Dudley wanted eggs,' he managed, the effort of speaking draining him of the last of his energy.   

'That will be your cousin then will it,' the nurse asked a distinct coolness entering her voice.  Harry assumed that meant she had met the Dursleys. 'Don't worry about it now; you were hit by a car and had quite a knock to the head, you've been unconscious for two days.  You'll probably experience a little bit of confusion for a while with that, and along with all your bruises and scrapes, you also managed to break your arm and your leg in the process.  Nothing that won't mend though, you're a very lucky boy.  Now I'm going to get the doctor to come and look you over but would you like a drink first?' she asked seeing Harry lick his dry lips painfully.  He tried to nod and groaned again at the agony that caused.  

'Lie still there, Harry,' she said comfortingly pouring some water into a glass and raising a straw to his mouth.  'Just a sip now,' she warned, 'you'll make yourself sick if you drink too much.'  

The water was blissfully cool to his parched mouth and Harry was disappointed when she pulled the straw away.  'I'll be right back,' she promised, but whether she was or not Harry never knew as he slipped almost immediately back into the healing embrace of sleep.  

***

Almost a week later and Harry was still in the hospital.  The accident had left him with a broken right arm and left leg along with a few cracked ribs, which ached miserably.  The bruises however, were already beginning to fade and his entire body by now was a multicoloured mess of half healed cuts and scrapes. But worse than any discomfort he was suffering, was his increasing concern for Hedwig.  He had yet to see his aunt and uncle, although they had apparently brought in some pyjamas and toiletries for him, which the nurse he had met when he first woke up - who he now knew was called Lois – had given to him with a disgusted look on her face.  

'Your aunt and uncle have just dropped these off for you, Harry,' she said in a determinedly jolly voice.  'They said they had to rush off somewhere or they would have stayed.  It's a shame because I think you must have been asleep when they came to visit you the other times,' she said, not quite meeting his eyes.

'It's okay,' Harry said without emotion, 'I know they've never bothered to come and see me.  No need anyway – I'm feeling much better.  When do you think I'll be able to go home?' he asked, not for the first time.  Much as he preferred being almost anywhere than with the Dursleys, he had no way of knowing if Hedwig was all right.  Harry knew she could fend for herself for food and water, but what if the Dursleys had locked her in her cage or were mistreating her?  He couldn't even contact anyone; Hermione was in Italy and Ron's family didn't have a phone.

'Pretty soon I should think,' Lois answered as she turned to walk away.  'You're coming along wonderfully, but you'll have to have a wheelchair to be getting about I'm afraid.  With that broken arm you won't be able to use crutches.'

Harry sighed inwardly, if he couldn't walk that would mean he would be back in the cupboard under the stairs unless he could manage to drag himself up and down the steps to his room unaided; he doubted Uncle Vernon would be offering to carry him anywhere.

'Time to check you over again, Harry,' Lois said returning to his side pushing a small cart.  Harry lifted his good arm and Lois tightened the cuff of the blood pressure monitor around it allowing it to automatically produce a reading, which she jotted on his chart.  'You're still looking a bit flushed,' she said with concern popping the electronic thermometer into his ear, removing it after a moment and holding it up to look at the reading on the side.  'Yes, your temperature is up a little, how are you feeling?'

Now that he gave it some thought, not too well Harry realised.  His temperature had been up and down for the past day or two and he tended to feel a little groggy and sick when it was raised.  'Okay,' he said instead, not wanting to risk delaying his discharge by admitting to feeling unwell. 

'Hmm,' the nurse raised her eyebrows at him plainly doubting the truth of his answer, but not pushing it.  During his stay at the hospital Lois had spent a lot of time chatting with him, obviously feeling sorry for him because of his lack of visitors.  Not that Harry minded – he much preferred Lois's company to the Dursleys any day.  She was funny and kind and she seemed to have a way of making him feel better just by being there.  

She was also very pretty he couldn't help but notice – another reason he enjoyed having her around.  Although she was tiny, not much bigger in fact than a lot of the older children on the ward, her light blue nurses uniform showed off a figure that was happily not at all childlike, and her hair was a soft vanilla colour, which looked like it might be long, but as she always wore it pinned up it was hard to be sure. It was her eyes that Harry liked best of all though, they were huge in her softly rounded face, a bright, gleaming blue with tiny flecks of gold that glowed when she laughed or when she was worried.  In fact, Harry noticed, they were glowing now.  Lois leaned forward over the bed and pressed the back of her hand to his warm forehead.  Her cool touch against his heated skin soothed him, and he felt the vague nausea he had been battling recede, along with the burning warmth in his head. 

'Are you sure I can't get you anything, Harry?' Lois prompted softly, but he shook his head, a wave of exhaustion sweeping over him.

'No thanks,' he managed through a yawn.  'I think I'll sleep for a while.'

'All right then,' Lois replied, helping him scoot further down into the bed and drawing the covers around him.  Harry felt the touch of her hand on his now cool forehead once more, before he fell into a deep sleep.


	2. Lois

Disclaimer:Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Lois sat working quietly on the nightly report, ready for the change over with the morning shift in a couple of hours.The ward was almost completely silent, with only a few snuffles and soft snores from the peacefully sleeping children.Most of the beds were empty tonight as all of the children who were well enoughhad been discharged home in time for the weekend.In fact it had been pretty quiet for a week or so now, and Lois and her colleagues had used the time to complete the tasks that, although not important enough to take precedent over caring for the sick children, still needed to be carried out to ensure the smooth running of a children's ward in a busy London hospital.

Sighing, Lois set down her pen, finished with her paperwork.Her colleague, Tom Wilkes, who was enjoying a coffee in the small ward office they all shared, looked up at her curiously.

'You all right Lois?' 

'Fine, I was just thinking about Harry.I hate the thought of him having to go back to that family.I wish we could keep him in a bit longer,' she admitted with concern.

Tom nodded his agreement.'They're certainly not the most caring of relatives.'

_Indeed not_, Lois thought with disgust.She had been on duty when the Dursleys had eventually turned up at the hospital almost a full day after Harry had first been admitted.She had expected them to be beside themselves with worry for their nephew, but instead they had only seemed annoyed at having to come down to the hospital at all.

Although she hadn't known it at the time, Lois had later discovered that Harry hadn't had so much as a bus pass on him when he was found.The only clue to his identity was the fact that one of the witnesses thought they recognised him as living locally.When no one had come forward to report a missing child hours after his accident had happened, the police had questioned the man again who, when pressed, thought Harry might belong to a family who lived in Privet Drive; a rather large father and son, and a woman with an unusually long neck. 

Once they had been tracked down, Mr and Mrs Dursley had apparently been furious that Harry's accident had resulted in a visit from the police.They had grudgingly explained that they had not been looking for him, as he was supposed to have been staying with a friend.Lois, however, seriously doubted the truth of that story. After huffing and puffing about the difficulties in missing time from his very important work, Mr Dursley had offhandedly identified the unconscious Harry, while Mrs Dursley and their extremely large son, had refused to budge from the office chairs they had occupied since they'd arrived.

'He's fit enough though Lo,' Tom's voice interrupted her reverie.

'Fit enough with a loving family looking after him maybe,' she argued back.

'I know,' Tom consoled, 'but Harry's not a baby; he doesn't need constant watching and apart from anything else, he _wants_ to go home.'

That was the confusing thing for Lois.There was certainly no love lost between Harry and the Dursleys, but he was indeed desperate to go home.Not a doctor was allowed past his bed, without pleas from the young boy to be discharged.

'Anyway,' Tom said changing the subject before she could argue further. 'You never said earlier - what happened to your holiday plans, I thought you were supposed to finish last week?'

Lois cringed inwardly.It was true she had changed her holiday dates at the last minute, but she hadn't admitted to anyone the real reason why - Harry.Lois had always had a tendency to become too attached to her patients, a tendency she had done her level best to curb over the years.While a certain level of empathy with the people under her care, made her a better, more considerate nurse, too much could be damaging emotionally.Every hurt, every failure, every setback her patients suffered became her own, leaving her psychologically drained and lacking the mental resources she needed to deal with her work on a daily basis. 

With no little effort, she had therefore trained herself, for the most, to maintain the necessary professional distance she needed to be able to carry out her work.Occasionally however, despite her every effort, someone slipped under her guard and there was simply nothing she could do to prevent it.Harry had been just such a case. She had felt an immediate connection with the unconscious boy, which had only deepened when he awoke.She had found him to be amazingly self-possessed for one so young, seemingly alone in the world despite the Dursleys and intensely proud, never showing an ounce of self-pity for the predicament he found himself in.

When it became apparent no one would be coming to visit him, Lois had taken to stopping by his bed whenever she had a spare minute to chat.He was generally cheerful and uncomplaining of his lot, although the occasional shadows in his bright green eyes hinted at past sorrows.She assumed it was the loss of his parents at such an early age; Harry had told her they had died when he was a baby and that he had lived with his aunt and uncle ever since.Lois had been shocked to learn he had lived with the Dursleys for so long - how could anyone care for a child from a baby and still have no obvious emotional attachment for them?Still, Harry had seemingly done a pretty good job of raising himself, because to her surprise, he was a very pleasant and polite child, even after having only the Dursleys for role models.

Despite her growing attachment, Lois had done her best to think of him no more than any of the other youngsters in her care - until last week that was.The night before her holiday was due to start, she had been sitting in the office when the sound of muffled moaning had her heading out into the darkened ward.

The noise had been coming from Harry's bed, but stopped before she reached him.She had watched him cautiously for a while, lying still and unnaturally stiff under the white hospital sheets due to the awkward casts restricting his movement.She had just been about to turn away, when he began groaning again, his thin shoulders twitching anxiously obviously deep in some nightmare, which had worsened quickly.Within seconds his hoarse cries had her bending over him, shaking him gently awake.Harry had struggled furiously against her to sit up, only to be forced back onto the bed with a moan of pain as he jarred his plaster-covered limbs.

Pushing her slight surprise at his extreme reaction aside, Lois had murmured to him soothingly, stroking his messy hair from his forehead until he had calmed sufficiently to shake off the clinging remnants of his nightmare.

'Do you want to talk about it Harry?' she questioned gently when he was fully awake at last.When he didn't answer and only shook his head roughly no, she had begun talking to him instead, murmuring quietly so not to wake the others, telling him stories about her mishaps while training, and anything else she could think of to distract him from dreams.At first he had remained tense, his eyes haunted and his thin body still trembling slightly, but as she continued to talk, he slowly relaxed and she was pleased when she managed to coax a smile or two out of him.

Once he was finally asleep, Lois didn't immediately leave but sat with him a while longer wanting to make sure he wouldn't wake again.Sitting on a chair beside his bed, she was able to observe him undisturbed; he was small for his age, with narrow shoulders, hunched and tense even in sleep.His black hair was more untidy than normal and now that it wasn't flopping over his forehead, the small, lightening shaped scar was exposed that he had confided was a souvenir of the accident that had robbed him of his parents.He looked vulnerable and lost, lying pale and still in the darkness, and she couldn't prevent a quiver of concern over what would happen to him while she was away. 

Although she knew any one of the nursing staff would be just as ready as she to comfort him if he was woken again by nightmares, would they stay and talk nonsense to him till he went back to sleep?Would they make time to sit and chat with him, so he wouldn't feel so unwanted when the ward was filled with familiesvisiting the other children, bringing sweets and laughter and presents from home?

As that painful image took hold, she had known suddenly that she couldn't bear to leave him here alone and abandoned by his relatives.With barely a moments hesitation, and ignoring the loud warning voice telling her not to get involved, she had postponed her holiday and would continue to do so until he went home.

'Lois?'Tom prompted, dragging her attention back to his question and away from her thoughts.

'Oh the friend I was going away with had an emergency crop up at work,' she lied, sure the truth would lead to a well-meaning lecture on the importance of not getting _too involved_.'Hopefully we'll be able to go next week instead.'Luckily one of their colleagues joined them at that moment and the subject was dropped.

***

Two worry-filled days later and after much pleading with the doctor, Harry was declared well enough to go home.After even more pleading he was sure on the hospital'spart, the Dursleys had been persuaded to come and collect him that afternoon.Harry had insisted in being ready in his wheelchair with his few belonging by his side, a full hour before the Dursleys were due to arrive.He knew his uncle would be impatient to leave and he was just as eager to see Hedwig.

'Are you sure you're ready for this Harry?' Lois pressed, packing up the game of draughts she had been playing with him in the hopes he knew, of keeping his mind off the upcoming ordeal.

'I'll be fine,' he said in what he hoped was a confident voice.In truth he _was_ worried about coping on his own at home, but he was even more worried about Hedwig.He desperately wished suddenly that he had a real parent-like figure in his life.Sirius, despite his best intentions, simply wasn't able to be with him, and for all the care and protection Hogwarts and Professor Dumbledore provided, they were still after all just a school, and a Headmaster who had hundreds of other children to worry about.

Lois watched the changing expressions on the young boy's face with sorrow.Harry tried his best to be brave, but occasionally his guard fell and he was exposed for what he was - a scared boy who had no one to turn to.Lois knew there were plenty of others who were worse off than him, but at that particular moment it was of very little comfort.

'If you need anything Harry, or you just want to talk, you can always ring me here or if I'm not on duty at home,' she said handing him a piece of paper with direct numbers to both the ward and - completely against hospital policy - her home.She felt a tightness in her throat as Harry looked at her with undisguised amazement and pleasure, obviously shocked at the offer.What sort of a life had this poor child led that such a simple act of kindness left him so surprised? 

'Thanks Lois,' he said quietly.Lois nodded, unable to speak and instead set about dealing the cards she had placed on his bed for a game of gin rummy.

Their attention was drawn away from the game a short while later by the arrival of visitors for a young girl at the end of the ward.Lois and Harry watched as a small boy escaped his mother's hand and ran excitedly towards his obviously adored big sister'sbed.He was already clambering up next to her and throwing his chubby arms around her neck, before his mother could intercede to pull him giggling into her arms.

'Do you have any brothers or sisters Lois?' Harry asked wistfully.

'No, I was an only child.I always wanted one though.'

'Me too,' Harry sighed.

'What about your cousin Harry?' Lois gently probed. 'You seem to be about the same age, do the two of you not get on well?'

'No.Dudley hates me, not that I'm that keen on him.Actually, he hasn't really spoken to me since…'

'Since what?'

'Oh nothing.It's just that we both go to separate boarding schools and I suppose Dudley gets a bit snooty because he goes to Smeltings – my uncle Vernon's old school.'

'Where do you go to school?' Lois asked surprised; it was unusual to meet children who attended boarding school nowadays, although she could imagine that the Dursleys would be eager to have Harry live away from home for most of the year.

'Erm… you probably wouldn't have heard of it, it's in Scotland.'

'That a long way to go to school!'

'I know, but I love it,' Harry said, enthusiasm shining in his voice.'My mum and dad went there too - they put my name down for it when I was only a baby.'

Lois was very glad Harry had something in his life other than the dreadful Dursleys.'Do you have many friends there?'

'Well my best friends are Ron and Hermione, but apart from one of the Houses, everyone is pretty nice.'

'It sounds like you enjoy school - that's unusual, especially for boys in my experience,' she grinned. 'What's your favourite subject?'

'Well, I like Qui… er – sports the best.I'm in my House's… rugby team.'

'Are you any good?' Lois asked startled; he certainly didn't have the type of physique she would normally associate with a rugby player.

'I've been told I am,' Harry answered modestly enough, but was unable to hide a glint of pride when he added.'I was the youngest person in over a hundred years to be picked to play on the House team.'

'Wow, I'm impressed,' Lois scrunched up her nose.'I don't know much about rugby though except it looks pretty rough.'

'It is!'Harry said with feeling, obviously remembering some past injury. 'But it really is the best game in the world.What about you, do you like sports?'

'No,' Lois smiled, 'I'm too clumsy by far; I was always the last to get picked for a team at school.Not that I minded; it would have suited me if I hadn't been picked at all,' she laughed suddenly. 'No wonder really, I had a horrible games teacher who used to make my life a misery.Miss Robson,' she said with deep dislike.'She knew I was no good at anything and she used to delight in showing me up in front of the rest of the class.During a gym lesson one day she discovered I was frightened of climbing the rope – so she insisted on using me as an example on the correct way to do it.I got about half way up and I just froze, I was absolutely petrified.'

'What happened?'

'She started yelling up at me from the bottom."Get a move on Lois!"' she mimicked the gruff P.E. teacher's voice. '"Don't hang there like a jelly you stupid girl, move your legs!"What made it worse though, was that the gym was full and everyone was watching me, including Simon Kendrick, who I had a _huge_ crush on, so I shut my eyes and carried on climbing.The next thing I knew there I was hanging from the top of the rope!I was so proud of myself.Of course, I was slightly less proud when I realised there was no way I could get back down again.'

'Too scared?' Harry sympathised, a half smile on his lips.

'Uh huh.'

'So what did you do?'

'Well I hung on for as long as I could naturally, but eventually gravity and Miss Robson's screeching wore me down and I fell off.Landed right on top of her,' she remembered with a wicked grin.

Harry laughed. 'Were you okay?'

'Fine, not a bruise on me.Mind you, she _was_ quite a big woman, better than a crash mat I reckon,' Lois chuckled.'She was off sick for three weeks.'

'Did she leave you alone after that?'

'Are you kidding?I think the only pleasure that mean old crow had in life, was tormenting the uncoordinated.Didn't make me climb the rope again though,' she shrugged; as far as Lois was concerned almost every cloud had a silver lining.

'Some people shouldn't be allowed to be teachers,' Harry said darkly, his eyebrows lowered in a fierce scowl. 

'You'll get no arguments from me,' Lois agreed, shuffling the deck of cards to deal again.

***

Mr and Mrs Dursley finally swept into the hospital to collect Harry an hour after their promised arrival time, looking extremely unhappy to see him.Neither of them showed the slightest concern at his battered appearance and Mr Dursley rudely brushed off Lois's final instructions on Harry's care and follow-up appointments at the hospital.When she mentioned that all being well, his casts would be removed in six week'stime Mr Dursley butted in sharply. 

'The boy will be long gone back to boarding school by then, they can take care of that,' he snapped.'And if he still needs check-ups why is he being sent home? Shouldn't you just keep him here until he's well enough to be up and about?'

'If I had my way Mr Dursley,' Lois said coldly, 'Harry would stay with us until his injuries are completely healed.However, Harry for some strange reason, is keen to go home and as he is fit enough to do so the hospital can certainly make good use of his bed.'

Mr Dursley gave a disgusted snort and muttered something about 'the fine state the NHS was in' before grabbing Harry's chair and wheeling him roughly toward the exit.

As they left Harry managed to turn awkwardly and call out his thanks to a pale and angry Lois, who looked worryingly as though she was going to cry. 


	3. Snape's Arrival

Disclaimer:Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

The trip home from the hospital was carried out in frosty silence, until Harry could keep quiet no longer.'Is Hedwig okay?'

'How would we know how your dratted owl is?'Uncle Vernon snapped. 'It's your animal to take care of, not ours.'

'I just wondered if you'd left my window open while I've been gone,' Harry said quietly.

'No one's been in your room,' Aunt Petunia squawked horrified.'Heaven only knows what we'd find there!' she said, shuddering slightly, as though Harry's room contained a doorway to hell.

Harry relaxed a little at the news; as long as Hedwig had been able to get in and out of his room, she would have been able to find plenty of mice to eat and water to drink.Still, he would feel better once he had seen her for himself. 

Things were looking up slightly when they arrived back at Privet Drive; Harry's fear of being put back in the cupboard did not come to pass.Instead Uncle Vernon's downstairs study had been begrudgingly turned into a temporary bedroom of sorts.It seemed as though the threat of Sirius still hung in the air with the Dursleys and they were obviously not about to risk a visit from Harry's enraged godfather, who also happened to be wanted throughout the wizarding world for murder.

After navigating the entrance to the house – with rather more jostling bumps than Harry felt were strictly necessary – Uncle Vernon wheeled him sharply into his new bedroom.

'Thanks,' Harry felt obliged to say and was rewarded with a grunt as his uncle turned straight around and left the room, closing the door firmly behind him.

Once Harry had manoeuvred himself clumsily towards the centre of the study, he had a chance to look around.His aunt and uncle's reluctance to enter his bedroom unfortunately meant none of his belongings had been transferred downstairs.He saw also that a small camp bed had been brought in for him to use, which was rusty and non-too sturdy looking._I'll have to be careful getting in and out of that,_ he thought, picturing himself trapped on the floor under the mangled wreckage of torn canvas and jagged metal, while the Dursleys circled, laughing cruelly.

Still, all in all, better than he had expected, but certainly not ideal.No belongings meant no Hedwig, and without his school books, he wouldn't be able to do the homework he had been assigned during the holidays, although how he was going to manage that left handed was another problem he had no answer to.Harry edged forward in his wheelchair, testing his weight against the low bed and thinking longingly about how much easier it would all be if underage magic was allowed outside of Hogwarts – a quick summoning spell and all his possessions could be with him in an instant.He pushed the thought aside; he had already been lucky on the two previous occasions the Ministry had found out about magic being performed at Privet Drive and he wasn't about to risk it a third time.In any case, his wand was upstairs with the rest of his stuff so it was pointless even thinking about it.

Harry sighed deeply and eased back into the wheelchair.He was really beginning to feel the effects of the early morning and journey home.What he really wanted to do was climb into a nice soft bed and go back to sleep.Unfortunately the bed was most definitely not going to be comfortable and it was also _not_ going to be easy getting into it either.Anyway, he had no intention of sleeping until he had seen Hedwig and planned on somehow getting upstairs tonight, once the Dursleys were safely in bed and unable to mock his struggles, or even prevent him from trying.

The next few hours passed slowly and his only interruption was when Aunt Petunia called him to dinner.Harry ate his evening meal awkwardly with his left hand, while Dudley smirked maliciously at him.He was incredibly tired by now and was having great difficulty keeping his eyes open.Not only that, he was already missing the hustle and bustle of the hospital ward and most especially all the mothering and attention Lois had given him.He couldn't help but think that the rest of the holidays were going to be very grim indeed in comparison.

Despite his glum mood, he must have dozed off in his wheelchair as soon as he reached his room, because he woke with a start some hours later, shivering in the cold night air.Squinting at his watch he was relieved to see it was almost one o'clock in the morning; the Dursleys would surely be asleep by now, meaning he could head upstairs undisturbed.

Opening the study door carefully, Harry wheeled himself silently to the bottom of the stairs and weighed up his options.After some deliberation, he realised the only way this was going to work, was for him to actually sit on the stairs and make his way up them backwards.Decision finally made, Harry manoeuvred himself out of the wheelchair and with much quiet huffing and puffing, began his ascent.By the fourth stair up he was sweating alarmingly and his left arm and right leg were shaking with the effort involved.With the grim determination that had got him through more than one of Wood's endless Quidditch training sessions, he ignored the pain coursing through him, and continued working his way slowly upwards.The worrying thought briefly occurred to him that once he reached the top, he doubted he'd have the energy to get back down again.He pushed the unpleasant image of waking his aunt and uncle to ask for help aside and concentrated on the staircase once more.

Finally, and taking far longer than he had thought it would, he was there.After resting for a minute to catch his breath, he shuffled his way across the landing towards his bedroom.From his sitting position on the floor outside his door, Harry watched horrified, as the door handle his fingers had been inches from reaching was suddenly wrenched open from the inside, and a large robed figure appeared from within, towering ominously above him.

'Potter,' came a very familiar and very unwelcome voice through gloom, 'what do you think you are doing?'

'Professor Snape?'Harry gasped shocked, his mind frozen at this unlikely appearance.'What are you doing in my room?' he asked stupidly.

'The more relevant question Mr Potter, is why are you _not_ in your room,' Snape answered coldly.With an impatient flick of his wand he muttered, '_Lumos_' and a soft glow lit the darkened hallway.'What on earth…?' he said loudly on seeing Harry's battered appearance for the first time, and then everything happened at once.Dudley's door creaked open and he peered sleepily out into the hallway, only to be met by the horrifying spectacle of a grim-faced Snape, glowing wand held aloft, looming over an apparently collapsed Harry.Dudley's terrified screech and slamming of his bedroom doorbrought Vernon Dursley shooting from his own room, hurriedly tying a robe around his large waist and brandishing what appeared to be one of Aunt Petunia's high-heeled shoes.

'You!' he shouted furiously spotting Harry, and completely missing Snape's dark figure in his rage. 'What have you been doing now!' 

'That is precisely what I would like to know,' said Snape, his voice quiet, but ominous. The effect on Uncle Vernon was immediate.He froze in position, the shoe still held threateningly in front of him like a weapon, while his face drained of colour and his whole body trembled.

'What has happened to the boy?' Snape asked in what Harry recognized to be his most intimidating voice, although why he would care enough to even ask, was a mystery to him.Perhaps Snape objected to the possibility of anyone but him inflicting harm on Harry, or at the very least at missing out on seeing it happen.

Harry turned his attention back to Uncle Vernon and realised that Snape's cold voice and unwavering stare, had somehow had a more terrifying effect on his uncle than even Hagrid had managed when he had given Dudley a tail.His uncle opened his mouth apparently intending to give the angry wizard an answer, but instead only managed a small mewling noise, like a frightened kitten. 

'What was that Dursley?' Snape asked again, moving menacingly towards Uncle Vernon, who shrank back with a soft whimper.

'Ccc..car,' Uncle Vernon stuttered.

'Speak up you half-witted Muggle,' Snape hissed still glaring at the terrified man in front of him.

'Car.Harry.He was hit by a car,' Uncle Vernon finally managed.

'And you didn't see fit to inform Professor Dumbledore of this?' Snape asked dangerously.

'Nnn… no.The letter... the letter said I should tell him about anything unusual.The accident was due to the boy's own stupidity, nothing unusual about that!'Uncle Vernon finished more strongly, back now as he was on the more familiar territory of insulting Harry.

'The letter, Dursley, made it very clear that Professor Dumbledore wanted to hear about any problems Potter ran into.I would say _this _could be considered a problem,' Snape said, indicating Harry's slumped figure on the floor with a flick of his hand. 'Easy enough to identify and act upon, one would think, yet you still failed to accomplish the single basic task you had been entrusted with.'

'I'm not sending up bloody smoke signals in my back garden because Harry hasn't got enough sense to look left and right when he crosses the road!What would the neighbours think!'Uncle Vernon cried, incensed at the idea of being even peripherally involved in anything as sordid as magic.

'I believe you were sent a piece of charmed notepaper that you simply had to write on and then set fire to in order to pass any information on to the Headmaster, hardly smoke signals.'

Correctly realising the danger in Snape's seemingly quiet tone, Uncle Vernon backed down swiftly. 'No, no of course not, I... I just didn't think this warranted worrying the fellow.My mistake of course, I see that now,' he muttered ingratiatingly.

'Be that as it may,' Snape snapped.'Why is Mr Potter to be found out of bed, crawling on the ground, with two broken limbs at half past one in the morning, Dursley.Hardly the type of activity any half-way decent guardian would allow to happen surely?'

'I don't know what he's doing here,' Uncle Vernon rushed to say.'I haven't seen the boy since after dinner - he went straight to bed in the room we made up for him downstairs.Heaven only knows what he gets up to when we're asleep,' he continued suddenly looking extremely worried by that thought.

'You mean you haven't seen Mr Potter, since you assisted him with his preparations for bed?'

'Well, no,' Uncle Vernon said cautiously, sensing a trap.'He's not a child after all.Perfectly capable of getting himself off to bed by himself I'm sure.'

'And I am equally sure,' Snape said in an icy voice, 'that even a worm like _you_ must realise that would be nigh on impossible given his current condition.'He turned suddenly from Mr Dursley's panicking agreement and fixed Harry with an evil stare.'Well Potter perhaps you can enlighten me, why are you roaming the halls in the middle of the night?'

'Erm well, you see, I just got discharged from hospital today,' Harry said and watched as Snape's mouth tightened further if that was possible.'And I've been worried about Hedwig while I was away, so I wanted to come up and see if she was okay.'

'I see,' was Snape's only comment.

Harry was beginning to ache uncomfortably from his long trek up the stairs and his awkward position on the floor, which Snape seemed to realise at the same moment as he did.

'I suppose as you have made it this far Mr Potter, you may as well finish the journey,' he said pushing open Harry's door fully to reveal Hedwig perched inside her cage.When she saw Harry she swooped across the room down onto his shoulder and nipped his ear affectionately.Uncle Vernon made a horrified sound and backed away from the large owl hurriedly.'Well Dursley,' Snape barked turning back towards the large man again.'As you so far appear to have been no help whatsoever to your nephew, I am extremely doubtful that you are about to astound us all at this late stage.You may go back to bed, I will deal with this.'

Uncle Vernon looked torn between ordering this bullying stranger out of his home, or disappearing to the safety of his bedroom.He chose the latter and seconds later his muffled voice could be heard answering Aunt Petunia's panicked questions.

Snape looked over at an ashen faced Harry, who had by now dragged himself over to lean heavily against the doorframe of his bedroom, absently stroking Hedwig who had settled on his lap.

'Where are you planning to sleep tonight Mr Potter?' he asked sarcastically, his left eyebrow raised in haughty enquiry.'Is this room suitable, or will you be crawling around the house until you find something more to your liking?'

'No, this is fine,' Harry replied, too tired to even be annoyed at Snape's constant mockery.

'Very well.'

With a few muttered words Harry felt himself floating off the ground and over on to his bed.'You never said,' Harry mumbled, already half asleep.'What _are_ you doing here?And what letter did Professor Dumbledore send to Uncle Vernon?'

'It will wait till morning Potter,' Snape said impatiently and with another quiet spell, Harry's shoes and glasses had been removed and the bed covers drawn over him.

'All right.' Harry managed through a yawn and was asleep practically before the words had left his mouth, missing the almost concerned look Snape spared his pale face and heavy eyes a sight, which to Harry, would have been the most surprising thing that had happened all evening.


	4. Winking Dolphins and Floating Wheelchair...

Disclaimer:Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Harry woke the next morning feeling slightly better, although still not completely rested - he had been jerked awake from yet another nightmare about Voldemort only an hour or so after he had fallen asleep.Luckily, he had been so weary that despite his terror he had quickly managed to drift quickly back off, this time thankfully into a dreamless sleep till morning.

Stretching lightly, he relaxed back down into the deep mattress, still basking in the contentment of a comfortable bed and a foggy mind untroubled by thought.With the slow return of consciousness however, came the unpleasant recollection of last night's events and his feeling of general well-being took a nosedive.Snape had been here, in his house!And worse even than that, Uncle Vernon was sure to blame Harry for Snape's appearance.He groaned and pulled his pillow over his head, wondering if anyone would object if he just stayed here until it was time to return to Hogwarts.

With a heavy sigh, Harry pulled himself awkwardly upright, ready to begin the struggle back down the stairs to face the unavoidable confrontation with his aunt and uncle.He was very pleased to discover as he sat up that his wheelchair was placed next to the bed and a change of clothes was also within easy reach.Harry wondered who had performed this kindness; neither the Dursleys nor Snape were likely to voluntarily help him in anyway, so their appearance was something of a mystery.It was a mystery that was soon solved however, when the wheelchair rose gently off the ground and manoeuvred itself closer to him as he edged out of the bed – Snape then, how odd.

Even odder was the spectacle that awaited Harry in the bathroom.The Dursleys' house was very comfortable, but by no means a mansion.As a consequence the upstairs bathroom was not overly large, but plenty big enough as a rule, unless of course you happened to be confined to a wheelchair with only one useable hand.Harry had therefore been prepared for a struggle as he wheeled himself down the hall, with the chair thankfully doing most of the work.

As he leaned forward to grasp the bathroom door handle, he heard a groaning, cracking noise coming from within.His hand dropped immediately to his lap and he cocked his ear, holding his breath as he listened attentively for the sound again.After a full minute had passed in silence, he warily pushed the door open and sat stunned by what he saw.The once compact pale blue bathroom had been transformed overnight into a lavish suite fit for a king.The remodelled bathroom was now huge, with white marble gleaming from every surface and large gold taps in the shape of diving dolphins that winked merrily at him.Instantly wary, because it could only be Snape who had made these changes, Harry rolled himself slowly into the room.

Once inside, the door immediately swung smoothly shut behind him and he jerked round, startled, to grab at the handle, which turned easily under his touch.Hastily retreating to the hallway once more, Harry paused, staring in through the open doorway consideringly.With Snape involved, there was every chance that he was about to be met by some unpleasant surprise in the magically altered room.On the other hand, he realised uncomfortably, he actually needed to use the bathroom quite desperately by now.He considered briefly trying to make it to the downstairs toilet, but he wasn't sure yet how the wheelchair would cope with the stairs and anyway, Snape might have done something to that room too.With a determined nod he moved forward again, this time not flinching at the sound of the door closing behind him.After some extremely cautious investigation, he was very pleased, and very relieved to discover that not only was the bathroom not booby-trapped, but better still, it was now magically equipped to make using the facilities, even in his state, a breeze.

Most pressing need taken care of, he wheeled himself over to the washbasin and grinned as it obligingly lowered itself down the wall towards him with another groaning noise.His reflection stared back at him from the mirror over the sink as he began brushing his teeth.

'Dear me, you have been in the wars haven't you?' the mirror commiserated on seeing his bruised appearance.

Harry gave a half shrug, unable to answer thanks to a very enthusiastic toothbrush that was not only doing all the work itself, but also muttering darkly about the number of fillings he would soon need if he didn't cut back on the Chocolate Frogs.

Teeth clean, Harry sat in the shower with the water magically avoiding his plaster-covered limbs, in an enormous cubical that was large enough for him, the wheelchair, and another twenty people besides.Once he had finished, he wheeled himself over to what appeared to be a Muggle hand dryer of gigantic proportions; sitting under its delicious warmth, both he and the wheelchair were dry in seconds.He dressed in the clothes he had found in his room, which buttoned and zipped themselves into place and rolled himself out of the bathroom.Closing the door cheerfully behind him, Harry froze suddenly as a horrible thought struck him.Would the bathroom stay that way if the Dursleys entered?Most people of course would be delighted to own an enchanted bathroom such as this one, but Harry knew the Dursleys would simply be beside themselves with rage.In truth, they were more likely to seal the room off altogether rather than accept anything magical into their _normal_ existence.Harry opened the door again and peered cautiously in to find the room in the process of reforming to its usual size.

'Sorry,' the mirror said apologetically on spotting him. 'I thought you were finished.'

'I have, I have,' he rushed to say as the room began to stretch itself again.

'Well do make your mind up,' the mirror tutted, annoyed.Biting back a smile, Harry carefully closed the bathroom door and headed downstairs.

To his great relief, negotiating the stairs was much easier this morning than it had been last night; the wheelchair simply hovered above them and floated gently down to the hallway.Once he had safely reached the bottom, he paused again,fully expecting the Dursleys to descend upon him enraged, and instead found only utter silence.He wheeled himself, or rather his wheelchair wheeled him, into the kitchen,where he discovered the reason for the quiet.A large note was propped on the table written in angry red ink.

'HARRY,' it read.

'We are going to visit Aunt Marge for a few days.

When we arrive home on Wednesday,

make sure we find NOTHING out of the ordinary.'

Harry blinked down at the note,surprised that the Dursleys would allow him to remain alone in the house.It seemed the fear of running into Snape again, was greater than their fear of anything Harry could do to their home while they were away.Feeling much happier now that not only Snape seemed to have disappeared, but also that he didn't have to face an angry Uncle Vernon, he rolled over to the fridge to find something for breakfast.Sadly, the fridge was woefully bare, and it appeared on further investigation that the Dursleys had taken almost the entire contents of the kitchen with them on their trip.Unperturbed, for he was used to much worse, he made himself some toast from stale bread and drank a cup of tea with milk that didn't smell quite right. 

Feeling full, Harry urged the wheelchair back up the stairs and set about writing a note for Ron.Unfortunately, that little task was far easier said than done.He was having great difficulty using his left hand and the quill was leaving inky blobs all over the parchment.Twenty frustrating minutes later he finally gave up; no one would be able to read it, and he might panic Ron if Hedwig arrived with a scrawled letter.He awkwardly packed his quill and ink away and was just deciding whether it was worth trying out one of Dudley's computer games single-handed, when Snape materialised in front of him.

Harry let out a shocked yell at the suddenness of his appearance and instinctively urged his wheelchair away from Snape's tall presence.

'Ah,finally up I see,' Snape said with disgust.'I don't know how you even managed to sleep through the caterwauling your family were making this morning.'

'You spoke to them again today?' Harry asked with dread.The more time Snape had spent in the company of the Dursleys, the more trouble he would be in when they returned.

'Thankfully I was spared that ordeal,' Snape replied mockingly.'They were in the process of dragging large boxes out of the house when I arrived, and I decided against making my presence known to wave them on their way.'

Harry heaved a sigh or relief, which he quickly changed to a cough at Snape's sharp look.'Er, that's probably for the best,' he finally mumbled.'Actually Professor I've been wondering why you were here - is there a problem or something?' 

'Where exactly have the Dursleys gone,Potter?'Snape demanded suddenly, ignoring Harry's question.

'Oh, to visit Uncle Vernon's sister for a few days,' Harry answered, filled once again with a feeling of blessed freedom at their absence.

'What!' Snape bellowed.'Are you telling me boy that that dim-witted family of yours have left you in this house alone?'

'Well yes, but I don't mind,' he added hurriedly, as Snape's already angry face darkened alarmingly. 

'I'm quite sure you don't,Potter,' Snape snarled, 'but that is not the issue.Dumbledore has taken an enormous amount of time and trouble to ensure you are protected while not at Hogwarts.Not only that, my own and the other professors' valuable time has been not inconsiderably squandered in assisting him in his preparations, all so that _your_ safety is not compromised.'He slammed his fist against his thigh and paced the length of the bedroom, his cloak swirling behind him.'We took care of absolutely every possibility and the only thing those stupid Muggles had to do was make sure one of them spent at least two hours within the house every day, hardly difficult,' he seethed seeming to have forgotten Harry was still in the room.'The instructions were quite specific and simple enough even for them.Now all that effort has been wasted!'Snape stopped pacing abruptly and fixed Harry with an arctic glare.'Very well,' he said obviously reaching a decision.'I suppose there is no alternative - you will have to return to Hogwarts until this situation is resolved.'

Harry looked dazedly at Snape.'Hogwarts, but why?'

'Because Potter, in just under twenty-four hours all the charms and protection spells placed on you and this house will no longer be active now that your loving family have left and apparently have no immediate intention to return.'

'I'm protected?' Harry asked, confused, glancing down at the casts on his arm and leg.

'From magical harm only.No one imagined even you would be idiotic enough to go wandering into traffic,' Snape saidsarcastically.

'Oh,' Harry managed.

'Yes, Oh,' Snape mocked.'Well get your things together and be quick about it,' he barked when Harry didn't immediately move.

'Wait a minute,' Harry said slowly.'My aunt and uncle weren't planning on going anywhere until today, so why did you come last night?' he asked suspiciously.Both he and the house would be still be covered by the charms if Snape hadn't frightened the Dursleys into flight this morning.

'Because boy, when I arrived back at Hogwarts late yesterday afternoon I discovered that you had not been in your family's house for some time.'

'You can tell where I am?' Harry asked, vaguely horrified at this notion.

Snape's face tightened, obviously furious that Harry had dared to question him.'No,' he finally bit out. 'But Dumbledore can.As both he and Professor McGonagall were also away on business, he was unaware of your absence until I returned back and checked.I eventually managed to contact Dumbledore and while he was positive that you were not in danger, we were still unable to track down your actual location.The positioning spell the Headmaster set up only works when you are within this house.'

Harry suddenly felt desperately guilty for all the extra work he had caused Dumbledore, especially considering how busy he knew the old wizard would be with Voldemort's return - another problem he was inadvertently responsible for.He pushed the guilty feelings aside and focussed instead on Snape once more. 

'As it was thought unwise to antagonise your relatives until we were sure there was a serious problem, Dumbledore asked me to Apparate here while your family were sleeping to see if I could find out any information; an exercise, which as you may recall, did not go as covertly as I had intended,' Snape said coldly.'As the Headmaster is currently in the process of finalising some rather… _delicate_ negotiations, he suggested that I return this morning and carry out a few modifications to make the house useable for you.That way, you could remain safely here until Dumbledore could arrange for Madam Pomfrey to heal your injuries and the rest of us could get back to our own work.However, thanks to your idiot relative's actions, that is plainly no longer possible and is the reason why you will be returning to Hogwarts.Satisfied Potter?' he snarled.

'I suppose so,' Harry answered cautiously, not sure that even escaping the Dursleys was worth having to endure Snape's company.'How will we get to Hogwarts though?'

'Leave that to me,' Snape said impatiently and Disapparated with a _pop_. __

Harry used the time he was gone to frantically gather his school supplies together.He was sat swearing softly over a nasty paper cut, obtained when he had rashly tried to cram his copy of _The Monster Book of Monsters_ into his trunk single-handed, when Snape reappeared at his elbow.

'Right, I've managed to set up a Portkey which will be leaving in…' he said, checking a pocket watch,'ten minutes, so get your belongings together and come downstairs.'

Harry opened Hedwig's cage and told her to meet him at Hogwarts; he doubted whether she would enjoy a journey by Portkey any more than he did.He pulled her empty cage onto his lap, while Snape grudgingly levitated his heavy trunk and followed him down the stairs.Just as they reached the downstairs hallway, the doorbell began to buzz loudly.

'What was that?'Snape demanded, drawing his wand and looking sharply around the deserted hall.

'Just the front door,' Harry said quickly, unsure who it could be; the Dursleys rarely had visitors, especially during the summer holidays,for fear that they might bump into Harry.'Shall I see who it is?' 

'No,' Snape said putting his wand back in his sleeve. 'We will be gone in another…. eight minutes,' he said checking his watch again, 'and I'm sure they will leave soon enough when no one responds to their summons.'

Harry nodded,happy to comply; he had no desire to talk to any of the Dursley's friends or acquaintances anyway.The unknown caller however, was more persistent than they had given them credit for.Within moments the buzzer was sounding again, this time without stopping.Harry watched as Snape's expression grew blacker and blacker, until finally he stormed forward, yanking the door open with a furious jerk.Harry was suddenly very glad he wasn't whoever it was on the other side of that door.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N** Oooh I had no idea how much I would love getting reviews! – thanks so much. To the people who asked, this is definitely a Lois/Snape fic.


	5. All Aboard

Disclaimer:Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Lois peered at her hastily scribbled directions before turning down a street which she hoped would lead into Privet Drive, still not sure even this close to her destination whether she was doing the right thing. Her father had always warned her that her soft heart would be her downfall, she remembered fondly, and this afternoon he was very likely to be proved right.Logically she knew it was madness to get so attached to a patient, but by the time she had realised what had happened, it was far too late to do anything about it.

It was her overactive sense of responsibility and concern for Harry's welfare that had forced this visit.Unfortunately, while she had grave doubts about the home he was being sent back to, there was no evidence of any cruelty.She had absolutely no right or reason to go barging into their house to check up on his living conditions, and if the hospital found out what she was doing she would be in serious trouble.Nevertheless, even given all that, Lois knew herself well enough to realise that there was simply no other way to put her mind at rest.

Her one comforting thought, and the only reason she had a hope in hell of pulling this off, was the fact that the Dursleys struck her as the type of people who put an awful lot of stock in appearances.If she could convince them that they were under scrutiny from the "Authorities," she was sure they would see to it that Harry was adequately cared for until he returned to school.The tricky part was going to be phrasing her words vaguely enough, without actually lying, to make it appear as though she was acting in some sort of an official capacity, while at the same time not making it so vague that she looked like an insane stalker of young boys. 

Although Lois was genuinely concerned for Harry, her valid, but unsubstantiated misgivings about the care he was receiving was not the sole reason for her visit.Nor was it the reason she was in such a hurry.After all, Harry _had_ only been discharged from hospital yesterday and it would have made more sense, and been more believable to have left it a day or two before putting in an appearance.However, something had happened last night to cause all her cautious and carefully made plans to fly out the window.

After a long relaxing soak in the bath to recover from the stressful day, she had headed straight to bed,falling asleep within minutes. Unfortunately, her peaceful slumber had soon been disturbed by disjointed, nightmare images of graveyards, dead bodies and a feeling of pervading evil that had culminated in an image of Harry's terrified face as an explosion of noise and blinding green light had shook the ground.She had woken, heart racing and gasping for breath, still hearing the horrific sound of evil, high-pitched laughter echoing in her ears. 

Once she had calmed sufficiently to think clearly once more, her decision had already been made; she would visit the Dursleys first thing tomorrow morning and worry about any consequences of her actions later.While she didn't believe in omens or premonitions, her dream was obviously caused by her subconscious guilt at leaving Harry to fend for himself.If she wanted to avoid another nightmare like that one, which she most definitely did, she would need to do something sooner rather than later to at least try and help him. 

Sitting huddled in the darkness, her heartbeat slowly returning to normal, Lois promised herself that once she had seen Harry and made sure he was okay, she would push her guilty conscience aside and concentrate instead on enjoying her well-earned break. She refused to answer though, the small mocking voice that asked what she was planning to do if Harry _wasn't_ okay.

Internal debate over,she glanced up to see she had arrived at her destination.Squaring her shoulders with determination, Lois fixed a friendly smile on her face and rang the bell of number four, Privet Drive.Immediately on doing so, she heard a loud conversation coming not far from the front door itself.When the voices quietened and she still heard no movement towards her, she rang the bell again, this time leaving her finger on the buzzer.

Thirty seconds later the door was yanked open without warning and she stood frozen, staring bemusedly at the figure that appeared.He was much taller than Mr Dursley, and it took a moment for her surprised eyes to move up the necessary level to see his face clearly.She took in black, shoulder length hair and a face that was dominated by a large nose and pitch black eyes with not a speck of warmth in them.He was wearing such an angry scowl that she automatically stepped backwards, the action finally removing her finger from the bell and stopping the annoying buzzing sound.

From her new vantage point Lois was able to see the man more fully; he was slim and dressed from head to toe in black - incredibly in the form of long flowing robes and a cloak.Lois took another hurried step back from his intimidating presence when he barked impatiently, 'Well, what do you want?' as she continued to stare up at him lost for words.

His angry voice and furious expression immediately had her brain urging her to run and not return.Just as she was about to obey her minds frantic command, she spied Harry sitting in his wheelchair, peering curiously around the stranger's tall figure.

'Harry!' she said in relief, moving towards the door again.

'Lois!' he exclaimed in obvious surprise, his face lighting up with pleasure as he wheeled himself closer to the door.

'We have no time for this,Potter,' the dark-haired strangerinterjected rudely, completely ignoring Lois. 'You will have to tell your little _friend_ that you will speak to her later,' he finished disdainfully.

'I am not his _friend,_' Lois replied, stung by his scornful condescension; she had never claimed to be overburdened in the height department and knew her small size often caused people to think her younger than she was, but at twenty-five, she certainly couldn't be mistaken for a fifteen year old!'Harry is my patient and I've come to see how he's getting along now that he's home.' _Please don't let this get back to the hospital,_ she prayed silently as she was fixed with an icy glare from above.

'It's okay Professor Snape, Lois was my nurse when I was in hospital,' Harry butted in, seeming embarrassed by the other man'sattitude.

_ _

_A Professor?_Lois wondered,disbelievingly._He doesn't look like any Professor I've ever seen and where are the Dursleys during all this?_Lois looked again at the robed man and was struck by unpleasant thoughts of cults and kidnapping.Before she could give herself time to change her mind, she stepped smartly around his tall figure and over to where Harry sat.

'Are you okay Harry, have your family popped out?' she asked as casually as she could.

The dark man made an impatient sound and swung around to grasp her by the shoulder, steering her forcibly towards the still open doorway.Before he knew what had happened however, Lois had twisted in his arms and was again standing protectively by Harry's side.Although she was completely unaware of it, to the man staring across at her, her attempts to appear cool and authoritative in a dark tailored dress with her hair ruthlessly confined to a tight knot at her nape, were cruelly thwarted by the fact that she looked like a tiny, enraged lioness defending a cub almost as large as she.

'Who exactly are you?' Lois demanded, seeing his assessing stare and no longer trying to be pleasant.

'That is none of your concern,' Snape growled, while Harry answered hurriedly, 'Lois, this is Professor Snape - a teacher from my boarding school. He's come to take me back there for the holidays because my family have been called away.'

Lois turned an assessing gaze on the young boy who seemed to be having trouble meeting her eyes and was shuffling awkwardly on his chair.'I really think I need to speak to your aunt and uncle, Harry,' she said slowly, carefully judging the reactions of the two males.She had no intention of leaving this house until she was fully satisfied Harry was in no danger and right now she was not at all certain of that fact.This, _Professor,_ looked more like a dangerous criminal than any teacher she had ever met, and he had done nothing to alter that opinion since she had arrived.

Certain she was in the right, she stood steadfast and unmoving by Harry's side, waiting for Snape to make the next move.It took him only seconds to process his options and she watched, impressed, as he forced all traces of anger and impatience to fade from his face and donned instead an expression of benign forbearance, which sat awkwardly on his harsh features.

'Madam,' Snape began and Lois realised that despite his unpleasant demeanour, he had the most beautiful voice, silky and strangely compelling.Beneath the smooth perfection of it however, she was conscious of a thread of thinly veiled impatience.'While your obvious concern is admirable, I assure you Mr Potter is in perfectly safe hands.His situation was brought to the attention of his Headmaster, who has graciously offered that he be cared for within the school until term time begins, with his guardians' full consent of course.As a matter of fact we are just now on our way and really must be going.'This last statement was said with more emphasis as he glanced hurriedly at a silver pocket watch.

Despite his reassurances, Lois was definitely not convinced; whatever the travel arrangements, new ones could be made.Until she had spoken to the Dursleys, she had no intention of letting this man take him anywhere.'I'm afraid Professor, I really must insist that I speak to Mr and Mrs Dursley before I can allow Harry to go with you.'

Snape gave a warning growl, glancing quickly at his pocket watch again.Apparently reaching a decision, he stepped purposely into the kitchen, returning seconds later, bizarrely, with a spatula held in hand.'Right, Potter,' he snapped.'I have no more patience for this, do you have all your belongings ready?' 

'Yes Professor, but what about…?' Harry threw a worried glance in Lois's direction.

'I will deal with it later,' Snape said sparing a brief nod towards Lois, who stood, her cheeks flushing red in anger at his obvious dismissal.

'I'm really sorry Lois,' Harry murmured apologetically, hauling an empty cage onto his lap while Snape dragged a large trunk forward, which he held in his free hand.'But honestly don't worry - everything's fine.'

The insane possibility of brainwashing was slowly beginning to occur to Lois and she reached angrily over to snatch away the spatula both Snape and Harry were now holding, with no real idea of why.The second her hand touched the cold metal she felt a sharp tug in her stomach and her feet were lifted from the ground with a jolt.Despite the rushing wind and bright colours surrounding her, Lois was still aware of Harry and Snape's presence by her side as they zoomed to goodness knows where.With a sudden lurch, it was over as quickly as it began, and Lois felt her feet thud back to the floor with such force she toppled forward.Her head slammed with an alarming crack onto solid ground and no sooner had the world begun to come clear again, than everything faded to black. 

***

Snape scowled down with irritation at the tiny woman collapsed on the ground next to him.Her pale hair had come loose during the journey, and now lay in a riotous tumble around her still form, seeming to crackle with energy.Why was nothing ever simple when it involved Potter?The wretched child had the most amazing ability to attract trouble, he thought furiously shooting an angry glare over at the oblivious boy, who by now, was almost falling out of the damn wheelchair in his attempts to see if the annoying female was all right.

With an angry sigh, Snape conjured a stretcher and bent down to lift the unconscious woman from the floor.She seemed to weigh next to nothing and for a moment he was filled with a strange sense of warmth and contentment while holding her.The unfamiliar feelings disturbed him so much, he dropped her hurriedly down onto the stretcher with less care than he should have shown and was rewarded with a small groan._Serves her right_, he thought with vicious satisfaction, damned foolish Muggle interfering in wizarding matters.He couldn't have explained though, even to himself, why his hands reached out to gently straighten her right arm which was folded awkwardly beneath her.

'Is she okay?' he heard Potter's worried voice interrupting his troubled thoughts. 

'I'm sure she will be fine, however at this point it is easier to leave her in her present state until I have a way of returning her to her home.'

'Where are we?'Harry asked looking around the wooded area they had arrived in.

'Just outside the Apparating barrier for Hogwarts,' Snape answered curtly.'Right,' he said, pulling out his wand and muttering, '_Mobiliarmarium._'Harry's trunk rose obligingly into the air and waited patiently by the side of his chair.'Let's get to the school, Potter; Dumbledore can sort out the Muggle, hopefully while she is still unconscious, and I can _finally_ get on with my own work,' he snarled pushing Harry forward with a jerk to set him on his way.

***

The strange trio made their way across the grass and over a small hill, at which point the castle loomed into sight.Harry gave a sigh of pleasure and urged the wheelchair to greater speeds; with any luck once he was safely inside Hogwarts, he wouldn't have to see Snape again until the new term started and hopefully Madam Pomfrey could heal his aching limbs in seconds.

Just at that moment Lois gave a loud groan and Harry looked quickly over at Snape who didn't seem to have noticed; his face was still screwed tight with anger and his attention was fixed dead ahead.When Harry saw Lois's hands begin to twitch, he stopped his wheelchair and pulled on the cloth of the stretcher to bring it to a halt too.

He liked Lois a lot and he was guiltily aware she had been hurt trying to protect him, unnecessarily for once, from Snape.At times like these he wasn't sure whether magic was a blessing or a curse.On the one hand, the fact that Lois's injuries could be healed with the wave of a wand was an enormous relief, on the other, with the wave of that same wand, all the memories she had of Harry could be gone in an instant.He knew that Oblivating all trace of this incident would be the first thing Dumbledore would do, but Harry desperately hoped he could talk him out of it – Lois had told him he could stay in touch and telephone her at any time and he had fully intended taking her up on that offer.During the short time he had known her, Lois had shown him more kindness and consideration than his so-called family ever had.He knew that she must have nursed thousands of children, but he was pretty sure her affection for him had been more than the normal warmth she would show any patient, and he certainly didn't want to lose her friendship because she'd been forced to forget they'd ever met.

Anyway, would it really be _so_ bad if she found out witches and wizards existed?She wasn't like most Muggles and he was almost positive she could be trusted not to go blabbing it to everyone, nor did he think she would want a magical solution to all her problems as Hagrid had once warned.In any event, the fact that magic was real obviously wasn't a complete secret; plenty of witches and wizards, himself including, were raised in Muggle families.Even the Muggle Prime Minister knew all about them, because he had been informed when Sirius had escaped from Azkaban.

His frantic attempts to come up with reasons to convince Dumbledore not to Oblivate Lois, came to an abrupt halt when Snape realised that they were no longer behind him and swung round, an evil look in his eyes. 

'Potter, what the hell do you think you're playing at!'Harry gestured to Lois and Snape let out a hiss of annoyance. 'Damn woman is a nuisance even when unconscious,' he muttered,striding back towards them.

Lois chose that moment to pull herself up with a jerk and glance fearfully around.'Where am I?' she asked in a hoarse voice, bringing a hand up to her head with a wince.

'Please, Miss…?'Snape began.

'Scott,' Lois answered automatically.'Good lord,is that a castle?' she asked in befuddled awe.

Harry stared at Snape,astounded.How could she see Hogwarts? It was supposed to be invisible to Muggle eyes. 'Professor how can she...?' he began, but before he could finish the sentence, Lois groaned again.

'Oh my head really hurts,' she muttered flopping back down and slipping into unconsciousness once more.

Both Snape and Harry watched her warily until it became apparent she wouldn't be getting up again any time soon.

'I don't understand,' Harry tried again. 'How can she see Hogwarts?Oh,' he murmured gripped by a sudden and very pleasant thought, 'do you think she's a witch?' he said, forgetting momentarily that he would normally rather cut out his tongue than use it to ask Snape a question.

'No, no not possible,' Snape answered distractedly.'If she were she would at least recognise Hogwarts, even if she didn't attend the school herself, nor for that matter would she have been so shocked by my appearance earlier,' he said indicating his robes. 

Harry very much doubted that the robes could be blamed for the shock Snape's appearance caused people, but he thought it best not to mention that.

'Wait a minute,' Snape said abruptly, drawing his wand and running it a number of times over Lois's body while muttering a spell Harry couldn't make out. 'No, nothing,' he declared finally, returning his wand to his sleeve.

'What was that, Professor?' Harry risked when Snape offered no explanation.

'If she had used a wand at any time a residue of magic would have remained resulting in a glow when I waved my wand over her.The more recent the spell the brighter the colour,' Snape replied tersely. 'Even if she had not used a wand in years there would still have been a faint, but noticeable, trace of it left behind.She is clearly not a witch.' 

'Well then how can she see Hogwarts?'

'I don't know,' Snape said, still looking not a little troubled.'Maybe the blow to the head…?'He was talking more to himself by this point and Harry wisely did not interrupt.

Obviously displeased by the lack of answers, Snape urged them forward again with an impatient gesture, the swift pace he set meaning they reached the castle in minutes.He guided the stretcher into the Great Hall and muttered another spell over Lois.She seemed to relax deeper into the fabric at once and Snape straightened away, shooting an icy glare at Harry as he did so.

'I'm going to speak to the Headmaster,Potter,' he said looking at his pocket watch.'Hopefully he will have returned by now.You stay here and don't move; she shouldn't wake, but I don't want her left alone,' he warned.

Harry nodded to show he understood and watched as Snape strode out of the Hall, his cloak billowing dramatically behind him.


	6. There's no Place Like Hogwarts

Disclaimer:Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Harry waited in the Great Hall as Snape had instructed for what seemed like ages.Lois remained silent and unmoving and in between checking her breathing, Harry paced, or rather rolled, anxiously.After another twenty minutes had passed he decided he was going to go and look for Dumbledore himself; perhaps Snape had been unable to find him because if he had what could be taking him so long?In any event, if he _was_ with the Headmaster, Snape was sure to have found some way of blaming all of this on him.Harry wanted to get his side of the story in while he had the chance and maybe, he thought hopefully, try to somehow convince Dumbledore not to remove Lois's memories at the same time. 

Decision made, Harry headed towards the Headmasters office realising belatedly that he had no idea what the password was now.After working his way through all the wizarding sweets he knew, he started on Muggle confectionary and finally hit the jackpot with 'Liquorice Allsorts'.The gargoyle swung open and Harry made his way to Dumbledore's office, very relieved when his familiar voice called, 'Come in Harry,' at his knock. 

Unfortunately Snape obviously _had_ located Dumbledore, because the two of them were seated together in the Headmaster'soffice, a tea tray piled high with biscuits and sandwiches on the table in front of them.

'Potter, how on earth did you get in here?'Snape demanded, his black eyes glinting furiously.

'Oh, Harry has a positive knack for guessing my passwords,' Dumbledore smiled benignly.'How are you feeling?' he asked, scrutinising Harry closely.

'Fine thank you.I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, Professor,' Harry continued awkwardly, avoiding Snape's glowering look.

'Of course you're not interrupting.In fact Harry I'm tremendously pleased to see you; you've had us all in quite a tizzy since we discovered you missing yesterday.'

'I have?'Harry asked,surprised; Snape had given the impression that Dumbledore was sure Harry was at least safe, wherever he had disappeared to.

'Indeed yes, I blame myself,' the Headmaster said heavily. 'My main concern was ensuring that the Dursleys spent the specified number of hours within their home.Unfortunately, I was so focussed on magical threat I didn't pay enough attention to the day-to-day obstacles you could run into.That is why this,' he said indicating a small photograph on his desk, 'only sent out a warning if _they_ were absent from Privet Drive for more than a day.'

Harry looked closer at the object Dumbledore had pointed to.It was a wizard photo of the outside of his aunt and uncle's house, the trees and grass on view blowing gently in a soft breeze.The left hand side of the picture frame was slightly larger than the right to hold three, small, golden egg timers placed there.At the moment they were all just under three quarters full and the sand within them was beginning to give off a pinkish glow.Harry supposed this was because the Dursleys had been out of the house for a while now.Seeing Harry's interest, Professor Dumbledore waved his wand over the picture and the three egg timers instantly changed into one slightly larger egg timer, which had a crack in the glass in the shape of a small streak of lightening.

'That one's mine then?' Harry asked.

'Yes.It is not on permanent display as I was sure you would be quite safe as long as your aunt and uncle did as I had asked, and a warning signal would alert me if they did not.And, of course, I had given your uncle the enchanted notepaper to let me know if any other problems arose that we had not accounted for.As I had heard nothing from him I assumed all was well.Incorrectly of course, as I now realise.If Severus hadn't returned and checked for your whereabouts when he so luckily did, we may never have known you were injured.'

Harry privately thought that the only reason Snape had been checking up on him was in the hope that he would be able to get him into trouble in some way.Still, being at Hogwarts was far preferable to staying with the Dursleys so he wasn't about to complain.

'What I don't understand though is how the Dursleys _could_ protect me,' Harry said, voicing the question that had been puzzling him ever since Snape had told him the Dursleys presence was necessary for his continued safety.A family more doggedly Muggle would be hard to find in Harry's opinion.

'They may not be wizards, Harry,' Dumbledore said with a smile, 'but your relatives intolerance for anything they consider even slightly out of the ordinary, along with their refusal to accept the possibility of a magical world parallel to their own, is a very strong deterrent all by itself.'

'It is?'

'Oh my yes.Of course that alone couldn't possibly hope to repel any wizard and especially not one as powerful as Voldemort, but it certainly bolsters the protection spells we placed on you and their house.The charms and wards we used also needed an anchor, and the strongest link to both you and the house was the Dursleys.Like it or not Harry, both your aunt and cousin share a blood tie with you and your uncle is joined by his own blood tie with Dudley.' 

'I get it,' Harry murmured,understanding now.If the Dursleys had been told all of this in the letter Dumbledore had sent them, they obviously hadn't cared about the danger they were placing him in when they cleared off to see Aunt Marge, he realised without surprise.

'Now,' Dumbledore said purposefully, 'I understand from Professor Snape that we have another more pressing problem at the moment.'

_Lois!_Harry suddenly remembered, guilt swamping him.He had just opened his mouth to explain what had happened when Professor McGonagall came into the room looking, for her, unusually unkempt – her robes were dusty along the sleeves and hem, while small strands of hair were escaping from her normally tight bun.

'Hello Professor,' Harry greeted her, careful to hide his surprise at her appearance.

'Hello Mr Potter, how are you feeling?' she asked kindly, examining him closely and nodding once when Harry replied truthfully, 'Okay.'

'Well Albus,' Professor McGonagall said,turning away from Harry to address the Headmaster directly. 'As you asked, I have trawled through all of the relevant past school acceptance lists and there is no trace of a Lois Scott being invited to attend Hogwarts.'

'Professor McGonagall has been looking for our guests name in the archives,' Professor Dumbledore explained at Harry's questioning look.'As we do not know her actual age, we have searched the ten year period around which she would have most likely turned eleven, based on Professor Snape's estimation.'

'Do you think she could be a witch then?' Harry asked the Headmaster hopefully. 

'I'm afraid not Harry,' Dumbledore said regretfully.'As you know Professor Snape has already checked whether Miss Scott has any trace of magic on her, but in the absence of any obvious explanation, it seemed wise to double-check.'

'But there must be hundreds of names between those years – maybe Professor McGonagall missed her.Couldn't we just look for the people who didn't attend Hogwarts?'Harry asked, grimacing when he caught the immediate tightening of her lips at his words.

'Firstly, Mr Potter,' Professor McGonagall said in an offended tone, 'the only records we have are the lists of people who were deemed eligible to attend the school, irrespective of whether they did or not.Secondly, even if there were a record of people who were invited but did not attend, it would not be a small one – during You-Know-Who's reign, a number of parents turned down places at Hogwarts and sent their children to other magical schools, believing they would be safer outside of Britain.Thirdly, and most importantly, once I had found the correct parchments I used a magical tracker to search the archives for her name, so you see, I cannot possibly have _missed_ her.'

'But her name could have changed,' Harry said, not wanting to give up so easily. 'Perhaps she's married!'

'I had thought of that Mr Potter,' Professor McGonagall said in a chilly voice.'While there were two Scott's listed during her possible time here…'

'Maybe one of them is…' Harry interrupted.

'A Randolph and an Edward,' Professor McGonagall continued as if he had not spoken. 'There was most definitely no one by the name of Lois, Scott or otherwise,' she finished firmly.

'Oh,' Harry said, disappointed.

'I suppose,' said Snape slowly, 'it is possible that if she were born somewhere other than Britain, her acceptance could have been for another school entirely.'

'Do you have reason to believe she may be a witch after all,Severus?'Dumbledore asked, looking closely at Snape.

'I merely think it best Headmaster to fully investigate all possibilities. After all, if she is not a witch and if, as you say, the blow to the head cannot have caused her ability to see the castle, the only other explanation is that there are weaknesses in the defences surrounding Hogwarts.'

'Hmm yes.' Dumbledore said, his twinkling eyes momentarily dimmed. 'I think it's time Harry, that I met your Miss Scott,' he said with a quick, bright smile. 'I presume you will want to accompany us?' he asked affably.

'Actually Albus, I think I'll leave you to speak with Miss Scott alone if I may,' Professor McGonagall said. 'There's no need to confuse her further.'

'Agreed,' Dumbledore replied.

'In that case I will also excuse myself,' Snape interjected softly.

'Nonsense Severus; I'm sure Miss Scott will be pleased to see another familiar face when she awakes.' 

Harry couldn't prevent the small snigger that escaped him at the thought of anyone, _ever_,being pleased to see Snape, but silenced instantly at the cold glare the Potions master levelled on him. 

Leaving Professor McGonagall pouring herself a cup of tea, the three of them headed back to the Great Hall to find Lois sleeping peacefully as Harry had left her.Dumbledore waved his wand over her still form and the stretcher rose slowly into the air and followed the Headmaster from the room.Harry and Snape trailed behind as Dumbledore guided Lois's floating form on a short walk to a small door that Harry had never noticed before.The Headmaster unlocked it with a tiny silver key and they all stepped inside what appeared to be a small and very ordinary bedroom. 

'I thought it best we keep any strangeness to a minimum,' Dumbledore explained lowering the stretcher to the bed, which vanished immediately, before raising his wand again and murmuring, '_Ennervate._'

***

Lois blinked slowly, her eyes gradually sliding open as she stared blearily around her, immediately struggling to sit up when the wooziness passed._Where was she?_ She wondered in panic, before noticing the three people surrounding her.Harry, she recognised gratefully, twisting her throbbing head cautiously to take in the tall, dark form of Professor Snape, and an elderly fellow she didn't recognise who was also dressed in robes like Snape.The white-haired man,she saw on closer inspection,had the most amazingly long beard and the kindest, wisest, most mischievous blue eyes she had ever seen.Simply looking at him filled her with a strange feeling of safety and peace.

'Where... where am I?' she finally managed to ask.

'You are within Hogwarts School,' the bearded man answered calmly.

'But, how did I get here?I... I was visiting Harry,' she recalled with difficulty through the throbbing of her head. 'And you,' she finally remembered pointing an accusing finger at Snape, 'were trying to kidnap him!'

'I was doing no such thing!'Snape snarled.A sharp look from Dumbledore banked his rage and he said in a quieter tone, 'I was merely escorting Mr Potter back to school.As you will recall,' he said as though talking to a child, 'you insisted on accompanying us to ensure he would be adequately cared for.We had just arrived here when you tripped and hit your head while walking up the stone steps to the school.'

'I did?'Lois said doubtfully.She really couldn't remember much past confronting the unfriendly stranger at Harry's house and something to do with a _spatula?_However, Snape's dark velvety voice was sinfully seductive, the hypnotising command in it making her want to believe his version of events almost without question.

'I'm afraid so,' the white-haired man replied.'Please let me introduce myself – I am Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts,' he said holding out a firm hand for her to shake.'I hope you will accept our hospitality for the night; it's the very least we can do considering it was while protecting one of our students that you were injured,' he said, turning back to Professor Snape to say, 'Severus, perhaps you could see to getting something for Miss Scott to take for her headache?'

'There's no need, really, I don't want to put you to any bother.' Lois insisted weakly, but her voice lacked conviction.She really felt most unwell and barely noticed when Professor Snape slid silently out of the door, closing it quietly behind him.

'It's no trouble at all, my dear,' Dumbledore assured.

'I think you should stay Lois,' Harry piped up. 'You look dreadful,' he said truthfully.

While her sluggish brain was still frantically trying to process all the information she had been presented with, Lois suddenly found herself staring into a small glass containing a clear liquid that the newly returned Professor Snape was holding out for her.'I don't think…' Lois began before the Headmaster interrupted.

'It's just a simple painkiller Miss Scott, it really will do you no harm.'Looking up at him, Lois was struck again by his kind gaze and knew instinctively that she could trust him with her life.

'Okay, well thanks,' she said raising the glass to her lips.She drank the medicine in one gulp, surprised to find that unlike most liquid painkillers, it had no taste at all.Her eyelids drooped almost immediately and she relaxed back onto the soft pillows, while Harry reached across to draw the downy quilt over her.

'Just before we leave you to your rest Miss Scott,' she heard Dumbledore murmur, as she began to drift into sleep, 'is there anyone you need us to inform of your whereabouts?'

'No,' she said simply.

'You have no family locally then?' he asked.'Please do not worry if they are abroad, we could easily contact them for you.' 

'No,all my family's in England, or at least,they were,' she mumbled.

'You were born here then?'The Headmaster asked oddly - just as though they were two strangers indulging in meaningless chitchat at a cocktail party, Lois thought,vaguely amused.

'Yep, born and raised,' she managed drowsily before her fluttering eyes fell closed. 

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Dumbledore raised his hand to quiet him and shepherded both Harry and Snape from the room, locking it silently behind him.

'Well that's it then,' Snape intoned.

'The other Professors will be back soon,' Dumbledore said heavily.'Until then, the three of us here will have to begin checking the wards and spells protecting Hogwarts immediately – there is obviously a break somewhere.Hopefully it only involves the charms shielding it from Muggle eyes.'He turned to Harry and smiled encouragingly at him.'Well, that's nothing you need to worry about just yet Harry, but I must ask that you please stay within the castle itself until we know what we are dealing with.Also, I'm afraid, if you wish to see Lois again before she leaves, you cannot have your injuries healed today.'Harry nodded immediately, indicating that was fine.

'Very well then, would you like Professor Snape to get you a Pain Potion in the meantime?' Dumbledore asked, bushy eyebrows raised questioningly.

'No!'Harry said quickly unwilling to take anything Snape had prepared, which was a great shame because in all the confusion of Lois's arrival this morning, he had forgotten to pick up his pain medication from where it sat next to the kitchen sink.'I mean, erm, I'll just take the Muggle stuff I've got.Thanks,' he added belatedly.He wasn't in too much pain anymore, but if it did get bad, he would just sneak to the Infirmary and see if Madam Pomfrey could give him something.

Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling merrily and Harry wondered, not for the first time, whether he really could read minds. 'In that case then Harry, you may as well head off to your dormitory to get settled in; the password will still be the same as it was when you left at the end of last term.I'll ask the house-elves to send you up some food.'

'But what about Lois,Professor?'Harry asked quickly as the Headmaster began to turn away.

'Her memories will obviously have to be Oblivated,' Snape said in a hard voice.

Harry looked over at Professor Dumbledore.'Will they?'

'Lois won't wake now till morning Harry; let's wait until then before we decide.Perhaps we can simply remove her memories of the last day or so,' he added comfortingly.

Sincerely hoping that would be the case, Harry set off for Gryffindor Tower, his belated realisation of how happy he was to be homedampened by his worry over what the next day would bring.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N** Thanks to the eagle-eyed reviewer who pointed out Mobiliarbus was the spell Hermione used to move the Christmas tree. I knew that was when she had used it, but for some reason I didn't connect the 'arbus' part of it with tree; I just thought it was an all-purpose moving spell - silly me! Anyway, I've changed it now to Mobiliarmarium. Apparently in Latin armarium means a chest or cupboard for storing weapons/food, so hopefully that would be good enough to get Harry's trunk moving. Finally, as always, thanks to all the exceedingly kind folks who have taken the time to review. 


	7. Laugh Before Breakfast, Cry Before Suppe...

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**                                                                                                                   ~ 0 ~**

Lois awoke the next morning to find a note propped on the small bedside cabinet next to her bed from the Headmaster she had met the night before, Albus Dumbledore.  After blinking in vague surprise at the signature – not Albert then, as she'd half recalled – she scanned the rest of the note, the narrow, loopy writing informing her Harry would collect her for breakfast at eight o'clock.  Raising herself slightly to squint at the clock on the bureau across the room, she saw it was only a little after seven now.  Groaning heavily, Lois flopped back down onto the bed, realising with relief that there was no need to rush just yet. 

After taking careful stock of her injuries, she was happy to find that her mind was thankfully much clearer than it had been last night, although alarmingly, there were still one or two very large gaps.  She clearly remembered her reasons for wanting to check up on Harry and the surprise, which had quickly turned to annoyed distrust, after meeting Professor Snape.  

Everything was suddenly less clear however, after her refusal to allow Harry to go anywhere until she spoke to the Dursleys.  Her next real memory after that was of a quick glimpse of a large imposing castle, which she supposed must have been this – _Hogwarts, _Dumbledore had said the school was called, and then waking up here.  She could only assume that events had occurred as Professor Snape had described last night – it certainly made more sense than any other explanation she could come up with.  In any case, Lois reasoned, she would know soon enough whether this was in fact a boarding school as Snape had claimed.  If so, she supposed she owed him an apology for her behaviour yesterday.  She felt a strange, lurching, sensation in her stomach at the prospect of confronting him again; in her mind's eye she saw his sharp, intelligent face with its dark bottomless eyes and heard his soft silky voice as clearly as if he were speaking to her right now.  

Pushing away the disturbing emotions thoughts of Snape caused, Lois forced herself to concentrate on the problem at hand.  She would speak to the Headmaster, she decided, hopefully at breakfast and as long as everything was as genuine as it appeared, she could start making arrangements to head home and finally begin her holiday.  Once she left here, Lois realised, she would probably never see any of these people again.  She dismissed the pang of disappointment as nothing more than hunger.

Rising regretfully from the comfy bed, Lois examined her room and was pleased to find a small, but fully equipped bathroom behind a door on the far wall.  Before making use of it, she carried out a quick inspection of the rest of the room and was slightly disconcerted to discover the bedroom door was locked, with no discernable way of opening it from the inside.  Perhaps they just didn't trust her not to go wandering around what was probably an almost empty school, she thought and decided not to panic unless Harry failed to arrive as promised.   Thankfully her fears were groundless and she was freshly showered and dressed, unfortunately having no choice but to don her clothes from yesterday, when Harry's knock came at the door.  

'Hi, Lois,' he said brightly as he wheeled himself easily into the room.  'How are you feeling?' 

'Fine actually,' Lois replied. 'My head doesn't hurt at all, although I am starving,' she said holding a hand to her stomach, which chose that moment to growl loudly.  

'You'll love breakfast here then; it's always huge.'  

As he spoke, Lois belatedly realised that Harry was dressed in similar robes to the ones she had seen Professor Snape and the Headmaster wearing last night.  

'Er, I know they look odd,' Harry said quickly, as Lois continued to stare, 'but this is our school uniform; I thought I might as well get used to wearing them now I'm back.  Besides they're much easier to put on with my broken arm and leg than normal clothes.'  

'I've never seen a uniform like it,' Lois said slowly.  'Do the teachers have to wear them too then?'

'Yeah, plain black for the students, but the Professors can wear any colour they like.'

'Your Professor Snape's were black though,' she noted, remembering that the Headmaster's robes had been a sparkling purple.  The thought that a deep moss green might better suit Snape's colouring popped into her head, but she decided against sharing that opinion with Harry.

'Hmph,' Harry muttered, pulling a face.  '_He _never wears anything else. Ron, my friend, says he looks like a giant bat sweeping down the corridors.'  

A soft chuckle escaped Lois as the mental image swept over her of the tall professor sleeping upside down, swooping menacingly on anyone who dared to disturb his rest.  Harry must have been having similar thoughts, for he wore an identical amused grin. 

Lois's stomach suddenly rumbled hungrily again, and Harry obligingly led her out of the small room and down a long corridor towards breakfast.  Lois tried to get a good look around the dark and gloomy passages they passed, but Harry was fairly zooming along the deserted hallways and within less than a minute, they were outside a huge door in an enormous foyer, dominated by a large marble staircase in the centre.  Harry had pushed the wooden door open and was waiting politely for Lois to enter the room before him, when out the corner of her eye she saw something move and turned quickly towards it.  When she looked closer however, all she saw was a large, amazingly realistic painting of a jolly-faced woman.  

'Everything okay, Lois?' Harry asked in a loud voice.  Nodding, Lois turned reluctantly away from the strange painting and preceded Harry through the door.  

The room she found herself in on the other side was absolutely enormous; four long tables were positioned across the room and another large table faced them from a raised platform at the front of the massive hall.  The hall was exceedingly bright, and when Lois looked up to where she expected to see lights blazing, she was amazed to find herself staring instead at a dazzling blue sky.  'My goodness!  Is the ceiling glass, Harry?' she gasped.

'Er, yeah something like that,' Harry muttered and in a gesture reminiscent of Snape, guided her firmly by the elbow towards the front of the room, where a smaller table that she hadn't noticed when she first came in was set up.  The aroma of delicious food assailed her nostrils and she headed towards it, smiling politely as she saw Snape and the Headmaster she had met last night, along with another woman she didn't recognise.

Both Snape and Dumbledore stood as Harry and Lois approached them.  Once they had arrived at the table, Snape politely drew out the free chair next to him for Lois.  She was uncomfortably aware of the tall professor's closeness as he performed this task and she shied imperceptibly away as the sleeve of his robe brushed her bare arm.  Small though the movement had been, Snape obviously noticed, for he stiffened immediately and shot her a cold glare as he purposely let his hands slide away from the chair back and resumed his own place at the table.  Luckily, everyone's attention was focussed on Harry, who was struggling to get his wheelchair close enough to the table to comfortably eat, and the incident passed unnoticed.  Good mornings were finally exchanged and once they were all seated again, Professor Dumbledore invited Lois to help herself to the food set in the centre of the table and offered her a glass of something called pumpkin juice, which she accepted doubtfully. 

'How is your head this morning, Lois?' the Headmaster asked with concern.

'Fine, thank you,' Lois replied, feeling slightly awkward.  'It was very kind of you to let me stay last night.' 

'You're most welcome, it was the very least we could do,' Dumbledore said sincerely.  'Now, you met Severus yesterday of course, but I'm afraid you weren't introduced to our Deputy Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall,' he said, indicating the woman on his right.  

'Pleased to meet you, Professor McGonagall,' Lois said, shaking her offered hand.  Although the professor appeared outwardly rigid with her stern features and hair caught up in a tight bun, her slight smile and warm eyes hinted at her true nature.  

'Do call me Minerva,' she invited.

'What an unusual collection of names you all have,' Lois said.  'I don't think I've ever met another Minerva and I'm quite sure I've never even heard of a Severus or an Albus,' she continued, smiling at the two of them as she spoke.  She couldn't help but notice that Snape did not return her smile, and instead watched her impassively from his coal black eyes.  She wondered vaguely if he _ever_ smiled; he certainly had none of the laugh lines normally associated with people of a sunny disposition. 

Harry grinned over his pumpkin juice at her, interrupting her musings. 'I know, there's only me and you who have normal names.' 

'I wish,' Lois laughed.  'I got teased dreadfully at school and eventually I refused to even tell anyone my real name.'

'Excuse me – Lois isn't your real name?'  Minerva asked sharply, while the rest of the table's occupants stopped eating and suddenly became very interested in the conversation.

'Erm, no,' Lois answered, surprised at her tone and the attention their discussion had garnered.  'Actually it's Achelois, horrific for a child,' she grimaced.

'Achelois,' Professor McGonagall repeated, a considering look in her eyes, which sharpened suddenly as she focused on Lois again. 'And is Scott your birth name also?' 

'Well, no, as a matter of fact I was born Achelois Bell; Scott's my married name.'  Lois had her head turned towards Minerva as she spoke and didn't notice the stiffening of Snape's harsh features at her words, or the hopeful light that appeared in Harry's eyes.  

'Achelois Bell,' McGonagall said softly.  'A very pretty name – what a shame children always mock that which is strange or unfamiliar.'  She shared a pointed look with Dumbledore before standing abruptly.  'Please excuse me, my dear, I've just remembered something I have to do,' she apologised, making her way from the hall with a rustle of robes. 

'Was it something I said?'  Lois asked, only half joking.

'Oh, most certainly not,' Dumbledore assured.  'Even when the school is empty of students there is always much work to be done.  To get back to your name though – Achelois is certainly most unusual; are you aware of its meaning?' 

'No,' Lois confessed, intrigued.  'I asked my father once and he said my mother had chosen it, but he didn't know why.'

'Perhaps she had a premonition as to the type of career you would choose,' the Headmaster smiled.  'Achelois was a Greek moon goddess, it means, if I remember correctly, "She who drives away pain."'

'Really?'  Lois asked surprised. 'What a coincidence! Although I bet Harry didn't think I was driving away pain when I kept forcing all those vile pills and medicines down his neck,' she grinned over at the young boy, who smiled back before taking an enthusiastic bite from the sausage on his fork.  

'Trust me,' Harry mumbled, hurriedly swallowing his food. 'I've tasted worse,' he said with a dark glance at Snape, who appeared to be deep in some unpleasant thoughts of his own and hadn't heard.

Lois looked curiously at Snape and Harry, noticing the Professors distraction and Harry's scowling visage; _these two obviously have some history_ she thought, before the Headmaster drew her attention again by offering her more pumpkin juice which, she had been pleased to discover, was actually much nicer than it sounded.  

While she was finishing her delicious breakfast, she heard Professor Dumbledore addressing Harry to ask if he was in any pain. Lois turned quickly towards Harry and was instantly annoyed with herself for not noticing sooner his pale features and heavy eyes.  She immediately pushed herself away from the table, but Dumbledore waved her back into her seat saying, 'Don't get up my dear, I'm sure Severus will be kind enough to take Harry down to the Infirmary.'  

Snape looked up sharply at this, fixing the Headmaster with a questioning stare.  Although Lois could see no answer in his eyes, the silent communication obviously made sense to Snape, because he stood up and placed himself behind Harry's wheelchair pushing him from the room, sparing Lois a cool nod as he did so.  Before he had taken two steps, Harry grabbed one of the chair's wheels with his good hand and turned beseechingly to Lois.  

'You won't go before I've said goodbye, will you, Lois?' he asked, his eyes momentarily swivelling to Dumbledore. 

'I wouldn't dream of it,' she answered warmly, rewarded with his pleased grin in return.  Snape made an impatient sound and Harry lifted his hand to his lap, allowing Snape to push him from the room unhampered.

No sooner had Snape and Harry left the hall, than Minerva McGonagall returned via a small door set in the wall at the side of the raised platform.  Professor McGonagall's face was flushed slightly and she held something in her hands, which she passed to Professor Dumbledore as soon as she was close enough.  As the Headmaster reached to take it, Lois saw that it was a half open role of parchment, the kind of which she had only ever seen before in old films and costume dramas on television.  The parchment was tattered and slightly yellowing with age, and had what appeared to be a long list of names written on it in flowing green ink.  

Professor McGonagall clearly grew impatient with Dumbledore's slow study of the parchment, because she quickly unrolled it further pointing sharply to a name close to the beginning.  It obviously meant something, because the Headmaster blinked slowly and met Minerva's eyes with a questioning glance.  With a small nod, Professor McGonagall then handed him another object that Lois hadn't noticed before.  When he unfolded it she could see that it appeared to be a piece of normal notepaper.  This time however, she had no idea what was written on it, because the back of the sheet was blank and the paper too thick for any words to bleed through.  Professor McGonagall allowed the Headmaster to read uninterrupted and when he reached the bottom of the page, he let out a small sigh and muttered, 'Ah, I see.'  

Folding the paper precisely, Professor Dumbledore placed it face down on the table before exchanging a quick look with Professor McGonagall, who nodded slightly and left the hall again, smiling kindly at Lois as she left.       

'Is everything alright, Headmaster?'  Lois asked, as he turned his attention back to her

'Yes my dear, fine.  Minerva has just found the answer to a particularly perplexing puzzle that has had us all stumped since you arrived here last night.'

'Oh, that's good,' she said, unsure what else to say.

'Yes indeed.'  He looked closely at Lois. 'I suppose, Lois, that you have already noticed that Hogwarts is somewhat… unusual.  I realise we have all been less that forthcoming, but have you reached a conclusion as to what type of school it actually is?' 

A very strange one, Lois immediately thought – a school housed in an honest-to-goodness castle with the teachers and pupils wandering around in robes.  Maybe it was some sort of weird monastery she thought, or perhaps a drama school?  Nothing else she could think of would explain the odd environment and how, well, _eccentric _everyone was. 

'A stage school?' she finally answered diplomatically.

Dumbledore laughed at that.  'I suppose that would be my guess too in your position,' he chuckled again before becoming serious once more.  'Actually, Lois, I can think of no way to prepare you for the real answer, so I feel it would be best to just say it - Hogwarts is a school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  One of the finest in the world, if I say so myself,' he finished proudly.

'Really?'  Lois said pleasantly, swiftly deciding the best course of action would be to humour him until she could escape from this insane asylum to safety.

'Really,' Dumbledore repeated. He sighed when he saw the frantic look in her eyes as she searched furtively for escape, and drew his wand from the sleeves of his robes.   

Lois stood sharply, panic rising when she saw the small stick he held in his hand.  _What the hell was he doing now? _ 'Look, Professor, it's really none of my business what type of school this is,' she said, an escape plan already forming - she would head to the nearest town and arrange for help for Harry from there.  There was really nothing she could do alone, and Harry didn't seem inclined to escape even if she _could_ get the two of them out.

'Please don't be alarmed, Lois,' Dumbledore said and amazingly, given the evidence, Lois did calm slightly looking into his wise blue eyes and sat warily back in her seat.  'I can prove what I am saying is true.' 

'Okay then, go ahead and prove it.'  Maybe Dumbledore was just a bit senile, she thought, relaxing further and deciding she had probably overreacted, although he _did_ seem remarkably lucid.  If she could just find Snape or McGonagall, perhaps they would be able to explain this.  While she was still distracted by the hundred and one thoughts flitting through her mind, the Headmaster waved the stick he held in a swishing motion and the entire table cleared of the food that had been there seconds before.  

'Wha... What the hell was that!' Lois gasped. 

'Magic,' Dumbledore replied. 

Before she had regained the ability for coherent speech, Dumbledore was mumbling again.  This time when he spoke the room and tables were suddenly covered in a thick blanket of flowers of every kind imaginable:  Tulips, lilies, carnations, freesias, hyacinths, daffodils, violets, dahlias and hundreds of other more exotic varieties that she couldn't name.  The only free space in the room now consisted of two small circles surrounding her own and Dumbledore's chairs, allowing them both to continue sitting comfortably.  She drew a deep breath in shock, inhaling the fragrance of the fresh blooms.  Her hand reached out cautiously to touch a deep red rose, which was teetering precariously on the edge of the breakfast table. The flower appeared real and she lifted it towards her, sniffing delicately at its heady perfume and examining the velvety petals closely.  As she bent to lift a second flower from the floor, this time a huge yellow chrysanthemum, she felt the pollen from the thousands of flowers begin to tickle her nose and sneezed twice in rapid succession. 

'I'm sorry, Lois,' Dumbledore apologized. 'Do you suffer from hay fever?'  He waved his stick again as he spoke, the flowers disappearing as quickly and as completely as they had appeared.  'I could, I suppose, have conjured synthetic flowers to be on the safe side, but to me however realistic they appear they're never quite the same, don't you agree?'   

Lois stared back at him, her mouth hanging open in amazement.  She didn't want to believe what had just happened, but she had seen it with her own eyes - unless it was some kind of trick?  Maybe they had used hologram projections or something.  Then again she _had_ held that rose in her hand.  'Do something else,' she demanded jerkily, ignoring his question.  'Something I pick, so that I know you haven't set it up beforehand.' 

'Very well,' Dumbledore said in the same even tone, his eyes twinkling merrily.

Lois looked around, thinking quickly.  Almost anything in this room could have been tampered with she decided and instead looked down at herself.  'My dress,' she said.  'Change the colour of it.'

'Any particular colour?' 

'As long as it's not the same as it is now, you choose.'

Of course he couldn't really do it, but Lois nevertheless stared fixedly at her dress, refusing to take her eyes away from it as though she were expecting someone to replace it while she wasn't looking.  Out the corner of her eye she was aware that Dumbledore was waving his stick again and muttering what sounded like, '_Aurum in Loco.' _

Lois watched, frozen, as her navy blue dress changed into a soft buttery gold.  When she was certain of what she saw, she blinked once and slowly looked up into Dumbledore's benign countenance. 

'So,' she began, dragging the word out. 'You're a wizard then, are you?'

'I am.'  

'And Professor Snape and McGonagall?' she questioned dazedly.

'Them too.'

'Not Harry though,' she said – surely that young boy couldn't be a wizard.  If he was, why hadn't he saved himself from the accident with a spell?

'Oh, Harry is most definitely a wizard,' Dumbledore chuckled.  Lois was still struggling to wrap her head around the extraordinary turn events had taken, when Dumbledore dropped his final bombshell.  'And actually, Lois, so are you.'  

**^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^**

**A/N** Phew, I'm so glad you guys liked the last chapter! I was utterly convinced that I'd been too heavy handed with the clues and I'd be barraged with reviews saying "You're fooling no one – it's obvious she's a witch, stop wasting my time and just tell me her _real_ first name damn it!" It's very hard, I've discovered, to view a story objectively when you know where it's going! 

Also, a couple of people mentioned it, and I know it's taking a while to get to the romance, but it's coming I promise. The thing is, there's quite a lot of stuff with Lois I need to get into the story first and anyway, although we're up to chapter seven, within the confines of the story Lois and Snape only met yesterday so they're not moving _too_ slowly. 

And Brittanie – Achelois is pronounced A-kel-ois, but as for Lois, that's just Low-is (with is, sounding like miss).


	8. The Last Eadon

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**                                                                                                                   ~ 0 ~**

'What?!' she squawked. 

'Technically of course, I mean a witch.  A rose by any other name, eh?' he smiled.

For a stunned moment Lois was incapable of speech.  When she was finally able to form words again, her voice was croaky, but still clear enough to be understood.  'If I'm a witch, why can't I do spells and stuff, and why didn't I go to school here?' she managed, waving her hand vaguely around the room.

'Well actually, Lois, you did have a place at Hogwarts,' Dumbledore murmured softly, all humour vanishing from his face.  

'So what happened, because I'm pretty damn sure there was no 'A' Level Disappearing Crockery at Brookfield Comprehensive,' she said gesturing clumsily to the now bare breakfast table. 

Dumbledore winced slightly at her harsh question, but his voice when he spoke was calm and reassuring.  'I'm afraid when your letter was sent inviting you to Hogwarts, your father wrote declining on your behalf.'

'My father?' Lois said in confusion.  'No!  He would never have not told me something this…' Her words of instinctive denial petered to a slow halt as an arrested expression claimed her face.  'Oh my God,' she breathed softly, her eyes unfocussed and glassy as she sat staring into the past.  'He knew.'  

'Lois?'  The old man prompted gently when she continued staring vacantly into space, seemingly no longer aware of his presence.

'My dad, he… died,' she said jerkily, the memories of that terrible time still painful.  'Three years ago.  Cancer.  He was sick for a long time and towards the end he became very confused.  Normally he was an extremely intelligent man and had an excellent memory, but as his illness progressed…' She felt her eyes sting, experiencing again the torment of watching her beloved father disintegrate into a pale shadow of his former self as the dreadful disease ravaged his once strong mind and body.  'He was in a lot of pain,' she continued softly, in control once more, 'and taking so much medication, it was no wonder he got so mixed-up.  During his worst periods, he often didn't make any sense at all; he would confuse me with other people, forgot where he was, when it was – that type of thing.'  She looked up into Dumbledore's kind face to see if he understood and received a sympathetic nod in return. 

'One night he became terribly upset and kept saying how sorry he was for not telling me about my mother's world, for holding me back. It didn't make any sense – I don't really remember my mother, but he'd told me all about her, or at least I _thought_ he had,' she murmured, immediately forcing herself to set aside that particular subject for a moment. 'Anyway, when he was like that there was no point trying to reason with him – I kept telling him that of course he hadn't held me back, but he still wouldn't settle.'  Dumbledore patted her hand comfortingly and Lois gained a little strength from his touch.  'My mother was a… a witch wasn't she?' 

'Yes,' Dumbledore replied.  

Lois nodded, expecting that.  'He said he'd been wrong and that she wouldn't have wanted me to deny my heritage, but he couldn't bear to lose me too.  I thought it was the ramblings of a dying man, so I told him I forgave him and didn't blame him for any of it.  He seemed to calm down then and he never mentioned it again.  He died two days later.'  Lois lapsed into silence for a moment, lost in thought.  'Oh,' she said, as another memory struck, 'he said he'd kept all of her things for me in the attic, that I should see them.'

'Did you never look, Lois?'  

'No, as I said, he was drifting in and out of consciousness and towards the end he was barely lucid.  He spent an entire afternoon at one point, utterly convinced I was a stranger who'd broken into the house - how could I have known any of it was real?' she asked plaintively, lifting her shoulders in a bewildered movement.

'You couldn't, of course.'  Dumbledore apologised immediately.

She shook herself slightly, dislodging the pain in her chest enough to continue.  'After the funeral it upset me too much to go back to the house – Dad and I were very close.  My mum died when I was only eighteen months old and from then on it was just him and me – we didn't have anyone else you see.  For the longest time I couldn't stand to go home, knowing he wouldn't be there.  David, my husband, cleared the house and stored most of the personal belongings; I couldn't even do that. Afterwards we rented it out, David and I had a flat in London because of our work.  It wouldn't have been practical for us to live there ourselves.  We didn't sell it because we planned… we planned to move back later, after we started a family, when the memories weren't so upsetting.'

'Where is your husband, Lois?'  Dumbledore asked curiously.

'He died too, six months later in a motorcycle accident,' she said painfully, seeing again her beloved David with the laughing blue eyes and wavy blond hair.  For the longest time she had considered herself cursed, not sure that she could go on without her father and husband.  Slowly the raw wounds of her loss had begun to heal and it was only very recently that she had started enjoying life again instead of merely enduring it.

'I'm sorry, my dear,' the Headmaster said sincerely.

'Yes,' she managed in a watery voice, 'me too.  He was a wonderful man, far too young to die.'  Lois raised her hands to her eyes scrubbing at them furiously; she wasn't going to cry, she had done all her crying a long time ago.  It was silly to get so upset just because this insanity had been dropped in her lap out the blue; she had suffered far more heartbreaking news than this during her life.  And anyway, this didn't even qualify as bad news, not really, it was just very, very, bizarre.  Somewhere in the back of her mind she wondered vaguely if the blow to her head had caused permanent brain damage; perhaps she wasn't here at all, perhaps she was lying in a hospital bed somewhere, hooked up to machines and monitors dreaming all this up.  Pushing the unsettling thoughts away, she sat a little straighter in her chair.  'So, did you know my mother, Professor?' she asked firmly.  

Dumbledore studied her closely for a moment.  She met his concerned stare dry-eyed and after a minute he nodded, a look of respect in his eyes as he spoke.  'A long time ago, yes, when she was a student here.  I had heard that she'd married a Muggle, but of course that was long after she had left Hogwarts.  When I knew her she was Niahm Eadon.  A charming young girl as I recall, very intelligent too – a Ravenclaw, as was her twin, your uncle Niall.  Ah, were you aware your mother was a twin, Lois?' he asked cautiously, seeing her dumbstruck expression.

'No,' she said stunned.  'My father never mentioned him; he said he and my mother were both only children.'

'Oh,' Dumbledore said heavily.  'That wasn't true I'm afraid.'

'Is he still alive?' she asked eagerly.

'I'm sorry, Lois, no.  All off the Eadon family are long gone now, except you.'

Lois felt a pang of anguish as she realised she had just discovered a family member that she would never now have the chance to meet.  She didn't know what was worse, knowing or not knowing he had ever existed. 'What were they like?' she asked softly.  'My mum and her brother.'

'Well, as I said, both were extremely bright.  Your mother though was by far the more outgoing of the two.  Niall was somewhat shy as I remember, never one to push himself forward.  I suppose your grandfather had a lot to do with that - Conall Eadon was not an easy man,' he said with a rueful smile of remembrance.

_And a grandfather_ _too_, Lois thought reeling from one bombshell to the next.  'Why was my grandfather so hard on him?' she asked, trying valiantly to put the shock to one side, aware that Dumbledore was monitoring her closely.  She had no doubt that if he thought this was getting too much for her, he would stop the story until she'd had time to calm down and she couldn't bear to delay hearing his explanation, even for a short while.

'Your family were quite well known in the wizarding world; the Eadon bloodline goes back a great number of years.  I imagine Conall simply set high standards for Niall, being the only boy.  Unfortunately, Niall did not have the temperament to handle the type of pressures your grandfather placed upon him; it made him very nervous and highly-strung.  Luckily your mother never had any difficulty standing up for herself, or those she considered in need of her protection. Something you seem to have inherited from her,' he smiled, his eyes twinkling merrily.

Lois gave a half laugh at that, feeling the tension that had been holding her body taught lessen slightly.  'Why were they well-known?' 

'Well the Eadon's had a long history of producing very powerful healers, mediwizards as they are now called.  In fact, Lois, they pioneered many of the techniques used in medical magic today.  There's even an Eadon wing dedicated to them within St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.'

'Oh,' she said, slightly shocked.  'So was my mother one of these, mediwizards then?'

'Yes, she and Niall – they both went into the family business so to speak.' 

'How did my mother die?' she finally asked the question that had been nagging her since Dumbledore had begun this incredible story.  Her father had told her that her mother had died in a boating accident during a family holiday.  Given everything she had discovered this afternoon, it seemed doubtful now that that was true.

Dumbledore sighed sadly.  'I'm afraid, Lois, she was another casualty of the war with Voldemort.'

'Who?'

'Voldemort.  He was an immensely strong wizard who wanted to take over the world and rid it of all those he deemed unworthy.  During his struggle for power he killed thousands of witches and wizards as well as Muggles – that's what we call non-wizarding people,' he explained seeing her confusion.

'And my mother was fighting him?' Lois asked surprised.  'I don't understand – I thought you said she was a mediwizard?'

'She was, and an extremely good one at that.  A team of mediwizards, including herself and Niall, were attending the aftermath of one of Voldemort's attacks.  Unfortunately after the area was declared clear by the Aurors, a few Death Eaters - Voldemort's followers - returned.  They killed everyone left alive,' he said regretfully.

'Was my grandfather there too?' she asked, bemused by this unbelievable turn of events.

'No, Conall wasn't a mediwizard at all.  Much to everyone's surprise at the time, he went straight into the Ministry of Magic once he qualified as a wizard.  He died only a few months after your mother and uncle.  At that time Voldemort had only just begun really making his presence felt; he had been targeting senior Ministry officials and by that stage your grandfather was quite high up in the Department of Mysteries. Their work is exceedingly hush-hush, so very little official information was released other than the fact he was killed following a Death Eater raid on his home.'

'And all this is why my dad wouldn't let me go to school here, why he never told me about my mother.  He didn't want to risk losing me too,' she realised, understanding now the reasons he had kept her mother's world from her.

'I'm afraid so.  Voldemort was actually defeated the year you were invited to attend Hogwarts, but your father felt the chances of his returning were too great.'

'This is all so strange I can barely believe it,' she murmured, still dazed by the huge amount of information she was having to process in such a short space of time.  'I suppose the most amazing thing is that I ever found out at all – I mean what are the odds on me running into Harry and ending up here?'

'Probably not as great as you would imagine,' Dumbledore said smiling again.

'What do you mean?'

'Well my best guess is that Harry is the first witch or wizard you've had long-term exposure to since your mother died; I would imagine the magic part of you recognised the same in Harry.  Did you feel a connection to him straight away?'  

'Well yes, I suppose I did,' Lois said slowly. 'I mean I often get attached to the children I nurse, but this was different, stronger.'  

Dumbledore nodded.  'Not only that, Lois, the Eadon's often had empathic abilities, that's partly what made them such skilled healers.  Being around an injured wizard may have awoken similar skills in you that were previously largely dormant.  I would think that would have made the connection to him all the stronger.'

'Empathic?'  Lois questioned warily.  'What does that entail exactly?' 

'Don't look so suspicious, child,' Dumbledore said, amused.  'As I understand it, it's a great advantage which some healers possess, allowing them to hone in on the cause of an illness or disease in order to cure it.  After all, it would be extremely useful to be able to sense your patient's pain when you are attempting to heal them.'  

'I'm pretty sure I can't do that,' Lois said nervously. 'I think I would have noticed if I could.'

'Never had an uncanny knack for soothing fretting little ones?' 

Lois hesitated, unwilling to confess that she _had_ always had what an old ward Sister had called a 'golden touch' when it came to comforting babies too tiny to explain where their pain was.

'Let's not worry about it now,' the Headmaster said kindly, seeing her troubled expression. 'Whatever the reason, the important thing is you've finally found your way here.  Something that's fated can only ever be delayed, Lois, it cannot be denied forever – you were obviously meant to discover you are a witch.'

'I suppose so,' Lois said hesitantly, feeling suddenly overwhelmed.  

Dumbledore smiled reassuringly.  'Well, Lois, while there are decisions to be made, they don't have to be made right now and I'm sure you're tired of hearing me blathering on. Would you perhaps like to talk with Harry about any of this?  He discovered he was a wizard in circumstances similar to your own, he may be able to offer you a viewpoint I cannot.'  

Lois gave his suggestion some thought, but finally shook her head no.  'I think… I think I need to be alone for a while, to take all this in.  Would that be all right?'

'Certainly, my dear, I understand completely.  Let me walk you back to your room.'

'Don't you trust me not to run screaming out the front door?' Lois asked, seriously tempted by that very thought.

'Not at all, it's just that Hogwarts can be a little unsettling to the uninitiated and I wouldn't want to leave you to your own devices so soon.'

'This place _is_ a little spooky, I even thought I saw a painting move on my way down to breakfast this morning.'

'Really?' Dumbledore asked looking chagrined. 'And after I specifically warned them all to be on their best behaviour.'

'You mean it did move?'

'You will soon come to discover, Lois, that very little at Hogwarts is as it seems.'

Lois nodded nervously and followed Dumbledore back to the small room she had used last night.  Although she eyed all of the paintings and suits of armour they passed with a wary eye, everything that should be still remained so and the short walk was accomplished without incident. Once safely inside the room Dumbledore turned to Lois again. 'Are you sure there is nothing I can get for you?'

'No, I'll be fine, I just need a little time.'

'Very well, I'll send someone to collect you for lunch in a few hours, if that will be long enough?'

'Perfect, thanks. Professor wait!' she called as the door was about to close behind him. 'Do you have any books that I could read, you know something nice and simple and not too scary so that I can get a bit of background to all this?'

Dumbledore paused for a moment, a thoughtful frown on his face and then muttered a few words Lois couldn't make out.  Within seconds, two books came hurtling through the open doorway and screeched to halt above the old wizard's right hand.  I will _never _get used to this_, _Lois thought, dazed.  'I think these are the type of things you're looking for,' Dumbledore said, passing them both to her.  

Lois looked down at the books she held; the first was a large, heavy hardback covered in red silk called, _The Encyclopaedia of Wizards and Wizarding:  A Complete Revised and Updated Handbook to our Magical World,_ by Orville Smolley.  She placed the heavy volume on the bed and turned her attention to the second, smaller book.  This one was a thin paperback with a picture of a round-faced witch wearing garish purple robes and winking knowingly from the cover.  Lois stared in amazement for a few seconds at the moving picture, before glancing down at the title written in flashy red writing underneath - _So you Think you're a Witch: 180 Easy Tests and Quizzes_, by Theola Thrum.

'I know,' Dumbledore said, wincing slightly when Lois looked up at him.  'A dreadfully title, but a surprisingly good read. Oh, one last thing, Lois,' Dumbledore continued as she slumped onto the bed, still staring at Theola Thrum's grinning visage.  'Knowing Harry as I do, I'm certain his curiosity will have reached epic proportions by now, and I'm afraid having to wait another few hours to speak to you himself will finish the poor boy off.  May I have your permission to tell him what has happened?'

'Oh, yes, yes,' Lois said absently.

'And Professor Snape?'

Lois's head shot up at the mention of his name.  'Will he be dying of curiosity too?' she asked her stomach tensing, not unpleasantly, at the thought of him.

'I would imagine so,' Dumbledore said with a small smile.

'Then by all means tell him.'  Lois said as casually as she could.  Dumbledore nodded and closed the door quietly behind him as he left.  Finally alone, Lois breathed a huge sigh of relief and flopped back onto the bed exhausted.

***

As soon as they were clear of the Great Hall, Snape abandoned his position behind Harry's wheelchair and stalked ahead of him towards the Infirmary with long strides.  Harry, having no desire to chat with Snape either, slowed the chair and quickly lost sight of the Potions master around a corner. He sincerely hoped that Snape would veer off at some point towards his dungeons, leaving him to speak to Madam Pomfrey alone.  

Despite the pain in his bruised body and broken limbs, Harry was fairly brimming with excitement. Now that they had discovered Professor McGonagall had been looking for the wrong names in the archives, he was hopeful once more that Lois could be a witch.  His excitement dimmed slightly as he recalled that Professor Snape's spell had shown no evidence of magic on Lois.  Still, there was more of a chance now than there had been last night, he decided firmly, hastily guiding the wheelchair down another corridor when he caught sight of Peeves ahead of him.  He didn't dare risk an encounter with the annoying poltergeist the state he was in at the moment.  His newly optimistic mood was soon dampened unfortunately, when he arrived at the Infirmary minutes later only to be met by Snape's looming figure with no sign of the Hogwarts matron at all.

'Drink this,' Snape said, holding out a steaming goblet towards Harry and foregoing any explanation.

'What is it?'  Harry asked suspiciously, making no move to take it.

'Unless both the Headmaster and I are mistaken, you appear to be in pain, Potter, despite your impressive _Muggle_ medication,' he sneered.  'While I do not possess a healer's skill for soothing aches and repairing broken bones, this potion will reduce your pain and speed your bodies own healing abilities.'  

'Isn't Madam Pomfrey going to treat me?'  Harry asked in a half-panicked tone.  He hated to think what Snape might have brewed up for him, especially when he knew there were no witnesses around to see the results.

'As she is currently visiting her sister in Australia, I would think that highly unlikely,' Snape mocked.  'What?' he asked at Harry's crestfallen expression.  'Did you imagine the entire Hogwarts staff spent their holidays here, Potter, on standby to sort out any problems you may or may not experience?'  

'N... no of course not,' Harry stammered, 'but couldn't she just Apparate back for five minutes?'  

'Madam Pomfrey refuses to use any form of magical travel other than broomstick, which also rules out the possibility of a Portkey I'm afraid,' Snape said, sounding not the slightest bit sorry.  

Harry looked distrustfully at the large goblet the potion was in.  'Why is there so much?' he finally asked.  'The Pain Potion you gave Lois last night was tiny _and_ it didn't smell like this,' he remembered, scrunching his nose in distaste as he got a strong whiff of something foul smelling.

'Miss Scott had merely sustained a blow to the head; she did not require the type of ingredients that are necessary to deal with the pain associated with broken limbs.  In addition, her potion also contained a light sleeping draught, which yours does not.  What is it, Potter?' Snape asked a cruel gleam in his eyes.  'Don't tell me the Boy Who Lived is frightened he's about to be finished off by a simple Pain Potion administered by a professor from his own school?'

As Harry continued to hesitate, Snape suddenly ran out of patience and thrust the goblet forcibly into his left hand. 'Oh for goodness sake, boy, either drink the potion or dispose of it as you will, it really makes no difference to me.'  And with that and a swish of his black robes he departed the main room, heading to Madam Pomfrey's office where he began replacing bottles and jars he had obviously used to make the potion Harry now held.

Harry stared down cautiously at the bubbling brew.  It was bright green and steaming gently, in fact the goblet itself was becoming warm to the touch.  Reminding himself that Professor Dumbledore trusted Snape, Harry took a deep breath and drank back the liquid in one large gulp.  It tasted vile and for a second he was afraid he was going to bring it straight back up again, but thankfully the feeling quickly passed.  Then something amazing happened; a tingling heat started in the tips of his toes and travelled slowly up his legs spreading throughout his body, leaving a pleasant warmth behind.  Within minutes his entire body was free from pain and deliciously relaxed.  He breathed in deeply, something he had been unable to do comfortably with his damaged ribs, and exulted in the feeling of bliss that flooded him.  

Until this moment, Harry had become almost unaware of the constant nagging pain he had been in, but now he was free from it he felt wonderful.  He thought guiltily of his rudeness to Snape about the potion, but only for a minute; he was entirely too warm and cosy to worry about anything for long.  Anyway, he reasoned, if Snape wasn't such a git all the time, he wouldn't have had cause to doubt him.

Harry relaxed back in his chair and tuned out the sounds of Snape apparently packing the potion ingredients away without magic, judging by the loud banging and crashing noises he was making.  Harry wondered vaguely what had put him in such a bad mood; he doubted it was the little disagreement they had just had, that was relatively mild for them.  Then he remembered Snape had become even more miserable than usual during breakfast; he hadn't even picked up on Harry's little dig about the potions he tried to test on him on a regular basis.  

Brushing the irritating thoughts aside, Harry concentrated on his sudden feeling of well being and indulged himself in the improbable fantasy of Lois, _no, Achelois_, suddenly being revealed to be not only a witch, but also his long lost aunt.  He was jerked out of his pleasant daydreams, which by this stage had moved onto the even less likely scenario of Sirius being acquitted of all crimes, meeting and falling in love with Lois and inviting Harry to live with them forever, by Dumbledore's entrance into the Infirmary. 

Harry snapped to attention and moved eagerly forward, anxious to find out what had happened.  

'Feeling better, Harry?' Dumbledore asked, peering down at him.

'Heaps, thanks,' he answered quickly.  'Is she a witch then?' he blurted out before he could stop himself, realising as he said it that Snape was now standing by his side, a watchful expression on his thin face.

'Yes, Harry, she is.'  

'I knew it!'  

'How is that possible, Headmaster?'  Snape asked, a disbelieving note in his voice.

'Lois is the granddaughter of Conall Eadon.'

'Eadon?' Snape said in surprise. 'I wasn't aware there were any Eadons still left alive?' 

'Well, Lois would have been only a baby when her mother was murdered.  Her father was a Muggle and understandably loathe to have anything more to do with the wizarding world after his wife's death.  If Conall had lived I imagine it would have been a different story, but as it was Lois was raised never knowing she was a witch,' Dumbledore said heavily.  

'Her mother was murdered?'  Harry asked.

'Yes, she was a mediwizard and had been called to treat the survivors following a Death Eater attack.  Both she and her brother were killed when the Death Eaters returned unexpectedly.'

Snape flinched slightly at that, his eyes glassy and hard.  'I take it then,' he said in a suddenly cold voice, 'she will be rushing home to break the news to her husband as we speak?'

'Sadly, Severus, that is not possible,' Dumbledore said quietly. 'Lois is a widow; her husband passed away not long after her father – she seems to be quite alone in the world now.'

'Poor Lois,' Harry murmured in commiseration.  'Is she okay?'

'A little stunned, obviously, but I think she will be fine given time.  Well, let's have no more of this doom and gloom,' Dumbledore said bracingly, seeing Harry's quiet introspection at the mention of the loss of a parent.  'Lois has returned to our world – this is a cause for celebration!'

Harry smiled at his words, the haunted expression he had worn leaving him as he did.  'I'm glad you won't have to Oblivate Lois's memories.'

'So am I,' Dumbledore assured him, his blue eyes twinkling merrily.  'Now, Harry,' the Headmaster said, eyeing Harry's plaster casts.  'I realise that you've had a bad experience in the past with unqualified professors attempting to repair your broken bones, but in the absence of Poppy, are you willing to trust an old man to the job?'  

Harry grinned, holding out his heavy right arm with alacrity.

**^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^**

**A/N** Rosmerta – Glad you liked Lois's full name - it is Greek and no, I definitely don't know Greek! I just wanted Lois to have a name that had some significance and was unusual enough that it wouldn't be obvious it was short for something. I searched some mythology sites with name meanings and luckily happened upon Achelois, which fitted perfectly. 

And to Margie Potter - Actually Snape wasn't disturbed by Lois's real name – it was the fact she was married that caused his reaction.


	9. Decisions, Decisions

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**                                                                                                                   ~ 0 ~**

Lois lay on her back on the bed she had slept in the previous night, staring blankly up at the ceiling.  The larger of the two books Dumbledore had lent her lay open, heavy across her stomach.  She had stopped reading it almost an hour ago, but had been unable to work up the energy to lift it off her and put it on the bedside table.  Her mind was still reeling from the shocks she had received today, but she was slowly coming to terms with it all.  Every time she began to doubt her sanity, she simply had to pick up the copy of, _So you Think you're a Witch: 180 Easy Tests and Quizzes_ and stare again at the animated image of Theola Thrum smiling back at her.  That was when she was there of course.  When she had first picked up the book to re-examine it, she had been amazed to find the front cover, other than the title, completely bare.  She had stared at it for long minutes, utterly convinced that she had lost her mind, when the round-faced witch had sidled back into view, looking uncomfortably as though she had been caught out in some wrong doing.  That was the moment when Lois had finally and irrevocably accepted that this was real.  Witches and wizards and magic existed and she was part of it.  

What she didn't know however, was what would happen next.  She bitterly regretted asking Dumbledore to leave her alone and was wishing desperately for someone to talk to.  Her most pressing concern was that now she had discovered this whole new world existed, she was afraid that she might not be allowed to stay in it.  Certainly it would be easier to pretend none of it had happened and go back to her normal life, but truthfully she no longer wanted to.  

She had read through the books Dumbledore had given her and had been intrigued by what she had found inside.  The _Encyclopaedia of Wizards and Wizarding_ had been the most useful.  She had sat, mouth open in awed wonder as she read about flying brooms, goblin rebellions and giant wars, the founding of Hogwarts, the existence of unicorns, werewolves and other fantastic beasts and the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy of 1692, which had formed the final break between the wizard and the Muggle world.  She had been astonished to find that even given the huge length of time that had passed since that had occurred, many of the legends and fairy tales she had been told as a child had a basis in truth.  

Her pleasure and delight in what she was learning had come to an abrupt halt when she had reached the pages dedicated to Voldemort, or You-Know-Who.   Harry's name had featured prominently in that section and she had felt a cold chill encompass her when she had realised how close he had come to death.  She dreaded to think what would have happened if Voldemort hadn't been defeated by Harry when he had – he would probably have taken over the whole world by now.

Despite the unpleasantness along with the wonder of magic she had found in the book, she had discovered that the idea of embracing her newly-found wizarding heritage was hugely appealing.  Her normal life, if she was totally honest, had become a grim, bleak, lonely existence, consisting almost entirely of work and nothing else.  When her father had died she had been utterly distraught, but she had at least had David to comfort her and get her through the agonising time when she hadn't known one day from the next.  She had only just been coming to terms with her loss when six months later David was gone too.  This time however, she had been without his stabilising presence and consequently had retreated almost totally from the world.  The friends they had shared had been mostly couples and although they had done their best to stay in contact, Lois had persisted in keeping them at a distance until finally no one was left.  She knew that there had been a certain relief for them when she had begun slowly severing the ties of friendship.  Lois was a walking reminder of their own mortality, not a pleasant concept at their young ages. 

Now though, there was this, the possibility of beginning again with new challenges and new experiences and she suddenly found that she wanted it.  There was however, one potentially large stumbling block in the path of her possible new life – she was terribly worried there had been a horrible mistake and she wasn't a witch at all.  After skimming through the encyclopaedia she had moved on to _180 Easy Tests and Quizzes_.  The test she had done had taken the form of a multiple-choice question; no pen and paper were required, as you simply touched the circle that corresponded with your answer.  

Half way through her first and only test, the pencil drawing of Theola Thrum that sat alongside the quiz, had begun to look very nervous.  As Lois had consistently given answers that clearly pointed towards her not being a witch, she had started to worry too. 

By the time she had reached the last question, Thrum had been looking awkward and shifty.  She had quickly waved her wand over the results box and scarpered sharply over onto the next page and out of sight.  Lois had watched the tiny witch vanish in consternation, before reluctantly looking down to see what had been revealed:  _Bad news – you're most likely a Squib.  Please try another test. _

After looking up the term "Squib" in the encyclopaedia, she had slammed shut Theola Thrum's book and had refused to look at it again.  Could this be it?  To have this wondrous possibility waved under her nose, only to have it snatched away at the last minute?  But then again, Dumbledore had said she had been invited to attend Hogwarts; they wouldn't have invited her if she was a Squib, would they?  Oh, how she wished she had stayed with Dumbledore to ask more questions, instead of scuttling off to her room like a frightened rabbit.

Just as the thought was running through her head, she heard a gentle tap at the door.  _Thank goodness, someone had come to fetch her!_  She leapt off the bed wrenching the door open to find Harry standing there beaming at her; his previously bruised and battered face unblemished.

'Harry!' she said in wonder.  'You're standing up!  What happened to your casts?  Does it hurt?' she asked rapidly, reaching over to run an assessing hand over his right arm.

Harry grinned wiggling his fingers and leg to show he was fine.  'Professor Dumbledore _did_ tell you that you were a witch didn't he?' he asked, amused by her amazement.  

'Magic did that?' she murmured, entranced.  'That's marvellous!  How long did it take?'  

'Well, Madam Pomfrey, she's our school matron, can heal a broken arm in a few minutes but it took Professor Dumbledore a _little_ longer.  Lois,' he said suddenly serious, 'I'm so glad you're a witch – isn't it fantastic?'

Lois gave him a half nervous, half excited look.  'I _think_ so.  It's just a lot to take in all at once.'

Harry grinned broadly. 'I know, but it's great having magic, Lois, you'll love it, honest!  Will you be able to stay at Hogwarts do you think?'

'I don't see how,' Lois said her face creasing in worry.  'Is there an adult version of Hogwarts, do you know?'

Harry shook his head doubtfully.  'I've never heard anyone mention it,' he said finally.  'If Hermione was here, she'd know.'

'It doesn't matter, I'm sure Professor Dumbledore will be able to tell me.'

Harry agreed, completely confident in Dumbledore's ability to solve problems such as this.  'Are you ready for lunch?' he asked and Lois nodded, eager to see the Headmaster again to ask him the million and one questions that she had occurred to her in the last few hours.

The journey to the Great Hall this afternoon wasn't the furtive dash they had taken that morning.  This time Harry strolled leisurely down the hallways, rhapsodising on the utter brilliance of magic and Hogwarts in general, with special attention given to Ron, Hermione and Quidditch.  All too soon they were back in the Entrance Hall and Lois felt her stomach roll over in nervous anticipation.  This was it – now she would find out once and for all whether her future belonged in this world or the Muggle.

Harry pushed open the door and she walked in, her eyes quickly assessing the room and finding it almost exactly the same as this morning.  This afternoon however, Professor McGonagall was missing from the small table and only Snape and Dumbledore sat there.

'Ah, Lois,' Dumbledore said standing. 'Are you feeling a little more calm now that you've had chance to let it all sink in?' he asked kindly.

'Calm isn't _precisely_ the word I'd use,' Lois said with a rueful laugh, 'but I'm getting there.'

'Miss Scott,' Snape said in his silken drawl as he politely stood also.  'Professor Dumbledore has informed me of your news – are congratulations or commiserations in order?' he asked with a mocking twist to his lips.

'I'm not entirely sure right now,' Lois replied, amused rather than offended by his sardonic query. 'Perhaps cautious congratulations with an option on commiseration further down the line?'  

Snape only nodded in response and pulled out a chair for her.  This time, she noticed, he made very sure no part of clothing came into contact with her skin.

'Where is Professor McGonagall?' Lois asked, worried that her non-appearance meant the other woman somehow disapproved of her being here.

'Unfortunately she has had to leave – she was hoping to be able to see you again before she left, but was unable to delay her departure any longer.  She has a number of personal matters to attend to before the new school term starts,' Dumbledore answered.

'Oh, I see,' Lois said reassured that her absence was unrelated.  'By the way, Professor Snape,' she said turning towards him. 'Now that I understand about all this, I wanted to apologise for being so rude to you when we first met.'  As she thought back to their initial meeting however, her reasons for apologising became less clear, and her rambling words reflected this. 'Although to be fair, you really _did_ seem to be up to no good and now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure it was you who was rude first,' she finished in a considering tone.

'I'm sorry, I think I must have misheard,' Snape said coldly.  'Did you say you wanted to apologise?'

Lois smiled slightly shamefaced.  'Yes, I think, "I'm sorry" were the words I was searching for there.' 

'Apology accepted.'  Snape inclined his head gracefully, but didn't make any attempt to do the decent thing and apologise in return, Lois noticed, annoyed.  She continued to stare at him, eyebrows raised in an encouraging manner and a half smile on her lips, all to no avail.  Snape looked merely puzzled by her long gaze and eventually turned away to pour himself a glass of water, but not before giving her the kind of wary look generally reserved for the very old or very simple.

Lois directed her attention back to Dumbledore, determined not to speak to Snape again.  'I've been reading the books you gave me Headmaster,' she said while helping herself to the delicious food, very surprised she could eat considering the enormous butterfly's currently circling her stomach. 

'Excellent, excellent.'  Dumbledore smiled.  'You have questions I assume?'

'Well, sort of,' Lois said in a nervous voice.  'I'm worried I might be a Squib.'

'Most certainly not,' the Headmaster answered firmly.  'You were clearly invited to attend Hogwarts; I have seen the paperwork myself.'

'That's good,' Lois said relieved, but still not completely convinced.  'In the books you lent me though Professor, they talked about children performing magic when they were exceptionally angry or upset.'

'True, that is the first clue to many Muggle-born witches and wizards'

'The thing is, that's never happened to me – unexplained things happening,' she elaborated when he looked at her blankly.

'Are you sure?'

'Well… yes.  I think I'd notice if I turned someone into a pumpkin during a temper tantrum.  And in any event isn't that rather dangerous – allowing me to just carry on obliviously?  What if I had done magic unknowingly and hurt someone,' she asked genuinely horrified by the possibilities.

'Well first of all,' Dumbledore began, 'Transfiguration is one of the most difficult areas of magic.  It is highly unlikely anyone without sufficient magical training would be able to perform that particular spell.  Secondly, although uncommon, there are those children from Muggle families who decide not to take up their invitations, so all the necessary safety precautions are already in place.'  

'What precautions?'  Lois asked curiously. 'Do they have their magic removed?'

'Oh my goodness me no,' Dumbledore said sounding slightly appalled.  'Magic is just as much a part of a person as any other body part.  Would you remove a child's hands if they did not wish to follow up on a natural aptitude for art?'

'Oh,' Lois said feeling slightly foolish.  'I suppose not.  What does happen then?'

'In cases like that, a very close eye will be kept on any reports of unauthorised magic and, if necessary, the Ministry does have the power to enforce attendance at a magical school.  In truth though, I don't think that has ever occurred,' Dumbledore said thoughtfully.  'Very few people turn their back on magic once it has been discovered, and for those that do, over time and without training, the ability to perform magic tends to dissipate.' 

'That still doesn't explain why I've never showed any magical ability though,' Lois said slowly.

'Well, Lois, I think the most likely answer is that you _did_ perform magic of some kind when you were much younger.  With your father's fear of losing you, and if I'm right about your inheriting your mother's empathic skills, you would have been very aware of how much the idea of your displaying magical ability would have caused him pain.  Even if you did not possess your mother's skills, you were still extremely close to your father – I imagine that alone would have caused you, even at such a young age, to have subconsciously repressed your magic for fear of distressing him further.' 

'Lois is empathic?'  Harry asked interested.

'Probably not,' Lois said hurriedly.  'Apparently my family was, but I don't think it was passed on to me.'  

'No, I think you could be, Lois,' Harry said thoughtfully.  'You used to make me feel better in the hospital.'

'Well that's my job, Harry, not to mention all the drugs; any of the staff could have done that.'

'No,' Harry insisted. 'Sometimes when I was feeling sick or in pain, your eyes got all "glowy" and when you touched me I felt better.'

_Glowy eyes?  _Lois thought worriedly_.  Great what was next, laser beams from the nostrils? _

'Maybe,' Lois said warily.  It was a big enough struggle to come to terms with being a witch without looking for anything else to worry about right at the moment.  'Headmaster, what happens now?' she asked deliberately changing the subject.  'Is there somewhere I can go to learn to be a witch at my age?'  

'I'm extremely glad you're thinking along those lines, Lois,' Dumbledore said in a pleased voice.  'Although with circumstances being what they are at the moment, I did hope to move things along a little quicker than that.'    

'What circumstances?'  Lois asked confused

'Voldemort's return.'  

'Voldemort's _alive?_' she asked in horror.  'But you said he'd been defeated!  In that book I read it said Harry had destroyed him.  When did he come back?' 

'At the end of last term,' Harry said painfully.  'They used my blood in a spell to bring him back to life.'

'Oh, Harry,' Lois said softly, her own panic subsiding on seeing his anguish. She reached over the table and placed her hand on his, giving it a briefly comforting squeeze before releasing him. 

'Now that Voldemort is fully alive I am afraid we are once again heading for dark times,' Dumbledore continued in a grim voice.  'I have been unable to convince the Ministry of Magic of the seriousness of the threat and it is therefore vitally important that we have every single witch and wizard we can get on our side.'

'Yes, I can understand that, but what could I do?' Lois said, genuinely perplexed. She was no witch; she couldn't help anyone in a war against this Voldemort, other than maybe distracting him for a second with her truly spectacular death.

'I do not expect this to be a short war, Lois, while you do not possess knowledge that could be of assistance yet, you will, given time.'  He stopped and gave Lois an encouraging smile.  'What I am suggesting is that you begin training as a mediwizard under the tutelage of our Hogwarts Matron, Madam Pomfrey.'

'Could I do that?'  Lois asked stunned.  'Don't I have to be a trained witch or something first?'

'Usually, yes,' Dumbledore agreed.  'But at your age you are obviously far too old to attend Hogwarts as a student and sadly no establishments exist to train adults in the fundamentals of witchcraft.'

Lois was surprised at how disappointed she was by that news.  Really, with Voldemort back to life, her best bet would be to return to the Muggle world and hope braver witches and wizards than she could defeat him.

'Of course,' the Headmaster continued, a twinkle in his eye, 'once you _are _here training with Poppy, you will have the experience of our professors at your full disposal, who I am sure, will be more than happy to offer their assistance.  With hard work and extra tuition, I'm certain you would be able to qualify as a witch in no time at all.'

'Even so,' Lois said doubtfully, 'it will take years before I'd be ready to begin training as a mediwizard if I have to qualify as a witch first.'

'Mediwizardry is a branch of magic all by itself,' Dumbledore said.  'Even a fully qualified witch or wizard would be starting from scratch if they decided to pursue a career in medical magic.  Obviously we would have to get permission from the Ministry first, but with your family and background in Muggle medicine, I'm certain they would not raise any objections.'

Lois was in a quandary.  On the one hand, this was the answer to all her questions about how she could remain in the magic world at her age with her lack of knowledge.  On the other, now that it was all being handed to her on a plate, she was afraid.  This was huge step and by the sounds of it, her family did not have a good track record where Voldemort was concerned.  She looked around the table and saw Dumbledore's calm gaze, Harry's hopeful one and Snape's disinterested expression; his black eyes though, she noticed, glittered strangely.

'I'll do it,' she said suddenly.

Harry whooped in delight 

Now that the decision was made, Lois immediately felt lighter than air, filled with a bubbling excitement for what the future held.  She knew that later the gnawing doubts and panic would set in, but for now there was only the blissful sensation of matters being completely out of her hands.  'I'll have to go home though,' she realised as real life intruded.  'There's my flat and my job – I can't just disappear.'

'Of course not,' Dumbledore agreed.

'Erm, how do I get home?  I'm assuming I'm not insane and I _did_ arrive here by spatula in the first place?' she asked raising her eyebrows at Snape, who nodded in return.  'So then,' she said dryly, 'will there be a five o'clock ladle to London, or maybe a six o'clock fish slice?'  

Dumbledore smiled. 'I'm sure you're not eager to repeat your last journey by Portkey just yet.  Tell me do you have an open fireplace in your home?'

'No,' Lois said confused. 'Not in my flat.  There's one at my dad's house though.'

'Do you have a tenant in residence at the moment?'  

'No.  The last one left six months ago and I haven't got round to finding a new one yet.'

'Perfect,' Dumbledore said with satisfaction.  'You can travel back to your father's house by Floo powder.  That way you will be able to examine your mother's belongings, which I believe you said were in the attic?'

'That sounds fine, except what's Floo powder?'

'Simply a method of transportation between locations using fireplaces.  Severus,' he said turning to the younger man on his right.  'Would you be so kind as to escort Lois on her journey?  Obviously she mustn't travel alone this first time.'

Lois looked hurriedly across at Snape's shuttered face.  She had no idea whether he was in a towering rage at the request or completely indifferent.  He would be an unbeatable poker player, she thought, a slight smile crossing her face. 

'Certainly, Headmaster,' Snape answered, without emotion.  'Will you be ready to leave after lunch?'  Snape asked addressing Lois direct. 'Or would you prefer to wait a while?'

'No, no whenever you're ready is fine with me,' Lois said, eager to get on with job of packing away her old life now that the decision had been made.

***

After briefly returning to her room to freshen up after lunch, Lois quickly made her way back to the Entrance Hall to meet Snape as arranged.  Finding him already waiting she smiled in greeting, before eyeing the black robes he was wearing with consternation; if they ran into anyone she knew while they were at her home, how on earth would she explain him?

'You can't wear those,' she said pointing to his robes, having decided even on their very short acquaintance that diplomacy was wasted on him.  

Snape looked down at himself slightly self-consciously, but answered firmly enough, 'I most certainly can.'

'What I meant was,' Lois continued determinedly, 'you're not _going_ to wear those are you?'

Snape sighed in a very put upon manner and waved his wand, leaving him instantly standing in front of her dressed in plain black trousers and a navy blue shirt, looking indistinguishable now from any one of London's thousands of office workers.  Lois was pleased to see that dressed in Muggle clothing Snape was not at all scrawny looking despite his thinness.  He was in fact lithe and leanly muscled she noticed appreciatively, as his shirt pulled taut while he twisted to place his wand securely in his back pocket. Pushing the distracting thoughts aside Lois focussed on Snape once more.

'Were you wearing those under your robes already?' she asked curiously and Snape nodded tersely in response.  'Oh,' she said surprised, 'I assumed you were pretty much, well "au naturel" under there.  You know,' she continued awkwardly, quailing under his hard eyed stare, 'with it being so long and covering you so completely.'  

'A matter of personal preference,' Snape answered unamused, but his neck, Lois noticed interestedly, was slowly turning a nice shade of brick red.  'Now if you have finished imagining me naked, shall we go?'

'I wasn't!'  Lois squeaked, but couldn't stop the amusement bubbling up inside her. 'Now I feel like a dirty old man,' she said, her voice trembling with suppressed laughter.  

Snape gave her a condescending look, not deigning to answer as he swept down the hallway ahead of her.  Lois trailed behind him like a naughty schoolgirl, her lips still twitching in amusement.

**^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^**

**A/N **Heather Granger – Thanks for the nice idea, but after having given myself huge headaches trying to work out the timescale, it wouldn't be possible now. Lois's mum died in 1972 and Snape would only have been around 12 or so then, which is probably a good thing because I may not have been able to resist having him involved in the murder and I don't know how I could convincingly have had Lois fall in love with someone who killed her mum - I'm no good at angst :)

Lila Mae - You've got it spot-on – congrats!

Snowdiamond – Yep, it's Snape and Lois

And thank you everyone for the enormously encouraging reviews – it's more exciting reading feedback than opening birthday presents!


	10. As One Door Closes

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**                                                                                                                   ~ 0 ~**

Lois stumbled out of the green flames into her father's living room, her legs trembling in shock.  'That was horrible,' she gasped as Snape's tall form appeared next to her.

'It takes some getting used to,' he allowed with a condescending air.

'Getting _used_ to?  I thought I was going to die!'

'Unlikely,' Snape mocked. 'The worst that could have happened is that you landed unannounced in some unsuspecting wizard's house.' 

'Well you never mentioned that before you pushed me in!'  Lois growled, her shaky legs giving out completely as she sank onto a low chair.

'I did not _push_ you,' he said disdainfully.

'Oh, I'm sorry,' Lois said, reviving enough to ask sarcastically, 'What would you call it then?'

'An encouraging tap.'  

'Yeah, yeah,' she groused.  'You might have _encouraged _me with a little more warning.  I think I swallowed a chimney full of soot.'  She coughed pathetically, glancing up from under her lashes to see if he was even slightly moved by her plight.  As she had expected, he was not looking at her at all, but was instead methodically examining the room he had landed in, his black eyes darting restlessly as he searched for hidden dangers.  Once every nook and cranny had been carefully scrutinised, he made his way back towards her, his approach utterly silent and vaguely intimidating as she stared up at him from her still seated position.

'We have no time to waste, Miss Scott,' he said silkily.  'The Floo connection is only temporary and if we do not hurry, it will be broken before we are finished.'

Lois bristled at his use of "Miss" when she knew he was fully aware that she had been married, but decided to let it go for now.  She didn't want to risk any unpleasantness over something that really wasn't that important.  Perhaps he didn't even realise he was doing it.  He always called Harry, Mr Potter or sometimes just Potter she remembered; maybe he was just one of those strangely formal types that you didn't meet very often anymore.

'Okay,' she said aloud, brushing away her irritation.  'I want to see if I can find my mum's things first and then I thought we'd go to my flat and get that closed up.  It's not too far, but we'll still need to catch a bus – it isn't really walking distance.  Perhaps a taxi,' she amended, seeing the appalled glare he shot her at the word "bus".  

Snape nodded impatiently, apparently satisfied with a taxi as a fitting means of transportation.  'Fine, fine.  Can we get a move on, do you think?'

'Certainly, do you want to help, or were you planning on standing here and grumbling?' she asked in a sweet voice.

He gave her a dark look before raising his arm in a sweepingly elegant gesture indicating she lead the way.

Arriving at the upstairs hallway, Lois quickly remembered that she wasn't tall enough to reach the trapdoor that led to the attic without either a chair to stand on, or a great deal of effort.  She was still on tiptoe, her arms outstretched painfully towards the dangling cord, when she felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle with awareness as Snape materialised behind her.  She lowered her arm and moved hastily away, feeling strangely awkward.  Luckily he didn't seem to notice her reaction and easily released the mechanism, allowing the steps to be lowered into the hall.  Lois clambered up into the dusty roof space ahead of him and immediately began moving boxes haphazardly out of her way.

Snape watched in disbelief for a moment before drawing her attention with a quiet cough. 'I think this might go _slightly_ quicker if we had some idea what we were searching for before we began,' he said reasonably. 

'I don't know what I'm looking for though,' Lois said not meeting his eyes.  'My dad just said that he'd kept my mother's things for me in the attic – it could be any of these.'  She said gesturing to the large number of boxes strewn across the room.

'Well if she was a witch, she would more than likely have used a wooden trunk to store her possessions in – do you know the type I mean?'  

'I think so, like a pirate's treasure chest?'

'Possibly,' Snape said, although he didn't look entirely sure.

'Okay,' Lois agreed finally looking at him for a second, before her gaze fluttered almost immediately away.  'I'll start at this end and you start over there,' she said pointing to the other side of the room.  'We should find it quicker that way.'  

Truthfully though, her reasons for moving him so far away were not purely to speed the search.  She was utterly embarrassed to realise that his closeness was having an unnerving affect on her.  Within the cramped confines of the attic there seemed to be very little oxygen available and she was intensely aware of his spicy, clean fragrance with every breath she took. Standing as close as they were at the minute, she could even feel the heat radiating from his hard body through the thin shirt he wore.  She didn't know what had gotten into her – Snape wasn't her type.  Not that she had a type exactly, but she couldn't imagine he was anyone's type with his surly manner and cutting remarks.  In the back of her mind she had been vaguely aware of his attractiveness since she had first met him. While she could see that he wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea, she rather liked his harsh, intelligent features and fathomless dark eyes, he looked mysterious she decided and that voice, good grief what would _that_ sound like mouthing sweet nothings instead of insults!

Even if he was tall, dark and just a few inches off handsome, these feelings were still something of a surprise; she hadn't been attracted to anyone since David had died.  The sudden crystal clear image of her husband was like an icy bucket of water to her heated thoughts.  There was no way she was ready to start a relationship and even if she were, it certainly wouldn't be with someone as difficult as Snape.  Emotions firmly under control once more Lois turned her attention back to her task, shooting a jealous look over at Snape who was moving his boxes far more easily than she using magic.

Had she but known it, right at that very minute Snape was battling similar difficulties in his corner of the attic.  Although he knew it was futile, he couldn't help but notice that Lois Scott was a very attractive woman.  Somewhat annoying with her constant chattering and highly personal questions, but attractive nonetheless.  Snape however, had no illusions about his own physical appearance and was well aware that someone who looked like she did, would never be interested in someone who looked like he did; he was very conscious of the fact that she had shied away from his touch on two separate occasions now.  Not that he _cared_ of course, he was firmly of the opinion that romantic relationships between people who worked together were doomed to failure from their inception, much like any other romantic relationship for that matter, he thought cynically.  

Then again, maybe the jumpiness she exhibited around him was a sign of attraction rather than revulsion?  If that were the case, who was he to turn her away if she should indicate that she would not be averse to forming some type of liaison?  He raised his head slightly and looked over at the cause of his unsettled mood; her head was bent as she examined the boxes, and even at this distance he could see her forehead was wrinkled slightly in concentration.  Her vanilla-blonde hair was still knotted at her nape as it had been at breakfast that morning, but strands of it had come loose during the journey by Floo powder and were curling charmingly around her face and neck.  Other than that she looked remarkably serene considering all that had happened since yesterday. Seeming to sense his stare she looked up and gave him a quick unselfconscious smile, bending almost immediately back to her work without a second glance.  

He cursed himself for his stupidity; of course she wasn't attracted to him, in fact she was probably only amusing herself, pretending to be open and friendly so that he would make a fool of himself by drooling after her.  Her type always did.  Not that it mattered, he reminded himself – let her carry on with her games, she wouldn't add him to her list of conquests.  He was very aware that for someone who apparently didn't care, he seemed to be giving the matter an awful lot of thought.   

Unaware of his dark imaginings, Lois risked another glance over at Snape pleased to see he was no longer glaring at her.  He had seemed annoyed about something – probably regretting agreeing to accompany her on this trip, she realised seeing his forbidding scowl.  

'I can't believe I haven't asked,' she called over to him in an effort to break the silence that had fallen.  'What do you teach at Hogwarts?'

'Potions.'

'Really?  Do you use a cauldron?' she asked, genuinely interested.

'Of course,' he said, impatiently, obviously considering her question foolish.  'I am also Head of Slytherin House.'

'I read about the Houses, there are four aren't there?'

'Yes; Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Slytherin and Ravenclaw.'

'Which one's Harry in?' she asked and heard dark mutterings in response. 'I'm sorry, what did you say?'  

'Gryffindor,' he spat.

'You seem young to be a Head of House,' Lois said, quickly changing the subject from what was obviously a sore point for Snape.  She saw his head snap up sharply from the box he was moving and watched surprised as he glared at her suspiciously.  Once he seemed satisfied that there was no criticism implied he nodded shortly.  

'Unsurprisingly there are very few professors willing to accept the position of Head of Slytherin.  That is not to say,' he added arrogantly. 'That I am not eminently qualified for the job, but you are correct – I am younger than most.'  

'Why doesn't anyone want to be Head of Slytherin?'  Lois asked, confused; she hadn't read any mention of that in the book.

'Because nearly every witch or wizard who went over to the dark side was a former Slytherin, even with the fall of the Dark Lord it still retains something of a – reputation,' he said delicately. 

'Did you go to Hogwarts?'  Lois questioned warily.

'Yes.'

'And what House were you in?' she asked, already knowing the answer from the expression on his face.

'Slytherin.'

'Oh.  What do you…' Her question ground to a halt as she called out excitedly, 'I think I've found it!  Come and look.'

Snape hurried to her side, reaching over her bent body to lift the trunk out of her hands before she broke something in the effort.  

'We're going to struggle getting that down the stairs,' Lois said, shooting him a thankful glance as he pulled the heavy trunk out from the corner it was wedged in.

Snape looked down his nose at her and drew his wand, waggling it in front of her face in a mocking manner. 

'Oh,' she smiled, unembarrassed.  'I forgot.'

Lois watched impressed as Snape waved his wand and the heavy trunk lifted into the air as though it was filled with helium.  He walked back to the stairs, the trunk floating lazily along behind him, politely allowing Lois to clamber down the steps ahead of him.

'It must be really easy for you magical folks to get fat and lazy,' Lois murmured from his side as the two of them watched the heavy trunk glide easily down the steps.  'Although I see you've managed to avoid that pitfall pretty well,' she said reaching out to pinch his spare waist through his shirt.

'I beg your pardon!'  Snape said in an offended tone, backing away from her small hand.

Lois only smiled at his obvious shock at her actions.  In truth she was a very tactile person by nature.  To her, talking meant touching, hugs were offered freely and without embarrassment and she simply could not walk with a friend without linking arms. Although her playful pinch had been instinctive Lois had, for once, thought first before she reached out, recognising that Snape was an intensely reserved man, plainly not comfortable with casual touches.  She had immediately decided however, that that was all the more reason not to deny her true nature, no one should be as aloof as he was – it wasn't healthy.

'Sorry,' she said untruthfully.

Snape glared down at her, trying hard to appear disapproving.  It wasn't easy with her face grinning charmingly up at him and his side still tingling warmly from her touch.  His recent and very firmly made resolution, he realised worriedly, was already beginning to develop alarming cracks.

Lois nudged him back to awareness as the trunk still floated forgotten in front of them.  With a muttered cure he lowered it to the floor and Lois pounced on it the instant it was still.   She struggled for a moment with the heavy front fastening, which luckily was not locked.  It gave way with a loud creak and she hesitated for a second before taking a deep breath and pushing the lid open.

The first thing she saw was yards of material, which on closer inspection appeared to be robes similar to the types she had seen everyone in Hogwarts wearing.  She pulled them hurriedly out of the way and rummaged through the trunk for more interesting items.  

She immediately found what she was looking for in the form of a large bundle of photographs, held together with a ribbon. She pulled apart the bow eagerly and looked down at the faces smiling back at her.  Tears filled her eyes as she realised these were obviously magical photos.  Gazing at them, she understood now why her father had so few pictures of the women he had so plainly adored; the majority of their early married life had obviously been captured using a wizard camera and was therefore unsuitable to show an unknowing Lois.  She dashed the wetness from her eyes as she saw with delight her mother's animated features for the first time; she was standing next to her father, both looking extremely happy waving and laughing for the photo.  

Thumbing quickly through the thick pile, she came to a stop when she reached another family portrait, this one obviously after her birth as an older man, still tall and strong with a shock of pure white hair, held a tiny baby in his arms.  On his left stood her mother and father and on his right a man she assumed must be her uncle Niall.  The next photograph showed the whole family again, this time with her mother and uncle standing together, Niall's arm draped over his twin's shoulder.  They both appeared a little taller than Lois, Niall slim and slight for a man, horn-rimmed spectacles perched on his nose and a bashful grin on his face.  Both her mother and uncle shared her pale colouring and blue eyes, but other than that she couldn't really make out many similarities, she realised with regret.  The white-haired man, who must be her grandfather, towered sternly over his children in the picture, while she lay snuggled securely in her father's arms, her tiny fists waving merrily.  Lois gave a half laugh as she recognised her father's proud smile on his much younger face and wished desperately that he had shared these memories with her when he had been alive.

'We really haven't got much time, Miss Scott,' Snape repeated his earlier warning, but this time his voice was softer and if it had been anyone but him, she would have said sympathetic.

'I know,' Lois said, sniffing, and placed the photographs carefully back in the trunk for closer examination later.  Rifling quickly through the rest of the chest's contents she saw what could only be her mother's wand.  'Ooooh,' she breathed, turning to Snape.  'Will I be able to use this?' 

'It will work, but not as well as a wand chosen by you,' he warned.  'Well?  What are you waiting for?' he said impatiently when she hesitated, her fingers inches from touching the wood. 'Pick it up.'

Lois warily grasped the wand, noticing as she did so the warmth that prickled through her fingers and ran up her arm.  She let out a small gasp as golden sparks showered from the wand tip.  She looked up at Snape, startled. 'Is that good or bad?'

Snape hesitated for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face.  'Good.  It probably suits you a little better than a borrowed wand generally would, because it belonged to your mother,' he explained at her questioning glance.

Lois placed the wand cautiously back in the trunk, not yet entirely comfortable with it, and was about to put the robes back on top when she saw a small wooden box sitting in the corner half hidden under a pile of books.  On closer examination, the wood appeared to be completely seamless, with no obvious catch or lock to open it.  She stared at it puzzled for a second before Snape's hand reached over to take it from her.  Drawing his wand he muttered, '_Alohomora._' and she heard a hidden catch click, as the small box sprung open.  With distracted thanks, Lois peered curiously inside, immediately recognising what had obviously been her mother's jewellery box as she pulled out a pretty necklace and some rings.

One of the rings in particular drew her attention and she lifted it clear of the box for a closer inspection.  It seemed old – the simple band of gold very yellow and gleaming dully.  As she twisted it in her fingers she saw that it was in fact two rings, the second a hidden inner ring, which rotated out, but remained joined when she pushed it.  Lifting it towards her, she noticed a faint inscription inside.  Turning the ring from side to side she could just make out the words:  on one side, were her mother and father's initials intertwined and on the other was written "_Neither thee without me, nor me without thee_."  This must have been her mother's wedding ring, Lois realised and let out a soft sigh, lost in the romance of the love they had shared.

Her father had never really recovered from the death of her mother.  Not that he had been unhappy, but he had never found anyone who even came close to taking her place.  She wondered bleakly if that was what the future held for her – living alone clinging desperately to fading memories of a long lost love until death finally reunited them.  A sudden cold chill gripped her, causing her to shiver at the thought of such a lonely existence

Snape made a questioning noise and she started in surprise, dragged from her depressing thoughts.  She passed the ring to him automatically and watched as he read the inscription.  'Charming sentiment,' he muttered, but without his normal sarcastic edge.  He handed the ring carefully back and Lois replaced it in the box, quickly repacking the trunk, aware time was ticking away.

The short journey to the taxi rank was accomplished without incident and they were soon at her flat.  Lois unlocked the door and stepped inside, feeling as though she hadn't been here for a hundred years.  She waited patiently while Snape again examined the room he found himself in and then said, 'Look, Professor, would you mind awfully if I dash off and get changed?  I've been wearing these clothes since yesterday.' She pulled at the modest dress she had worn to visit the Dursleys', with distaste.  Not giving him time to object, Lois trotted to her bedroom quickly stripping out of the tailored dress, which she usually reserved for church due to its plain lines and dark colour, no longer suitable now of course that it was such a vivid gold.  After a hurried shower, she dragged on a pair of jeans and teamed it with a soft t-shirt in deep blue.  Pushing her feet into socks and trainers, she was ready.

She was back in less than fifteen minutes feeling enormously better for the shower and change of clothes.  Her long hair was tied in a high ponytail and bobbed behind her as she walked.  She found Snape where she had left him leafing through one of her books.  'Do you want a drink?' she asked in attempt to be polite.  

'The time, Miss Scott.' he reminded caustically, shaking his head.

Lois bit back an angry retort, annoyed at his unfriendly manner and use of "Miss" again and headed back to her bedroom to cram her belongings into a suitcase without another word.  It was depressingly easy to tie up the loose threads of her old life and with quick letters to the hospital citing personal reasons for not returning, and to her landlord and bank to ensure her rent continued to be paid, she was done.  She would write to the few friends who would miss her once she was actually at Hogwarts and had more time.

She dragged the heavy suitcase back into the living room, unaware as she did so that her t-shirt had ridden up slightly with the effort.  She only realised what had happened, when she caught Snape staring from under lowered brows at the smooth expanse of toned midriff that had been revealed when she twisted.  'Oops,' she muttered embarrassed pulling it firmly back into place.  _Damn, had she offended him?_  Everyone she had met from the magical world so far certainly seemed to keep themselves exceptionally well covered – perhaps the sight of bare flesh was a huge no-no.   

'Are these clothes not suitable for Hogwarts?' she asked anxiously.

'They are perfectly adequate,' he answered, a rough edge to his voice she didn't notice in her worry about her state of dress. 

'They're not are they?' Lois said, not wanting to stand out any more than she already would.  'Do witches normally only wear robes?'

'For the main, but nowadays I've noticed most children, and especially those who are Muggle-born, wear Muggle clothing out of school'

'I _should_ wear robes though, shouldn't I?  If I'm going to be at Hogwarts, I mean,' Lois murmured despondently, suddenly very aware of how ignorant she was about even the most basic aspects of the wizarding world.  

'There is a town near to the castle, Hogsmeade – you will be able to buy robes from there,' Snape said shortly.

'Oh, good,' Lois said relieved.  'Well, that's me done, I just need to throw away the food in the kitchen and we can go.' 

The trip to her father's house was uneventful and before she knew it she was standing back in the small room in Hogwarts they had begun their journey from, her stomach rolling queasily from the Floo powder.  She grasped the wall panting slightly as Snape appeared through the flames holding her magically lightened case and her mother's trunk.

'Thanks for bringing those for me,' Lois said gratefully.  'I don't think I could have held them and made it here in one piece.'

He waved away her thanks brusquely, obviously keen to bring his association with her to an end.  'I'll help you carry them to your room.  I don't know where Dumbledore intends you to be permanently, but for now it will do.'

_Permanently_.  The word echoed ominously in her mind as Lois trailed miserably along behind him.  His bad temper was causing her own fragile mood to plummet and ready doubts to crowd in as the enormity of the decision she had made so quickly came crashing down on her.  What had she been thinking?  She was going to give up her whole life and live in a _magical castle?_  _Oh, God, she had made a hideous mistake!_

She stopped, panic suddenly overwhelming her.  'I've changed my mind,' she almost whispered, but he heard and immediately turned to look at her, lowering the floating trunk to the ground, an impatient scowl marring his features.

'What?'  

'I've changed my mind,' she repeated.  'This was a mistake.  I want to go home.'  The last words were spoken in a lost voice, her face pale and scared.

'What do you mean; you've changed your mind?  I have just wasted the better part of an afternoon playing nursemaid to you.  Dumbledore has probably already contacted the Ministry to arrange for your training to be approved, and Professor McGonagall had to delay her own plans in order to track down how you came to slip through the net in the first place, and now you've _changed your mind_?'  His voice rose angrily towards the end of his speech and she stared up at him, understanding for the first time why Harry always treated him so cautiously.

'It's no good shouting,' she murmured weakly, feeling an icy numbness spread through her body.  'I'm not doing this to annoy you, I've just realised that I've made a mistake.  You can't make me stay here,' she said, her tone unconsciously pleading. 

'As a matter of fact, I imagine we very easily could.'  Snape advanced on her, his footfalls almost silent even on the rough stone floor.  'I have just watched you post letters explaining your disappearance to your friends and colleagues, so no one will be looking for you and even if they were, this is the very last place on earth anyone would think to look.'  Lois gulped nervously as he impaled her with a coldly glittering gaze.  'That is of course, if Muggles were able to see the castle, which they are not,' he finished in a grimly satisfied tone.

Lois stepped away from him, inexplicably afraid of the dark menace in his voice before her fighting spirit kicked in and she straightened to her full height, glaring back at him, suddenly as angry as he.  'You don't scare me,' she said bravely if not entirely truthfully; he was a wizard after all.  He could change her into a toad and no one would ever know.  She wondered vaguely what flies tasted like.  

'Don't I?' he asked with silky menace, bending until his face was only inches from hers.

'No,' she said firmly meeting his eyes, her brief panic attack over.  And as suddenly as a light switching off, the threat seemed to vanish from him and she was left standing with the same bad tempered, but not frightening, man she has spent the day with.  

'Then I am confused,' he said in a reasonable tone, backing away slightly to allow a comfortable distance between them once more.  'You are not afraid of me, or presumably the castle and a very short while ago, if I am not mistaken, you were eager to begin exploring your heritage.'

'I was, but now I don't know…' Lois trailed off, not certain anymore what she wanted.

'I would suggest that this is simply a case of last minute nerves; you are feeling understandably out of your depth and unsure as to whether this is the right decision,' he said in a calm voice, picking her case back up.  'After a good night's sleep, you will soon realise that it would be the height of folly to turn your back on something this important because of a momentary lapse of confidence.'  

Lois felt the warmth begin to invade her chilled limbs again, realising with irritation that he was probably right.  She shot him a resentful glare and nodded grumpily.  'Okay, but if I'm still not happy in the morning, I'm going home!'  

'But of course,' Snape said congenially, seemingly pleased with his victory.  'Who suggested otherwise?'

Lois made a scornful sound and snatched her suitcase from him haughtily, the effect somewhat ruined by the fact that she almost fell once the full weight of it rested in her arms; apparently the bags were no longer magically lightened.

She whipped her head to the left searching for any trace of amusement on Snape's features, but found them studiously blank.  She watched him suspiciously for a moment before lifting the heavy luggage and marching as best as she could down the corridor, the awkward distribution of weight unfortunately making her walk resemble a duck's waddle, and Snape to have to bite back his laugher at the sight.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N** The inscription from the ring apparently comes from Marie de France and in the original French is: 'Ni vous sans moi, ni moi sans vous.' - I have a ring just like it but in patterned silver not gold.

SailorWade – Niall is the Irish form of Neil and is pronounced NEE-al, and in case anyone wondered Niahm is pronounced NEE-uv. I chose her name because Niahm was a Celtic goddess of beauty and brightness who helped heroes at death.


	11. But Westward, Look, the Land is Bright

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**                                                                                                                   ~ 0 ~**

Harry guided Lois down the dark dungeon steps to Snape's classroom.  As Dumbledore and Snape were currently the only professors in the castle, her crash course in witchcraft would begin with Potions.   She had spent the morning with Harry running through his first year Potions book, _Magical Drafts and Potions_, in the hopes of not looking like a total idiot in front of Snape.  She doubted that that was a feat she would be able to pull off. 

Lois had been at Hogwarts for five days now and had spent most of it acclimatising to her surroundings; in a surprising short amount of time she was already beginning to feel as if she belonged there.  She had been allocated larger chambers up on the same floor as the hospital wing and was now comfortably settled into her new accommodation.  She only wished she was as comfortable with her fellow companions, or rather with one companion in particular; Snape was almost as unfriendly now as he had been at their first meeting.  They generally only saw each other at mealtimes and Lois had tried her hardest during those occasions not to antagonise him further; she suspected her chattering annoyed him because she would often look up from her food or a conversation with Harry, to find his dark glance on her, his brows lowered in a deep scowl.  

She had done her best to be pleasant towards him, but her efforts had been met with a polite aloofness that she could not break through.  The most puzzling aspect however, was not Snape's coolness, but that she persisted in trying to befriend him.  She was no fool and generally would have cut her losses long before now and accepted that he wanted nothing to do with her.  For some perverse reason though, she seemed to have become slightly obsessed with winning him over. 

Given his very private nature, nothing gave her greater pleasure than when he forgot to be distant and actually participated in the normally one-sided chats she initiated during meals.  She had the most success at breakfast; Harry was not an early riser and Dumbledore was frequently absent from the castle, consequently she would very often find herself alone with Snape for most of the meal.  During those times he seemed more relaxed and if not exactly encouraging, he did allow her to chatter on with an almost indulgent expression on his face.  As soon as Harry or Dumbledore arrived however, he reverted to his usual laconic manner and generally excused himself soon after.  As she had not had the opportunity to observe him around many other people, she wasn't sure if it were her in particular he objected to, or if he was just naturally reserved.   

If in fact Snape did dislike her though, it was nothing compared to how much the caretaker, Argus Filch, despised her.  After having her circumstances explained to him, he seemed to take it as a personal affront that she had let perfectly good magic lie idle for the past twenty-five years and had been surly and rude from their first meeting.  Harry had explained that Filch actually _was_ the Squib she had suspected herself of being and was highly self-conscious because of it.  His hatred for the students within the school was legendary, but Harry admitted he was generally fawningly pleasant to the Professors.  Lois supposed as she knew less about magic than a first year and didn't even hold the title of Professor, he considered her fair game.  

To make matters worse, Harry had taken Lois on a sightseeing tour of Hogwarts grounds the day after she arrived.  Unfortunately, there had obviously been heavy rainfall the previous night and after a very waterlogged jaunt around the Quidditch pitch and lake, they had been forced to beat a hasty retreat back to the castle to avoid a sudden downpour.  In their haste to dry off, neither of them had noticed the mud they were tracking practically from the entrance hall to the Infirmary floor and Gryffindor common room.  Although he hadn't actually witnessed them committing the crime, in a virtually empty castle there were very few likely culprits.  His accusing glare when he spotted Lois later that afternoon while he mopped the staircase had made her rush to apologise guiltily.  She had actually offered to clean the mess herself but he had refused all assistance, muttering angrily about "annoying little upstarts" and "preferential treatment", which Lois had pretended not to hear.  

However, the straw that truly broke the camel's back, as far as the old caretaker was concerned, was that his cat, Mrs Norris, had apparently taken somewhat of a liking to Lois.  Filch had happened across the two of them on her third day in the castle.  Lois, thinking it a stray, had been feeding the scrawny animal scraps of bacon from the breakfast table, when she heard a bellowing shout from across the Great Hall.  

'What do you think you're doing to my precious?'  Filch yelled, advancing threateningly on Lois.  

'Nothing,' she gasped in surprise, startled by the loathing on his face.

'Mr Filch,' Snape said quietly, a hard edge to his voice as he appeared silently in the room unnoticed by either of them.  'Is there a problem?'

Filch flinched at the coldness of the question, but turned swiftly to face Snape, the angry look he had been wearing, quickly replaced by one of innocent appeal as he said in an obsequious voice, 'Of course not, Professor Snape, I was just about to explain to the – girl, that Mrs Norris isn't allowed any food that's not provided by me.  If she gets used to eating from strangers, who knows what poisons those little brats would be slipping into tasty treats for her.'

'I'm sorry,' Lois said.  'I didn't know she belonged to anyone, she looked so thin and scraggly I assumed she was a stray…' she trailed off hastily seeing the furious expression on Filch's face at this insult to his beloved cat.

'As you can see, Filch,' Snape interrupted before the caretaker could begin the tirade that had obviously been brewing, 'Miss Scott had no intention of harming your creature.'

'Yes, well,' he muttered. 'It'd be in her best interests to learn not to mess with things that don't concern her.  A castle like this, who knows what she could be getting into,' he said with an unpleasant rasping laugh.

'Quite,' Snape snapped, and Filch silenced abruptly, turning on his heal with a small bow and a muttered, 'Professor,' to Snape, before heading out of the room, Mrs Norris trotting along behind him shooting furtive glances at the full bacon plate as she left.

'He doesn't seem to like me,' Lois said, letting out a relieved sigh at his departure, immensely grateful for Snape's intervention.  

'You seem surprised,' Snape said, his eyebrows raised mockingly.  'Does _everyone_ you meet usually like you?'

'Of course not,' Lois said impatiently.  One minute he was protecting her and the next he was attacking her, she really never knew where she was with him.  'But generally I've done something to deserve it.'

'Poor Miss Scott,' Snape said scathingly  'Only three days into your new career and you've already made an enemy.'

'Just one?'  Lois asked sarcastically, still bristling at his constant use of _Miss_ Scott.

Snape straightened looking down at her coldly.  'And what does that mean?'

'I can't help but notice that you don't seem very keen on my being here.'

'Then you would be mistaken,' he said curtly.  'I have no strong opinion either way as to your arrival at Hogwarts.'

'Oh,' Lois murmured strangely hurt by his indifference.  'I must have been mistaken then.'

Snape sighed heavily at her wounded expression and had just opened his mouth to speak when Harry arrived in the Hall.  

'Morning, Lois,' he chirped.  'Good morning, Professor Snape,' he continued in a significantly less friendly tone.

'Potter,' Snape acknowledge the greeting coldly.  Harry sat quickly down next to Lois not meeting Snape's eyes. 'If you will excuse me,' Snape said with a nod to Lois. 

'Aren't you going to have any breakfast?'  Lois asked surprised.  

'I have already eaten.  Unlike some people I have much work to be getting on with and cannot spend the better part of the morning lazing in bed,' he said with a pointed glare at Harry.

'That's the best part of school holidays!'  Lois yelped, scandalised.  'Staying up late and not having to worry about what time you have to get up the next morning.'  She grinned at Harry.  With Dumbledore's permission, the two of them had spent most of the previous night in the Atronomy Tower while Harry showed her how to use the telescopes.  In fact, Lois would have enjoyed another hour in bed herself that morning, but she had been woken early by Peeves clattering noisily outside her chamber door followed by Filch's angry bellow seconds later.  She wondered idly if either of them ever slept.

Snape made an impatient huffing noise at her defence of Harry and departed the room without another word.

***

Harry stopped at the bottom of a long staircase and Lois snapped back to the present to look at him.  'Is this it?' she asked in a nervous voice.

'Yeah,' Harry said sympathetically.  'That big door on the left's his classroom.'

Lois hesitated and Harry gave her an encouraging nudge.  'Go on, he doesn't like it if you're late.'

Lois nodded screwing her courage together.  She had a lot riding on this; she was hoping a stellar performance in Potions would soften Snape's attitude towards her.  _Please let it go well,_ she prayed silently to whoever was listening in.  She straightened her shoulders in determination and taking a deep breath, headed towards the classroom door.

'Good luck,' Harry called and Lois shot him a weak grin of thanks.

She tapped on the large door and pushed it open, carrying the borrowed potion equipment Harry had lent her.  

'Hello, Professor Snape.'   

'Miss Scott.'  Snape inclined his head.  'Very nearly late.'

'But not _actually_ late,' Lois said determined not to let him bully her.  She might be as ignorant as a schoolgirl as far as magic was concerned, but she was a grown woman and she wouldn't allow him to treat her otherwise.  Which brought her to another point.  'I've been thinking,' she said cautiously and winced as he raised his eyes skyward in anticipation.

'Please continue,' he said as she ground to a halt.  'I wouldn't want to be deprived of whatever pearl of wisdom you are about to honour me with.' 

Lois ignored his sarcasm, her mind fully occupied with getting her memorised speech out without making a mistake.  'Yes, well I've been _thinking_ that this Professor business seems a bit silly and I was wondering if I might just call you Severus instead,' she finished in a rush.  Good grief, she thought exasperatedly as she felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment, anyone would think she had asked him to father her child, not to simply use his first name!

His face stiffened and for a moment Lois thought he was about to order her from the classroom for her impertinence, but just as she was hurriedly considering an apology, he released her from his glittering gaze and said distantly, 'As you wish.'

Lois sighed in relief, glad that hurdle was over – he was such a prickly devil, she really never knew how he would react.

Snape began the lesson with what she assumed was an oft repeated first year speech, which, quite frankly had been slightly alarming – there seemed to be an awful lot of accidents that could befall the incautious wizard in Potions class and most of them had a very unpleasant ending.  Thankfully after the warnings came the good stuff.  She was actually looking forward to making a number of the potions he mentioned and was particularly intrigued by Bottled Beauty Untold, but it seemed frivolous to ask to start with that one, so she had settled instead on trying to look intelligent and making copious notes.  

Bearing in mind her upcoming training he would mainly concentrate, he said, on the medical side of potion making.  Although it was possible to buy any potion you might need, a mediwizard with sufficient skill to brew their own supplies had a distinct advantage.  That seemed reasonable enough to Lois and her nervousness started to fade as she was filled with enthusiasm for her task. 

The lesson, unfortunately, went downhill from there.  Although Lois could have sworn she'd carried out his instructions to the letter, her very first potion – a basic Fever Reliever Draught – was most definitely not the shimmering sky blue it was supposed to be.  Snape had left the room minutes earlier to collect ingredients from his private stores for something he was working on himself, and had left Lois to carefully time the addition of the final ingredient, Dumosus leaf oil, which was then to be immediately stirred twice, counter clockwise.  She was starting to worry now that she may have stirred the mixture clockwise instead.  

She had actually been doing fine with the potion and had just been about to carry out the final task correctly, when a movement out of the corner of her eye had distracted her, but when she had turned to look, there had been no one there.  

What was there however, was some sort of pickled animal in a large jar.  It looked like nothing she had ever seen before and while she wasn't particularly squeamish about such things, even she couldn't help but be surprised when the creature had blinked at her.  She had given a frightened yell and backed hurriedly away, realising with worry as she did so that the cauldron was making a strange gurgling sound.  With his recent dark warnings of death and deformity ringing in her ears, Lois hastily decided that whatever the potion was doing was probably more dangerous than whatever the contents of the specimen jar was doing.  That single thought uppermost in her mind, she hurried back to the cauldron quickly stirring the mixture the required number of times and backing away again towards the door, keeping a wary eye on the glass jar on the shelf the entire time.

Luckily, not long after that, Snape had returned and Lois didn't think she'd ever been so glad to see anyone before in her life.  'Severus,' she breathed gratefully, pointing nervously to the shelf above them. 'I think there's something alive in that jar.' 

Snape twisted his head briefly in the direction she was pointing, before turning back to face her with a long-suffering sigh.  'Simply a Pavonicus Pod.  It is not alive, Miss Scott, and in fact strictly speaking never was – the movements you witnessed are the seeds reactions to sound and heat evolved to dissuade hungry animals from eating it.'

'Oh,' she muttered feeling foolish.  After everything she had seen since she arrived at Hogwarts _why_ had she gone to pieces over a couple of staring eyes?  _Razor sharp teeth_ she scolded herself – that's when you panicked.  'There's a problem with my potion too,' she added quickly as he went to return to his desk. 

'A problem?'

'I may have, inadvertently, stirred the mixture the wrong way when the pod blinked,' she admitted dejectedly, noticing out the corner of her eye her potion was now a sickly green colour.

He moved over to the cauldron stirring the gloopy mixture with distaste for a second, before turning away and placing the pewter spoon on the desk.  'It is beyond saving,' he said with a twist of his lips.  'You may as well leave it at that for today, you can try again tomorrow.  Maybe you will have better luck then.'  The tone of his voice made it obvious he found the likelihood highly doubtful.

Lois turned miserably away, aware she had well and truly messed up her big plan to impress him, although why she was even bothering at this point was beyond her. As she packed up her equipment, her despondent mood gradually changed to one of annoyance.  This was her first lesson and naturally she was nervous.  Would it have killed him to try and reassure her about what had happened, or better still, not abandon her halfway through the class without warning her about evil prying pod eyes?  Ever since they had met, he had done nothing but mock and make snide comments and she was well and truly sick of it.  Well that was it, she had done her best to be friendly and cheerful company to be around and if he wouldn't make the slightest effort she wasn't going to either; he could go ahead and rot in his lousy dungeon for all she cared.  Belongings gathered, she stalked silently to the door, still in a state of high dudgeon when his voice called her back.

'Miss Scott?' he said in his mocking drawl.  'Please make sure you are not late tomorrow, you may have time enough to waste but I do not.'

Lois's temper finally snapped at this and she rounded on him, her eyes glinting furiously.  'My name, Severus, is Lois and since we will be working together from now on, I would prefer that you use it.  If, however, you can't manage something so pleasant as addressing me by my first name, you may call me _Mrs _Scott,' she finished, her voice dripping with ice.

His face tightened at her words, but he quickly wiped all emotion from his face to sneer, 'Very well, please forgive my formality.' He waited a beat until she turned away before adding softly, '_Achelois_.'

She swung furiously back to face him, a hot retort on her lips at his use of that despised name, only for the angry words to remain unsaid as she saw the expectant gleam in his dark eyes, like a naughty toddler misbehaving and gleefully awaiting the attention such an act would bring.

Her anger drained almost immediately away to be replaced with a feeling alarmingly of fondness.  He really was the most dreadful, foul natured, argumentative creature she had ever come across.  Nevertheless, looking at him now she was suddenly struck by the thought that a large part of his unpleasant demeanour was a safety device, very effectively used to prevent anyone from getting too close.  Whether it was intentional on his part or not was another matter entirely; she guessed even he wasn't fully aware of quite how unapproachable he made himself.  

If she had viewed his behaviour and actions in a child, she would have considered them the result of being denied a healthy, loving relationship.  With someone of his age, who knew what might have happened in his past to make him act the way he did.  He genuinely didn't seem capable of dealing with people with anything other than baiting, mockery or coldness.  She supposed that that could be all there was to him; perhaps his prickly shell hid nothing underneath other than a selfish, cruel man, but somehow she rather thought that was not the case.  Anyway, at this stage did it really matter?  All the hypothesising in the world would accomplish nothing.  The important point was that if she genuinely wanted to dig a little deeper and befriend him, she could see now it was going to be hard work and most, if not all of the effort, would be hers; Snape had obviously spent far too many years building his defences and they were practically impenetrable by now.

She sighed deeply, not at all sure this was a good idea and retraced her steps towards him, dumping her supplies on the desk and turning to face him, the anger completely gone from her face.  When her eyes lifted to meet his, she found him watching her carefully, obviously wary of her abrupt mood change.

'Severus,' she said firmly. 'I think perhaps you and I got off on the wrong foot right from the start.'

'The circumstances of our initial meeting were somewhat _unusual_,' he agreed guardedly. 'But I fail to see how it has any relevance on our current relationship.'

'That's precisely the problem - we don't _have_ a relationship, it's basically a series of little digs and smart remarks followed by a strategic retreat to regroup before starting all over again.'

'You make it sound as though we're at war,' he scorned.

'We're not far off, pal, trust me,' Lois said pugnaciously, before taking a deep calming breath – letting him rile her would accomplish nothing.  'All right,' she said in a more reasonable tone, 'I don't want to be at constant loggerheads with you – I don't work well in that sort of atmosphere and frankly, even if it didn't affect me, why would we want to be endlessly bickering anyway?' she asked with a bewildered lift of her shoulders; while she had no problem standing up for herself when necessary, she certainly wasn't the type of person who thrived on conflict.

'What do you propose?' he asked simply, not disputing her words.

'Well it seems to me that in a job like this, it's important to be on good terms with your colleagues.  After all, living here nearly all year round, it's not like we can all head home after work to escape from each other.'

'Do you have a point?' he asked his patience obviously wearing thin.

'My _point,_ Severus,' she said, beginning to grow angry again. 'Is that I had hoped that we could be friends, but you're making that really difficult at the moment.'

He seemed startled by her words for a second, but when he spoke he was as distant as ever.  'While I agree for the smooth running of the school it is essential that the staff, at the very least, observe a semblance of mutual respect for each other, I have never seen the need, nor the possibility for such a diverse group of people to become _friends._  However, I see no reason why we cannot maintain a professional relationship that will not cause you undue distress.  If you feel I am making that impossible then I apologise,' he finished stiffly.

'Why can't we be friends?' Lois asked, having fully expected this response, but surprisingly still slightly hurt nonetheless. 'I'm not _that_ annoying am I?'

'In truth?  No more so that the majority of people, it is simply that within Hogwarts I do not generally have a reputation for being particularly sociable with my fellow professors,' his voice lacked any emotion; the very absence of it cutting Lois deeper than self-pitying floods of tears would have in another person.   

'I agree you can't possibly hit it off with everyone you work with,' she said, carefully making no comment on his statement, 'but since I arrived here, out of the four people I've met, one has disappeared without trace, another one I've barely seen and Filch seems to find me as pleasant as scrubbing toilets.  That just leaves you Severus and you're not exactly bowled over by me.  I'm starting to get a complex,' she said with a half smile, not meaning it.  'Look, all I'm saying is that it would be nice to have at least one colleague who can stand to be around me in case the next batch of introductions goes as badly.'  Somewhere in the back of her mind Lois was aware that it was madness to be so obsessed with trying to make a man she barely knew like her, after all, she hadn't worried overly about Filch's animosity.

Snape smiled very slightly at her remark before seeming to stiffen and draw away from her, although in actuality he didn't move an inch.  'Nevertheless, I am not friend material and if you persist in trying to make me one, you will do your reputation within the school no good.  As I am sure Mr Potter has already informed you, the majority of the students despise me and the other half fear me.  Not only that, the first impression you will make on the other professors will be as a cohort of mine and while they do not hold me is such low esteem as the children, you will quickly realise that any relationship with me will reflect on you.  Given all that would you perhaps now like to reconsider?' he asked, a mocking slant to his lips. 

Lois sucked in a breath in annoyance.  'I am not so shallow that I allow the opinions of others make my decisions for me, Severus.'

'It was not my intention to suggest that you did, I was simply forewarning you of the possible repercussions to your actions, both with the students and the other professors.'

'Consider me warned,' she said unconcerned.  'Well, I'm still game – what about you?'

'What will this entail exactly?' he asked in a cautious tone of voice, and bit back a sigh as Lois beamed up at him, correctly interpreting his words as the agreement they were. 'I've never been friends with a woman,' he continued arrogantly.  What he didn't add was that he wasn't accustomed to friendship full stop.  Not the type he imagined someone like she would have in mind.  

As a schoolboy at Hogwarts he had obviously had friends of a sort, but it was as true then as it was today that within Slytherin, the majority of alliances were formed merely as a method of gaining something; either a comrade who could assist you in the bullying of others, or the cachet of socialising with someone of equal or purer blood than your own.  The Snapes were a very old wizarding family and he had consequently never been short of schoolmates willing to associate with him, although he knew as well as they did that what they shared was of a very shallow nature.  After leaving Hogwarts the type of people he had encountered were not the sort you turned your back on, let alone sought out as a friend.  And after that of course, he had been back here, the whispers following behind him which had quietened over the years, but were still audible, especially when you were as inherently unlikeable as he was, he thought sourly.  

He looked at the woman standing in front of him, her expressively mobile face showing obvious surprise at his question.  He wondered why he was putting up these stumbling blocks to her overture of friendship, when he certainly wasn't averse to her suggestion at all.  It was probably because he doubted the sincerity of her words he realised, cynically certain there had to be something more behind this surprising request.  His most pressing concern however, was that he didn't make a fool of himself.  Of course as long as she had no idea as to his true feelings, agreeing to her proposition couldn't hurt.  He would let her make all the moves and keep his mouth firmly shut he decided, then when the _real _reason for her actions came out, he wouldn't be left with egg on his face.  His musings were brought to a halt when she began speaking again, obviously taking his query at face value.

'Good grief, Severus, we're grown adults!  It's exactly the same as being friends with a man; I'm not going to expect you to sit around giggling about boys while we braid each other's hair.  Although,' she said, reaching out exploring fingers, 'yours _is_ nearly long enough.'  

The small hand that was stretching towards his shoulder length hair froze bare millimetres from touching it, as he stiffened slightly and drew almost imperceptibly away.  The move had been instinctive, unaccustomed as he was to casual touches and he cursed himself furiously as she dropped her arm back to her side and said in a reassuring voice.  

'No touching, I get it, not a problem,' she promised backing obligingly a few inches away from him. 

Wonderful, he thought angrily; with one tiny unthinking move he'd just denied himself a friendship with a beautiful woman that involved touching, even he knew those were the very best kind.  

'Honestly, It'll be fine, Severus,' Lois carried on, apparently feeling he needed further convincing. 'We'll meet up in the staff room and have coffee and you can grumble about all the horrible Gryffindor students you've had to teach,' she teased slyly.  'And I'll ask you if you watched that film on the telly last night… Oh, I forgot – no electricity.  I'm really going to miss TV,' she said mournfully, sidetracked momentarily, but quickly bounced back, seemingly not wanting to give him chance to change his mind.  'Doesn't matter, I'm sure we'll think of something.' She smiled up at him and not giving it any thought, reached out and squeezed his forearm in an encouraging gesture, before freezing and dropping it as though it has scalded her.  'I'm sorry,' she rushed into speech stepping guiltily away from him, aware she had broken her promise less than two minutes after she had made it.  'Okay, truthfully there may be… some touching – bare minimum I swear!' she said quickly, looking up at him apologetically.

Snape's sceptical expression changed not one iota, but inside he gave a silent cheer – it seemed the touching was back on!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N** Firstly thanks, as ever, for your very kind reviews guys – they're always appreciated. Now secondly, a favour! Term begins soon, probably next chapter, which means of course the teachers start arriving back. Now, am I right in thinking we were never told Flitwick and Sprout's first names in the books? If anyone who's reading knows otherwise (that's presuming anyone's reading of course) I'd be very grateful if you'd tell me - either stick it in a review or e-mail, whatever's easier: Chary@fsmail.net. Thanks a bunch.


	12. Bad Moon Rising

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

And so the friendship shambled on, although friendship was perhaps slightly too strong a word for it Lois thought.  Snape never sought her out, but then again he made no attempt to avoid her either and he certainly didn't seem to object to her company.  She still had great difficulty in reading him, but as far as she could tell, Snape firmly belonged to the like it or lump it school of friendship and considered their new relationship had given him permission to be completely himself.  Consequently his sarcastic attitude had improved not a whit, but at least now she was comfortable enough to insult him right back if he got too bad; when he said her babbling was giving him a headache, she felt quite free to tell him his snarling was doing the same for her, without worrying about him storming off in a huff.  

Even given his continuing sharp manner, Lois still enjoyed spending time with him - when the mood took him, he was actually extremely good company. While she had already known he was intelligent, she had now discovered that he was also interesting and his dry humour, when not cruel, genuinely amused her.  The baiting, unsurprisingly, had also continued.  One of his main pleasures seemed to arise from calling her Achelois at unexpected moments purely, she knew, to annoy her.  What he didn't realise, was that far from disliking his occasional use of her full name, she had actually started to enjoy it.  Coming from his lips, it didn't bother her as it had when the children at school had teased in a singsong voice and instead sounded caressingly intimate, as though the name belonged to him alone.  She made damn sure he didn't know of course and always scowled angrily at him, just to see the gleam of amusement that shone in his eyes when tormenting her.  

The biggest threat to their developing relationship came, surprising, not from Snape at all, but from herself.  The unbidden attraction she had felt for him from the beginning had simmered on, and she was finding it more and more difficult to ignore.  In an effort to deny its existence, she had taken to focussing instead on coaxing him out of his normal foul natured attitude to life in an attempt to make him fit for human contact. Not an easy chore by any means, but Lois had never shirked from hard work.  Anyway, she wouldn't want him to change _too_ much.  He just wouldn't be the same if he was all sweetness and light; in fact, the very idea of him suddenly becoming polite and well mannered boggled her mind.  Friendship Severus-style she mused, as much punishment as pleasure.

For his part, Snape had finally reached a conclusion as to why Lois wanted to spend time with him and it was so blindingly obvious, he wondered why it had eluded him at all – there _was_ no one else.  She was a highly social creature and while Dumbledore was about intermittently, at his age he was hardly a suitable companion and the gods only knew, Lois might feel protective towards Potter, but he couldn't imagine anyone wanting to voluntarily spend time with the obnoxious brat.  Not that he was any great prize either - Snape had never seen the point in deluding himself; he was neither attractive nor good company, but in the absolute absence of all others it appeared he would do.  

Although he was very careful in ensuring Lois didn't know quite how much he was enjoying having her around, he didn't want to fool himself into imagining it would continue once Poppy and the students arrived back.  He had no doubt that before long, he would find himself only meeting up with Lois at meals and during brief tutorials, or if Longbottom finally succeeded in what he had been attempting to do since his first year and caused a catastrophe so large, that the entire potions class and the floor directly above it was admitted to the Infirmary.  It would be far easier on him, if she finished their quasi-friendship sooner rather than later – at least that way he wouldn't be so miserably aware of exactly what he was missing.  He was starting to suspect however that it was too late for that.  Not only was she the most attractive woman he had ever encountered, more importantly, and most usually for him, he _liked_ her.  She was funny and intelligent and genuinely pleasant to be around.  She was also incredibly naïve of course, seeming to see the best in everything and everyone, including him.  No matter how disagreeable he was she brushed it aside without offence, or if he became too objectionable, snarled right back.

Contrary to what he had led Lois to believe, Snape was not in fact universally disliked by the other Professors.  He generally got along perfectly adequately with them and if he kept himself for the main aloofly distant, none of them took it personally. This year however, bearing in mind the distraction they would provide for Lois, he had begun dreading the start of the school year with a dislike bordering on abhorrence.  Unfortunately, that would soon be the least of his worries.  Dumbledore had asked him at breakfast that morning, if he would come to his office to discuss the increased safety that would be needed for the students to continue visiting Hogsmeade.   Once they had done all they could until McGonagall and the other Heads of Houses had returned, the Headmaster had gone on to mention that Rubeus Hagrid had written informing him that his mission was going well, if somewhat slower than hoped.  He would not be returning in time for the start of term and Dumbledore had therefore already appointed a temporary Professor to fill in until he returned.  

Unfortunately, the reason for the subject change from Hogsmeade to the teaching staff had soon become apparent with the next topic of discussion  - Remus Lupin was returning.  His expertise in the dark arts was invaluable and, Dumbledore continued carefully, he hoped given the threat Voldemort now presented, Snape would at least _try_ to get along with the other man.  

Snape had tuned out the rest of Dumbledore's words and had been surprised when the Headmaster had called his name, obviously not for the first time, asking him if he would like to continue their talk later.  Snape had agreed absently and left the room still ruminating over his sheer bad luck; he was worryingly aware that Lupin would be an ideal match for Lois.  Although Snape wouldn't have admitted it at wandpoint, Lupin was attractive enough, for a werewolf and worst of all was sickeningly _nice_.  Knowing Lois, he couldn't even rely on his disease to be enough to put her off - she would probably only find it all the more reason to like him.  Now he not only had the distraction of a school full of children, a full complement of staff and Lois's own studies to fill up her days, he also had a male of marriageable age arriving.  The werewolf would be rubbing his paws in glee when he found Lois here, Snape thought bitterly.  Worse still, his illness left him prone to bouts of sickness and headaches before and after each change, no doubt necessitating many trips to the Infirmary, especially once he met Lois.

His one advantage, if it could be called that, had been the fact that the Hogwarts staff did not boast any males that could realistically be viewed in a romantic light.  With the arrival of Lupin he now saw his trump card disappearing in a puff of smoke. His face scrunched into an unattractive snarl and it was this image that met Lois as he stormed from Dumbledore's office to meet her as arranged for another potions lesson.

*************

'Severus!'  She said, stepping hastily out of his path as he barrelled around the corner.

'Damn it to hell.' Snape growled, by way of a greeting, stalking down the corridor, Lois having to trot slightly to keep up with him.  'What sort of an asinine decision is that – allowing Lupin to return?'

'Who's Lupin?'  Lois asked worried, was he some sort of partner of Voldemort?

'A previous Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor - he left three years ago after the students discovered he was a werewolf.'  Snape felt a slight twinge of guilt as he said that, but pushed the felling resolutely back down; the man had no business teaching.  If he hadn't devoured at least one of the students by Easter, Snape would eat his hat.  

'A werewolf?'  Lois gasped.  She had read about them briefly in the book Dumbledore had lent her, but the only thing she remembered was the fact that they existed.  'Isn't that rather dangerous?'

'Incredibly so.'  Snape said a disgusted look on his face.

'Wait a minute, you said the students discovered – everyone else already knew?'

'The Headmaster hired him fully aware of his condition, probably out of a sense of misguided pity, but no sane parent would knowingly allow him to teach their child.'

'So what happened… did he get all furry and growling in class?' 

'No.' He said with a disparaging snort. 'He retains human form until the full moon, at which point he becomes a ravaging beast who is unable to control his baser instincts.  Perfectly safe in a school full of children.'  He finished sarcastically, hoping that concern for the students would turn Lois against him before he even arrived.

'He doesn't roam around at night during the full moon does he?'  Lois asked nervously, imagining huge, red, wolf warning signs posted in the staff room once a month and her failing to notice one.  She shuddered at the thought of trying to flee an advancing werewolf through the twisting corridors with any degree of success - she often had great difficulty in simply finding her own room.

'There is a potion available now which I can provide that enables him to retain his faculties during transformation.'  Snape admitted grudgingly.  'Providing, of course, he remembers to take it.'  

'Oh,' Lois said hugely relieved.  'That's all right then.  I suppose being a werewolf must be terribly hard for the poor man.'  She stopped for a second, wondering what it must be like for the unknown Professor Lupin, before giving a startled burst of laughter.   

Snape looked at her, surprised at such a seemingly heartless reaction.

She shook her head. 'I was just realising again how bizarre all this is – werewolves teaching children how to be witches and wizards.  What's next.'  She said with another shake of her head. 'Vampires?'  Her eyes widened as the possibility of that struck her.  'Actually that's a point, _do_ vampires really exist?'  

'Certainly.'  He said with a sigh, calming slightly from his earlier fury in her soothing presence.  He hadn't failed to notice though, that she was already perfectly happy with the idea of sharing a building with a werewolf and was even sympathising with his plight.  Naïve didn't do her justice he thought sourly.  Of course he couldn't really complain - if she were of a different temperament she probably wouldn't be giving him the time of day.

Lois looked at the man at her side consideringly.  With his hypnotising black eyes and pale features, Severus would easily fit anyone's mental image of what a vampire looked like.  That was a pretty sexy idea actually she mused with a little shiver, trying to surreptitiously check out his teeth. 

'From the expression on your face, am I to take it that you are now imaging that I am a creature of the night?'  He asked, his black eyes glinting.

'No, of course not!'  She scoffed, feeling foolish for letting her heated imagination run away with her for a moment. 

'Hmm.' He said unconvinced. 'Well before you begin wandering the hallways clutching a crucifix and wearing strings of garlic, let me assure you I do have a beating heart within my chest, although there are those that would argue otherwise I'm sure.'

'I never doubted it for a minute.'  Lois said staunchly, her right hand snaking out to grab his wrist and check for a pulse.  He shook her small hand away like a bothersome fly, allowing a slight twist of his lips as she grinned over at him, her bright blue eyes twinkling.

*******

One huge upside to being friends with Snape, Lois thought, was that potions class had improved dramatically.  Now that she wasn't so wary around him, she was enjoying the lessons all the more and Snape seemed pleased with her progress, although he certainly wasn't one for effusive compliments.  She gave the potion she was brewing one last stir, before letting out a small breath in relief.

'Severus I think it's done.'  She called over to his desk where he was busily writing out lesson plans.

He put down his quill and walked over to the cauldron looking closely at the colour, before stirring the mixture and allowing some of it to trickle off the spoon to test the consistency.

'A perfect Burn Freezing mixture.'  He said in his usual unemotional tone.  'Well done.'   

'Great!'  Lois said pleased, immediately stuffing her equipment into her bag and tidying up the desk.

'Am I keeping you?'  Snape asked sarcastically as she hurriedly wiped down her chopping board and trotted over to the huge stone sink at the end of the room to wash it.

'Sorry.'  Lois apologised for her hasty exit.  They normally sat down together after a class, drinking tea while Snape went over what she had learnt in the lesson and what he had for her planned next.  'Harry's meeting me at the Quidditch pitch to attempt to explain the rules.  He wants me try a broomstick, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that.'  She said cautiously.

'Potter is going to teach you to fly?'  Snape asked incredulously.

'It's okay.'  Lois assured him.  'He's spoken to Professor Dumbledore about it and he said it would be alright.' 

'It most definitely is not alright!'  Snape barked.

'Why not?'  Lois asked surprised by his tone.

'Because you are not clambering onto a broomstick and flying forty feet into the air with only a fifteen year old for supervision.  A fifteen year old, may I add, who happens to be one of the biggest show offs I have ever encountered.'  He said looking darkly annoyed.

'He isn't a show off.'  Lois scolded.  'He's actually a very responsible young man who I happen to trust and so does the Headmaster apparently.'  She continued firmly, when Snape looked as though he was about to explode.

'And what if you fell off and broke your neck?'  He said visibly subduing his ire.  'What would Potter do then?'

'That's the spirit.'  Lois said sarcastically. 'It's your unwavering optimism that I like.'

'He is not teaching you to fly.'  Snape said in voice that brooked no argument.  'I will come along to supervise.' He finished arrogantly.

'Fine.'  Lois said hurriedly, seriously late now.  'Actually I was going to ask you to take me over to the Quidditch pitch anyway.  I'm not sure I could find it on my own.'  She admitted with a grimace.

Snape muttered something uncomplimentary under his breath, but Lois ignored him and grabbed her bag urging him from the room.  As they left the school and started across the lawn Lois looked over at Snape.

'Do you play Quidditch?'  

'I used to when I was younger.'

'Were you any good at it?'

'Adequate.'  He said with a twist of his lips. 'Certainly not professional standard, but good enough to be in the Slytherin team.

'What about Harry?  He told me he was the youngest person in over a hundred years to be picked for a House team.'  

'What did I say - show off.'  Snape said with a triumphant smirk at Lois

'He wasn't bragging, I asked him.'  Lois said defending the young boy.  'Well.'  She prodded.  'Is he good?'

Snape let out a huge sigh, the words obviously paining him 'Yes.  He could probably play for England right now.  If you ever tell him I said that.'  He said with a warning glare. 'You will find yourself shrunk to the size of a pixie and living in a glass jar on a shelf in my classroom for the next hundred years.'  The thought of her trapped with him for eternity without the possibility of anyone stealing her away, gave him a warm glow; the fact that she would fit in the palm of his hand only mildly off-putting.      

'You know Severus,' she said in a vaguely preachy tone.  'Praise and recognition of skills and abilities from an authority figure is an invaluable tool for instilling a sense of self-worth and self-esteem in children and young adults.'

Snape didn't reply and instead raised his right hand in front of her face, holding his thumb and forefinger bare inches apart, miming the size she would be if she couldn't give him a cast iron guarantee on her silence.

'Fine.'  She huffed. 'Have it your way.'

When they arrived at the pitch Harry was already there, swooping across the sky and doing hairpin turns at breakneck speed.  Lois watched in awe as the boy, unaware of their presence, zoomed into a spiralling dive, pulling out at the very last second just as Lois's heart landed in her mouth.

'Remember how much I hated travelling by Portkey and Floo powder?' She asked Snape shakily, staring up at Harry and shielding her eyes from the glaring sunlight.  He nodded in answer.  'I take it all back.'

'You're afraid of heights?'  He said surprised, so far nothing she had come across had seemed to faze her.  

'Not as bad as I used to be, but I'm a lot happier with my feet firmly on the ground.'  She admitted. 'Do they have to go that fast and high?'  She asked with a groan as Harry shot overhead.

'It's a broomstick.'  Snape lectured.  'It has no mind of its own; it does purely what the operator commands.'

Above them, Harry seemed to freeze in midair, before shooting straight up like a rocket.   Lois let out a soft moan and shivered slightly, partly from fear for both Harry and herself - should she ever work up the courage to go up there - and partly because it was actually quite chilly.

'Are you cold?'  Snape asked sharply looking critically at her short-sleeved top.

'A little.' She admitted.

He gave an impatient sigh as goosebumps started appearing on her arms.  'Lord preserve me from idiots who don't even have the sense to adequately clothe themselves.'

'I didn't expect it to be so cold!'  Lois replied stung, gesturing to the clear blue sky and bright sun.  Unfortunately despite the summery appearance, the wind was biting and the Quidditch pitch very exposed.

'This is a British summer,' Snape said with a disparaging snort.  'The only thing unexpected about the weather today is that it isn't raining.'  

Lois grimaced not replying.  He was right, damn him.  She could take his standing there looking smugly warm in his heavy robes and cloak - it was the mocking of her own lack of foresight while he was doing it that she objected to.   She sensed movement out of the corner of her eye and turned towards him as an identical cloak to his own appeared in his arms from nowhere.    

'Is that for me?'  She asked touched by his kindness.

'No.' He said sarcastically.  'I was worried Potter might be feeling chilly so I conjured him an extra cloak.'

Lois shot him a dirty look as he dropped the heavy garment over her shoulders.  'A little large.'  He smirked as the folds of cloth buried her and pooled around her ankles.

'Doesn't matter.'  Lois said snuggling into the warm fabric before giving a surprised squeak as sudden blasts of hot air billowed from inside it.  'Oh, that's nice.'  She groaned ecstatically, enjoying the sensation of her body being deliciously warm while she was standing in the middle of a windswept field exposed to the elements.  'God, you should market this.'  She said closing her eyes and pulling the cloak tight around her so none of the hot air could escape.  'I'd buy it.'

Snape looked down at her, her pale hair was loose now from the plait she had tied it in for potions class and was streaming out behind her as the wind caught it and tossed it about.  A few of the long strands flew up and wound themselves teasingly across his face and he breathed in deeply, trying to fill his lungs with the sweet fragrance clinging to them.  Her eyes were shut and her lips softly parted with an expression of such bliss lighting her features that he felt his stomach twist painfully.  His hand lifted reflexively from his side and stretched towards her gleaming hair, suddenly and unaccountably filled with a need to touch it, to touch her. 

'Lois!'  Came a loud yell, breaking his trance like state and causing Lois's eyes to shoot open and her head to tilt upwards, as a figure detached itself from the sky and came speeding towards the two of them.  For perhaps the first time since he had arrived at Hogwarts, Snape was glad to see Potter – how would he have explained to Lois what he was doing if his hand had actually managed to make contact?

'I thought you'd forgotten.'  Harry beamed making a perfect landing in front of her.  'Or got lost.'  He teased knowing Lois's difficulties in finding her way around the castle.

'Nope, just a bit behind schedule.  Professor Snape very kindly escorted me here.'  She said smiling over at him, not noticing Harry's expression drop as he finally acknowledged the hard faced man at her side.  

'Hello Professor.'  He said politely before clamming up, plainly hoping Snape would be on his way now that Lois was safely delivered.

The boy's displeasure at his appearance cheered Snape slightly and he shot him a cruel smirk, making sure Lois did not see.

'Actually, Professor Snape offered to assist you in my flying lessons.'  Lois said diplomatically as the silence lengthened.  A horrified look came over Harry's face and taking pity on him Lois added. 'But truthfully after watching you up there, I'm not sure I'm ready for a broomstick yet.'

Harry looked at her, torn, before his self-preservation instincts kicked in and he gave a laugh, relieved he wouldn't have to attempt any sort of instruction with Snape watching.  'I remember you said you were afraid of heights.'  He agreed.  'Perhaps you'd be safer with Madam Hooch teaching you, she'd probably be better at it than me anyway.' 

'Are you kidding?'  Lois said truthfully.  'I saw you up there, that was brilliant Harry!  Although.'  She said in a more worried tone.  'I don't like the idea of you out here by yourself.  Do you fly alone often?' 

'No, normally at practice I'm with the rest of the team and I'm not allowed to fly when I'm at the Dursley's.'  He said bitterly.

'Good, good.'  Lois said relieved.  'Not the Dursley's of course.'  She said when he blinked at her in surprise.  'I just don't like the idea of you up there on your own.  What if you fell off?  No.' She said resolutely.  'I don't care how good you are, you must make sure someone's with you in case there's an accident.'

'I'll be fine Lois, I'm not really ever alone.'  Harry said attempting to sound nonchalant, but Snape saw the pleased gleam in the boy's eyes at her obvious concern.  He wondered irritably why the two of them didn't just start up their own little fan club.  He also hadn't missed the fact that Potter apparently seemed to know quite a bit about her – they must have spent a lot of time together to have gotten around to discussing her phobias.  He wished suddenly that he had the easy ability to chat and exchange information and small talk, the way everyone around him seemed able to do within only minutes of meeting.  Not, of course, that he was actually interested in listening to the vast majority of people droning on and on about the minutiae of their boring lives – where they'd been on holiday, their endless monologues on their pointless pets and not forgetting of course their favourite food and places to eat – as if anyone other than they cared about any of it.  He wouldn't mind hearing all those things about Lois though he realised.  He let out a deep sigh unaware of its loudness until Lois turned to him an apologetic smile on her face.

'Sorry Severus, I've dragged you out here for nothing now that I've chickened out.'  

'Don't worry about it.'  He said in his normal cool tone, considering for a moment hanging around simply to spite Potter, before deciding against it.  It might annoy the boy, but it would also mean he would have to spend more time in his company, not something he relished.  'Let me know if you decided try flying before Hooch arrives back.'  He said with a warning look at Lois, who rolled her eyes but agreed.

Snape headed back towards the castle with a curt nod of goodbye and Lois and Harry both turned to watch him go.  Harry let out a relieved sigh as he headed into the distance and Lois smiled at him.  'Not much fun for you this holiday is it?'  She said in commiseration. 'Having to hang around at school and with your teachers to boot.'

'I don't mind.  I like _most _of the teachers anyway.'  He said with a dark glance at Snape's retreating back and Lois grimaced, changing the subject to tell him about Professor Lupin.  Unlike Snape, Harry was ecstatic at his return.  

'He was the best DADA teacher we've had Lois.'  He said gleefully.

'Even if he's a werewolf?'  She asked carefully.

'Yeah, he was really nice and he taught us loads of useful things, not like some of the other Dark Arts Professors.'  He muttered.

'How did everyone find out he was a werewolf anyway.'  Lois asked.  'He didn't hurt anyone did he?'  Snape hadn't mentioned that when they discussed him earlier. After his initial angry tirade, he had been annoyingly closed mouthed about the man he apparently detested so much and Lois hadn't been able to badger him further while concentrating on her lesson.

'No, no nothing like that.'  Harry said hurriedly.  'Snape… I mean, Professor Snape, told everyone he was a werewolf and Professor Lupin reckoned none of the parents would let him teach their children once they knew, so he left.'

'Oh dear.'  Lois said softly, wondering now if his silence about Lupin had been caused by guilt.  She doubted it.  'Why did he do that?'  She asked Harry wanting to know what had been behind Snape's actions.

'Because he's a mean git.'  Harry said with a scowl. 'Sorry.'  He mumbled unconvincingly at Lois's reproving look.  

'How long was Professor Lupin here before everyone found out?'  Lois asked, wondering how Harry had come to like the Professor so much in what was presumably a short space of time.

'He nearly managed the full year, that's about as long as any of our DADA teachers have lasted.' Harry admitted.

'He was here for a whole year?  But why did Professor Snape wait until then before telling everyone?'  She asked puzzled.

'Well.'  Harry said, drawing the word out. 'It's a bit… complicated.  Professor Snape and Lupin were at school together along with my dad and my godfather.  They all hated each other anyway because of being in different Houses, but then Sirius – my godfather – played a prank on Snape that could have killed him, so he hated him even more.'

'He tried to _kill_ him?' Lois breathed, shocked at the violence.

'Not really, it was just a joke that got out of hand I think.'  Harry rushed to say.  'My dad found out and saved him, which made Snape even angrier. When Professor Lupin came to teach at the school three years ago, Snape tried to talk Professor Dumbledore out of if, but he wouldn't listen.  Snape didn't trust Lupin and by then my godfather was in wizard prison for murder and spying for Voldemort. He was innocent though.' He said hurriedly seeing Lois shake her head dazedly.  'He escaped from Azkaban and came to Hogwarts to protect me from the real spy.  Snape found out and believing Sirius was a murderer, he tried to save me and Ron and Hermione from him, except we didn't _need_ saving.  Then in the middle of it all, Professor Lupin changed into a werewolf and Wormtail – the spy – escaped.  Snape got us back to the castle and was going to get an Order of Merlin for rescuing us and capturing Sirius, but then Sirius escaped and Snape got nothing.  By the time it was all over Professor Snape was absolutely furious and I think he flipped out even more than he already had.'

'I'm not surprised.'  Lois said stunned - murderers and werewolves and espionage and all under a boarding school roof!  She had been right to think Harry and Snape had some history, but she could never have imagined anything like this! 

'I suppose he did _sort of _try to protect us.'  Harry admitted.  'But not in a nice way.  It wasn't fair what he did to poor Professor Lupin either; wizards are incredibly prejudiced against werewolves and he really needed that job - Professor Dumbledore was the only one who would hire him.'  He finished sadly.  'I wonder how he's able to come back now?'  He said suddenly.  

Lois shrugged, as much in the dark as Harry was.

********

They found out the answer to the question that night at dinner.  Dumbledore was joining them and Harry tackled him about Professor Lupin almost as soon as he sat down.

'Is it true?' He asked the Headmaster eagerly.  'Is Professor Lupin teaching Dark Arts this year?'

'I never cease to be amazed at the astonishing speed with which rumours fly around Hogwarts; it seems not even an empty school can impede their flight.'  Dumbledore laughed.

Snape shot Lois an accusing look and she said apologetically. 'That's my fault I'm afraid, Severus mentioned it to me and I didn't stop to think it might be confidential.  Sorry.'  She mumbled into her soup.

'Not at all.'  Dumbledore reached for the bread rolls and offered the basket around the table.  'After all, there must be some advantages to spending your summer holidays stuck at school, eh Harry?' He said with a smile.  'A sneak preview, as it were, of the upcoming years staff is perhaps slight compensation.'

'So it is true.'  Harry said mightily pleased.  'But what about him being a werewolf – or is he cured?'

'If Lupin had taught you anything during his time here Mr Potter,' Snape mocked.  'Then you should have known that there _is_ no cure.'

'I knew there wasn't, I just thought something new might have been invented, like the Wolfsbane Potion.'  Harry replied quickly, not wanting to place Lupin's teaching in a bad light.

'Alas Professor Snape is of course right – there is as yet no cure.' Dumbledore said sadly.  'However, Remus Lupin will not actually be returning as your main Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor.'  

'He won't?' Harry said disappointed.

'No, we have already appointed a new female Professor to the post, Elena Roupe.  However, I'm afraid for obvious reasons Harry, DADA lessons will be doubled this year.  As that is too much work for one Professor, and to give the students the opportunity to be taught by teachers with different areas of expertise, there will be an additional joint posting between Professor Lupin and Alastor Moody, who has very kindly agreed to give teaching at Hogwarts another whirl.'

'Won't people still complain about Professor Lupin though?'  Harry asked confused as to how even Dumbledore could pull this one off.

'We shall see.'  Dumbledore said with a small smile.  'Letters will be sent to all parents with the years reading and supplies requirements informing them that as rumours have suggested, Professor Lupin is indeed a werewolf and will be returning to teach at Hogwarts.  When he is indisposed, his classes will be taught by Professor Moody.  The letter will also state that anyone not wishing their child to be taught by Professor Lupin, can have all additional lessons with Professor Moody.'  Dumbledore smiled again at Harry's delighted grin.  'I am not expecting many people to take us up on that offer.'  

'Did Professor Roupe go to Hogwarts?'  Harry asked, wondering if she too might have known his parents.

'No, I believe she attended Durmstrang.'  Dumbledore replied his blue eyes twinkling merrily at the dark look Harry and Snape shared at the mention of the school, for once in complete accord.

'What about Care of Magical Creatures - will Professor Grubly-Plank be teaching us again until Hagrid gets back?'  Harry asked quickly, determined to find out as much as possible before he owled the information to Ron and Hermione.  He had already told them about the very oddly worded letter he had received from Hagrid the week before along with his birthday card and gift, saying he would not be returning in time for the new school year.  Subterfuge was not a skill Hagrid possessed and reading easily between the very messily written lines, it seemed he was still on the mission Dumbledore had sent him on to infiltrate the remaining giant population to try and convince them not to join forces with Voldemort for the upcoming war.   

'Sadly she was not available at such short notice, but we have luckily managed to procure a very fine replacement - Professor Hugo Quade.'

Snape stiffened at the name.  _Hugo_ - another male, damn it.  If he hadn't tuned Dumbledore out earlier, he thought annoyed, he would have already known about this.  He sighed heavily into his soup hoping this Professor Quade was over eighty and possessing of spectacularly bad breath.  Snape let out another deep sigh; somehow he knew the gods wouldn't be that kind.  Deep in the darkest recesses of his mind, his natural pessimism lifted its head and gently sniffed the air, gleefully scenting the approach of imminent disaster. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**   Thanks for all those nice reviews and everyone who answered my question about Flitwick and Sprout's first names – I won't need it till next chapter after all.  Opinion seems to be divided over whether Flitwick is Filius or not, but it _does_ ring a bell so I'm going with it. 

Rugi Gwena - Thank you for that, very nice to read!  As for the healing and empathic stuff – it's coming, honest.  It's just that the story is taking much longer to write than I anticipated.  The main problem is that I've finished it in my head – it's completely plotted and done, I've even written most of the last chapter and the epilogue, it's just that I'm having trouble transferring it onto the page from my annoyingly squishy brain – its grown weary with the tale and has moved on to other things – traitor.

PiperX – (and anyone else it's bothering) the formatting – yeah, I know.  It doesn't look like that in the word document I type it in, but it does when I upload.  I have to say though, for me personally, it does make it easier to read so I probably wouldn't change it now even if I knew how to – which I don't!  


	13. Instant Karma

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

'Remus, I can't _do_ this.' Lois growled in frustration, rubbing wearily at her eyes.

'You're nearly there Lois.'  He said encouragingly. 'Don't give up now – you've practically got it.'

Lois looked into his pale face, such a positive gleam in his warm brown eyes that she felt a renewed spurt of enthusiasm wash over her.  Remus Lupin, the first returning Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, had arrived back at Hogwarts three days ago.  She had been pleased to discover that Harry and not Snape had been right about him – he was "_really nice_" and anyone less aggressively wolf-like would be hard to find.  On first impression he looked instead tired and careworn, his light brown hair heavily sprinkled with grey, seeming incongruous on his young looking features.  It was obvious that his disease affected him physically as well as socially, but he apparently hadn't allowed it to embitter him or sour his outlook on life and Lois admired him greatly for that.  

As term time approached the Professors had slowly begun trickling back to the school in dribs and drabs.  Lois had been extremely glad they hadn't arrived en masse; it would have been just too intimidating.  Luckily this way she was able to take it slowly and as each Professor arrived, her tutoring sessions increased.  Once she started her mediwizard studies, it was quite possible she would have to drop some of the non-essential tutoring until she had more time, but for now she was happily taking as many classes as she could.

The start of lessons which used _real_ magic had been intensely nerve racking – so far with potions, she hadn't really needed any actual knowledge of spells or wand waving, just the ability to follow instructions precisely and with meticulous care, both skills Lois had routinely been called upon to use in her career as a nurse.  As nervous as she was, she had been very pleased to find that Professor McGonagall's outwardly stern demeanour did indeed hide a warm nature.  Better still she seemed to have a genuine desire to impart knowledge, which made her an excellent teacher.  Unfortunately, much as she liked McGonagall, Lois was finding transfiguration exceedingly difficult and she didn't see herself changing even a matchstick into a needle any time soon.  

Professor Flitwick though was a different matter, whether it was due to his teaching methods, or just sheer good luck on her part, she had discovered to her relief that she had a definite aptitude for charms.  He said her wrist movements were exquisite and her pronunciation first rate.  She had already asked his opinion as to whether she would benefit from choosing a wand of her own rather than continuing with her mother's.  He had advised her to wait until she had spoken with Poppy – apparently mediwizards generally used only specific types of wands and the Hogwarts Matron would obviously know more about that than he did. 

As there were in effect three DADA Professors this year, Dumbledore had suggested that Remus Lupin be her main tutor and she could flit between Roupe and Moody as necessary.  Her Defence Against the Dark Arts classes had begun with theory and quickly moved on to practical studies.  Remus admitted that there wasn't an awful lot of use covered in the first two years and after a brief overview, he had given her the relevant textbooks to read at her own pace.  They had then started on the third year syllabus, which she was finding much harder going – reading about dark creatures was fine, but actually examining and confronting them?  Lois was beginning to wonder whether she had bitten of more than she could chew.

Remus had arrived in class today with a Pogrebin – a hairy Russian demon only a foot tall, which had the ability to hide in plain view due to the fact that when crouching only its smooth grey head, which looked like a rock, could be seen.  The Pogrebin posed no real threat to any wizard and could be easily defeated with a simple hex, or even a sharp kick if the worst came to the worst.  The demon only truly became a danger when you were unaware of its presence – if allowed to trail a human for many hours a sense of great futility would sweep over them, eventually turning into lethargy and despair.  When the victim finally sank to their knees to weep at the pointlessness of existence, the Pogrebin would jump onto their uncaring backs to devour them.  While Lois was perfectly safe from that unpleasant fate within the classroom, the hex Remus had taught her just wouldn't come out right and she was quite dispirited enough from her failure, without the faint air of gloom that was slowly encompassing her thanks to the demon's magic.

'Ready?'  Remus asked and Lois snapped back to the present with a jerk.  Heaving a heavy sigh in response she nodded.

They both turned their backs and Lois waited until she was sure the Pogrebin would have stood up, before pivoting to face it and shouting as firmly as she could, 'Apage Deperandum.'  A feeble shower of silver sparks flew from her wand, landing far short of the ugly little demon that was already sinking back down to the floor.  'This isn't going to work.'  She said dispiritedly.

Remus smiled at her glum expression.  'Why don't we have a break from it,' he soothed.  'And then give it one more go.'  Lois immediately began shaking her head, but he carried on before she could interrupt.  'Just one more try.'  He coaxed.  'And if you still can't do it, we'll leave it for today, I promise.'  He sat down on a desk and Lois slumped gratefully onto the one next to him, giving a tired smile of thanks at his offer of tea.

'So Lois.'  He said handing her a cup.  'How are you coping with all this?'  He asked waving his arm to indicate he meant Hogwarts as a whole.

'Okay I suppose.'  She answered carefully.  'It's a bit bewildering of course having it dumped on you out of the blue, but even so I haven't been this happy in years.'  She admitted, realising the truth of the words only as she said them.  She was almost instantly swamped with a rush of guilt, as though enjoying life again was an insult to her father and David's memories.  She pushed the feeling determinedly aside, knowing for certain that neither of them would ever have wanted her to be unhappy.  'Although I am a little worried about how everyone will react to me when school actually starts.' She confessed.

'Why?'  Remus asked puzzled.  'I would have thought finding out was the hard part.'

'It was but I just feel a bit silly sometimes; turning up like this at my age and being completely ignorant about even the basics.  I know I'm not the only person to discover that they're a witch with no forewarning, but I think it's probably easier for children to accept.  Plus of course they have the consolation of being with people of the same age, in the same situation and with the security and support of their House behind them - like a little family unit.'

'Yes I can see how that would be difficult.'  Remus said meditatively.  'But I'm sure the other Professors would be happy to advise you about any problems and you can always talk to me if you want.'   He offered kindly.

'Thank you.'  Lois said sincerely.  'I don't want you to think I'm grumbling, I don't regret finding out I'm a witch for a minute but it's not easy sometimes.'

'You know,' Remus said slowly.  'I'm sure the Headmaster would let you be sorted, if you think it might make you feel more as though you belong.'

'At my age?!'  Lois said with a laugh.

'I don't see why not.'  Remus replied.  'Wouldn't you like to know?'

'I'm not sure.'  Lois said honestly.  'You were in Gryffindor weren't you?'  She asked.  'Like Harry?'

'I was.'  He said with smile, his eyes twinkling.  'Best House there is obviously.  Filled with only the bravest, truest, most courageous souls.  You could do a lot worse.'  He insisted as Lois rolled her eyes at his teasing words.

'I see.'  She grinned. 'And is being an incurable braggart a requirement for entry into Gryffindor, or is that something specific only to you?'  

Remus feigned a thoughtful look, lifting a fingertip to tap consideringly against his pursed lips.  'You know I can't _recall_ that ever being mentioned in any of the sorting hat songs I heard.'  He finally declared and Lois gave a small laugh, her melancholy mood lifting, as she was sure was his intention.

'What do you think though, really?  He asked serious once more. 'Would it help?'  

Lois gave it some thought before finally saying, 'No, I don't think so.  I suppose it would have been nice to know if I'd have been a Ravenclaw like my mom, but other than that it doesn't really matter.  Anyway.'  She smiled at him.  'What if I got sorted into Slytherin?  We'd have to be archenemies.'

'If you were, I would have done my very best not to hold it against you.'  Remus assured her his eyes gleaming with humour.

'Yes, but I can't promise the same.'  Lois said.  'Who knows what sort of an effect it would have on me?'  She said straight-faced.  'I might suddenly be compelled to hex Gryffindors on sight or save all the good bandages for Slytherin students.'

Remus shook his head at her smiling, before standing and grabbing her hand pulling her up from the desk.  'Come on.'  He said firmly.  'You owe me one last go with the Pogrebin.'  

Lois groaned and sucked in a deep breath before rolling her neck in an attempt to loosen her knotted shoulder muscles.  Remus nodded encouragingly and they both turned their backs on the small rock like object so that it would stand up again, giving Lois the chance to hex it.

A sharp rapping sound had them swivelling around, the classroom door swinging open before Remus had time to call, "Come in."  Snape stood in the doorway an annoyed expression on his face, which darkened as he took in the two of them standing closely together, apparently staring at a blank wall.

'There you are!'  He growled walking further into the room, dispensing with any other greeting.  'Do you realise you are twenty minutes late for your potions lesson Achelois?'  He barked reprovingly as she looked at him questioningly.  'Unlike Professor Lupin, who will only be teaching part-time,' he disparaged.  'I have a great deal of work to prepare for the new term, which I have uncomplainingly put to one side to assist with your studies.  While I do not expect endless gratitude, I would ask that at the very least you be on time.'

'Oh Severus, I'm sorry!'  Lois said guilty, completely unaware of her lateness until he had arrived.  'It's just that this damn… can you wait a second?  I promised I'd have one more….  "Apage Desperandum!"  She shouted whipping round suddenly to catch the Pogrebin in the act of sneakily rising, her curse finally causing him to fly backwards across the room and land on his head, before leaping up and making a very rude gesture at her.  'Yes!'  She gave a triumphant yell as the ugly little creature stomped back into the box it had arrived in and sulkily yanked the lid into place. 

'Well done.'  Lupin congratulated pleased.  'I knew you could do it!'

Lois pushed her hair away from her perspiring forehead, feeling slightly limp now that the intense concentration she had needed for the past hour was over.  'I can't believe how difficult this is.'  She confessed to the two men as she hurriedly collected her books together.  'I mean, I'm holding the wand and saying the words, but it just doesn't do what I know it _should_ do.'

'Don't be so hard on yourself.'  Remus commiserated.  'You're doing fine for a beginner and even if you're never a natural at DADA, I'm positive you'll be able to learn enough to at least defend yourself.'

'That's another worry.'  Lois admitted.  'I've never met a Banshee or a Bundimun in my life.  I hope that they're not suddenly going to come crawling out of the woodwork after me now that I know they exist.'  She shuddered.

Remus smiled, but Snape's dark expression hadn't changed since he had arrived.  'If you are ready?'  He asked in a cool voice.

'Coming, coming.'  She grumbled.  'Bye Remus and thanks.  Same time tomorrow?'

He nodded in agreement but his voice halted their progress just as they reached the door.  'Severus, I forgot to tell you – Snuffles insisted that I send you his regards.'  He said ruefully.

Snape nodded coldly in acknowledgment before guiding Lois from the room

'Who's Snuffles?'  She asked curiously as they headed for the dungeons.

'No one of any importance.'  He said impatiently, before a cunning look came over his face and his eyes narrowed slyly, something that would have instantly set alarm bells ringing had she seen it.  Unfortunately however, her attention was firmly fixed on placing her wand carefully in her pocket, still not entirely trusting it not to go off accidentally and vaporise a limb.  

'Actually,' Snape continued meaningfully, his face now wiped clear of all expression. 'He's the man Lupin lives with.'   

'What do you mean,_ lives_ with?  I… Oh.'  Lois said in dawning realisation.  'You mean Remus is…'

'I really wouldn't know.'  Snape interjected blithely before she could finish her sentence.  'We are hardly what you would call confidants; however, there have been… rumours for a good many years.  He's never actually come right out and admitted it, but more tellingly, he's never denied it either.'  

It wasn't strictly a lie he assured himself - he just hadn't mentioned that Lupin had never denied it because as far as he knew, no one had ever asked him; while Lupin might not have had Black's success with the opposite sex when they had been at school, he certainly hadn't done _too_ badly.  Snape pushed his vague guilt over misleading Lois to one side.  With any luck she would never find out anyway.  'After all, he does live with a man he affectionately calls "Snuffles" and he _is_ closer to forty than thirty and still unmarried.' He continued casually.

'Well so are you.'  Pointed out Lois fairly.  

'The reason I am not married is that women, for the main, are twittering idiots who are far more effort than they are worth, not because my natural inclination lies in another direction.'  He snorted disparagingly.  In the murky depths of his often-underused conscience, a small flicker of shame spluttered to life at stooping to such low tactics, before being almost instantly extinguished by the crystal clear image of Lois and Lupin standing so comfortably closely together.  He'd never claimed to be an honourable man.

'With sweet talk like that it's hard to believe some lucky woman hasn't snapped you up.'  She mocked, before returning to their discussion.  'I wonder why Remus never mentioned him though?'

'You know him well enough to believe that he would have?'  Snape asked sharply.

'No, I suppose not, we did only meet a few days ago.'  Lois admitted thoughtfully.  'Still, you have surprised me, I never would have guessed.'

'To each his own.'  He sermonised.

'Oh, absolutely.'  Lois agreed.  'Do you know him then, this Snuffles – if he sent you his regards I mean.'

'Simply trying to antagonise me no doubt.'  Snape said in a hard voice, happy to tell the complete truth when it came to Black.  'He attended Hogwarts at the same time as I did.  I never could tolerate him; an insufferable, arrogant egotist who has only worsened with age.'  

'I can't image Remus would be with someone so horrible.'  Lois said doubtfully.

'Yes, well, none of our business after all.'  Snape said with careful disinterest.  'One thing though.'  He warned.  'I wouldn't imagine he would be comfortable in discussing this with you unless he brings it up himself.'  _Not much chance of that,_ he assured himself, pleased.

'Of course not!'  Lois said impatiently.  'I wouldn't dream of sticking my nose uninvited into someone else's business.'  She said self-righteously. 

Snape looked at her incredulously, amazed that she had the nerve to actually say that out loud, and to him of all people.  The only reason she was here in the first place was because of her inability to leave things that didn't concern her well alone!

'Alright.'  She said grumpily, acknowledging his silent disbelief.  'But I would only do it out of genuine concern, not because of some puerile interest in my co-workers private lives. 

Lois ignored Snape's snort of sceptical laughter, which quickly changed to a huff of pain as her elbow made contact with his ribs.

**************

The glorious summer blazed on and Lois gradually became accustomed to the peculiarities of living within a magical castle, falling a little more in love with its high ceilings and flickering lamp lit passageways with every passing day.  

Sadly her sense of direction had always been poor and her main gripe, if she was forced to admit it, was that she was still finding it almost impossible to navigate Hogwarts winding corridors.  Harry had assured her that he and his friends had had similar problems when they first arrived, but he had to admit that they had managed to sort it out after being here as long as Lois had.  

Despite her very best efforts Lois often remained completely clueless.  Worst of all on the occasions when she truly had no idea where she was, she could guarantee that the only people she would bump into were either Peeves or Filch, one of whom delighted in her confusion because that was what he lived, or rather died for and the other simply out of sheer dislike for her.  When Filch came across her wandering about lost, he never actually refused to direct her as Peeves did, but instead gave her very precise instructions, which when she followed left her even more lost than she had originally been.  After the second time Lois realised the fault was his, not hers and when she happened across him from then on would simply give him a breezy hello, pretending she knew exactly where she was.

The main reason Lois was unable to find her way was that there were almost no permanent signposts in the castle.  Staircases regularly changed direction and entire rooms occasionally disappeared only to reappear days later on a different floor.  The portraits that lined the walls were so huge and recognisable that they should have made excellent markers for her travels, but as Harry had discovered soon after he came to Hogwarts, the people in the paintings could not be relied upon to stay put.  

Since arriving back, Harry had insisted that the pictures were empty more often than usual.  At first Lois had thought he was just trying to make her feel better, but it turned out he was right; apparently Dumbledore made sure that the summer holidays extended not only to the students and staff, but to the paintings too.  In an attempt to locate the fat lady to gain entrance to his common room one day, Harry had stumbled across two huge murals painted on the walls of connecting corridors up on the sixth floor, filled with vacationing portrait subjects.

The first mural was a blindingly sunny golden beach with soft foaming waves breaking in an impossible blue sea.  Brightly coloured deckchairs lined the seawall and old-fashioned changing huts on wheels were set up along the waters edge.  In the distance along a winding promenade was a small fairground from which piped organ music could be heard.  For the more sedate portrait dweller, the second mural had been enchanted to take the form of a lush green meadow with a babbling brook running through it and soft blankets scattered about under large, shade providing parasols.  Almost out of frame an elegant old manor house could be seen, obviously filled with merry guests. On discovering practically all the painting people spent their summer holidays in one mural all the other, Lois had wisely started memorising the picture frames rather than the subjects to help her find her way.  It was slow going, but she was getting there.

Her only other real problem was the robes.  She had not yet ventured to Hogsmeade; she didn't really want to go alone and Harry wasn't allowed out of the castle unless an adult wizard accompanied him.  Sadly she didn't quite have the nerve to ask Severus to come with her on what was basically a shopping trip.  It had been her experience that most men hated clothes buying expeditions and she doubted male wizards were any different.  Consequently, if she wanted to wear robes Lois had to use her mother's, which the house-elves had efficiently cleaned and returned to her room the same day she had arrived back with them.  Unfortunately, although the robes fitted perfectly in the body, her guess from the photographs had been correct - her mother had been slightly taller than she was.  As a result the hem of the robes dragged along the floor and she was constantly at risk of falling down any one of Hogwarts many stone steps.  Not only that, she hated how restrictive they were - not tight because the robes were as loose and flowing as everyone else's, it was just that they covered her so completely from the neck down.  The yards of material swamping her, bothered her immensely and she was constantly yanking at the high choking neckline and pushing the sleeves impatiently up her arms, only to have them fall back down seconds later.

She had taken therefore to wearing muggle clothing and luckily after speaking to Dumbledore, she had been pleased to learn that robes were not compulsory for the staff, simply customary.  He had warned her though in his normal kindly manner, that she might feel less conspicuous and therefore settle in quicker, if she wore robes at least some of the time.  Lois had taken his gentle hint to heart and wore the robes as often as she could bear to.

Term was due to begin in four days time and Hugo Quade, the temporary Care of Magical Creatures professor and Poppy Pomfrey had both arrived that morning. Lois had yet to meet Quade but had managed a short meeting with Poppy; as term was so close she had asked if Lois would mind if she spent tomorrow readying the Infirmary for the arrival of the students and then the two of them could really get down to work.  Lois had happily agreed, relieved to find Poppy almost as eager to begin training as Lois was. 

They were now only waiting for the arrival of Professor Roupe for a full teaching compliment.  As it was uncertain whether Roupe would be able to arrive until the very last minute, the meal to officially welcome the staff back had been set for tonight.

Lois, as usual, was worried about finding her way to the private dining room they would be eating in and Snape had uncommonly kindly offered to meet her in the entrance foyer.  She had unhappily donned one of her mothers robes for the event, knowing that if she didn't she would stand out like a sore thumb.  Unfortunately the robe, like all the others, was slightly too long on her and she had almost fallen twice simply trying to leave her room.  Noticing she was nearly late, she hoisted the long hem in her hands and dashed off to meet Snape; she suspected he might well leave without her if she didn't get there on time.  She arrived in a breathless rush to find Snape, standing with his arms folded across his chest, tapping his foot impatiently at the bottom of the long staircase.

'Finally.'  He said in a growling voice.  'Is there a genetic flaw men are unaware of that renders women incapable of being anywhere on time?'

'I'm a minute late Severus!'  Lois said annoyed at his chauvinism.

'And as I arrived ten minutes early to ensure _you_ were not inconvenienced, I have consequently had to stand here for the last eleven minutes waiting for you.' 

'Oh, well thanks for that.'  Lois said resentfully.  'But you can't really blame me – you just admitted you were ten minutes early after all.'

'As ever, no good dead goes unpunished.'  Snape quoted sarcastically.

Lois decided it was time to change the subject before he sank into a mood that would blight the whole evening.  'So, Severus, do I look alright in these?'  She asked nervously still dreadfully uncomfortable in the wretched robes.

She instantly wished she hadn't mentioned it when she was subjected to Snape's thorough study of her slim form.  When he had finally examined her from the top of her gleaming hair, which was worn loose tonight, to the tips of her hidden toes, her stomach was tingling warmly and her mouth was dry.  As her heart began to thump uncomfortably against her chest wall, his eyes finally rose back up to hers to deliver his assessment.  

'The robes are too large for you.'

'Thanks for that morale booster!'  Lois said wrathfully, her heated emotions immediately taking a backseat to her pique.

'I'm sorry, did you want me to lie?'  He asked calmly.

'No, I wanted you to gloss over the bad parts and exaggerate wildly about the good ones!'

He smirked slightly and Lois realised he was paying her back for making him wait – he was such an irritating swine she thought, torn between amusement and annoyance.  

'Very well.'  He said before taking a deep breath and continuing in a falsely fawning tone.  'Achelois, you look absolutely stunning, a vision of rare beauty unsurpassed by any I have ever seen before, or will ever see again.  Your hair is a fragrant, silken waterfall that seems to shine with a million lights gleaming from within.  Everything I have known before pales in comparison with the utter perfection of your exquisite face - your eyes bluer and more tranquil than the deepest lagoon and the softest peach would seem harsh and dull in contrast to your flawless skin.  While your robe _is_ a little large for you, it is practically unnoticeable due to the sheer blinding radiance of your presence.  All in all Mrs Scott, a finer creature I cannot imagine.'

Towards the very end of the speech his voice had changed from its original ironic drawl, becoming slightly gruffer and deeper and Lois was suddenly aware of how difficult the simple act of breathing really was.  She gave a half laugh, which sounded odd to her own ears and stepped away from him.  

'See, now that's what I was talking about.'  She said in a forcedly jolly voice breaking the spell his words had created.  They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment before Snape gave a mocking half bow and indicated she should precede him down the corridor.  

On reaching their destination, Lois stepped past Snape into the full dinning room noticing they seemed to be the last to arrive.  Before she had chance to exchange a single greeting, she was pounced on by Filius Flitwick, eager to discover how she was getting along with the charms book he had lent her the day before.  Lois had fully expected Snape to abandon her the second she was safely delivered and was pleasantly surprised when he stuck by her side as the staff mingled, chatting desultory while enjoying pre-dinner drinks.  Standing in a corner with Snape, Lois was laughing at some snarky comment he had just made about Trelawney, when she looked up a smile still on her lips into her husbands face.  

Lois gave a shocked gasp, jumping guiltily away from Snape's side, staring at the man across the room as though she had seen a ghost, which of course if it really were him, she had.  As her heart slowly returned to her chest from its new position lodged in her throat, she began to breath again, realising as the stranger turned his head in response to some question Professor McGonagall was asking him that the likeness to David had been only superficial.

His height and muscular build were certainly correct, but on closer inspection there were many slight differences.  While his hair was almost the same tousled blond, it didn't have the streaks of gold David's had had from the many hours he spent outdoors.  His eyes _were_ blue, but not the friendly glinting sky blue of her husbands and this man's chin in comparison seemed weaker, less determined.  His age too was wrong, she saw as he stepped fully into the glow of a nearby candle – he was probably in his forties as opposed to David who, if had been alive would still have been only in his late twenties.  She breathed a sigh of relief chiding herself for her stupidity.  At least he hadn't noticed, she realised thankfully, only then remembering the person standing next to her who obviously had noticed her strange reaction judging by the raised eyebrows and questioning stare.

'Do you know him?'  Snape demanded suspiciously a hard gleam in his eyes.

'No, of course not.'  Lois replied truthfully.

'You certainly acted as though you did.'  He retorted, his glance roving swiftly between the other man and herself.  Lois groaned inwardly, unwilling to expose her stupidity but knowing Snape would not rest until she had given him some kind of explanation.

'He… for a moment I thought he looked like someone I knew, that's all.'

He impaled her with a gimlet-eyed stare, obviously not happy with her half-truth.  'Fine!' She relented. 'I thought he was David – my husband.'  She added as he looked at her blankly.

His eyes shot back over to the stranger, assessing and cold.  'Your husband was older than you was he?'  

'No.' Lois said patiently, desperately wanting to change the topic.  'That was one of the many reasons I immediately saw I was mistaken.'

'I see.'  Snape said like a dog with a bone. 'I must confess, seeing what he looked like has made me curious as to what attracted you to him in the first place; was it the fact that you had so much in common, or purely because of his looks?'  He asked in a critical tone.

'Severus!'  Lois said surprised.  'What's the matter with you?' She asked realising that his dark stare had gained the man's attention, who was she noticed worriedly, now looking curiously over at the two of them.

'There is nothing the matter with me Lois, I have simply always been interested in human relationships - what attracts one person to another, as opposed to any one of a million other possible matches. I suppose if I had given it any thought, that would be precisely the type of man I would have expected you to have chosen.'  He said in a coldly analytical voice.  

Lois looked across and was alarmed to see the mystery man approaching them.  'Be quiet!'  She hissed angrily at Snape as he opened his mouth again.  She quickly plastered a pleasant smile on her face in greeting as he arrived at their side.

'How do you do?'  He said smiling at them both.  'I thought I'd better come over and say hello, I don't think you were here when Professor Dumbledore introduced me around earlier – I'm Hugo Quade, temporary Care of Magical Creatures Professor.'

'Lois Scott.'  Lois replied shaking his hand.  Up close he was practically as tall as Snape, but apart from that they were as different as night and day, Quade's open friendliness making Snape appear even darker and more brooding than usual.  'I'm due to start training under Madam Pomfrey soon and this is Severus Snape, Hogwarts Potions Master and Head of Slytherin House.'  She added when Snape made no attempt to join the conversation.

'Well you two seemed to be in the middle of a rather intense conversation.'  Quade said when the silence began to be awkward.  'I hope I'm not interrupting anything?'

'No, of course not.'  Lois said apologetically.

'As a matter of fact,' she heard Snape's silky voice interrupt with dread.  'You were actually the topic of our discussion.'

'I was?'  Quade said surprised.  'And may I ask to what I owe that honour?'

'Oh nothing …' Lois said hurriedly only to be interrupted by Snape again with a devilish gleam in his eyes.

'Actually, Lois here practically fainted away at the sight of you; it seems you bear an uncanny resemblance to her husband.'

'Really?' The other professor smiled. 'And will I get to meet my incredibly lucky doppelganger this evening?'  He asked looking around the room, before refocusing on Lois with a warmly appreciative glance.

Snape seemed to tire suddenly of his baiting at Quade's flirting manner and said in an arctic voice.  'Very doubtful as the man in question is dead.'

Lois drew in a sharp breath in shock at his harsh words and was unable to meet Quade's embarrassed eyes.

'I do apologise.'  He said sincerely.  'I had no idea or I would never have…'

'Really, there's nothing to apologise for.'  Lois said rushing into speech.  'It was a long time ago now and truly the resemblance _was_ only very fleeting.'

He nodded obviously relieved, a sympathetic expression on his face which became speculative as he noticed Snape's tense features.

'If you gentleman will excuse me.'  Lois said politely.  'I must just speak with Professor McGonagall for a moment.  It was nice to meet you Professor Quade.'  She said with an attempt at a genuine smile.

'Please call me Hugo,' he insisted.  'It will take me a while to get used to being addressed as Professor by the students, and it'll be much easier if my colleagues at least stick to first names.'

Lois nodded and smiled again before shooting Snape a killing glare and heading blindly off into the noisy throng.

Lois chatted brightly with Professor McGonagall, but later would have no recollection of a single word spoken.  She was still in a state of shock over Snape's behaviour; what on earth had gotten into him?  If she hadn't known better she would have thought it was jealously, but that was definitely one emotion she would never associate with him.  She could only assume his bad mood had been brought on by having to attend this shindig tonight; she knew he avoided the school's social gatherings wherever possible because he had told her so himself however, this was not an event he could have reasonably missed.  Not that that was any excuse for the way he had behaved she thought again angrily.  She was shaken from her musings by Minerva's hand on her arm, informing her they were about to go through to dinner.  Lois followed behind the others, taking a seat at the far end of the long table.  She looked up as someone pulled out the chair at her left.

'I'm not talking to you.'  She whispered in a cold voice as Snape sat down next to her.

He sighed deeply.  'I want to apologise for my behaviour earlier.'

'And that makes it all okay?'  She said annoyed, but keeping her voice soft so no one else would be able to listen in on their conversation.

'I rather thought that was the whole point of apologising.'

'Don't get clever with me Severus.'  She warned.  'You're the one in trouble here.'

He sighed again. 'I _am_ sorry.  I've had an absolutely foul day and having to come to this bloody thing was the icing on the cake, but that's no excuse; I shouldn't have said what I did.'  He admitted in a sincere voice.

'No you shouldn't.'  Try as she might, Lois had always had great difficulty in holding a grudge and now that he seemed genuinely regretful, her anger was deflating like a burst balloon.  She didn't want to make it too easy for him though.  'Thanks to you, every time I talk to him for the rest of the year I'm going to feel awkward.  He'll probably think I fancy him now you've told him he looks like David.'  She groaned in embarrassment.

'And are you?'  He questioned casually.

'Am I what?'  She asked bewildered by the apparent subject change.

'Attracted to him?'  He said purposely avoiding her gaze.

'I don't know.' She said impatiently.  'I spoke to him for all of two minutes, during which time the only thought running through my head was the desperate wish that the ground would open up and swallow me whole!'  

She did know though she admitted silently; the answer was a most definite no, which was actually vaguely surprising.  Although the resemblance wasn't as great as she had first thought Hugo Quade was still very physically similar to her husband, so one would assume there would be a spark of attraction for that reason alone but, Lois realised the new Professor left her completely cold, unlike the bad tempered beast sitting next to her right now who merely nodded at her response, placing his napkin over his lap as the first course appeared. 

Looking at him from under her lashes, Lois saw that he seemed unusually forbidding, even for him.  She wondered if perhaps there _had_ been an element of jealousy in his words.  The idea caused a sharp leap of excitement, which she did her best to suppress.  She risked another sideways glance, oddly awkward about being caught watching him, only to find him with the same scowling expression on his face that he had had when looking at Quade, except this time it was directed at Alastor Moody who was chatting with Dumbledore.  She shook her head in wry amusement, not jealously then she mocked her own arrogance, _like you're so irresistible Lois_, unless of course that dark glower meant he was jealous of Moody too.  It must just have been the usual Severus ill humour worsened, as he had said himself, by a bad day she realised feeling slightly disappointed. 

Lois sighed silently, blinking in surprise as Snape nudged her arm slightly indicating that everyone else was eating.  She looked down at her soup; it smelt delicious and she resolutely shook off her unsettling thoughts as the last of her anger melted away in the quiet pleasure of good food and interesting dining companions.  

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**   The Pogrebin comes from Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them and Apage Desperandum should mean – begone despair.  Whether it actually _does_ is another matter entirely. 

And thanks again folks for your wonderfully heartening feedback - it's a shame there's no little box to click to go and review reviewers; you all deserve oodles of it!


	14. Lies, Damn Lies and Skeetistics

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

'How did the dinner go last night?' Harry asked as the two of them sat by the edge of the lake, Lois with her toes dangling in the cool water, while Harry lazily threw bits of bread from the cheese sandwich he was eating to the giant squid.  She hadn't wanted to eat lunch inside today; it was too nice.  After mentioning it to Harry, he had taken her down to the kitchens where he had introduced her to his friend Dobby, who along with the other house-elves had quickly produced a picnic large enough for ten.

'It was okay,' Lois admitted and actually it had been.  No further mention had been made about Quade and Lois and Snape had managed to finish the evening on speaking terms.

'What's the new Professor like?' Harry asked interestedly.

'Quade?'

'Yeah.'

'I didn't really get much chance to talk to him,' Lois said, still cringing when she remembered their introduction.  'He seemed nice enough though.'

'I bet he's not as nice as Professor Lupin though is he?' Harry asked, a matchmaking gleam in his bright green eyes that Lois had no intention of disabusing him of.

'No, I definitely like Remus,' she said honestly.  'Thank goodness, because Moody's a bit scary; I wouldn't have much fancied one-on-one tutoring sessions with him,' she shivered.  Although Harry had warned her about Alastor Moody, meeting him had still been a big surprise.  She knew all about the impostor who had taken his place last year, and Moody's penchant for "_constant vigilance_" appeared to have increased tenfold following the incident.  His one magical, wildly spinning eye seemed to be jet powered and he was constantly reaching for his wand while searching the shadows for attackers.

'Yeah,' Harry agreed, 'even worse than being stuck on your own with Snape,' he grimaced. 'And _that's_ saying something.' 

'Harry, be nice,' Lois scolded, 'he only ever says good things about you.'

'He does?' he asked incredulously.

'Certainly, in fact when I told him what we had planned for lunch today he insisted on coming along.  He said I could run through some potions theory out here and he'd go over your summer homework assignment with you; to give you chance to redo it if you need to before term starts,' she said in a tone of voice that implied Snape was bestowing a great favour.

'Oh no,' Harry muttered, looking frantically around and stuffing the remainder of his sandwich hastily into his mouth with one hand, while grabbing a cake with the other.  'Sorry Lois,' he mumbled around a full mouth, 'gotta go.  Tell Snape I never came okay?' he said in the process of levering himself up when he saw her huge grin.  'Wait a minute – when would you have even had time to tell him?' he said with dawning realisation.  'Lo-is!  He didn't say that at all did he? That's a dirty trick, threatening Snape, and while I'm eating as well,' he grumbled, sinking back down onto the blanket with a relieved huff of breath.

'Sorry,' she laughed, 'I couldn't resist and it didn't seem to affect your appetite _too_ badly,' she said nodding at his hand, which was now clutching a completely smooshed éclair, a casualty of his desperate dash for freedom. 

'Ughh,' he groused pulling his arm back to lob the destroyed pastry out to the squid, before rinsing his sticky hand in the lake.

'I'll remember this,' he warned, but with a slight grin on his face showing he wasn't really annoyed.

Lois shook her head in resigned exasperation, wondering how the two people she liked best at Hogwarts could be so blind to each others good points.  

'Are you looking forward to term starting?' she asked as Harry selected another cake, aware that he must be missing the company of friends his own age.  He had headed off to meet up with Ron and Hermione last week at Diagon Alley, under Mr & Mrs Weasley's strict supervision.  Lois had been invited but had declined not wanting to intrude on his limited time with his friends; she would meet them soon enough anyway.  Luckily, Harry had very kindly offered to buy the items she would need for the upcoming term and changed some muggle money for her at Gringotts.   

'Yes,' he agreed with a sigh.  'It's much better here than with the Dursleys, but I'm not used to having all of Gryffindor tower to myself - it's more lonely just because it normally isn't, do you know what I mean?' he asked, aware of his convoluted reasoning.

Lois nodded reaching over to grab a chicken leg from the hamper.  'I do,' she consoled, 'but it won't be long now.  And I want you to think back to this conversation when it's the middle of winter and you've got twelve foot of combined parchments to get ready for classes the next day; you won't remember why you were in such a hurry for term to start then!'

Harry laughed, lounging back on the blanket they were sitting on, levering himself immediately upright again with a pained yelp.

'Are you okay?' Lois asked concerned.

Harry reached into the back pocket of his trousers and pulled out part of a folded newspaper that had obviously jabbed him, with a grimace.  'Yeah, just forgot I had this,' he muttered unfolding it.  'Ron owled it to me last week and I've been meaning to give it to you for days,' he said passing the newspaper over.

Lois took it from him noting it was dated not long after she had arrived at Hogwarts.  She stared for a moment, awed as she always was by the moving wizarding pictures it contained.  'What am I supposed to be reading?' she asked her eyes skimming over mundane news items and Quidditch scores.  

Harry reclaimed the paper and examined it before turning it over, giving a satisfied grunt when he found what he was looking for.  'Here it is,' he scowled handing it back.  'You're famous Lois.'

Lois warily looked down at the article he was referring to.  There was no picture attached to it, but the huge headline made it noticeable enough.  

**DUMBLEDORE'S  RECRUITMENT  DRIVE**

**By Rita Skeeter**

_Exclusive Ministry sources have revealed to me today that Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, has made yet another bizarre appointment to this years school staff.  Dumbledore, who apparently still has no restrictions placed upon his authority by the Ministry of Magic, despite last years horrifying incident involving Barty Crouch (both senior and junior), has this term enticed the last surviving Eadon to return to her wizarding roots._

_Achelois Eadon (or Lois as she now prefers to be called) was cruelly raised as a muggle following the tragic death of her mother Niahm Eadon at the infamous Monkswood raid of 1972.  As some of our older readers will remember, all six mediwizards in attendance - including Niahm's twin brother Niall - were killed when You-Know-Who's Death Eaters returned to the scene.  The area had earlier been declared safe by none other than Hogwarts own returning staff member, the unhinged ex-Auror, Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody._

_This reporter wonders whether Miss Eadon is aware of her co-workers pivotal role in the negligent actions that contributed to the death of both her mother and uncle. Some say an argument could also be made to lay a third death at his door - distraught at the loss of his children, Conall Eadon was himself dead less than three months later in suspicious circumstances.  While official reports cited murder during a Death Eater raid, rumours have always persisted that the unbalanced Eadon took his own life following unsuccessful treatment for depression._

_With the return now of Miss Eadon, a request for special dispensation has been made to the Ministry by Dumbledore to allow her to begin training under Hogwarts Matron, Madam Poppy Pomfrey, without fully qualifying as a witch first.  This unprecedented move however, may not be the simple act of altruism it first appears to be.   Dumbledore, who is already out of favour with some corners of the Ministry, is gaining no friends with his recent attempts at scare mongering. The unconventional Headmaster maintains that the Dark Lord has returned and is urging the vulnerable pupils under his care to carry the message home.  According to an ex-school governor, Dumbledore's insane obsession is causing him to shirk his responsibility to the school, while busily rallying like-minded troops in preparation for battle.  If this is the case, why did he spend time seeking out the muggle raised Eadon and then take her firmly under his wing?  Does she perhaps have a place in his future plans that we know nothing about?  If so, he is keeping it strictly under his hat and refused to comment when questioned by a Daily Prophet reporter._

_Are any of his insane claims true? It seems highly doubtful.  The most likely explanation, is that the past-his-prime Headmaster is simply trying to recreate his glory days following his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945 and is heartlessly scaring an undeserving wizarding community in an attempt to do so._

**

'This is all wrong!' Lois declared hotly.  'Dumbledore didn't find me, you did!  And my grandfather didn't kill himself, the Headmaster would have told me!  And what about all these lies she's telling about Dumbledore, making him looks like some egotistical halfwit?  She hasn't even got my name right,' she finished morosely poking the offending article out of her sight.

'It could have been worse,' Harry said with remembered bitterness.  'You should have seen what she wrote about me last year - I was a laughing stock; Hermione should have left her a bug,' he mumbled, shaking his head dismissively when Lois looked at him questioningly.  'At least yours doesn't really say anything _bad_ about you,' he tried to comfort.

'It isn't good though; I look like some tragic little orphan Annie - I had a wonderful childhood!  "Cruelly raised as a muggle," she muttered angrily. 

Harry nodded agreeing.  'What about the stuff about Moody?' he asked cautiously.  'Do you think it's true?'

'I doubt a single word that woman has ever written is true,' Lois said in disgust. 'Anyway, even if it was, it's hardly as though he did it on purpose is it?' she asked pragmatically.  

'So you're not angry?'  

'Of course not,' Lois said in real surprise.  'He was only doing his job, it was the Death Eaters that killed my mom, not him, or whoever it was that cleared the area.'  

But as they headed back to the castle later that afternoon, she couldn't help but wish Harry had forgotten to show her that newspaper article altogether.

***

Early the following morning Lois stood examining herself critically in the long bedroom mirror.  She was wearing one of her mother's robes again, this time in plain black, her hair pinned neatly at her neck.  Her intention was to look as efficiently witch-like as possible for her first day with Poppy Pomfrey and this was the closest she could get.  She would have been far happier in her nurses uniform; the comfortable familiarity would have given a much needed boost of confidence and helped to still the nervous rolling of her stomach.  She pulled a face at her reflection; time was ticking and standing here gawping at herself would accomplish nothing, she thought, quickly heading out of her room and down the short corridor that led to the Infirmary.  Pushing the large door open she walked in to find Poppy leaving her office, a welcoming smile appearing on her face when she spotted the younger woman.

'Lois, good you're here!' she said.  'Are you looking forward to this?' she asked in a friendly tone and Lois felt her nerves begin settle with the older woman's warm manner. 

'I'm a little nervous,' Lois admitted. 'This is a pretty big change to what I'm used to.'

'I'm sure it is,' Poppy comforted, 'but we're both in the same line of work after all, just different methods.'

'I'll say,' Lois laughed. 'I imagine muggle medicine must seem very primitive to wizards?' she asked.

'It's true lots of wizards tend to scorn what muggles have accomplished, medicine included, but I've always been amazed with what they can do without magic,' Poppy confided.  'And of course I've always kept a particularly interested eye on the developments in muggle medicine.'  

'I'm surprised,' Lois confessed. 'From what I've seen and from the small amount Professor Dumbledore and Severus have told me, wizards are far more advanced than us.'

'That's true enough, but all of our skills rely on magic; we heal injuries with spells, our potions and medicines are made using magical ingredients and methods.  If we lost our powers we'd be like babes in the wood, but muggles have managed to cure so many diseases and progressed so far with nothing but their own ingenuity… marvellous, just marvellous.  Now,' she said in a more business like tone, 'tea first I think and then we can get started.'

Five minutes later Lois found herself comfortably ensconced in a large chair in Poppy's office.  The older woman settled herself opposite her in a matching chair and gave a pleasurable sigh.  'I always look forward to the summer holidays but after the first week or two, I'm itching to get back,' she admitted.  'So Lois, Albus tells me you worked as a muggle nurse?' she probed.

'Yes I'm a… I _was_ a senior staff nurse, an RSCN, which means I specialised in children's nursing.  My last post was on a seventeen bed children's medical ward.'

'All ages?' Poppy questioned.

'Three to sixteen year olds, mostly general medical cases; cystic fibrosis, diabetes, blood disorders, that type of thing, but also some surgery and oncology patients.'  

'How long are the children in hospital for?' Poppy questioned.

'Varies.  Some of the really poorly children can be with us for months, but we had facilities for a parent to stay with them if they want so it isn't too frightening.  Children's wards aren't as regimented as normal hospital wards,' Lois explained, 'which is partly why I like it so much; there aren't any set visiting hours or strict bed times or nap times as such.  We try to make it as pleasant as possible for the kids, although there _is_ a hospital school for long-term stays, which no one is pleased to hear about,' she said with a smile.  

'What made you choose children's nursing?' Poppy questioned.  'I don't know how muggles manage to watch children suffering and not be able to heal them.  I know magic can't cure everything,' she admitted, 'but we can fix most things.'

'I know, it's not easy sometimes,' Lois admitted.  'I told you we had oncology patients on our ward, which is especially tough; a lot of the time the families are having more difficulty accepting it than the children.  Some days I must confess I wonder if it's worth it, but never for long.  It _is_ worth it and there's nothing better than seeing a child recover and go home well and happy.  Plus I'm always busy, which I like - there's certainly no time to be bored!' she smiled wryly.

'Well,' Poppy said, 'I can't promise you'll be quite as busy here, but I'm sure you won't be bored.' 

'No,' Lois agreed, 'I won't have time - this will be like starting from scratch.'

'It's not quite that bad,' Poppy insisted. 'In fact, although you'll obviously need to do a lot of catch up work on the magical areas, you've already got a head start on the majority of trainee mediwizards.'

'I have?'

'Yes, to qualify as a mediwizard there are three main areas of study: healing magic, healing potions, and anatomy and physiology – you can't repair the human body if you don't know how it works,' she pointed out reasonably.  'Of course as you're a nurse, you'll already know most of that, which means we'll be mainly concentrating on healing magic and the use of magical preparations.  I think it would be better to focus initially on magical preparations until you're a little further along with your charms classes with Filius.  I've spoken to him about it and he seems to think that after a few more weeks work on basic charms, we can start concentrating on healing magic.  Does that sound okay?' she asked Lois who nodded, glad Poppy wasn't about to throw her in at the deep end.

'My wand,' Lois remembered suddenly, 'Filius said to ask you about it.'

'Yes he mentioned it,' Poppy said.  'He tells me it suits you perfectly as far as he's seen?'

'I _think_ so,' Lois agreed.  'Of course it's the only wand I've ever used, so I've got nothing to compare it with.  He did say mediwizards only use certain types though?'

'Yes, the magical core used is unicorn tail or phoenix feather, because of the healing properties of both animals.  Your mother's wand would definitely have used one of those, so we might as well wait until you actually start using it and if we have any problems, we'll arrange a visit to Ollivander's to choose your own.'

Lois nodded feeling vaguely relieved.  She liked the fact she could use her mother's wand, it felt nice somehow to have a connection to her.  Not only that she had already become quite fond of it; it felt right in her hands.

'So, do you have different branches of medical magic?' she asked taking a sip of her tea.  'I mean in the muggle world, medicine is separated into different specialities and disciplines.'

'Not as such,' Poppy replied.  'Basically a fully trained mediwizard can treat all conditions apart from psychiatric, but there _are_ different skill grades based on your training and experience.  Most illnesses can be dealt with in a mediwizard surgery, or at the scene if it's an accident, but some diseases and magical injuries need longer treatments and for that a patient would go to St Mungo's Hospital.  Now hospital mediwizards _do_ specialise because they have to treat dark illness and injuries, the type of things that aren't easily curable, or in some cases, can't be cured at all.'

'I see,' Lois said with a shiver.  'So how do you actually diagnose a patient?'  

'Spells for the main, but first you have to assess the patient's condition and symptoms.  Once you have a good idea of what the most likely problem is, you use the appropriate spell to pinpoint the cause and then the correct healing spell to cure it.  Smaller wounds and external injuries often only require a topical preparation to heal them and again, it's just a matter of experience and training in assessing the injury and deciding on the appropriate treatment.'

'Is that all there is to it?' Lois asked.  'Couldn't any wizard just learn the spells to be a mediwizard then?' 

'No, no,' Poppy said quickly.  'It's not that easy.  As with most things, with enough time and effort it _can_ be learnt, but like all other branches of magic, you'll do best at what you have a natural aptitude for. A sensible wizard, unless he was very powerful, wouldn't attempt to heal any but the most trivial injury.  It's too risky; you're dealing with the human body, a mispronounced word or an incorrect spell could cause huge problems, even death.  Although saying that, there isn't a wizard past the age of seventeen who doesn't think he can heal a broken bone,' she snorted disparagingly, 'which generally just means more work for me, and more pain for the patient.  If you don't get it exactly right, at best the limb will always ache and be weak and eventually you'll just have to remove the bone and regrow it completely, which is more painful than breaking it in the first place.'

Lois nodded slowly.  The consequences of a tiny mistake in mediwizardry were certainly more serious than in normal medicine, she realised with a tinge of worry.

'Right,' Poppy said briskly, 'let me tell you what I actually do here.  First and foremost I have a policy of  "Don't ask, don't tell."  Children, as I'm sure you'll agree, are notoriously inquisitive and unfortunately most of them have almost no sense of fear, especially the boys, which results in a lot of broken bones and visits to the Infirmary suffering the effects of illicit potions and spells gone wrong.  Oh, the Headmaster knows practically everything that goes on here,' she assured Lois, 'but if the children think they can't trust me not to tell on them, they won't come to me when something serious happens and _that's_ when it gets dangerous.'

'I can imagine,' Lois said honestly.

'There's also an intense rivalry between the Houses - too much in my opinion,' she said with a sniff.  'Children need to have certain level of competitiveness to keep them interested, but they take it too far.  Especially the Gryffindors and Slytherins,' she said with a dark look. 'The number of times I've had children in here with hexes they can't undo or just plain old bloody knuckles from fighting,' she shook her head in aggrieved fashion before continuing.  'The next biggest cause of injury is accidents in classes.  Learning to be a witch or a wizard involves a great deal of practical work and you can't learn without making mistakes, so I get a fair number of magical reversals to take care off.  Last, but not least, there's also quite a bit of simple mothering.  At the start of every year I'm inundated with tummy aches and temperatures that are more often than not just children feeling homesick.  Eleven is very young to be living away from home and it hits some of them harder than others.'

'It all sounds like a lot of work for one person,' Lois said impressed.

'Sometimes it is, which is one of the reasons I'm so glad you're here,' she answered with a smile.  'Plus I must confess, I'm quite excited about working with Niahm Eadon's daughter.'

'You knew my mom?'  Lois asked nervously, hoping Poppy wasn't expecting her to have some kind of untapped genius for mediwizardry. 

'No, but I know about the Eadons of course,' she said with a smile at Lois.  'One of the foremost healers the wizarding world ever had,' noticing the daunted expression that crossed Lois's face at her words she said kindly, 'I suppose that must be a bit intimidating, having a reputation like that to live up to?'

Lois nodded grateful the other woman understood.  'A little,' she agreed with a slight laugh.  'I've never exactly been top of my class in my studies,' she admitted.  'Don't get me wrong, I'm good at what I do, but it didn't come without effort.  I always wanted to work in medicine, but everything I've achieved came with hard work, not some innate ability.'

'Ah,' Poppy said as though some mystery had been cleared up.  'Albus explained to you about your family's abilities?'

Lois nodded unhappily.  'I really don't think I inherited them,' she insisted.  Somehow, even amidst all the weirdness she had been exposed to since discovering she was a witch, this was still just a little _too_ weird.

'You don't think, or you don't want?' Poppy asked intuitively.

Lois let out a deep breath and gave a slight tilt of her head in agreement.  'Don't want I suppose.  Anyway,' she hurried on, 'the Headmaster said being empathic would be an advantage.  From what you've told me, being a mediwizard only needs skill with a wand and knowing what potion to use - how would it even help?'

'Well, when one of the children comes to see me they're able to tell me what's wrong with them – cough, cold, broken bones, dragon bites,' she tutted darkly.  'But if the injury or illness is more serious they may not know what's wrong with them, or if they're unconscious they won't be able to tell me.  _That's_ when having empathic skills would be invaluable. Normally at that point I'd have to cast spells over the entire body to find the cause of the problem, which can be a slow and laborious task and wastes valuable time.  If you _did_ inherit your families abilities, with training you should be able to instantly hone in on the site of the problem without having to look for it.'   

'That doesn't sound too bad,' Lois admitted, for the first time not shying away from the possibility of having empathic abilities.

'Also apparently, if the connection with the patient is particularly strong, you may even be able to heal less serious ailments with a touch.'

'Yes Professor Dumbledore mentioned that,' Lois said vaguely, seeing no point in bringing up Harry's claims at this point. She would wait and see what happened once her training began; there was no point borrowing trouble.

'The empathic skills we know about of course, because people saw them being used over the years,' Poppy continued, 'the rest of the story's were really only ever rumours and after your family… passed away,' she said carefully.  'I think they just became more exaggerated over the years.'

'What rumours?'  Lois asked warily.

'Oh,'  Poppy said surprised, 'I thought you already knew.  Well, mostly that along with the healing the Eadons could read minds and emotions with a touch, that sort of thing.' 

Lois laughed relieved.  'I think we can safely rule _that_ out,' she grinned.  'I doubt there's a person I've ever met that I haven't touched, and I've never had a single blinding flash of otherworldly knowledge.  Might have been nice though,' she said thoughtfully, imagining not having to guess what Severus was thinking before giving a little shudder - maybe not, she didn't think she was quite ready for that.

Poppy smiled too. 'Well as I said just gossip, something the wizarding world thrives on as you'll soon come to learn.' 

'I've noticed,' Lois said in a gloomy voice, before concentrating on Poppy once more.  'You were telling me about how you worked?' she reminded.

'Oh yes, well for the main the Infirmary is completely self-sufficient thanks to Professor Sprout and Professor Snape - they're the two people we overlap most with in the school; Sorrel provides us with the ingredients for the potions and ointments and Severus brews them.  I understand you've only had Severus for company for most of the summer?' Poppy broke off to say.  'He hasn't been causing you too many problems I hope?' she asked in a resigned voice, as though expecting Lois to have a long list of complaints ready.

'No, no,' Lois answered honestly. 'We had a few hiccups at the beginning but we're getting along fine now.'

'Really?' Poppy said in a very surprised tone.  'He hasn't been rude to you?'

'Is he ever anything other?' Lois laughed. 

'I suppose not,' Poppy replied with a fond small.  'Actually I've always had rather a soft spot for young Severus.  I hadn't been at Hogwarts very long myself when he started here.  Such a dark, scowling little creature he was; my first patient of the year as well – brought up to the Infirmary on only the second day with a broken nose after starting a fight with a third year Gryffindor twice his size,' she remembered with a disbelieving shake of her head.  'And that wasn't the last time I had to patch him up by a long shot.  I regularly had him and Sirius and James in here after brawling or duelling.  I have no doubt Severus was to blame for most of it, but there was just something about him that got to me; so proud and arrogant, even as a frightened first year. Although from what I know about his parents that wasn't surprising - a couple of colder fishes you'd be hard pushed to find,' she tutted disapprovingly.  

'I can't picture him like that,' Lois said, enthralled and saddened by this glimpse into his past.

'No, well,' Poppy said, suddenly seeming to realise how much he would hate it if he knew what she was disclosing about his childhood.  'It would be hard to imagine him as a little boy now unless you knew him back then I suppose,' she finished diplomatically. 'It's strange having Remus and him back here all grown up – how the years do fly by, makes me feel positively ancient,' she said with a smile. 'And both of them so talented too: Remus in the dark arts and Severus such a wonderful potions master - incredibly gifted.  He saves Hogwarts an absolute fortune in store brought supplies for the Infirmary.  Of course the only downside is that he has to make them on a smaller scale so they don't taste as palatable.  Still they do the same job and the nasty taste's gone in a minute,' she said with a satisfied nod.

'I had to have a Pain Potion from Severus when I arrived here,' Lois said surprised.  'I didn't think it tasted bad, in fact I don't think it really had a taste at all,' she said her brow crinkling in recollection.

'That little rotter!' Poppy stormed.  'I _knew_ he was doing it on purpose!  _"Simply not possible to improve the taste in batches this small Poppy; the amount of_ _flavouring needed would spoil the potency of the potion.  You wouldn't want to give the students inferior quality medicines would you?"_   I should have known!  You just wait until I see him!' she raged.

Lois winced cursing her big mouth.  Severus was going to kill her for this. 'Umm Poppy,' she said cautiously, 'if you should decide to… _talk_ to him about this, do you think you could not mention me?'

***

Pushing her quill aside, Lois stood stretching cramped muscles that had formed while sitting hunched over her books on the long sofa in Snape's private sitting room.  In addition to her continuing potions lessons, Severus had also begun tutoring her on the trickier aspects of history of magic.  Lois had initially been looking forward to beginning this class knowing as little about the wizarding world as she did, but had very quickly realised her mistake.  Although Harry had tried to warn her that Professor Binns was dull, words simply did not exist in the human language to do justice to just how mind-numbingly tedious he was.  After only her second lesson, she had known she couldn't stand a single one more.  She had decided she would simply have to continue her studies using textbooks alone, when Severus's offer of assistance had been made and she had nearly snatched his hand off in eagerness.

The lessons had initially been tagged onto the end of her potions classes, but three days ago after catching her wearily suppressing a yawn and shifting uncomfortably on the hard wooden stool in the dungeon, Lois had been pleasantly surprised when Snape had suggested that as no equipment was needed, they may as well use his rooms to study in.  Considering how dank and depressing the dungeons were, Severus's private quarters were unexpectedly cosy.  Dark, certainly, having no windows, but his chambers had none of the musty dampness of his classroom and were instead warm and comfortingly cave-like, lit by soft lamps and flickering candles.  Collecting her books together, Lois looked over at her companion who had risen when she did.

'Are you still going to have time for this when term starts?' she asked him worried she would be putting him out, but realised the foolishness of her question almost as soon as she asked it.  Going on previous behaviour, she had no doubt he would tell her the second she was becoming a nuisance.

'I would imagine so, but should it cease to be the case, I'll let you know,' he said remotely, not about to mention he had only offered his assistance for the opportunity to spend more time with her and was hardly going to back out now.  The additional tuition was already more work than she knew anyway.  He had forgotten more than he remembered from his childhood history classes, which had necessitated some hasty research before each visit.  'It makes a refreshing change not to be teaching a bunch of unwilling imbeciles in any case.' 

'Severus,' she rebuked resignedly. 'How can you possibly make your lessons enjoyable for the students with an attitude like that?' she asked without much hope of changing his mind - they had had this discussion before.

'My aim is not to hold _enjoyable_ classes, my aim is to teach lessons that are informative and of sound academic value.'

He had considered for a second biting his tongue and not arguing back for fear of alienating her further after the debacle at dinner the other night.  Unfortunately on this subject, silence was quite simply beyond him.  What was most annoying was that the incident that had resulted in his newly found caution, had all been so unnecessary.  While Quade had been an unpleasant shock at the time, on further reflection he had decided the other man's resemblance to her late husband was actually to his benefit.  He was banking on Lois not wanting to spend much time around a living reminder of her loss.  He hoped so anyway.  It was unfortunate he had not had chance to reach this conclusion before meeting him  – that way he could have avoided making a fool of himself in front of Quade and offending Lois into the bargain.  To give her her due though, she hadn't harped on about his comments once she had accepted his apology.  Nevertheless he was still slightly wary, but not wary enough to keep quiet.     

'Well if not for the students, what about for your own sake - wouldn't classes be pleasanter if you weren't constantly waiting for them to do something to annoy you?' she asked practically.

'What do you suggest I do - grin at them like an idiot when they disregard my perfectly clear instructions and cause accidents injuring themselves and their classmates?  Or perhaps ignore the fact that they have clearly not even read, let alone understood the homework I have assigned them and have chosen instead to turn in a piece of work completely unrelated to the subject and written in ridiculously large handwriting purely to comply with length requirements?' he questioned sarcastically.  

'No of course not,' she said with a touch of impatience. 'I'm just saying you could be a little less… strict with them.' she continued carefully, aware she was verging on shaky territory.

'Thank you for your… _suggestions_ Lois, but I have no intention of changing my teaching methods at this late stage,' he said with lofty finality.  'It wouldn't work in any event; children enjoy having a teacher that they hate, it's all part of the school experience,' he shrugged unconcerned.  His job was to teach potions, which he did - even when it meant dragging them to a bare smidgeon of understanding, kicking and screaming all the way.

'Well in all fairness Severus, you don't make it easy for people to get along with you,' Lois said gently, erroneously imagining him to be bravely hiding his upset at the student's animosity behind indifference.

'I'm well aware that I am disliked.  I've heard what they call me behind my back – greasy, big nosed git, being one of the nicer insults.'

'Children can be unpleasant,' Lois said with a wince, 'but I'm sure that if you just tried…'

'I am not referring to the children,' he said without expression, 'but the other Professors.  In fact I heard Minerva use those exact words just last week.'

'She did not!' Lois raged indignantly on his behalf.  'Why I would never have expected…' she trailed off as she saw the slight twisting of his lips, while his eyes gleamed with amusement.  'Severus,' she said slightly shocked, 'are you teasing me?'

'Your gullibility really makes it almost _too_ easy,' he mocked, smiling fully now and for once not one of his sneering, nearly-smiles.  Lois was amazed at the difference it made to his features; his whole face softened, his normally harsh expression filling out to leave him almost handsome.  She only became aware that she was gaping at him when he stopped smiling and looked down at her, all humour vanishing in an instant.  'What is it?' he asked in a cold tone.

'Nothing,' she answered hurriedly, not wanting to spoil his sudden good humour.  'Actually Severus I think your nose fits your face perfectly,' she said, partly to draw his attention away from her idiotic mooning and partly because it was true.  'And your hair isn't really greasy,' she said reaching up to run her fingers through it, feeling the texture slightly. 'I bet you've washed it this morning?' she asked smelling the clean fragrance that had been released with the movement of his hair.  

She didn't notice the statue like stillness that had overtaken Snape while she continued unselfconsciously examining his hair.  It felt wonderful he admitted, her soft warm form circling his body, while she leaned into him on tiptoe to gain better access because of his greater height.  He was brought back to full awareness when she tugged sharply on his locks. 

'Well?' she questioned.

'Well what?' he asked distractedly.

'Did you wash it this morning?'

'Oh.  Yes, yes.' he finally managed brusquely. 'Why?'

'I wonder what causes it to be so limp,' she mused, before suddenly clicking her fingers in front of his nose.  'I bet it's standing over those cauldrons all day,' she said with a nod.  'All that stuff bubbling and steaming away over the years, it's probably coated your hair.  Mine gets like that if I use styling products on it.  Not that I use them that often – my hair's poker straight; hours of effort and it doesn't look any different.'

Snape privately thought her hair looked beautiful as it was, the soft golden shimmer of it gleamed with health and smelled divine whenever she brushed close enough for him to breath in its sweet fragrance, which thankfully was often.

'I have something I think,' she said.  'Be back in a sec.'  It was slightly longer than the second she had promised, but not by much, when his door opened and she dashed in, panting slightly and clutching something in her hands.

'Here it is,' she said holding up a large clear bottle for his inspection.  'It's a muggle shampoo for removing build up.  I'm sure there must be a magic equivalent,' she chattered on, 'but of course I don't know what it is.'

He looked on amazed at her thoughtfulness.  She had continued treating him like a friend, despite the busyness of her schedule and the numerous other people in the castle who she could spend time with. What surprised him the most was that she had chosen to befriend him when he was, quite frankly, at his absolute worst - apart from his active Death Eater days of course.  The tension of Voldemort's return, the constant threat of attack and his fears for the future of not only the wizarding, but also the muggle world, had caused his already miserable disposition to plummet spectacularly.  And Lois didn't seem to mind; she sought him out, she teased him out of his doldrums and made him wish he had met her years ago, before his life had taken such a very wrong turn.  

But his pleasure in his discovery was shadowed by the realisation that wonderful as it was that she was his friend, she saw him _only_ as a friend.  What he wanted was a hell of a lot more, but Lois he knew didn't feel that way.  Much as he loved her numerous unthinking touches and hand squeezes, they plainly didn't arise from feelings of passion - she treated him with the same open friendliness she showed all the other males of her acquaintance.  She was never awkward in his presence, he had never seen her eyes darken with desire or her breathing speed up when she was close to him - she displayed none of the symptoms of attraction, symptoms he was experiencing with worrying regularity.  If he didn't get himself under control, she would begin to suspect and what worried him most of all, was the possibility of losing her from his life now, in whatever capacity she was willing to be there.  _Don't mess this up_, he ordered himself harshly, she wants a friend, be a friend and thank the gods she allows you even that.  

His mini-lecture over Snape glanced back to where Lois had been standing seconds before, only to find her gone.

'Severus,' he heard her yell from his bathroom, 'come on, let's try this out!'

'Now?' he asked startled, walking into the other room to find her fiddling with the temperature control on his shower.

'Yes, come on,' she grinned.  'This isn't a ruse to get you naked honest - just push your robes back from your collar and duck your head over the shower cubicle.'

He complied with her orders, more out of surprise than any real desire to try out the product, bending awkwardly to prevent the water from running down his neck.  Lois held the showerhead over his hair while Snape lathered up the shampoo, repeating twice as she instructed.  Wringing his wet hair out, still bent almost double, Lois handed him a towel to dry it with.  Before he had managed more than a few half-hearted swipes, she was grabbing the sleeve of his robe and pulling him back into his sitting room, forcing him down onto a low chair.

'I'll dry it so we can see what it looks like shall I?' she said happily.

His panicked, 'Hold on!' had barely formed on his lips, before she had reached for her wand and raised it above his head.  Within seconds his hair was dry and most surprising of all, still there.  

'You know how to do a drying spell?' he croaked, still not over the horrific image of him wandering Hogwarts halls, completely bald – reversing accidental magic was sometimes tricky.

'Are you kidding me?' she laughed.  'I'm living in a freezing castle with hair hanging down my back and no electricity.  That was the first spell I got Filius to teach me.  And look at you!  I think that stuff did the trick!' she said in a satisfied tone running her fingers through his hair again.  He was only allowed to enjoy the wonderful sensation for a second, before she was dragging him back into the bathroom to show him his image in the mirror.

In truth Snape could see very little difference; the same sallow face, dominated by an overly large nose stared back at him; his hair such a deep, inky black that light seemed unable to penetrate the strands and sat instead trapped on top, glinting with a falsely oily sheen.  He supposed it did look a _little _less limp and stringy now, he admittedly grudgingly, but it was doubtful anyone else would even notice, and given the package as a whole, it certainly didn't seem worth the bother.  She looked so pleased smiling up at him though he didn't have the heart to tell her what he had been thinking, so instead said sincerely, 'Thank you Achelois.'  

'You're very welcome,' she said with a quick hug of his arm.  'I tell you Severus, keep this up and you'll be beating the women off you with a stick.'  

Snape gave a short bark of laughter at that, genuinely amused.  'The day that happens my dear,' he said sceptically, 'is the day I willingly drink a poison that Longbottom has prepared the antidote for.'

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**   Sean Mulligan – Snape's age:  I did check up on this before I started the story but as the information has never been definitely stated in the books, no one is 100% accurate.  However, what I've been working from is that J K Rowling did say in a comic relief interview last year that Snape is aged "about 35 or 36."  As she answered all the on-line questions in the present tense, I took it to mean (quite probably incorrectly) that that was his age now (i.e. during the Goblet of Fire timescale of 1995), which means in my story he would have been born in 1960 and yes, only 21 at the time of Voldemort's defeat.  I also read somewhere that the Potter's were 21 when they had Harry, which again would give an approximate 1960 birth date.  I don't know the Slytherin Rising series, but until the books gives us the facts I suppose he can be pretty much any age we want and we're all still right – thank goodness! 

To everyone who mentioned it – I'm sorry; the romance _is_ a slow burner, but it'll come.  I'd like to say it will be worth the wait, but that's just setting me up for a huge fall!  The only thing I can promise is that they'llbe together long before the story ends, but the reason for the slowness is that I want them to be firm friends before they finally get to the romance.  Snape isn't an easy man and he also has those skeletons in his closet that need to come out first - without a strong liking and understanding between the two of them beforehand, I don't think a romance could work.  Anyway, although Lois will more than likely realise Snape is attracted to her long before Snape would believe that she could be attracted to him, _she_ isn't really quite ready to fall in love again yet, lust, yes, but that's not what I want; what can I say?  I'm a romantic – at least when it comes to fiction :) 

I'm telling you this because I know it can be frustrating when you're waiting for something to happen in a story and it doesn't.  I thought at least this way you'll be prepared for the wait even if you don't like it :)  Anyway, I hope you'll be able to bear with me - I'm honestly not doing this to tease you, but because I really can't change the pace at this point or it would mess up the plot for the rest of the story (such as it is!) 

Gosh – lots of explanation going on up there and reading it back, I've obviously put a worrying amount of thought into fictional characters – that can't be good.  I'll be quiet now.  


	15. School Starts

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Lois sat at the raised staff table looking out onto the noisy throng in front of her.  It was hard to believe that just over a week ago this same room had been almost silent as she ate an early solitary breakfast.  The castle hadn't been truly alive until the children arrived she realised now and the sounds of them echoing down the corridors filled her with warmth.  

Snape sat beside her and as no one else ever seemed in a raging hurry to snag the chair next to him, it had quickly become her regular seat.  Now that term had started meal times were shorter, so no matter when she arrived she was sure to find most, if not all of the other professors already there.  The distraction that they and the children provided for Snape's eagle eye meant that Lois now had the opportunity to study him undisturbed, which she had unwittingly been spending more and more time doing lately.  As a result she was beginning to know his expressions better than her own – although she still very often had no idea what he was thinking.  

One of the most interesting things she had discovered, was that he actually had a very expressive face when he was unaware anyone was watching him.  Sitting reading the Daily Prophet his eyebrows would rise in disgust at some article he was reading, or his mouth would curl in one of his rare and slight smiles when something amused him.  She had also noticed that he had beautiful hands; tapered and elegant they made the simple act of spreading butter on his toast as mesmerising as if he were sculpting a masterpiece. But best of all - and trickiest to observe unnoticed - was the myriad changes that occurred in his coal black eyes, from gleaming like polished glass when he was amused, to shooting icy sparks when annoyed.  

A slight movement to her right pulled her from her thoughts and had her head swivelling, smiling as she recognised Elena Roupe edging behind the table to an empty seat at the far end.

'Keep going.'  Muttered a snarling voice at her left as the other woman passed by.

'Severus.'  Lois hissed.  'Keep your voice down, she'll hear!'

'As long as she doesn't attempt to sit next to us, I don't particularly care.' He said barely looking up from the newspaper he was reading.  Lois shook her head at him exasperated before turning to Remus who sat at her right.  

'How are the three of you getting along?'  She asked genuinely wondering how such vastly differing personalities were managing to teach a subject so closely intertwined.  

'Not bad considering.'  He mused. 'I knew Alastor to speak to already and Elena is fine as well, but put them together.'  He shook his head in much the same fashion as Lois just had.

'Fireworks?'  She questioned sympathetically.

'Drawn wands sometimes.'  He turned his head to say quietly, but his eyes gleamed with laughter.

'Liar.'  She murmured back, glancing over at Elena Roupe and Alastor Moody.  The staff table was particularly full today and as no one had left it yet, the only seat remaining for Roupe had been next to Moody, something he generally tried to avoid she had noticed.

The new DADA Professor was a large woman, not fat, just tall and very solidly muscled.  Her wiry black hair was cut into a short unattractive bob that did little to enhance her regrettably plain features.  Her mouth was wide and contained an awful lot of teeth, which she bared often in a loud, booming laugh.  She had a broad nose, which appeared to have been broken at some stage and heavy eyebrows over her one attractive feature - surprisingly pretty lawn green eyes framed by incredibly long, curling black lashes. 

When she spoke it was in a thick eastern European accent that Lois couldn't exactly place, and wasn't inclined to enquire about further. It was difficult to decide on an age but she would have guessed her to be in her late forties.  Roupe was brash and opinionated but according to Remus, knew her subject inside out.  The students were definitely wary of her brusque manner and harshly worded commands and Harry had already told her no one messed around in her classes - apparently not even the Slytherins dared risk her wrath.  All in all, she came across as a very intimidating woman, although she had been surprisingly patient with Lois when she had sat in with her for some Dark Arts tuition.  Nevertheless she could hardly be considered restful company.  Even Moody seemed cautious around her, but Lois wasn't sure if that was because of annoyance or dislike – she rather suspected Moody enjoyed his reputation for being unpredictable and with Elena Roupe's arrival he was no longer the most unpredictable Professor in the school.

If Moody and Roupe weren't exactly best buddies, it was nothing compared to how the Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor felt about Snape.  She had arrived the day before school was due to start and had been introduced to the rest of the staff at a meeting to discuss final arrangements for the new school term.  Lois had made her way to the staff room with Poppy and when the other woman had stopped to chat with Professor Sinistra, Lois had smiled her hello and walked over to Snape standing alone on the opposite side of the room.

He had greeted her with a nod, not taking his eyes away from the older woman across the room who had him fixed with a deadly glare.

'Is that the new Professor?'  Lois questioned curiously noticing the staring contest going on between the two of them.

'Yes.'  He replied shortly finally looking away.

'Do you know her?'  Lois asked, mirroring almost exactly Snape's question at the staff meal.

'No.' 

'She certainly acts as though you do.'  She said with a feeling of déjà vu. 

'I assure you I have never seen her before in my life.'  He said impatiently. 

'Well start looking pleasant - she's coming over.' Lois instructed and Snape's lips twisted with displeasure.

'Professor Roupe?'  Lois asked politely holding out her hand to the tall woman.

'Yes, but you may call me Elena.'  She said briskly.  'And you are?'  She asked her forceful grip causing Lois's whole arm to shake, not just her hand.

'Lois Scott.'  She forced a smile, carefully removing her hand from harms way.  'I'm training under Poppy Pomfrey – the school matron.'  Elena's eyes sharpened for a second at her words, but it was gone in an instant as she turned towards Snape, her hand held out aggressively.

'And you are Professor Snape.'  She said, but it was not a question.

'Indeed.'  He intoned coldly, his eyes narrowing as the other woman grasped his hand and Lois wondered if she was holding it as tightly as she had held hers.

'I have heard all about you Professor Snape.'  She said in a hard voice.

'I'm sorry to say I cannot claim the same.'  He said equally hard.  'Tell me, where did you teach before this?'  He asked in a silky voice.

'This is my first teaching post, I previously worked for the Bulgarian Ministry.'  She replied in her deep accent. 'I am surprised you have not already asked Professor Dumbledore that question?'

'Now that you mention it, I think he might have said something about it.'  He answered in a cool tone, his face giving nothing away.

'I imagined he would have.'  She mocked and beamed her wide crocodile smile before turning towards Lois again who had watched the interchange silently.  'Nice to meet you Miss Scott.'  She said pleasantly. 'Professor Snape.' She said less pleasantly.

'Lois please.' Lois smiled and Elena nodded once, before excusing herself and walking away to speak to Professor Flitwick, the tall woman towering over the tiny man who looked a little alarmed as she focussed her attention on him.

'That went well.'  Lois mocked.

Snape sighed deeply, tearing his dark glance away from Roupe to focus on Lois fully.  'Just when I think the Defence Against the Dark Arts Professors can't get any worse, Dumbledore outdoes himself and hires _three_ of them that are all either worse than the last one, or _are_ the last one.' He said in disgust.

'Come on truthfully now - what did you do to upset her before I arrived?'  She teased.

'Nothing.'  He scowled.  'She's probably been talking to Moody.' He said with dislike, neither man having made any secret of their loathing for each other.

Lois nodded not pushing it and smiled at Poppy who had joined them.  More than likely he had offended the other woman without even being aware of it, something he had a particular knack for she had noticed on more than one occasion.  The Headmaster called the meeting to order and she had put the matter out of her mind.

She was dragged back to the present by a tap on her arm.  She glanced at Snape questioningly who nodded over at Remus.  

'Sorry Remus.'  She apologised.  'I was miles away, did you say something?'

'I asked if you were free this afternoon, I haven't got any classes till three, so we could carry on with your meditation training if you like.'  

After a joint discussion with Dumbledore and Poppy, the Headmaster had suggested she try some basic meditation techniques in order to help her focus and allow her to access any empathic abilities she might possess.  Unfortunately it was rather like the blind leading the blind; books on the subject weren't exactly thick on the ground because, as Poppy explained, it wasn't something that could be taught.  You were either born with the ability or you weren't – end of story.  As Remus had apparently been using meditation to help ease the symptoms he experienced prior to transforming every month, he had kindly offered to pass on whatever knowledge he had.

'Should be fine.'  She replied. 'I've got a class with Filius after lunch then nothing till transfiguration after the students last period.'

'How are you getting on with that now?'  He asked knowing she had been struggling.

'Hmm.' She said gloomily.  'Still not well to be honest.'  She admitted.  'I've been thinking about dropping it for a little while because I'm so busy anyway, but I just don't dare – this subject's going to take me forever to pass as it is and I need all the practice I can get.'

'It'll come.'  He consoled, but seeing her doubting expression continued.  'All wizards have weak and strong subjects Lois, just like muggles.  I was always hopeless at potions and Severus…' At this point he stopped and looked quizzically over at the other wizard who had finally put down his paper and was buttering a slice of toast.  'Actually Severus _were_ you bad at anything?' He questioned thoughtfully.

'Care of Magical Creatures.'  Snape replied stonily.  

For a second Lois thought it was a dig at the other man's condition, but apparently not because a look of dawning remembrance came over Remus's face and he said with a smile.  'That's right, Professor Kettleburn never did forgive you for killing his Rolling Toads did he?'

'Severus you killed then?'  Lois asked dismayed.

'I didn't wring their necks.'  He defended himself impatiently wishing now he'd never volunteered the information.  She had looked so morose though sitting there he had thought admitting his own past difficulties might console her. A mistake he now realised, thanks purely to Lupin's big mouth.  'We were all given some type of creature to care for - _allegedly_ as part of the course.  However, Rolling Toad larva needs an incredible amount of attention and I was right in the middle of producing a very delicate potion.  I didn't have the time to spend constantly monitoring heating and lighting requirements, a fact I had already informed Kettleburn of which he foolishly chose to ignore.'

'So what happened?' She asked with trepidation.

'I checked on them as often as I could, but unfortunately one morning when I looked in on them they had…'

'Rolled off to meet their maker?'  Lois finished for him with a wince.

'Exactly.  Don't look so accusing.'  Snape said irritably seeing her expression.  'They only live for a maximum of three months anyway.'

'Yes, but they normally manage longer than three days.'  Remus pointed out mildly.

'You couldn't keep them alive for three days?'  Lois said startled. 'If I ever get a goldfish, remind me never to leave you in charge of feeding it when I go away.'  

'They were hardly pets Lois; Kettleburn was simply using the students as slave labour.'  Snape said unrepentantly.  'We raised them under the guise of schoolwork and then he sold them off as potions ingredients, feathering himself a nice little retirement nest egg from our hard work in the process.'  His continued, his remembered annoyance at the old Professors treatment causing him to raise his voice slightly.

'Sorry to interrupt,' came Dumbledore's question from two chairs down, his eyes twinkling with amusement.  'I couldn't help but overhear; are you talking about those Rolling Toad's?'  

'Yes Headmaster.'  Remus answered when Snape's only response was an annoyed mutter. 'We were just explaining to Lois how we all have our little magical glitches.'

'That's certainly true enough.'  Dumbledore agreed.  'I could never master an adequate oven cleaning spell – always somehow ended up making a large hole in the door.'  He said thoughtfully, before continuing with a smile.  'I must say, since Professor Kettleburn's retirement I'd almost forgotten about those toads - Minerva.' Dumbledore called down to the Deputy Headmistresses who was in the process of sipping her tea.  'We were just discussing Professor Kettleburn and Severus's unfortunate incident with the Rolling Toads.  Do you remember?'

'Indeed I do.' She said her lips tightening.  'Kettleburn brought them up at boringly regular intervals right up until the day he retired.'

'If I recall correctly he tried to put in a claim for compensation didn't he?'  The Headmaster asked amused, before looking over at Lois to explain further.   'Incredibly expensive creatures to be fair; must have cost him an absolute fortune to purchase them in the quantities he did.'  He shook his head musingly.  'Never put all your eggs in one basket – a very wise muggle saying I've always found.'

'Humph.' McGonagall snorted.  'He certainly didn't succeed with his claim.'  She said in a highly satisfied voice.  'Using school equipment and facilities for his own private ventures and then asking for reimbursement when it fails.  He should have known better than to trust that sort of responsibility to a student.  I don't mean any disrespect to your abilities Severus – you were just a boy after all; no one ever really blamed you for it.'  She said kindly when she saw his darkening expression.

'I think Professor Kettleburn did.'  Remus said honestly.

'If you'd like Severus,' Hugo Quade teased, the entire table now happily listening in on the conversation.  'I'd probably be able to fit in a quick Care of Magical Creatures refresher course for you if you want?'

'Thank you no.' Snape said coldly, growing angrier by the second at the attention the conversation was causing him. 

'Perhaps you should take him up on that offer – you wouldn't want to be accidentally killing off things in your care would you Professor?'  Came Roupe's harsh voice and with it the end of Snape's patience.

He stood abruptly intending to leave without further comment and had actually taken a step when Lois's voice caused him to pause and turn on his heal back towards her.  

'Are you going?'  She knew he hadn't been enjoying the other professors good-natured teasing, but was still surprised by his sudden departure.

'Breakfast Achelois.'  He said bending to speak directly into her ear in a low voice. 'Used to be a time of quiet contemplation allowing me to prepare myself mentally for the horror of a full days teaching.'  Lois shivered delicately as his hot breath caressed her ear and his stooped position caused his silky hair to brush against her cheek slightly.   'Since your arrival,' he said in a tight voice. 'It has been turned into a three ring circus and when I find myself the main attraction, unsurprisingly I have no desire to remain.' 

'I'm sorry.'  She said absently as he straightened away, her focus unwillingly centred on his lips that seconds before had been practically touching her sensitive skin.  Noticing her inattention Snape gave an impatient shake of his head and swept off the platform leaving the Great Hall via the rear entrance.

Turning back towards the rest of the teaching staff she found most of them staring at her questioningly.  She shot them a rueful smile looking, had she but known it, like a long-suffering spouse apologising for her partners lapse in manners.  'He's in the middle of a brewing a potion and he had to dash off to see to it.'  She invented quickly in an attempt to excuse his behaviour. 

Lois sighed softly, her hand lifting to rub at her ear where she could still almost feel his warm breath, completely unaware of the speculative glances her words had caused more than one of the table's occupants to level on her.  

***********

'Harry he's touching her!'  Ron's scandalised voice hissed.

Harry looked around confused, before Ron's hand on his robe collar forced his face towards the staff table and the horrible sight of Snape's head lowered intimately at Lois's ear.  He returned his cereal filled spoon back into the bowl with a clatter, his appetite disappearing in an instant.  Luckily at that point Snape straightened quickly and left the Hall while Lois turned to speak to the rest of the Professors.

'Do you think they were arguing?'  Ron asked hopefully.  His introduction to Lois had gone well and he (along with a fair few other students) was now firmly in the midst of a full-blown teenage crush on Hogwarts youngest staff member.  

'_He _looked annoyed.'  Hermione agreed joining the conversation.  'But Lois doesn't seem angry.'  She pointed out, as the three of them watched her now staring blankly out across the sea of student faces, absently rubbing her ear. 'Actually I think Professor Snape likes Lois.'  She finished calmly waiting for the explosion that would inevitably follow.

'Like - do you mean _like_, like!' Ron howled looking truly revolted, but not enough to stop him cramming toast liberally spread with marmalade into his mouth.  'Are you insane?'  He asked looking at Hermione with horror.  'Snape's barely even human; that greasy git isn't capable of liking anyone.  Anyway could you imagine Snape with a girlfriend?  With _Lois_ as a girlfriend!'  He shuddered. 'No way; Lois is dead pretty - she wouldn't look at a creep like him in a million years!'  

'Looks don't matter when two people really fall in love.'  Hermione said disdainfully.

'Of course they matter Hermione.'  Ron derided.  'And especially when it comes to Snape; have you ever actually _seen_ what he looks like?'  He said in disgust. 'Lois wouldn't want him. _No one_ would want him – well maybe Roupe would.'  He said grudgingly looking over at the large woman who was laughing loudly at something Professor Sprout had just said to her. 

'You have no idea what women find attractive Ronald Weasley.'  Hermione sniffed, her nose in the air.  

Ron was about to argue when he remembered that Krum hadn't exactly been handsome and he'd had loads of girls crawling all over him.  But he didn't want to bring up Krum right now and anyway, he thought, Krum was famous.  Girls would forgive you a lot when you were famous.  

'I don't need to know.'  He snorted, abandoning any attempt to argue the point. 'Even if he _was_ good looking, there's no escaping the fact he's a spiteful, evil, old maggot and Lois is lovely and kind and _nice_.'  He said a dreamy smile appearing on his face, causing Hermione to roll her eyes in exasperation. A thought suddenly occurred to Ron snapping him out of his daze.  He turned to Harry, lowering his voice so the rest of the Gryffindors couldn't hear.  'Have you told her Harry?'  He questioned anxiously.  'You know – that Snape used to be a Death Eater?' He whispered to his friend looking around him cautiously.

'No.' Harry admitted, no happier than Ron was about Snape's friendship with Lois, but still not sure he should drop Snape in it.  He _had_ brought him back to Hogwarts when he'd been injured, but then again that was Dumbledore's doing more than his.  Anyway even if it had been out of the goodness of his heart, he felt more loyalty to Lois than he ever would to Snape. 

More worrying still, he thought Hermione might be right when she said Snape liked Lois.  You rarely knew what was going on behind his shuttered features, but over the summer, Harry had noticed an almost hungry look that Snape sometimes got in his eyes when he was watching Lois.  And he hadn't liked it one little bit.  Of course if he did what Ron wanted that would be a sure fire way of keeping him away from her.  Death Eaters had killed Lois's family and even if Dumbledore was right and Snape was one of the good guys now, he doubted she'd want anything to do with the potions master once she knew.  He was worried that telling her might just upset her though and he didn't want that either.  Despite the fact that she was the adult, he often felt strangely responsible for Lois - after all if it wasn't for him she wouldn't even be here.

'I think you should.'  Ron insisted. 'She needs to know and you can bet that slime-ball won't tell her either.'

'Well I don't think it's our place.'  Hermione said primly.  'I don't like Snape any more than you two, but if Lois does I don't think she'll be very pleased if we try to turn her against him.  Anyway if he really _does_ like her, he'll probably tell her himself.  What do you think Harry?'  She asked looking over at him.

'I don't know.'  He replied slowly, but he had to admit the idea of Lois being safely away from Snape was appealing.

**********

Hefting the heavy box awkwardly in her arms Lois quickly turned the handle of her chamber door using her hip to edge it open.  Once out of her room she pulled it shut with her elbow, not bothering to lock it as it would mean putting down the cumbersome box and drawing her wand.  _Lesson after this, I'm getting Filius to teach me that nifty floating spell everyone does_, she promised herself as she felt her arms begin to spasm painfully from stretching to reach around the large box.  

'Can you even see over that thing?'  Came a sarcastic voice behind her.

'Severus!  Don't sneak up on me like that!' She shrieked, the suddenness of his approach almost making her drop the heavy load.

'I _was_ about to help,' he said dispassionately turning around. 'But if you're going to screech at me like that.'

'Get back here.'  She smiled, using her foot to beckon him in the absence of free hands.  

'What is all this?' He asked, easily lifting the box from her arms.

'My mom's robes and some of her jewellery.'  She said opening the lid slightly to show him.  'Filius said we could work on a hemming charm today and if we get time, a reducing charm to shrink some rings.  I thought I'd take them down to his classroom now and that way I can go straight there after lunch.'   He nodded and they walked companionably down the corridor towards the stairs.  

One of the most surprising things about Severus Snape, Lois had come to realise, was that for all his sarcasm and rudeness and unmitigated bad temper, he had an unexpectedly chivalrous nature. Automatically taking the heavy box from her was a prime example.  Although Lois did have an air of frailty on first impression, after knowing her for even the shortest amount of time, her capable attitude and breezy self confidence caused most people to quickly disregarded her small size and leave her to get on with things.  But Severus had never treated her like that and she found she enjoyed the almost coddling manner he took towards her; doors were opened politely and chairs drawn back for her to sit in, not something that was common in today's liberated way of life. 

He didn't do any of it with good grace of course, but no one was perfect.  In fact looking back now, one of David's faults had been his tendency towards selfishness; he hadn't ever been intentionally unkind, but his occasional self-absorption had meant that he was sometimes unaware of her discomfort.  Of course they had been young when they had married and truthfully both of them had been a little immature.  Not that she was comparing him unfavourably with Severus, she assured herself hastily; over time she knew David would have matured and grown more thoughtful in his ways, but time was something that had been denied them.   

She looked over at the silent figure at her side.  'Did you come to see Poppy?'  She asked only now wondering what he was doing up here on the Infirmary floor.

'Yes.'  He lied easily.  Actually once he had calmed down after his fit of pique at breakfast this morning, he had regretted taking his annoyance out on her and had wanted to make sure she was still talking to him - which thankfully she seemed to be - without having to find out surrounded by the other Professors at lunch.  When she wasn't to be found in the Infirmary, he had headed for her room and luckily she had given him the perfect excuse for his appearance. 'Just delivering some new potions.'  He said without batting an eyelid at his barefaced fabrication.  Really, he thought amused, who would believe that _she _could be a bad influence on _him_?  The fact of the matter was he hadn't lied this much in years.

'And will you be joining us for lunch?'  She asked with a raised eyebrow.  'Or are you frightened of walking into another, hmm what was it again - a three ring circus I think you called it?'  She taunted. 

It appeared he wasn't off the hook so easily after all.  'I was somewhat annoyed this morning.'  He agreed carefully.  'Strangely I do not enjoy being mocked first thing in a morning.  Or at any time in fact.'  He said stiffly.  

'They weren't _mocking_ you Severus, they were just teasing you.' Seeing that his stony expression remained unchanged she carried on. 'You've known most of them for donkeys years - surely you must have a laugh now and again about the foolish things you all got up to when you were younger?'

'Not normally no.'

She sighed heavily.  'I suppose spending time with me makes it harder for you to avoid people now, doesn't it?  I'm sorry.'  She said regretfully. 'I could sit next to someone else if you want.'  She offered. 'To stop you getting dragged into inane conversations that you're not interested in.'

'That isn't necessary - even if meal times are noisier now, you're still a vast improvement on Hagrid's elbows constantly in my face while I'm trying to eat.'  He said pleased by her offer, but having no intention of taking her up on it.  He liked that she had obviously given some thought to his feelings on the matter and not just written him of as an antisocial bore, which he knew most people did.  'In any event I may have overeacted slightly.'  He allowed graciously in return.

'Good.'  She smiled, accepting that was as near to an apology as she was going to get.  'I didn't really want to move, but I thought in fairness to everyone's digestion …'

'Ah I see, so you were willing to risk an even worse seating partner than me for the good of the teaching staff?'  He mocked.

'Never let it be said I'm not a team player.'  She said modestly.  'And anyway, who's this mythical _worse seating partner_ than you?' She asked with a grin.

His eyes widened incredulously.  'Well how about Roupe for a start?'  He said in an aggrieved tone.

'Oh no you don't!'  She laughed.  '_You're_ the one who doesn't like Elena; I get along with her okay.  She taught me some really good basic curses the other day.'   

'Probably in the hopes you would use them on me.'  He scowled and Lois rolled her eyes at him.  'Liking aside.'  He pressed on his lips twisting. 'Wouldn't you fear for your eardrums with that moose in mating season bellow she calls a laugh erupting every five minutes?'    

'Don't be vile.'  Lois scolded.

'Fine.'  He said with a sly look. 'What about Moody then, would you prefer him?'

He had her there she conceded.  Moody had continued to make her nervous with his highly suspicious attitude and the watchful manner he always seemed to adopt around her - as though she wasn't quite up to scratch. She wondered if he thought her foolish attempting to learn witchcraft at her advanced age.  He was certainly the only professor who hadn't offered to provide her with tuition, although in fairness with Remus and now Elena on occasion coaching her, she didn't actually need any extra DADA lessons.  Still it would have been nice to be asked.

'Okay you win.'  She admitted.  'You're preferable to Professor Moody and I'm better than Hagrid's elbows – that doesn't really say much for either of us does it?'  She said with a laugh.  Noticing where they were she looked over at Severus hopefully.  'Do you need me to come with you to drop that off in Filius's classroom?'  She asked as the smell of food from the Great Hall wafted towards her.

'No, no, leave it to me.' He said sarcastically.  'I've always hankered for the position of unpaid lackey - anything else you'd like while I'm at it?  A piggy back ride to lunch maybe?'

'I think I can make it under my own steam, but thank you anyway.'  She smiled heading towards the staircase.  'I'll save you a seat.'  She called as she disappeared out of sight.  

He sighed heavily, adjusting the weight of the box and cursing his infernal weakness around her.  

***

Lois stood next to Poppy in the Infirmary a week later, helping her with a stock check on the medicines cabinet.  

'The start of term hasn't been too bad this year.'  Poppy said in a pleased tone.  'With the weather as fine as it's been, I thought we would be running low on Nasal Nostrum and Ocular Concoction by now.  We do need some more Pepperup Potion though.'  She noticed with a worried frown.  'I can't remember if I asked Severus to brew some more when I started on that last jar.  Could you pop down and ask him Lois?'  She asked, a twinkle appearing in her eye at these last words.

'Sure.'  Lois said cautiously looking suspiciously at Poppy's knowing smile.  'Why are you smiling?'  

'No reason.'  Poppy said innocently.  'But if I _did_ forget to ask him to brew more, I'm sure you won't get the same lecture about it I would.' She finished slyly.

Lois shook her head in amusement.  'Severus doesn't let anyone of the hook, as you well know.  If he does grumble, I'll be certain to direct him to you.' 

'He won't.'  Poppy maintained.  'Our usually stern potions master seems to have a soft spot for you, I'm glad to see.  He's kept himself separate from the rest of the world for too long now, which is the surest way there is to lose your compassion.  It's no wonder really he…' She stopped suddenly causing Lois to look over at her when she didn't finish her sentence.  

'No wonder he what?'  She questioned when she still didn't continue.

'Never mind that.'  Poppy said briskly with a wave of her hand.  'All water under the bridge, the important thing is there's a good man in there, buried underneath the snarls and the surly manner.'  She said with a pointed look at Lois.

'His bark's worse than bite you mean?'  Lois questioned amused.

'Hmm I wouldn't go that far.'  The other woman said cautiously.

'Neither would I.' Lois agreed.  'Anyway we're friends Poppy, just friends.' She said holding up her hands, not wanting to encourage any matchmaking.  Severus was finding friendship difficult enough as it was without anyone making loaded comments in front of him.

Poppy just clucked her tongue in an impatient manner at her words and shooed her off on her task. 

Lois headed down to the dungeons managing to get lost only once due to a missing staircase on the second floor.  The fact that the journey to the dungeons was the only one she could make with practically her eyes closed was very telling, had she given it any thought.  She arrived outside Snape's dungeon door minutes later and hesitated, wondering only now that she was here, if he had a class in progress.  Pushing her ear up against the thick wood she listened hard trying to make out any sounds from within.  After almost a minute had passed she had still heard nothing - either this was the most well behaved class in the school, or the room was indeed empty.  She straightened ready to knock and head in, when she heard Snape's raised voice from within.

'Whoever that is lurking outside my classroom had better get in here in the next five seconds, or I will hex you through the door.'

Lois pushed the door wide, walking in with her hands raised in surrender and an amused grin on her face. As she entered the room she realised that it was full of students after all, but kept her eyes firmly on Severus.

'Please don't curse me Professor,' she said her voice lilting with laughter, 'I'm unarmed.'

Snape looked taken aback for a second at her appearance instead of the student he had obviously been expecting, but quickly schooled his features into impassivity once more.

'To what do I owe this pleasure Miss Scott, or is Madam Scott at the moment?'  He mocked as she reached his desk, his voice too low for the students to hear.

'I'm here in my nursing capacity, so I suppose it's trainee Madam Scott if you want to be pedantic.'  She said without heat.  'Poppy sent me; she wanted to know if you had any more Pepperup Potion.  I didn't realise you were teaching though - I can come back later if you like?'  Out the corner of her eye she caught a familiar shock of untidy black hair, and turned slightly shooting Harry a quick grin and wiggling her fingers in greeting.  The class was uncommonly quiet and had obviously all been hard at work; cauldrons were simmering gently, and even now she was inside the room, there was still very little noise other than the gentle bubble of potions brewing.  Glancing round the gloomy room, she wondered absently what punishments Snape doled out for misbehaving; it must be pretty bad to keep a class this quiet.  She certainly wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of one of them.

Standing lost in thought, Lois was completely unaware of the appreciative stares she was getting from the Gryffindor fifth year boys, unused as they were to seeing a female clothed in anything other than loose robes for most of the year.  The Slytherins, true to their nature however, had slightly more lewd expressions on their faces as they took in her slim form dressed in plain black trousers and a soft, pale blue jersey top, which clung to her curves in a very pleasing fashion and caused more than a few of the male students to fantasise over what she wore underneath it.  In direct contrast to the unintentionally sexy lure of her body, her hair was tied innocently in two fat plaits, the blunt ends brushing against her shoulders as she moved and making her look not much older than the students in the room.

Snape turned away from her slender beauty, not bothering to answer her question when he noticed her distraction. He didn't like to admit it, but it annoyed him that she sometimes seemed so blasé to his presence.  He wasn't used to indifference from anyone, dislike - certainly, fear - often and in the case of weaklings like Longbottom even abject terror, but not with her.  Getting and holding her attention just lately was becoming an almost impossible task.  Everything within Hogwarts fascinated her and when she wasn't to be found staring curiously at suits of armour and paintings waiting for them to move, she was lost in conversation with one of the Professors or students, eager to learn more about magic.  

He stalked swiftly into his office and pulled a large stone jar of Pepperup Potion from a shelf carrying it back into the room.  When he returned his previously quiet classroom had been transformed into a smiling mass of drooling boys.  Gods, she was more hazardous to teenage boys that a Veela, he thought with annoyance.  Irrational though he knew it was to be jealous of fifteen year olds, his stomach twisted with envy as he heard the warmth in her voice as she sat chatting with Potter and his friends, peering interestedly into their cauldron and poking at something inside with one of the stirring spoons.  Malfoy and his cronies had also risen from their stools and were lounging casually in front of Potter's desk, obviously explaining something about one of the potion ingredients, much to the annoyance of Potter's little gang.  As he watched unnoticed from the doorway, he saw Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode give Lois a filthy look, which she didn't appear to see. 

Snape has been unsurprised by the interest Lois had attracted amongst the male students within Hogwarts; after all, attractive, mature women were not exactly thick on the ground amongst the teaching staff.  She might not be a pureblood, but her blonde good looks and Eadon history had meant that even the usually bigoted Slytherin males were willing to put their prejudices aside.  He had therefore expected the girls in the school to be vaguely resentful of the attention she was getting, but oddly for the main they had showed no signs of it.  

Looking at it stereotypically the Hufflepuffs were too good-natured he supposed and the Ravenclaw females too intelligent to worry for a second about a rash of adolescent infatuations that would soon burn themselves out.  The Gryffindors, as always, would be far too full of themselves to imagine anyone could outshine them, which left only the Slytherin girls, who unfortunately _had_ reacted as expected.  As far as they were concerned, not only was Lois unfairly garnering attention from a large amount of Slytherin students, to add insult to injury, she was unashamedly lacking in magical knowledge.  They couldn't accuse her of being a mudblood of course, but he had already heard whispers of  "muggle-witch" from them.  Lois so far seemed oblivious and luckily, as she had little direct contact with the students outside of the Infirmary, he hoped she would remain so.  If necessary he _would_ step in and deal with their behaviour, but it would be an almost unprecedented move for him to side publicly with someone outside of Slytherin House, even a staff member, and he would prefer not to have to.  It was important - more so now than ever - that his loyalties appeared to lie firmly with his House and the darker side of magic they represented.

Annoyed with the disruption she was causing, and not just to his class, Snape banged the heavy jar more loudly than necessary onto his desk.  Everyone in the room jerked upright, silencing instantly at his arctic glare. 

'Am I to assume from your chatter that you have all finished your Deep Emotion Potion and antidote?'  He asked in a cold tone.  He was greeted with muttered denials and hurried returns to desks.  

Lois looked up and smiled her gratitude on seeing the jar.  'Thanks Severus.'  She said casually walking up to his desk.  'You're an angel.'  He heard muffled laughter at her words from the assembled students, but a quick glare silenced them all.  

Lois reached out to pick up the jar, but his hand grabbed her wrist before she could make contact.  'You can't carry that.'  He said, his fingers tingling where they touched her warm, soft skin.  'It's far too heavy.'

'I'll be okay.'  Lois insisted. 'Oh by the way.'  She said.  'Sorrel's offered to come with me to Hogsmeade this afternoon so would it be okay if we gave our history of magic tuition a miss?'   

'Fine.'  He said wondering if Sprout was the only professor who would be going to Hogsmeade, but unable to think of a good enough reason to ask.  The thought of her spending the afternoon with Quade or Lupin bothered him immensely and his mood darkened correspondingly.  She jiggled her wrist slightly and he realised he had yet to release her from his grasp.  Once she was free again she reached out with both hands to test the weight of the jar.

'It's not too heavy.'  She insisted.

'Nonsense.'  He said in his normal impatient tone, taking it from her.  'It will be of no use to anyone if you drop it on the way to the Infirmary.  One of the students can carry it for you.'  

There was a slight scuffle from the back of the room at this as Malfoy shot to his feet, pushing Crabbe and Goyle back down onto their seats as he did so.  At the same moment from opposite sides of the room Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan both shouted. 'I'll do it Professor!'

'It seems we are inundated with Sir Galahads today.'  Snape said with a disgusted look at the unabashed students.  'Longbottom.'  He snapped.  'You can assist Miss Scott; it may well save us from yet another ruined cauldron.'  Neville stood looking pleased and embarrassed at the same time.  He strode manfully to the desk, carefully picking up the heavy jar and waiting patiently by Lois's side, his cheeks glowing hotly.

'Thank you Neville.'  Lois smiled and walked to the door, holding it open to allow Neville to exit the room first, before following after him closing the door firmly behind her.  

Snape sat lost in miserable thought for a few seconds, before he came back to awareness with the sensation of being watched.  When he looked up he saw Potter, his face creased in contemplation as his eyes bored into Snape's.  'Back to work Potter.'  Snape said nastily.  'You will be providing the demonstration for the class today, so it's in your own best interests that the antidote you are preparing is perfect.  Snape's mood cheered considerably when the boy gulped visibly and turned his attention hurriedly back to his cauldron.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**   I really, _really _want to thank everyone for the kind reviews and incredibly encouraging feedback – it's hugely appreciated!


	16. Are You Sitting Comfortably?

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Lois sat in the Infirmary working her way through a book on healing unguents and their uses, when a sound outside the door had her looking up seconds before it opened. Harry staggered in propped up by Ron on one side and Hermione on the other, the young girl swaying slightly under his weight.

'Oh my goodness what happened?'  Lois asked seeing the glitter in Harry's eyes and his unsteady gait.  'I only saw him half an hour ago and he was fine then.'

'It was that Potion we were brewing.' Ron said relieved as Lois hurried forward and taking Harry's arm from Hermione guided him towards a bed.  'Snape made Harry test it and it went a bit… wrong.'  He said eyeing his friend warily as the other boy refused to let go of his arm.

'Wrong?'  Lois asked cautiously bending forward to check Harry's pupils and take his pulse, which was fast and slightly irregular.  He also looked feverish, but the Infirmary as far she knew didn't have what she would recognise as a thermometer so she couldn't check.

'He wants me dead!'  Harry exclaimed dramatically his left arm flinging out as he spoke and catching Ron squarely in the nose.  Hermione luckily by this time had edged away from him and was watching with concern from a safe distance.

'Careful mate!'  Ron yelped jumping away from Harry and holding a hand gingerly to his nose.

'What does the Potion do?'  Lois asked as Harry subsided into silence once more, staring intently at a snag he had discovered in his robe.

'We were making a Deep Emotion Potion and antidote.' Hermione lectured.  'Wizards use it to stop them getting embarrassed talking about important stuff or standing up in front of a crowd, that sort of thing.  It works a bit like a sedative, except that at the same time as relaxing you it makes you incredibly clear headed and confident.  It's really handy for interviews or giving speeches, but you can't use it too often or it won't work at all.  Normally the effects only last for about an hour and if the potion is _right_,' she said with a glance at Harry who was now softly humming a tune apparently of his own creation. 'No one would even be able to tell that you'd taken it.'

'Yeah.' Ron confirmed. 'My dad took some before he got married to get through his vows.  He said he was so nervous it was either that or doing a moonlight flit.  He never told my mom though, she'd have gone mad.'

'Well what went wrong?  Harry's not making a lot of sense,' Lois pointed out. 'And he doesn't seem particularly calm.'

'Professor Snape said Harry and Ron put too Somniferum Spore in theirs.'  Hermione admitted.                

'Malfoy more like!'  Ron muttered angrily. 'He must have dropped it in when he was talking to you Lois.'  The red headed boy looked Lois in the face for the first time since he had arrived and blushed a deeper shade than his hair. 'Not that it's _your_ fault!'  He rushed on, 'Malfoy's a rotten louse; he's always doing stuff like that and Snape never tells _him_ off.' 

'Anyway.'  Hermione continued sounding slightly annoyed at being interrupted. 'The extra spore in their potions meant it didn't work like it's supposed to and instead it's just relaxed him.  _A lot_. I think it's a bit like he's drunk.'

'But what about the antidote – or had that been spoilt too?'  Lois questioned.

'No that was okay, but because the potion was wrong it didn't have any effect.'  Hermione explained.  'Professor Snape said it'll wear off but because he doesn't know how much Somniferum Spore was in the potion, there's no way of telling how long it will take.  That's why he told us to bring him to Madam Pomfrey – so she can give him a Stabilising Solution.'

'Why didn't Professor Snape bring him up?'  Lois asked annoyed he had left Harry to wander the halls in this state.

'He wasn't this bad when we set off.'  Ron admitted grudgingly.  'We didn't even know it had gone wrong at first; Snape made Harry get up in front of the class to explain the effects of the potion.  He said we'd know if we'd done it right because Harry would be "_unfeasibly eloquent for a Gryffindor."_'   Lois hid a grin at Ron's uncannily accurate impersonation of the potions master's clipped tones.  'He started off alright but then he went a bit green.  I thought he was going to be sick.  So did the rest of the front row actually but while we were evacuating our desks he seemed to get better, except be wouldn't carry on with the presentation. He told Snape he was a bully for always making him do the demonstrations and then he sat down in Snape's chair and wouldn't say anything else, even when Snape threatened him with detention.'  Ron recounted impressed.  'That's when Snape realised what had happened and sent him up here, but not before he took ten points off Gryffindor.' He scowled.

'Oh dear.'  Lois sighed fully intending to give Severus a piece of her mind when she saw him next.  'Well never mind, Poppy should be back any second.'  She said comfortingly heading back towards Harry.  'She only popped out to get me one of her textbooks.'

'That's nice.'  Harry's voice interrupted them holding up a forgotten get well card he had found on the locker next to his bed.  'Did you know everyone sent me cards when I was in the Infirmary Lois?  And sweets.  Not Snape though.  Mind you, I wouldn't have eaten them if he had.'  He said darkly. 'He probably would've poisoned them as well.'  He blinked then seeming to lose his train of thought while the three of them watched him warily.  Standing suddenly he lurched over to his friends before Lois could stop him, solemnly hugging Hermione and Ron in turn. 'You know you two are my very _best_ friends.'  He said sincerely, nodding at them slowly. 'That's why the last four years have been so great, even with Voldemort trying to kill me, because of the both of you.  Well that and being here of course and Quidditch and Hagrid and magic and… Oh _loads_ of things.'  He said his arms wind-milling wildly to encompass Hogwarts as a whole, before dropping back to his sides with a thud.  'But most of all you.'  He finished, hugging them again before sitting happily back down on the bed.

Ron if possible looked even more embarrassed than he had when talking to Lois, but Hermione seemed pleased by his words.  'Oh thank you Harry!  That's a really lovely thing for you to say.'  She smiled at him and received a goofy grin in return.  'That's the trouble with having boys as friends.'  She confided to Lois. 'They never normally say stuff like that.'

Lois nodded her agreement before shepherding the two of them from the room.  Lovely though Hermione might find Harry's unchecked outpourings, she had no doubt the young boy would be less impressed with his words once he was back to normal. Luckily at that Poppy arrived and after a quick explanation, Harry was tucked into bed and two large spoons of Stabilising Solution quickly administered sending him straight to sleep.

Checking on him an hour later, Lois watched as her approach caused his eyes to flutter open focussing blurrily on her as he automatically reached for his glasses.

'Lois.'  He smiled, before looking around confused.  'What am I doing here?'

'You had an accident in class.' Lois reminded him sitting down on the side of the bed. 'You tested a potion that had the wrong ingredients in it.'

'Oh yes, Snape.'  He remembered with dislike.  'He was angry because he thinks you like me better than him.' His eyes widened at his words and he put a hand to his mouth obviously surprised he'd spoken them.

'It was just an accident Harry.'  Lois said softly realising the potion hadn't quite worked its way out of his system yet.   'Professor Snape wouldn't intentionally harm you.'

'You don't know what he'd do.'  Harry muttered.  '_I_ don't know what he'd do.  You can't trust him Lois.'  He said suddenly sitting up, his hand reaching out to grasp hers.  'He might hurt you.'

Lois held his hand soothingly. 'He won't hurt me - we're friends.'  Harry shook his head forcefully at her words and she gripped his hands tighter.  'We are.  Really.  Trust me Harry you don't have to worry about Professor Snape.'

'I'm sure he doesn't think of you as just a friend.'  He blurted awkwardly.  'You haven't seen the way he watches you when you're not looking.'

Lois fought back a grin at Harry's impassioned words, realising his resentment of Snape mixed with the potion was causing his sudden burst of paranoia.

'I know what you're thinking.'  Harry said quickly.  'You think it's the potion making me say this stuff - well it is a bit, but not all of it.   It's just that I really like you… I don't mean _like you_ like Ron like's you… Oh bloody hell he's going to kill me.'  Harry muttered his cheeks burning brightly red, before shaking his head and ploughing on. 'Forget what I said about Ron would you?  Not that I don't think you're pretty, I mean I think you're lovely… Oh God.' He groaned again bowing his head to his drawn up knees, his face so red now Lois was worried it might catch fire.

'Harry, it's okay.'  She said softly.  'Poppy said you'll be back to normal within a few hours, perhaps if you lie back down…'

'No!'  He almost shouted, before taking a deep calming breath and lifting his eyes determinedly to hers. 'What I _wanted_ to say was that you're my friend Lois and that's why I worry about you, not because I've got some stupid crush on you.'  Lois only nodded sensing he didn't want her to interrupt. 'And you _can't_ trust Snape.  I know Professor Dumbledore says he's okay now but what if he's wrong?  And he _does_ like you I'm positive.  Promise me.'  He said his eyes glittering wildly.  'Promise me you'll be careful.'

'I will; nothing's going to happen to me.'  She promised soothingly brushing the hair from his forehead. 'Please try and sleep Harry, you'll feel better quicker if you do.'

He let out a huge sigh closing his eyes as Lois reached out to remove his glasses.  'Okay.' He said, suddenly calm again.  He lay back down yawning widely as his eyes fluttered closed.  Within moments he was asleep once more.

Two hours later and Harry was completely recovered although slightly shamefaced by his behaviour.

'I'm sorry Lois.'  He muttered into his robes.  'For all that stuff I said.'

'Nothing to apologise for.'  She reassured sincerely. 'I'm very pleased to know you consider me such a good friend - why on earth would I mind that?'

He nodded his embarrassment fading with her words and matter of fact tone.  'Yeah I suppose.  I _really_ wish I hadn't hugged Ron though.'  He admitted with a grimace.

She laughed softly.  'Nothing I can say to make that better.'  She grinned.  'I'm afraid you're just going to have to live with that one.'

He nodded smiling too and started towards the Infirmary door before stopping and turning back to look at her a strangely adult expression in his eyes.  'What I said about Professor Snape…'

'Forgotten.' 

He opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something more, but instead closed it with a snap and nodded again before giving her a small wave as he left.

'What was that about?'  Poppy asked joining her.

'Oh just that potion getting Harry all worked up; he'd got it into his head that Severus saw me as more than a friend.'

'Well of course he does – are you completely blind girl?'  Poppy asked with almost motherly candour.

'Blind?  No I… We're friends.' Lois said slightly shocked, not having had expected such a blunt response.  

'I'm not saying you aren't _friends_, I'm just saying that's not all Severus wants to be.  Or all you want him to be.'  She said with a pointed look.

'No. You're wrong Poppy.'  Lois protested.  'Severus has never acted as though he's interested in me, in fact most of the time he treats me like I'm a bit of a nuisance.'  She said not about to make mention of her own feelings on the matter.

'That's just his way.'  Poppy discounted with a wave of her hand.  'You must have noticed that you're practically the only person he willingly spends time with?'

'So?  That just proves we're friends.'

Poppy huffed.  'Good lord Lois you're a grown woman.  You've been married!  I can't believe you've forgotten how a man who's attracted to you behaves.  Haven't you ever noticed the way he watches you?'

'No.' Lois said honestly.

'He fairly sizzles when you come into a room.' 

'Sizzles?'  Lois said doubtfully.  'He's doing a damn fine job of hiding it then - he doesn't seem like he's sizzling when he's grousing at me for not paying attention in potions or when he's telling me I'm too soft with Harry.'

'What about that extra tuition he gives you, what about the way he invites you to his chambers – he's _never_ let anyone else do that.'  Poppy gave an impatient shake of her head when the younger girl didn't respond.  'Lois, take a step back and try looking at his actions with a bit of distance.'  Watching the beginning of dawning realisation on her face, Poppy gave a satisfied nod.  'I've known him for a long while.'  She said quietly. 'And I know he can appear cold and distant and that sarcastic manner of his doesn't help, but Lois I've never seen him behave around _anyone_ the way he does around you.'

'But he's never _said_ anything.' Lois muttered, but her mind was busily reviewing the past few months; he might not have _said_ anything, but his actions…  He _was_ very attentive a sly little voice whispered and he might not seek her out still, but he never tried to avoid her.  In fact thinking about it now, he often seemed almost pleased to see her she realised.  And after observing him around other people she saw with hindsight, he was uncommonly kind to her – for him anyway.

'Well?'  Poppy prodded at her silence.

'I suppose you could be right.'  Lois said slowly, her initial leap of excitement at the idea currently being drowned by nervousness.  'I don't know if I'm ready to fall in love again though.'  She said hesitantly.

'No one's expecting you to!  Take it slowly - he's single, you're single and working in the castle you've got a captive audience, but if you don't at least give the possibility of a relationship a chance, you'll never know if you're ready.'

Single.  That seemed strange Lois thought.  She'd been without David for almost as long as she'd been with him and truthfully she'd felt no desire to pursue a new romance since he'd died.  But now…

'What do you think I should I do?' Lois questioned cautiously.

'To be honest Lois I think you're probably going to have to take the initiative with Severus.  I don't know, but I'm guessing he thinks you aren't likely to be attracted to him.'

'Oh I am.'  Lois blurted out unthinkingly and Poppy raised her eyebrows knowingly.  Lois gave a small groan of embarrassment.  'Fine I admit it.   The thing is though, I've never had to make the first move with a man before,' she confessed worriedly.  'I don't know if I could.'  

'Children today.'  Poppy said with a roll of her eyes. 'I'm not suggesting you strip naked and wait for him in his chambers, although I suppose…'

'Forget it!'  Lois squeaked.  'I'm not doing that.'

'I'm just joking.'  Poppy laughed. 'And I'm not saying you're going to have to actually spell it out for him - he's not that dense.  Just make it plain, subtly of course, that you think he's the sexiest thing on two legs.'

'Oh well that should be easy enough.'  Lois said ironically, before asking hesitantly. 'Poppy are you _sure_?  I don't want to mess up this friendship if that's all Severus sees it as.'

'Couldn't be surer.'  The older woman said confidently. 'Trust me Lois I'm not wrong about this.  Come on, what have you got to lose?'

_Quite a bit actually_, Lois thought morosely, but she couldn't deny the excitement bubbling in her.  'Nothing I suppose.' She answered bravely and was rewarded with a beaming grin in return.

***

Walking through the staff room door after yet another dreadful transfiguration lesson, which hadn't been helped by the fact that her mind had still been fully occupied by Poppy's words, Lois smiled a greeting at Remus and Elena who were in the middle of a spirited discussion on the best method of dispatching a vampire.  The rooms only other occupant looked up at her arrival.

'Lois.'  Hugo Quade smiled in greeting.  'Just the person I wanted to see!'

'Oh, why's that?'  She asked sinking wearily onto a chair next to him.

'I've got something to show you.'  

'Hmm I don't know - my dad always warned me about strange men who tried to lure me away with that line.'  She smiled.

'A wise man your father.'  He agreed with a nod.  'But you can trust me honest.'

She grinned at him.  'Go on then – what have you got today?'  Luckily despite their hideous first meeting Hugo Quade had turned out to be incredibly easygoing.  He had made no mention about Snape's revelation and Lois was happy to discover that there was no awkwardness between them.  In fact as time passed, she had been pleased to realise she rarely even noticed his slight resemblance to David and they had been able to settle quickly into a comfortably relationship. 

'Those fairies I told you I was expecting have arrived.'  He said. 'I thought you might like to come and have a look.'

'Ooh yes, I'd love to!'  Lois said perking up a little at the thought of seeing a real live fairy.

'Well, I've only got them for the rest of today and tomorrow, so you can either join one of my morning classes or come and see them later on?' He said with a grin, watching her nod enthusiastically.

'When I was little my bedroom was completely covered with pictures of fairies and now I'm actually going to see a real live Tinkerbell.  Brilliant.'  She beamed.

His conversation finished Remus looked over hearing Lois's words.  'I hope you're not going to be disappointed.'  He warned. 'They don't really do much other than look pretty and argue with each other.  They can't even speak.'

'I know.'  Lois said undeterred.  'Hugo told me, but I still want to see one.' Standing she headed over to the small table in the corner of the room to make a drink.

'How is your book progressing Hugo?'  Elena asked as Lois sat back down.

'Slowly.'  He groaned.  'I really need to force myself to get down to it.'

'I didn't know you were writing a book.'  Lois said surprised.  'What's it about?' 

'Tebos; I've spent the last four years in the Congo researching their lifestyle and mating habits.  It _was_ originally supposed to be a three year expedition, but I underestimated the time element in finding suitable specimens for study.' He admitted with a wry grin.  

Both Remus and Elena smiled at his words and Lois looked at the three of them blankly.  

'Tebos have the power of invisibility.'  Elena explained. 'Making them very difficult to catch of course.  Wizards use Tebo hide to make protective shields and clothing – very expensive items because the animals are so dangerous.'  She said sparing Quade an impressed look.

'That they are.'  Hugo agreed with a pained grimace.  'I must confess once this book is done, I don't care if I never see another Tebo again.' 

The other three laughed outright at this and he shook his head ruefully.  'No pun intended.'  He smiled not taking offence.

'What made you take this post Hugo if you're trying to write a book?'  Lois asked curiously.

'It was too good an opportunity to miss.'  The other man admitted. 'Care of Magical Creatures isn't one of the most difficult subjects to teach so it allows me plenty of free time to work on my book while drawing a salary; my research grant has sadly dried up and I still need to eat.  But more importantly.'  He said with a deep sigh. 'I wanted to come home - it's been too long.'  

'Britain is your home?'  Remus said surprised. 'I thought you said you didn't attend Hogwarts?'

'I didn't but I was born and raised here and came back as soon as I qualified.  Beauxbatons was my mother's old school and she really wanted me to go there.  My father was a muggle.'  He said his face scrunching slightly.  'And as I'd be living away from home for most of the year anyway, he said he couldn't see what difference it made whether I was in Scotland or Timbuktu.  Right Lois.'  He said standing up. 'I've got a class now but if you want to come over in about an hour?'

'Okay.' She agreed standing herself to follow both Hugo and Remus from the room.

'Lois.'

Lois turned as she heard Elena's gruff voice just as she reached the door. 'Yes?' 

'I was wondering if I could have a word with you before you go?'

Lois tensed slightly at her grim tone, but answered pleasantly enough.  'Certainly Elena.'

The large woman looked awkward for a moment and Lois worried what it could be she wanted to tell her if it was making the unflappable Roupe hesitate.  'Lois.'  She finally began.  'I cannot help but notice that you and Professor Snape appear to be quite close.' She said in her harshly accented voice.

'We're friends certainly.'  Lois conceded warily, wondering where this was leading.

'Yes, well, as I also consider you a friend, I thought it was only right that you know this: Professor Snape is a Death Eater, or at least I am informed _was_ a Death Eater.'  She said a hard look in her eyes.

Lois looked at her nonplussed.  'What do you mean a Death Eater?  No, no of course he isn't Elena, why would you even think that?'  She asked, certain Elena was either mistaken or lying, but having no idea why.  

It seemed the other woman could read minds for she replied. 'I am not lying Lois, I know a Death Eater when I see one - I can spot them a mile away.  I knew he had the Dark Mark the second I saw him.' Her lips twisted as she said this as though a bad smell had crept into the room.

'The Dark what?'

'Dark Mark; all Death Eaters have it burned into them by Voldemort – he uses it to call them to his side and to brand them as his.'

Lois shook her head unbelieving.  'No, that's just not possible Elena - you must be mistaken.  Anyway.'  She said sceptically. 'If you really believe that it's true, why are you telling me, shouldn't you discuss something like this with the Headmaster?'  She asked calling her bluff.

'Oh I have trust me.  He tells me only that a man shouldn't be condemned for eternity for youthful folly, that whatever his past, he trusts him implicitly now.'  She said with a disgusted snort.

Lois looked into the Dark Arts Professor's face bewildered.  Elena wouldn't risk lying if she had really spoken to Dumbledore; she had to know that her story could be corroborated in a second.  

'I have to go.'  Lois muttered.

'I am sorry Lois.'  Elena said with seemingly real regret, but still with that frighteningly hard look in her green eyes.  'I did not wish to cause you distress, but I thought it only fair you were made aware of the situation, before your _friendship_ progressed further.'  Lois nodded, but was unable to speak.  She stood up jerkily, bitterly regretting the rest of the afternoon classes wanting to talk to Severus about this immediately.

**

Perched on the edge of Snape's couch that night, Lois sat staring into space rehearsing what to say while waiting for him to join her on the sofa.  After leaving Elena, she had sent messages to Sorrel and Hugo saying she wouldn't be able to go to Hogsmeade or see the fairies after all.  Apologies made she had gone straight to her room.  Not wanting to see anyone until she had had the chance to talk to Snape alone, she hadn't even gone down for dinner, instead waiting until she was sure he would be safely in his chambers before making her way down to the dungeons.  Even another run in with Filch on the way hadn't managed to distract her from her nervous dread.  After accidentally treading on Mrs Norris's tail, she had been hunched down next to the offended cat who was graciously allowing her to stroke her head in apology, when the enraged caretaker had appeared puffing down the hall apparently alerted by his pet's yowl.  Her worry over the upcoming meeting had caused her to be unusually sharp with the old man who had stormed off in a huff, Mrs Norris sashaying regally after him.

'I need to ask you something.'  She said as he sat down, practically her first words since arriving.

'And are you planning on asking me any time today?' He prompted sardonically when she lapsed into silence again.

'Were you a Death Eater?'  She blurted out, cursing her clumsy words as soon as they left her mouth.

'Who told you that?'  He asked, his fatalistic tone doing nothing to reassure Lois it had all been some dreadful mistake.

'It doesn't matter who told me.'

'Was it Potter?'  He asked calmly.

'No it wasn't.'  She said sharply suspecting he was about to accuse the Harry of lying to her.  'If you must know it was Elena Roupe.'

For the first time since their conversation had begun, anger showed on his face.  'Bloody interfering woman, I knew she was trouble the second I saw her!'

'It's true?'  She breathed.

'That depends on what she told you.'

'_She_ told me you're a Death Eater, I'm asking _you_ to tell me if it's true.'

'I don't think that's a good idea.  I doubt you would be up to hearing that particular tale and telling you would serve no purpose; what's done is done and you can trust me when I say you are in absolutely no danger from me Lois.'  He said in a coldly distant voice standing up to walk towards the empty fireplace, facing her again once he reached it.

'Don't treat me like I'm some delicate little flower Severus.' She said rising to following him, anger beginning to take hold at his patronising attitude.  She had initially been uncertain whether she had the right to question him about his past, but had decided during the course of the afternoon that she did.  He had let them become friends knowing full well her family's history and if Poppy was right about him being attracted to her, it was important that she knew what she was getting into.

'Forgive me if I find it difficult to believe that you would have the stomach to be able to listen to what I would have to tell you.'  He sneered.

'You _arrogant_ swine.'  She breathed.  'Do you think the great Severus Snape is the only one who's ever known suffering and torment?'  She asked jabbing her index finger angrily into his chest, causing him to take a step backwards in surprise.  'I've seen things that would make a grown man weep.  Children – babies, with non-accidental injuries so severe you can't believe that they could recover and a part of you can't help but wonder whether it would be better if they didn't, because god alone knows how they ever get over the psychological scars from what's been done to them.'  Snape opened his mouth to speak, but Lois stormed on refusing to give him chance.  'And while you're nursing one child who's been brutalised by sick animals who have no right living, let alone raising a family, I've had to comfort parents who've just been told that the child they live and breath for, isn't responding to treatment and the possibility of them lasting the night is zero.'

'Lois…'

'I'm twenty-five years old Severus!  My _entire_ family is gone.  I had to bury my husband alone six months after I'd buried my only living parent and the reason he was my only parent was because my mother was killed by Death Eaters.  Now just because I don't deal with my pain by shutting myself off from everyone and everything doesn't mean I don't have any.'  She let out a deep breath, her normal even temper slowly returning after the rage that had swamped her at his dismissive words, began to fade.  She looked into his face and saw a sick, despairing look in his eyes and sighed.  'Look, Severus, Elena says you were a Death Eater and I didn't really believe her, but now you're not denying it and I…. I just _need_ to know.  And if we're truly friends, I think I deserve to know.'

He nodded once, breaking eye contact and turning slightly away from her, his shoulders hunched.  'I was seventeen and had just left Hogwarts when I entered Voldemort's service.  Almost immediately I knew I had made a mistake, but it was too late by then – no one leaves the Dark Lords ranks.' He said in a monotone.

'But you did?'  She pressed.

'Not soon enough.' Snape replied his voice driven.  'The things I saw, the things I did.'  He breathed in deeply, his face suddenly mask like.  'I would rather not go into the gory details Lois.  Not,' he said abruptly. 'Because I believe you incapable of hearing them, but because I personally would prefer not to and I can honestly see no real point in dredging it all up again.  It would accomplish nothing.'  

Lois examined his closed features seeing the genuine reluctance buried in his eyes.  'Fair enough.'  She agreed, more for his sake than for hers.  

He nodded his thanks.  'Suffice to say I was an idiot - a blind, wilful idiot who thought he knew it all.  I didn't know anything.'  He said in a hard voice.  'My father had an absolute abhorrence for non-purebloods and I was raised in an atmosphere of bigotry and hatred.  He believed that the continuing incorporation of muggle born witches and wizards muddied the wizarding gene pool and would eventually be our downfall; not a theory I really ever gave any credence to.  It is my firmly held belief that the majority of people are idiots,' he said with a brief flash of his normal cynical self. 'Irrespective of whether they are born into a wizarding family who can trace their roots back to Merlin himself, or are the first to possess magic in a line of muggles since time immemorial.  Nevertheless, it was an attitude I was at least familiar with and accepting of.  When Lucius Malfoy first began suggesting I become a Death Eater I was by then completely alone in the world.  My parents had died during my fifth year at Hogwarts, although in truth I had noticed very little difference with their passing – they were cold, distant people.  How they ever managed to get close enough to produce me was, I am sure, as much of a mystery to them as it was to me.  In any event they had left me money, but no fond memories or moral guidance.  Not,' he stressed. 'That I am trying to excuse my behaviour in any way.  I was intelligent enough to make my own decisions and no one forced me to join.'

Lois went cold inside at the self-loathing she heard in his voice.   Perhaps his family's lack of love and corrupt morals could not be completely blamed for his actions, but it had certainly not helped.  She desperately searched for something comforting to say but he continued before she could find the words.

'When I had first started attending the Death Eater gatherings, everyone was enormously flatting; my skill with potions was lauded to the heavens and their welcome was…warm to say the least.  In short they pandered to my inflated adolescent ego and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. And in fairness although I was peripherally aware of the atrocities that had been carried out in the Dark Lord's name, as students at Hogwarts we were greatly insulated from the worst of it.  It wasn't until I joined that I realised what being a Death Eater actually meant.'  He said his voice grim.

'What made you leave Voldemort?'  Lois asked when he silenced.

'There was no one thing, no defining act that sickened me more than any another.  I just… One day I woke up and knew I had to leave - even if it meant my death.  But I'm no martyr,' he said with bitter self-recrimination.  'I wasn't about to go out in some blaze of finally found scruples, so I came to Dumbledore with my tail between my legs in the hope, although I wouldn't admit it, that he really was as omniscient as he'd always appeared and would have a solution to it all.'

'And did he?'

'Surprisingly yes.'  He said with a harsh laugh. 'Not a perfect solution by any means, but enough that I could just about live with myself again.  I became a spy.'  He explained as Lois's questioning glance. 'The risks were high enough that I felt some justice had been served – although nowhere near enough of course – and I was finally doing some good for once.'

'But while you were spying how did you avoid having to do all those… things?'  Lois questioned.

'Obviously I couldn't completely.'  He said harshly.  'But it could have been worse; I had never been able to hide my distaste for the murder and torture that the majority of Death Eater's revelled in.  Provided I carried out my duties uncomplainingly I had been excused most of those tasks from the start.  My skill with potions was what the Dark Lord wanted and that was what I gave him.  There were plenty of others, believe me happy to take care of the rest of it.  Of course I'm still just as much a murderer whether I used the killing curse or simply provided a killing potion.'  He closed his eyes for a moment and Lois had the sudden urge to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything was going to be all right, but when he opened them again his stare was so coldly distant she was almost afraid to approach him.

'Unfortunately the secrecy required for my new role meant I was in a highly precarious position.  The Ministry couldn't know I was spying in case of leaks, which meant every Auror in Britain had me on his hit list and the slightest hint of disloyalty that reached the Dark Lord's ears would have resulted in my death, with each faction equally certain that justice had been served.  In fact there are still a good many wizards who fervently believe I should be dead or imprisoned – Moody for one.'

Lois looked at him appalled.  'But what about afterwards, once the war was over and the truth came out?'

Snape smiled coldly.  'The consensus of opinion was that I had been playing both sides against the other before swearing my allegiance to the eventual victor.' 

'I don't understand,' Lois protested.  'Didn't Professor Dumbledore vouch for you?  He knew what had really happened.'

'Of course and no one was prepared to disregard his testimony - at least publicly - so an innocent verdict was duly returned, much to the disgust of all concerned.'

Lois was horrified; what he had done was wrong, no doubt about that, but he had tried to rectify his mistakes.  How could he be so calmly accepting of being forever considered a traitor, despite the horrendous risks he had taken?  'But… but so long has passed since then.  Couldn't Dumbledore have convinced everyone over the years?' 

'Maybe, but we had to keep it low key.  It was doubtful that the Dark Lord had been destroyed completely and should he ever return, my position had to be ambiguous enough that I could believably return to his side to spy again.  One of the reasons it is so important I favour Slytherin students – my loyalties get carried home to the parents.'

'Voldemort has come back.'  Lois said slowly dread beginning to swamp her.  'You aren't spying again are you?'

'Not actively.'  He admitted unwillingly. 'It will be a slow process gaining his trust again.'

'But he'll know you're a spy!  You admitted it!'

'Not necessarily – all of his followers that avoided Askaban did so by renouncing him.  My crime looks slightly worse than theirs because at trial I was exonerated as a spy for the Ministry's side, but as so many people never believed that story in the first place, with any luck I'll be able to convince him that I managed to evade capture by hoodwinking Dumbledore.  Hopefully given enough time the Dark Lord will trust me again and I'll be able to return to his service without risk.'

'Hopefully?  With any Luck?  These are not words that inspire confidence in a plan Severus!'  Lois shouted.  'And not only that what will it do to you to go back to that life again?  You can't do it – it's too dangerous!'  She said forcefully.

At her words, Snape finally allowed himself to look at her fully since their conversation had begun and was shocked by what he saw.  For the first time since he'd known her, her face showed not a speck of joy.  Usually even when in a temper or concentrating avidly on some task, she fairly glowed with an innate love of life that he simply couldn't comprehend. But now her normally mobile face was still and chalky pale, her lips almost bloodless as she chewed on them worriedly, her blue eyes shadowed. 

'I don't want you to die.'  She said almost in a whisper.

The relief that flooded through him at her words made him dizzy for a second.  He had been so certain once she knew about his past she would hate him, he should have known better; hate was an emotion she didn't seem capable of.  'Oddly enough I have no burning desire to shuffle off this mortal coil myself.'  He said sharper than he intended.  'In any event I doubt there's any great cause to worry, as my mother once informed me during a childhood illness - I'm too evil to die.'  He mocked.

'Don't!  Don't say that, you aren't evil.'  She rushed to say grabbing both of his hands with hers and holding them in a surprisingly strong grip. 'You just made a horrible mistake.'  Her grip on his hands tightened even further and she looked at him intently, her voice more serious than he had ever known it.  'You have to promise me that you'll be careful Severus.'

'I will.' He said squeezing the hands that grasped his, only for her to pull immediately away and take a few steps back from him.  'So, what now Lois?' He asked his voice reserved as he watched her almost visibly drag her composure tightly back into place. 

'Nothing now.'  She shrugged casually, but the stiffness of her body showed she plainly wasn't as relaxed as she pretended.  'Same as before, we're friends aren't we?  I don't turn my back on my friends.'  She answered her voice suddenly distant.  

'Good I'm… glad.'  He responded stiffly unsure of her mood.

'Well I'm better be going, it's getting late.'  She said lightly wincing as she moved her tensely held shoulders.  'Thank you Severus… for trusting me with that.'

'Achelois….'

'Well goodnight then, I'll see you at breakfast.'  She said with a bright meaningless smile that didn't reach her eyes before turning and almost running for the door, slipping swiftly out and closing it quietly behind her.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**   The Tebo and fairy description belongs to J K Rowling and is pilfered, once again, from Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them.  

Thanks to everyone for your wonderfully helpful reviews and giant gingerbread cookie bribes.


	17. Gifts and Rifts

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Lois woke the next morning hollow eyed but resolute.  After fleeing Severus's chambers following his confession last night, she had barely made it back to her room before being violently sick.  Thank goodness she hadn't eaten dinner, or she doubted she would have been able to hold back the rising nausea as long as she had.  Stark images of any one of the millions of ways Severus could be discovered to be a spy had raced through her mind, each more plausible than the last. Worse still were the thoughts that followed of the possible punishments he would have to endure from Voldemort once his secret was out.   

Deep down after Elena had told her he was a Death Eater, she had clung to the belief that it was all some horrible mistake and it had been like a punch to the stomach when he had actually admitted it.  After hearing his story however she simply couldn't hate him.  He had made his decisions as a boy and what was more, a boy who was very much alone and without guidance.  His actions after becoming a Death Eater had been carried out in the middle of a war and as much as she abhorred violence, there came a point when it was simply unavoidable.  He'd chosen the wrong side to fight for of course - _dear lord_ _had he chosen the wrong side_ - but once he'd realised that, he had done what he could to make amends.  

What she couldn't accept however, was the danger he had so casually placed himself in on becoming a spy.  While the bitter recrimination in his voice assured her he deeply regretted what he'd done, it was obvious he was far from finished paying for his mistake - his foolish choice as a seventeen year old had stalked him determinedly into adulthood.  The risks of spying against Voldemort were immense and she wasn't sure that she could stand waiting day in day out for him to be discovered.  Sitting alone and shivering in the darkness of her room, she had genuinely considered distancing herself from him as far as possible.  If she pursued a relationship with him, she had no doubt her emotions would become even more involved than they already were and frankly, the risks of him dying where a hell of a lot higher than average.   The thought of losing him now was horrifying enough, how much worse would it be a few months down the line?   

When she had finally fallen into a fitful sleep however, she had been tormented by nightmares of David and her father abandoning her despite her pleas, only for the dream to change suddenly to an image of Severus lying still and silent on the dungeon floor plainly dead.  She had rushed towards him only to be held back by Poppy the older woman shaking her head, her face filled with disappointment as she stared at Lois saying sadly,  "I warned you - now you'll never know."   When she awoke, heart thumping, her decision was made.  Whatever these feeling were she had for Severus, she was not going to cowardly deny they existed – operation seduce Severus was underway.  

**

Leaving the Infirmary later that day, Lois froze in puzzlement on seeing the solid form of Elena Roupe looking strangely lost a few steps away from the door.  

'Ah Lois good!  I was hoping to find you here – I wanted to talk to you privately.'  She said with a look of relief on spotting her.  'I have been worried about you since our little chat yesterday and at breakfast this morning I noticed you did not look well.  Have you managed to speak to Professor Snape about …' She trailed off, a watchful expression on her face as she lifted an eyebrow significantly.

'Oh yes, yes I did and it's fine Elena, there's no need for you to worry.'  Lois replied slightly stiffly.  She didn't exactly blame Elena for her telling her about Severus's past, providing it had been done for purely altruistic reasons.  She had a sneaking suspicion though that Elena's dislike for Snape had played a larger role in volunteering the information than her concern for Lois had.

'I see.'  Elena said slowly.  'I did wonder when I saw that the two of you were still speaking.   If he denied that he is a Death Eater Lois then he _was_ lying.  If it evidence that you need the Dark Mark I told you about cannot be removed.  Ask him to show you his arm, that will prove I am not wrong about this.'  She pressed.

'No, I believe you Elena.'  Lois said quickly, really not wanting to discuss this with the other woman.  'We've spoken about it.  Everything's okay now.'

'It is?  How?'  Roupe asked disbelieving.  'I realise the magical world is new to you Lois, so you are probably not aware of exactly what happened during the war with Voldemort, what the Death Eaters did to muggles and wizards alike.  Whatever story he has told you…'

Lois battled the urge to rub her nose in exactly what Severus had done for "muggles and wizards alike" before stopping herself in the nick of time.  _Nice idea Lois,_ _announce to all and sundry that Severus is a spy; he manages to keep it secret for fifteen years and you're hard pressed to manage fifteen hours.  _She reigned in the impulse and instead held out a hand to halt Elena's words.  'He didn't lie to me and I don't mean to be rude Elena, but our discussion was private.'  She softened when she saw the look of concern in the older woman's eyes.  'I'm not a fool you know.'  She chided.  'I really am perfectly capable of making sensible decisions.  It just so happens that I agree with Professor Dumbledore on this one; whatever he did or was back then I trust him now.'

'I can see I will not be able to convince you otherwise.'  Elena said huffily, her accent deepening.  'But you are right of course - you are not a fool.  I am sorry if I gave you the impression that I thought you were; I merely felt that you deserved to be in full possession of the facts so that you could make your own decision.  Which you obviously have done.'  She said her lips pursing with disapproval. 

'I have.'  Lois replied firmly wanting there to be no room for confusion.  

Elena rolled her eyes at her words. 'Moody is right about you – you are too soft-hearted for your own good.' 

'Now _you_ sound like Severus.'  Lois teased, liking the gruff Dark Arts Professor almost in spite of herself. 'Maybe the two of you have more in common than you realise?'

Roupe gave her a withering look.  'I will be watching him Lois.  You cannot convince me he is not dangerous, whatever he may have made you believe.'  She promised with another frowning glower before marching down the hallway and out of sight.

Lois sighed deeply.  It looked as though her pursuit of Severus was going to have to be carried out under Elena's watchful eye - perfect.  She sighed again and followed on slowly behind her.

**

A week later and Severus was in something of a quandary.  Since their little… discussion, Lois had begun acting rather oddly.  She had become unusually solicitous and the normal quick touches and pats that were all part of a routine conversation with her, had now turned into almost lingering caresses, which was having a highly disturbing effect on his equilibrium.  But strangest and most unsettling of all, she had stopped arguing with him.  At first he had thought he was mistaken, but when she said nothing about a direct slur he had made about Potter in her hearing, he had quickly realised something was not right.  To test his theory he had purposely tried being more unpleasant than normal just to provoke a reaction, but although her eyes flashed fire for a second, her anger was always quickly banked behind soft appeasing smiles.  

After giving it much consideration, he had reached the conclusion that she had decided the risks he was taking were dangerously high and she plainly expected news of demise any second now.  While he had initially enjoyed the upturn in affection, he was becoming increasingly disgruntled at what was obviously only pity-induced concern.  He was starting to feel like a condemned man around her.  Even worse her escalating attentiveness had been noticed by the rest of the staff.  For the main that merely resulted in amused looks and knowing smiles, especially from Poppy, but there were also a steadily growing number of accusing glares being directed his way.  Normally he couldn't care less what anyone thought about him, but even he was starting to get a little sick of being treated like some black-hearted despoiler of innocents.  He doubted he could receive any darker looks if he were suspected of seducing one of the students.  While he could just about tolerate their disapproval, he definitely didn't like the strangely appraising glances Lois was now getting, as though her closeness with him had suddenly turned her into a creature from another planet.  If she had noticed the looks at all, _she_ certainly seemed unworried, but his temper was becoming more irascible with every passing day.

**

Not in the mood to chat after yet another near argument with Severus, Lois made her way down to the staff room ready to turn back the way she had come if it was full.  Ducking her head around the door she was pleased to find only Hugo Quade and Professor Moody in occupation.  Better still Moody was fast asleep by the fireplace, his wandering magical eye motionless for once.

'Hello stranger.'  Hugo said quietly, as she sat down next to him apparently as keen as Lois to let the other man sleep.  'I haven't seen much of you for the last few days.  Where have you been?'

'I haven't been much in the mood for company I suppose.'  She said tiredly.  

Her work in the Infirmary was growing steadily harder and that along with rest of her classes, resulted in a feeling of almost constant weariness.   Her attempts to subtly convey to Snape her growing attraction were also not going especially well at the minute and his recent inexplicably foul temper was really beginning to get her down.  A change of tactics was definitely needed she was beginning to realise, because she couldn't keep turning the other cheek for much longer.  She was so wound-up from backing away from his increasingly confrontational moods, she was about to explode herself.  She was also not more that a little worried that Poppy had been mistaken and Severus's bad temper was his way of telling her he'd finally had enough of her.   She pushed that depressing thought aside.

'Ahh I see.  This sudden need to be alone wouldn't have anything to do our very volatile Potions Master would it?'  He asked archly.

'No.'  She said almost sharply, definitely not in the mood to talk about Snape at the moment.  He had been especially evil at breakfast this morning and sitting next to Lois, Hugo had obviously noticed it. 

'Sorry.  Didn't realise it was such a touchy subject.'  He said turning uncomplainingly back to his book and making Lois feel guilty.

'No _I'm_ sorry for being so snappish.  I'm just a bit tense.'

'I can see that.'  He said with a sympathetic glance at her taut features, before sitting slightly more upright in his chair. 'Do you think you can handle a bit of friendly advice Lois?'

_Please don't tell me he's a Death Eater_.  Lois prayed quickly.

Apparently taking her silence for agreement he hurried on.  'Look I barely know Snape so perhaps I shouldn't say this, but I can't help but notice the two of you don't seem to be getting along very well just lately and from what I've seen, if you _have_ had a falling out, perhaps it's for the best in the long run.  He doesn't seem to treat you very well.'  He continued carefully watching her closely as she began to shake her head instinctively at his words.  'Lois the first time I met the pair of you he embarrassed you horribly and I have to say, he didn't appear particularly sorry about it either.'

'He was.'  Lois defended.  'He just never _looks_ sorry.'  She groaned at her own words, realising she sounded like some battered wife forever protecting her abuser.  'Hugo, really I know he's been worse than usual recently but he truly isn't as bad as he seems; normally he's very kind and considerate - in his own way.  I think he's just got something on his mind.' She assured him, compelled to defend Severus even though she knew full well he neither needed nor wanted it.

'Like I said, I don't know the man.'  Hugo admitted doubtfully. 'But even on our short acquaintance, it strikes me you could do a lot better.'

Lois looked at him a little warily at that. Did he mean him?  She had thought he was as happy with their comfortable friendship as she was but now…

'No, no.'  He said emphatically, correctly reading her cautious expression. 'I didn't mean me!'  He laughed so obviously amused by the absurdity of the idea that Lois would have been insulted if she hadn't been so relieved.  

'Look thanks for your concern Hugo, but it's not necessary.  We'll sort it out one way or the other.' She assured him with a confidence she was far from feeling.

'Well you know him best I suppose.'  He agreed.  'But if he starts making a nuisance of himself, let me know okay?'  He said with a concerned gleam in his eyes.

'He won't.'  Lois smiled.  'But thanks anyway.'

Hugo examined her closely for a second before quickly looking at his watch, swearing softly when he saw the time. 'I've got to go.'  He said standing abruptly, 'or I'll be late.'  He hurried from the room shooting Lois a last encouraging smile as he did.

'He's right girlie.'  Came a gruff voice from her left sending her head swinging round to face Alastor Moody's wide-open eyes.  'You _could _do better and unlike Quade, I _do_ know Snape of old.' 

'Thank you but I really don't need your opinion.'  Lois said coolly still remembering that Snape had told her Moody was one of the wizards who would be happy to see him imprisoned.  Or dead.  'And if you're about to tell me he was a Death Eater don't bother - I already know.'

'Told you did he?'  The ex-Auror asked surprised.  'Smart man.'  He muttered his face twisting.  'Must've decided to beat everyone else to the punch, make himself look more trustworthy that way.'

Lois didn't bother to reply.  His hatred was too ingrained to be swayed by anything she might say anyway.  

'And as a matter of fact child that wasn't what I was going to say.'  He said in a suddenly hard voice.  'Just wanted to tell you know in case no one else has, that Love Potions do exist and I'm talking about real ones, not the kiddy variety that'll just get you a kiss on the cheek if you're lucky.  True Love Potions might be illegal, but Snape wouldn't be the first unscrupulous wizard to use one on an unsuspecting female and it'd be easy enough for him as well.  Wouldn't have to go traipsing down Knockturn Alley after one that's for sure - he's a skilled potions master, I'll give him that.'  He said with grudging respect.

'Well that's where you're wrong.'  Lois said hotly, tired of being treated like she was just left of insane for liking Snape.  'Because I'm not in love with him, not that it's any of your business, and if you're about to suggest a Lust Potion then you're still barking up the wrong tree - I was attracted to him the first time I met him, so my feelings for Severus have got nothing to do with a potion of _any_ type.' She finished triumphantly.

'Suit yourself.'  He said indifferently at her mutinous expression.  'Don't say I didn't try to warn you though.'  He growled before closing his eyes once more.

Giving the relaxed figure a filthy glare Lois stomped towards the door so angry she could spit.  In fact she was so angry, she didn't notice his eye winking open, his wand drawn in a flash as he sent a spell hurtling after her departing figure, his grizzled face creasing in surprise when the Altered Emotion Spell was negative.

**

Snape rose wrathfully from the chair in the staff room that he had occupied pleasantly enough for most of the afternoon. Pleasantly enough, that was, until half an hour ago when Sibyll Trelawney had made one of her rare excursions from her divination room to venture into Hogwarts main building.  She had descended on Snape with flowing scarves and dreamy, innuendo-ridden prophecies, involving an unidentified Hogwarts Professor who, she claimed, would betray them all by returning to Voldemort's fold.  That was if in fact, they had ever _really_ left it.  When that topic had been met with bored indifference by Snape, she had swiftly moved on to the inevitable corruption of their new trainee at the hands of an unknown, duplicitous scoundrel, which the runes had _clearly _predicted that very morning.  

Although Snape had managed to successfully ignore the rest of her drivel, his temper finally snapped at this.  With a terse nod to Trelawney, he stormed out of the staff room and headed down to the dungeon to teach his second and final class of the day – Fourth year Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.  Tuesday's were always quiet for him with just two classes, the first and final periods of the day.  As his afternoon was free, he had chosen to spend it in the staff room; a decision that he bitterly regretted now and wondered what on earth had possessed him to think it a good idea in the first place. Of course that was a lie he mocked himself.  He knew perfectly well _why_ he'd done it.  Since Lois's arrival, he had taken to spending his non-teaching hours marking homework and making lesson plans in the staff room in the hopes she would appear at some stage.  

Unfortunately today she had not and after being forced to endure Trelawney's nonsense, he was consequently in an absolutely foul mood as he descended the steps to the gloomy dungeon.  His already poor disposition was not improved by the cluster of Slytherins he ran into heading upstairs from their common room.  They all had slyly amused grins on their faces and two of the girls giggled nastily as he passed.  He looked down at his robes irritated, wondering what had amused them, only to be further annoyed by another Slytherin boy dashing up the stairway, whistling a happy tune.  The dungeons were rarely a place of frivolity and he levelled a cold glare on the surprised sixth year who fell quickly silent, walking more soberly until he was out of Snape's sight, when the cheerful whistling began again.

Muttering angrily under his breath, Snape turned the corner to the sounds of more muffled laughter.  His class was already outside his room, but instead of their normal gloomy expressions and miserable silence, they were all gathered tightly around the large wooden door, peering over each others shoulders in an attempt to get a better look through the small gap at whatever was going on inside.  He hurried forward his angry face stilling their excited whispers and scattering them quickly away from him.  Pushing the door open fully he stepped inside ready to annihilate whoever it was that had had the nerve to enter his classroom without permission.  The angry words froze on his lips as his stunned glance took in the spectacle that confronted him.

Lois stood amid the wreckage of his ruined room bent over one of the stone sinks at the end of the class, unaware of his presence over the noise of her singing as she scrubbed away furiously at some object.  He had no idea what the song was, probably muggle music; something about "night breezes seem to whisper I love you." With angry realisation Snape suddenly recognised the song as the chirpy tune the Slytherin boy had been whistling, _that_ was why they had all been cackling, they had seen this and had been mocking _him_.  He must have made some sound in his rage because Lois turned suddenly a huge smile on her face as she saw him.

'Oh Severus!  Darn it I wanted to be finished before you arrived.  Time must have gotten away from me I guess - you see, I had to do some of it the muggle way because I didn't know the spells.'  She chattered on blithely unaware of his simmering anger. 'What do you think?'  She said brightly looking around proudly.

What did he _think? _He thought he was going to be a laughing stock as soon as the rest of the students heard about this, _that's_ what he thought and if the other Professors had been suspicious before, this would remove any last lingering doubt as to the closeness of their relationship.  Looking around the room again, he gazed in horror at the once dreary and slime covered grey stone walls of his classroom that had now been enchanted to glow a bright, sunshiny yellow.  Spaced along the shelves, the numerous jars and bottles of pickled animals had been scrubbed till they sparkled and the glass in them frosted so that the disturbing items within couldn't be clearly seen.  The familiar smell of sulphur and damp had been replaced by a sweet, flowery fragrance that he couldn't quite place, but worst of all, the normally dank and gloomy room shone with weak light from small gleaming windows perched high in the walls, which had previously been so grimy and covered with untold years worth of filth, even he had forgotten they were there. 

'What possessed you…?' He managed between gritted teeth.

Still unaware of his displeasure Lois cheerfully continued. 'Well last week Poppy asked me to update all the staff and student medical records, poor thing's been so busy she hasn't had chance to do it for simply ages.  Anyway, when I got to yours I noticed today was your birthday so I thought as a surprise…' She opened her arms wide indicating the room, 'Tadaa!' She finished grinning widely.

His birthday.  He'd forgotten all about it until she had just mentioned it and now that he did remember, he was even more angry.  _This_ was her idea of a present?  His dungeon turned into what could now pass quite happily for a bloody tearoom it was so clean and cosy.  

Lois's face slowly fell as she finally realised that his response to her gift was not all she had hoped.  'Severus.'  She said carefully.  'Don't you like it?'

'No I do not bloody well like it!'  He bellowed, slamming the dungeon door shut as he did so, noticing out of the corner of his eye the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students peering curiously in.

'But…'

'But nothing.  When did I ever give you the impression that I needed or wanted your assistance in my classroom, let alone your constant interference in my personal life!'  He raged filled with an irrational anger that part of him even now recognised was over the top. Once he'd started however, he simply couldn't stop.  He was overwhelmed by the feelings of futility that had been building over the last confusing week and had finally come to a head following his encounter with Trelawney.  She was right.  They were all right.  He _would _corrupt Lois - in the eyes of most people she would be guilty simply by association.  It might be a cliché, but it was true nonetheless.  And she just _wouldn't_ see it.  Despite knowing about his past she persisted in seeking him out, spending time with him, trying to draw him out of his lonely isolation with her damned unwavering optimism.  But this hellish, close and no closer relationship they had, was only making him painfully aware of what he was missing. 

Suddenly it was all just too much and he wanted nothing more than for her to feel as dreadful as he did.  A black, blistering rage engulfed him, caused in no small way by his mounting frustration at her recent refusal to respond to his anger.  He was sick of her casually accepting attitude, if the only reason for it was that she simply didn't care enough about him for what he had done _to_ matter.  He knew how easy that was; he had spent most of his life not giving a second thought to anyone or anything – the very attitude that had led him into trouble in the first place.  

His attention was drawn back to her at the quiet sound of surprise she made, her look of dazed incomprehension instead of cooling his rage, succeeding only in raising it a notch further.

'Do you realise what everyone one will assume from this?  From the way you've been acting?'  He said stalking forward to glower over at her.  'They'll think we're sleeping together, do you want that?  Do you want them laughing and sniggering at you behind your back, because I certainly don't.  By the gods, they'll have an absolute field day with this!'  She dropped her eyes from his at that, staring instead at the cold stone floor, but his anger was such he barely even noticed.  'What on earth makes you believe you are in any position to preach to me anyway?  Good lord woman, you've been here four months and you still get lost on the way to lunch!  You don't even know enough magic to clean a room and yet you think you're equipped to tell me how to teach my class?  I assume that is the real reason behind this _gift_ - providing pleasanter surroundings in the hope it will transform me into the spineless paragon of scholastic virtue you're always bleating on about.  Well it won't!'

He breathed in deeply, his fury beginning to burn itself out and awareness gradually returning, as he realised she hadn't spoken a single word in her defence since his tirade had begun.  He looked down at her small frame and bowed head, and felt a sharp jolt of shame that succeeded in cooling the last remnants of his rage.  He pushed his fingers wearily through his hair and sank down onto the edge of a nearby desk, sighing heavily.  With the slow return of sanity came the realisation that he had overreacted.  Badly.  He should have just thanked her for her thoughtfulness and explained why it was best to put it all back before people began to talk.  He sighed again and said in a softer tone. 

'Achelois. I apologise – I shouldn't have said that.  It was just…'

'Oh don't worry, I know what it was just.' Lois interrupted, looking up to impale him with wounded eyes.  'You don't want me interfering in your life? Well fine I won't!'

'I didn't mean…' 

'Yes you did!  You must have already have already been thinking all those things subconsciously for it to spew out so easily just then.  I know I can be a bit annoying and pushy sometimes, but I thought we were friends. I had hoped that….  Well it doesn't matter now.  I can see I was wrong.'  She said her voice trembling with anger, her cheeks flushed.

Standing, Snape watched warily as she dashed away the angry tears that had formed before walking stiffly towards the door, swinging back round almost immediately to fix him with a hard glare.

'You know I honestly don't know what the hell it is you want Severus, but it obviously isn't me.  If you were fed up with having me constantly around you _could_ have just told me – you don't have to beat me over the head with it, I'm not _quite_ that stupid.'  She said her eyes flashing fire for a second before dulling again. 'I apologise for the inconvenience Professor Snape and for interrupting your class like this.' She continued in a frigid tone.  'I'll make sure it doesn't happen again.'

Snape watched as the room reverted to its normal gloomy state in the blink of an eye.  His stomach twisted painfully with regret and he held out his hand to stop her as she slid past him, her face as lacking in warmth and sparkle as his cold, dark dungeon.

'Lois… will you just wait…' He began, but she swept out of the door, head held high not sparing him another glance.

Snape sank boneless onto a nearby stool burying his face wearily in his hands for a second.  What the devil had possessed him to say those things?  He'd be lucky if she ever spoke to him again - four months of hard work down the drain because his stupid pride objected to the thought of pity?  What an idiot!  But on the upside, a sly voice whispered in his head, that certainly wasn't indifference she'd been experiencing just then.  As a matter of fact she had been absolutely furious with him he realised pleased, before immediately feeling guilty for his spurt of pleasure.  He _shouldn't_ have said those things to her.  Underneath the anger there had been genuine hurt in her eyes when she glared at him.  He looked up as he heard a scuffling noise by the door, finally remembered his class was still out there.  

Straightening and feeling a curious mixture of depression and hope, he stood and looked around his room one last time; it was almost completely back to normal. Glancing over to his desk he noticed something on top of the parchments spread there, peering closer he saw that it was Lois's wand.  Puzzled he walked over to pick it up turning its significance over in his mind.  Lois has been nowhere near his desk when they had argued, which meant her wand must have been on his desk for some time.  Yet he had watched with his own eyes when she had reversed all the spells on the room.  Thinking back, he realised abruptly, she hadn't spoken any words either.  That was strange, more than strange actually.  How on earth had she managed that?   

He was suddenly exceedingly grateful for this odd turn of events.  He would have to speak to her about it - once she calmed down - and maybe then he could get her to listen to his apology.  Feeling considerably more optimistic than he had for quite a while he swept to the door finally allowing his class entrance.

**

Avoiding Severus was a lot easier said than done, Lois thought three days later.  Before their little falling out, it had generally been she who sought him out rather than the other way round.  Now suddenly the dratted man was everywhere!  

After a number of lucky misses, she had taken to avoiding the Great Hall altogether for meals and instead visited the kitchens to eat.  She also hadn't been inside the Staff Room since she had run into Severus the very next day after their argument.  Luckily the room had been full and after shooting him an evil glare that had stopped him dead in his tracks, she had made a hurried excuse and returned back to the Infirmary as though the hounds of hell were at her heels. 

Lois admitted reluctantly that this couldn't go on; she was going to have to confront Severus and soon, but not today she decided weakly.  She was still too raw from their argument, but was sensible enough to realise the anger and hurt she felt had been caused more by her high hopes being dashed, than by his words.  She would go to his dungeons tomorrow she decided, stomach lurching sickly, and demand to know once and for all exactly where she stood with him

Peering warily down the long corridor that led to the hospital wing, Lois headed off to begin her shift with Poppy.  A tap on her shoulder just as she reached the door, had her swinging round furiously ready to confront the man she had spent all day arguing with in her head.  However, instead of the black haired Potions Master she had expected, she found herself glaring into the surprised warm eyes of Remus Lupin.

'Have I caught you at a bad time?' He asked warily taking in her tense form and angry expression.

'No! No Remus, I'm sorry.' Lois said on a sigh, clasping his arm.  'I thought you were someone else that's all.'

'And that someone else wouldn't be Severus would it by any chance?'  Remus asked amused.

'What makes you say that?'  She said sharply

'As you know the rumours fly thick and fast around Hogwarts and this week you and Professor Snape are at the centre of all of them.  The entire school is completely on your side, with the exception of the Slytherin's of course.  Even being on your side, everyone is still rooting for you to forgive him just to put them out of their misery.'

'Why are they miserable?'  Lois asked warily.  

'Severus's fouler than usual mood.  I think every House is on negative points at the moment and even Slytherin's in single fingers.'  He laughingly exaggerated.

'Don't blame me, he should be filled with joy and giving out points left, right and centre now that I've stopped interfering in his personal and professional life.'  Lois muttered bitterly.

'He said that?'  Remus asked wincing.

'And worse.  You know, it's not my fault I've had to learn magic back to front.'  She suddenly declared.  'Maybe I _do_ get a tiny bit lost sometimes but it's a big castle, and perhaps I don't know _all_ the spells to clean a room, but I can practically diagnose a greenstick fracture at twenty paces - that's nothing to be sniffed at!'

'It most certainly isn't!'  Remus agreed firmly having absolutely no idea what she was talking about, but guessing it had to do with Snape.  'Ah Lois, I'm sure he didn't mean it, Severus just isn't used to having people around.  I expect it all got just a bit much for him and he… exploded.  I'm sure he regrets it now.'  He said softly.

'What's this, are you defending him?'  Lois demanded surprised.  'Didn't he get you fired two years ago?'

'Not fired – I resigned.  But you're right he didn't leave me with much choice.  It's just that he looks so damn miserable lately I can't help but feel sorry for him.  And on purely selfish grounds it would be better for all of us if you two made up – it hasn't gone unnoticed how much improved his mood has been since you arrived.'

'It has?'  Lois asked interested in spite of herself.  Although she got the impression from students and teachers alike that Severus was a hard man to be around, she suspected she had never seen him at his absolute worst, even after their argument.  She ignored the warm glow that started in her stomach at the thought of Severus being on his best behaviour for her.  She was angry with him, damn it and she was entitled to stay that way.  At least until tomorrow anyway. 

'What time do you finish tonight Lois?'  Remus asked, disturbing the delicious fantasy she was in the middle of, involving Snape on bended knee begging her forgiveness while she laughed cruelly in his face.

'Erm, four.' She answered snapping back to reality with difficulty.  'Why?'

'My last class is at two today and I don't have to be on hall patrol tonight either.  Why don't you and me head over to Hogsmeade and make a night of it, see if that doesn't cheer you up any?'

'I don't know.' Lois said uncertainly, not sure she was fit company for anyone at the moment.

'Come on Lois.'  Remus coaxed. 'We'll go to Zonko's and Honeyduke's and then head on over to the Three Broomstick for a Butterbeer.   I'll even show you the Shrieking Shack.'  He said clinching the deal; Lois has been dying to see it since she first heard about it from the Weasley twins.

'Okay.'  She said and was rewarded with his approving smile.  Arrangements were made for them to meet outside the castle later and Lois headed off to the Infirmary with a spring in her step.  Truthfully though, she wasn't sure whether her good mood was due to the planned night out, or Remus's comments about Snape.

**

Lois woke with a groan and with difficulty prised open her bleary eyes, slamming them shut almost immediately when harsh morning light hit them painfully.  

The first thing she had noticed during her few brief seconds of vision, was that the bed she was in was not her own. The second thing was that a small brass band with an unusually large drum section, seemed to be in the middle of a spirited practice session in her head.  Cautiously risking sneaking her eyes open again, she became aware that the gentle tapping underneath the loud pounding she could hear, was not coming from her own head as she had first thought.  Staggering slightly she rose from the large bed and made her way across the strange room to the door the noise was coming from.  Opening it slowly she raised her head, which felt far too heavy for her neck to support and looked up into the pained eyes of Remus Lupin.

'Good, you're up.'  He managed hoarsely.

Lois nodded and her head nearly exploded from the pain that simple movement caused. 'Remus,' she whispered through dry lips and a tongue that felt the size of ten.  'Where the hell are we?'

'You don't remember?'  He said with a small grin, which disappeared with a pained wince almost a soon as it began. 'The Three Broomsticks?  Firewhisky, Firewhisky and wait let me think, that's right – Firewhisky.'    
  


'Oh Lord yes.' Lois whispered, everything coming back in an embarrassing flash.  

They had spent a lovely afternoon in Hogsmeade and had headed over to The Three Broomsticks just as it was beginning to grow dark.  Over delicious warm Rum Butterbeers and pumpkin pasties Lois and Remus had happily exchanged life stories, with the firm ground rule that Severus Snape and all old romances were out of bounds.  Everything had been going swimmingly until their pasts had wandered into gloomy territories and they had decided with the addled logic of the semi-inebriated that something with a bit more kick to it would cheer things back up.  By the time the Firewhisky had done its job and they were once again merry, why, what better way to celebrate their improved mood than with more Firewhisky?  

She vaguely remembered at one stage teaching Remus some muggle songs, which he had then joined her in enthusiastically, if not entirely tunefully.  During a rather boisterous rendition of  "It's Not Unusual" Rosmerta had appeared and shepherded them both upstairs to rooms in the pub in order to sleep it off.

Lois groaned again and looked up at Remus with shame.  'I can't believe we did that.  What if it gets back to Hogwarts?'  She asked panicked.

'Don't worry.'  Remus assured, his voice not quite as rough as it had been when he first spoke.  'Rosmerta is the soul of discretion and although I'm guessing you didn't notice, by the time we started getting rowdy we were the only customers left.'

'Are you sure?' Lois breathed with relief.

'Positive.'

'Thank god for that.  What time is it anyway?'

'Early, but we still have to get back to Hogwarts and cleaned up before classes.'

Lois risked a small nod.  'Okay give me five minutes and we can be off.'  She mumbled, shutting the door and heading for the bathroom in the hope that a quick shower would help make the trek back to the castle bearable.  When she opened the door a little after her promised five minutes, it was to find Remus on the floor outside her room, his back resting against the wall.  He opened bloodshot eyes on hearing her approach and with a groan struggled to his feet.

The cold morning air luckily managed to revive the two of them during their walk back through Hogsmeade and Lois gave a groan of relief as they approached the large wooden door of Hogwarts.

'Well Remus,' she said in a sweet voice 'I had a wonderful time.  Let's never do it again.'

He gave a shout of startled laughter and nudged her playfully with his shoulder in retribution.  Unfortunately her balance was not all it could be at that moment and she would have landed in a crumpled heap on the floor if his quick reflexes hadn't saved her.  They continued up the stone steps and into the castle with Remus's arm still wrapped tight around her waist and laughter on both their lips.  Unfortunately they were in that same position, when the open door revealed Snape and Dumbledore stood stock still staring at them from the entrance hall.  Their laughter stilled immediately and Snape shot such an accusing glance at the arm around her waist that Lois sprang guilty away from Remus before she could stop herself.  Snape jerked to attention and took a step towards them before seeming to reconsider and standing still once more, pinning Lois with a furious glare.

The awkward silence that had fallen was thankfully broken by Dumbledore. 'Ah there you both are.'  He said happily.  'You see Severus, I told you Lois would be quite safe with Remus.'

'So it appears.'  Snape answered tightly.  'Achelois may I have a word with you do you think?'

'Actually Severus.'  She replied politely, aware of their audience.  'As you can see we've only just arrived back and I'd really like to go to my room before…'

'It will only take a minute.'  He said his teeth bared in what she assumed was a smile. 

'Ahh, I think I'll head for my room myself, if no one minds?'  Remus butted in his lips twitching. 

'Excellent idea.'  Dumbledore agreed walking with the other man to the staircase, both of them ignoring Lois's sharply indrawn breath at their abandonment. 'We'll see you two at breakfast.'  He smiled benignly his blue eyes twinkling behind his glasses. Remus gave Lois a slightly questioning raise of his eyebrows that she nodded to.

'Where the hell have you been!'  Severus snarled the second the others were out of earshot, bending his head until their noses were almost touching his right hand shooting out to grasp her upper arm to prevent her from moving away.

Yesterday's softening attitude towards him flew out the window at his words, her own ire coming to the fore in the face of his blatant double standards

'None of your damned business!'  She stormed back, wrenching her arm out of his hold.  'You didn't want me interfering in your personal life remember, so don't come trying to stick your nose into mine!'

He closed his eyes before counting to ten in attempt to regain control of his temper, quickly realising that this approach was getting him nowhere.  When he felt calm enough to talk once more, he opened his eyes again to find Lois glaring at him angrily.  

'Actually I was _worried_ about you Lois.  I didn't know where…'

'Worried? Oh no, you didn't let anyone _see_ did you?'  She asked sarcastically.  'They might get the wrong impression and think you're sleeping with me and god knows, you wouldn't want that!'

'That wasn't what I …'

'While we're on the subject, I'm curious actually - what exactly _is_ the problem with people thinking you're involved with me?'  She said in an arctic voice.  'Am I not witchy enough for you, is that it?'

'Lois, if you will just let me speak I am attempting to explain…'

'I bet that's it, isn't it?  She asked angrily.  'Would the rest of the purebloods laugh at you if they thought you were sleeping with a muggle like me?' 

'No!  Will you kindly shut bloody up and listen for a minute?  All I meant…'

'Oh I know what you meant, you arrogant, ungrateful…' 

At that point, all further argument was silenced by the highly effective method of his lips landing forcefully on hers.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**    Lois and the Slytherin boy were singing and whistling respectively, 'Dream a Little Dream of Me'- the wonderful Beautiful South version.  Remus and Lois – Tom Jones.  I know, I know but some songs just sound better when you're drunk.

Thank you all _so_ much for the reviews.  When I first started this story I decided that if I actually finished it and I'd gotten more than 30 reviews I'd be happy.  Can you imagine how happy I am now?  No, you're not imagining anywhere near hard enough – make it a hundred times happier and you'd be nearly there.  Thanks again! 


	18. Birds Do It, Bees Do It

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

For a second shock held Lois utterly still in his arms as his mouth closed over hers, quickly taking the opportunity to deepen the kiss when she didn't immediately protest.  By the time she had gathered her thoughts sufficiently to even consider being outraged by his actions, she was mired in pleasure so deep she doubted the school collapsing around her ears would have made her pull away.  Snape's hands still grasped her upper arms where he had placed them to drag her towards him as the kiss began, but for Lois it wasn't close enough; she gave a protesting moan on discovering his firm grip was effectively pinning her arms to her side and preventing her from twining them around his neck as she wanted to.  Denied that pleasure she melted bonelessly against him, sinking blissfully into the kiss.  

Her sudden capitulation seemed to bring Snape to his senses and he froze briefly before reluctantly disengaging his lips from hers, pushing her gently away from him as he did to hold her firmly at arms length. 

Lois stared up at him dazedly, her breathing harsh, her whole body thrumming with awareness, completely bewildered by his action. Why the hell had he stopped?  As the question was running through her head, Snape suddenly seemed to realise his hands were still curled around her shoulders and he quickly released his grip, dropping one of his hands to her waist in a steadying gesture that she was intensely grateful for.  She wasn't sure her legs would hold her at the minute.

'Does that answer your question?'  He rasped, his breathing almost as heavy as hers.

'Umm, question?'  Lois murmured confused.  She had never been so affected by a kiss in her life - the man had magic lips.  Even in her current state she could still be amused by that thought - he literally and figuratively _did_ have magic lips and what very fine work he did with them too.  Another nice bonus – as if she needed one - was that the headache she had woken with appeared to have completely disappeared now.  The curative properties of Severus's lips, she mused vaguely - that alone had to be worthy of further study.  With awareness slowly returning, she looked up into his face to find him focussing rather warily on the slightly dreamy smile she still wore, his own expression hidden behind hooded eyes.

'Whether my objecting to people suspecting we were sleeping together meant that I in someway found you physically unappealing, which I hope I have clearly proved that I do not.  However, that is no excuse for my behaviour.'  He apologised stiffly, removing his hand from her waist and taking a step back.  'I shouldn't have manhandled you like that.'

'Manhandle?'  Lois parroted, having difficulty making sense of his rapid explanation.  

'At the time it seemed like the quickest method of convincing you that I in no way meant to disparage you with my words the other day.'  He explained distantly in control once more, his breathing already returned to normal.  'When I spoke about others deriding the possibility of us being … involved my concern was for your reputation, not mine.' He assured sincerely.

'Oh.  Oh of course!'  Lois rushed to say, stark disappointment clearing the last traces of fuzziness from her mind - trust Severus to ignore the social niceties and get straight down to the most efficient way of solving a problem.  Still it was rather an _extreme_ method of proving a point, even for him.  Her tongue snaked out unconsciously to lick her dry lips, uncertainty slowly beginning to spread.  Her doubts were quickly wiped out as she watched intrigued as his eyes dropped immediately to her mouth, seemingly hypnotised by her quick action.  That was… odd.  Not the reaction of someone who had been merely attempting to prove a point.  Testing her theory she licked her lips again, slower this time and saw him swallow convulsively before lifting his arm to run a not quite steady hand through his hair.  Pleasure burst through her – he most definitely _had_ kissed her because he wanted her, whatever he said.  _Liar, liar robes on fire_, chanted a singsong voice in her head.  

'Well?'  He said loudly breaking into her thoughts.

'Well what?'  She asked distractedly having totally missed whatever he had said.

'Do you accept my apology?'  He snapped impatiently.

'Oh yes!  Of course.'  Lois beamed.  'You know Severus…'

'Good.'  He interrupted quickly seemingly not wanting to hear what she had been about to say.  'Because there is actually a rather important matter we need to discuss.'  He continued, the seriousness of his tone temporarily pushing all thoughts of confronting him out of her head.

It was probably for the best right now anyway.  This morning had been disturbing enough as it was – waking up in a strange bed, discovering Dumbledore and Snape waiting at the castle like worried parents, arguing with Severus and then of course that fantastic kiss out of the blue.  The last thing she needed was Filch wandering in, mop in hand, to find her wrestling Severus out of his clothes in the middle entrance hall, which she was about two seconds away from attempting.  She was pretty sure he wouldn't object now either.  

'Well what is it?'  She prodded when he didn't immediately speak.

'The spells you cast on my classroom…'

'Not that again!'  She exploded.  'I _said_ I was sorry…'

'Wait a minute!'  He held up a hand calmingly. 'If you will just let me explain; I am not talking about what you did, I am talking about what you _undid_.'

'What do you mean – undid?'

'When you left my room after our argument all of the magical alterations you had made were reversed.  I simply wanted to find out if you were aware of what you had done?  I didn't hear you use a spell and I know you couldn't have used your wand because you left it behind on my desk.'

'I didn't reverse the charms.'  Lois protested bewildered.  'When I went you still had a pleasant classroom instead of that chamber of horrors you apparently prefer.'  She pointed out caustically, finally remembering her anger with him over that.

'Ah yes… well as I _have_ already explained Lois, I was simply concerned about the possible damage you were causing your reputation with your actions.'  He said calmly. 'I was also not in the best of moods following a rather trying week and an encounter with Sibyll Trelawney, who had also raised the exact same concerns in her own inimitable style.'  He continued with a dark look.  'My annoyance mixed with having to endure Trelawney's nonsense was a rather dangerous combination and unfortunately the very next thing I encountered was you and your gift.  Needless to say I reacted rather badly.'

'Yes you did - I'd spent hours working on that dungeon.  _And_ I'd enchanted a card for you too.'  Lois was unable to resist saying despite being pacified by his explanation; she hadn't had much to do with Professor Trelawney, but she could well understand how her veiled insults trotted out under the guise of having "the sight" could infuriate even the most placid of people and Severus was most definitely not that. 

'Will I actually be receiving it now that I've apologised?'  He asked with an enquiring lift of his eyebrow.

'Oh!  Well you see… I didn't think you'd want it after everything you said.'  Lois explained.  'And since then it may have got a little… ripped into tiny pieces and thrown in the bin.'  She finished in a rush.

Snape's lips twisted with amusement at her reluctant confession.  'No less than I deserve.'  He conceded fairly.

'I'll buy you two next year.'  Lois promised, smiling herself now.

'Thank you.'  He said with an acknowledging tilt of his head.  'And I will endeavour to react in a more gracious manner when you do.  Now where were we?' He asked returning to their previous subject, all levity fading in the blink of an eye.

'I was telling you that it wasn't me that removed the charms.'

'As I suspected.'  Snape muttered to himself.  'I have already discussed this with the Headmaster and he has mentioned he would like to speak to you about it.  Since we are all awake so unusually early this morning,' he said with a flash of sarcasm. 'We may as well make use of the fact and go and pay him a visit.'

'Now?'  Lois questioned surprised.  'There isn't a problem is there?'  She asked, worry evident in her tone.

'I'm sure there will be a simple explanation.' He assured her briskly ushering her out of the entrance hall. Arriving at the statute that guarded the entrance to the Headmasters chambers minutes later, Snape waved his hand at Lois to indicate she give the password.

'Fruit and Nut.' She promptly supplied, smiling as she watched his lips curl in distaste realising he couldn't bring himself to say it.

'How very apt.'  He muttered with a disparaging shake of his head allowing Lois to enter before him.  Quietly tapping the door to his office, Dumbledore's chipper voice immediately bade them welcome and Lois hid a disappointed sigh - she had half hoped he had gone back to bed.

'Ah Lois, Severus!'  Dumbledore greeted them pleasantly. 'You have managed to sort out your misunderstanding I trust?'  He asked with an approving smile seeing the two of them together. 

'Yes thank you.'  Lois managed hiding a grin of her own.

'Actually Headmaster this isn't a social visit.' Snape interjected firmly when Dumbledore appeared to be about to probe further into their reconciliation.  'I've brought Lois to see you to discuss the incident in my dungeon.  As I suspected she had no idea what had happened.'

'I see.' Dumbledore said a perplexed frown appearing on his brow, before quickly standing to shepherd them to chairs in front of his desk. 'Lois tell me, when you left the room do you recall wanting to return it to its original state?' He asked when they were all seated comfortably.

'I don't know.'  Lois said thinking back with difficulty; she hadn't been particularly rational at the time.  'I probably wanted to but I was too angry to stay and try.  Does it really matter though?  I mean when I first came here I read about children doing magic when they're upset - and I was _very_ upset.'  She said with a quick accusing look at Snape, who Dumbledore was amused to note, actually appeared almost guilty before his face swiftly returned to its usual impassive lines.  'It was probably just that wasn't it?'  She asked, tensing when she saw the troubled look the two men exchanged.  'What is it?'  She demanded warily.

'Well Lois from what Severus told me you managed to reverse all the charms that you had put in place previously.  The only things that did not revert to normal were the tasks you carried out by hand.'  

'Ye-es.' She agreed slowly, still not seeing what point he was trying to make.

'When children magically make something happen they are casting a spell, an unintentional and unknowing spell, but casting one nevertheless.'

'Well that's what I must have done too.'  Lois said promptly.   

'No you _reversed_ a spell already in place and not just one.'  Dumbledore explained. 'It appears as though you used Finite Incantatum, something an unaware witch could never do because they know no such spell.  The only reason children can cause magic is because they are experiencing a momentary surge of emotion that triggers an instinctive reaction, but they wouldn't be able to undo it again – which is one of the main reasons the Ministry has an Accidental Magical Reversal Department.  To actually practice real witchcraft Lois, as you have seen this past few months, both knowledge _and_ ability is required.'

'I don't understand Professor - what are you saying?' Lois asked confused.

'Truthfully I don't know myself exactly.'  Dumbledore admitted.  'Magic without a wand is possible.  Everyone is able to do it to some degree, but in most cases it's a very weak and diluted magic, not really strong enough to be of much use other than for the most basic of spells.  The problem is reversing a specific spell isn't basic and not only that Severus tells me you didn't use any words.  Now while I have come across a few people able to do silent magic and as I said, we all have the ability to create magic without a wand up to a point - but not using either Lois, that is a little… unusual.'  He finished carefully. 

'But I _do_ need a wand and the words.'  Lois insisted. 'This was probably just… well I don't know what it was, but there must be a reason!'

'Perhaps an experiment?'  Snape suggested watching Lois closely as her hands twisted together nervously in her lap.

'Excellent idea Severus!'  Dumbledore smiled.  'I should have thought of it myself – I'm sure a small test will help us get to the bottom of this.'  He said with an encouraging nod at Lois who was chewing her lower lip anxiously.

'Okay.  What should I do?' Lois asked standing up.

'Something simple I think.'  The Headmaster mused holding out his hand for her wand, which she had pulled from her pocket.  'How about Wingardium Leviosa - you know that spell?'

'Yes - one of the first ones Fillius taught me.'  She agreed as Dumbledore produced a feather for her and placed it carefully on the edge of his desk.

'All right then Lois and don't forget - think the words don't say them.  Off you go!'

Lois closed her eyes and for a cowardly second considered not even trying.  She didn't like the sound of this at all.  What if she really _could_ do spells without words?  What if she got annoyed after she'd learnt one of the Unforgivable's and accidentally hurt someone.  Or killed them.  The possibility of that made her decision for her, if she was going to be a danger she needed to know.  Concentrating on the spell with all her might, she cautiously inched her eyes open a second later, enormously happy to see the feather unmoved.  Feeling more confident she opened her eyes wide and tried again, practically screaming the words in her mind this time.  Still nothing.

'It didn't work.'  She said with a relieved puff of air.

'It certainly didn't.'  Dumbledore agreed, his head tilted musingly to one side.

'But how do you explain what happened Headmaster?'  Severus asked moving to stand beside Lois, who was extremely grateful for his comforting closeness.

'Hmm, I suppose the anger you were experiencing _could_ have caused a sudden spike in your magical ability.'  He mused rubbing his beard.  'Tell me how are the rest of your classes going?'

'Okay I think.  I'm still having some problems with Transfiguration but that's all really.'

'And your work with Poppy?'

'Good.  She says I'm doing really well actually.' Lois admitted pleased.

'What about your empathic skills?'  

'Oh that - we seem to have hit a bit of dead end actually.  The meditation you suggested is going all right but the problem is finding anyone to practice on.  If the children come to the Infirmary with something serious, Poppy can't hang about while I'm trying to see if I can pick anything up and I haven't had much luck with minor illnesses.  Poppy says she's got an idea for something else to try, but she's not sure if she can arrange it yet.'  Lois informed him easily.  She had never been entirely happy with the idea of possessing empathic abilities and now that it seemed she might not have done, she had to admit there was a definite element of relief.

Dumbledore nodded a thoughtful expression on his face.  'It's possible I suppose that beginning such intense training at your age has made your magical abilities a little unstable in extreme situations.  I'm sure it's only until you're further along in your studies and your control increases.'  He hastened to reassure when Lois's eyes widened worriedly at his words. 'After all, your magic has been repressed for a good many years and now it has suddenly been given an outlet.  It may be that this was an episode of accidental magic similar to that which a child might experience, but altered by the fact that you actually _do_ know magic.'  

'So does this happen a lot with people like me?'

'Ah Lois yours _is_ a rather unique situation, there really is no frame of reference to compare it with I'm afraid.  It's actually quite an exciting development really!'  The Headmaster enthused.  'Although given that we have no definite explanation for what happened, it might be prudent to carry out some research into the subject.  That way we can see if there are any other documented cases of adults discovering they were a witch or wizard.  It could give us an insight into what happened to you and even if it doesn't, I expect you would enjoy comparing their experiences with your own.'  He smiled kindly.

Lois managed a sickly smile in return.  Exciting wasn't the word she would use.

A hand on her elbow had her turning towards Snape enquiringly.  'It doesn't appear there is anything more we can do right now.  Why don't you return to your room for a while before breakfast?'  He questioned.

'Yes I think I will.'  She agreed, keen to have some time alone to absorb everything that had happened that morning.

'We can leave this with you then Headmaster?'  The younger man asked already guiding Lois to the door.

'Certainly Severus.  And Lois, please don't worry about this; in all likelihood it will never happen again.  Don't forget you _have_ been in the castle for a number of months now and nothing of this nature has happened before and you weren't able to lift the feather just now either.  Even if you should experience another episode I'm confident the ability will burn itself out as your skills and control grows.'

Lois nodded relaxing a little looking into his calm blue eyes.  'I'm sure you're right.'  She agreed gratefully before following Severus from the room.

**

Sitting at breakfast an hour later Lois was feeling much better after a change of clothes and more than one cup of hot sweet tea.  Her improved mood was also helped by the fact that she had spent most of the time in her room attempting again to perform silent magic, without even a glimmer of success.  Whatever had been going on the other day, she realised to her great relief, it was looking more and more likely to have been a one off.  

Less pleasant was the amount of attention her reappearance at the staff table had caused. The other Professors were all obviously curious as to how she had Snape had managed to patch up their differences between dinner last night and breakfast this morning, but Lois made no attempt to enlighten them.  She was just standing to leave the table as the post owls arrived, when Remus pulling on her sleeve stopped her.

'Lois this is for you.'  He smiled handing her a package addressed to him that he had already half opened.  Lois promptly sat back down to examine it with interest; she didn't know a magical soul outside of the school so she had never received any mail before - not even second hand.  Pushing open the wrapping on the parcel Lois recognised the packages she had brought in Hogsmeade yesterday along with her jewellery and gloves, all of which she must have left behind in her room at the Three Broomstick this morning. 

'Good grief I forgot about this stuff!'  She said with a wondering shake of her head, cautiously rattling the sweets Harry had asked her pick up for him to check for damage.   

'You're not safe to be let out on your own.' Remus teased.

'I wasn't _on_ my own.'  Lois reminded him standing again. 'And you're no better.'  She said triumphantly, handing him a single brown sock that she had just spotted peeping out from underneath one of her new robes, which definitely didn't belong to her.

Remus gave a soft chuckle quickly stuffing the sock into a pocket before anyone saw. 'I wondered where that had gone!'  

A quick tug on her elbow pulled her away from Remus's side and she found herself practically frog-marched from the Hall via the back entrance.

'Where exactly were you last night?'  Severus demanded once they were alone, ignoring her muttered complaints.

'You _know_ where I was; with Remus in Hogsmeade.'  Lois pointed out huffily, securing the parcel with difficulty.  

'Yes, but you have yet to explain why you didn't return to the castle until the early hours of this morning.'  He practically snarled.

Lois avoided his eyes.  There was no way she was admitting she had spent the night drowning her sorrows until she was so disgustingly drunk she couldn't be trusted to make the journey back. 'We were talking and lost track of time.  Once we realised how late it was, it seemed sensible to stay there rather than making the trek back in the dark.'  She shrugged.

'And did you have one room or two?'  He questioned darkly.

'Two of course!'

'So why then were your belongings returned to Lupin and not you?'  He demanded.

'I don't know.  Probably because Rosmerta didn't know my full name I suppose and there's not a lot of point sending a separate owl for a sock now is there?'  She questioned sarcastically, secretly delighted by this sudden show of blind jealousy.

'Is that the truth?' 

'Of course it is!'  Lois said growing impatient herself now.  'Remus is hardly likely to want to sleep with me anyway.  Because he's gay?'  She reminded him when he looked at her blankly. 'You can't have forgotten – you told me!'

'Of course, my mistake.'  He agreed his frozen expression slowly beginning to thaw.  'It has been something of a long night.'  He admitted pinching the bridge of his nose.

'Has it – why?  Did you stay up all night?'  Lois asked curiously, pleased by the idea of him sleepless with worry over her.  Jealousy, concern and a kiss all before lunch.  Today was shaping up _very _nicely indeed.

'No.' He growled, 'I simply meant I was working until quite late and then, as you may recall, I was up earlier than normal this morning.'

'Oh.'  Lois said slightly disappointed but quickly shaking it off. 'So how did you know I was in Hogsmeade?'

'Poppy told me when I went to the Infirmary to see you to try to discuss what had happened in my classroom.  After I discovered where you were, I set up a spell on the main door to alert me to your return.  When I awoke this morning and realised that the alarm had not sounded, I was naturally concerned for your safety.'  He said coolly.  'I bumped into Dumbledore on the way to check the spell, which is how we both came to be there when you arrived.'  In truth he had spent most of the night pacing his chambers willing the alarm to go off.  When it hadn't by first light he had continued his pacing in the entrance hall ready to pounce on her the second they arrived back.  It had been while he had been completing a fourth circuit of the ground floor that Dumbledore had come across him and despite his best efforts, Snape had been unable to convince the older man to return to his rooms.

Lois gave a quick nod at his explanation and a thick wedge of hair fell forward over her left eye as she did so.  Before she had chance to push it into place, Snape reached out and looped it behind her ear an intent look on his face as he smoothed the hair back, seeming fascinated with the way the light reflected across the pale strands.  Lois looked up into his dark eyes and the flare of desire that suddenly burned bright there halted the breath in her throat.  His hand dropped slowly away and he took a step forward lowering his head towards hers, before freezing abruptly, his eyes focussing sharply on something over her right shoulder.  With an annoyed growl he straightened quickly and stepped around her, his face tight with anger.

'Mr Weasley and Weasley, please do not insult my intelligence any further; I am fully aware of your presence – your hair is casting a red shadow.'  

Lois spun round to see the twins stepping hurriedly out from behind a large bronze figure of an eagle, looking highly chagrined at being discovered. 

'There is a reason, I trust, that the two of you are lurking behind a statue and spying on the private conversations of staff members?'  He asked with dangerous softness.

'Oh yes!'

'Definitely!'

'And would you care to enlighten us as to what it is?  Within the next five seconds gentlemen if you please.'  Snape ordered in an arctic tone.  

'Well we weren't _spying_ obviously Professor Snape.'  George protested in a dignified manner.  'Lo – er, Miss Scott, asked us to see her after breakfast this morning, but when we looked up at the staff table, she'd gone.  Luckily while we were on our way to class we heard her voice, so of course we came to look for her.' 

'We didn't want to interrupt your conversation so we thought it best we wait – unobtrusively  – until you'd finished, before letting her know we were here.'  Fred finished the tale, an innocent expression on his face that looked horribly out of place.

'Indeed?'  Snape said sceptically.  'Lois, does _any_ of this sound even vaguely familiar to you?'

Lois looked over into identical pleading expressions.  She visited Harry quite regularly in his common room and as a consequence she knew most of the Gryffindor students by sight and because of their connection to Ron, she naturally knew Ginny and the twins rather better than that.  But even if they hadn't been Ron's brothers, there would still have been no escaping Fred and George – they spent nearly as many hours in the Infirmary as she did.  In fact they had been there just yesterday.

'Oh yes, it must have slipped my mind.'  Lois lied reluctantly.  'How are you this morning boys?'

A look of quick relief spread across twin faces.  'All better.'  Fred said heartily holding out his hands for inspection.

'Almost there.'  George reported cheerfully holding out his own hands, the left of which was perfectly normal the right however, was nearly twice its original size, which was still a huge improvement on yesterday.  

Their latest invention was a pack of playing cards that seemed perfectly normal on first impression.  However, random cards within the deck had been impregnated with a variant of Swelling Solution they had created themselves. When the doctored cards came into contact with the skin for long enough, the Swelling Solution caused a sudden ballooning of the hand to gigantic proportions that should - in theory - deflate naturally after a few minutes.  Their newest product, Fred and George confidently assured her, would "amuse and delight the whole family (ages four and over)."   

Unfortunately their calculations had apparently been slightly off and five hours after testing the prototype pack, they still had hands large enough to be seen waving goodbye from the top of the astronomy tower.  At this point the twins had cheerfully conceded defeat and taken themselves off to the Infirmary and the scolding that inevitably awaited them from Madam Pomfrey

'So you did ask to speak to them?'  Snape questioned Lois suspiciously.

'Yes.'  She said feeling incredibly guilty. 'Although I meant up in the Infirmary of course.'

'Very well. Speak to Miss Scott.'  He said giving the twins a hard look. 'But if you are even a minute late for your next class you will have detention.  With me.' He barked before sweeping away down the corridor without a backward glance.  

Lois stifled a small groan watching him go, she was pretty certain he knew that she was lying.  She turned to fix the twins with an accusing stare.

'Sorry.'  They said simultaneously looking shamefaced.

'Oh that's not good enough by a long shot – why _were_ you spying on us?' Lois demanded.

'It wasn't just nosiness Lois, honest.'  Fred assured her.  'Harry's been really worried about you lately - you know with your… abnormally high Snape tolerance levels.'  He continued delicately.

'As you know, Harry's practically one of the family Lois, so naturally his concerns are our concerns.'  George said generously. 'And of course Harry's very fond of you which means…'

'You consider me an honorary Weasley–Potter hybrid by association?'  She questioned outwardly resigned, but actually quite touched.

'Exactly.'  George beamed pleased she had grasped the reasoning behind their actions so quickly. 'We noticed him dragging you out from breakfast and then when we spotted the two of you talking so seriously, we thought we'd hang around and make sure everything was okay.  I have to say, Snape certainly looked intense just now; for a minute there I thought he was going to kiss you Lois!'  He confided laughing uproariously at the thought.

'He might have if you two hadn't turned up.'  Lois muttered under her breath aggrieved.  George plainly didn't hear over his loud laughter but Fred's eyebrows rose in surprise before a slow grin spread over his face and his eyelid dropped in a sly wink at Lois.  She rolled her eyes in exasperation before fixing the two of them with a commanding stare.

'Okay then gentlemen this is what's going to happen.'  She said firmly when she had their complete attention.  'There will be no more spying on Professor Snape or myself in any form.'  She warned sternly.   Much as she liked the twins she knew them well enough by now to realise showing even the slightest hint of weakness around them was deadly.  'And there will definitely be no more covering up for you.  Next time you get caught you're on your own.  Are we agreed?'  She asked with a stern look. 

'Scout's honour.'  Fred swore solemnly.

'That might reassure me slightly more if I seriously thought for a second either of you ever _were_ scouts.'  Lois said dryly.  'But I mean it - I'll let Professor Snape deal with you next time.'  She promised.

'Don't worry Lois, we won't do it again – Snape's detentions are worse than Filch's.  How _did_ he know we were there anyway.'  George questioned his twin wonderingly.

'Well the tag must have told him I supp…' Lois said her eyes widening in horror as she quickly put a hand to her mouth cutting off the rest of her words.

'We're tagged?'  Fred demanded horrified.

Lois shook her head nervously. 'I didn't say that.'  She rushed into speech, looking around the deserted corridor warily.

'It's okay Lois, we won't let on you told us - we'll take it to the grave.'  George promised hastily before turning to his brother.  'That makes sense when you think about it.'  He said unable to hide the underlying pleasure that they were worthy of such extreme measures.

'I know you didn't mean to, but thanks for warning us Lois.'  Fred said seriously.  'We've suspected for a while now the Professors would try something like this – we've got a lot planned for this last year.  We want to go out with a bang not a whimper.'  He misquoted smiling wickedly.   

Lois worryingly suspected that they meant that literally. She grinned as the two of they said their quick goodbyes, walking back down the hallway talking in hurried whispers.  Maybe spending the next couple of days dousing themselves with spells trying to find non-existent magical tags would keep them out of trouble.  She doubted it.

**

Sitting in Severus's chambers later that night Lois looked over at him a fond smile on her face.  It was a little scary how relieved she was that they were talking again - even doing nothing more exciting than simply being in the same room as him while studying, she felt contentedly as if all was right with the world.  His feelings on the matter of their repaired friendship were, as usual, less clear.  When he had invited her to his chambers at dinner, she had hoped that he was planning on picking up where they had left of this morning.  Unfortunately a glass of wine was apparently all that was on offer, but she supposed that was a step in the right direction – she normally only got tea.  She took another sip of the excellent wine and noticed him absently doing the same over at his desk where he sat, head buried in scrolls of parchment muttering insults under his breath as his quill slashed angry red lines through entire paragraphs.  She watched amused, as an evil smile lit his face as he scribbled an obviously failing mark on the top of the unfortunate student's parchment with a flourish.  

He really was the grumpiest, foulest tempered, most objectionable man she had ever met, but looking at him now all she could summon up was mild exasperation.  _I don't know why I love him_, she thought with a small grin that froze in position as she heard the words echo hollowly again in her head.  Love?  When the hell had that happened?   Just a couple of days ago she had been confidently assuring Moody that she wasn't under the influence of a True Love potion and now all of a sudden this?  What had happened to "plenty of time" and "no need to rush?"  Where was her slow, non-terror inducing slide into love?  Gone, she admitted panicked; if she hadn't been so preoccupied with everything going on around her, she would have realised that the chance for that had long since passed.  How could she have been so stupid?  She had obviously been in love with him for a while now and had completely missed, or, more truthfully, ignored all the signs that pointed so obviously to that.  She reached up a shaky hand to yank at the neck of her robe, frighteningly feeling as though she were choking.

She must have made some sound in her distress, because Snape immediately raised his head and looked over at her questioningly.  'Is something wrong?'  He asked seeing her wide-eyed stare.

'No!  I have to go.' She said hurriedly, jumping up when he stood and started to walk towards her.  

'But…' He began before she held up a warning hand.

'I _have_ to go.'  She repeated dashing from the room as if the devil himself was behind her.

She only made it down two corridors before her shaking limbs simply refused to hold her a second longer and she slumped backwards against one of the damp stone walls, sliding noiselessly down it to sit on the cold floor.  What was she going to do?  Accepting that she wanted him had been easy; accepting that she loved him was another matter entirely.  _What's your problem?_  Argued a mocking little voice in her head.  _You had to have known this was coming?_  

Perhaps she had, somewhere, carefully shielded in the back of her mind, she acknowledged mournfully, but she had expected the love to develop months, maybe even years down the line.  Certainly far enough in the future to give her time to adjust and maybe even prepare herself for the horrible possibility of losing him.  Looking back on her decision not to shy away from pursuing a relationship with Severus, she saw now she hadn't been as brave or as honest as she had thought.  She had refused to give her emotions their true name and her reaction to discovering her love for him proved that deep down, she had cowardly hoped on some level to keep her heart safely intact, so that if the terrible day did ever come when she lost him, she would be able to go on.  Not easily maybe, but with time and hard work she would be able to get past the crushing grief as she had been forced to do before.

_And what if something does happen to him?  _The annoying voice questioned again.  _Will you feel better knowing you wasted precious moments because of fear?_  Of course she wouldn't and not only that, she realised, she was also guilty of being morbidly pessimistic.  Just because his role was dangerous didn't necessarily mean it was hopeless.  If anyone could pull it off, he could, she thought with a flash of pride.  And really what difference would it make now if they had ten years or ten days together – she loved him and it wasn't going to go away.  The acceptance of that simple fact brought with it unexpectedly, not more fear, but instead a blessed feeling of serenity

In fact thinking about it logically, apart from the mind numbing horror his spying induced, everything was pretty damn fine.  She loved him, this morning had proved conclusively that he most definitely wanted her and there were no major obstacles in their path.  The only other real cloud on the horizon was that while he seemed fond of her, he obviously didn't love her back.  Yet.  Severus was so innately distrustful, gaining his love might take a while, but the task certainly wasn't impossible.  She had faced steeper odds before; after all it had to be practically a million to one shot that the two of them had ever even met in the first place.  Still that wasn't what this was about right now she thought, a tingling excitement zipping through her veins.  _She_ was in love and she had plenty enough for two.

Filled with renewed determination she heaved herself from the cold floor and had actually already started back towards his room before she realised she had no plan as to how to proceed next.  Her efforts to be sweet and obliging had obviously gone unnoticed last week and even after kissing her this morning, he had seemed more wary of her reaction than hell-bent on ravishing her on the spot.  Poppy had been right when she warned that she was going to have to be more aggressive in her approach.  Her joking suggestion that she wait naked for him in his chambers certainly held a lot of appeal right now, Lois thought amused – at least there would be no mistaking _that _message.

Five minutes later she stood back outside his chamber door.  After sucking in a deep calming breath, she twisted the handle and entered the room without knocking to find Severus sitting back behind his desk, a pensive expression on his face which quickly changed to surprise at her sudden reappearance.

'Lois?'  He said standing and walking swiftly towards her stopping only inches away to take in her glittering eyes and flushed cheeks.  'Why did you rush off like that?'  He asked examining her closely.

'No reason…  I mean er… it's okay now.'  She assured, her nervousness making her voice slightly breathy.

He reached out his right hand placing it palm down across her forehead obviously checking for a fever. 

'I'm not ill!'  Lois insisted batting his hand away not wanting him to think she was delirious with a fever, which if he touched her burning skin would be exactly what he _would_ suspect.  Her left leg jiggled nervously as she looked around the room assessingly, displeased with her current position.  She moved hastily away from his nearness and the direct lamp light she was currently standing under, feeling much happier in the shadowed alcove near the wall, only the flickering firelight illuminating her now.  'I am a little hot though – do you mind if I take off my robe?'  She asked innocently her heart hammering.

'Of course not.'  He said carefully watching her intently, obviously hoping he would be able to find the answer to her odd behaviour in her face.

Taking a deep breath Lois drew her wand and with a quick wave of it, her plain black robes were gone.

'Is that what you've been wearing under your robes all this time?'  Snape asked hoarsely, his eyes wide and startled as he took in her slim form clothed in nothing now but lacy underwear, her skin gleaming gold under the warm glow from the fireplace.  'I thought you wore muggle clothing.'  He said blinking twice in rapid succession, as though he imagined his vision was at fault.

'A matter of personal preference.'  Lois teased repeating his words back to him from so many months ago.  Thankfully the feelings of terror that had been swamping her since she had decided on this plan of action, were beginning to recede slightly on seeing the heated desire that had flared instantly in his eyes at the sight of her.  However, when a full thirty seconds had passed and the only definite sign he had given that he was wasn't actually carved from stone was a convulsive swallow, her awkwardness returned full force and she began shifting her weight nervously on her cold, bare feet.  

'Severus.'  Lois prompted when she could stand it no longer.  'Ten minutes ago this seemed like a quirky and romantic way for a first night together we'd always remember but…'

'First night?'  Snape asked sounding slightly bemused.

'Yes first night!'  Lois squawked indignantly, eyes shooting sparks.  'I don't go in for one night stands Severus Snape so if that's what you've got in mind you can just…'

'No!  No.  That's fine. That's… perfect.  I… You just took me a little by surprise for a second.'  He assured quickly.

'Well okay.'  Lois mumbled mollified.  Her embarrassment was rapidly returning now that the flare of panic his words had caused had passed, and she was beginning to feel _very_ exposed once more. 

'As I was saying this _seemed_ like a good idea ten minutes ago, but if you don't do something pretty damn quickly Severus, my clothes are going back on and quite frankly, I don't think I'm ever taking them off again!'

Her nervous words seem to free him from his frozen stillness and he sprang into action, long strides eating the distance between them as he stopped millimetres away from her, staring down into her flushed face intently.  'Are you sure about this Achelois?'  He asked urgently. 'Because if you aren't you have exactly two seconds to change your mind.'  

Relief flooded her entire being at his impassioned words and fevered expression.  Despite her sureness that he wanted her after this morning, a nervous clamouring had begun that couldn't be quietened when he hadn't immediately responded to her actions just now.

'Time's up.'  He muttered swooping down to capture her lips, his arms wrapping tightly around her and lifting her from the ground until only the tips of her toes touched the floor.  The glorious sensation of his hands on her bare flesh was sending pinpricks of fire rushing along her nerve endings as she sank eagerly into his hard body, reaching up to bury her hands in his hair and pulling him deeper into the kiss.

With a reluctant groan he pulled away from her when breathing became a serious issue, but only for a second.  As they both gulped hasty oxygen into their starved lungs, Severus took the opportunity to press soft, biting kisses down the side of her neck and Lois tilted her head wantonly to allow him better access.  In some small, still lucid corner of her brain, she was distantly aware she had never before in her life felt such all-encompassing passion; her body no longer seemed to belong to her and she blissfully allowed it to continue purely on autopilot.  All thoughts fled as he turned his attention away from her neck, trailing a necklace of kisses along her collar bone.  Lois dropped her hands from his hair to clutch at his shoulders for dear life, aware it was only his hard arms wrapped tightly around her that was keeping her upright now.  He lifted his head at the feel of her short nails biting into his flesh to stare down into her face, his pupils dilated with pleasure, his nostrils flaring slightly.

'You are so beautiful.' He murmured softly, almost accusingly but his touch when he reached out to trail long fingers from her temple to her jaw was exquisitely gentle.  'I wonder sometimes if you're real.'  He said almost to himself cupping her jaw and rubbing his thumb slowly across her sensitised bottom lip, causing Lois to suck in a sharply indrawn breath at the rush of pleasure his simple caress caused. 

While her needy heart craved his whispered compliments - whether they were true or not - the sane, rational part of her mind demanded that he not feel obligated to say them just to please her. Severus simply wasn't a hearts and flowers type of man and she didn't expect him to try to make himself into one for her sake.

'Severus, it's okay – you don't need you to say those things.'  Lois murmured touched beyond measure that he had even thought to try.

He stilled suddenly, looking deep into her eyes before pressing his lips to hers in a soft, tantalising kiss unlike all the others that had gone before. 'I do.'  He said quietly bending to scoop her into his arms and cradling her high against his chest as he strode quickly towards the bedroom.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**    Hope that was okay chaps - I don't want to be corrupting any fragile little minds, so I thought it safer to err on the side of caution.  Hope no one's too disappointed.  Also some of the reviews last time mentioned being worried that the last chapter was the end of the story, so I thought it worth saying that this isn't the end either.  Miles to go – well a few more chapters at least **:)   **And really - thank you again everyone for all your reviews!


	19. Enjoy Yourself, it's Later Than You Thin...

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Lois woke to the most delicious feeling of well-being.  Her sleep fogged mind cleared in seconds and she remembered in vivid detail the night before.  She gave a small, satisfied sigh and snuggled back into the warm form behind her, her body aching pleasurably.  She had been exceedingly glad to discover Severus brought his meticulous and methodical nature to every task he undertook.  With the gradual return of awareness to her surroundings, she realised the bed she was lying in was deliciously soft and comfortable, much better than her own in fact.  It was also considerably larger, but given Severus's greater height she supposed that was unsurprising.  Not that the size of the bed mattered at the moment, she thought with a small grin; he was wrapped so tightly around her the tiniest single bed would have been plenty big enough for the two of them - it would probably have even had room to spare.  

Wiggling slightly in his firm embrace Lois attempted to turn to face him, but quickly found she was unable to move; she lay half on her left side, pinned firmly in place by an arm slung possessively around her waist.  It was lucky she wasn't in a rush to be anywhere, she contemplated amused; she would need to be Houdini to escape from his hold right now.  Although she had made no noise, her movements must have woken him, because she felt his sleep relaxed muscles slowly tense and shift with the return to wakefulness.  Lois took the opportunity to twist quickly in his arms, turning until she faced him to stare into his fluttering eyelids, which blinked sleepily for a second before quickly sharpening into focus.

'Good morning.'  She smiled.

'Good morning.'  He repeated huskily, the most beautiful expression of pleasure breaking on his features before immediately settling back into his normal enigmatic lines.

'So, Severus,' Lois said the same smile on her face.  'Quite the clinger I see.'  She teased indicating her currently completely enclosed state.

'I do not _cling_.' He replied very much on his dignity, but loosening his hold not even slightly.

'No, of course not.' Lois agreed her eyes gleaming with amusement. 'But you _are_ half octopus right?'

'I seem to recall you doing a fair bit of clinging yourself last night.'  He said calmly, obviously deciding against arguing the point, moving his head the necessary few inches to capture her lips in a warm kiss.

'You know me - if I'm not touching, I'm not happy and last night I was _very_ happy.'  Lois said softly, sincerity shining from her voice.  She was distantly aware she was grinning like loon, but she didn't seem capable of any other expression at the moment.

'Always glad to oblige.'  Severus said with mock conceit, finally loosening his hold on her to roll onto his back, linking his hands behind his head, an immensely self-satisfied expression on his face as he twisted his head to look at her from his position of supine indolence.   

Lois laughed in delight at his actions; she had never seen him so relaxed before.  'Ooh I like the sound of that!  I might even keep you around for a while.'  She said lightly, turning to crawl out of bed and missing the swift look of pain that tightened his features, before instantly disappearing as though it had never been there.  Inching herself gingerly backwards, Lois tried to drag the dark green cotton top sheet with her as she went, finally managing to wrap it awkwardly around her as she stood. 

'What's this?'  Severus asked watching her performance with disbelief.  'Modesty?  At this late stage?'

'I'll have you know I'm a very modest person normally.'  Lois defended her face slightly flushed, not quite confident yet to swan around naked in front of him, even after last night.  Although his chambers had no windows, the lamps magically recreated the lighting to suit the time of day and his bedroom was therefore sunny and bright and definitely had no dark corners to hide in.  'But desperate times call for desperate measures.'  She finished primly bending to pick up his plain white shirt she had just found on the floor, quickly dropping the sheet and pulling it on.  The shirt buried her nearly as completely as the sheet had, but with the sleeves rolled back it made a serviceable alternative until she could find her own clothes. Suiting action to thought, she headed into his sitting room returning moments later with her robe which she hung over the back of a chair.

'So what happens now?'  She questioned crawling back onto the bed to lean over him, staring down into his bottomless black eyes, the irrepressibly happy mood she had woken with dimming slightly as she waited for his response.

'Happens?'  Severus questioned cautiously, instantly looking less relaxed.

Was he afraid she expected a marriage proposal?  Or maybe a declaration of undying love?  Lois ignored the quick pang of disquiet that particular thought caused, before determined optimism overtook her once more.  She didn't expect him to immediately return her love and in fact she had no intention of telling him about it yet anyway.  It was much too soon and she didn't want to risk frightening him off.  Nevertheless she did want _some_ indication that they were actually in a relationship.

'I just meant are we officially all "couply" now.' She pressed needing reassurance.

His face relaxed again at her words.  Despite her insistence last night that this was not going to be just a one off, he had been worried that perhaps the wine he had plied her with had had more to do with her decision to sleep with him than she had realised.  Of course that had been pretty much what he had been aiming for – a romantic atmosphere courtesy of flickering lamplight and the crackle of an open fire and consumption of enough alcohol to lower her inhibitions.  He had intended to get her nicely mellow – not drunk he assured himself – and lull her into a false sense of security with the utter normality of the evening before making his move. However, as always, she had surprised him by taking matters into her own hands and had given him no chance to put into action his admittedly rusty seduction techniques.  Not that he was complaining; he was a practical man - the desired result had been achieved and this way he hadn't had to risk open rejection.  

Looking up into her anxious face, the most indescribable feeling of pleasure washed over him.  He had absolutely no doubt that he loved her.  He may not have experienced the emotion before, but he was intelligent enough to recognise it when he saw it.  He was also pragmatic enough not to waste energy railing against something that was beyond his control.  Thinking about it now, he realised he didn't know precisely when the desire he felt for her had turned into love, perhaps it never had; perhaps it had been love from the beginning.  In any event he neither knew nor really cared; there has been no panic-struck denials or terrified horror at the prospect, just such an easy acceptance of the fact that it had surprised even him.  That wasn't to say he was happy about it exactly, but he certainly had no desire to change how he felt, even though he easily could.  He was a powerful wizard after all, this… situation, could be erased with any number of emotion suppressing potions or spells, but the idea of removing the feelings she inspired within him seemed almost obscene. 

He had absolutely no intention of telling her though.  Ever.  

While he loved her, he was reluctant to hand over the last piece of control around her he had left – the knowledge of that love.  And for once it wasn't only his cautious nature that was holding him back either, it was more that he was afraid he would be trapping her with his words.  Her soft heart would demand that she not hurt him once she learned of his love and he could easily imagine her sacrificing her own happiness for his.  Not that she would see it like that of course, but the result would be the same – tied to him out of duty rather than love and he had been surprised to discover during the long night, that there was still a smidgeon of honour left him in that refused to allow that.  

Lois, he had long since realised, was an innately _good_ person and while he didn't know if the emotion burning in her eyes last night had been love, he suspected that she thought it might be.  He hadn't asked, and he didn't really want to know, but he guessed he was the first man she had been intimate with since her husband had died. Given her nature, it was a fair bet that she would have a hard time accepting the fact that she could sleep with someone she didn't love.  He was almost positive that she had convinced herself that what she felt for him was more than simple desire and he couldn't – _wouldn't_ - take advantage of that.  

In any case, with the passing of time this passion she felt for him would more than likely burn itself out and all that would remain, would be the odd friendship she had initially badgered him into.  When that day came he was determined not to be an object of pity to her, or worse still, be desperate enough to force her into continuing a relationship with him that she no longer wanted out of obligation. If he didn't condemn himself now with words he couldn't take back, when she eventually decided to move on, he could at least keep her in his life as a friend.

Of course, after all of his hard work and machinations over the last few months, he wasn't about to make it easy for her to escape him now that he finally had her.  If he was incredibly lucky, whatever it was that drew her to him might never disappear.  While he was aware appearance alone often had very little to do with attraction, the fact that she apparently desired him as much as he desired her perplexed him somewhat, but who was he to question the inexplicable nature of physical attraction?  He didn't know what it was she saw in him, but it was powerful enough to overcome her inhibitions - as last night had proved - and also gave him hope that their relationship might not be a short-lived one.  

'Yes we're a couple,' he said calmly seeing the relief flare in her eyes and held up a warning hand.  'But not overtly so.'

'Overtly.'  Lois said with distrust.  'What does _that_ mean?'

'Well, basically it means open, not hidden.'  He said purposely misunderstanding her question.

'I didn't mean the dictionary definition you sarcastic bugger!'  Lois growled.  'I might only know as much about magic as a first year, but I _am _an adult Severus not one of your students; I don't see what the problem is with anyone seeing us together, as long as we're not indiscreet in front of the children of course.'  She said her eyes flashing fire, daring him to disagree.

'The _problem_ is that I meant what I said yesterday Lois - I won't have your reputation harmed and the wizarding world is an old-fashioned one, a great deal more so that the muggle world.' He said firmly.

Lois grinned at his words, satisfied for the time being that he wasn't trying to deny their relationship.  'Will they think I'm a floozy?'  She asked with relish.

'Undoubtedly.'  He said sardonically, slightly annoyed at her refusal to take the matter seriously.

'Fine with me.'  She shrugged.  'I've never been a loose woman before.'  She said with pleasure, catching a glimpse of the bedside clock and leaping off the bed again.  'Look at the time.' She groaned. 'We're going to be late - is it okay if I jump in the shower first?' 

'Would you like some company?'  He asked levering himself up onto his elbows, his black eyes suddenly burning.

Staring at him Lois felt the fever that had overtaken her last night return full force and for a second couldn't remember for the life her why she had been rushing.  That was right – school!  

'I don't think it would be big enough.' She said finally, thoughts of the small shower cubicle managing to distract her long enough to form an intelligible answer, before she was captured once again by his heated gaze.

'I could make it bigger.'  He assured.

The words, "I bet you could" flashed unthinkingly through her mind and despite her very best efforts, she couldn't prevent the fit of giggles that overtook her at his inadvertent double entendre, which only worsened when he stared over at her, eyebrows raised under a perplexed frown.

Finally managing to drag themselves out of his chambers to make their way to breakfast some time later, they encountered a trio of Slytherin girls almost as soon as they left his room.  Luckily the sight of Lois in the dungeons was not an uncommon one and the only reaction she surprised, even given the earliness of the hour, was a look of haughty disdain from the two seventh years.  The last student was a first year who Lois had treated for a nosebleed up in the Infirmary the previous week.

'Hello Imogen.'  She smiled at the tiny red-headed girl.

'Morning Miss Scott.'  Imogen beamed back, her smile disappearing at the sharp nudge she received from one of the other girls – Pamela Dove, Snape recognised.  Luckily Lois had already walked on by this stage and missed her action, but Snape saw it and gave her a coldly warning glare from underneath harshly lowered brows.  Both of the seventh years paled at his angry look and hurried on towards their dormitory, not daring to look back.

***

'Good grief Poppy who's that?'  Lois gasped walking into the Infirmary later that afternoon to find herself looking at a completely naked, fully grown male lying on one of the beds, only a small sheet in place to preserve his modesty.

'Not who, what.'  Poppy said with a complacent smile.  'It's a medical training dummy - so you can start working on your empathic skills.'  She explained when Lois looked at her blankly.

'Where did you get it from?'  Lois asked in awe, watching the steady rise and fall of the smooth chest. 

'A friend of mine at St Mungo's lent it to us.  They're _very_ expensive, so there's no way the school board would have agreed the funding for one here.  We're really lucky Melvin was able to sneak this out for us.' She said with a pleased nod.

'Sneak?'  Lois asked suspiciously.  'Poppy no one's going to get into trouble for this are they?'

'No of course not.'  Poppy said with a dismissive wave.  'Worst comes to worst, Melvin will owl me and we can package it up and send it straight back - it'll be there practically before they've even noticed it's missing.'  Noting Lois's unconvinced look, the older woman rolled her eyes.  'It was either this Lois or you travelling up to St Mungo's and as it's so far, the only sensible solution would have been for you to be based there for a few months.  I didn't think that you'd want to do that.'  She smiled. 'But if you're really not happy I could always return it…?'

'No need!'  Lois said quickly.  'So you've managed to get your hands on a training dummy have you?' She asked brightly.

Poppy laughed softly.  'Yes I have - procured completely legitimately from an authorised supplier.'

'How does it work?'   Lois questioned interestedly.

'Well it has a fully functioning autonomic nervous system, which responds to stimuli in exactly the same fashion as a human would, but unlike a human it's completely unaware and incapable of experiencing pain.  That means you'll be able to try out your empathic powers _and_ work on healing some more serious conditions without worrying about making a mistake.'  She said giving the dummy's head an approving pat.  'But that isn't all it does; we can adjust pretty much everything about it to suit ourselves.'  Poppy enthused.  'If we open it up and want a clearer picture, we can change the colours of the internal organs or restrict the blood flow if it's obscuring the view, or even stop it altogether if we don't want to get our hands sticky.  A marvellous thing, just marvellous.' She said with a happy sigh.

'Would you and the dummy like some time alone Poppy?'  Lois teased amused, by the other woman's extreme pleasure in her new toy.

'I suppose I am getting a little carried away.' Poppy admitted with a slightly shamefaced smile.  'But I've _always _wanted one of these and you have to admit Lois, it's pretty amazing.'  She pressed.

Bending over Lois hesitantly reached out her hand to check the carotid pulse, which beat slow and steady under the warm skin.  

'Perfect down to the last detail.'  Poppy said with satisfaction.

While Poppy began the gruesome task of afflicting the dummy with injuries that couldn't be seen by the naked eye, Lois waited in the office so that she wouldn't have any clues as to what she was looking for.  Heading back into the main room at Poppy's shout, Lois first sat on a chair next to the bed and centred herself with the deep breathing techniques Remus had taught her.  When she was ready, she stood again and began running her hands palm down over the still form in front of her.  

'Poppy I can't feel _anything_.'  Lois said impatiently five minutes later.  'This isn't working.'

'Perhaps we need to make the damage more severe to start with.'  Poppy said meditatively.  'But that means you'll be able to _see_ what's wrong.'  She said tapping her wand thoughtfully against her thigh.  'Right there's nothing else for it, you'll have to wear a blindfold.'

Lois groaned but allowed the other woman to place cotton pads on her eyes and wrap a large bandage securely around her head.

'Can you see anything?'  Poppy shouted as though she had suddenly become deaf as well as blind.

'No, and I think that's probably a good thing.'  Lois grumbled imaging how she must look, hands held searchingly out in front of her and loose ends of bandages trailing behind her like a poor man's mummy from some cheap horror film.

'Okay then.'  The Matron said enthusiasm shining in her voice. 'Hang on a second.'

Poppy quickly mumbled a spell and Lois winced as the initial sickening sound of bones snapping, was immediately followed by the wet popping of the same bones presumably protruding through the skin. 

'Now don't lower your hands too much this time.'  Poppy warned in the same jolly tone.  'It's a bit… messy.'

'I can imagine.'  Lois grimaced, wishing she hadn't eaten such a large lunch.  

An hour later and all she had accomplished for her efforts was a raging headache, and a vague tingling sensation in her palms when she finally found the last, and most severe injury Poppy had spelled onto the dummy – its leg had been practically smashed into a bloody pulp Lois saw when she removed her blindfold.

'It's a start.'  The Matron had encouraged seeing her dispirited expression.  Lois nodded wearily, too spent to speak and gratefully accepted the pain potion the other woman handed her.  'I don't understand where we're going wrong though.'  Poppy continued thoughtfully, quickly repairing the dummy's damaged bones and pouring a thick, glutinous mixture onto the ruptured skin, which bubbled as it knitted itself back together.  'We must be missing something.'  She said replacing the stained sheets with a flick of her wand and drawing the curtains around the bed.   

'Perhaps I just don't have the ability.'  Lois said sitting on the edge of the opposite bed massaging her temples as the pain thankfully receded.

'Maybe.'  Poppy said slowly sounding unconvinced. 'But if that's the case how can you feel anything at all, even if it is only a tingling?'

'I don't know.'  Lois sighed morosely, her face immediately lighting up when the Infirmary door opened and Severus walked in.

'The potion you asked for Poppy.'  Snape said coolly handing over a large stone jar to the older woman, barely glancing at Lois as he did so.

'How very kind of you to bring it up yourself Severus.'  Poppy said with feigned innocence, turning to walk towards the store cupboard, her back to the two of them.  'And also unusual; don't you normally send one of the children?'

'Generally yes, but as I also wanted to see Lois it seemed foolish not to bring it with me.'  He said finally turning to face her, not batting an eyelid at the older woman's teasing. 'I have a free period if you would like to come down to my dungeon for an extra potions class?'  He asked his dark eyes gleaming.  

Lois leapt off the bed, tiredness instantly forgotten.  'Okay.'  She beamed her smile threatening to split her face in two.  'Just give me one minute to grab my stuff from my room.'  She said heading for the door, stopping briefly to reach up on tiptoe to kiss him as she passed. 

Avoiding Poppy's probing questions with ease, Snape gave Lois the one minute she had requested and a further two before impatience really kicked in and sent him striding from the Infirmary after her, breaking off practically in mid-conversation and heading out of the room, only finally remembering at the door to turn and say his goodbyes, much to Poppy's amusement. 

'Lois?'  He called, tapping on the chamber door.  When he received no response he pushed it slowly open, calling her name again as he walked in, instantly spotting her standing frozen in the middle of the room, a horrified expression on her face.  Forcing his eyes from her pale features he quickly scanned the room immediately seeing what held her rigid as he surveyed the wreckage surrounding her.  Cupboard drawers were open or upended on the ground, their contents strewn across the floor, ornaments and photographs were lying broken on shelves and through her half open bedroom door, he could see that the other room had undergone a similar fate.  

'What happened?'  He asked striding to her side.

'I don't know.'  She answered in a dazed voice.  'It was like this when I got here.'

'Was the door still locked?'  He asked quickly pulling his wand to check and finding it unbroken.  'Only very powerful dark magic could open a lock in any of the private quarters.'  He said his mind quickly working its way down a list of suspects who would be powerful enough, and stupid enough, to do this.  Truthfully it didn't make any sense, why would anyone make the effort to break in just to vandalise her room?  It seemed rather childish.

'I don't know if I locked it.'  Lois said softly, but he barely heard, already itching to find the perpetrator and punish them severely for this.  How dare anyone try to hurt Lois?  What if it had been more than vandalism they'd had in mind, he thought with a cold clutch of panic.

'It has to be one of the Professors,' he said out loud, his thoughts racing. 'None of the students could do this.'

'I said.'  She spoke loudly over his words. 'I don't know if I even locked it.'

'What?'  He exclaimed, finally hearing her and looking at her as though she were a simpleton.  'You didn't lock it?'

'I don't remember.'  She said quiet again. 'I… I don't sometimes.  Mostly I'm just down the corridor and I'm backwards and forwards all day.  Often I … don't.'  She trailed off looking around her room again.

'Of all the idiotic, trusting…' Snape stopped too incensed to continue.  'Lois this is a school filled with not - as you seem determined to believe - honest, innocent, basically good-natured children, but devious, malicious, trouble making hellions down to the very last one of them.'  He said in disgust, certain now with this new information that it was one of the children who was responsible for the damage.  'This was probably the work of a student in a hormone ridden rage over the object of her affection mooning over you.'  He said with distaste, not noticing her flinch at his words. 'How hard is it to lock a door?!'  He thundered suddenly.  'It takes a millisecond and you would have been spared this!'  He said with a sweeping gesture of his right arm, already deciding the punishment he would dish out for this outrage.  Whoever they were, even Slytherin, which was the most likely suspect he knew, they would rue they day they pulled this stunt.

Turning back to face her, he finally noticed the silent tears pooling in her eyes and spilling down her cheeks.  He cursed under his breath; he was not the right person to call to comfort wailing women he thought in near panic.  Even when he routinely discovered homesick, sobbing first years in the common room late at night, he woke Poppy to deal with them.  

'Lois.'  He said patting her shoulder awkwardly.  'Don't cry, I shouldn't have shouted at you - it's not _completely_ your fault.'  He said, managing to sound almost sincere.  'It doesn't matter anyway - we'll find the student responsible and I'll make sure they're punished.'  He said with grim relish.  

He was shocked when his efforts to console only resulted in her sobbing even harder, making little choking sounds now as she turned into his arms, burying her face in his robes.  He stood unsure for a second, before instincts he didn't even know he possessed kicked in and he wrapped his arms around her and began rubbing slow circles on her back in a soothing gesture.  

'Don't cry.'  He said again helplessly. 'I _will _find them.'

'That's not it.'  She said in a hiccupping voice. 'I don't _care_ about catching and punishing them, it's just… why would they do this?'  She wailed lifting her head slightly to stare tearily at him.  'What have I done to make them hate me so much?'  She questioned plaintively burying her head in his chest again.

He saw with dawning realisation that it wasn't the room that was upsetting her, or even his shouting, but the thought that she could have unknowingly driven one of the students to do this.

He pulled her away from him, holding her firmly by the shoulders as he stared into her eyes.  'Stop this.'  He said firmly.  'You of all people know how unstable teenagers can be.  I am positive this was done without a seconds planning when they came across your door ajar.'  He shook her slightly when she looked unconvinced. 'Like it or not Lois, you have a fair number of the boys at the school panting after you, and not because you've encouraged them, but because you are a passably attractive adult women and that is was adolescent males do.'  His words caused a quick flash of anger in her eyes and an affronted sniff, and his lips twitched in amusement, preferring to see her offended rather than crying.

'Now.'  He said, glad to see her tears were drying. 'Once you have calmed down you will realise you are not foolish enough to believe you can be blamed for this and crying over it will achieve nothing.'  She sniffed again and he smiled, a real smile this time as he took in her panda-like eyes and pink nose.  'Here.'  He said, handing her a handkerchief. 'Go and wash your face and I'll repair the damage.  Is anything missing?'  He said suddenly, feeling foolish for not having asked that before.  

She looked around the room, scrubbing at her eyes. 'I don't _think_ so.'  She said finally and Snape nodded, doubting even an enraged teenager would be stupid enough to take evidence of their crime.  'Go on then.' He said guiding her towards the bathroom.   'What's that doing there?'  He asked in surprise seeing Filch's cat curled up asleep on her laundry basket. 

'Sleeping by the looks of it.'  She replied facetiously.

'I can see that.'  He growled impatiently.  'I meant how did she get in?'

'Probably… Oh.'  She said in a hopeful voice.  'Do you think Filch might have done this?'

He shook his head in amazement, realising she would be happier knowing the caretaker had done this rather than any of the children.  'I'm sure not.'  He said honestly. 'Filch would never risk his position here by doing this, no matter how much he dislikes you.  I simply wondered how the cat got in.  Was the door actually open when you arrived?'

'No.' She said gloomily. 'Wouldn't matter anyway - there's a gap behind the fireplace wall, that's how Mrs Norris gets in and out.'

'She's here a lot?'  He asked surprised.

'Mostly in the day.  I think that's when Filch is busy with his caretaking duties and she seems to like my bathroom.' She said with an uninterested shrug.

He left her alone while he attended to the mess in the small sitting room and bedroom.  Several cleaning and repairing spells later and her chambers were back to their previous pristine condition and he sat down on one of the fireside chairs to wait for her.  A knock on the door interrupted almost immediately and he got up to answer it, not wanting to bother Lois.  Unfortunately her visitor was Potter, looking horrified to see him.

'Professor Snape.'  He said dismayed.  'Is Lois here?'  He asked a suspicious light dawning in his eyes as he tried to see around Snape's tall form.  

'She's busy Potter.'  Snape said icily. 'Shall I give her a message?'  He asked, having no intention of passing it on.

'It's okay Severus, I'm here now.'  Lois's voice said from behind him and he stepped away from the door to face her, pleased to see that although her eyes were still red rimmed, they no longer held the stunned look they had earlier.

'Hi Harry, come on in.' She managed not quite as cheerfully as normal.  'Did you want me for something?'  She asked with a smile.

'Yes, I just wondered if you wanted to come and watch Quidditch practice.'  He said slowly examining her closely.  'Lois are you alright?'  He asked suddenly with a quick accusing look at Snape.

'I'm fine.'  She assured him.  'Bumped my head leaving the Infirmary.'  She said in explanation.  'That's one of the many good things about being female, you can cry like a baby when you hurt yourself and no one thinks any the less of you.'  

Harry looked doubtful, but didn't press it.  'Okay.' He said.  'Well never mind about the Quidditch then.  You'll be at the game on Saturday though won't you?'

'Wouldn't miss it for the world.'  She assured him and saw him to the door, noticing the hard expression on his face as he looked quickly over at Snape before leaving.

'You realise he probably thinks I beat you now?'  Snape said idly as she shut the door, not really caring what Potter thought.

'Of course he doesn't.'  Lois said dismissively her mind obviously on other matters. 'Severus about all this… business.' She said indicating the now repaired room with a wave of her hand.  'I don't want you to tell the Headmaster.'  

'Why not?'  He demanded incredulously.  

'Because it probably was a spur of the moment thing like you said and hopefully it's burnt itself out now.'  

'And what if it hasn't?'  He asked impatiently.

'Then we can tell Professor Dumbledore if anything else happens.' She huffed.  'But I don't want to make a big deal of it and get it blown all out of proportion.  And I don't want you starting your own little witch-hunt Severus.'  She said sternly.

'I'm not promising that.'  He said in a hard voice.  'We won't tell Dumbledore yet if you insist, but I _will_ find who did this and they _will_ be punished.'

'All right.'  She accepted knowing he would go ahead with or without her approval.  'But no punishments until we discuss it first.  Okay?'  

'Fine.'  He agreed outwardly compliant, but having no intention of letting whoever had done this off with a warning, whatever she said.  While his mind was busily planning what to do next, he caught her looking up at him under her lashes.  'What is it?'  He demanded sharply when she continued eyeing him furtively, but still didn't speak.

'_Passably attractive_?' She asked with a vaguely sulky pout.  'I thought you said I was beautiful.'

'And I thought _you_ said you didn't need the words.'  He responded dryly.

'During times of stress women _always_ need the words.' She said with a wry smile.

'Ahh I see.'  He said in at tone which clearly showed he did nothing of the sort.  'So let me get this straight; when your eyes are red and puffy, your face is blotchy and your nose is pink, _that_ is the time I am required to wax lyrical?'  He asked with a disbelieving shake of his head.   

'I've said it before and I'll say it again – I just don't know how some lucky woman hasn't already snapped you up Severus.'  Lois murmured, softening the insult with a loving kiss.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**   This chapter is a bit shorter than normal, but that's because it was originally huge for some reason.  I thought it would be easier to read in two halves and being as the second half wasn't quite finished, I chopped it in two and just posted the first part.  I'm _hoping_ to get the rest of it out in the next couple of days.

Starlight and Blue Moon – Snape lying to Lois about Remus – yup that's going to come back and bite him on the bum (so to speak).  Serves him right too!

Gotsnape and Moonikens – I'm sorry, I'm sorry - no big bedroom scene because I don't want to change the rating, but there will be canoodling ahead if that's any consolation **:) **

Elspeth:  The wandless magic – yes it's because of one of the three things you asked (although that's not much help I suppose as one of the options was – "or is it something else" ^_~) and yes, it's gonna be super dooper important later.  I'm sure though that you'll all guess the ending long before I get there, which quite frankly I think would be almost a relief at this stage – at least I'll know then that the clues I've been dropping haven't been completely impenetrable.

Thanks everyone who reviewed and sorry this chapter took a while.  I do _try_ to update regularly purely because if I don't I know, magpie-like, I'll be distracted by something shiny and wander off and never finish, but I caught some bug and just wasn't up to sitting at the computer for any length of time.  Oh well, all better now!


	20. The Trouble with Harry

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

'Lois wait!'

Lois halted her descent down the staircase towards her Transfiguration tuition with Minerva and looked up to see Elena Roupe striding along the corridor above her, her wand out guiding a stretcher floating at her side.  Lois spun round and made her way back up the stairs hurrying towards Elena who was waiting for her at the top.  

'Harry!'  Lois exclaimed, on reaching the stretcher and recognising his pale unconscious form.  'What happened?'  She asked Elena, quickly pulling her wand from her sleeve and running it over Harry's still body to find the cause of his condition.

'We were in the middle of class, Potter here was helping me demonstrate how to best deflect a curse – regrettably he was not as quick as I imagined he would be.' She said in a vaguely surprised tone.

By now Lois's quick examination had ascertained that a huge bump to the back of Harry's head seemed to be his only injury and she turned him gently to examine it closer.  'He could have been killed!'  She said in horror seeing the size of the gash, the already drying blood congealing messily in his hair.

'I know!'  Elena said with a hearty laugh as Lois urged her into motion towards the Infirmary, the other woman's longer stride meaning she had to practically trot to keep up with her.  'I tell you, for a minute I really thought he was!'  She continued in her harsh guttural accent.  She sighed when she saw the incredulous stare Lois directed at her on hearing her unfeeling words.  'Don't look so accusing Lois, I _had _cushioning charms set up.   Unfortunately when the curse hit him, Potter bounced higher than I had anticipated.  The boy has no meat on his bones,' she said with disgust.  'Little bugger practically hit the ceiling.  You're the school nurse.'  She said suddenly with a reproving look at a still gaping Lois.  'Can't you see about feeding him up a bit?'  

Lois didn't respond, somewhat taken aback at how the blame for Roupe cursing Harry into unconsciousness could be laid at her feet.  Luckily at that point they arrived at the Infirmary doors and Lois made to move ahead of the other woman to hold them open.  Not noticing, Elena began lowering her wand, breaking the connection with the stretcher, which shuddered dangerously in mid-air. 

'Can I leave him with you from here then?'  Elena asked breezily and Lois, finally realising what she intended, whipped out her wand with a startled squeak, only just managing to spit out the correct spell before Harry plummeted onto the hard stone floor.

'Elena!  I've only just learnt how to even _do_ that!'  She rebuked sharply her heart thumping wildly at the near miss.  

'Sorry Lois.'  The other woman apologised, already walking away.  'I forget sometimes you are still in training, which is a compliment if you think about it!'  She assured with a wide grin.  'Well enough of this chattering - I really must go.  I left Patil and Brown attempting to hex Longbottom, so I may well be back in a minute!'  She laughed again and headed back the way she had come, leaving a still breathless Lois to back awkwardly into the Infirmary, shouting for Poppy as she went.

An hour and one cancelled Transfiguration lesson later, Harry was conscious and ready to return to classes.  Lois took the Pain Potion Poppy had measured out for him and carried it over to the young boy, who was sitting on a chair by the side of one of the beds.

'Is that for me?'  He asked with a weak smile when she reached him, his eyes still shadowed slightly with pain.

'It is, drink it all up.'  She instructed and watched him as he did so.  'You know Harry,' she teased as he stood and handed the glass back to her. 'If you want us to spend more time together, you only have to say; there's really no need to go to these lengths.'

He laughed at her words, before giving a soft groan as his still tender head protested.  He sank down onto the edge of the bed and looked up at her, his expression amused.  'Bit extreme do you think?'  He grinned.

'When it gets to the concussion stage, I'm going to have to say yes.'  Lois smiled back at him, glad to see his pallor had receded from his first arrival.  'How are you really feeling now?' She asked with concern, serious once more.

'Okay.  My head still hurts, but that's starting to go.  How are you?'  He asked quickly an intent gleam in his green eyes.

'Me?  I'm fine.'  Lois replied surprised.  'Why?'

'Because of in your room yesterday?'  He reminded and Lois shook her head annoyed with herself for being so dim.  'You seemed upset.'  He probed carefully.

'It was nothing.'  She said with a wave of her hand.  'I told you - just a bump, I was right as rain ten minutes later.'

Harry stared at her obviously unconvinced, a troubled expression on his face.  'If Snape - Professor Snape,' he amended quickly when he saw she was about to object.  'Upset you or…'

'No, no Harry honestly it wasn't anything like that!'  She hastened to reassure him, realising Severus had been right about the interpretation Harry would put on his presence in her room when she had so obviously been crying. 'I promise, it didn't have anything to do with him.'  She said staring into his eyes trying to convince him with a look.  Unfortunately the suspicious gleam remained and he seemed to be struggling to come to a decision.

'Lois I've been worried about you spending so much time with him for a while,' he began carefully not quite meeting her eyes. 'There are some things you don't know about him and…'

From the pained expression on his face, Lois suddenly knew Harry was about to tell her about Severus's past, although he clearly wasn't happy about it, probably more because he didn't want to upset her than any concern for Snape.  She hadn't realised he knew but she supposed she should have done, if anyone had a connection to Voldemort and his Death Eaters it would be Harry.

'It's okay.'  She said quickly holding out a hand and sitting next to him on the bed.  'I know all about his past.  _Everything_.'  She insisted when he looked at her doubtfully.

'You do?'

'I do and we're still friends.'  She said hesitating for a fraction of a second over the last word, but luckily Harry didn't seem to pick up on it.  

'So if you know, how come you're still friends with him?'  He asked his tone bewildered.

Lois sighed heavily. She wasn't about to go into this with a fifteen year old, especially considering wizard children seemed more innocent than their muggle counterparts.  In truth she didn't think it was so much that Harry saw things of this nature in black and white; he was very adult in his outlook for his years.  But when it came to Snape, Lois suspected his dislike and distrust blinded him to any shades of grey.  However, she only said simply. 'For the same reason I'm friends with you; because I can't _not_ be now.'  His face remained doubtful and the gaze he turned upon her was vaguely reproachful  

Lois sighed again and bent closer towards him.  'Don't ask me to choose between you Harry, because I can't – you both mean too much to me.'  She said gravely her eyes sad.  

'I won't.'  He promised quickly.  'It's just that I don't want anything to happen to you.'

Lois looked at him seeing the slight frown pleating his forehead, his thin features tense.  'Harry I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think you should take a leaf out of Fred and George's book and stop fretting about things – everything will be fine.  And if it isn't,' she continued over his snort of disbelief.  'Then all the panicking in the world isn't going to make a blind bit of difference, so you might as well just stop worrying.'  She ordered firmly, a smile in her voice.

'Hah, you wouldn't say that if you'd seen them lately,' Harry muttered.  'They've been and got tons of books out of the library and they're up till all hours reading them and casting spells on each other.  Neville said he heard them telling Lee Jordan that they're under surveillance.'  He said with a puzzled shrug. 'But Ron reckons it's just the pressure of N.E.W.T.s finally getting to them.'

Lois nodded guiltily and didn't comment.

'And anyway,' Harry continued dropping his eyes from hers and shooting her a sidelong glance from under dark lashes.  'I only worry so much when it's about people I care about it.'  He mumbled splotches of red appearing on his cheeks.

Lois's heart melted.  'I love you too kiddo.'  She assured sincerely pulling him into a quick hug and releasing him before he had chance to grow embarrassed.  'Now, enough of this malingering and back to class before Professor McGonagall is forced to come track you down.'  She mock scolded, shooing him on his way.

As he reached the Infirmary door Harry turned back to wave a quick goodbye, a pleased grin on his face, his eyes bright and unshadowed.  Lois watched him go with a tired smile, raising a hand to rub thoughtfully at her aching head.

***

Despite her assurances Harry was still worrying about Lois by the following days Potions Class, his mind whirring furiously as he distractedly copied down the instructions for the Cynosure Syrup they were going to be brewing.   When Snape ordered them to find a partner and come to the front of the class to collect the potion ingredients, Harry immediately rushed to pair up with Hermione.  Ron shot him a strange look at his odd behaviour, but uncomplainingly partnered Neville sitting a few seats down from them.  

'Is everything all right Harry?'  Hermione questioned barely moving her lips as she began measuring out the peacock feather essence.

Chatting in Potions was always incredibly risky.  Snape had ears like a bat (to match the rest of him), but Harry desperately wanted to discuss what he had seen in Lois's room with Hermione and it was very difficult to get her alone.  He didn't want to talk about it with Ron, firstly because all conversations regarding Lois generally resulted in a dreamy smile and very little sense and secondly, because after the embarrassing hugging incident following the botched Deep Emotion Potion, anything Ron considered even vaguely "mushy" was strictly off limits.  Harry guessed Lois and Snape's relationship fell firmly under that category.

'No, I wanted to talk to you.'  He confided softly.  'I'm worried about Lois; I went to her room yesterday to see if she wanted to come and watch practice,' he broke of quickly as Snape swept past, a suspicious look on his face as he watched the two of them attempting to appear innocent as they shredded Luminescent leaves.  Hermione nodded for Harry to continue once he'd gone.  'But Snape was in her room and wouldn't let me in, then Lois came just as he was about to shut the door on me.  She looked like she'd been crying.  I think he'd done something to her.'  He pressed when Hermione just stared at him blankly.

'What do you mean "done something to her?"  She questioned confused.

'I'm not sure exactly, but…. You said he liked her first remember?'

'Yes, so?'

'Well maybe he told her yesterday and _she_ said she didn't like him back and maybe he… I don't know, got angry.  He seemed pretty mad.'

Hermione glanced over at Snape.  He looked the same as always, a harsh scowl on his thin face, black robes billowing dramatically behind him as he strode around the classroom insulting the Gryffindors and praising the Slytherins, a permanent sneer seemingly etched on his cruel lips.  

'Harry I know Snape's horrible, but I don't think he'd do anything to actually _hurt_ Lois and even if he would, I'm sure she wouldn't just let him get away with it.'  She pointed out reasonably.  'Did you ask her _why_ she was crying?'

'She said she bumped her head in the Infirmary.'

'That's probably what happened then.'  Hermione shrugged, pulling her pestle and mortar towards her to begin crushing the cricket legs.

'No she was lying I could tell.'  He muttered frustratedly.  'Snape's such a git Hermione – I can't understand why she would have anything to do with him unless he was making her.' He said in a dark tone. 'Perhaps he's blackmailing her or, or… maybe he's got her under the Imperius curse or something!'  He said quickly, before shaking his head in disgust, aware how ridiculous that was - Lois had shown time and time again that she somehow actually _liked_ being around Snape. 

Hermione looked sharply over at him at his words, her expression worried.  'Harry you don't think you might just be a little… jealous do you?'  She questioned carefully looking surreptitiously behind her for Snape, who was luckily busily in the process of taking points off Parvati and Lavender for giggling when their thrix root kept wriggling out of the way as they tried to cut it. 

'It's not that.'  He assured her earnestly knowing what she meant and not offended. 'I honestly wouldn't mind if it was _anyone_ else, even Hagrid.'  He said before stopping to consider that possibility, a little shudder overtaking both him and Hermione at the same time.  'Maybe not Hagrid.'  He admitted and she nodded in firm agreement.  

'Well I don't know what to say Harry.'  She said thoughtfully, her clever mind busily processing the options.  'Perhaps… I know I said it wasn't a good idea before, but maybe you could talk to her, tell her what you've found out about him.'

'I tried that up in the Infirmary after Roupe cursed me.'  Harry said rubbing his head absently in memory.  'I think he must've already told her everything.'  He whispered quieter than ever. 'And she doesn't even seem to _mind_.'  He said his tone bewildered.

'That's it then.'  The young girl said with finality. 'There's nothing else you can do and I didn't really think it would have worked anyway.  I know you don't like it Harry,' Hermione continued diffidently. 'But actually seeing them together lately…I think Lois and Professor Snape might already be in love.'

'Love!'  He yelped far louder than he had intended. 

'Detention Mr Potter.'  Snape said silkily, gliding over to their desk. 'And I would appreciate it if you would restrict your romantic outbursts to Miss Granger to your own time and not mine.'  He mocked, not taking any points off the Slytherin girls when they giggled nastily at his words.

Harry bit back a groan of annoyance, but was unable to prevent the groan that escaped him when he caught Ron's accusing glare centred on him and a furiously blushing Hermione.

'Time's up.'  Snape finally declared thirty minutes later, his attention barely shifting from the parchment he was writing on.  'Leave your labelled potions on your desks for marking and you may go.  Potter - stay behind to arrange your detention.'

Harry heaved a deep sigh but for once he wasn't too disappointed that Snape never missed a trick, no matter how preoccupied he appeared.  Ron still looked annoyed and he was quite happy to give him a bit more time to calm down.  'Don't bother to wait.' He muttered to Hermione.  'I'll see you in Herbology.' Gathering his belongings together he walked reluctantly towards the high desk at the front of the class, his hatred for dark haired Professor seeming to grow with every step towards him he took. Once he got there, Snape completely ignored him for a full minute and impatience getting the better of him, Harry dropped his heavy cauldron down on the stone floor, the noise loud in the silent room.

'Ah Mr Potter,' Snape said looking up finally as though he had no idea Harry had been waiting.  'Your detention.  Let me see now, interrupting my class - yet again.' He said tapping the end of his quill against the desk contemplatively. 'I think waxing the floor in the Great Hall – without magic – might suffice.  Report to Filch at seven o'clock, I will inform him of your punishment.' 

'I haven't got detention with you?'  Harry blurted out before he could stop himself.

'How very astute of you Potter; the Gryffindor intellect working at full power is a truly dazzling sight to behold.' He derided  

Harry felt himself steaming with anger; both at Snape's sarcasm and the sudden certainty that the reason Filch was taking his detention was because Snape would be with Lois.  His chat with her yesterday had succeeded only in making him all the more determined to find out – what was it they called it on those old films Aunt Petunia used to watch on Sunday afternoons?  _Oh yes_ - what Snape's _intentions _towards her were, he remembered with satisfaction.  However, tackling Snape on even the most innocuous of subjects was extremely dangerous, for something such as this he would be lucky to come out of it still retaining human form.  He must be mad to even consider it he realised suddenly, before the memory of how he'd felt when Lois had told him she loved him swept over him and his resolve hardened once more.

'Well?'  Snape barked impatiently a second later when Harry didn't immediately scurry from the room.

'Actually Professor I wanted to ask if I could talk to you.'  He said as confidently as he could, which wasn't very. 'But not as a student.'

'Talk?   What the…?  Oh good grief!'  Snape suddenly exploded.  'Have you been drinking your potion without permission you halfwitted idiot?!'  He snarled angrily, his black eyes shooting over to examine the amount of liquid left in the beaker on Harry's desk.

'Of course I haven't!'  Harry said equally annoyed, but trying to remain calm.  'I really do want to discuss something with you, but it isn't related to school and I thought…' 

Mocking disbelief flooded Snape's cold features as he interrupted Harry's stumbling explanation with a contemptuous snort.  'Merlin preserve me - you cannot possibly mean a "man to man" chat can you Potter?'  He disparaged, an utterly disgusted look on his face.

'Yes that is what I meant as a matter of fact.'  Harry declared mulishly, stung by his tone.  

Snape simply looked at him for what seemed like an incredibly long time and Harry had to work very hard not to shudder under his icy black gaze.  Finally he blinked releasing Harry from his stare and made another huffing sound of impatience.  'Very well.  Let's hear it then Mr Potter.'  Snape said coldly sarcastic.  'I suppose as I've already been made well aware of the faculty's stance on the situation, I might as well hear out what the student body delegation has to say on the matter, for completeness if nothing else.'  He sneered his face twisted sourly. 

'Excuse me?'

'I assume this sudden desire to "talk" means you have some opinion you wish to state regarding my relationship with Miss Scott?'  Snape asked in the same slow tone one would use to humour an idiot.

'Relationship?'  Harry enquired sickly, his worst fears confirmed.  Oh god, were they actually _doing it?_  Obligingly his mind refused to allow entrance to any nightmare inducing mental images to accompany that thought and he was able - just barely - to refocus on Snape's words without losing his lunch.   

'That is correct, perhaps if your hearing is causing you problems a trip to the Infirmary is in order…?'

'My hearing's fine.'  Harry managed through clenched teeth unable to meet Snape's cruelly amused stare.  'But you're right - that is what I wanted to talk to you about.' He struggled on, his words halting and awkward.  'I wanted to say that I think it would be better for Lois if you and she weren't … friends.'

'Indeed.'  Snape said indifferently, tapping the feather end of his quill rhythmically against the desk. 'And do you also think she is so lacking in intelligence that she needs a fifteen year old to make her decisions for her?'

'No, but Lois doesn't really know anything about wizards or magic or who she can trust.'  Harry said his face tight.  'She needs someone to look out for her until she does know.'

'I see and you believe your _aeons_ of experience in the wizarding world makes you a suitable candidate?  Really Potter the extent of your arrogance astounds even me at times, although having known your father I suppose it shouldn't.'  He said cruelly pleased when he saw Harry's hands clench tight in anger.  'Nevertheless, your half-baked opinions aside, _I_ am quite certain she does not need you chipping in your two sickles worth and frankly even if she did, what on earth would make you think you have the right to interfere in her personal life in any event?'  He asked silkily.

Harry was breathing heavily by now, his anger with the situation and Snape quickly spiralling out of control.  'Because I found her!'  He exclaimed wrathfully, unable to think of a better argument over the fury rising within him.  

'She was not a lost sock Potter.'  Snape said curtly.

'Yes but… well she was, wasn't she really?  I mean Lois _was_ lost and if I hadn't had my accident, she would never have come here!'

'So what are you saying boy, that because of that you now _own_ her?' Snape demanded contemptuously. 

'No!  It's just… Lois means a lot to me.'  Harry said his anger subsiding briefly into sincerity.  'I don't want her to be hurt.'  

'While your concern is… _touching_.'  Snape mocked maliciously.  'It is also misplaced; she is not your mother boy, nor in fact any relation to you at all.  You have absolutely no claim on her.'  He said with great satisfaction.

'I _know_ that!  But she means more to me than just… She's like, like….' He stopped there, searching desperately for the words to explain how he felt and was incensed when he was unable to find them under Snape's basilisk-like stare.  'Oh it doesn't matter.'  He muttered finally, defeat crashing heavily down onto him as he realised all he had accomplished for his efforts was to provide amusement for Snape.  'You'll do what you want anyway.'  He finished bitterly.

Humiliation rising, Harry bent down to retrieve his belongings under Snape's cold and impassive regard. Standing from his stooped position he chanced another quick look at Snape to find him watching him still.  His face burning with shame, he was just about to turn away when the Potions master blinked once and when he opened his eyes, Harry was astonished to see a new expression there.  Only someone who had spent as many years staring into his loathing-filled, black eyes as Harry had, would have even noticed the change.  Slight though it was, there was a definite warmth and a general softening of his whole demeanour.  With another blink of his eyes however, it was gone and his voice when he spoke was as emotionless as ever. 

'If indeed you _did_ find her, then I suppose that I am in your debt Mr Potter.'  He said slowly and precisely.  'And since I do not enjoy being forced into such an odious position, I will address your concerns on the understanding that after which, all debts between us will be repaid in full:  My relationship with Miss Scott, Potter, is none of your business and I have absolutely no intention of discussing it with you in any way, shape or form.  However, what I _can_ assure you of with the utmost certainty - and it had better suffice because it is all you are going to get - is that she will come to no harm from me.  Now.'  He practically snarled, his expression more evil than Harry had _ever_ seen it. 'Get out of my sight and if I have to listen to even one more _word _from you on the subject, or from any of your cretinous hangers-on, I will make you regret that you ever heard the name Hogwarts.'   

While not sure yet whether to consider this a victory or a defeat, Harry was smart enough to realise that their talk had gone far better than he could realistically have hoped for and hardly daring to believe his luck, he hoisted his cauldron more securely in his hands and dashed for the door not risking saying another thing.

'Oh and Potter.'  Snape said silkily just before the door closed behind him.

'Yes Professor?'  Harry asked his feelings towards the cold Potions master oddly ambiguous for probably the first time ever.

'You appear to be late for your next class – ten points from Gryffindor.' He said evenly, an unholy gleam clearly visible in his black eyes as he turned dismissively back to his work.

***

Lois banged on Snape's door with her left elbow, her hands too full to try the handle. When the door swung open and he appeared in front of her, she pushed quickly past him dropping the heavy bags she had been holding onto the floor.

'Have you carried those?'  He asked, his eyebrows shooting up impatiently when she nodded agreement. 'Why didn't you use magic to bring them down?'  He questioned disbelievingly.

'Fillius only taught me how to lift one thing; I was having trouble balancing two – they kept going wonky.  Thought this would be safer.'  Lois admitted, slightly out of breath.

'What's in there anyway?'  He asked as she let out a puff of air blowing her hair away from her hot face.

'Just a few things so that I don't have to keep dashing up to my room before anyone spots me first thing in a morning.'

Snape eyed the bulky holdalls on the floor warily.  'A few things?'  

'There isn't much really.'  She assured him.  'Just some toiletries and clothes and books - that kind of stuff.' 

'I see.' He said without expression.

'You don't mind do you?'  Lois asked hesitantly, suddenly realising she might have been presuming a little too much turning up like this, looking as though she was angling to move in.  She quickly pushed her doubts determinedly aside; while she was prepared to give him time to get used to their new relationship, she wasn't prepared to give him space. 

'No.' He said calmly walking towards the sofa and pulling her with him, settling her close by his side as they sat.

'Well you don't exactly sound thrilled about it.'  Lois grumbled good naturedly, dropping her head down onto his chest to listen to the comforting sound of his heartbeat, which speeded noticeably when she ran her fingers tormentingly up and down the sleekly defined muscles she found there. 'Hearing you talk anyone would think you weren't happy to have me as a girlfriend.'  She said with a sly upwards glance.

'That is where you are wrong.'  He insisted, the soft emotions she inevitably evoked bringing his instinctive sarcastic nature to the fore.  'I consider this development very fortuitous indeed.  It's always such a bind when I receive an invitation to a Dark Revel with the dread phrase "and partner".  Now that I am involved in a relationship, I no longer need to worry about facing the scorn of the Dark Lord's finest for failing to produce a companion.'

'Stop being an ass Severus.'  Lois said without heat pinching his arm through his robes, 'and don't call him that either!' She said more sharply with a pinch to match.

'Careful!'  He growled absently rubbing his upper arm.  'And don't call who what?'

'The Dark Lord.'  She said affecting a spooky, echoing voice.  'It makes him sound like he owns you or something.  Lord.'  She said with a disparaging snort.  'Who the hell made that poor excuse for a human a Lord anyway?'  She grumbled.

'No one.'  Snape managed to answer distracted by her exploring fingers, which had returned to their previous task. 'His actual name is Tom Marvolo Riddle.  He just rearranged the letters to make I Am Lord Voldemort.'  He explained uninterestedly.

'Riddle?  His name's Tommy Riddle and you all just _agreed_ to start calling him Lord Voldemort?'  She asked astonished.

Snape shook his head, having trouble concentrating on her questions while trying to locate the fastenings on her muggle clothing. 'Well for the main most people forgot he ever _was_ Tom Riddle and in any event, you don't call a madman of his stature by any other name than that which he has chosen.'

'You see that's half the problem with you wizards.  You've built this psychopath up into some kind of unconquerable god.' Lois said in disgust, her fingers ceasing their movements.

Her words had a similar effect on Snape, who was diverted enough from his own efforts to lift his head and focus on her fully.   'Lois, you don't understand how powerful he is, how powerful his followers are. You're not far wrong when you call him unconquerable; if it wasn't for Lily Potter's sacrifice, I think it highly likely he would have won the war. And I am not the only person to believe that, whether they admit it or not.  Is it any wonder people are so afraid of him?'

'No, but I think using his real name would help.'

'It's easy knowing what you should do.'  Snape said in a hard voice. 'But never quite as easy doing it.'

'I know.'  Lois apologised with a sigh.  'And I didn't mean to sound flippant, I just hate the idea of you having to pretend to be loyal to him.'

'Unsurprisingly I don't particularly enjoy it myself, but there isn't a lot of choice in the matter; I can hardly spy on him if he doesn't trust me.'

'That's another thing I _really_ hate - spying on him?  It's insane!' She blurted out unable to help herself.

'I had no idea you felt like that.'  He said sarcastically. 'Would you like me to give it up?'

'Yes actually I would!'

Snape was silenced for a second.  He honestly hadn't expected that answer.   'Well I can't, as you very well know.'  He almost snarled, the discussion reminding him unpleasantly of how precarious his position was, not something he generally preferred to dwell on.  'There is a great deal riding on the information I may be able to provide.' 

'So why did you ask!'  Lois yelled in frustration, pulling away from him and sitting at the other end of the sofa, her legs tucked underneath her, an annoyed expression on her face.

'Because I thought you'd say no.' He admitted truthfully.  It had been a good many years since anyone had put his welfare before the common good, in fact _had_ anyone ever put his needs first, in _anything_?   

'Why on earth would I say no?'  Lois asked raising her hands in bewilderment.  'Of _course_ I don't want you to risk your life and Severus, I honestly _do_ have serious reservations about all of this, quite apart from the fact I don't want you anywhere near him.  If _I_ was Voldermort, Iwouldn't trust you after what happened.  Can't someone else be a spy, someone less likely to be suspected?'

'I owe…'

'You don't owe!  You've _paid_ your debt.'  She spoke over his words, crawling back towards him and grabbing hold of his hands.  'There must be other ways.  Better ways.  Won't the muggle authorities help?'  She asked suddenly.  'It seems like there's far more of us than there is of you lot.'

'Ah yes, the terrifying prospect of swarms of muggle policemen brandishing their little wooden sticks…'

'Truncheons actually and I don't think they're even _made_ of wood anymore.' Lois informed him snippily dropping his hands, but he continued on as if she hadn't spoken.

'…I can just see it now.  I'm sure the Dark Lord – fine!  _Voldemort_.' He bit out at her censurous gaze. 'Will be shaking in his boots.'

'Oh very clever Severus.'  Lois derided with a scowl, before pressing on undeterred.  'I wasn't _talking_ about the police anyway, I was thinking of military intervention - I mean he's only one man; couldn't the army just blow him up or something?'

'Muggles and muggle weaponry couldn't hope to destroy a wizard as strong as he is, the _only_ thing that will defeat him is magic more powerful than his own. And not only that, Voldemort despises muggles, if they became involved in the war he might focus his attention on them and the results would be catastrophic.  In any event, they don't even know of his return. Fudge refuses to acknowledge the possibility and has therefore made no attempt to forewarn them.'  He said heavily.

'Fine, no muggles.'  Lois accepted disappointedly.  'But I still say that you returning to spy on him is needlessly reckless; you'll just get yourself killed Severus and what will _that_ accomplish?'

'Reparation for my sins?'  He suggested bitterly. 

'Rubbish!'  She snorted. 'Death doesn't equal redemption, it's just an easy way out and if you're imagining it's the ultimate "_I'm sorry_" then you're a fool!' 

'Actually I don't.'  He said coldly.  'I'm doing this because it's necessary and because I am in a position to do so.  I have no intention however, of sacrificing myself in a pathetic bid for absolution.'  

'Good.'  Lois said simply, closing her eyes briefly in relief, mightily reassured by the disgust in his tone.  She had been genuinely afraid that his guilt over his past meant he subconsciously believed he deserved to die.  She could cope with what he did as long as all the danger came from external sources; no one could hope to survive the sort of risks he took carrying around a death wish.  'Because if you'd have been planning to make a martyr out of yourself, I for one wouldn't have been very impressed.'  She finished coolly, not wanting him to see how foolishly scared she had been.  

'You're being very blasé about the possibility all of a sudden.'  Snape said smarting slightly.   _Shouldn't she be all teary-eyed at the prospect?_

'I'm not being blasé; I'm just very glad to hear you agree with me.  After all, there are plenty of things worse than death Severus.'  Lois said wanting to drive her point home.    

'Are there indeed?' He asked in a patronising tone, still vaguely miffed. 'For example?'

'Having to watch someone you love die.'  Lois said mildly.  'Being left behind without them.'

Looking into her calm face, Snape repressed a shudder with more difficulty than he liked as he felt an icy trickle of foreboding run down his spine.  'So in your opinion dying is the easy option is it?'  He mocked in an effort to shake off his odd mood.  'Are you telling me you _wouldn't_ be afraid if Voldemort was standing here right now?'

'No, I'd be on the floor in a puddle of fear calling him "Your Highness."' Lois admitted without shame. 'And I never said _dying _was easy, especially where Voldemort is concerned I'm guessing.  I said death was easy - you know when you actually cease to exist and float off to wherever.  You're not going to be worrying about much right then.'  She finished in a matter-of-fact tone.  The turn the conversation had taken had reminded her, yet again, just how brief a time on earth everyone really had.  She didn't want to waste a second of it in pointless argument.  Severus _would _continue spying, regardless of the risks, and she either had to accept that or drive herself crazy worrying about it.   

'I'd protect you.'  He said suddenly, his voice deadly serious.  'From Voldemort I mean if he _were _standing here right now.  I feign allegiance to him because I'm required to, but there is absolutely none left within me.  Whatever there was died a long time ago.'    

'I know that Severus.'  Lois assured him, surprised by his vehemence.  'You don't need to convince me.'  

'There are those that will always doubt me, I just wanted to make sure you understood that you don't have to - that I'd do everything I could to keep you safe.'  He said intently.

'Oh so _you_ wouldn't be afraid?'  Lois taunted, hoping annoyance with her would lift the air of hopelessness that seemed to have descended on him as he spoke. 

'Don't be an idiot Lois.'  He snapped disparagingly, his face thankfully reverting to its normal irritable expression.  'Of course I'd be afraid.'

'Ah but in true hero fashion you'd protect me anyway.'  Lois chided him gently.  'Tell me, would  "To the death" be too strong a term to use?'  

'No that would be spot on.'  He said ruefully, his tense shoulders relaxing slightly as he let out a deep sigh.  'I don't expect my grand gesture would be worth much against him in any event.  We would _both _probably be dead within seconds.'  

'Yeah.'  She smiled unworried.  'But we'd be up in heaven, swinging on a cloud and he'd be down here, snake faced and still called Tommy Riddle.'

He nodded a slight smile on his lips, but his heart clenched painfully in his chest.  She would be up in heaven he had no doubt, surrounded by her husband and family.  He… he would be somewhere else entirely, condemned to an eternity gazing skyward with longing.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N **  Jelsemium – Chapter 18 had a title it was just on temporary hiatus.  Someone had problems accessing certain chapters because of her parental controls and the last time it didn't work it was the title that was causing the problem, hence the blank.  It's back now **:)**  As for whether Lois knows about Harry and Voldemort – yes she does and darn it, I never even thought of Peeves being a possible suspect for the trashed room!  Let's pretend I _had_ and that there was an incredibly plausible reason why they both immediately knew it wasn't him :)

Gotsnape – I'm not promising, but I might try and post it as a separate fic, as a couple of people have suggested, so I don't have to up the rating - leave it with me :)

Gaby – Gosh you have been paying attention – how nice!  There will be resolution to the empathic abilities and I haven't forgotten about the nightmare, but Lois never realised it was Harry's dream (and probably never will) so _she_ isn't trying to figure it out and no one else knows about it.  There is a reason for it though, which will be explained.  Hmm and you're right, the story _isn't_ an action packed thriller with Voldie and Unforgivables and whatnot – I'm sorry; the direction does change a little towards the end, (which won't be long, thank god) but I don't know whether it can be considered "action" as such… Oh well, in summary - sorry!

Elspeth – You can put the puppy dog eyes away – you're right Sirius will be coming to visit his godson. ^_~  

QE Too – In answer to your question a git is: "An idiot or contemptible person. Although more commonly used, it is derived from the word 'get.'"  That definition came from www.peevish.co.uk/slang/, which is a dictionary of English slang and colloquialisms – should you ever need one.  While I'm English myself, it's tricky to know what terms aren't common outside the UK and not only that, sometimes I don't even really _know_ precisely what they mean, for example, I use the word git fairly often, but I still had to look it up to give you an answer :)****

Trisana – I don't know - I hadn't thought about that!  I suppose I'd better decide!  And thank you all for the reviews.  You honestly wouldn't believe how much I appreciate them. 


	21. Three Little Words

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Snape sat in his empty dungeon classroom attempting to mark pitiful fourth year homework essays.  The work however, was of such a poor standard that it required barely any attention and his mind had turned, as it so often did lately, to the puzzle of who was responsible for Lois's wrecked room.  He had initially been utterly certain that he would have the culprit apprehended within days, but almost two weeks later and he didn't have even a single suspect.  

Calvin Spinks, a seventh year Slytherin prefect, had been assigned the task of making discreet enquiries within his House.  Snape was well aware that there were times when not questioning students directly could be beneficial and Spinks he knew, would be able to get the information far easier than he would himself.  Luckily he also knew he could trust the seventh year with the delicate chore.  For a Slytherin, Spinks had an unusually strong streak of decency running through him, so much in fact Snape had initially wondered how he had been sorted into Slytherin at all.  The answer though had soon become apparent; Spinks had a burning ambition to succeed and was prepared - within limits - to do whatever was necessary to see that he did.  He was therefore one of the few Slytherins who was well regarded by all of the Houses, including his own.  

Unfortunately Spinks had turned up nothing, which meant either that the perpetrator had managed to stop themselves from bragging about their crime (which frankly pretty much ruled out anyone in Slytherin) or that they were from another House entirely.  Annoyingly that meant for the moment Snape was back to square one.  Spinks, who was almost as frustrated as Snape in failing his mission, was now attempting to ferret out information from the other Houses, but that would obviously be a much slower process.  

Growing impatient Snape had even considered for an insane second asking Potter if he knew anything.  Heaven knew the boy seemed to have a knack for sticking his nose where it didn't belong.  Thankfully he had come to his senses before he had made a fool of himself.  If Potter _did_ know anything, he would have been running around trying to solve the crime himself and after almost five years, Snape knew the boy well enough to be able to recognise the signs if he _was _attempting to meddle.  

In the absence of any other immediate options, Snape had decided to lay a trap in the hope the culprit might return.  He doubted Dumbledore would be happy if he actually maimed anyone, so he had regretfully settled instead on a painful, but not deadly, Hordulcerous Hex that would be remotely activated by any hand other than Lois's on her chamber door.  Once the guilty party entered her room, they would find their faces and upper bodies instantly covered in boils and suppurating sores that would not only be highly noticeable, but would also necessitate a visit to Madam Pomfrey to heal them, thus allowing Snape to identify and apprehend the miscreant.  He knew neither Poppy nor Lois would go along with his plan, so he had intended to inform them of his actions only after the event.  

The alarm he had set up to inform him that the trap had been sprung had gone off two days ago, just as he was about to start teaching a class.  He had ordered his confused students to pack up the equipment they had spent five minutes unpacking and sent them to the library to write an essay.  Unfortunately after a hurried dash to the Infirmary, Poppy had informed him that no one had attended with the symptoms his hex would have caused and other than frightening the life out of a skiving first year Gryffindor when he arrived, his efforts had been wasted.  

More maddening still, after checking he had discovered that no student had been absent from class that day and none of the professors had cancelled a lesson either.  He could only surmise therefore, that whoever had tried the handle had either been wily enough to test for wards before they actually entered the room, or that the alarm had been triggered by an accidental touch.  Annoyed as he was by his lack of success, at least one good thing had come out of it:  After taking him to task for risking injuring a student, Poppy had been as concerned as he was and had agreed to keep an eye on Lois's chambers without alerting her to the fact. 

Snape looked up, pulled from his contemplation as the cause of his worries entered the classroom after only the briefest of knocks on the door.

'What are you doing here?'  He asked suspiciously.  While he had made a point since the break-in of seeking her out at regular intervals during the day, he had learnt to be wary when she did the same.  For some reason she had taken to descending on him at odd moments, her only intent apparently, to torment him half out of his mind with desire before disappearing when they ran the risk of being discovered.

'I just felt like visiting you.'  She smiled innocently and he felt his stomach clench with pleasure at the sight of her.

'I'm very busy.'  He said in a hard voice, turning away and pretending to focus on the scrolls in front of him before she noticed his reaction.

'Too busy to say hello?'  Lois teased walking towards his desk.  It had been two weeks now since they had become lovers and she was happier than she could ever remember being.  Her only real gripe was that despite her attempts to convince him otherwise, he continued to insist that they keep their relationship a secret.  Although certainly not happy about it, she had reluctantly gone along with his request - at least as far as not actually _telling_ anyone about them went.  She had no intention of lying however, if she should be asked outright and she also had no intention of making it easy on him either.  In the privacy of his chambers Severus was tender and considerate but outside of them, in an attempt to deflect suspicion, he was colder and more distant than ever.  Lois had therefore made it her goal to cause him as much discomfort as possible during his working day and nothing pleased her more than appearing unannounced and startling an unwilling response out of him.  

'Yes.'  He muttered tensing as he felt her approach him from behind, his seated position allowing her to wrap her arm over his right shoulder, which edged towards his waist on the opposite side, squeezing gently.

'Lois.'  He warned gruffly feeling his heart rate speed up as she gently nibbled on his earlobe.   

'What?'  She breathed against his ear causing him to shudder at the sensation of warm breath against his skin.

'You have to stop that – I have a class in five minutes.'  He tried to say firmly, but the words were sluggish and indistinct as treacherous desire flooded his body.

She only laughed softly burying her head in the sensitive hollow of his shoulder and biting the tautly corded muscle she found there with delicate teeth.  With a tortured groan Severus grabbed the hand clutching his waist and stood up, pulling her roughly round to face him and in one fluid movement lifted her by the waist and sat her atop his desk.  He stepped instantly forward, her feet falling to rest on the chair he had just vacated, her knees grasping his slim hips tightly.

'Don't start something you cannot finish.'  He murmured in a honeyed voice bending slightly to place aggravatingly brief butterfly kisses on her lips.

Lois sighed with pleasure as he turned his attention to her neck, his hands burning through the thin silk of her blouse as they slid over her back in a caressing motion.  'I've got all the time in the world.'  She managed slightly breathless, almost forgetting for a moment just who was supposed to be seducing who.  'You're the one with a class about to begin Prof.' She smiled wickedly.  He swooped down at her challenging words, his kiss deep and drugging as she quickly lost all sense of time and place, panting up at him when he finally drew slowly back, seemingly as rattled as she was, his breathing harsh and laboured, his hands not quite steady.

Gazing into his passion filled face, she was suddenly overcome with such a deep and abiding love for the stern man standing in front of her, she could hold it in no longer.  'I love you.'  She blurted out, almost immediately freezing with horror as she realised what she had said.  _What the hell was she thinking?  _Severus wasn't ready for this yet, and she was desperately afraid he might be panicked into calling an end to their relationship now she had revealed the true extent of her feelings.  

She quickly ducked her head, refusing to look at him as she felt his body stiffen in shock.  While she was still vainly trying to think of something to say to negate the seriousness of her words, she felt his long fingers grasp her chin, drawing her head up so that he could see her face.  For long moments she attempted to keep her gaze turned away, but he kept his hands in position until she could delay the inevitable no longer.  When she finally lifted her eyes to meet his, she saw thankfully that they were not filled with pity or worse yet rejection, but instead glittered an intense burning black, a strangely exultant cast to his harsh features.

'Severus…' She began and ground to a halt as she struggled for words, her eyes gleaming wetly as she struggled to hold back the weak tears of relief that were threatening.  

'Shh.' He murmured soothingly, his long fingers settling at either side of her jaw to cup her face, his thumbs brushing a fleetingly gentle touch across her lips before he angled her head slightly, lowering his own until their lips met in a kiss that seemed to last forever.   

She was totally oblivious to anything but him until he jerked suddenly away from her, watching dazedly as he drew his wand from his sleeve and pointed it at the wooden classroom door, which slammed loudly shut in response.  A disgruntled yell could be heard from the other side and Lois gave a soft groan as she buried her head in his robes.

'Time for class I guess.'  She said shakily, her emotions zigzagging wildly between terror at how easily her careless words could have cost her everything and wild joy that she no longer had to hide her feelings from him.

'It would seem so.'  He nodded ruefully lifting her down and escorting her to the door.  It was only after she came back down to earth much, much later that she wondered a little despairingly if she would ever hear her words spoken in return.  

***

'Remus I'm just not in the mood right now.'

'You never are and I'm quite certain it isn't a matter of mood.'

'What does that mean?'  Lois questioned defensively.

'It _means_ that you're afraid to face the Boggart and you're making up excuses to avoid it.'

'No I'm not.'  She said with an attempt at breezy nonchalance that fell far short.

'Well in that case what are we waiting for?  Everything's ready.'  Remus said pointing to a trunk on the floor.  'We've got a Boggart, an empty classroom, the time.  In fact the only missing ingredient is a student, which would be you, ready and eager to soak up my expert knowledge.' 

'I'm really tired though and I think I may have a cold coming on.'  She said a shade pathetically, her head drooping and her shoulders slumped.  'I honestly don't think I'd be up to it today.'  

'Lois, you've had some reason or another for not doing this every day for the past week.  It's not going to get any easier constantly putting it off.  Why don't you just bite the bullet and do it?'

She looked over at him her eyes wide and beseeching and he felt himself wavering for a second before his professional instincts took over – he'd given her every opportunity to make the decision herself, now it was time to force the issue.  'Look, you _have_ to do this if you want to pass your exam – no exceptions.'  He said firmly.

She nodded reluctantly and heaved a heavy sigh.  'Yeah, I know.  Okay then let's get on with it.'  She said rubbing her hands nervously together.

'Umm Lois, what exactly is it we're going to be seeing here?'  Remus asked suddenly watching her curiously.

'A zombie.'  Lois admitted with an embarrassed groan.  'It's so stupid; I mean I know they don't exist.  I said I _know_ they don't exist.'  She repeated loudly, when the DADA Professor appeared horrifyingly as though he was about to tell her something she _really_ didn't need to hear if she planned on ever sleeping again.  'But when I was ten I snuck out of bed to watch this horror film my dad had forbidden me to see and nearly frightened myself to death.  I think it must have scarred me for life.'  She said with a small shudder, a bead of sweat appearing on her upper lip.

'If it was upsetting you so much, why didn't you turn it off?'  Remus asked perplexed.

'I don't know.'  Lois said impatiently.  'I couldn't help myself – I'm as bad now.  When I'm flicking through the TV channels late at night and I see one on, I just can't seem to stop myself from watching for a few minutes.  Through my fingers of course.'  She confessed.  'They still give me nightmares.'

At that, the tatty old trunk rattled menacingly as if the Boggart was fully aware it was the object of their conversation.  Lois paled at the sound and groaned sickly.  

'Ready then?'  Remus asked loudly pretending he hadn't heard anything and propelling her swiftly towards the centre of the room.

'No.' She muttered belligerently.  'And if you were my friend you wouldn't be making me do this.'

'Stop trying to make me feel guilty Lois - it isn't going to work.  Just remember it will all be over in ten minutes and when it is, you'll wonder why on earth you were so frightened in the first place.'  He assured.  'Now are you _positive_ you wouldn't rather do this with one of the classes?  It really is much better the more people there are.'

'No, no.' She said quickly. 'Bad enough I've got to do this with _you_ watching.  I don't want to start screaming in front of a room full of thirteen year olds – I'd never live it down.' She muttered.

'All right then.'  Remus said with a helpless shrug.  'Now, you know what's going to happen, so wand out and get your funny thought ready.'  

Lois managed a small nod, her hand shaking badly.  Pulling his own wand, Remus moved to the side of the room and shot her a quick encouraging smile before pointing it at the lid of his battered trunk, which sprang open amid a shower of sparks.  Her breath left her body in a frightened whoosh as the animated corpse crawled awkwardly out of the cramped case, a low moaning noise accompanying its every move. Tension screaming, she watched terrified as the zombie straightened as much as its decomposing muscles would allow, its incredibly long arms already stiff and reaching hungrily for her.  Remus winced unseen as he took in the creature's rotted flesh hanging limply from its face and throat as it began a tortuously slow, shuffling walk across the classroom floor towards the petrified woman.   

'Riddikulus!'  Lois gasped weakly and as she had imagined the zombie's body immediately fell apart, its unconnected limbs hitting the floor with dry, cracking sounds.  Better, she thought with slight relief, nodding shakily.  No wait, not better!  All the separate pieces were quickly re-orientating themselves and making their own way towards her, unhampered by the fact that they were no longer joined to a body. 

'Oh God.'  She breathed in a tiny tragic voice, frozen with terror as a crawling hand inched its way ever closer.  'Remus, do something!'  She begged as the head, missing its left eye, began rolling clumsily towards her.  When the torso, which was still partially attached to the right arm, also joined the attempt to reach her, she gave up all pretence of courage and ran for the door with a panicked yelp.  While she scrabbled madly for the handle, she heard a loud crack behind her and turned warily to see Remus, wand held out facing a glowing orb.

'Lois get back here!  You nearly had it!'  He ordered over his shoulder and she moved reluctantly forward her legs almost refusing to carry her.  'Riddikulus.'  He said and stepped hurriedly to one side leaving her facing the zombie again, which had reappeared fully formed with another loud crack.  

'Riddikulus!' She shouted, her voice trembling and this time the zombie melted into an oozing pool of green slime onto the stone floor, its putrid clothes floating lazily down on top to cover the mess.

'Excellent!'  Remus said happily, briefly patting her on the back before grabbing her arm and pulling her swiftly from the room.

'What are you doing?'  Lois asked dazedly, her heart hammering in her chest. 'I thought you said it wasn't gone till it exploded?'  She said watching him lock the classroom door.

'It isn't, but I still need it for lessons and if we don't destroy this one I can use it again.  Hopefully it will climb back into my trunk, but it won't do it while we're in the room.'

'Oh I see.'  Lois mumbled still feeling shaky and not entirely happy that he hadn't finished the Boggart off.  'I'm not doing it again though!'  She rallied enough to inform him sharply.

'Why not?  You did wonderfully Lois – I'm proud of you!  And you can't tell me you don't feel a sense of achievement now that you've faced your fears.'

'Yes, I can actually!'  Lois could say in all honesty.  'I was perfectly happy leaving that little fear unfaced and I didn't really _achieve_ anything.  I'm _still_ terrified of it.' She said with a deep shudder walking ahead of him into the staff room.

'Terrified of what?'  Snape questioned looking up at the sound of their voices and standing from his chair with a frown on seeing her pale features.

'We've just had a lesson with a Boggart.'  Remus said with an apologetic glance at Lois as he made them a both a cup of tea, hers with plenty of sugar.

'Are you all right?'  Snape asked examining her closely.  She had probably seen something relating to her husbands death he realised his stomach tensing, partly with concern for her but mostly, he was slightly ashamed to admit, with jealously.

'No I'm not; it was horrible – a huge brain eating zombie.'  Lois informed him plaintively and he felt guilty relief spread through him. 

'It wasn't _that_ bad Lois.'  Remus chided and she rolled her eyes at him.

'Easy for you to say Lupin.'  Snape said harshly.  'Still being terrified by tiny floating moons?'  He mocked.

'Unfortunately.'  Remus agreed calmly.  'And do _your_ Boggarts still turn into grindylows?'  

'No.' Severus snarled.  'Most of us have learned to control our foolish childhood fears by the time we reach adulthood.'  He disparaged missing Remus's slight wince at the jibe, or the way his gaze sharpened on the comforting squeeze Severus briefly gave Lois's shoulder, before turning sharply back towards the DADA Professor with a dark glower.  'Now if you have quite finished scaring the wits out of my…' Snape stopped abruptly, unsure how to finish that sentence and blindingly furious with himself for speaking without thinking when he saw dawning comprehension flash across the werewolf's face.

'Your…. Lois?'  Remus supplied helpfully his lips twitching.

Snape attempted to wither him with a look, but Lupin refused to cooperate so he settled for turning his back dismissively on the now grinning idiot and focussing on Lois instead.  Unfortunately she was also grinning at him, obviously pleased by his slip, her blue eyes gleaming.

'Uh oh - I think the jigs up Severus.'  She announced solemnly, distracted from her earlier fright by the entertaining conversation.  'And, may I point out, through absolutely no fault of mine - you have decidedly loose lips.'  She teased reaching up to plant a quick kiss on them.

'And you Achelois,' Snape said pulling away from her with a jerk and heading for the door.  'Have the ability to try the patience of a saint.'  He growled in a highly aggrieved tone, relenting when he saw her hurt expression.  With a muffled curse he strode bad temperedly back towards her, pulling her into a brief, possessive kiss before heading for the door again, unable to prevent himself from shooting a triumphant look at a wide-eyed Remus Lupin as he left.

***   

Trudging across the soggy school grounds the following day, Lois was very grateful for the pair of wellies Sorrel Sprout had lent her.  Unfortunately although they were about the same height, their shoe size most definitely wasn't and Lois ran the very real risk of leaving the boots behind with every sinking step she took.  She was concentrating so hard on not doing just that, that the sudden sound of Hugo Quade's voice at her side startled her.

'I forget to tell you this morning Lois, I actually went to your quarters last night to try to arrange this little jaunt.'  He said offhandedly. 'But you weren't there.'

'Did you?'  Lois asked vaguely not quite meeting his eyes.  'I was probably visiting Harry.'  She mumbled uncomfortably.  She had hoped that after Remus had found out about her relationship with Severus, it would mean an end to all the secrecy.  Unfortunately, she had been quickly disabused of that notion when Severus had informed her that he had persuaded the other man to remain silent.  Not sure she wanted to know what form him methods of "persuasion" took, she hadn't asked for any further details. 

'Oh is _that_ where you were?'  Hugo said with faint surprise, his blue eyes gleaming with humour as he studied her averted profile.  'I must say you've surprised me there Lois.  When I couldn't find you, I automatically assumed you were with Severus down in the "Dungeon o' Love." 

His damning words spoken so casually had her whipping around to stare over at him open-mouthed.  'Wha…?!  Why on earth would you…?' She trailed off as he shook his head in mock disappointment at her woeful attempts at denial.  'How do you know?'  She conceded with a sigh. 

'Well firstly you're an atrocious liar, secondly I'm not blind, I've _seen_ how the two of you act together, and thirdly – and frankly the biggest giveaway of them all – Poppy told me.  She came bounding out of her room just as I was about to leave and informed me that if I needed you, I'd find you in Snape's quarters.'

'I suppose there's no point in denying it then.'  Lois said with a slight shrug.

'Not really, but I must confess I'm curious as to _why_ you're keeping it a secret.'  Hugo said, surprised by her lack of reaction.  'Is it because you're erm… embarrassed about your relationship?'  He probed delicately.

'NO!  This is all Severus's doing, _not_ mine.  He's got this bee in his bonnet about people judging me if they knew about us.'  She pursed her lips in annoyance.   'Frankly I couldn't care less, but it's important to him so I haven't pushed it.'  Hugo raised his eyebrows, silently questioning her acceptance of a situation she plainly wasn't happy with.  '_And_ also because I thought it would get out soon enough without any help from either of us.  I've fast come to realise it's next to impossible to keep anything secret in this place.'  She admitted, a small smile tugging at the edge of her lips. 'You don't have a problem with it do you?'  She asked suddenly a suspicious gleam in her eyes.

'Not me.'  He said quickly, hands held up in a placating gesture.  'Whatever makes you happy.  You _are_ happy I take it?'

Lois let out a deep contented sigh.  'Yes.  Very.'

Hugo nodded.  'Well that's all that matters I suppose.'  He said almost to himself.

'So why didn't you come down to the dungeons last night once you knew where I was?'  Lois asked when he said no more.

'Well I rather assumed Snape wouldn't have been very impressed to find me on his doorstep asking for you at that time of night.'  

'Mmm, good point.'  Lois agreed imaging what Severus's response would have been to that.  'He can be a little jealous sometimes.'  

'Can he?'  Hugo asked with a speculative look.

'Not manically.'  She rushed to say. 'Just slightly… possessive.'

'Be careful you don't mistake jealousy for a sign of some deeper emotion Lois, it isn't always the case.'  Hugo warned hearing the underlying satisfaction in her tone.  'Although maybe it is with him.'  He said quickly when pain flashed briefly across her face.

'That's what I'm hoping.'   Lois murmured, shaking her head when she spotted Hugo eyeing her with concern.  'Ignore me, I'm just feeling a bit worn out and weary today.'  She said with a half smile.   

'Probably because you're working too hard.'  He informed her, happy to change the subject.  'I get tired just watching you sometimes.'  

'I've got so much to learn though.'

'Maybe so, but you're not on a time limit!  I know you came into this late, but attending Hogwarts should be a fun experience - however old you are.'

'I _am_ having fun.'  Lois assured him.  'In fact, this is a huge improvement on how school was the first time round.'  She grinned.

He returned her smile, his own slightly regretful.  'I envy you sometimes Lois.'  He confessed.

'Why on earth would you envy me?'  She asked with amused disbelief.  'Here I am, blundering around not knowing what I'm doing, making a hash of things more often than not, and facing the looming prospect of failing exams that eleven year olds breeze through.  I'm never going to set the magical world on fire Hugo.  Might set myself on fire though.'  She said wryly.  'No, I'm definitely the one who should be envying you - a fully qualified, successful wizard, with all of the hurdles of student life faced and overcome.'   

'Yes, but that's precisely the reason _why_ you're so lucky.  You're at the stage right now when everything is new and exciting _and_ at an age when you can really appreciate it, whereas I can barely even remember what that was like, let alone ever experience it again.   There's nothing more exhilarating than an open road ahead, filled with limitless possibilities and opportunities.'

'That's true I suppose, but you're not exactly over the hill yourself.'  She chided.  'If you're feeling stuck in a rut you could always try something new.  What about teaching?  Has your stint as Professor made you give any thought to taking it up permanently?'

'No, I've enjoyed my time here, but it's not something I'd want to do forever and certainly not teaching Care of Magical Creatures.  Like I said, it isn't a difficult subject to teach, but Merlin's beard it should include danger money!  I don't know how Hagrid expects anyone to get near enough to _feed_ some of the monsters he's got on this years syllabus, let alone study them at close quarters!'

'I think the bigger the better as far as he's concerned.'  Lois said honestly - she had heard a lot about Hagrid from Harry, speaking of which:  'Do you have any idea when Hagrid will be back yet?'

'Well, Dumbledore hasn't got an exact date, but it probably won't be too much longer now.'  

'I'll miss you.'  Lois said honestly.

Hugo smiled his left eyelid dropping in a slow wink.  'Don't let Severus hear you say that hmm?  I've put a lot of time and effort into avoiding injury these past few months and I don't want it ruined at the last minute by exposure to a hitherto unknown beast – the green-eyed Snape.'

'It'll be our secret.'  Lois promised amused.  'Now, what are you dragging me through all this mud to see anyway?'  She asked as they finally came to halt.

'Horseflies.'  He said pushing open a gate and allowing her to precede him through it.  'Which despite their name can't actually fly, although they do have wings.  Pixies and leprechauns use them in much the same way as humans use muggle horses.  These are only babies, but they won't be very much bigger even when they're fully grown.'  He informed her leading her over to a low fenced paddock. 

'Oh they're adorable!'  Lois breathed looking down at the tiny creatures.  Perfect miniature horses of varying sizes, the smallest no bigger than the palm of her hand, the tallest no higher than five inches and all of them with glowing, cobweb fine iridescent wings sprouting from either side of their backs.  

'They are pretty little things.'  Hugo agreed smiling at her enraptured expression as he turned to grab a handful of hay to feed them.  'But the females –' 

'Ouch!'

'– Bite.   Lois what's the first rule in Care of Magical Creatures?'  He asked in a resigned tone as she cradled her sore arm to her chest and fixed him with an accusing glare, which wilted at his words.

'Until I know what they are, keep my damn hands out of the cage no matter how harmless they seem.'  She recited glumly.

'And the second?'

'The cuter they look, the sharper the teeth and more painful the sting.'  

'And do you finally believe me now?'  He asked with a bemused shake of his head.  'No!  Don't just heal it.'  He said quickly as she reached for her wand.

'Why?  Are they venomous?'  Lois asked worriedly.

'No, but it would serve you right if they were.'  He grumbled turning her arm until he could see the purpling bruise appearing just above her wrist, a small trickle of blood oozing from a spot where the skin had been broken.  'Even so, you're going to need to clean it with more than just a spell – horsefly bites are particularly prone to infection.'  He said handing her his handkerchief to press over the wound.

'It seemed so friendly.'  Lois said eyeing the tiny creatures balefully now.  'And it ran towards me.  I didn't think it would turn like that.'

'The males don't – they're herbivores, but a large part of the females diet is made up of blood.'  

'A vampire horse?'  Lois said with horror stepping even further away from the pen.

'Well sort of,' he agreed.  'But no more so than a mosquito is - it couldn't have done you any _real_ harm.' 

'Whose blood do they drink?'  

'Woodland creatures – voles, mice, rabbits.'  He said reaching over the fence to carefully pick up a one of the smaller horses and stroke its silky mane.  'This one's a male, you can tell by its smaller size and the markings on its wings.  Do you want to hold it?'

Lois examined the horse warily.  It certainly _seemed_ friendly, but then so had tiny Count Horsula over there, right before it had attempted to drain her dry.  'Er, not right now Hugo.' She refused with a shake of her head, having completely gone off the animals.  'But thank you for bringing me to see them.'  She said sincerely very grateful for the time he and all the other professors had spared her since her arrival.  

'Fair enough.'  He agreed with a smile, lowering the creature back into the fenced area.  'We should probably get you back to the castle so Poppy can take a look at your wrist anyway and next time, I promise I'll stick to toothless magical creatures.'

'I think that might be best.'  She said with a grin.

*****

Lois removed the heat from her bubbling cauldron with a relieved sigh.  It was getting very late and she had been working on the potion for well over an hour already; at this stage she didn't much care if it was perfect – she was just glad it was done.  Straightening her back with difficulty, she swivelled on her stool to look over at Severus and was pleased to see he had also finished whatever he had been working on.  All of his supplies and equipment were gone and he now had only a stack of open scrolls piled in front of him.   

'I think this is ready Severus… Are you okay?'  She asked in concern seeing him pinch the bridge of his nose with a wince as her loud words broke the silence.

'Fine, just a slight headache.'  He said tiredly.  'The combined fumes of fire weeds and stinging nettles always seem to affect my sinuses.'  

'Oh you poor baby.' Lois teased consolingly, her eyes narrowing speculatively as a sudden thought struck her.  'Umm Severus, do you remember when I very first came here how Harry said I made him feel better in the hospital with a touch?'

'Yes.'  He said with a bitter curl of his lips that conversations regarding the young boy always generated.  'Why do you ask?' 

'Well the other week after he had his accident in Elena's class, I thought for a minute that I might have… done it again. '  She admitted cautiously.  'That's if I ever really did it in the first place of course.'  She amended hurriedly.

'I thought you said you weren't having any success with your experiments?'  Snape questioned sharply.

'I'm not.'  Lois rushed into speech.  'Poppy's mashed poor Clive practically to bits and…'

'Clive?'

'The dummy.  She's named it.'  Snape rolled his eyes and Lois continued with a slight smile.  'Anyway like I said, she's done it some really serious damage and I can still barely feel anything and most of the time nothing at all but…' She trailed off uncertainly.

'Mr Potter is somehow different?'  Snape questioned a hard edge to his voice.

'I'm not sure.  I mean I was fine until I hugged him –'

'You _hugged _him?'  Snape asked in disgust, but Lois ignored him.

'– and after that he suddenly looked better and _I_ had a rotten headache so I thought maybe…. Oh it's ridiculous.'  She said with a shake of her head.  'Never mind.'  She muttered feeling foolish.

'No, it isn't ridiculous.'  Snape said in a considering tone.  'Dumbledore himself suggested you might have a stronger connection to Potter because he was the first wizard you ever really came into contact with.  Given that were true, it would be feasible I suppose that the connection has remained and maybe even grown stronger considering the amount of time you spend with him.'  He said, the last words vaguely accusing.  'How long did the headache last?'  

'Erm… Not long, I don't think.'  She said taken aback by the sudden interrogatory tone.

'Did you tell Poppy?' 

'Well no, I didn't –'

'And why not?'  He asked impatiently.  'If it happens again, I want you to make sure you tell either Poppy or myself _immediately_.'  He reprimanded.

'Do you really think it's possible then?'  Lois questioned, ignoring the rebuke.  'I mean it hasn't happened before.'

'Hasn't happened before, as far you _know_.  If something similar had occurred in the past, there would be no reason to connect any aches and pains you might have experienced as being transferred from a child you were caring for.'  He pointed out reasonably.  'Or perhaps your… _fondness_ for Potter and your newfound knowledge of your abilities have only now made it possible.  In any event, whatever the reason, am I correct in assuming you are only mentioning it at this late stage because you would like to use me as a guinea pig?'  He questioned with lazy amusement.

'Well I thought if you didn't mind…?'

'Go ahead.'  He said casually standing up to walk towards her and stopping within inches of touching her.

'I feel silly now.'  Lois confessed awkwardly looking up at him.  'I don't know what to do.'

'Do what you did to Potter.' He said with a flash of annoyance.

Lois shrugged and wrapped her arms swiftly around him, but instead of immediately pulling away as she had with Harry, the feel and smell of him as always set off fireworks in her body and she pressed herself instinctively closer, sinking bonelessly against him.

'I hope you didn't do _that_!'  Snape gasped as she wriggled enticingly.

'Of course not!'  Lois quickly denied glancing up at him slightly shamefaced.  'Can I help it if I find you wildly irresistible?'  She said with small smile stepping away from him in an attempt to compose herself before trying again.

Snape looked down at her bent head and was filled as he always was, with a sense of awe at the deep and inexplicable attraction she felt for him.  He wasn't a vain man by nature, so the whispered insults from the students had never bothered him, but he couldn't deny it was a heady experience being so completely desired by someone.  Perhaps most pleasing was the knowledge that she wanted him warts and all.  Other than the abortive experiment with the muggle shampoo, which had made not a blind bit of difference to his or anyone else's eyes, she seemed perfectly content with him just as he was.  In fact, the way she gazed at him sometimes made him feel as though he was a Greek god, he thought with a trace of smugness.  Maybe it really _was _love that made the difference he mused, before sharply reigning in his thoughts.  He wasn't ready yet to even risk _considering_ the possibility she truly meant what she had said, so he pushed his dangerous imaginings determinedly aside and concentrated on the woman in front of him once more.

'Are you quite sure you're up to this Lois?'  He asked with a raised eyebrow as she moved back towards him.  'I wouldn't want you to injure yourself trying to suppress your… wild attraction was it?'   

'Don't you worry about me - I have _excellent_ self-control.'  She informed him haughtily, ignoring his disbelieving snort as she placed her arms around him again and pulled him - this time - into a completely platonic hug.

A sudden high-pitched giggle had her head whipping around startled, as Peeves appeared through the classroom wall a moment later.  His flight across the dungeon was brought to an abrupt halt by the sight of Hogwarts stern Potions master standing immobile in the middle of his classroom, wrapped in Lois's embrace.  The ghost's shock lasted for only a second before his features lit with utter glee.  His intense joy in Snape's obvious displeasure at being discovered in such a compromising position, easily overcoming the surface respect he generally afforded all the Professors.  Energised, the small poltergeist jolted back into action, spinning in mad circles around the room.

'Lois Scott, Lois Scott, got Professor Snape all hot!'  He trilled with malicious triumph.  

It had all happened so quickly that Lois had had no chance to even consider releasing her hold on Snape, before the classroom door burst open and Filch came dashing in, breathing heavily and holding his broom out in front of him like a spear.  The wizened old man froze on spotting Lois and Snape in the much the same manner as Peeves had, however unlike Peeves he obviously found no pleasure in the situation.  'Beg your pardon Professor.'  Filch croaked his expression horrified.  'I had no idea you were in here.'

'Caught 'em smooching I did Filch,' Peeves lied merrily, floating down to hover cross-legged in front of the dismayed caretaker.  'Bold as brass they was, right in the middle of the classroom as well. What _would_ the Headmaster think?  Disgraceful it is and _him_ a Hogwarts Professor.'  He said with mock disillusionment before screeching with laughter again. 

Snape gave an annoyed growl at his words, pulling Lois's arms from around him and physically setting her to one side before moving to stand protectively in front of her.  Lois wrinkled her nose affectionately behind his back; anyone would think they had been caught cavorting naked on a desk instead of simply hugging fully clothed.  Peering around his tall form she saw Filch looking everywhere but at them and Peeves floating on his back, cackling wildly in between carolling his rhyme.

'Give her a kiss!' Peeves hooted impatiently, obviously unhappy with the lack of response his song was getting and eager, as ever, to stir up trouble.

'I suggest you desist your caterwauling and remove yourself from my classroom this instant Peeves or you will be very sorry.'  Snape warned icily, but to no avail.  The poltergeist only sang louder, careening wildly around the room now, moving so quickly that he failed to notice Snape pulling his wand and pointing it at his gaudily clad form before saying calmly, 'Solidous.'  

Although unlike the rest of the castle's ghosts Peeves wasn't glowingly translucent, he still had the ability to float through objects at will.  At Snape's spell however, he was startled to discover his spectral form becoming momentarily solid as he slammed at high speed into one of the desks, before being propelled backwards, and then through the desks behind him as he returned to his normal state.  He howled in pain, cursing furiously as he shot upwards through the ceiling, a loud crash reverberating from the room above as he disappeared from view.

'I'd better go and see what damage he's caused up there.'  Filch managed to choke out, obviously bitterly disappointed by Snape's taste in women and barely able to look the potions master in the eye.

'That sounds like an excellent idea.'  Snape said with distant courtesy and Filch muttered his hasty goodbyes, the door closing quietly behind him.

'I guess you really _can't_ keep secrets at Hogwarts.' Lois said with a smile in her voice, highly amused by the whole incident.

'Apparently not.' Snape agreed.

Lois looked over at him worried by his grim tone, but he said no more. 'Severus, you're not angry are you?'  She asked hesitantly unsure of his mood.  'They don't _really_ know anything, they were just being…. well, Peeves and Filch.'  She tried to console.

'No not angry, just weary of the constant lack of privacy.' He said in an emotionless voice.

'Well that's what happens when you live and work in the same place.' Lois shrugged deciding now probably wasn't a good time to tell him about her conversation with Hugo either.  'So, do you want to try again or shall we just forget it for tonight?'

'No.  I still have a perfectly good headache, which thanks to our uninvited guests is now immeasurably worse.  It seems a great pity to let it go to waste.'  He said sardonically, tugging her sharply towards him and linking her arms around his middle. 

For a moment Lois debated taking him to task for his high-handed treatment before deciding to let it go this time and relaxing against him; he'd had a rough couple of days.   'Do you feel anything?'  She asked finally, peeping up at him a minute later.  He shook his head no.  'Me neither.'  She admitted.  'Hmm, you're a lot taller than Harry is – try sitting down.'  She instructed grabbing his hand and dragging him over to the high backed chair at his desk.  'Oh, now you're smaller.'  She announced with displeasure as he sat.

'Can we get a move on woman?'  Snape barked irritably when she continued to hesitate over what to try next.  'I _was_ hoping to get to bed sometime before dawn.'

'Well if you were also hoping for me to join you there, you'd better stop being so ratty with me.'  Lois huffed.  'I was only trying to get everything as close as possible to how it was in the Infirmary that day.'  She continued in an offended voice.

'I see, am I take it you have decided _height_ is now the solution to all this?'  Snape mocked, real impatience looming. 

'Fine, I'll just get on with it.'  Lois muttered truculently wrapping her arms around him, the room utterly silent for long moments until a soft sigh escaped her as she lowered her cheek onto the top of his head, once again feeling nothing.  'I knew it wouldn't work.'  She said not moving position, but raising her hands to caress the hair at the nape of his neck as his own arms wound around her waist.

'No.' He agreed sombrely.  'It would appear your feelings for Potter make him special somehow.'

'Maybe nothing happened with him either.  Perhaps I just had a headache.'  

'Perhaps.' He agreed, but his tone said he doubted it.

'I do love you, you know.'  Lois insisted pulling back to stare deep into his dark eyes, feeling a strange urge to reassure him.  

He nodded gravely, pulling her onto his lap and lowering his lips to hers, successfully silencing any further conversation.  What he couldn't prevent however, was the cynical little voice that questioned just which of them exactly she was trying to convince.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N  **Thank you all for your reviews and I'm incredibly sorry it's taken me so long to update.  I've had a million and one problems – actual figure **:) –** and I just didn't have any time to write for a while.  Then just as I was _finally_ about finished with chapter 21, my blasted computer broke and had to be rushed off to be mended.  Fixed now though thank goodness!  


	22. In the Doghouse

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Severus Snape was in an exceedingly bad mood, which was obvious, apparently, even from his walk.  Striding through Hogwarts corridors the milling students gave him a wider birth than usual, not that it did them any good.  On the short journey from the Staff Room to the Infirmary he had managed to deduct a total of sixty House points, a personal best, which he couldn't even enjoy.  He was too busy silently steaming over an encounter with Flitwick, during which he had had to endure yet more - as Lois termed it - "affectionate ribbing" and what he more properly called an  "inexcusable invasion of his privacy."  Unfortunately, since the incident in his classroom with Peeves, his relationship with Lois had become something of an open secret with the rest of the staff.  Mercifully after enlisting the assistance of the Bloody Baron, the poltergeist had been convinced to keep his mouth shut as far as the students were concerned, but it was a case of too little, too late for Snape.  

The reactions of the other Professors to their relationship had ranged from triumphant glee, through vaguely insulting bewilderment, to open hostility, courtesy of Elena Roupe.  Despite his misgivings, Lois at least seemed exceedingly pleased with the current state of affairs.  Her declarations of love had continued unabashed and now that she wasn't required to hide the fact that they were together, she was apparently on cloud nine.  Regrettably that was not the case for Snape who had had to bear the brunt of the teasing - good-natured and otherwise – most likely because he flatly refused to satisfy their prurient curiosity on the subject.  On the other hand it wasn't _all_ bad news; he had to admit Lois's increased happiness had proven to have decided… compensations for him. 

Approaching the Infirmary he felt his annoyance begin to dissipate in the eagerness to see her again.  He cursed his pathetic neediness under his breath, but couldn't prevent his stride from lengthening as he turned the last corner and pushed the large doors open.  Finding the sickbay deserted, his eyes swivelled to the office at the end of the room, searching for a familiar flash of blonde hair and was disappointed when only Poppy Pomfrey emerged.

'Morning Severus.  If you're looking for Lois, you're too late.  She left with Remus about ten minutes ago.'

'As a matter of fact I wasn't.'  He lied stony faced.  'I came to check in with you.  You were going to keep an eye on Lois's room?'  He reminded when she looked at him blankly.

'Ah, yes.'  Poppy said deflatedly, her face falling at his lack of response to her teasing before she rallied gamely.  'Well, I'm afraid I haven't got any news for you there.  I've kept a look out as I promised, but I haven't come across a single pupil behaving oddly, or even being where they shouldn't be for that matter.  In fact the only student I've seen visiting Lois is Harry Potter, sometimes with those friends of his.  Oh, and the Weasley twins once.'

'What were they up to?'  Snape demanded instantly suspicious of any unexplained appearances by that pair.

'Trying to bypass me to get yet another self-inflicted magical injury looked at.  Hoping to avoid a scolding I suppose, not that it did them any good; Lois wasn't in and they had no choice but to confess once I saw the state of them.'  She said with equal parts amusement and exasperation.

'I see, well thank you anyway Poppy.'  Snape nodded accepting her explanation.  He made to walk towards the door but, stopped and turned back towards her before he had taken more than two steps.    'You said Lois went with Lupin?  Did she happen to mention where she was going?'  He asked casually.

Poppy's expression lit with glee which she quickly smothered before he could notice.  'No idea I'm afraid.'  The mediwitch murmured vaguely watching him closely.

'Fine, fine.  I suppose he's here making a nuisance of himself quite often with his… illness?'  He questioned his tone decidedly indifferent, but the intent gleam in his eyes telling another story entirely.

'Who Remus?  Now that boy couldn't be a nuisance if he tried and as for his illness – well he's certainly never been one to wallow in self-pity, I'll say that for him.  If he comes to me for treatment you can be sure he needs it.  But you're right, he is here a fair bit what with one thing or another.'  Poppy said musingly.  'Why do you ask?'

'No reason.  I was simply curious as to how much additional work his appointment had caused the staff, myself included.'

'Really?'  She asked highly sceptical.  'Because it sounded to me as though you were trying to find out how much time he and Lois spend together.'

'I was simply making conversation Poppy, if you're going to overanalyse everything I say –'  He began repressively.

'_You_ don't make conversation.  _You_ barely remember to be civil most of the time and when you do initiate conversation, it's generally for the sole purpose of gathering information'

'If that's how you feel, I won't inflict my company on you any longer.'  Snape said strangely offended despite the fact she was quite right in her assessment of his actions. 

'Good grief Severus, what's got you in such a snit?'  Poppy asked surprised.  Snape generally enjoyed nothing more than a good argument and she had just given him a perfect opening.  'And don't try to tell me you're seriously jealous over Remus. It's as plain as the nose on your face that Lois loves you and any fool can see you love her.'  Snape growled warningly but Poppy waved him away.  'Come on something's bothering you, you can't fool me; I've known you far too long.'

Snape looked over at the plump witch with affection that he carefully didn't let show.  'Nothing's wrong, I'm simply tired of having to put up with snide comments everywhere I go just lately.  I can't step foot outside of my door without some imbecile making a smart remark and now I've got _Flitwick _giving me advice.' 

'Well it serves you right.'  Poppy said without pity.  'Lois might not mind because of her muggle upbringing, but you know as well as I do how the wizarding world gossips and it's only going to get worse with time.  When are you going to put an end to this foolishness and make an honest woman of her?'

'I don't believe that is any of your concern.'  Snape said icily, heartily wishing he hadn't confided in her and quickly summoning a glare that was guaranteed to send even the most foolhardy Gryffindor scurrying from his sight.  Unfortunately, Poppy was apparently immune.

'Don't you give me that look Severus Snape!'  The Matron said sharply, eyes blazing and Snape battled the urge to immediately apologise, but she stormed on before he had chance to succumb.  'It doesn't work anyway when the person you're trying to intimidate has seen you in your underwear.'

'What on earth do you mean?!  You most certainly have not!'  He burst out horrified, frantically trying to recall any incidents when such a thing could have occurred and coming up with not one.

'Oh yes I have.  Who do you think patched you up after you backed into that Incisid bush in Herbology?  The poison had you out for the count and wounds that big don't heal themselves mister.'

'Then?  That was almost twenty five years ago!'  

'Makes no difference,' she said smugly. 'I still remember.'

'That's utterly perverse.'  He said in high disgust, his exceedingly private nature instinctively abhorring the image of him vulnerable and practically naked in front of anyone, even if it was the school nurse.

'Maybe it would be if I'd gotten some illicit thrill from the sight.  However, I'm eternally glad to say that scrawny eleven year olds wearing  "Martin the Mad Muggle" underwear have never done a _thing_ for me.'  She assured him greatly amused by his ruffled dignity.

'Poppy!'  He bellowed having forgotten all about his closet childhood fascination with that particular comic book creation until just then.  'If you _tell_ anyone…'  

'Of course I wouldn't!'  She reprimanded watching sadly as he let out a deep, calming breath, his usual emotionless mask shifting seamlessly into place once more.  The rigid control he exerted over his feelings simply wasn't healthy she thought not for the first time; until Lois's arrival, practically the only time she saw him enjoying himself was when he was terrorising the students and that certainly wasn't healthy either!  'Ah, Severus, I won't pretend to have the first clue what goes on inside that convoluted head of yours.'  She said quietly, her expression concerned.  'And I know you'd probably be far happier if I minded my own business altogether, but I worry about you being so alone and now that you've got Lois, I just don't want to see you mess it up and lose her.'

His face blanched at her words and taking pity on him the older woman patted his hand comfortingly, her features softening into sympathetic lines.  'She's been good for you Severus and you _know_ it.'  He was silent for so long that she had given up any hope of a response, wondering regretfully if she had only succeeded in making matters worse when his quiet reply broke the stillness, his voice almost too low to be heard.  'I do.'  He admitted, his expression forestalling any further discussion.  

'Well, that's something I suppose.'  She conceded, not letting her relief show.  'But you think on about what I said; she might love you, but no woman is going to wait around forever, no matter how dark and smouldering you might be.'  She warned

A slight smile, almost instantly banished, touched his lips at that.  'Dark and smouldering?  My, my Poppy, I'm beginning to worry a little now about your apparent photographic memory for my underwear.'  He said with an intense stare from under lowered lids that he had always found had a very pleasingly breathless effect on Lois.  It seemed to work on older women too he saw smugly as Poppy's colour heightened and she became unusually flustered.

'Away with you now and out of my Infirmary.'  She ordered pink cheeked and Snape smiled fully this time, his hand raised in farewell salute as he sauntered unhurriedly from the room.  His thoughts however, were nowhere near as calm and measured as his pace, bordering instead on confused chaos.  

Poppy's insistence that Lois loved him echoed his own slowly growing belief that her feelings for him might indeed be real.  She was a grown woman after all, surely she could be trusted to know her own mind, however unlikely the emotions she was experiencing.  And if that was the case, maybe permanency wasn't completely out of the question he thought, cautious hope rising.  Okay people would talk about her, but as Poppy had pointed out, they were doing that already.  Wasn't it better she was disparaged for marrying him rather than for just sleeping with him?  A much more respectable state of affairs all round, he mused with satisfaction, before a quiver of panic shot through him.  Marriage?  Bloody hell!  Was he ready for that?  A resounding YES! was the very definite reply.

****

Lois would have been greatly reassured if she had been privy to Severus's thoughts just then, but as telepathy was not a skill she possessed, she remained sadly oblivious, chatting instead with Remus about her recent essay on methods of dealing with gnome infestation.  A knock at the door had both their heads lifting as he called out  'Come in.' The classroom door pushed open almost before he had spoken the words, to reveal Harry and the biggest dog Lois had ever seen in her life.

'Good grief Harry!'  She said in shock.  'Is that a dog or a bear?'  She asked, honestly believing it could be either.

He opened his mouth, but was prevented from answering by Remus rushing over to the boy and dog, reopening the door and obviously trying to shoo them both from the room.  'Harry, perhaps you should come back later?'  He said with a sidelong glance at Lois.  The large dog gave an equally large bark at Remus's approach, but Lois was glad to see it didn't appear dangerous with its huge pink tongue lolling out of his mouth, an almost friendly expression on his face.

Harry frowned in confusion for a moment before his face cleared as understanding dawned.  'It's okay Professor Lupin.'  He reassured his teacher.  'Lois knows all about it.'  The dog barked again and after a furtive look into the hallway, Remus quickly closed his classroom door drawing his wand to place a ward on it.

Confused by their strange behaviour and feeling very much in the way, Lois walked over to the now silent trio.  'We were nearly finished anyway Harry, so if you need to see Professor Lupin alone, don't let me…' She broke off mid-sentence, looking down in surprise having missed the large dogs approach until it began enthusiastically licking her wrist, which she pulled away with a giggle.  'Stop it mutt.'  She scolded playfully, scratching his large head.  'That tickles!'

'Sirius!'  Remus said reprovingly and Lois looked over at Harry surprised.  

'Isn't that the name of your godfather Harry?'  What were the chances of the dog also being called Sirius and how would Remus know that anyway?  Lois wondered curiously.  Was it his dog?  

'It's okay.'  Harry said again but this time, strangely, to the dog.  'This is Lois, you remember I told you about her?'  The huge dog tilted his head to one side in an oddly assessing gesture, before suddenly transforming into a human in front of her startled eyes.  

Lois jumped back in shock.  She had seen Professor McGonagall transform into a cat, but this was different – both the man and the dog he had been were enormous.  Looking a very long way up into the dark strangers face, Lois found him staring back down at her, a hint of smile on his lips.  Examining him closer, she realised he was as tall, if not taller than Snape, and very handsome.  His dark eyes however, were shadowed and grim making him appear older than his unlined face suggested him to be. 

'Lois this is my godfather – Sirius Black.'  Harry said with a hint of pride.

'Pleased to meet you Lois.'  Sirius said with a smile holding out his hand to her, which she cautiously took.  'Harry's told me a lot about you.'

'And vice versa.  Well – except for the fact that you're a dog.'  She admitted, still not quite over the shock of his transformation.  'What _was_ that?  Punishment?'

'A disguise.' Sirius answered amused.  'Very few people know I'm an Animagus which allows me travel undetected and,' he said with a warm look over at Harry.  'Pay long overdue visits to my godson.'

'More convincing than a wig and false moustache.'  Lois conceded.

'Just slightly.'  He agreed with a wry smile, turning back towards Harry who was watching the exchange with interest.  'Now that you've delivered me safely into Remus's hands, hadn't you better be getting to class?'

Harry glanced at his watch and grimaced.  'You're right I'm going to be late.  Damn, it would be for Professor McGonagall as well.'  He grumbled heading hurriedly for the door, Remus removing the spell on it from across the room.  'What about after school Sirius?'

'Dumbledore said we could use his office - just come straight up, I'll be waiting for you.'  Harry nodded dashing off with a quick wave leaving Lois alone with the two men.  Remus smiled warmly as Sirius cuffed his shoulder with affection.  'Good to see you old friend.'

'And you,' Remus agreed. 'But something of a surprise, what are you doing here?  Has something happened?'

'No, things are pretty quiet, worrying so in fact.  I do have _some_ information for Dumbledore though, which I thought I'd deliver in person so I could see Harry.'

'I'll leave you two alone to talk.'  Lois said into the break in conversation, realising they would hardly want her listening in on their discussion about the progress of the war against Voldemort.  

'No, please don't go just yet.'  Sirius said quickly.  'We've got a meeting with the Headmaster in an hour, so Remus can hear all the news then, but I was hoping I'd get the chance to meet you during my visit Lois; I wanted to thank you for taking care of Harry when he was injured. No,' he insisted when she tried to wave away his thanks. 'I know what you did for him, even going as far as to check up on him once he was back with that poor excuse for a family and I'm well aware that's not part of a muggle nurses job description.'

'There's nothing to thank me for - I wanted to do it.'  Lois said honestly.  'I'm very fond of Harry and he doesn't deserve to be stuck with people like the Dursleys.  Anyway, if it wasn't for him I would never have learnt I was a witch, so really he was the one doing me a favour.'

'Nevertheless, I wanted you to know how much I appreciate it.  It kills me him having to let him go back to those people every summer, but until I can take up Harry's guardianship, I'm forced to rely on the hope that should he ever need help, he'll have the good fortune to encounter someone like you.'  

There was such genuine gratitude and sincere concern for his godson in his eyes that Lois felt herself warming to the man, despite her predisposition not to.  He _had_ almost gotten Severus killed after all, schoolboy prank or not, and she hadn't expected to find anything remotely likeable about him.  

'As I said, it's truly not necessary, but thank you anyway.'  Lois said with a warm smile and watched entertained as the concern faded from his face and a flirting gleam lit in his eyes.

'I must say Lois, now that I've actually met you, I can understand why Harry is so smitten.'  He said with a charming smile. 'Your name has appeared in his letters a great deal lately.'  

'As has Ron and Hermione's and a good many others I'm sure, but if that was supposed to be a compliment, it was very well disguised.'  Lois said amused but attempting to sound offended.  'Are you tying to say the only reason Harry likes me is because of the way I look?'

'Of course not.'  He replied sincerely.  'And perhaps I'm misjudging him, but on the whole, teenage boys aren't generally renowned for seeing any further than surface appearances  – "Only God, my dear, could love you for yourself alone and not your yellow hair."  He quoted, his eyes glinting wickedly.

'Yeats?'  She asked after a surprised pause finally placing the line.  'I didn't know wizards read muggle poetry?'

'Most don't I suppose, but then I've always been fascinated by all things muggle; literature, poetry - women.'  He said with an admiring glance.  'I believe you're half muggle yourself Lois?  I would love to chat with you about that sometime.  It's so difficult to get a true understanding of the muggle world from books alone I've found and especially so with poetry, which has always been something of a… passion of mine.'  He said, his expression purposely soulful.

'The fact that he can con gullible witches into believing he's written it himself has nothing to do with it of course.'  Remus snorted sarcastically.

'I wouldn't _dream_…' Sirius began attempting to sound highly offended, before trailing of good naturedly when both Lois and Remus shot him identical sceptical looks. 'You see Lois.'  The dark haired wizard said mournfully.  'That's the problem with old friends; they know all your secrets.  Then again _true_ old friends wouldn't dream of revealing them.'  He growled pointedly. 'Don't you agree?'  He asked smiling winningly at Lois.

'Give it up Sirius.'  Remus laughed, amused by his friends intentionally over the top flirtation. 'She's already spoken for.'

'Really?'  Sirius asked with disappointment before brightening almost immediately, a broad smile flooding his face.  'Oh I see!  So the two of you are…?'  He questioned delicately, genuine pleasure in his voice. 

'No, just friends.'  Remus and Lois answered almost simultaneously, their eyes meeting with amusement at their dual denial. 

'Are you sure?'  Sirius asked directing his question to Remus who nodded firmly and then watched amused as his friend swivelled on the balls of his feet to face Lois once more.  'Well in that case… I see you're not married Lois?'  He said gesturing to her bare left ring finger and she shook her head, her lips pressed firmly together to hold in the laughter that was bubbling.  'And as partners aren't allowed at the school, that can only mean you're involved in a long distance relationship which in my experience _never_ work out, even more so if the man in question is a muggle.  No, what you need Lois is an experienced wizard, one who can be there for you, advise you and even guide you through your initiation into the magical world.'  He said, his eyebrows waggling suggestively in his humour filled face.

'I've got it covered, thanks.'  Lois said with a roll of her eyes at his light-hearted attempt at seduction. 'And you're wrong on both counts anyway; he's not a muggle and this isn't a long-distance relationship.  He's right here at Hogwarts as a matter of fact.' 

'He is?  Damn.  I was on a roll there too.'  

'You were?'  Lois questioned with mock amazement.  'You're not seriously telling me that stuff ever _works_ with women?'  

'Hey, you'd be surprised.'  He insisted with a grin.

'I really would.'    

'Ah, Lois you shouldn't have stopped him.' Remus chided joining the conversation.  'I was looking forward to hearing him sell you on how an escapee on the run from Azkaban was _still_ somehow a safer bet than an absent muggle.'   

'Worth a try old man, worth a try.'  Sirius said unoffended.  'So who is this paragon of virtue that holds your complete devotion Lois?  If it's not Remus here, it can't be any of last year's staff.  A new professor?'  He questioned curiously.

'No, an old one.'  Remus answered for her obviously enjoying himself.

'Old?  How old?  Dear god, it's not Dumbledore is it?'  He teased. 'Although now I think about it, I _thought_ the sly fox had an extra twinkle in his eye earlier!'

'Not quite that old.'  Lois replied, bracing herself for his response.  'Actually it's Severus.'  

'Severus?  Severus Snape!?   No, _please_ tell me you're joking?'  He said a look of horror on his face.

'I'm not joking and mind what you're saying about him if you please.'  Lois warned.  

Sirius however wasn't listening to her, instead turning an accusing gaze on his friend.  'You knew about this and you didn't _warn_ her about the greasy slime bag?  I thought you said the two of you were friends?'

'Incredibly important though I'm sure your opinion is to Lois after knowing you for all of five minutes,' Remus said calmly noticing the militant gleam her eye.  'I think it might be better if you kept it to yourself for the time being.'

Sirius snorted, obviously about to continue with his insults when something in Lois's expression stopped him short.  'Er, I suppose Remus is right, as usual; I hope you'll accept my apology Lois.'  He said stiffly.  'It's just that Snape and I have something of a… history which makes it a little difficult for me to hold my tongue on matters relating to him.'

'Yes, I know all about it and rest assured, Severus is equally unbiased.'  Lois said mildly and Remus stepped quickly in, obviously deciding to separate the two of them before the conversation had chance to deteriorate again.

'Well if Snuffles here has quite finished putting his paw in his mouth, perhaps it's time we made our way to Dumbledore?'  He questioned.

_Snuffles, Snuffles?  Where had she heard that name before?  _'Wait!  You're Snuffles?'  Lois demanded in shock as recollection bloomed.  Harry's godfather was the man Remus was involved with?  Why wouldn't Severus have mentioned Snuffles and Sirius Black were one and the same; he'd certainly had no qualms about voicing his dislike of the other man.  The bigger question occupying her mind right at the moment however, was how the hell Black had the nerve to flirt openly with her in front of poor Remus!  'But…but you licked my hand!'  She said accusingly, latching onto his very first offence.  The lecherous goat had been coming on to her even in canine form!  

'I make a point of kissing the hand of every beautiful woman I meet Lois, but in the absence of human lips, I had to improvise.'  Sirius replied his philandering nature apparently too deeply ingrained to be silenced because although the actual words were as flirtatious as ever, his tone was definitely wary now, her odd outburst along with the revelation about Snape obviously making him reconsider his initial impression of her.

Lois felt herself grow warm with embarrassment as she caught Remus's questioning gaze.  Severus had been right to call Sirius arrogant she fumed silently, angry at being placed in such an awkward position, how could he be so brazen, didn't he care about Remus at all?  

But wait, that wasn't right she realised, as rational thought slowly returned now that the shock had worn off.  Remus hadn't been hurt by Sirius's flirting, only amused and Sirius himself had seemed genuinely happy with the idea that she and Remus were a couple.  In fact thinking about it, none of this added up.  There had been nothing vaguely lover-like in their reactions to seeing each other after what must have been months apart and that wasn't something they could have convincingly pulled off, even if it was a case of them being discrete in front of Harry. Not that they didn't seem fond of each other, there was definite warmth between them, but it was the warmth of best friends, brothers even, certainly not two people who were romantically involved.  Lois bit back a curse as realisation dawned.  Of course they didn't act like lovers, because they weren't lovers at all!  _She_ was a gullible idiot and Severus was a lying toad!

'Is there something wrong Lois?'  Remus asked worriedly, as she began muttering under her breath. 

'No, no, just remembered something I'd forgotten to do.' She said unconvincingly, already heading for the door and stopping just before she reached it.  'Er Remus will you have some free time later on, after your meeting with Dumbledore?'

'Certainly.'

'Great!  I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall, before lunch if that's okay?'  She asked shooting him a thankful smile when he pulled his wand to open the door for her.  'Sirius, it was very nice to meet you.'  She called over her shoulder, vaguely aware from the careful way he was watching her that he probably thought her slightly unbalanced.  

'You too.'  He said hesitantly, but by that stage Lois had already gone. 

***

Seven o'clock that evening after missing both lunch and dinner, Lois strolled into Severus's chambers with an abstracted greeting.  On seeing her he immediately threw down the article he had been reading and strode towards her.  'Where have you been all day?'  He demanded highly annoyed.

'Oh, just in Hogsmeade.  I needed some new robes.'  She said breezily.  'Actually I've had a lovely day.  I bumped into Remus and we were having such a good time, we didn't realise how late it was until the shops began to close and by then we'd missed dinner, so we decided to eat in the village.'

'Really.'  He said without expression, a dangerous glint appearing in his dark eyes.

'Yes.'  She continued.  'You know it's so nice being able to get a male perspective on clothes without having to worry about any sexual tension or awkwardness getting in the way.'  She chattered on blithely, closely monitoring his reaction out of the corner of her eye as she made herself a cup of tea.

'Indeed.'  He said succinctly, his lips tightening.

'But honestly in this day and age, you wouldn't _believe_ how shocked Madam Malpass was when I invited Remus into the changing rooms with me - no one would bat an eyelid in muggle London.'  She said with a slight laugh.  'Mind you, Remus seemed a bit surprised at first too.'  She admitted thoughtfully.  'And saying he's not interested in women, his eyes certainly seemed to be on stalks I can tell you.'

'What?'  Snape shouted, his pretence of calm completely out of the window.  'He was actually in there with you!'

'Well there wasn't much room outside the changing room.'  Lois said reasonably, 'But it was absolutely huge inside - it would have been silly for me to have to keep running backwards and forwards when there was plenty of space in with me and even a chair for him to sit on.'

'Are you telling me you let him see you undressed!'  He bellowed.

'Well yes, but he didn't mind.'  She hurried to assure him.  'I mean he seemed a bit uncomfortable at first, but he soon got the hang of it.  By the end of the day he was grabbing robes left right and centre for me to try on.'  She informed him happily.

Snape looked stunned, his mouth opening and closing, but no words emerging.  Finally managing to pull himself together long, silent moments later, he attempted to speak again, but looking into her glinting eyes his face stiffened into a pained wince, which remained as he spoke.  'You know, don't you?'  He asked rhetorically.

'Yes I know you lying ratbag!'  Lois said sounding highly annoyed.  In reality however, thanks to her lifelong, and vexing, inability to hold a grudge, the majority of her earlier anger had gradually dwindled to almost nothing over the long day, and his immensely satisfying impression of a stunned halibut just then, had very successfully burnt away the last remaining traces.  Not that it would do to let him know that of course; he still owed her an explanation _and_ an apology.

'How did you find out?'  He asked carefully.

'Because I met _Snuffles_ today and I could have very easily made a complete idiot of myself thanks to you!  I can't believe you lied to me like that!'

'I didn't _precisely_ lie…'

'Don't!  Don't you dare try to wriggle out of this Severus.  You knew full well Remus wasn't gay, or at the very least that he wasn't involved with Sirius Black, and you deliberately led me to believe he was.  Honestly, what the hell were you thinking?'  She demanded fixing him with an accusing stare.

'If you _must_ know,' he bit out begrudgingly. 'I suppose I was thinking that it wouldn't hurt to thin out the competition, which, as far as I'm aware, isn't a hanging offence.' 

'What?  Even back then?'  Lois questioned, slightly surprised even though unacknowledged in the back of her mind, she had rather hoped that was the reason why.  

'Yes.'  He hissed, obviously hating having his emotions on display, before visibly calming to say placatingly.  'Look, there's really no need to be upset Achelois, I was simply trying to…' 

'Stack the odds in your favour?'  

'Well… yes.'  He admitted with chagrin. 'But none of that mattered ultimately anyway and I fail to see what will be achieved by dwelling on it now.  Water under the bridge.'  He said, attempting a casually dismissive wave, his eyes however were watchful and wary, cataloguing her every reaction

Viewing his discomfort Lois suddenly saw that slightly unhealthy though it was, and much as Hugo might disagree, these shows of possessiveness and jealousy in a man who was normally so unrelentingly reticent, gave her hope that it was in fact love he felt for her, even if he didn't use the words.  His sharply voiced, 'Well?' had her reigning in her drifting thoughts and refocusing on him as she realised he was still waiting for a response.

'What I don't understand is why you would even think he was interested in me anyway?'  She asked genuinely bewildered by the logic behind his reasoning.  Remus had never once indicated he saw her as anything other than a friend.

'Don't be ridiculous Lois, of course he would want you, he's a man isn't he?  He has eyes doesn't he?'  He barked impatiently and despite his unromantic tone, the words alone would probably have been enough to get him off the hook on the spot.  If he had stopped there that was.  Unfortunately he had more to say and when Severus Snape had more to say, he generally said it.  'And that's without the fact that you're the only woman under fifty in this godforsaken hellhole we're all condemned to for ten months of the year.  _Obviously_ he wouldn't have turned you down if you'd showed a speck of interest in him.'  

'Oh well that's charming isn't it!  So the only reason we're together is because you're trapped in a wasteland of female companionship and I'm _handy_?'

'That isn't what I meant; I was simply attempting to answer the question that _you_ asked.  It was _Lupin_ I was suggesting had indiscriminate tastes, not me.'  He said calmingly, aware his rash response was about to cause the argument to mutate into something far messier.  'In any event,' he hurried on, deciding a good offence might indeed be the best defence. 'I really don't see why you're making such a performance about this; what difference does it make?  You're with me now. Or is _that_ the problem?'  He said his voice suddenly harsh.  'That you _wouldn't_ be with me if you'd known there was a chance with Lupin?

'Of course not you idiot!'  Lois rebuked recognising the real concern behind his sudden belligerence. 'I _like_ Remus immensely but I'm not _attracted _to him, how could I be when you're all I've bloody thought about since practically the moment I met you!'  She held up a warning hand as some of the tension faded from his tautly held body, and a complacent smile began to edge its way across his lips.  'But that still doesn't make what you did okay, my _problem_ is that I don't like being manipulated.  Put yourself in my place Severus; how would you have felt if I'd done that to you?'  

As a matter of fact, he thought, he would be very happy indeed to discover she was insanely jealous of him, but he guessed that wasn't the answer she was looking for, so instead said as sincerely as he could.  'You're right, I shouldn't have lied to you; it was immature and wrong of me to try to influence your decision in that way.'  His eyes widened with dismay as an unpalatable thought suddenly occurred.  'Am I going to have to apologise to Lupin?'  

Lois considered drawing out his torment, but relented, he _had_ apologised, which was all she'd wanted, and quite nicely too.  'No.  I did go to Hogsmeade with him, but that was just to keep him out of your way.  I _should_ have told him though, it might have taught you a lesson.  No more lies.'  She said sternly pointing a warning finger at him.

'You have my word.'  He assured her, thinking for a guilty moment of Spinks who was still canvassing for information and Poppy who was continuing to watch her room, neither of which she knew about.  He pushed the guilt aside; it was for her own good after all.  Deciding a change of subject was needed and wishing for a more pleasant topic he reluctantly asked, 'So Black's turned up again has he?  Do you know why?'  

'To see Harry, oh and Dumbledore.'  She remembered.  Severus raised a questioning eyebrow and Lois shook her head.  'He said things were quiet and that he had some information, but I don't know any more than that I'm afraid. '  She said with an apologetic shrug.

'Damn, that must be why the Headmaster wanted to see me, I wonder if Black's gone yet.'  Snape muttered his face twisting with dislike.

'Probably not.'  Lois admitted.  'Harry was going to meet him in Dumbledore's office after school, so they're more than likely still there and what do you mean _wanted_ _to_ - haven't you been to see him yet?'  She asked surprised.  A summons from Dumbledore wasn't taken lightly by anyone.

'Actually I was rather more concerned with your mysterious disappearance.  I didn't give him second thought until just now.'  He confessed quietly, already halfway out the door and Lois grouchily forced back her burgeoning guilt, annoyed that he had somehow managed to leave _her _feeling childish and petty. 

***   

The meeting hadn't taken long and Severus was back in a surprisingly short amount of time, saying only, and with a definite air of superiority, that Black had had no information he wasn't already aware of.  Aware, or not, he was decidedly tense and grim faced on his return and Lois hadn't questioned him further, instead sending him off to soak his tensions away in a hot bath.  Despite his protests, she had refused to join him knowing full well that if she did, relaxing would be the very last thing on either of their minds.   

Once Severus was safely, although begrudging, ensconced in his solitary bath, Lois looked around the room for something to occupy her time until he finished.  Spying her wand on a side table, and remembering a lecture from Severus on proper wand care earlier in the week, she decided to try out the bottle of Linseed oil he had pointed out to her for just that purpose.  Ten minutes later she gave the soft rosewood wand one last polish, reluctantly impressed with the gleaming lustre she had achieved.  

Wondering whether there would be any improvement other than cosmetic, she raised the wand high in the air for an experimental wave.  She was immediately less impressed when the wand shot out of her grasp on the first downward stroke and promptly disappeared under the bed.  Grumbling she stooped next to the four-poster and blindly ran her fingers along the floor underneath it.  When they encountered nothing, she gingerly knelt down on the cold stone floor, twisting her head to one side and peering searchingly into the gloom, finally spotted her wand lying a frustrating distance away.  Not keen on the idea of lying flat out on the freezing ground, she instead tried ducking her shoulders under the high bed and flattening herself as much as possible on her bent knees.  Constricted in the awkward position, she tilted her head to see the wand now only a few tantalising inches out of reach.

'Stupid slippy wand.  What's the point of being a witch if I still have to crawl around on the floor?'  She muttered grumpily.

'Did you say something?'  Severus called from the bathroom.  'No just talking to myself!'  She shouted her voice muffled by the bed.

She waited for a second and when he made no reply, she bent back to her task her shoulders protesting as she tried to stretch the last few inches needed.  'Stupid…. Bloody…. Why can't I just… Accio wand!'  The wand flew across the floor at her impatient words straight into her outstretched hand.  Lois jerked up with a gasp, her head cracking sharply against the wooden beams of the bed above her. 

'Damn, damn, damn.'  She chanted quietly, eyes watering and stray tears spilling down her cheeks from the pain in her throbbing head, which she barely even noticed so panicked was she by what had just happened.  Did wands have a homing device?  Or was it…?

She shuffled awkwardly backwards until she was free of the confines of the bed and looked with distaste at the wand in her hands.  _Oh god, had it come back?  _Her heart thumped slowly with dread and she heaved herself onto the soft bed, sitting cross-legged in the centre, her wand lying on the covers in front of her.  _Check and see_, a little voice whispered in her head _and quickly before Severus comes out_.  She couldn't say precisely why, but she didn't want him to know if this… thing had returned, probably because of the relief he had been unable to hide at the failed feather experiment with Dumbledore.  

Anyway, she tried to assure herself, perhaps wands _did_ have a homing device and even if they didn't, Dumbledore himself had said it could have been caused by heightened emotions and she had been pretty annoyed just then.  He had also said that it would fade as her skills grew, so maybe this was just a last spurt before it disappeared altogether.  _So try it then,_ the annoying little voice whispered slyly, _try it if you're so sure._

She took in a gulping breath of calming air and stared intently at a book on the desk across the room.  Closing her eyes she took a second to focus her thoughts before shouting silently "Accio book!"   Feeling a shift in the air around her, she opened her eyes just in time to fling out a hand to grab the book, milliseconds before it hit her square in the face.

'What's wrong?' Severus asked making her practically jump out of her skin with shock.  She hadn't even heard the bathroom door opening.

'Nothing!'  She said quickly turning to look at him.  His hair was damp and he was wearing only a long green bathrobe, the colour so dark it appeared almost black under the flickering lamplight in the room.

'What's that?' 

'Nothing!  Oh, er, a book.'  Lois muttered feeling foolish as he stepped forward to take it from her limp grasp. He pulled a disparaging face as he read the title before dropping it back onto the bed next to her.

'Muggles.'  He snorted  'As if there aren't enough monsters in the real world without them making up more.  What were you doing?  Reading it and frightened yourself silly in the process?'  He mocked, but his eyes were watchful as they took in her pale face and wide eyes.

Seeing his concern Lois ordered herself firmly to get a grip, after all Dumbledore hadn't seemed excessively worried and no one knew more about magic than he did.  'No I wasn't actually.'  She managed to inform Snape haughtily, her panic retreating as she spoke.  'Thanks to your advice, my wand slid out of my hand and I banged my head on the bed trying to get it back.  It never did _that_ before I oiled it.  And on behalf of muggles everywhere, I resent your remarks.'  She said with a smile in her voice.  'It might not be one of those highbrow, impenetrable tomes you read and okay, perhaps this _isn't_ a prime example.'  She admitted indicating the trashy paperback with its gory cover.  'But muggles have been responsible for creating some amazing works of art.'

'I couldn't agree more, in fact your father's creation is worthy of particular note.'  He said his eyes gleaming hotly in his impassive face. 

'You old flatterer you!'  Lois smiled with delight.  His voice had been so expressionless it had taken a moment for the compliment to sink in.  _This,_ she thought with a surge of affection, was why she loved him.  The compliments might never flow as free and easy as they would with someone like Sirius Black, but that was what made them all the more valuable and precious to her; quality not quantity.

'Less of the old if you please!'  He huffed in an offended tone.

'Well Severus you _have_ got almost ten years on me and I have to confess, I've been a little worried lately about your keeping up with me, you know – in the bedroom department?'  She said her voice lowered confidingly on the last two words.

'Why you little…!   I'll have you know…' He began his black eyes flashing fire before he noticed the smile she was making no attempt to hide.  'I see.'  He said silkily.  'In that case, perhaps a small experiment is in order to see which one of us gets tired first?'  He suggested softly, a predatory gleam in his eyes now.

Lois shivered delicately at the promise in his voice, rising up on her knees to edge towards the end of the bed where he still stood.  Her arms looped loose around his waist, almost on eye level with him because of the height of the bed.  'I'm game if you are Severus, but are you quite sure you're up to this?'  She enquired solicitously, shrieking with startled laughter when he pushed her suddenly backwards onto the bed, prowling over her like a sleek jungle cat. 

'Perfectly sure.'  He purred his descending lips cutting off her soft sigh of delight.

***

So successful were Severus's methods of distraction, including at one point sharing a bath with him after all, that Lois had been able to push her worries over the wandless magic out of her head almost completely.  However, when four o'clock rolled around and she was still lying sleepless in his arms, she knew it was time to concede defeat.

'Severus, are you awake?'  She said in a rather loud whisper, knowing full well that he was not. 'Sev-er-us are you sleeping?'  She asked with an accompanying nudge.  He grunted softly only pulling her closer. 'Severus please wake up!' She gave in, struggling free of his arms to lean over him and shake him roughly by the shoulders.

'Wha… What d'you want?'  He mumbled sleepily opening his eyes for a second before closing them almost immediately.

'I can't sleep.  I need to talk to you.'

'Fine, you win.'  He groused, not opening his eyes.  'You have more stamina than me, now go to sleep Achelois and let an old man get his rest - it's the middle of the bloody night.'  

'I did magic again tonight without my wand.'  She said quietly.

He sat up with a jerk muttering a spell so that the room was illuminated suddenly, both of them blinking painful in the harsh light.

'What spell?'  He asked.

'When I lost my wand under the bed, I tried to reach it and when I couldn't I accidentally  "Accio-ed" it to me.'

'Oh is that all?'  He said on a release of breath, lying back down again.  'That's nothing.  Dumbledore told you we're all capable of basic wandless magic and retrieving your own wand from a short distance is probably one of the easiest spells there is.'

'I thought of that.'  Lois said still sitting tensely by his side. 'But to be sure I tried something else without my wand.  And without words.'

'What?'

'I called that book you saw.  I'd just done it when you came out of the bathroom.'

'Why didn't you tell me?'  He asked angrily sitting up again.

'I don't know.'  Lois admitted miserably.  'I was scared and I thought…. Oh I don't know what I thought. What am I going to do?'

'Is it still working?' 

'No, I tried before I woke you up – nothing again.'  She said her face pale and suddenly very young looking.  

He sighed heavily. 'It's still probably nothing, or at least no more than what the Headmaster already suspected.  You were frustrated I take it when you couldn't reach your wand?'

'I certainly was.'

'And did you really hit your head?'  He asked his tone darkening, plainly still annoyed she hadn't confided in him immediately.

'Yes I really did.'  Lois said quickly.

'Well there you go, extreme emotions – anger, frustration, pain, fear.  If Dumbledore is right in his hypothesis that emotions trigger your ability, that would all add up and if as he said it will cease occurring with time, that would explain why it only happens intermittently.'

'Do you think so?'  Lois asked already feeling much better, despite the fact he had only confirmed what she had already been thinking and kicking herself for not telling him immediately.

'I'm almost positive.'  He assured pulling her back down to lie next to him and drawing her close.

Lois settled her head against his chest with a happy sigh snuggling against him.  'Thanks Severus.'  She murmured totally exhausted. 'I don't know why I panicked.'

'Go to sleep.'  He replied and listened to her breathing slow and even out as she did so, staring into the darkness for a long time afterwards until his own exhaustion finally caught up with him sometime just before dawn.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**   Summersun – Well a big part of the reason is because it would muck up the plot if he did **: )**, but just as importantly Snape - I've always thought – wouldn't actually even like _himself _very much, let alone love himself.  Now that being the case, it would take a _lot_ of convincing before he would believe that someone could love him in return hence his hesitation and doubt, but as you'll see from this chapter, he's getting there.  

Squirrel thanks and sorry, but yes, you're right, the story _is_ nearly finished.  Two more chapters, maybe three I'm thinking and then that's me done.  I'm not sure yet whether _I'm_ happy or sad about that.  Happy I think, well I'll see soon enough I suppose **:)**

Finally thank you all as always for your reviews and I'm sorry this chapter was so long, I don't know what happened. I'll make a concerted effort from now on to keep them to a more reasonable length!


	23. A Picture Tells a Thousand Words

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Lois sat cosily on one of the comfy staff room chairs, listening contentedly to the rain drumming noisily against the windows while she was snug and warm by a roaring fire.  A few members of staff who were between classes were dotted about the room, also looking sleepily content.  It felt safe and strangely comforting sitting here with the soft murmur of voices and the quiet sound of quills scratching on parchment as homework was marked; it made her feel as though she was part of a family again.  Looking absently at her watch Los gave a slight groan as she saw the time; she was running late for her Potions lesson with Severus she realised, hurriedly closing the book she had been making notes from and standing up.

'Are you off Lois?'  Elena Roupe asked taking a sip of her tea.

'Fraid so,' she said with a tired smile. 'You know what they say - no rest for the wicked.' 

'Tell me about it,' Roupe commiserated, holding a large handkerchief to her nose and blowing noisily.  'Lois, while you're up would you be a dear and see if I left my cloak in the wardrobe?' she asked giving a slight shiver, 'I think I may be coming down with a cold,' she explained as Lois gave her a concerned look.

'Sure,' she agreed already walking towards the cupboard.  

'Lois, NO!'  Remus Lupin's shout came a second too late and Lois stumbled back in horror as her nightmare zombie toppled fully formed out of the wardrobe door in front of her.  Even knowing immediately what it was, Lois's heart thundered heavily in her breast as terror froze her breath in her throat.  With one move she staggered backwards, instinctively flinging her left arm over her eyes to block the horrific sight, her other hand whipping out to point towards the Boggart as she shouted, 'Riddiculus!' in a panicked tone.

The creature fell back with a loud crack and Remus, the only person other than Lois not frozen in place by the suddenness of it all, continued his dash towards her from the other end of the room.  Unfortunately her own backwards momentum and lack of vision caused them to crash into each other at speed, sending them both tumbling heavily to the ground.  She landed on top of Remus with a soft huff of surprise, guiltily grateful to him for inadvertently cushioning her fall onto the hard floor.  Risking removing her hand from her eyes Lois looked up into the circle of shocked faces now encircling the tangled couple on the staff room floor.   

'Lois, I'm so sorry!' Elena was saying quickly, her eyes filled with apology.  'You two all right down there?'  Moody barked bending down to pull Lois to her feet, Hugo Quade doing the same for Remus who seemed to be having difficulty in getting his breath back.

'I'm fine,' Lois said hastily, noticing Filius using his wand to urge the Boggart back into the wardrobe, which had now taken the shape of what looked remarkably like one of the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz.  She turned dazedly away from the curious sight reaching out an apologetic hand towards the gasping DADA professor. 'Oh Remus I'm sorry!  Did I hurt you?' she asked worriedly.

'You might be a tiny thing Lois,' Lupin said with a wan smile, 'but you have very sharp elbows,' he said his hand pressed to his ribs, a pained expression on his face.  

'Come on, I'm taking you to the Infirmary,' Lois ordered her training automatically taking over.  'Can you make it on your own, or should I conjure you a stretcher?' she asked oblivious to everything but her patient now.

'Lois, I'm fine,' Remus said trying to brush it off.  'You just knocked the wind out of me for a second, that's all,' he insisted his colour slowly beginning to return.

'Nevertheless, I'll feel better once Poppy's checked you out,' Lois said determinedly already guiding him from the room.

'Er, Lois,' Remus murmured hesitantly as they walked slowly towards the hospital wing, 'do you realise that you didn't have your wand out when you banished that Boggart?'

'I didn't?'  Lois asked slowly only now realising that her hands were empty as her adrenaline levels dropped allowing rational thought to return.  Damn it to hell, why was this happening to her?  She felt a sudden desperate yearning for the time when her biggest worry was the possibility that she might have inherited her family's empathic healing skills.  In comparison to this, that suddenly didn't seem so bad anymore.  At least being empathic didn't make her some sort of dangerous oddity, it simply made her an Eadon and no one was surprised or wary about their particular abilities, nor would a display of them have resulted in the exceedingly curious look Remus was directing at her now.  

What was even more disturbing about the accident in the staff room was the fact that Dumbledore still had no answers for her.  After the incident in Severus's bedroom three nights ago, they had both awoken very late the following morning.  So late in fact that they had missed breakfast altogether, although truthfully neither of them had been particularly hungry, which was lucky because despite his reassurances the previous night, Severus had had her washed and dressed and on the way to the Headmaster's office before she was even fully awake.  Unfortunately, as before, she had been unable to recreate the wandless magic in Dumbledore's presence and they had all been left feeling highly frustrated and in Lois's case, just plain scared by the lack of progress.  The elderly Professor had promised to double his research efforts and urged her again not to worry, but how could she not if it kept happening?  

'So how did you do that?' Remus asked carefully, jolting her back to the present.

'Mmm, don't know,' Lois mumbled.  'Professor Dumbledore's looking into it for me,' she said in a tone of voice that encouraged no further questions, 'but until we know precisely what's going on, I'd appreciate it if you could not mention it to anyone just at the moment.'

'Okay, no problem,' he said easily obviously picking up on her reluctance to discuss it. 'And I doubt any of the others would have seen anyway.  I only noticed myself because I had a front seat view, as it were.' Remus teased in attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere.

'I really _am_ sorry,' Lois said again, filled with remorse once more.  The full moon had been just under a week ago and Remus still wasn't completely up to par yet.  Her guilt eased a little as she suddenly remembered his warning shout just before she had opened the door; he'd obviously known the Boggart was in there so at least some of the blame lay with him.  'But what on earth was that thing doing in the wardrobe anyway?  I tell you, it's a damn good job you talked me into that lesson on them, or I think I might have dropped dead from a heart attack when it lurched out at me.'

'Ah, now it's my turn to apologise,' Remus said with a wince.  'I'd just moved it from my office for a class this afternoon because there's more space to manoeuvre in the Staff Room.  I meant to put a note on the wardrobe door after I finally managed to get it rammed in there, but I'm afraid I forgot,' he admitted guiltily.

'It's okay I forgive you.  I got you back anyway didn't I?' she managed to ask lightly, her worry making it very difficult to concentrate on responding normally.

He gave a half laugh, stopping abruptly as it caused him pain.  'That'll teach me,' he said with a wry smile.

They made the rest of the trip in silence and on reaching the Infirmary Lois quickly left Remus with Poppy, her rising panic levels making her unable to wait any longer to speak to Severus about what had happened.  Unfortunately her journey to the dungeon was halted when she came across Elena Roupe at the end of the corridor.  Much as she didn't want to stop and chat, she was prevented from continuing on with just a smile when Elena gave a relieved sigh and made a beeline for her.

'Ah, Lois, good you are okay?  I wanted to tell you again how sorry I am about your accident with the Boggart.  I cannot believe I forgot it was there,' she said with annoyance her voice gruffer than usual.

'Elena, honestly, don't worry.  The Boggart was good practice and as for the fall, it was poor Remus who took the brunt of it, I won't even have a bruise,' Lois assured, about to make her excuses and be on her way, when she noticed the dark flush on the other woman's cheeks.

'Are _you_ okay Elena,' she said eyeing her with concern.  'You really don't look well at all.  Do you want me to get you some Pepperup Potion now that you're here?'  The DADA professor quickly opened her mouth to reply, but was prevented from doing so by a bout of painful sounding coughing which racked her large frame.

'No, there is no need,' Roupe said in a hoarse voice when she finally gained control of herself once more.  'I prefer not to take medicines unless absolutely essentially – it makes the body weak.  This will pass,' she said waving a vague hand towards her head and body, which started her off coughing again.

'Elena are you sure you wouldn't like me to check you over?'  Lois asked worriedly looking into the other woman's eyes, which were glittering with fever.

'No!  That is not necessary I assure you,' she insisted quickly backing sharply away as Lois moved towards her, her arm outstretched ready to place an assessing hand on her forehead.

'Okay,' Lois said slowly, slightly hurt by Roupe's obvious doubt in her capabilities, but not wanting to make an issue of it.  The important thing was that Elena got treatment if she needed it.  'Well if you change your mind, make sure you see Poppy okay?  There's no shame in falling ill.  Now, I'm afraid I've really got to get going Elena.  I'm in a bit of a rush actually,' she said a slight frown appearing as she remembered why she had been hurrying.

'Oh, of course, don't let me delay you and thank you Lois for your concern, but I am fine, truly,' Elena said apologetically obviously misreading the reason for her frown.  'By the way,' she said as the two women separated at the staircase, 'although I regret being the cause of it, that was a very impressive piece of magic back there.  Keep up the good work!'

Lois smiled her thanks for the compliment, her air of gloom immediately returning as she began her descent down the stone steps to the dungeon.  

***

Severus sat in his empty classroom examining the small box sitting open on his desk.  The single diamond surrounded by a circle of glowing Slytherin green emeralds sparkled brightly even in the darkness of the dungeon.  His grandmother's engagement ring – probably the only relative he had fond memories off – retrieved from Grinogotts just this morning and awaiting a willing finger to place it on, namely Lois's.  

_Merlin's beard,_ _this was it - he, Severus Snape, was going to propose._  He sucked in a deep gulp of air in an attempt to combat the rising nausea that image caused and closed the ring box with a sharp snap, utterly disgusted by the cold terror flooding his body.  This was worse than a bloody summons from Voldemort!  With a deep sigh he pinched the bridge of his nose and wished with sudden longing for the good old days when you could simply go out and buy yourself a wife - providing you had enough gold and livestock that was.  If he had been living back in those times he could have just handed over three oxen, maybe a couple of hens and a large sack of money to her father and been setting off on his honeymoon before Lois knew what had hit her.  Nothing that easy now of course, now it took a lot more than wealth and a mercenary father-in-law to procure a wife.  Now he actually had to _involve_ Lois in the decision making process and therein lay the problem. 

_What if she says no?_ A treacherous little voice whispered for what seemed like the millionth time.  He tried his best to ignore it, but the question was a valid one and not easily dismissed.  Quite apart from the crushing disappointment such a response would cause, there were other, deeply worrying, repercussions connected to a refusal.  Would it mean an automatic end to their time together?  Did a no equal immediate severing of all romantic ties, or was there the option to continue on as they had before, simply never speaking of the humiliating incident again?  Damn it, why weren't there universally agreed rules about this type of thing?  Some kind of instruction book that clearly outlined the protocols of a suitor's allowed actions following refusal of a marriage proposal.  If the author had an ounce of compassion, Oblivate would surely be listed as a perfectly acceptable first response, followed swiftly by the administration of a particularly potent Love Potion, or maybe even use of the Imperius curse if things were looking_ exceptionally_ grim.

_Enough! _ He ordered himself firmly as the panic really began to take hold; she wasn't _going_ to say no, not if his research was right, which it always was.  He had spent the last few days carefully studying Lois's every reaction to him and replaying their entire relationship over and over in his head.  After taking into account pretty much everything she had ever said or done, he had come to conclusion that unlikely though it was, all of the evidence pointed to the fact that she really _did_ love him.  Better still, Lois being Lois, he was equally sure that for her love and marriage went hand in hand, so realistically the likelihood of her turning him down was slim.  His churning stomach began to thankfully settle as his confidence grew.  He would take her out tonight to eat in Hogsmeade and at the end of the meal he would propose and she would say yes.  There was absolutely nothing to worry about.  

_But what if she says no?_

The hideous spiral of doubt was about to start all over again when a quick rap on the door had him hastily returning the box to his robe pocket, very glad that he had when Lois entered almost immediately.  

'You're late,' he informed her coolly, truthfully not knowing whether she was or not, and saying it only to give himself time to regain control of his wayward emotions.  Right now he wasn't too far off placing an Irremovable Charm on the ring and forcing it onto her finger.  It would certainly be a lot easier on his nerves than the more traditional approach was proving to be.  

'Sorry,' Lois said glumly walking towards him.  'I had a bit of an accident in the staff room and it put me behind.'

'Were you hurt?' he asked sharply, his glance quickly roving over her and all thoughts of romantic dinners flying clear out of his head.

'No, not me,' she said hurriedly, 'I opened the stupid wardrobe door where Remus was storing a Boggart for his classes and didn't know it was there.  When it jumped out at me I panicked and flattened him in the rush to flee,' she confessed still slightly embarrassed over her cowardice.  

'Was _he_ hurt?' he asked in a voice which plainly said he hoped he was.

'Sorry - nothing serious,' she mocked before her expression drooped once more.  'There was something else though,' she admitted miserably.

'Well?' he prompted when she didn't immediately continue. 

'I banished the Boggart without my wand,' she said almost in a whisper, before her eyes lifted to his, panic clearly shining in their depths.  'Dumbledore said this would fade Severus, but it doesn't seem to be getting any weaker and now I'm really starting to get scared.  What if I accidentally hurt someone?  What if… what if I transfigure you into an ant in my sleep?  I could roll over and squash you and no one would ever know what had happened!  Perhaps I should stay in my own rooms until we figure out what this is,' she offered mournfully. 'At least when I'm awake I have some control over my thoughts.' 

'Wait a moment - do you even know _how_ to transfigure someone into an ant?'  Severus asked promptly, rolling his eyes in exasperation when she shook her head no.  'Well then thank you for the very generous offer, but I believe I will continue to take my chances - for the moment the benefits seem to outweigh the risks by a not inconsiderable amount,' he said sardonically and the comforting familiarity of his gentle mockery soothed her panic far better than hours worth of reassurance would have from anyone else.  'I am positive we will find an answer to this, it's simply taking more time than we initially imagined,' he assured matter of factly, 'and until then, all we can do is wait and keep Dumbledore informed.'

'Now?' she asked half hoping to put if off.

'I see no reason to delay,' he said standing and heading for the door, turning when he reached it to give her an impatient look.  'Well – are you coming?'

She nodded walking reluctantly to his side and gave a soft sigh of pleasure when he pulled her to his side for a quick hug before opening the classroom door.  The journey to Dumbledore's office was carried out in silence until they reached the stone gargoyle.  'Jelly Babies,' Snape said in a disgusted tone shaking his head as the large statue swung open.  

'Enter,' Dumbledore called from his room at their knock and Snape pushed the door open allowing Lois to precede him inside.  Unfortunately the Headmaster was not alone.  Snape and Alastor Moody, who was sitting in a chair by Dumbledore's desk, exchanged dark looks.

'Headmaster, I'm sorry I can see you're busy.  We'll come back later,' Snape said distantly already grabbing Lois's elbow to hurry her from the room.

'No need Severus, Lois,' Dumbledore assured him amiably walking towards them.  'I believe we are all here for the same reason after all,' he said with a small smile, successfully detaching Lois from Snape and guiding her to a chair next to Moody.  She gave the Dark Arts professor a cool nod in greeting as she sank cautiously down beside him.

'The same reason?' Snape questioned sharply moving to stand at Lois's side and ignoring the chair Dumbledore produced for him, a sour expression on his face.

'Indeed Severus,' Dumbledore said calmly before turning his attention towards Lois.  'I understand you had another episode today Lois?' he asked quietly.

'Oh, yes I… did,' she admitted with a startled glance at Moody who had obviously delivered the news.  'Although at the time I was so scared I didn't even realise I hadn't used my wand until Remus pointed it out later,' she confessed.  'I had _hoped_, as we'd discussed Professor, that it would be gone by now, or at least be weaker.'  

'Mmm,' the Headmaster said thoughtfully, 'I must confess, I too hoped that your… ability would have burnt itself out by now.  As it hasn't, I think it's time we had some outside assistance, hence Alastor's presence.'

'I'd be interested to see another example,' Moody suddenly said into the awkward silence that had fallen; neither Snape nor Lois particularly relishing input from the ex-Auror. 

'If you were in the staff room today you will have already seen it Moody.' Snape answered in a hard voice.

'It's okay Severus, I don't mind,' Lois said quickly.  'Quite frankly I'd give a demonstration naked on live TV singing, "I'm just a girl who can't say no," at this point if it would help give us some idea what's going on.'

'I don't think that will be necessary _quite_ yet,' Dumbledore twinkled.  'Perhaps if you could start off by telling us what exactly happened today?'   

'Well, I accidentally opened the wardrobe that had a Boggart in it.  I'd been studying them with Remus recently so I just automatically shouted "Riddiculus" and held my hand out, but I didn't have my wand in it.'

'And you say it would have worked if she hadn't used the spell Albus?' Moody questioned, obviously deciding to bypass both Lois and Snape for information.

'It always has previously, so I can only assume it would have done in this instance too,' Dumbledore replied.  'Is it still working now Lois?' he asked and out the corner of her eye she saw Severus's head whip round to face her as he realised he hadn't thought to ask that himself.

'Yes,' Lois admitted reluctantly.  'Or at least it was on the way down to the dungeons.'  She cringed as she felt the sharpening of three pairs of eyes upon her.

Dumbledore rubbed his hands together with enthusiasm, lowering them with an apologetic grimace when Lois gaped at him dumfounded.  'Ah, yes, I'm sorry Lois I don't mean to seem insensitive.  I do realise how much this upsets you, but I can't deny that I'm keen to _see_ your ability in action as it were, not purely out of curiosity, but because more importantly it might help us discover how you are able to do this.'  Lois heaved a deep sigh but nodded her agreement. 'Excellent!  Now, I think perhaps we should try a more delicate piece of magic than banishing a Bogart this time - that way we can ascertain your level of control.  We'll also be able to see whether extreme emotions are the only thing powering the skill now that you're calm – or rather _calmer,_' he amended when both Severus and Lois's eyebrows shot up.  'Let's see, why don't you try levitating this tea cup?' he suggested pointing to the china cup and saucer on his desk.

'Okay,' she agreed taking a steadying breath, her heart beginning to race uncomfortably.  When she had her choppy breathing under slightly better control, she focussed on the cup saying the spell clearly in her head.  To her horror, and Moody and Dumbledore's delight, the cup rose easily into the air, smooth and slow, without a single drop of tea being spilled.

'Very good,' Dumbledore said guarded excitement in his voice.  'You can lower it now.'

Lois concentrated again and the teacup floated safety back to the table.

'Amazing,' Moody breathed, staring at Lois with an almost greedy look in his eyes.  'Try something else,' he demanded and Lois placed a hand on Severus's arm as she felt him stiffen protectively beside her.

Noting her move Dumbledore spoke quickly, obviously hoping to avoid a clash between the two Professors.  'Why don't we see if distance has any effect shall we?' he said into the tense silence, standing up to move a large book from the desk and carrying it into the room next door.  'Lois, could you see if you can retrieve it now?' he asked when he returned.

Within seconds the book was flying through the open door screeching to a halt next to her.

'Apparently distance is _not_ a problem,' he said softly.

Although she was trying not to let it show, especially with Moody watching her so avidly, Lois was beginning to feel very panicky indeed.  She was already worried about inadvertently causing an accident while she was waiting for this skill to disappear and now it looked as though it may not go away at all!  Her hands twisted nervously in her lap, the rough action pulling her ring from her finger and sending it rolling across the carpet.  She moved to stand, but before she could, she felt a weight on her shoulder as Severus pushed her back into place, indicating he would retrieve it for her.  His hand lingered possessively for a moment on her shoulder squeezing gently, an action that the other two wizards in the room noticed with very differing emotions. 

'Lois, I don't want you to worry about this,' Dumbledore said comfortingly as Severus moved away, her agitation plain to see, 'it is simply something we have yet to understand.  Magic comes in many forms and all of us that possess it have the capacity to cause terrible harm, but it is only truly dangerous when the witch or wizard wielding the power allows it to be.  I am still convinced that your new ability can be harnessed, but even if it cannot, I have absolute trust in your integrity and judgement.'

'Thank you,' she said sincerely touched by his faith in her, but not feeling a whole lot better.  For once even his quiet confidence couldn't soothe the ragged edges of her fear.  

'Do you feel up to trying something else?  Perhaps lighting a fire in the hearth?' he questioned, eyeing her assessingly.  'I really would like to explore your ability while we have the opportunity.'

Lois bit back the instinctive refusal and shifted her gaze to Severus who had remained on the other side of Dumbledore, to find him watching her intently.  Although his expression didn't change, she knew him well enough to recognise the banked concern that gleamed in his eyes.  His silent support seemed to steady her and it was with renewed strength that she turned and concentrated on the fire as she had with the cup.  This time however, despite the spell being easier, nothing happened.  She blinked in surprise looking over at Dumbledore.  'It didn't work,' she said in a startled tone.

He tilted his head to one side.  'Could you try again?' he asked.

She concentrated all her energy on the fireplace, and managed not even a spark.  'Perhaps it _will_ just disappear with time,' she said in a pleased tone, slightly reassured that the ability at least appeared to still have limits.

'Perhaps,' Dumbledore said thoughtfully, 'but I would prefer if we had a more definite explanation for why it is happening at all.'  

In the pause after the Headmaster's words, Snape moved back towards her and handed her the ring, which slipped onto her finger.  Dumbledore's gaze narrowed on her hand for a second before he looked back up.  'Lois, forgive me please,' he smiled, 'one last attempt at the fire?'  

She nodded slowly, cowardly preferring to let sleeping dogs, but she obligingly gritted her teeth and silently said the spell once more.  To her horror, the second she thought, "Incendio" the flames roared spectacularly into life in the fireplace.

'Damn!' she hissed feeling even more annoyed when Dumbledore suddenly beamed.  

'Lois may I ask where did you get that ring?' he questioned, his smile still in place.

'Oh, I found it in with my mother's belongings,' she replied confused.  'I assumed it was her wedding ring; it has my parents initials on it.'

'I see.'  Dumbledore smiled again. 'Would you mind if I had a look at it?'

She handed the ring over to him curiously and watched as he examined it closely, twisting the inner ring, his eyes softening as he read the inscription before handing it back.  'Try lifting the teacup again,' he said, 'but don't put the ring on this time.'

'You think it's the ring?' Lois questioned excitedly, her forlorn expression disappearing in an instant as she twisted to glance hopefully at Snape, who was also sitting straighter in his chair, a watchful gleam in his dark eyes.  _Please let it be the ring_, she prayed turning back to the Headmaster.

'We shall see.'  Dumbledore smiled, his blue eyes serene.

Lois placed the ring carefully on the desk edge and concentrated on the cup.  Nothing.  She jammed the ring quickly back onto her finger and concentrated again.  Perhaps a little too hard she realised with a quick, 'Sorry!' as the teacup smashed into the ceiling at high speed splattering everyone below with cold tea.

'It _must_ be the ring,' she said feeling almost sick with relief, swiping a hand distractedly across her face to mop up the tea that was trickling down her forehead.   'That's why it didn't work that morning with you Professor – it was with the rest of my jewellery at the Three Broomsticks; I didn't get it back until after breakfast.'

'What about the other night?' Severus questioned sharply. 'If the ring is causing this, why didn't it work when you told me about it?'

'Well by the time I woke you up,' she said attempting to keep her voice lowered, but knowing it would be no use within the close confines of the office, 'I'd already taken all my jewellery off.  After the bath?' she muttered quieter still, as both Moody and Dumbledore looked on with undisguised interest. 'And the next morning you barely gave me time to get dressed before dragging me off to see Professor Dumbledore. I was lucky to be wearing shoes, let alone anything none essential!'   

'Still,' Moody butted in, a malicious smile betraying his pleasure in Snape's obvious discomfort over the unexpected airing of their personal life, 'that doesn't explain why it hasn't happened more often.'  

'Yes it does!'  Lois insisted, utterly delighted by this answer to her ability and not about to see it slip out of her hands.  'I don't wear it all the time, and I haven't exactly been going around _trying _to do wandless magic, as a matter of fact I've done my level best to pretend it never happened at all!  No this has to be why!' she said turning back towards Dumbledore beseechingly.  'What do you think Professor?'

'I'm inclined to agree with you Lois; this does make the most sense.  And if indeed it _is_ the ring that has been causing these incidents, then it really is the most amazing piece of equipment,' he said consideringly reaching over to pluck the plain gold band from the desk where Lois had hurriedly placed it after the teacup incident.  'Do you know where it came from?'  

'Originally?  No,' Lois said with a shake of her head. 'As I said it was just there in with the rest of her jewellery and I thought it was unusual.  Plus I liked the fact that it belonged to my mom and she would have worn it too.  I never really _had_ much to remind me of her growing up.  I suppose my dad didn't want to risk letting me have any of her stuff because he was worried it might have been bewitched,' she hurried to add, not wanting anyone to think she was criticising him.  

'Can I see it?'  Moody asked into the silence, his magical eye fixed hawk-like on the ring. Dumbledore held out his hand palm up and Moody practically snatched the tiny object from him, immediately letting out an annoyed snort when he was unable to get the small circle past even the top of his little finger.  'What do you reckon Albus?' he asked looking over at the old wizard. 'Think an enlarging spell will damage it?'

'I shrunk it,' Lois admitted.  'It was too big for me so Filius taught me a charm to reduce the size - it doesn't seem to have done it any harm,' she pointed out with a shrug.

Moody pulled his wand from his robe sleeve and within seconds the ring was large enough for him.  Lois watched amused as he slipped it on and scrunched his eyes tight shut like a child making a wish before blowing out his birthday candles.  After a moment his eyes cranked back open and he looked disappointed at the bookcase.  

'What were you attempting to do Alastor?'  Dumbledore questioned his eyes twinkling at the Aurors obvious disgruntlement. 

'Just a summoning spell for a book,' Moody said in a disappointed tone, turning to face the fireplace and apparently trying again, although this time he didn't close his eyes Lois noticed.  He had slightly better luck with his second attempt, very small flames flickering in the grate before almost instantly extinguishing.  He pulled the ring off his finger and passed it to the Headmaster with displeasure.  'Give it a try Albus,' he grunted.  'Won't do much for me.'

Dumbledore placed the ring carefully on his index finger and stared over at the cup he had already repaired after Lois's accident.  It rose slightly from the desktop, with none of the smooth grace of Lois's attempt, rocking alarmingly before slamming back down with a crash.  With a quiet, 'Oh dear,' the ring was handed solemnly to Severus who, like Moody, was able to manage only a feeble flicker from the fireplace and nothing more.  'Well, it doesn't appear to work too well for any of us,' Dumbledore said thoughtfully.  'You've been able to use your mother's wand since you came here haven't you Lois?' he questioned bushy white eyebrows raised.

'Yes, it's always worked fine for me so Poppy said there was no point in replacing it,' Lois said managing to hide her surprise – this wasn't the first time the Headmaster has startled her with his unexpected knowledge of even the most insignificant of matters within the school.  

'Hmm.  Well, although I can't be certain until we've carried out more research, I would say the most likely explanation seems to be that the ring works in the same way as a wand, but in an amplified manner.'  Dumbledore concluded. 'Wizards can use any wand, but the results vary greatly.  By the look of it, this ring takes it a step further; my guess would be that it has been aligned for Eadon blood lines only – a safety catch if you will.'

Lois tried to appear both astounded and intrigued by what Dumbledore was saying, which wasn't hard because she was feeling both of those emotions.  However, her curiosity was utterly eclipsed by the explosion of joy that had taken place now that it seemed almost definite that _she_ wasn't causing the magic, or at least not without help.  As long as she never wore the ring again, which unsurprisingly she had no intention of doing, she couldn't accidentally cause anyone harm. 

'But where did it come from?' she heard Snape ask suddenly, apparently happy to go along with Dumbledore's theory as to _how _it worked.  'If someone had the skill to make such an item in the first place why is this the first we've heard about it?' 

'Well as I told Lois before, her grandfather worked in the Department of Mysteries.  I can only imagine it was something he developed there.  Perhaps your mother was helping him test it, or perhaps he was worried about her safety because of her work and Voldemort's rise,' he theorised with a slight lifting of his shoulders.  'As to why we have never seen another, I'm afraid I have no idea,' he admitted his brow creased with contemplation. 

'I have,' Moody interjected cynically.  'It would be just like those damn idiots to develop something as powerful as this and then keep it a secret.  Magic like that could have really put us over the edge fighting Voldemort and we find out about it years later by accident!  There's probably hundreds of them sittin' in a locked Ministry lab somewhere gathering dust!'

'It might not have had anything to do with the Ministry,' Lois said fairly, finding it difficult to believe they could be _that _incompetent, despite the many complaints she had heard about Fudge.  'Maybe my grandfather made it himself and then died before he was able to tell anyone about it.'

'Possible,' Moody conceded in a hard voice.  'Conall didn't trust those buffoons he worked with in the DoM any more than I did; arrogant fools always thinking they're above everyone else,' he muttered disparagingly.  'Spend so much time being secretive _they_ probably don't know what they've got half the bloody time!'

'Couldn't you ask them Professor Moody?'  Lois asked reasonably.  'You used to work for the Ministry, once you show them what we've found they might be able to make more, or if you're right, they might already have some developed.'

'What?  I'm not telling them nothing!  If they knew we had something like this they'd commandeer it like a shot.  No, no, there's some people I can ask outside of the Ministry and Fudge's influence,' he said with a meaningful look at Dumbledore.  'If we can figure out how this works, we might be able to start producing them in bulk.  Oh…ah, would it be all right if I kept the ring for a while?' he asked with sudden diffidence as he glanced over at Lois.

'Certainly,' she said promptly, mostly because she realised how important a weapon like this could be in the war against Voldemort, but also because she was highly relieved to have such a powerful piece of magic out of her hands. 'But if it's possible, I'd appreciate it if I could have it back when you're finished with it,' she said quietly not really wanting to lose it altogether, even if she wouldn't ever risk wearing it again.  'Of course if you could take the magic out if before you do, that would be even better!' she said with a wry smile, forgetting for a second in her bubbling relief that she didn't actually like Moody very much.

'You're a good girl Lois,' the old Auror said gruffly standing to pat her shoulder roughly, apparently surprised by her easy acquiescence.  Lois exchanged a quick look with Severus who seemed equally taken aback at the sudden softening in Moody's attitude.

'Umm, you're welcome,' she said awkwardly, looking back at him to find him still staring at her, a pensive expression on his grizzled feature.

'Actually I've been meaning to tell you… talk to you, for a while Lois,' he said, stopping abruptly and shooting an aggrieved glance at Snape, obviously displeased with his presence.  For her part, Lois was exceedingly grateful that both Dumbledore and Severus's were in the room - Moody had been cold and distant with her since their first meeting and although she didn't like to admit it, she was still very uncomfortable around him.  She guessed he must have read at least some of that in her expression, because he made no attempt to ask to speak to her in private.  He did however, glare with extreme dislike at Snape who raised his eyebrows mockingly before making a production of settling himself comfortably on his chair and stretching his long legs out in front of him, obviously ready to enjoy the show.  With an annoyed grunt Moody turned dismissively away from the younger man, plainly deciding to pretend he didn't exist and focussing on Lois once more.

'You'll have read the story that scurrilous hack wrote about you and your family?' he asked his lips pursing with disgust, but not waiting for her to answer.  'It wasn't true what she said about your granddad - if you were worried?' he said fixing her with a hard stare as if daring her to dispute him.  'I saw him myself – _afterwards_ and it was one of the Unforgivables that got him, no way he could have done that to himself.  No way he _would_ have done that to himself,' he muttered under his breath.

'I didn't think he had,' Lois assured him surprised by his vehemence and wondering why he was telling her this in the first place.  'Professor Dumbledore had already told me what had happened, so I assumed it was just a journalist trying to spice up an old story with a bit of innuendo.'  

Moody gave a quick nod.  'Good, good.'  His face twitched slightly as he fell silent watching her intently for a moment before his gaze dropped from hers.  She assumed the odd conversation was over and was just about to rise from her chair when he spoke again, his expression tight, the words sounding as though they were dragged from him.  'He never forgave me, Conall, for your mom and uncle, and I don't expect you to either,' he interrupted himself to say quickly, raising gnarled hands in the air, 'but I _swear_ to you, the area was clear when we left.  I honestly didn't think there was any chance they'd return.  I should have done,' he said with bitter self-disgust.

'Alastor, you can't…' Dumbledore tried to interrupt, but Moody shook his head violently and the Headmaster silenced allowing him to continue.

'Back then you see, the war had only really just begun and Voldemort had his troops far better prepared than ours.  The Ministry was recruiting and training Aurors and Hit Wizards as fast as they could, but it had been a long time since they'd needed them and we weren't as…ready as we could have been.  By the time of the Monkswood raid, we were stretched to breaking point.  The attacks never seemed to let up; day, night, Muggles, wizards; they just kept coming and coming.'  His face was grim as he remembered that time, but with an impatient huffing sound he schooled his features into blankness before meeting her rapt gaze once more.  'But it wasn't carelessness Lois, us going, we didn't have any choice.  We'd been called to another raid and there just wasn't enough of us to spare anyone to stay behind.  And anyway, the mediwizards had it under control, truthfully there wasn't a hell of a lot more we could do.  Now like I said, I'm not tellin' you this expecting forgiveness,' he said sharply, 'and I know it means less than nothing now, but I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry.  I should've told you that right off.  You had to grow up without your mother and your uncle, never knowin' you was a witch and that's my fault,' he said his voice laden with regret and his head bowed obviously expecting to be rebuffed, but grimly determined to apologise anyway.

Looking at the normally straight and proud man and seeing the tormented expression on his harsh features, Lois felt a stab of pity that she could not ignore.  'Well I'm not my grandfather Professor Moody,' she said quietly, 'but if it helps I've never held you responsible,' she said honestly realising now that his guilt over her mother's death was the reason for his unfriendly attitude, interspersed with surprising bouts of concern over her relationship with Snape.  She should have spoken with him about it as soon as she read that stupid story in the Daily Prophet instead of cowardly avoiding him; it would have spared them this.  

'You haven't?' he asked with disbelief, his head shooting up to search her eyes, a look of relief spreading over his battered face as he accepted the truth of her words.  'You didn't inherit your granddad's temperament that's for sure,' he said with a gruff bark of laughter.

'So the two of you were friends?'  Lois asked curious now.

'Best friends; practically grew up together we even got sorted into the same House,' he said with a half smile.  'Both went into the Ministry when we left Hogwarts – different departments of course, and I was best man at his wedding.  He was a good man Conall, but hard,' he shook his head with regret.  'Never spoke another word to me after….' 

'I'm sure he would have forgiven you eventually Professor,' Lois said consolingly when he trailed off.  'If he hadn't died himself so soon afterwards.' 

Moody gave a disparaging snort. 'You never knew your granddad Lois,' he said regretfully, 'but if you had, you'd realise that if he'd lived to be two hundred he'd never have forgiven me.  He was a stubborn old bas– bugger, right to the bitter end,' he amended with an apologetic look, grudging respect in his voice.

'But you said the two of you had been friends nearly all your life!'  Lois protested slightly shocked.  However much pain he'd been in, how could he have turned his back on friendship with that much history?  The way he spoke, it sounded as if they'd been practically brothers!

'Don't get me wrong Lois, he really _was_ a good man, one of the best, he just had that one fault.  He could never see that people were fallible, probably because he so rarely was.  Once you made a mistake he didn't forget and he hardly ever forgave.  He was always hardest on those he cared for most, so I suppose in a way it was a compliment,' he said with a dark smile. 'I've – I've got some old pictures of him and your grandmother.  Probably a few with your mom and uncle when they were kids too.  I could show them to you sometime.  If you wanted,' he said quickly, an endearingly uncertain expression on his disfigured face that she had never seen before.  Despite her first loyalty being to Severus, she couldn't find it in her heart to reject him after what he'd just put himself through.  

'I'd really like that,' she said and he coughed loudly, grunting something about, "sorting it out soon then."  Lois's half smile swiftly evaporated with a wince when she raised her eyes to find herself pinned squarely by Severus's accusing gaze.  She debated for a second hanging around to attempt to soothe his ruffled feathers over her fraternising with the enemy, but promptly decided against it - she was in too good a mood right now.  In fact, she couldn't have felt any better if Filius had just performed a hundred Cheering Charms on her and she didn't want to risk spoiling it attempting to mollify Severus.  She'd make it up to him later.

Decision made Lois turned to address the three men.  'Well, I'm afraid I'm really going to have to go - I was supposed to meet Sorrel out in the greenhouses ten minutes ago,' she said with a wide smile, refusing any further eye contact with Severus's and looking as though the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders, which it had.  'You don't need me anymore do you?' she asked and when Dumbledore assured that they didn't, she departed the room with a spring in her step, unable to stop herself from pausing briefly by Severus's side to reach up to drop a quick peck on his cheek on the way out of the door.  Because she was so intent on not meeting his gaze, she missed the fleeting softness that slid over his features at her action.  She also missed the sharpening of Moody's expression at the sight and the coldly calculating stare he levelled on an oblivious Snape once she'd gone.  

***

'Hold it there a minute Snape!'  Severus came to an automatic stop at the abrupt order and turned to see Moody glaring down at him from the top of the staircase above him.  After Lois's cowardly dash for the greenhouses, he had quickly made his own excuses to Dumbledore having no desire to be in the same room as Moody, let alone talk with him.  Unfortunately it seemed he wasn't going to escape a confrontation as easily as that.  He considered for a moment ignoring the command and simply continuing on his way, but he knew the Auror's dogged nature would only have him hounding him throughout the castle.   Might as well get it over with now, whatever it was.  Stifling a sigh, he waited impatiently as the thunk, thunk, of Moody's wooden leg brought him ever closer, finally silencing when he came to a halt a bare foot away from him.

'Did you want something Moody?'  Snape asked coldly when the other man didn't speak and simply stood staring at him with contempt he didn't bother to hide.

'There's a lot of things I want Snape, but right now what I _really_ want is to know what you think you're playing at with that girl.'

Snape made an impatient sound waving his hand at the Dark Arts Professor with disgust, even though he'd half expected this.  'Don't waste my time Moody.  You really _are _out of your mind if you think that just because you've conned Lois with your sob story means I have any intention of standing here and discussing my personal life with you –'

'Spare me your offended dignity Snape,' Moody sneered, 'it's not a discussion I had in mind, just thought it was long past time for a few home truths, that's all.  I've seen the way you act around her, and hard to swallow though it is, it's become apparent to me that you've actually got something resembling real human emotions for her.  If I'm right and you do, you'll listen to what I've got to say because it's important; for her, not you.'

Snape stiffened but remained silent, his gaze trained on the older man with burning hatred, reluctantly forced by his warning words into remaining to see where this was going.

'Her grandfather would be rolling in his grave if he knew what she was doing right now,' Moody said suddenly, his face twisting with distaste.  'He never even really got over her mother marrying a Muggle and if he could see her with the likes of _you_…' he growled insultingly.

'And why exactly are you telling me this Moody?'  Snape interjected in a carefully bored tone.  'You can't honestly believe I have any interest in her grandfather's opinion on the subject; the man is dead and unsurprising I don't particularly care if he's doing _handstands_ right now.   Oh, wait; _please_ don't tell me you're saying this in the foolish expectation that it might push me into doing the noble thing and release her from my diabolic clutches?' Snape derided, his black eyes glinting scornfully.  'My grandfather would be rolling in _his_ grave.' 

Moody's magical eye flashed warningly at Snape's mockery, his hands clenching into fists at his side, clearly itching to pull his wand or even just throw a good punch.  He finally regained control with obvious difficulty, pleasing Snape no end.  'No, the _last_ thing I'd expect is for you to be honourable Snape,' he finally spat. 'But you can't honestly tell me you believe scum like you is fit to even lick her boots.'   

Snape privately couldn't have agreed more, but there was no way he was giving Moody the satisfaction of seeing that his slur had hit its mark and he managed to keep his face expressionless by the tightest of margins, only a slight tick in his jaw giving him away.  

Unfortunately Moody noticed things others would not and he focussed gleefully on the tell tale sign, satisfaction lighting his wizened features.  'Yeah - you know it,' he said cruelly.  'Which begs the question – if that sewer you call a conscience is involved enough to recognise you're tainting her just with your presence, why are you still prepared to put her life at risk?'

'She will be perfectly safe with me,' Severus snarled before could stop himself.

'Think so?  Got something I've been wanting to show you Snape,' Moody said with a horrible sort of smile that made Severus certain he didn't want to see it, whatever it was, but morbid curiosity and a strange sense of fatalistic dread held him still. Considering his trepidation, he was surprised therefore when Moody reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled out two white pieces of card.  Examining each in turn, he nodded in satisfaction before handing one of them to Snape.

Carefully hiding his reluctance, Snape reached out to take the offered object, recognising it immediately as a photograph once he had it in hands.  Focussing on the glossy print the first thing he noticed was the odd camera angle.  It took a few turns of the picture before he finally had it the right way up, only realising it had been taken looking down on the subject, when he spotted the tips of the photographers feet shuffling restlessly at the bottom of the frame.  But still, what was it?  Obviously something dead judging by the large amount of blood covering the pulpy red mass, perhaps some kind of animal carcass?

'Don't recognise him?'  Moody's harsh voice interrupted his deliberations.  'You should; you used to know him quite well I believe.'

So it was a man, Snape accepted staring dispassionately down at the sickening image he held in his hand.  Even with that new information it still took a second for his brain to process what he was seeing. It_ was_ a human, but really he wouldn't have known that if he hadn't been told.  Part of the difficulty lay in the fact that the picture was in close up showing only a portion of a body, the torso, he realised, finally recognising the musculature of the chest and abdomen.  What truly made it almost impossible to identify was that the skin had been completely flayed from it, the freshly exposed muscles obscured by wetly gleaming blood that oozed inexorably from the dead flesh.

When Snape failed to react to his revelation, a flash of disappointment ran across Moody's face, which almost immediately faded leaving him looking disturbingly superior once more.  'Still haven't worked it out?  Fine friend you are Snape; that's Igor Karkaroff you're looking at.  Aurors found him like that three days ago, old mate of mine let me have the pictures for my scrapbook.  Funny thing is, the Ministry's been searching for him on the quiet since he went missing from here after the Triwizard Tournament last year, and they weren't able to find even a sniff of him.  Doesn't seem Voldemort had as much trouble does it?' he asked with a harsh laugh.

'Obviously not,' Snape said impassively.  What had Moody hoped for with this?  Did he think it would scare him?  Snape knew better than anyone what fate awaited him if Voldemort ever discovered his dual role and he didn't need any photographs to convince him of the danger he was in.  'Well, _incredibly_ interesting though that was Moody, I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me,' Snape said disdainfully, 'I have classes to teach and….'  

His words trailed off as he spotted the smug smile that was slowly unfurling on Moody's scarred face.  With escalating unease, Snape unwillingly reached forward to take the second picture that Moody was silently holding out towards him. 

This time the photograph had been taken at a wider angle allowing more of the room to be seen.  It was immediately apparent that Karkaroff hadn't been the only one to incur the Dark Lord's wrath that day, because he could now see another equally unidentifiable form lying a short distance away from the first.  Suddenly in the background of the shot, the lone pair of legs that until then had been only just visible, entered the frame fully as a young Auror ran across the back of the picture, looking distinctly green around the gills and holding a hand to his mouth.  Snape gave a little snort of disgust and lifted his head to raise questioning eyebrows at Moody, who was happy to provide an explanation.

'The second body there is Karkaroff's sister Hilda, and that,' he said pointing to a small gelatinous mass of flesh on the far left of picture that Snape had so far missed, 'is apparently not as they first thought a dismembered part of a third body, but is in fact Hilda's pet Kneazle, Olga.'  

'She was a Death Eater too?'  Snape heard himself asking, not recognising the name and wondering distantly why he was still standing here.

'Hilda?  No.  Matter of fact, she despised what Karkaroff had become; gave evidence against him at his trial although I don't suppose you'd know that.  Too busy hiding behind Dumbledore's skirts about then weren't you?' he mocked, but didn't wait for a response to his gibe.  'I'd say this was probably the first time the two of them had been in a room together for twenty years.  Not much of a family reunion was it?' he asked with black humour. 'As to why Voldemort took the time and effort to track her down and kill her too, who knows?  Perhaps he didn't realise there was no love lost between them, perhaps he meant it as a message to any others who might consider betraying him, or perhaps he was just being thorough.  Either way the end result is the same – one less piece of evil scum rattling around on the earth and two more innocents dead.'

With a sick lurch Severus finally saw what Moody had been trying to accomplish. Not to make him fear for his own life, but for Lois's. His dawning horror must have shown in his face, because Moody grinned triumphantly.  'So now you get it Snape.  When he comes for you – and he will – I want to make sure she isn't anywhere in the vicinity.  For the moment the only people who know about your _association_ with her is the rest of the staff, but it won't be long before the students catch on and you can be sure they'll be taking _that_ bit of gossip home.  And once it's there,' he shrugged expressively clearly enjoying himself, 'well, you'll know better than anyone I suppose about the _unsavoury _connections some of your precious Slytherins family's have got.' 

Snape shook his head in fierce denial and turned to walk away, but was stopped by Moody's hand shooting out lightening fast to grasp his arm tightly.  'You can't just ignore this Snape.  Think how angry Voldemort's going to be when your little double cross comes to light.  After seeing what he did to old Igor, I hate to think what he might do to you,' he said with grim pleasure, which faded as he spoke again.  'Hate to think what he'd do to her,' he pressed his magical eye glinting manically as he focussed on Snape's grey features.

'Then I'll stop spying,' Snape said swinging round to face him fully, wrung into giving a response when he had intended none.

'And what about all that _critical information_ you provide,' Moody mocked. 'Ready to turn your back on the cause are you?  What would Dumbledore say if he could hear his blue-eyed boy now?' he disparaged. 

'I. Don't. Care.' Snape bit out between gritted teeth.

'That sounds about right,' Moody scorned, his lip curling with disgust.  'But do you _really _think it's going to make a difference now anyway?  You can't seriously imagine that when Voldemort's going through his list of disloyal Death Eaters, he'll get to your name and say, "Don't bother about Severus, I hear he's finally found himself a woman and stopped spying against me now."  He shook his head almost pityingly.  'No, you made your bed a long time ago Snape and now you've got to lie in it, but _she_ doesn't.'

With a feral snarl Snape shook himself free of Moody's restraining arm, the sudden murderous gleam in his black eyes so violent that the ex-Auror, who could happily face down half a dozen Death Eaters without breaking a sweat, took an instinctive step backwards.  Snape however barely even noticed.  With a final blistering glare he turned on his heels and strode quickly down the corridor, his black robes billowing furiously behind him.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N** Okay folks, well I know it's been _forever_ but you did say last time you didn't mind long chapters, so I took you at your word!  I'm glad I mentioned it now because you wouldn't believe the difficulty I've had trying to keep these things pared down; I won't bother anymore :)  Thinking about it though, I suppose everyone who objected to the length of the chaps sensibly abandoned ship a looong time ago, so double thanks to all you brave souls who've stuck with it!  And just in case anyone cares and doesn't remember (and why would you remember it's from _ages_ back!), the details about Lois's grandfather, mother and uncle's death are mostly from chapter eight and fourteen, the ring was found in chapter ten, shrunk in chapter fifteen and owled to her in chapter eighteen, the bath they shared was from chapter 23, and finally the newspaper article Moody refers to is from chapter fourteen – phew!

Jelselmium – Actually Lois has been to a Quidditch match, I was just too frightened to write it!  And yes she does know that Snape tried to hand Sirius over to the Dementors, but it would have been Snape's sanitised version of events; (knocked unconscious by the very students he was trying to save from an escaped murderer who was being assisted by a werewolf), so she wouldn't know precisely _how_ dangerously unhinged he was just then :)  As for Hagrid, both he and Harry _should_ be showing up in the next chapter, fingers crossed. 


	24. Over the Lips and Past the Gums

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

Lois trudged across the grounds away from the greenhouses and her rather wasted tutoring session with Sorrel Sprout.  She had still been too filled with joy over the discovery that the ring was responsible for the wandless magic, to be able to concentrate properly on Sorrel's instructions on how to safely transplant Biting Buddleia Bushes.  Noticing her distraction, Sorrel had offered to postpone the lesson and they had instead spent a pleasant couple of hours drinking herbal tea and gossiping.  Lois had only left as lunchtime approached and some of Sorrel's more demanding plants had started yowling to be fed.

Catching sight of movement out the corner of her eye, Lois looked up, the voices that had obviously been calling her name for some time finally penetrating her oblivious state.  Smiling now as she recognised Harry, Ron and Hermione, Lois waved in response across the expanse of grass and changed direction to head towards them.  

'Hello there, where are you three off to?' she asked when they all met up half way.  'Not bunking off classes I hope?' she said mock sternly, knowing full well they wouldn't be.  Not so much because she imagined they had never done such a thing, but more because if they _were_, they certainly wouldn't have let her catch them in the act.

'Certainly not!' Hermione insisted scandalised.

'As if we would Lois,' Harry assured smiling broadly, while Ron unsuccessfully attempted to look mortally wounded by the suggestion.  'No, we've got a free lesson so we're visiting Hagrid,' Harry continued gesturing towards the small round hut behind him, the smoke billowing cheerfully from the chimney making it look lived in for the first time since Lois had arrived at Hogwarts.  

'Um, you should come with us,' Ron said managing to look her fully in the eye.  His crush had been slowly dwindling with all of the exposure to her company, and he could actually talk to her now for long stretches of time without changing colour once. Lois had noticed he only seemed to regress to his original stuttering state when she wore Muggle clothing, especially anything that showed a hint of cleavage.  After realising this, she had done her best to make sure she was covered from neck to toe if she knew she was going to be seeing him with Harry.  Luckily thanks to the cold weather that day, she was well wrapped up and barely an inch of uncovered skin was on show.

'Oh no, no,' Lois demurred immediately.  'He's only just got back.  I'm sure you all have a lot of catching up to do.'  

Hagrid had apparently returned from his "secret" visit with the giant population two days ago.  The first Lois had seen of him was when he had clomped into the Great Hall yesterday morning for breakfast, the enormous man beaming from ear to ear with pleasure at his return home, and bellowing greetings over to Harry and the others, as he settled himself at the High Table two chairs down from Lois.  She and Elena Roupe had both been introduced, and Lois had quickly found that Hagrid's sweet nature belied his rather fearsome outward appearance, just as Harry had assured her it did.  She had been in the middle of happily chatting with him about her time at Hogwarts, over an increasingly sour faced Snape who separated the two of them, when Hugo Quade had arrived.  Hagrid had immediately pulled out the empty chair to his right for the temporary Care of Magical Creatures professor, and had begun interrogating him on his classes before Hugo had even sat down.  Lois had watched amused, as an increasingly incredulous Hagrid had systematically worked his way through the lesson plans he had left, obviously dismayed that Quade had used practically none of the creatures he'd intended.  

Looking more and more distraught with every passing second, the groundskeeper had eventually pulled a tatty notebook and quill from one of his many capacious pockets, and begun reading out what had apparently been his class curriculum for the year.   Listening to the catalogue of terrifying sounding creatures, Lois at least had been exceedingly glad Hugo had made his own arrangements.  Hagrid, however, had _not_ been as delighted.  By three quarters of the way through the list, his disappointment could no longer be contained.

'What about the Occamy?  Did yeh use him?  Took me forever to talk tha' bloke at the sanctuary into lettin' us borrow it ter study,' he said plaintively.  

Hugo shook his head apologetically.  'Well, no, I thought it would be a bit _too_ dangerous Hagrid, especially for the first years.  They are very… _aggressive_ creatures after all, and perhaps a little advanced for eleven year olds?'

Hagrid seemed to shrink in his seat at this.  'D'yeh think so?' he questioned a little uncertainly, his bright black eyes dulling momentarily as he glanced back down at his battered notebook with a frown.  'But… but didn't yeh use _any_ of me animals?' he finally asked mournfully, 'not even the Bewilderbeast?'

'No, definitely _not_ the Bewilderbeast,' Hugo said forcefully wincing at the prospect, before seeming to take pity on the other man who looked crushed by the news.  Leaning over he pulled the notebook towards him, scanning his way down the messily written list with difficulty, until finally spotting an entry towards the bottom of the page, and tapping it with the butter knife he still held in his hand.  'Here you go!  We had nearly three weeks worth of lessons on fire crabs.  The students really seemed to have fun with those.'  

Hagrid brightened slightly at that, a smile briefly illuminating his features.  'Yeah, thought they'd enjoy 'em.  Anyone get burnt?' he asked interestedly and Hugo shook his head no, shooting a quick wink at Lois as Hagrid nodded approvingly.  'Real shame 'bout the rest though.  Had a great year planned 'fore…' he trailed off with a deep sigh.  

'There's still plenty of the year left,' Hugo pointed out bracingly, 'and I'm sure you'll be eager to get straight back in the saddle?' he asked to which Hagrid nodded enthusiastically, his long beard dangling in his porridge as he did so.  Sitting at his side, Snape's face twisted in disgust as Hagrid immediately jerked his head sharply backwards, causing porridge to splatter across the potion masters previously pristine robes with a wet squelch.

'Right, that's it!' Severus snarled, having already narrowly avoiding having hot tea spilled in his lap twice in the last five minutes when Hagrid had reached for the sugar bowl, and then the toast rack moments later.  

Snape's irritated tone finally succeeding in distracting Hagrid from his beloved class for a minute, and he turned away from Hugo to beam at the scowling potions master.  'Missed seein' yer smilin' face at breakfast Snape – good ter be back,' he announced cheerfully.  

Snape grunted in reply, standing abruptly and impatiently waving away the other man's attempts to assist him as he brushed ineffectively at his stained clothes.  With a muttered, 'Clumsy oaf,' to Lois in lieu of an actual goodbye, Snape stalked off towards the rear entrance without speaking another word to anyone.

Lois glanced cautiously over at the large man expecting him to be annoyed by Severus's rudeness, only to find him still grinning.  When he noticed her watching him, he bent towards her across the now empty chair at his side.  

'Don' normally sit next ter Professor Snape,' he confided unabashed.  'Never his best at mealtimes tha' one.'  Hiding her smile at his serious tone, Lois had simply nodded her agreement, excusing herself from the table not long afterwards leaving Hagrid and Hugo still deep in discussion about magical creatures.

'You _should_ come Lois,' Harry said his voice dragging her back to the present.  'Hagrid said to invite you, but when we went to the Infirmary to ask if you wanted to come, Madam Pomfrey didn't know where you were.'  

'Are you sure?' Lois questioned not wanting to intrude, but also not having anywhere in particular to be for the rest of the afternoon.  She _could_ study she supposed, but really she was in far too good a mood at the moment for anything that productive.  Anyway, if she returned to the castle now, she ran the risk of bumping into Severus, something she'd planned to avoid until he'd had the chance to get over his annoyance with her for not rebuffing Moody's overture of friendship that morning.

'Positive,' Harry insisted and Lois smiled her agreement, joining the three of them as they retraced their steps back towards Hagrid's little wooden house.  Moments later they were all sitting cosily around a large table, Hagrid bustling about making a huge pot of tea, while Ron took his turn being slobbered over by Fang the borehound, who was obviously delighted to see the children again.

'Stoat sandwich Lois?'  Hagrid asked appearing at her side and brandishing a huge plate of doorstep-sized sandwiches with a flourish.

'I'm sorry?'

'Stoat sandwich,' he repeated smiling through his bushy beard and jiggling the full platter enticingly.

'Er – is that made with a…. _real_ stoat?' Lois questioned carefully making no effort to take one, and in fact unconsciously shrinking back slightly when she spotted what looked like a patch of fur poking out from between two slices of wholegrain bread.  At least she _hoped_ it was wholegrain bread.

'Course it is!'  Hagrid defended quickly, apparently appalled by the suggestion that he might be offering her some type of inferior stoat substitute.  'Fresh an' all.  None o' that canned rubbish!  Foun' it in one of me traps when I got back.'

Lois was hard pressed to pin down what was the most disturbing aspect of that statement.  The fact that you could get canned stoat, the fact that Hagrid's idea of fresh was something that had been caught, at best, two days ago, or the fact that she was being offered stoat as a snack in any form whatsoever.

'Umm, thank you Hagrid but I've just eaten a big… thing,' she finally said lamely, her mind refusing to come up with anything more convincing in the rush to turn down the revolting dish.

'I could cut it in half fer yeh?' he offered generously. 'Prob'ly seems a bit big fer a tiny thing like you, eh?' he said putting the plate down and picking up a huge carving knife that Lois was sure in Victorian times would have been used to saw off a leg.

'Oh no, honestly I'm full,' she protested hurriedly.  Hagrid obligingly adjusted the knife reducing the size of the slice still further.  'Really Hagrid, thank you but I couldn't possible eat any because I… I'm a vegetarian!' Lois declared in ringing tones of relief. 'Almost verging on vegan really,' she added quickly, not wanting to risk having to consume anything of an animal nature.

Out the corner of her eye she caught sight of Harry and Ron nodding approvingly at her lie.  Even Hermione, whose love of honesty occasionally bordered on obsession, looked reluctantly understanding. 

'Are yeh?' Hagrid asked his eyebrows scrunching together with puzzlement and thankfully lowering the huge knife back to the table.  'Thought I saw yeh eatin' bacon this mornin' at breakfast,' he mumbled thoughtfully.

'Oh, well you see…' _Damn why hadn't she just said she was on a diet?_  'I'm not really, _totally_ strict about it.  I eat fish sometimes and eggs and… bacon.' Lois attempted a smile that crumpled slightly around the edges when the half giant only looked even more confused.

'It's a Muggle thing Hagrid,' Harry said quickly and Hagrid's perplexed frown disappeared in an instant as he nodded knowingly.  

'Ah!  Yeh've got some funny ways you Muggles,' he said with an indulgent shake of his head.  'Met a Muggle bloke once who said he was a "_postman_."  Can yeh believe it?  Had ter walk fer miles pushing letters through other Muggles doors.  Imagine tha' – a man doin' an _owls_ job.  Ah, bless 'em,' he said with real affection.  'Still pity that though Lois - you bein' a vegetarian.   I've bin workin' on a new recipe for vole-au-vent's this mornin'.  Got the idea when I was visitin'… er, some… friends recently,' he trailed off covering his slip with a cough.

Lois along with the others pretended not to notice.  Although Harry had already told her his suspicions as to where Hagrid had been since term began, the other man plainly believed his mission had been top secret.

'Vol-au-vent's?  That is a shame,' Lois lied repeating his strange pronunciation.  'I love them actually, but there's no way I could make the pastry from scratch, I'd have to buy…' she trailed off as what he had said finally sank in.  'The filling's a vole isn't it?'

'Yeah, o' course!  _Never_ would have thought of it meself, but the ones I tried came out a real treat.  Smashin' idea fer a buffet an' all – jus' the right size,' he said enthusiastically.

Lois nodded queasily and made a mental note never to attend a soiree Hagrid was hosting unless she had eaten before she arrived. Still, a small voice pointed out fairly, who was she to judge?  When you came right down to it, animal flesh was animal flesh and who decided that rat was disgusting and chicken delicious?  Of course, the only reason she could be objective on the subject was because she wasn't holding a pastry stuffed with dead vermin at the moment.  

'It's nice swapping recipes,' she finally replied limply, apparently the only person able to speak at the moment.  At the first mention of vole-au-vent's, Harry, Ron and Hermione had begun frantically cramming fudge into their mouths from the package in the middle of the table.  Lois had thought their behaviour odd at the time, especially given how sickly they had all been looking.  Now, however, she realised they had seen what was coming and were obviously far more experienced than she at gracefully refusing the food Hagrid offered; with their mouths conveniently glued shut, they had no need to make excuses. She shot Harry a vaguely accusing glare for not warning her and he managed an apologetic grimace with difficulty.  Clearly when it came to avoiding Hagrid's culinary experiments, it was every man for himself.  

Realising no assistance would be forthcoming from the now mute trio, she turned her attention back towards Hagrid to find him beaming bushily at her.  'Still,' she managed to ask semi-cheerfully into the fast growing silence, 'voles must be very difficult to bone?' 

'Bone?'  Hagrid repeated, his tone echoing his bewilderment at the concept.

Lois went green. 

**

'I'm sorry, but I'm really going to have to go,' Lois said rising regretfully half an hour later.  'I've got a couple of essays due tomorrow that I haven't even started yet.'  Hermione's instinctive reproving frown vanished almost immediately, as she realised that for once she wasn't dealing with one of Harry and Ron's many attempts to avoid their homework.  Noticing her reaction, Lois grinned over at the young girl.  'Hey, maybe I could just say Fang ate it,' she teased pausing to stroke the large dogs ears that had pricked at hearing his name, and Hermione smiled back in response. 

'I wouldn't try that one,' Harry advised over the boarhound's ecstatic whines, 'Ron's already used it twice.  Professor McGonagall found out and said if any more of his homework gets eaten, he'd better have a missing hand to back it up next time.'  Ron nodded glumly in confirmation and Lois pulled a consoling face at his doleful expression as she collected her belongings together.

Twisting in his chair, Harry said his goodbyes along with everyone else and watched as Hagrid stood to see Lois the few steps to the door, gruffly waving away her thanks for the tea and telling her she was welcome to visit him any time.  As the cabin door closed behind her, a frown creased Harry's forehead as the unpleasant thought struck him that the real reason she was dashing off, probably had more to do with seeing Snape than any unfinished homework.

'All right, Harry?'  Hagrid asked coming to sit back down at the table and obviously noticing his scowl.

'Yeah,' Harry said hurriedly not wanting to have to answer any awkward questions.  He wasn't sure if the Professors knew about Lois and Snape, and he certainly didn't want to be the one explaining _that_ to Hagrid if they didn't. Especially when he couldn't explain it to himself.  'So when are you going to start teaching classes again Hagrid?' 

'Next week mos' likely,' Hagrid said accepting the subject change without question.  'Quade said he'll stay an' finish Streelers with you lot firs' ter give me chance ter catch up on all me groundskeepin' duties.  That git Filch hasn' done half the jobs he was supposed ter do,' he grumbled yanking the still full plate of sandwiches towards him grumpily.

'Professor Quade's leaving that soon?' Hermione asked quickly, the disappointment in her tone gaining everyone's attention.  'Perhaps we should get him a present,' she suggested a slight tinge of pink to her cheeks.

'What for?' Ron demanded eyeing her flushed face suspiciously.  'We've never given one to any of the other professors.  Not even Lupin and we _liked_ him.'

'We like Professor Quade,' Hermione said primly.  'Don't we Harry?'

'He's okay I suppose,' Harry shrugged uninterestedly, most of his attention reluctantly focussed on Hagrid as he enthusiastically demolished three of the disgusting sandwiches in quick succession.  'But I'm not sure about getting him…'

'D'yeh think Quade's classes have bin better than mine then?'  Hagrid interrupted looking crestfallen and dropping a half eaten sandwich back onto the plate with a small thud.  'Cause he's missed a load of good stuff out yeh know; plenty of _interestin' _magical creatures comin' up now I'm back,' he promised, as though this was a treat rather than a cause for concern. 

'No, no Hagrid,' Hermione rushed to assure a touch desperately on seeing Hagrid's distress, and plainly regretting having started the conversation now. 'I just meant it was a shame for him having to leave that's all.  I'm _glad_ you're going to be teaching us again.  We've really missed you, haven't we?' she asked looking to the boys for confirmation.

'Yeah,' Harry said quickly, sincerity shining in his voice.  'Hogwarts isn't the same without you around Hagrid.'

'Course it isn't,' said Ron, shooting Hermione a reproachful glance. 'And your classes are miles better than _Quade's,_' he disparaged, as though he hadn't been singing the temporary professors praises every time a Care of Magical Creatures lesson had ended with all the Gryffindor students limbs still attached.  In fact, his only cause for complaint so far this year, had been the unlikelihood of an accident befalling Malfoy and his goons with the rather tame animals they had been studying.   

'Thanks fer tha' kids, good to know,' Hagrid said mistily, blowing his nose loudly before looking over at the three of them once he had composed himself once more.  'So are yeh goin' ter get him a present?' he asked interestedly, magnanimous in victory.

'No!' Ron announced forcefully at the same time as Hermione said, 'Well we could start a collection.'

'A collection of what?' Ron asked bewildered.

'Of money!  To buy the present silly!'

Ron snorted loudly. 'Buy?  Forget it, I thought you meant making him something and I wasn't even going to do that.  Anyway, I need all my money.'

'What for,' Hermione questioned disdainfully her nose in the air, 'run out of dungbombs again have you?'

'As a matter of fact no,' he informed her loftily while Harry and Hagrid watched on amused. 'I'm saving it to buy Christmas presents, which you'd think _some_ people would be more appreciative of.'  

'Oh,' Hermione said quietly looking a little embarrassed.  'Well, that's kind of you I suppose.  Although you _have_ had all year to save,' she continued more firmly, 'You've really left it a bit late now Ron – I brought most of my presents in September.'

'You would,' Ron muttered, but Harry noticed, not loud enough for Hermione to hear. 'Anyhow,' he said in his normal voice, 'it's not right, us buying them presents.  We're the ones forced to sit through their classes all year, at least they're getting paid for it.  Quade should be buying us presents.'  

'Of course he shouldn't!  You buy gifts for the people who are _leaving_ Ron, not the people who are staying, that's just the way it works!'

'Well I'm against it on principle,' Ron said refusing to be budged.  'Mind you, I wouldn't mind chipping in if it'd convince some of the other professors to go – Snape for starters,' he muttered darkly, 'then Roupe,' he added as an afterthought.

'What's wrong with Professor Roupe?' Hermione demanded sharply.

'She looks like a troll.'

'Ron!   Don't be so rude,' Hermione snapped ignoring the snort of laughter both Harry and Hagrid unsuccessfully tried to bite back at Ron's declaration. 'Just because she isn't very… pretty is no reason to dislike her.'

'Fine!' Ron huffed.  'What about the fact she nearly cursed Harry's head off not long back?' 

'That was an accident!  She didn't mean to hurt him, she was trying to _teach_ him.'

'Didn't do a very good job if then did she?' Ron snorted.

'I bet you wouldn't be saying that if she looked like Lois though, would you?' Hermione asked sharply and Harry was surprised to hear a note of jealousy creeping into her voice.  

Ron however, missed it completely.  'Yes I would.  If she ever nearly took Harry's _head off_!' 

'Oh, you're just being sexist because she's a woman doing what's always been a man's job,' Hermione huffed, her spine ramrod straight as she glared angrily at Ron.  'It's okay to have female professors for Herbology or Astronomy, but let them try to teach something more dangerous like Defence Against the Dark Arts and suddenly they're a troll!'

As Hermione's voice rose higher, Harry started to worry that the argument might result in another S.P.E.W.-like campaign, and he _really_ didn't want to find himself walking Hogwarts halls wearing a badge with Roupe's picture on it.  He was frantically trying to think of something to say to deflate the fast growing quarrel when he heard Ron mutter, 'That's assuming she _is_ a woman.'

'Well, now you're just being silly,' Hermione said shrilly.  'Of course she's a woman and _that's_ what the problem is.'  

'No, the problem is that no one can stand her Hermione, she's a nutter with all her stupid rules and endless homework – she gives us more than anyone!  _And_ we're never even going to needhalf the things she's teaching us anyway; Fred said a load of those curses and counter curses are from the dark ages.'

'Dark ages or not, we _might_ need them one day Ron, just because they're old doesn't mean they don't work.  And you're wrong about no one liking her – I …' Hermione trailed off as Ron stared at her eyebrows raised, daring her to utter the lie.  'Okay I don't _like_ her, but she's good at her job – as good as Professor Lupin or Moody, which is why Dumbledore hired her.  All these years with hardly a single decent Dark Arts teacher, and now because of…' she glanced at Harry for a second and quickly looked away, 'well, now he's making sure he's got it _right_.'

'Yeah and he thought he'd got it right with Lockhart didn't he?' Ron asked with a pointed look that caused Hermione to flush angrily.

'Professor Lockhart was a very good teacher!  He just… Wait, don't try to change the subject!  We were talking about your prejudiced attitude towards strong women.  You didn't say anything when that Hysteria Hex Professor Moody was demonstrating on Harry made him try to disarm half of the class because he thought their quills were plotting against him.  You thought it was funny!'

'Well I didn't,' Harry interrupted before Ron could respond.  'Why does everyone have to practice on me?' he asked with remembered annoyance.  He'd had to give Lavender Brown two of his best quills in replacement for the ones he'd melted of hers, and she still wasn't talking to him.  Neville wasn't best pleased with him either for that matter, but with slightly better reason; the curse he'd aimed at his quill had missed and hit Neville's inkwell instead, covering the other boy's face and hands in 'Columbus Frink's Never Fade Ink'.  "Never Fade" might have been something of an overstatement, but it had still taken numerous Scouring Charms in the Infirmary to remove the stains completely.  Unfortunately he now looked like he had a bad case of sunburn, and Madam Pomfrey had said it would take at least another week for it to fade completely.

'Because, Harry, you're the Boy who Lived,' Ron reminded with a grin as he turned to face him.  'The Professors probably reckon they're safe using you – if You-Know-Who couldn't finish you off, what chance have they got?'

'Probably because they think I'm going to need the practice more like,' Harry said with a touch of bitterness that killed the argument stone dead, and left everyone awkwardly silent.  

Finally Hagrid made a loud "harrumphing" noise and patted Harry reassuringly on the back, the force of his blow sending him face first into the box of fudge on the table. 'Or maybe it's 'cause they can see yer a great wizard Harry,' Hagrid said bluffly.  'I know that's why I always pick yeh firs' in class.'

And because everyone else would run screaming into the Forbidden Forrest if he called on them, Harry thought with a touch of humour, grateful for Hagrid's attempt to comfort him.  He looked over at Ron and Hermione through his grease smeared glasses, and saw from their expressions that they'd obviously been the thinking the same thing as he had.  He shot them a conspiratorial half grin, and they smiled back, obviously relieved that his annoyance hadn't lasted.

'I really think we should be going,' Hermione said looking at her watch and standing up immediately. 'We'll be late for class if we aren't careful.'

Ron stood too and picking up his bag made his way to the door, opening it and allowing Hermione to precede him from the hut.  'Cheers for the tea Hagrid,' he called, moving swiftly to catch up with Hermione who had already given Hagrid her thanks and assured him again how _very _glad they all were to have him back. 

Gathering his own belongings together, Harry trailed after the other two slightly slower, stopping just outside the doorway with Hagrid to watch Ron and Hermione, who were now several feet away from the hut, playfully trying to trip each other up.  Ron's greater height and strength would have sent Hermione tumbling to the ground more than once, if he hadn't immediately reached out to steady her carefully against him.  Harry shook his head, amazed anew by their ability to put their arguments so quickly behind them.  Since their return to Hogwarts this year, the atmosphere around Ron and Hermione had been growing steadily tenser by the day, a fact that had been noticed by the majority of their classmates and only Ron and Hermione seemed oblivious to.  Arguments flared up out of nowhere and without warning, and disappeared just as quickly.  The Gryffindor Common Room was fast becoming a dangerous place to relax.    

A playful shout dragged Harry's attention back towards the laughing pair and he grimaced slightly at the picture they made.  The idea of his two best friends being together was a strange one, not exactly surprising of course, but still… odd.  Sometimes it didn't seem like five minutes had passed since they were all nervous eleven year olds, meeting up for the first time on the Hogwarts Express, and now here they were, five years later and two thirds of the trio about to turn into a couple.  Not that he was jealous about the change to their relationship – he'd never thought of Hermione in that way.  Spending time with her had certainly never caused the uncomfortable "flip-flop" sensation in his stomach that just the _thought _of being around Cho did. And while he'd never really forgotten that Hermione was a girl, as Ron often had prior to the Yule ball last year, to Harry, first and foremost she was his friend.  The idea of kissing Hermione was almost as ridiculous as the idea of him suddenly being overcome by the urge to kiss Ron.  He grimaced again.  Well, maybe not as ridiculous as _that_.

'Feelin' a bit left out are yeh Harry?' Hagrid commiserated noticing his frown. 'Don' worry, it'll happen fer you too, and when it does, yeh'll be grateful they got a head start when yeh don't have ter go searchin' out spells fer covering up lovebites and the like.  When the time comes, I reckon Ron'll be more than glad ter tell yeh what yeh need ter know.  If not though,' he said his face scrunching into a contemplative frown, 'I think "_Awkward Ailments and How to Hide Them_" is prob'ly the best place ter look; can't recall which chapter now.  D'yeh know it?'

'No!' Harry said quickly, very uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking, especially when he couldn't help but wonder if Hagrid himself had had need of the book since meeting Madame Maxime last year.  'I mean, I don't you know… _need _anything like that yet.'  _Damn, now he just sounded pathetic._  'Well… that is…  if I wanted I _could –_'

'Course yeh could!'  Hagrid said reassuringly, obviously taking pity on his stumbling explanation.  'Yeh'll have no problems on that score, I'm sure.  Bet yeh've even got some lucky young witch in mind eh?' he asked with an encouraging waggle of his eyebrows.  

An image of Cho appeared crystal clear in his head, and Harry felt a prickle of heat start at the base of his neck and work its way up and around to his face.  He decided there and then that he _really_ didn't want to be having this conversation with Hagrid right now.  'I… no, well maybe.  No,' he finally managed to stammer, shaking his head forcefully. 

Hagrid nodded solemnly, his twinkling black eyes giving Harry the sneaking suspicion that the other man was having tremendous fun teasing him about this.  Reining in his embarrassment, Harry managed a small, rueful smile in response and with a self-mocking roll of his eyes, raised his hand in farewell, turning to jog across the grass towards the others.  

'Harry!' Hagrid called just as he reached Ron and Hermione's side.  'I remember now - it's chapter eighteen yeh'll want – "Who's a Naughty Boy Then!" he bellowed.  Swinging horrified round to face him, Harry caught sight of a huge grin on the groundskeepers bristly features just before he turned and entered his hut, leaving a red faced Harry to provide an explanation to his intensely curious friends.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**   Hagrid's vole-au-vent's – although I can't remember anything specific – _sound_ to me like they come from a Monty Python sketch.  I do vaguely recall something about ratatouille (a large bowl with rat's tails hanging over the edge), but vole-au-vent's seem such a very obvious disgusting food, I'm guessing the idea came from someone if not them.  All of the magical creatures mentioned are from Fantastic Beasts, apart from the Bewilderbeast, which came from Badly Drawn Boy. :)

I really, _really_ want to thank you all for your reviews and emails and to say that I'm incredibly sorry it's been so long between updates.  I've had a lot going on lately and I just haven't been able to write.  I'll do my very best from now on though to keep the rest of the story coming at regular intervals.  Also apologies if this chapter seems shorter than normal, but the second, (less pleasant) Snape/Lois half of it wasn't quite ready, but frankly if I didn't post _something_ soon, I was worried I might never get round to it.  It shouldn't be long before it's up though. :)  


	25. The End of the Affair

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**~ 0 ~**

 '… so do you want a cup of tea or not?'

'What?'  Severus glanced distractedly up from the piles of scrolls he had been staring blindly at for the last hour, into Lois's questioning face.

'Weren't you listening at all?  I asked if you wanted me to make you a drink,' she repeated holding up the steaming mug in her right hand.

'Oh.  No.  Thank you,' he added belatedly.  Lois rolled her eyes with mild exasperation at his preoccupied air, but didn't comment, simply sinking back down onto the low sofa across the room from him.  Within moments she was immersed once more in the numerous open books beside her, the soft scratching of her quill against rough parchment, the only sound in the quiet room.

Freed from her observation, Severus went back to his blank perusal of the homework in front of him, the room around him fading from view once more.  Since his confrontation with Moody that morning, he had been running almost entirely on autopilot.  He hadn't actually cancelled any of his classes, but his inattention during them could easily have led to any number of disasters.  Luckily the rest of his lessons had been made up entirely of sixth and seventh year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws.  If he'd have had the misfortune to encounter one of the Creevey brothers, or worse still, Longbottom, there was a very good chance he wouldn't have survived to tell the tale. He wondered for a grim moment whether that would necessarily have been a bad thing.  

The nightmare day had alternately rushed and crawled by in an agony of indecision, while his brain had churned feverishly trying to hit upon the elusive solution to his problem, one that would allow him to keep Lois with him, and yet ensure her safety at the same time.  With carefully unacknowledged dread, he had systematically worked his way through every protection spell and charm he knew, rejecting one after another, none of them foolproof, as the Potters and countless thousands of other unfortunate witches and wizards could attest.  If any of them were still alive that was.  Wizarding solutions exhausted, Severus had in desperation turned his thoughts to Muggle options, only to find them of even less use.  The only vaguely possible answer there was to transplant themselves entirely to the Muggle world, and even supposing he could convince Lois to blindly give up magic and go into hiding without any explanation, he knew she would never agree to abandoning Potter and her mediwizardry training without a word.

Almost completely unaware of his surroundings by this stage, he had only briefly surfaced from his miserable introspection when the bell had rung announcing the end of school, bringing with it the realisation that he had missed lunch entirely.  As a consequence the first he had seen of Lois was when they had met up in the Great Hall for dinner. From the moment she sat hesitantly down beside him, Severus had been dimly conscious that Lois wasn't quite herself either.  He had been peripherally aware of numerous, darting sideways glances directed his way, and the almost wary tone she used on the few occasions she had attempted to engage him in conversation.  Towards the end of the meal she had hesitantly brought up the subject of the wandless magic, asking in a hushed voice if anything more had been discussed after she had left the Headmasters office.  Snape had started at that, swivelling in his chair to pin her with a suspicious glance, wondering briefly whether she had somehow learnt of his conversation with Moody, before realising how improbable that was.

Moody knew as well as he did that Lois was unlikely to abandon him because of any threat Voldemort might make, and would only be angry with the other man for suggesting it.  The ex-Auror was wily enough to leave the decision resting completely in Snape's lap, and trust that his emotions were indeed involved enough to do whatever was necessary to protect her.  Reassured that she couldn't know anything of what had occurred, he had abruptly informed her that he had left himself soon after she had.  Lois had nodded quickly and turned back to her meal, to his relief making no further comment on the subject. Snape had stared vaguely puzzled at her downcast head for a moment, but unable to come up with a reason for her odd behaviour, he had pushed the niggling question determinedly aside.  Whatever else was wrong at the moment, it would have to wait.

Considering her strange mood, Snape had been slightly surprised when Lois had accompanied him to his chambers after their meal as normal.  Whatever had been bothering her earlier, she had obviously decided to put it behind her, because she had determinedly chatted brightly with him on the journey down to the dungeon, seemingly unfazed by his monosyllabic answers, and uncomplainingly pulling out her own homework when he had immediately sat down at the large desk to begin marking his.  Not another word had been spoken between them until the offer of tea had been made. 

A loud sigh from Lois pulled him from his unsettled thoughts and he glanced over at her, careful not to attract her attention.  She was apparently having difficulty with some piece of homework judging by the disgruntled scowl on her face, and the furious way her quill was scratching at the parchment balanced across her lap.  Severus craned his neck slightly to get a better look at the book lying in front of her.  Transfiguration, no wonder.  Still her worst subject by far and showing absolutely no signs of improving.  Despite his attempted stealth, Lois must have somehow felt his glance upon her because she looked up sharply, smiling sheepishly when she found him watching her. 

'Do you think there's any chance I can convince Minerva of the basic pointlessness of knowing how to turn a button into a beetle and vice versa?' she grumbled good-naturedly.

'I doubt it,' he murmured, his mind already returning to his nagging problem before focussing enough to say, 'As far as I've been able to tell, Minerva's firmly held belief in life is that you can never have enough buttons.  Or, apparently, beetles.' 

Lois grinned, seemingly pleased by his response, half-hearted though it was.  'You don't look like you're having much fun there yourself.  Whose homework are you marking, or shouldn't I ask?' 

Snape looked quickly down, aware he had absolutely no idea which unfortunate student had apparently just earned themselves an 'F'.  'Karol Carroll,' he said with a snort of disgust.  'The boy's work makes about as much sense as his name,' he muttered darkly, adding a quick, terror inducing, 'See me' underneath the failing mark.

'Well, whatever else he's done wrong, you can't blame the poor devil for a name his parents saddled him with _Severus_,' Lois chided, her lips twitching with amusement.  'It _is _unfortunate though; I would never do that to a defenceless baby, especially after all the stick I took at school with my name.  I always thought it would be nice to name my children after my mom and dad – Niahm and William, I like both of those, and best of all, they're _normal_,' she said with feeling.

'You wish to start a family?' Snape asked abruptly, the shock of her words jolting him from his introspection with the force of a hammer blow, and making him wonder why, after all his recent thoughts of permanency and marriage, the possibility of that had never once occurred to him.  Lois plainly adored children of all ages, an attitude he heartily disagreed with and had never been able to fathom. He hadn't even liked children when he'd been one himself.  However, now that he actually gave it conscious thought, Lois, he realised, would make a wonderful mother, supportive and loving and most importantly _there._  In fact, the total opposite of everything his own mother had been.   He had a sudden vividly clear image of her seated as she was now, curled up in the large fireside sofa, their child resting securely in her arms, a tender smile on her face.  

Over the growing dread slowly unfurling in his stomach, he wondered numbly how an offspring of theirs would have turned out anyway.  Would it have been lucky and taken after its mother, or would the unfortunate infant have been cursed with his irascible temperament, or worse still, his looks?  A battle of good against evil fought at the genetic level, he mused with grim ill humour. 

'Well… yes,' Lois replied carefully.  'Not anytime soon obviously,' she added hurriedly seeing his frozen expression.  'I mean, I'm so busy with my studies at the moment I wouldn't be able to give them the attention they needed, but eventually… yes.'

'I see,' he managed, his studiously blank tone causing Lois's gaze to sharpen worriedly.

'Severus, what's wrong?'

'Nothing,' he said tersely, standing to walk toward the roaring fireplace and holding his hands out in front of it, suddenly chilled to the bone.  The dawning knowledge that he had been desperately trying to deny since his conversation with Moody, abruptly clarified into crystal clearness.  There _was_ no miraculous solution to this, magical or otherwise.  He couldn't realistically protect her, not while she was with him and she certainly couldn't be expected to protect herself.  While her charms and healing skills were high, they far outstripped the rest of her abilities; she wouldn't have a hope in hell of surviving a confrontation against a determined second year, let alone Voldemort and his Death Eaters. 

As if that fact alone wasn't horrifying enough, now with her words came the unpleasant realisation that it wasn't only Lois's safety he had to consider.  Going on past experience, the upcoming war wouldn't be a short one.  Even if he could somehow justify to himself risking Lois's life, how could he deny her the possibility of a family, and if he couldn't, how could he allow an innocent child's life – _their innocent child's life_ – to hang in the balance because of his sordid past.  If he had asked for sign from above, which he most definitely had not, then this was surely it, arriving unannounced and unwanted to signal the end of their relationship, and obligingly handing him the means to do so on a platter.

Dread turning the blood in his veins to ice, he turned back to face her and stood completely still for a moment, drinking in the fine-boned beauty of her face.  A worried frown had etched slight lines on her forehead and her bright blue eyes gleamed with concern.  His stomach clenched painfully and he quickly dropped his eyes from hers before she was able to read the expression in them.  So here it was, punishment for his sins, finally and irrevocably come home to roost.  He wondered absently why it had taken so long, before recognising the stupidity of that question almost immediately; he wouldn't have truly been able to appreciate all that hell had to offer until he'd experienced its polar opposite.

'Yes there is,' she persisted when he said no more.  'Tell me.'  

Severus looked reluctantly up, finally meeting and holding her worried gaze squarely and carefully betraying none of the misery he felt hammering at his chest wall.  'Very well if you really must know, I have absolutely no desire to have children and I'm concerned from your tone that you seem to be under the misapprehension that some day we will do so.'  Snape watched, outwardly impassive, while she struggled to form an appropriate response through her obvious shock at his blunt words.  

'I… see,' she said finally.  'When I said that - about my parents - I was just… thinking out loud.  I didn't mean to sound as though I was presuming anything, or make you feel awkward,' she continued carefully, but he could see how difficult this conversation was for her – her hands wouldn't sit still in her lap and her lower lip trembled slightly.  'I wasn't – I wasn't asking you for anything you're not ready for Severus.'

'It is not a question of being ready, I simply do not wish to have children either now, or at any point in the future.'

Lois nodded jerkily, standing from the sofa and taking a few hesitant steps towards him.  'Severus, I know you have a reputation for being hard on the children, especially those outside of Slytherin, but even with all your gruffness and impatience you can't _truly_ hate them.  Why would you be teaching all these years if you felt that way?'

'I teach because that is what Dumbledore asked of me, and at the time I was in no position to refuse him his request.  The students however, have never ceased to be anything other than a chore.'  That at least he could say with the utmost honesty. 

'Even so, if it were your own child I'm sure you would feel different,' Lois said a little weakly, doubt creeping into her voice now.

Snape breathed in deeply in an attempt to quell his rising nausea.  'I would feel no differently,' he said with finality.  'I can see now Lois that I have been unfair to you in allowing our relationship to continue.'

'What?' Lois gasped disbelievingly, her eyes wide and stunned.  'No!  That's just crazy!  I mean… I mean, I won't deny I'm disappointed that you feel this way, desperately so, but that doesn't mean I want our relationship to _end_,' she said in a rushed, breathless voice.  'Plenty of couples don't have children for any number of reasons, and whether we ever do or not, _you're_ what's important to me.  I love you too much to let it come between us, and you love me too Severus, I know you do!'

'That isn't exactly true I'm afraid.  I _am_ extremely fond of you Lois.  I consider you excellent company and I won't deny I've enjoyed our time together, but it was never my intention to allow us to become involved in the first place, let alone for our relationship to develop into what it is now.   Of course, I wouldn't have dreamed of even broaching the subject while the uncertainty of the wandless magic was hanging over our heads, but as we now have a satisfactory answer for that…' He shrugged expressively, regret clear in his voice. 

His words had apparently rendered Lois temporarily incapable of speech he realised, as she stared dumbly up at him, her mouth opening once before closing again with a sharp snap.  Purposely calling to mind again the sick images in the photographs Moody had shown him, Snape drew himself up to his full height to stare down at her implacably from behind hooded eyes.  'I think Lois, all things considered, it would be best if we finish this before it goes any further.'

'Any further?'  Lois repeated incredulously, anger slowly taking the place of shock.  'Any further!  What the hell are you playing at Severus – how much further do you think it can bloody well go?  And what do you mean, _you_ _never meant to get involved with me_?  You told me yourself that you lied about Remus!  Why would you have done something like that if you weren't attracted to me, if you didn't have any feelings for me?'

'I _did_ feel something for you.  I _do_ feel something for you – I wanted you from the moment I saw you, I probably always will and more than that, over time I came to realise how much I liked and admired you too.  But it isn't love Lois.  I'm sorry.'

'But… but I love you!' she cried sounding almost lost, the swift anger gone from her voice now leaving it hollow and scared.

Snape's eyes flickered briefly shut, and he used the blessed few seconds of darkness to force back the flood of self-loathing that hit him, her obvious pain nearly cutting him in two.  'I realise that now Lois, and it is the reason I cannot allow our affair to continue, it would be cruel of me.  As for my lies regarding Lupin, I'm afraid, as you already know, I have no real excuse for my actions; it was a spur of the moment decision that had I given it any true thought to, I would not have made.  I cannot deny however, that I would have found it extremely… _difficult_ to see you involved in a relationship with a fellow professor when it was something I had denied myself, so perhaps subconsciously I knew exactly what I was doing.  Something else for which I am profoundly sorry.'

Lois waved away his explanation with an impatient, growling sound, apparently uninterested at the moment in _why_ their affair had begun.  'Damn it, Severus, this just doesn't make any sense!  I've told you I love you hundreds of times before and whether it's said or not, declarations of love generally go hand in hand with at least _thoughts_ of marriage.  Why is it suddenly a problem now?' she demanded brokenly.

'Because I never truly believed you meant it before,' he said simply.

'Why wouldn't you think I meant it?'  

'For a number of reasons Lois, chiefly the fact that I am hardly a loveable man, and in my defence, you never once asked for the words in return,' he pointed out with a carefully manufactured hint of censure. 'Which naturally led me to believe that your emotions were not as deeply involved as your words suggested.'    

'I didn't want to pressure you,' Lois murmured dazedly, lifting a shaking hand to her forehead.  'I felt sure, with enough time…' she trailed off vaguely, her eyes blank and unfocussed as her thoughts turned inwards.

Snape nodded with tender understanding.  'I care for you too much to allow you to believe there is any future for the two of us, and this talk of children has forced me to realise that your feelings run much deeper than mine.   I have no plans to ever marry Lois, and fond of you though I am, the idea of permanency holds no lure for me.' 

If he had attempted to be cruel or denied he felt anything, Lois would have immediately known it was a lie, but as it was, his confession of strong feelings – but just not love - and the honest regret on his face, mirrored so closely what she had feared in the back of her mind for such a long time, that it seemed crushingly plausible.

But even so, after all they had shared this couldn't possibly be it. 

'Wait, I… you haven't really given us a chance yet Severus, all of this,' she said with a fluttering wave, moving a step closer towards him, 'is much too sudden!  One second we're fine and the next…  Look, perhaps you _don't_ love me yet, but that doesn't mean you never will,' she urged, her hands reaching out to grasp his.  'And even if you don't, you've warned me now; the decision as to whether or not I can accept that is mine to make.'

'No,' he said implacably, gently disengaging her hands from his and taking a step back.  'I refuse to do that to you and once you have calmed down, you will realise that you would only grow to hate me if I did.'  

'So that's your final word on the subject then is it?' she demanded suddenly, a wild look in her eyes.  'All knowing Severus Snape has made his decision and I'm supposed to just meekly agree and toddle off without a fuss?  What about if I'm already pregnant, have you given a single thought to _that_ possibility?' she said with an accompanying sharp jab to his chest with her index finger.  'What if in the midst of my crazy schedule just lately I accidentally forgot to take my contraceptive potion?  And lets face it, given how often we make love, oh sorry, _have_ _sex_,' she amended with a harsh laugh, 'and your reluctance to ever cast the old _Swish Flick Condomi_, an unplanned pregnancy wouldn't really be that big a turn-up for the books now would it?' she asked with icy sarcasm. 

Frantic hope clawed at Snape's insides as he stared back at her, the burning glitter in his hooded black gaze the only hint to his true emotions.  If she was pregnant the decision was out of his hands; he _couldn't_ send her away if she was carrying his child.

'Are you saying you are pregnant?'   

'Why, would it make a difference?' she demanded, rare bitterness clouding her face.  'What would you do if I am?' 

_Marry you_, he heard a small voice inside his head answer without hesitation, _take you into hiding and never tell a soul what I was doing, wiped your memory clear of Potter and Hogwarts, your husband and your family, in fact everything but me if that was what it took to keep you safe.  Just tell me, _he begged silently, _tell me you're pregnant.  _

'Are you?' he repeated coldly, ignoring her own question completely.

She hesitated for a second and his hope rose a notch higher, before plummeting to the ground with a unpleasant lurch when she turned away and said emotionlessly, 'No, I'm not.  But I _could_ have been and then the decision would have been taken out of both our hands.'  She swallowed with difficulty and wrapped her arms protectively around herself, lifting her head to stare sadly up at him.  'And honestly Severus, would it be that bad for us to be tied together like that?  Are you _really_ so unhappy with me?'  

Snape remained silent for long moments, the crushing disappointment leaving him briefly unable to speak.  'It is not a question of happiness Lois, it is a question of what is right,' he said when he had control of himself once more.  'Now that I know you want more from this relationship than I can ever give, allowing it to continue would be unconscionable of me.' 

'No it wouldn't!  Maybe if you were lying to me, but you're not!' she said hurriedly, her expression determined.  'Look, I've already said I don't want children yet, and I'm not exactly champing at the bit for a marriage proposal either.  I've never mentioned it have I?  You're the one who's suddenly brought it all up out of the blue like this, and really, who's to say where we'll be months, even _weeks,_ further on down the line.  Perhaps _I_ won't want to be with you by then – have you thought of that?  What's the point in throwing away what we've got right now, because of the possibility that it might not work out later on!'  

Snape felt an icy shiver of dismay run down his spine at her words.  In truth, it altered nothing and he was almost positive she was lying, but now that she had raised the doubt in his mind, like an aching tooth, he couldn't resist probing the tender area. Had he been mistaken about the depth of her feelings for him?  

'_Do_ you love me Lois?  Enough to want to marry me, have my children, spend the rest of our lives together?' he demanded, hating himself for being the cause of more pain – both hers and his own – yet some sick, twisted part of him craved the answer still.  

But what was worse – knowing or not knowing how she truly felt?

'Yes, yes, okay!' she admitted on a hitching breath, her eyes luminous in the shadowed room with a mixture of anger and unshed tears.  'You're right, I want all of those things, I want them more than anything!  Are you happy now?  Is that what you wanted to hear?'

Knowing was worse.  

'No, Lois, it isn't but it is why I cannot allow this to continue.'  

'No,' she said suddenly, shaking her head in furious denial and scrubbing impatiently at her watering eyes.  'I know what this is really all about; it's because of Moody isn't it?' she asked wrathfully and Snape froze, his eyes widening with sudden alarm that didn't have time to take hold before she stormed on.  'Because I didn't turn him down when he offered to show me those pictures he had of my family?  Damn it, Severus, I knew you were angry, but I thought if I gave you enough time to calm down… I even risked food poisoning just to stay out of your way today and _this_ is the thanks I get!' she suddenly announced bizarrely, steam practically pouring from her ears now as she worked herself into a fine rage.  'I know you can be a vicious swine when you're in a mood, but I _never_ imagined you could be heartless enough to do something like this…' 

For a moment, Severus genuinely had no idea what she was referring to, and his blank incomprehension must have shown in his face, because she stopped speaking abruptly, the hectic flush on her cheeks fading to leave her ghostly pale.  She swayed slightly were she stood, but before he could react, she seemed to gain control again, reaching out a hand to steady herself against a nearby chair, her gaze dropping dazedly from his.  

'I…  This is wrong.' she muttered almost to herself, her gaze fixed blindly on the floor in front of her.  'If it's not Moody, then something else must have happened,' she said slowly, 'something that would make you act like this.'  Her head whipped up sharply to pin him with a searching gaze.  'Have you been called to spy on Voldemort, has he threatened something?' she questioned, worryingly close to the truth.

'Nothing has happened,' Snape said his expression as impassive as his voice.  'Voldemort still does not trust me completely, so the risks I take are negligible at the moment.  My activities as a double agent have not caused this decision,' he assured, false sincerity shining from his voice.

Lois recoiled at his words, turning her face away from him again, before suddenly advancing towards him, her eyes gleaming wetly.  'So this is really it?  We're finished, just like that?' she asked with an angry snap of her fingers.

'I think it for the best,' he said simply. 'For your sake as well as mine.  The time is fast approaching when I will need to focus all of my energies on the upcoming war, and there will simply be no time for any distractions then.'

Lois stared at him as if she didn't recognise him.  'A distraction?   I'm a _distraction_?  If that's all you saw me as why did you let me fall in love with you, why did you allow us to become lovers without ever once warning me how you felt?  Even if you didn't believe I loved you at first, you had to have known it was a possibility; I didn't exactly keep my feelings a secret!  God, Severus, how could you be so bloody cruel?' 

Snape held his emotions in tight check as he prepared to deliver the final blow.  'As you will recall Lois, the first move was not mine.  It was you who initiated our lovemaking; I am a man after all, did you really expect me to refuse?' he asked in a silky soft voice, his tone becoming carefully regretful as he continued. 'And as for your declarations of love, how was I to know you truly meant what you said?  After all, the most likely explanation, was that you simply used those words to appease your guilt at betraying your husband by having sex with me.'  

He stood still as her small hand snaked out and slapped him hard across the face.  The noise was astonishingly loud in the silent room, and the sudden sound seemed to snap Lois out of the momentary fury she had been directing at him only seconds before.  

With a deep, shuddering breath, she stepped away from him, a mask like stiffness falling over her features leaving her looking as cold and fragile as ice.  Once she was no longer within touching range, she paused to look up at him distantly, her eyes dry now and her face expressionless.  'I shouldn't have done that,' she said staring emotionlessly at the vivid handprint slowly blossoming on his cheek. 'I apologise,' she continued in the same dead tone.

Severus watched grimly as she walked slowly back to the sofa and began methodically collecting her belongings together.  Unsure for once of what to do, he stood stiff and unmoving in the middle of the room, his eyes trained on her as she headed towards the bedroom, emerging minutes later clutching a large box.  He stepped instinctively forward, ready to take the heavy load from her arms, but froze as she shot him an icy glare.  

'I can manage, thank you.'

Snape grimaced at the cold finality in her voice.  He had succeeded in his task, but it gave him no pleasure.  The fact that she would be safe now, and in time happy again, was his only consolation.  Almost immediately, his mind flashed on the image of her glowing face, arms linked with some blessedly unknown man, laughing together as their children played at their feet.  That was what she deserved, what he couldn't give her.  There should have been at least some satisfaction in that thought, but he could find none.  Especially with the bitter awareness that given the comparative smallness of the wizarding world, there was a good chance he _would _know his so far faceless replacement.  

His teeth ground together in impotent rage as that notion sank in.  She and Lupin had always been far too friendly for his liking, and then there was Quade of course, who had the added bonus of resembling her late husband.  He didn't need to imagine what a child of theirs would like, he already knew.  Simple genetics decreed it would almost certainly be a blonde, blue eyed, beautiful baby, whatever the sex.  His dark imaginings of Lois and Quade strolling Hogwarts corridors arm in arm, screeched to a halt as an even more revolting thought struck him – what about Black?  No, _anything_ but that!  Black would cruelly delight in stealing Lois away from him he knew, out of simple spite if nothing else, and Potter would certainly be cock-a-hoop at having her as an adoptive godmother.  The boy would finally have what he had always so plainly hungered for – a family of his own to belong to and better yet, the woman in question would be Lois, who he was already unpleasantly possessive of as it was.

Fighting the primal urge to curse every man she'd ever met to kingdom come, Snape was suddenly brought down to earth with a savage thud, as the stark realisation swept over him that the chances of him witnessing her embarking on a new life without him were slim. Whatever happened, once her training was finished - and probably sooner if she had any say in it now - she would leave Hogwarts and with it the protection the castle afforded during these dark times.

The initial uneasy prickling that thought caused, blossomed without warning into fully-fledged dread, and Snape shuddered as though someone had walked over his grave, suddenly overcome with the inexplicable, bone deep certainty that if she left this room now, he would never see her again.  Before he could stop himself, he reached out a beseeching hand towards her, wanting to take back his words and keep her with him here, safe forever.  Missing his gesture, Lois moved abruptly, placing the last of her belongings that had gathered over the months in his room into the box, and pulling her wand lifted it fluidly into the air.  

With her action, the moment was lost and Snape felt his outstretched arm drop limply back to his side.  This was for the best he knew; his fear was irrational and borne out of the need to find an excuse, _any excuse_, to make her stay.  The cold terror however, wouldn't leave him.

'What will you do now?' he asked in a driven tone.  Luckily she seemed unaware that his resolve was crumbling before her. If her own anguish hadn't been so great, she would have been able to spot that there was something very wrong with this picture.

'Do?' she repeated coldly.  'What do you think I'll do?  Throw myself off the top of one of the towers, overcome with guilt for acting like such a slut and betraying the memory of my sainted dead husband?'  

He winced, but she was staring blindly at a point just above his head and didn't notice.  'I meant,' he continued with difficulty, 'that I hope that you will not decide to leave Hogwarts.  I would not want to be the cause of your having to uproot yourself again, that was never my intention.'

'Rest assured Severus, you needn't feel the slightest glimmer of guilt.  I will continue with my training and lessons, although I hope you'll understand that I'll be giving Potions tuition a break for a while,' she said it without any sarcasm, just a simple statement of fact.

'Achelois…'   

She didn't look back from where she stood at the threshold of his open chamber door, but said in a hollow, empty voice, 'Goodbye Severus.'

As the door closed quietly behind her, his legs finally gave way, and he sank numbly onto the low chair next to the fire, swearing furiously as something sharp dug painfully into his thigh.  Reaching into his robe pocket he pulled the offending item out, and closed his eyes as a shaft of agony shot through him.  

_The bloody engagement ring.  _

He glared down at it with passionate hatred, as though the tiny box were the cause of all his torment.  Drawing back his arm, he hurled it across the room, watching without satisfaction as it hit the inkwell on his desk, sending its contents spilling over the pile of seventh year homework scrolls lying there.  

His small spurt of anger vanished almost as soon as it had appeared and he drew in a deep breath, burying his weary head in shaking hands, never before in his entire miserable existence feeling as dead and empty inside as he did right now.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**  Gotsnape – whoops sorry!  I suppose I confused things slightly, chopping the last chapter in half like that. The Snape proposal question – I'd intended that chapter 24 and this one would be just one long chapter, but as I explained last time, I split it into two because this chapter wasn't quite ready and it had already taken me forever to post.  However, in the story, chapter 23, 24 and 25 actually all took place in the space of day.  As for where the last chapter was taking you – well it wasn't taking you anywhere _exactly_, but I needed it there because I had to drop a couple of plot points into the story for the ending to tie up.  Gawd, I hope!  :)

The 'Swish Flick Condomi' spell belongs to Rugi and Gwena and was very kindly lent to me from their wonderful, 'Tough Guide to Harry Potter.'   Last but not least, thanks again everyone for all your reviews – it's really most kind of you, especially considering how horribly unreliable I've been about updating lately.  I am trying, but life seems to have been condensed down into nothing but work and sleep just lately.  I'll make sure I get the story finished though, and hopefully sooner rather than later :)


	26. Paved with Good Intentions Part 1

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**                                                                                                                   ~ 0 ~**

Snape's irrational fear that Lois would somehow disappear from existence did not come to pass.  She was absent from breakfast and lunch the following day, but appeared in time for the evening meal, looking pale and hollow-eyed and sitting as far away from him as possible without actually joining one of the student tables.  She didn't look his way once and spoke little, leaving the room not long after he arrived without saying goodbye to anyone.  

By the following day, Snape had already come to the conclusion that seeing her, and being within touching distance of her, was more torture than even he could stand, and he resolved to retreat to his dungeons until the pain had reduced to tolerable levels.  When that might be, he had no idea.  Unfortunately, the solitude of his rooms left him with far too much time for contemplation and his mind turned, as it always did in such situations, to dark imaginings.  Lois's safety was by no means assured simply because of their break up; he had no way of knowing that talk would not get out about their time together, or for that matter, that every single member of staff could be trusted to be loyal to Dumbledore and the cause.  Not only that, something about the break-in in her room had been nagging at him as well.  The fact that despite all his efforts he had still learned nothing worried him more than he liked to admit.

In the end, he managed one full day without setting eyes on her once.  After conceding defeat to his own weak emotions and rapidly growing anxiety, he stalked the corridors between the Infirmary and the Great Hall until he finally happened upon her just before lunch.

She froze when she saw him walking towards her, her already pale face draining of all colour before she turned on her heel and practically ran back the way she had come.

'Lois –' 

Lois stumbled to a stop, but didn't turn to face him.  Her head remained downbent and one arm reached out to steady herself against a rough stone wall.

Snape opened his mouth to speak, but found that all his carefully planned speeches had deserted him.  Taking a hesitant step towards her, he saw her tense, obviously seconds away from flight.  The thought that he might lose his chance to talk to her sent hurried words spilling from his lips.

'Lois, do you have a minute?  I wanted to talk to you, I've been thinking about…' She spun round to face him and he flinched at the hopeful light that burned briefly in her eyes.  Swallowing with difficulty, he dropped his eyes from hers.  'Ah, I've been thinking about when your room was vandalised and …'

Lois made a choking noise and he trailed off again, lifting his gaze to find her staring back at him from empty eyes, all brightness gone in a heartbeat.  She lifted a hand to her mouth to muffle a broken laugh.

'It's fine.'

'What?' 

'My room,' Lois said with biting precision.  'Whatever happened hasn't happened again and I doubt it's going to either.  You don't have to worry about it or think about it, or actually, Severus, talk to me about it or anything else ever again.  If you don't mind, that is?' 

_It's only been two days_, Snape tried to reassure himself.  _Give her time; she can't hate you forever_.  Looking into her distant face, though, he couldn't help but wonder if that was true.  He opened his mouth to try again and, to his surprise, found himself utterly lost for words.   

'Was there anything else?'  Lois asked when the silence continued to grow.  

'Lois, I understand that you're angry, but I want you to know…' He paused and felt his hands clench into painful fists hidden in the folds of his robes.  'That if you ever need me, or if there is anything –'

Lois gave a strangled sob and turned her head away from his.  'No!' she said, her eyes shooting back to his to pin him with a fierce look.  'Don't do that, I couldn't bear it.'

Snape raised his shoulders in helpless question.  'Do what?'

'The "let's be friends" speech.  I love you, Severus, I don't want to be your _pal_,'she practically spat. 'Or some pathetic Muggle millstone forever around your neck, just… no.'

'That isn't what –' Snape began, but it was too late; Lois was already walking away, her swift pace increasing until she turned a corner and was lost from his sight.

***

Remus sat behind the desk in his small office, his astonishment hidden behind a carefully blank expression.  The Augurey across the room made a clanging sound as it jumped from one perch to another in its large cage.  Remus's gaze briefly shifted to the mournful looking bird as it let out a long, low moan, which seemed to sum up the mood of the room.  

An impatient huffing noise drew his attention back to the man sitting across his desk, and the current cause of his bewilderment.  Severus Snape had arrived unannounced in his office ten minutes ago.  After the briefest of knocks, the Potions Master had entered the room uninvited and prowled around the small space silently for almost a minute, picking up random books and objects from the shelves for examination in a manner that, in anyone else, Remus would have called nervous.  Finally seeming to reach a decision under Remus's increasingly confused stare, Snape had flung himself down into the chair opposite and had begun giving him a terse account of his involvement and subsequent break-up with Lois. 

'Tea, I think,' Remus said decisively, needing a few moments to gather his thoughts.  He didn't give Snape a chance to object, but as he stood, he saw the angry stiffening of the other man's shoulders.  Tea brewed and poured, he placed an unasked-for mug in front of Snape and settled himself back behind his desk with his own.  His pleasant smile faltered when he met Snape's seething glare.

'Right then, er, so this is definite is it?' Remus probed delicately.  'You and Lois are no longer… together?'  He instinctively held his breath as Snape's eyes blazed angrily back at him, before all expression was carefully stripped from them once more.

'No.' 

'I see.  Could I ask why?' Remus risked questioning, wondering vaguely when he had acquired a death wish.

'No,' Snape snarled, his face twisted with bitter dislike.  'Because there is no need for you to know.' 

'I'm not asking out of idle curiosity here, Severus, but I don't quite understand what it is that you –'

'Tell me, Lupin,' Snape interrupted tightly, 'is it utterly beyond you to simply sit and listen _without_ succumbing to the urge to leap up and prepare beverages like a demented house-elf every thirty seconds?  If so, please tell me now so that I can end this folly before it even begins.'

Remus raised his hands up in front of him.  'Not another word.' 

Snape stared at him suspiciously for long silent moments.  Finally, with an annoyed grunt, he sank back down into the chair he had half-risen from and twitched his robes into place around him.   

'As you have so cleverly deduced just by my having told you, Lois and I have had a… parting of the ways.  The circumstances are unimportant,' Snape said, with a sweepingly elegant gesture of his hands; only the brief tightening of his jaw hinting at his true feelings on the matter.  'What _is _important, however, is the fact that her rooms were broken into recently.'

'What?' Remus exclaimed sharply.  'I didn't hear about that.  What did Dumbledore have to say?'

'At Lois's request, the Headmaster is unaware of the matter,' Snape said, a look of extreme annoyance on his face.  'Nothing was taken and only some surface damage and inconvenience was caused.  As such, Lois is convinced that the act was not premeditated and prefers not to pursue it further.  I, however, am not so forgiving, nor so naïve.  Whoever did this must be caught and punished if we are to ensure that it doesn't happen again.  If the students are allowed to escape scot-free, there will be no reason for them to think they will not be as lucky a second time.'

'I see.  Well, I agree with you there, actually, but I am confused – why are you telling me this?  I haven't heard anything I'm afraid, if that's what you're thinking.'

Snape gave an exasperated snort.  'If you listened more and spoke less, Lupin, you would understand _why _I am telling you; while Lois and I are no longer on speaking terms, I am loathe to leave her without a… guardian, for want of a better word.  She is unaware that I have been pursuing this matter and also of the fact that I have set certain traps to catch the miscreant.'

Remus grimaced at the look of grim satisfaction that slid over Snape's thin face.  He thought, not for the first time, of the relief he had felt on discovering that Snape's allegiance was given firmly to Dumbledore.  Snape with a schoolboy grudge was worrying enough; the idea of him as a fully-fledged Death Eater with Voldemort's support was enough to give any sane person nightmares.  'Have you caught anyone?' he asked warily.

Snape's lips tightened.  'Not yet.  But I have one of my Slytherins asking questions amongst the students.  Hopefully he will have some answers soon.'

'Do you suspect anyone though?'  Remus pressed, leaning forward.  'Can you think of any reason why someone would do that?'

'Two.  Either, as Lois prefers to believe, a random act of violence caused by a momentary surge of teenage hormones, or…'

'Or?' Remus prompted when Snape hesitated.

'Lois has discovered a ring –'  

'Do you think someone was trying to steal –'

'Shut up, Lupin, and listen!  If when I have finished you have any further questions, I will answer them then!' Snape hissed impatiently, fury darkening his features.  Remus sat back in his chair, subduing his own angry response.  'The ring is not, I suspect, valuable for it's monetary worth but for what it is capable of – it acts as a wand would in channelling and strengthening magical energy, but is considerably more powerful.  Without knowing it, it has enabled Lois to perform acts of what we at first assumed were episodes of wandless magic.  However, the true nature of the object's abilities has now been proven.  On consideration, I think it highly possible the intruder was looking for it when they broke into Lois's chambers.'

'_That's_ how she banished the Boggart,' Remus murmured and Snape nodded.  'Who else knows about this?' he asked quickly before Snape could resume his explanation.

'Currently the two of us, Lois, Dumbledore and Moody.'  The last name was said with bitter hatred.

'No one else?'

'Lois herself didn't even know.  The ring belonged to her mother, but where it originally came from we have no idea,' Snape said with a shrug.  'At the moment Dumbledore is making discreet enquiries, but his best guess is that it was originally developed by Conall Eadon.'

Remus nodded thoughtfully, the other wizard's name familiar to him.  'But if someone _did_ want the ring, knew that it existed in the first place, why wait all this time?  Lois might not have grown up in the wizarding world, but she wasn't exactly hidden from it either. Why wait until she was an adult, and within the protection of Hogwarts to boot, before going looking for it?' 

Snape sighed heavily, and ran a hand through his hair, an unusually vulnerable action that he was unaware of.  'If I knew the answer to that, Lupin, I would hardly need to be discussing this matter with you now,' he said snidely, and Remus bit back an irritated sigh.  'It may well be utterly unrelated, however, I am loathe to leave Lois without any protection, which is where you come in.  If you can just keep an eye on her, as unobtrusively as possible, I would … appreciate it.'

'Of course,' Remus said instantly.  'And thank you for trusting me enough to tell me about –'

Snape gave a sharp bark of laughter.  'Ah, but I _don't_ trust you, Lupin.  Unfortunately I have very little choice in the matter – I made Lois a promise that I wouldn't involve Dumbledore and she refuses to have anything to do with me now.  Currently you and Madam Pomfrey are the only people she spends any significant amount of time with.  However, you would not be my first choice and probably not even my last; I'm making this request purely for her sake, and very much against my better judgement.'  

Remus felt a flicker of anger flare to life.  'What about Hugo?' he asked, his eyebrows raised in innocent query.  'Lois is with him probably as much as me – maybe more.'  He paused for a moment to let that sink in.  'It might be wise to mention this to him too.'

'No,' Snape said with a dark scowl, his face twisting into unpleasant lines. 'It is not necessary for the world and his wife to know about this, Lupin.  If you don't feel you are up to the job alone…' He stood from his chair and made towards the door.

'Fine, Severus, fine,' Remus said, standing hurriedly.  'I won't tell a soul, you have my word.'

Snape turned to look unblinkingly into the other man's calm face before finally nodding.  'Very well, and… thank you, Lupin.'  

'You're welcome, Severus,' Remus said to Snape's stiffly held back.  Snape nodded once more and left the room silently.

A whisper of sound behind him instantly vanished Remus's air of puzzlement and he whipped around, wand out, a dangerous gleam in his eyes. He let out a relieved puff of air as he spotted the large black dog edging cautiously out from behind his store cupboard door.

'Sirius, what do you think you're doing?' he demanded, his relief turning rapidly to annoyance.  'Have you been in there all this time?' His eyes widened worriedly. 'Were you _listening?_'

The large dog gave an expressive shrug of its massive shoulders, transforming as it did to reveal a tall, dishevelled looking man.  'And hello to you, too,' he said with a grin, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

'Damn it, Sirius, I mean it – what are you doing in my cupboard?'

Sirius gave another, more human, shrug.  'Waiting for you.  I've been here for hours – I fell asleep in the end.  Where have you been?' 

Remus bit back his amusement at Sirius's disgruntled expression.  'Teaching, which is strangely, a requirement for the position of teacher.  So, you didn't hear any of… that?'

'No.  Practically nothing.'

'_Practically_ nothing?'

'Well, once I woke up, bits and pieces, obviously.  Nothing that old Snape would object to though, I'm sure'

'When – _precisely_ – did you wake up?' Remus pressed, noting the gleam in his friend's eyes. 

'Well, it was the smell that woke me initially, an odd mixture of grease and… oh, how can I explain it?  Just this essence of… _gittiness_, I suppose is the best way to –'

'Oh God, you heard it all didn't you?' Remus muttered.   He sank back down onto his chair and buried his head in his hands.  'I promised him I wouldn't tell a soul–'

'And you didn't!' Sirius immediately exclaimed.  'Is it your fault the idiot doesn't even think to do a quick privacy spell?  Of course it isn't!  And if you ask me, this lax attitude to security also casts serious doubt on his abilities as spy, not to mention –'

'No, don't mention,' Remus said, lifting his head to shoot a grinning Sirius a deadly glare.  'I swear, Sirius, if this gets back to him I'll put you to sleep permanently!'

Sirius waved the threat away unworriedly.  'It won't, don't panic.  Bit of a relief, though, eh?'

'What is?'

'That Lois has finally come to her senses – although she'd have to have been pretty mixed-up to go for him in the first place, I suppose.'

'Well, we don't know what's gone on,' Remus felt obliged to point out.  'Maybe it was his decision.'

Sirius hooted scornfully.  'Yeah, right, _that's _what happened.'  His face scrunched into a look of disgust.  'Nah, he must've finally gone too far, I mean who knows what kind of stuff that weirdo's into, although she certainly doesn't seem the type to go for it,' he continued musingly.  'Probably the culture shock left her vulnerable and it's taken her till now to realise what he's like.'

Remus grimaced.  'I really don't think he's –'

'I mean honestly, Remus, can you imagine having that crawling into bed with you night after night.'  He gave a small shudder.  'It doesn't bear thinking about.'

'So let's not!'

Sirius grinned broadly.  'Going to give you nightmares is it?'

'It will if you don't stop right now!'

Sirius stood from his slumped position against the desk and stretched lightly.  'Come on then, you old woman; I'll spare your delicate sensibilities and you can take me over to see Harry instead.  He should be out at Quidditch practice now and after that I'll come and wait back here till you've got a break so you can take me up to Dumbledore.  Make sure you leave the door unlocked,' he instructed, 'oh, and see if you can bring me something from lunch would you?  I'm starved.'

Remus raised his eyebrows quizzically.  'That's everything is it?' 

'I think so, yeah,' Sirius said with a nod.

Remus waited until Sirius was back in his Animagus form and standing impatiently by the classroom door before he conjured a lead.  Turning and catching sight of it at the last moment, the large dog backed away with a low growl, but Remus had the chain over his neck and pulled tight before he could make a move to escape.  Opening the door and stepping out into the corridor he gave the lead a tight yank and grinned down into the indignant furry face that glared balefully back up at him. 

***

Lois walked blindly down the corridor, her eyes blurry with tears and only the indistinct flickering of the burning lamps on the walls on either side of her keeping her on track like runway lights.  She had continued to make an appearance at meal times, mostly to stop Poppy from worrying any more than she already was, but she was quickly coming to realise that she wouldn't be able to keep up the charade for much longer.  She definitely couldn't eat; her stomach seemed to be constantly knotted with misery and sitting so close to Severus that she could practically smell him, was too painful for words.   

The rest of the staff were obviously aware that something had happened between them and she already hated being around their carefully couched conversation.  All she wanted to do was to shut herself in her chambers and be allowed to wallow in her misery, but even that retreat was denied her.  When she hadn't arrived in the Infirmary the morning after the break-up, Poppy had come looking for her and Lois had sobbed the whole sorry story out in the plump matron's comforting arms.  Since then, Poppy refused to leave her alone.  And although she didn't insist that Lois continue with her duties in the Infirmary, she had made her spend her days in the office ostensibly studying, but more truthfully, sat staring blankly at nothing until lunch or the evening meal came around, at which time the mediwitch would chivvy her down into the Great Hall and the pretence of eating.

Tonight however, Poppy had been needed in the Infirmary and Lois had had no intention of sitting at the High Table feeling her heart crack more painfully open with every breath she took.  She had made it through the soup course and had then excused herself to her nearest dining companions, pleading a headache and brushing away the concern of her colleagues with vague smiles.  

'Lois!'

_Damn._  Her step faltered and Lois hesitated, wondering if she could pretend she hadn't heard.

'Lois, hang on a minute!'

_Apparently not._  She forced a pleasant smile into place and turned to face her tormentor; his long strides had him beside her within seconds.  'Remus, is something wrong?'

His worn face was worried as he examined her searchingly in the dim light.  'No, nothing wrong, I just wondered how you were.  You were looking a little pale at dinner and we don't seem to have had chance to talk for a few days.'

Lois shrugged.  'I'm fine, I've just been busy.  And I'm probably pale because of the headache – too much reading in bed by candlelight.  What I wouldn't give for a decent bedside lamp,' she said with a small smile.  'Anyway, I'm sure an early night will sort it out, so if you don't mind…?'

'Of course,' Remus said instantly.  'If you think that's what you need?' 

Lois felt herself filling up at the warm concern battering at her.  'Yes,' she choked out, her eyes dropping from his.  'I just need some sleep.'

'Okay, I'll walk you to your rooms.  Ah, ah, ah,' he said when she opened her mouth to protest.  'I rarely get the chance to play the gentleman, don't spoil it for me now,' he commanded, reaching down to cup her elbow and guide her down the hall.

Lois felt her mood lighten at the slow pace Remus set for them, almost as though he was escorting an elderly aunt whose fragile bones couldn't take anything more energetic.  All she needed now was a shawl to complete the image of a doddering old maid – if she kept up the pathetic image she was obviously currently projecting, she could well find herself being propelled up and down the corridors in a bath chair before the week was out.

She twisted her head to glance over at Remus who was staring straight ahead, carefully avoiding looking at her.  'Weren't you hungry?' 

A smile briefly touched his lips.  'Not really, and the soup was very filling.  You?'

'No.  I don't seem to have much of an appetite lately.'

'Yes, I've noticed.'  Remus stopped in the arch of a stairway and turned her to face him.  He hesitated for a moment before speaking again.  'Look, I don't know exactly what's happened between you and Severus, but if you want to talk –'

Lois shook her head frantically, feeling the dreaded tears that were never far away prickling at her eyes.

' – or if there's anything I can do –'

'There isn't!' she almost shouted.  Lois sucked in a deep, gulping breath, feeling her fingernails digging into her skin as she wrapped her arms around herself, fighting to keep control.  'We haven't had an argument,' she continued in a slightly less desperate tone, 'and this isn't some misunderstanding that can be talked through or overcome.  He just … he doesn't love me enough to want to be with me anymore, and the only thing I can do to make it better is accept it.'   

A thoughtful look appeared on Remus's face.  'That's why you broke up?' he asked gently and she nodded jerkily.  'But… what brought it on, had the two of you been having problems before that?'  

'No, nothing like that.  Everything had been fine really,' Lois said with an edge of bewilderment to her tone.  'I'd just made some offhand comment about children's names and the next thing I knew he was telling me it wasn't fair to me to carry on as we had been, knowing how he felt about me.'  

'I'm sorry,' Remus said, but still with that same thoughtful look on his face.

'Yeah,' Lois said, letting out a deep sigh.  'Me too.'

They turned without speaking and started up the staircase in front of them.  'You know,' Remus began slowly, 'there's something that doesn't seem quite right about all this.'

Lois gave an alarmingly bitter snort.  'There's nothing _quite right_ about this.'

Remus grimaced apologetically.  'No, I meant… look, if anyone had asked me before today why the two of you had split up, I'd have put every last Galleon I own on it being you leaving him and instead …' He shrugged eloquently.

Lois ruthlessly extinguished the glimmer of hope that leapt to life at Remus's words and shook her head sadly.  'No, Remus, I've been through this with Severus.  I argued with him till I was blue in the face and he wasn't having any of it – there's nothing anyone could say or do that was going to change his mind.'

'Well, he's always seemed exceptionally jealous of you in the past – have you thought about using that?'

'I don't want him if I have to trick him into being with me!  No, that's not true,' she amended softly.  'Right at this moment, I don't think there's anything I wouldn't try, but I'd just be fooling myself, wouldn't I?  Anyway, he'd probably guess what I was up to straight away.'  She angled her head away from Remus, her hair swinging forward to cover her face, her whole posture one of slumped despair.  

'Not necessarily,' Remus said, his expression worried as he studied her drooping head.  'And I could help you if you want.'

Lois straightened and looked over at him, curiosity momentarily getting the better of her.  'You could?  How?' 

'Um, you could come to my chambers for tea?' Remus suggested slowly.

'What, and that's supposed to make Severus jealous?  How would he even know?' 

'We could invite him along.' 

'Doesn't that rather defeat the whole purpose of it all – you know, an _invitation _to a tea party isn't likely to stir anyone into a jealous rage,' Lois said dispiritedly.

'Not generally, no, but I thought when he got there the two of us could be naked.'              

Lois gave a surprised huff of laughter, which was almost immediately replaced with a look of despair.  'Listen, Remus, I know you're just trying to cheer me up and thank you for that, but honestly, you're wasting your time here,' she said wanly.  'I'm really… it's just not going to work.'

'Lois, come now, it's not that bad.  I know it probably seems that way at the moment, but it'll get better.  In fact, I'm still not convinced –'

'Okay, if this is going to turn into the conversational equivalent of a few verses of "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow" then you can just forget it,' Lois snapped, her seesawing emotions suddenly veering swiftly into impatience, which wasn't helped by the blank gaze the tall man levelled on her at her words.  'Bloody half-soaked, useless _wizards_,' she muttered.  'Can't even be bothered to learn enough about Muggle culture to know when they're being insulted.'

She just caught sight of Remus's hurt expression turning quickly to dismay before it was lost to her tear-blurred vision.  She lifted a hand to her mouth and choked out a hurried apology, before turning and making a dash for the staircase in front of her.  She had only managed two steps when she felt her arm grasped in a strong grip, halting her escape.

'Remus, let me _go_!  I want to go to my room!'

'Being alone in your room is the last thing you need right now,' he insisted, while an enraged Lois struggled to pull her arm free.  But the effort of holding back the threatening tears seemed to have weakened her.  'Here, here,' Remus soothed as she let out a frustrated sob.  He half-dragged, half-carried her protesting figure into a nearby empty classroom and pushed her down onto a chair.  'There's no need for this, Lois.'

'But there is!' she hiccoughed, raising drenched eyes to his. 'I've _tried_ to be brave, Remus, I have, but everyone keeps giving me advice, or… or pitying looks except – except for Severus of course, who barely looks at me at all!' She felt warm arms surrounding her and gave in to the grief that was tearing at her chest, tears finally breaking free as she turned and buried her face instinctively into the comforting warmth of his embrace.  

She had no idea how much time passed before the sobs began to subside, but with the return of control came swift embarrassment.  Pushing herself upright, Lois raised trembling hands to hide her face as she struggled desperately to get hold of herself.  She felt something brush against her spread fingers and reflexively grasped the tissues she found herself holding.  'Thank you,' she said huskily, wiping at her streaming eyes and blowing her nose.  Finally, feeling strangely hollow, but slightly more composed, she sat wearily back in her chair and lifted tired eyes to meet Remus's concerned gaze.

'I can't stay here, you know.'

Remus blinked, surprised.  'I haven't kidnapped you, Lois!  I just thought it would do you good to get it all out –'

'No.' She waved his hurried explanation away.  'I mean here at Hogwarts.  I can't stay.'

'Oh.  Oh!'  Remus's look of surprise instantly changed to one of worry.  'Now hang on a minute, I really don't think you need to go that far, and, with things the way they are at the moment, you'd be a fool to leave Hogwarts.  Whatever else is going on between the two of you, I'm positive Severus wouldn't want to be responsible for chasing you away – quite apart from the fact that while you're here with us you'll be…' He paused then, an arrested expression coming briefly over his face. '… safe.  Severus would never forgive himself if anything he did put you at risk.' 

Lois rolled her eyes.  'Face it, Remus, I'm more Muggle than witch, and I doubt this little sojourn into the magical world is going to put me at any more risk than any other Muggle.'

'Is that your plan, then?  To turn your back on your magic altogether?' 

'I'm not sure,' Lois confessed with a small shrug.  'I haven't really thought it all through yet, I just… I can't stay here and be around him all the time, I'll never get over him that way.'  Her voice broke on the last words and she raised her hands to scrub impatiently at her watering eyes.  With a curse, she dropped her hands away, blinking painfully and shaking her head.

'Are your eyes sore?' Remus asked sympathetically.  When she nodded in response, he reached over to lift her chin up with his finger, examining her face closely.  'They don't look too bad…' He gave a soft huff of surprise.  'A concealing charm?' he questioned, when her ashen, but otherwise unaffected face, suddenly slipped to reveal a ravaged wreck of hollowed, bloodshot eyes and tear tracks.  Her lips and features were drawn and grey with fatigue.  

'Yeah.' Lois gave a weak smile and pocketed her wand.  'I can't seem to pull off elegant suffering – Poppy said I looked like death warmed over, but I know she's worried and I didn't want Se– I didn't want anyone seeing me like this, and makeup just wasn't going to do it.  It's hard to keep it in place though; I had to ask Hermione Granger for help in the end.  At first I couldn't get it to work at all and then later it just looked too perfect.  Even now that I'm better at it, it still keeps slipping if I don't concentrate.'

Remus leaned forward as she murmured the spell to drag the charm back into place.  'Looks okay now,' he assured her with a nod.

'Hmm, shame it doesn't make me feel better instead of just looking better,' Lois muttered.  She rummaged in her pockets and pulled out a folded square, which she shook open and laid across her forehead and eyes, the remainder of it dropping over her mouth, muffling her apology.  

'What's that?'

Lois gave a soft groan of pleasure.  'It's a Headache, Hayfever and Hangover Handkerchief.  Hugo gave it to me when I ran into him in the staff room the other day.  I was still having some problems with the spell then and I think he pretty much saw straight through it.'  She lifted a corner of the while muslin to view Remus through a single reddened eye.  'Would the Ministry of Magic arrest me, do you think, if I went into business selling Wizarding cures to Muggles?'  She didn't wait for a reply, allowing the cloth to fall back into place and giving a relieved sigh as she felt her headache lessen and the tight, burning sensation in her eyes begin to fade.

'You should talk to Dumbledore,' Remus said abruptly.  Lois whipped the cloth from her face and stared back at the man in front of her, horrified.  Remus shook his head quickly.  'Not about you and Severus, I meant about where you could go to finish your education if you left here.  That's if you aren't serious about pursuing a career hawking wizarding contraband, of course.'

Lois relaxed again and then her expression darkened as she sighed morosely. 'I suppose I should.  I hadn't thought of going somewhere else.'   

Remus became suddenly brisk.  'It would be a shame to throw all your hard work away over a failed romance.'

'Is that all you think this is!'    

'I think I don't like to see you like this,' Remus said quietly, and Lois felt her anger subside to be replaced again by hollow misery.

'Enough of that,' Remus insisted, pulling her firmly to her feet.  'I'm taking you back to my chambers for something to eat, accompanied by a very large and very alcoholic drink, after which, I will escort you back to your rooms where you will sleep like a baby and awake in the morning feeling like a new woman.'

'I don't think –'

'Or, if you'd prefer to spend another night sleepless and miserable, you can go back to your chambers alone now and then tomorrow we can go ahead with my naked tea plan.'  Remus's lips twitched at her instantly alarmed expression.  'Ham sandwiches and Firewhisky it is.'

***

As the expected knock came at her chamber door, Lois gave herself one last look in the mirror to check that the Concealing Charm was still in place.  Her crying jags had settled somewhat over the past few days, but her sleep patterns hadn't improved, so she was still decidedly pale and heavy eyed without some sort of assistance to her appearance.  Satisfied that her spell was good enough to convince a fifteen-year-old boy at least, she moved to let him in.

'Harry,' she said, smiling.

He grinned in return and moved past her into the room, seating himself in one of the comfy chairs by the fireside and reaching hungrily for a biscuit from the plate she had laid out on the small table close by.  

'I got your note, Lois,' he mumbled through a mouthful of crumbs.  'What's up?'

'You're a suspicious little soul, Harry Potter.  Why does anything have to be up?' 

He shrugged.  'No reason, I've just never known you to send an owl before.'

'Huh, and with good reason, I see now,' Lois said, glossing over the fact that the real reason she had resorted to a written note, was that she was too frightened to lift her head at mealtimes and risk exposing her misery to anyone's passing gaze.  'The school owls aren't overly obliging about delivering letters in cold weather, are they?' she continued with a grimace, remembering the rather uppity bird she had the misfortune to select for her first attempt at owl post.  'You'd have thought I was sending it off to its death!' 

'I think its because they don't really belong to anyone; Hedwig never complains, well… not unless I _don't _use her.'

'I'm probably going to need an owl,' Lois murmured.  Her forehead creased in a thoughtful frown as she wondered vaguely where you brought owls from and whether you had to train them like homing pigeons before they could be safely used to deliver post.

'What for?' Harry asked curiously.  'I didn't think you knew any witches or wizards outside of here.'

Lois brushed his question away under the guise of pouring more tea and opening another packet of biscuits.  'I think you must have lost your appetite and found a donkey's,' she teased when his eyes lit up at the sight of them.

'Nah, I missed lunch – we had Quidditch practice and I haven't been for dinner yet.  I thought I'd go down afterwards.'

Lois reached over and rapped his knuckles with a teaspoon, causing Harry to give a surprised yelp and the chocolate digestive he held to drop back onto the plate.  'Put that down!  That's not a proper meal!  Come on,' she said standing.  'We'll have dinner first and talk later.'

'No, it's okay, we can go after,' Harry protested, refusing to budge from his warm seat by the fire.  'Anyway, I'm not really hungry now.'  He pulled an apologetic face at Lois's scowl. 

'What a surprise,' she muttered, sitting back down and neatly removing the half full plate from the table and putting it on the floor by the side of her. 'I'm amazed half the school isn't suffering from malnutrition the way you all eat.  I don't think anyone would bat an eyelid if none of you ate nothing but puddings from one term to the next.'

'Even if I did it would still be better than the food I get at the Dursleys,' Harry said with an unworried shrug.

'What do you mean?'  Lois asked with foreboding.  Had they been starving him?  He had been awfully thin when she'd first met him, although he'd filled out a little over the course of the year.  

'The school nurse put Dudley on a diet, so Aunt Petunia made us all go on it – grapefruit for breakfast and lettuce for lunch.'  

'Is that all!'

'It wasn't really that bad,' Harry said immediately.  'And everybody sent me some food, so I was okay.  Better than Dudley, anyway.' 

Lois frowned.  'I know you have a hard time of it with your family, Harry, and that you don't get on, but they're not cruel to you, are they, physically I mean?'

'No, nothing like that.'  He shook his head firmly. 'They just hate having to have me in their house, so they do everything they can to make it uncomfortable.  I don't think they'd hit me though, well, apart from a clip round the ear from Uncle Vernon now and again.'

Lois was dismayed by how casually Harry spoke about his treatment, as though it was completely normal.  'Harry, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that deep down they probably do love you, because I'm not entirely sure they're capable of that, but from what you've said, I really think it's magic that they hate rather than you.  Unfortunately, you came along looking just like your dad and turning cushions into kangaroos like your mum – or whatever it was you did first – and scared them.  You shouldn't take it personally if it seems as if they don't like you sometimes.'

'Are you kidding?'  Harry asked, looking astounded.  'I don't mind that at all!  I mean you've met them, Lois, how would you feel if they liked you?'  

'Good point,' Lois admitted with a reluctant half-laugh.  What type of person would you have to be for the Dursleys to consider you good company?   She shuddered to think.  'Still, I can see it wouldn't have been easy growing up like that.'

'It wasn't fun,' he admitted easily.  'It still isn't, but I don't think I ever really wished for them to treat me like family.  I suppose if I ever dreamed about anything to do with the Dursleys, it was what it would have been like if they hadn't ever taken me in at all.' 

Lois gave a heavy sigh, regretting the coming conversation more than ever.  Harry seemed to somehow pick up on her reluctance and shot her a curious look.

'Er, Lois, did you ask me here to talk about the Dursleys, or…?'

'No, no,' Lois said hurriedly, standing up and heading towards her bedroom, re-emerging moments later with a large plastic gift bag bursting at the seams.  'Nothing so grim; I invited you round so I could give you your Christmas presents.'

Harry looked immediately horrified, his green eyes widening in panic behind his glasses. 'What now?  It's not Christmas yet!  I mean, I haven't got you …'  

Lois chucked, halting his explanation and feeling genuinely amused for the first time in what seemed like forever.  'Relax, I know I'm early and I didn't expect you to get me anything anyway, but I won't be here for the holidays, so I thought…' She trailed off as misery swamped her again.  To her relief, Harry didn't notice her change of mood this time.

'I was going to get you something,' he said awkwardly.  'It's a Hogsmeade weekend next week so Ron and me were going to do our shopping then.  Hermione's already done hers.  I'll have to owl you your present if you won't be here.'

'I've told you don't worry about it,' she assured him.  She lifted the heavy sack and dropped it onto his lap with a grin.  'Happy nearly Christmas, Harry.'

He smiled back at her, his embarrassment disappearing to leave him looking surprised but pleased.  'Are these all for me?'

'Yep, I've got something for Ron and Hermione too, but it's not in there – I thought you could give them their presents on Christmas morning for me.'

'Er, shall I open them now or wait?'

Lois hesitated.  On the one hand she really wanted to see his face when he opened them, but on the other, if as she suspected he didn't usually get many presents, he might prefer to keep them until them until Christmas day.  'It's up to you,' she said finally.  'Would you rather wait or –' the rest of her words were drowned out by the sound of ripping paper. 

'Oh, wow, Lois, thanks!' Harry said pulling away the last scraps of wrapping paper to reveal a portable CD player.

'I know it won't work in Hogwarts,' she said quickly, 'but I thought it might come in handy in the summer holidays – save you having to listen to Dudley.'  She pointed to a small envelope that could just be seen peeping out of the bag.  'That's to go with it.'

Harry tore it open to reveal a gift certificate.  Lois shrugged, smiling.  'I have _no_ idea what music you like to listen to, so I thought to be on the safe side…'

'I don't think I even know what Muggle music I like listening to,' Harry admitted thoughtfully, and Lois felt another shiver of sorrow for him.  

Harry placed the box and envelope on the table and began to dig into the bag again.  He expressed his pleasure with the Muggle board games she had brought him – wizarding ones seemed to do nothing but explode or transform bodily parts so she had steered clear of them – and he placed each gift carefully on the table before he opened the next.  The final few packages all contained clothes; jeans, t-shirts and jumpers and a couple of jackets that she was sure would fit, unlike the normal things he wore.  Harry stood up and pulled a navy sweatshirt over his head and looked down at himself approvingly when it didn't reach his knees.

'Thanks, Lois, how did you know my size?'

'I didn't, but Professor Sprout told me they keep all the students' measurements at Madam Malkin's, so I went there after I did the rest of my shopping in London.'

'Madam Malkin's sell Muggle clothes?' Harry asked, surprised.  'I wish I'd known that before.'

'Well they do, but I don't think they're Muggle brands,' Lois said, picking up a t-shirt and pulling the tag out to show him.

Harry squinted at the yellow threads that were stitching and unstitching themselves into words almost faster than could be read.  'Markham Mango Wizard Wear?' he said slowly. 

'Perhaps you'd better cut off the labels before you go home for the summer – I doubt your aunt will be impressed,' Lois said with a shrug.  'And anyway, all that movement on the back of your neck would probably itch too.'

Harry nodded, but was already moving on to the last of the packages.  His pleasure dimmed a little as he discovered a dozen pairs of socks next and then his face grew flushed as he tore at metallic red paper to unearth a pile of boxer shorts.

'Remember, Harry, "clothes maketh the man,'" Lois said solemnly, as his horrified expression grew. 'And snazzy underclothes maketh sure the man isn't horribly embarrassed if his robes blow up over his head in a strong breeze.'

'Um, thanks, Lois.'

'I'm sorry,' Lois said, finally allowing the smile that had been threatening to appear on her face. 'I should have told you to open those two first, but honestly I'd forgotten they were there.  It's just that I thought if I was getting you outer clothes I might as well –'

'No, they're great,' Harry rushed to stay, stashing the boxer shorts in bottom of the bag and throwing the socks on top for good measure. 'It's all great,' he continued more calmly, looking up and nodding firmly. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome,' Lois said sincerely, reaching over to give his arm a quick squeeze.

'So will you be away for all of the holidays,' Harry asked, pulling a set of instructions from a box and peering at them, 'or just until New Year?'

'Er, probably a bit longer than that actually.'  

Something in her tone caught his attention and Harry lowered the booklet to his lap, his gaze curious.  'How much longer?'

Lois hesitated, cursing her cowardice and feeling the never distant pain coursing through her again as she thought of leaving Hogwarts and everyone in it.  'Well, I'm not really sure.  I need to go to St Mungo's for the next stage of my training, so I could be a while.  I… I might not be able to come back for this school year.'

'What, you're going to stay there all that time?   Why can't you just carry on living here and travel to St Mungo's instead?'

'Because I never worked up the courage to start those flying lessons,' she admitted, too depressed to even consider being embarrassed by that fact.  'But even if I had, it's still too far to commute; Scotland to London's a long way, even by broom.'

'Yeah, but you wouldn't have to fly, would you?  You could Floo or Apparate there.'

The very thought of suffering that sort of torment on a daily basis roused Lois temporarily from her gloom.  'There's no way I'm travelling by Floo powder unless it's an emergency and that goes for using a Portkey as well,' she said firmly. 'And as for Apparating, I don't know how to do it yet.' 

'You don't?  Why not?' Harry asked, obviously surprised.  'You're old enough.'

'I am, but don't forget it's not just a matter of age, Harry.  The reason wizards don't learn to Apparate until they've been studying magic for years is because it's very hard to do, and I'm nowhere near skilled enough for it yet.  I'd squelch myself –

'Splinch.'

'Oh, right, _splinch_ myself just trying to get from one side of the room to the other.'

Harry's grin almost immediately faded, replaced by a pained expression as he obviously struggled with his next words.  'What about Snape?' he finally said darkly.  'Doesn't he mind you going?'  He rolled his eyes when Lois stared dumbly back at him, unable to find a response.  'Lois, I'm not stupid, I _know _about the two of you.' 

Lois eyed him silently for long moments before finally nodding.  'No, you're not stupid, but you are a bit out of date – Professor Snape and I aren't seeing each other anymore.'

'You packed him in?' Harry asked quickly, a mixture of delight and relief evident in his tone.

'What a charming way of putting it, but no, as it happens he "packed me in."'

'What?' Harry said with flattering disbelief.

Lois swallowed painfully and twisted her head to stare into the flickering flames of the fire.  'Yes, well, anyway, that doesn't matter; the point is Professor Snape doesn't have an opinion on where I finish my training.'

'Finish it?' Harry said sharply.  'Aren't you coming back at all?'  

'No, no, I didn't mean that, I just meant he won't… care what I do.  Look, it's not forever, Harry,' Lois said bracingly, if not entirely truthfully.  She was trying her best to put a brave face on her misery, but it was getting harder by the minute.

Harry's green eyes narrowed suspiciously.  'Is he making you go?' 

'Of course not!  I just think it's for the best at the moment if I'm not here.'

'Perhaps you should wait till after Christmas before you decide,' Harry said.  'I mean, I felt like running away when everyone thought I was Slytherin's heir, but I didn't and then after a bit it was all okay again.  Maybe if you hang on –' 

'I won't change my mind, so there's no point in waiting and I'm not running away, I'm just… walking briskly in the opposite direction.'  She squirmed slightly under Harry's disbelieving stare.  'Okay, I'm running.  But that's not necessarily a bad thing.  Sometimes there's nothing to be gained by staying like there was for you.  Sometimes it's not being brave, it's being stupid and foolishly unrealistic.  Someday…' she stopped and sighed, looking away from him for a moment before raising bleak eyes to meet his again.  'I was going to say, someday you'll understand, but, Harry, I hope to God you never do.'

Harry hesitated for a moment, examining her face closely before nodding.  'Okay.'

'Okay?  Do you mean okay, you think I'm right, or okay, you think I'm an idiot?'  Lois asked, struggling to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

'Okay, I think you're an idiot,' Harry said solemnly, a smile edging along his unwilling lips.

Lois smiled back, her eyes brighter than normal.   'And they say Hermione's the smart one.' 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N** Well, if anyone has remembered they were ever reading this story and have got this far, I'm incredibly sorry for the length of time between updates – I know I'm horribly unreliable, but better late than never.  Er, maybe.  :)

Anyway, this chapter is dedicated with immense gratitude to every single person who sent me an encouraging review or e-mail during the last – eek! _12_ months! – and also to the kind folks who I think were perhaps just checking in to make sure I wasn't dead. :)  Last, and definitely not least, many thanks to Axelle for the excellent beta reading and all the gentle nudges that kept me going whenever I was being lazy or cowardly and very often both.  ;)   


	27. Paved With Good Intentions Part 2

Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**                                                                                                                   ~ 0 ~**

Sitting in Dumbledore's office for one of their regular meetings to apprise him of any new developments within Voldemort's ranks, Severus turned in his chair as he heard a rap on the large wooden door behind him.  His vague curiosity gave way to frozen hostility at the sight of Lupin and the transforming figure of Black making their way into the room.

'Ah, Severus,' Remus said, his gaze flickering warily between the two men.  'Is Professor Dumbledore not here?'

Snape's eyes narrowed as Black swaggered over towards Dumbledore's desk, his tame keeper trailing more slowly behind.  'Obviously not.' 

'Well, do you know when he's going to be back?' Remus asked, placing himself deliberately in front of Snape and blocking Black instantly from his vision. 

'He shouldn't be long; he was called away to a private Floo message in his rooms,' Snape bit out.

'Didn't want you listening in, eh?'  Sirius asked, bouncing into view over Remus's left shoulder. 'Looks like Dumbledore doesn't trust you quite as much as you like to think.' 

Snape smiled nastily.  'I realise that animals have no understanding of the concept of privacy, Black, but given that you do on occasion return to your human form, I would have thought you'd have managed to acquire at least _some_ notion of it by now.  But then, I suppose there are those that will always struggle in their attempts to understand the workings of the civilised world.'

'Hit a bit of a nerve there, did I, Snape?' Sirius asked, his face scrunched into falsely apologetic lines.  'You really shouldn't be so sensitive about it - I can't think of a single other Death Eater Dumbledore would allow into the school to teach.'  Sirius raised an open palm to slap himself on the forehead.  'What am I saying?  I meant _ex_-Death Eater of course!"

Snape let out a snort of disgust and turned pointedly away, his expression forbidding.

Remus gave a small, apologetic cough, which Snape completely ignored.  'Ah, Sirius, maybe we should come back later -'

'Forget it,' Sirius said loudly.  'I've got just as much right to be here as anyone. And I have some important news.  I'll wait till the Headmaster gets back.'

'But I have classes to get to -'

'Well then, go!'  Sirius said immediately.  'We'll be fine.  Oh, and don't worry about coming to pick me up later; Dumbledore said he'll take me down to Lois's chambers when we're finished.'  His eyes gleamed with satisfaction as he took in Snape's sudden tension, but he didn't pause in his casually spoken speech.  'I think he's quite looking forward to it - apparently his father was incredibly allergic to fur so he was never even allowed to keep so much as a Puffskein when he was a boy, let alone a dog.'   

'Did you say Lois's chambers?' Remus demanded.  His eyebrows furrowed in mingled puzzlement and suspicion.  'Why would you go there?'

'Harry asked her if we could use her rooms to meet in and she very kindly said yes,' Sirius said easily.  'It's so much nicer there than using that empty classroom up in the Astronomy Tower Dumbledore set up.  Actually, I think it's done her good too; Harry said she's seemed a bit down lately, so having dinner guests has probably taken her mind off whatever's bothering her.   You know,' Sirius said, a thoughtful frown appearing on his forehead, 'I really must get her a gift to thank her for everything she's done for the two of us the last few days.'  

'Last few days?  You've been there before?' Remus demanded sharply.

'Well, just last night - didn't I mention it?  Must have slipped my mind,' Sirius said with a dismissive wave of his hand when Remus shook his head.  'Anyway, after I'd explained I wasn't leaving until today, Lois said we were both welcome back again tonight.'  His thoughtful expression faded to one of roguish good humour.  'Maybe I could take her some nice wine - whatever it was the house-elves served last night it was pretty bad.  Not that it didn't do the trick,' he said with a hearty laugh.  'Beautiful women and wine are one of my favourite combinations.  I'm kidding, I'm kidding,' Sirius said as Remus frowned, a lecture obviously brewing.  'There's no need to look so disapproving, Moony, we waited until Harry was safely tucked up in his bed before we broke out the second bottle.  I wouldn't dream of setting him a bad example.  Okay, maybe I would,' he admitted good-naturedly when Remus's previous lowered eyebrows shot skyward in disbelief, 'but Lois certainly wouldn't.' 

Remus paused, opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again with a snap.  He hesitated for a moment longer, looked worriedly over at the far door that led to Dumbledore's private rooms, and then over to the unnaturally still figure of Snape sitting stiff-backed in his chair.  Finally, Remus shrugged his shoulders in a vaguely hopeless gesture.  'Right then, if you're all sorted, I suppose I'll be. off.'

'Bye.' Sirius beamed, reaching over to pluck a pear drop from a crystal bowl on the desk and drop it into his mouth, where he immediately began crunching loudly.  Snape turned stiffly in the chair he sat in, refusing to acknowledge the other man's departure by word or deed.

Remus let out a deep sigh and left the room without looking back.  

The tension left behind him was smothering.  In a pool of resentful silence, Snape drew his robes around him, a feeling of burning anger and frustration boiling in his stomach.  Out of the corner of his eye, he watched with clenched fists as Black began wandering around the room, pulling books and knick-knacks from the shelves at random, and pausing for a moment to stare out of the large brass telescope onto the grounds below.  With an impatient gesture, Sirius knocked the lens away and began another circuit of the room, coming to a halt as he discovered a Wizard's Wireless half hidden behind a pile of books.  He fiddled with the knob, letting out a pleased grunt when the initial crackle and hiss gave way to crystal clear reception and the sound of big band music.  

With great difficulty, Snape directed his gaze squarely back in front of himself in an effort to ignore the other man's attempt to unsettle him.  His new position caused him to miss the huge grin that suddenly lit Sirius's face as the opening notes of the next song began.  Pulling his wand, Sirius pointed it at the wireless on the desk, a quick spell increasing the volume until the music was dipping gently around the room.  Although the sound level could still, just about, be classified as background, the music could no longer be ignored - or enjoyed; Sirius was whistling cheerfully along to the blare of trumpets and only stopped to break into song along with the singer.

_'How lucky can one guy be -'_

Snape stiffened at the malicious glee that was clearly visible in Sirius's off key rendition, but managed to prevent showing any other betraying emotion.  Moving slowly across the room, Sirius positioned himself behind Snape, the smile of his face almost too big to be contained.

_'- I kissed her and she kissed me._'

Snape straightened abruptly, his fists uncurling long enough to clutch at the arms of the chair, his nails digging painfully into the hard wood as he fought the urge to rise.

'_Like a fellow once said, "Ain't that a kick in the head?"'_

Breathing deeply through his nose, Snape was aware of another flurry of robes behind him as Black moved closer still, his voice low and gleeful.

_'Her room was completely **Black**, I hugged her and she hugged back -'_

The rest of his words were abruptly curtailed as Snape shoved his chair backwards with a jolt.  Sirius jumped smartly out of the way, but he wasn't quick enough to avoid the outstretched hands that grabbed him by his robe collar, practically lifting him from the ground as the chair smashed onto the hard stone floor, the splinter of wood acting as a punctuation mark.

'What's your problem, Snape?' Sirius asked in a wickedly innocent, if rather strangled, tone - Snape's hands were now wrapped tightly around his throat. 'Was I out of tune?'

'Don't think I don't know what you're doing,' Snape hissed, his hands tightening with bruising force on the other man's neck.  'If you've laid a finger on her -'

'You'll what?' Sirius taunted.  He raised his own hands to tug at Snape's wrists, allowing him to breathe a little easier, although he hadn't managed to completely free himself yet.  'Forbid her to have anything to do with me?  Oh wait, that's right, she's not too interested in your opinions at the moment, is she?'  With a flash of movement, Sirius released his grasp and dropped his hands down, only to snap them immediately back up to break Snape's hold on his neck in a forceful motion.   

'Or did you mean you'd _make_ me stop seeing her?' Sirius scorned, his head tilted at a cocky angle as he crowded in on Snape.

'Just watch me,' Snape snarled, his left fist smashing with surprising force into Sirius's grinning face.

'You sneaky Slytherin bastard - you're right handed!'  Sirius growled, spitting blood onto the floor and looking more wary now as he and Snape circled each other cautiously.

'Yes, how very Slytherin of me; having two hands and the ability to use them _both_.'

Snape's sneer unexpectedly rearranged itself into a grimace of pain.  He straightened abruptly and manoeuvred himself awkwardly out of range, 'Kicking, Black?' he asked, sounding slightly out of breath now.  'Isn't that a fighting style reserved for nine-year-old girls?'

'I didn't kick you - that was judo, a Muggle form of defence that you obviously know nothing about!' Sirius blustered.

'No, this is judo,' Snape said, reaching forward to grab the other man's upper arms in a tight hold, his left foot sweeping out to hook Sirius's booted ankle and continuing on in an arc to send him sprawling to the ground.

Sirius stared up at Snape from his slumped position on the floor, his eyes glinting with loathing.  The room was filled with the sound of their laboured breathing, neither of them prepared to be the first to break the bitter silence with words.  'Not going to try and kick me in the ribs while I'm down here, Snape?' Sirius finally demanded, his face full of scorn.

'No.  Aren't you going to pull your wand?  Or were you perhaps waiting until I had my back turned before you tried that?'  Snape said, holding the other man's burning gaze.  Sirius was the first to look away.

'I didn't mean to kick you,' Sirius finally said sullenly.  'Well, I did,' he amended, 'but not like a. well, not like that - my foot slipped.'

Snape made no reply, but his tautly held body relaxed infinitesimally.  

'How'd you know how to do that anyway, Snape?'  Sirius demanded.  He struggled to lever himself from the floor, wincing as his knees groaned in protest.  

'I read a book.'

'Well that explains everything,' Sirius muttered sarcastically when no further information was forthcoming. 'You do realise that if I was at my normal weight, I could kick your skinny arse in a second?'

Snape gave Sirius a considering look, taking in the traces of the sleekly muscled man that was still visible within the too thin frame, a legacy of his years in Azkaban. 'Physically, maybe,' Snape conceded, with a supremely unworried shrug.  'Mentally, never.'  Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but Snape swept on, his voice hardening.  'I meant what I said, Black, stay away from Lois if you value what's left of your life.'

Sirius tutted impatiently.  'You're so bloody gullible, Snape!  I've never even been to her chambers.  As a matter of fact, we've only ever spoken once.'

Snape made an angry move towards him, but Sirius held up his hands to forestall him.  'Enough - Dumbledore will be back any minute, and frankly, I don't fancy finding out what he'd do if he found us wrestling on the floor.  In any case,' Sirius said with a very self-satisfied look, 'there's something I was going to discuss with the Headmaster, but you might as well hear it too, and this is as good a time as any.  Lois's ring -'

'I _knew_ that treacherous werewolf couldn't be trusted to keep his mouth shut!  When I get my hands on him -'

'Remus didn't say a word!  I only heard about it at all because I was waiting in the cupboard for him, and you were too busy spilling your guts to bother checking if the room was empty!  Anyway,' he hurried on as Snape's expression darkened, 'I decided to see if I could dig anything up about the ring.'

'Why would you do that?'  Snape demanded.

'Lois has done a lot for Harry; I owe her, and apart from that, I like her - why wouldn't I try to help if I could?'

Snape let out a disparaging snort.  'And what form did this "help" take?'

'I have a contact who was pretty close to some of Voldemort's inner circle last time round - Winston Farrell.  He's kept his nose clean since of course - on the surface, at least.  He had to face some pretty tricky questioning from the Ministry after Harry defeated Voldemort, so he's not about to put himself in that position again, but he knows more than he lets on, that's for sure.'

Snape felt an unaccountable frisson of dread shiver down his spine.  'And what question did you put to this font of knowledge?'

Sirius rolled his eyes.  'I asked if he knew anything about the ring.'  

'And did he?' Snape asked, his voice almost too low to be heard.

'Not much, but some.  It looks like it probably did come from Lois's grandfather.  Apparently, Farrell knew one of the Death Eaters who took part in the raid the night Conall Eadon was murdered - they didn't know what they were looking for at the time, but it was definitely something Voldemort wanted.  Their orders were to search the house and bring back anything even slightly unusual.  They were disturbed, of course, and his friend was one of the Death Eaters who was killed, so he had no idea what happened afterwards.  Makes sense that Voldemort would be after it though - it sounds like a pretty handy device, and he had enough spies in the Department of Mysteries who'd have been able to leak the information to him, even if they didn't know the specifics.'

'So then,' Snape began, his tone dangerous, 'thanks to your bumbling interference, there is now a very good chance that not only does the Dark Lord know exactly what the item is that he was so desperate to obtain all those years ago, but also precisely where and, more specifically, with whom he can find it?'

'Hang on a minute!  Don't go trying to pin any of the blame on me!  You said yourself her rooms were broken into - that means someone else must already know!'

'Well if they didn't before they do now,' Snape spat.  'As it was, there was still the chance that there was nothing more sinister going on than a foolish student prank.'

'Now let's, er, just think about this -'

'Do you have no brain whatsoever!' Snape suddenly shouted.  'Did you mention Lois by name?' He made a hissing sound of disgust when the other man's eyes dropped immediately from his.  'What in God's name were you thinking?  You listened in on the conversation!  You heard me telling Lupin exactly who already knew about the ring and what it was capable of, and yet _still_ you went bounding off, trying to play the big hero and putting Lois's life at risk by doing so!' 

'That may have been one of the parts I missed,' Sirius admitted with obvious reluctance.  'The, ah, the door on the cupboard is quite thick and the gap _was_ pretty small -' 

'You idiot!  You _utter_ idiot!'

Sirius scowled at the insult, but didn't respond.

Snape began pacing the room, his face taut with concentration. 'Can this - _source _- of your be trusted?' he asked, whipping back round to face Sirius.

'I don't know.  Probably about as much as we can trust you.'

Snape smiled darkly.  'So then, not at all.'

Sirius turned away, apparently tired of attempting to bait Snape further.  'His information's for sale,' he admitted grudgingly.  'For the right money, that is.  I'm sure he wouldn't actually go looking for a buyer, though, especially if the buyer was Voldemort.  He's far too cautious to throw his hat in with anything to do with Dark Magic after what happened last time.  I'm certain he'll keep this to himself.'  Sirius paused, an uneasy look drifting momentarily across his face.  'Almost certain.'

Swearing furiously, Snape stormed towards the door.  'You'd better hope for your sake that you're right, Black!' he snarled, wrenching the door open with enough force to rock it on its hinges.  'I suggest you explain to Dumbledore what you've done as soon as he arrives, and the next time you get the urge to take matters into your own stupid hands - don't!'

***

'No, Neville, don't add it yet!'

Hermione's desperate whisper had Ron and Harry's wary gaze shooting over to the nearby cauldron she and Neville shared.  To their great relief, she seemed to have the situation under control for the moment, although she was looking unusually frazzled; her hair was sticking up wildly in several directions as if she had run despairing hands through it more than once, and she actually had Neville's trembling right arm held in what looked like a painful grip.  She carefully loosened her hold and pulled back, allowing the sweating boy to ease the spoon he had been holding over the steaming cauldron back into the small slate rest on the desk.  

'That was close,' Ron muttered.  He furtively attempted to push their own cauldron slightly further away on the long workbench they shared with the other pair.  'I think that was Carbel Venom Neville was about to drop in there - he'd have blown us all sky high!'

Harry sneaked a look at Snape who was sitting at his high desk in front of them, staring blankly at the classroom's far wall.  He was aware of several other pairs of eyes following his own gaze, all of them wondering why Gryffindor wasn't down a significant amount of points right now.

There had been numerous mutterings over the past week that something was seriously wrong with Snape.  He was as nasty as ever, but his hatred seemed vague and unfocussed.  To everyone's immense shock, none more so than Malfoy himself, he'd even taken points off the Slytherin boy during their last Potions class.  Until his chat with Lois, Harry had assumed it was something to do with Voldemort; now he suspected it had nothing to do with that at all. 

While the rest of the students had begun to cautiously enjoy the unusual situation, Neville had most definitely not.  With each passing Potions lesson, his terror grew.  He was convinced that Snape's new attitude was a trap of some kind, aimed squarely at him.  As a result, Hermione had taken to supervising Neville's every move.  The fact that Snape had allowed this to continue without comment had sent Neville's nervousness skyrocketing until he was now at the stage that he couldn't even light the flame under his cauldron without setting his sleeves on fire.

Harry felt his arm being nudged and looked up to see Ron gesturing towards Snape, who was still sitting apparently lost in some unpleasant thought.  'What's _up_ with him?' Ron said in a low voice, not even bothering to whisper now.  'D'you think he's sick?'

'Dunno,' Harry shrugged.  He hadn't told Ron and Hermione about his conversation with Lois yet, partly because he didn't think Lois would appreciate him discussing it with them, but mostly because he didn't enjoy dwelling on her relationship with Snape, even if it was over now. 

'Well, whatever's wrong with him, he should keep a closer eye on Neville,' Ron muttered.  'I mean, it's not right Hermione having to spend all lesson watching him like that and he _is_ supposed to be the teacher, even if he is a rubbish one.'

Harry was about to agree when Snape suddenly glanced up, his black gaze narrowing on Ron, who hurriedly directed his attention back to the tulip stems he was slicing.  With a rustle of robes, Snape stood from behind the desk, his expression hard as he advanced on the class with silent foot treads.  

'You should all now be at the halfway stage,' he said, bending to peer into Seamus Finnigan's cauldron, a sneer on his lips.  'Which means your potions should be bright red, not, Mr Finnigan, puce.'  Seamus grimaced and began to stir furiously at his bubbling cauldron, already under pressure thanks to the absence of his normal Potions partner.  Dean Thomas had been confined to the Infirmary after accidentally eating one of Fred and George's experimental cough drops.  Harry privately wondered how "accidental" it had been; the twins had long since run out of willing victims for their new products and had lately resorted to slightly more underhand methods of consumer testing.

Snape's hand reached out to still Seamus's frantic movements.  'It is too late for that now, Finnegan, the time to stir your potion was ten minutes ago.  Throw it away and start again.  Your carelessness has just lost you five points from Gryffindor and if you are late for your next class because of this, another five more.  Now, for those of you that _have_ been paying attention, you may begin to slowly add.  Longbottom, NO!'  

But it was too late.  Hermione, distracted by Snape's instructions, had taken her eyes off Neville for a fraction of a second too long and the panic-struck fifth year had picked up the silver spoon that was used for the Carbel Venom to measure out the crushed Ashwinder egg shells.  Neville just had time to raise horrified eyes to meet Hermione's before the cauldron exploded the instant the tainted ingredients hit the volatile mixture.  

Harry dived under the desk as the bright red liquid shot out of Neville's cauldron.  He grabbed Ron's arm to drag him with him as he went, Hermione and Neville too far away to be reached in time.  As their knees crashed painfully onto the stone floor, he heard screams echoing around him, and Ron's voice swearing furiously in his ear.  

'STAY BACK!' Snape shouted. 'Anyone who has not been splashed move to the back of the class!  The rest of you move forward!'

The screams and shouts immediately died down leaving only the sound of occasional soft sobs.  Harry ducked cautiously back out from the protection of the desk and winced at the sight that met him.  Snape was sweeping about the classroom, his wand out, vaporising huge chunks of material from robes that were stained red with the gloopy potion mixture.  The people he hadn't got to yet were dancing about anxiously as the potion hissed and sizzled, eating away at the cloth at an alarming rate.  Luckily, no one seemed badly hurt and most of the damage appeared to be restricted to robe sleeves as the students had flung their arms up over their faces to protect themselves from the liquid falling from above.  Hermione, missing her left robe sleeve entirely, let out a soft whimper as Ron, who was first to her side, gingerly pressed a pink spot on her bare arm.  

Reaching the last student, Snape immediately began directing his wand at the desks where the potion continued to eat away at aged wood.  'Everyone who has been splashed, go to the Infirmary immediately,' Snape instructed from the side of his desk, his expression fierce. 'Those of you who are unharmed, clear away your colleagues' equipment and return to your common rooms until your next lesson.  If I discover any of you were found anywhere _but_ your common rooms or the Infirmary during the next hour, you will be very sorry indeed.'

It took Harry a little longer than the few other remaining uninjured students to pack up his stuff, because he also had to collect Ron and Hermione's belongings together.  By the time he had everything tidied away, he was the only person remaining in the room.  As he made his way slowly to the door, the three cauldrons balanced awkwardly and clanging loudly together with every step, he glanced back to see Snape, now sitting hunched behind his desk.   His gaze dropped to the Potions Master's arm to see that large segments of both of his sleeves were missing.  Snape had obviously been splashed in the accident too, and judging by the expression on his face, it didn't look like he had got to it before the potion had burnt its way through the material.  

Harry couldn't prevent the instinctive grim satisfaction at seeing Snape so obviously in pain.  If it wasn't for Snape, he might be living with Sirius now instead of the Dursleys, and Lois wouldn't be forced to leave Hogwarts.  

He was almost out of the room when he heard an annoying voice in his head (that sounded very much like Hermione's), reminding him that if it wasn't for Snape, Quirrell might well have succeeded in his plan to kill him in his first year.  Harry hesitated for a moment as that thought sunk in, half hoping that he'd hear Ron's voice next arguing against helping him, 'S_erves the greasy git right, Harry.  Leave him to suffer, mate, that's what I say - no less than he deserves.'_  Unfortunately, no further advice was forthcoming from either of his absent friends, and with a long-suffering sigh, Harry wheeled around to face Snape once more.

'Professor Snape - er - are you going up to the Infirmary with the others?  Madam Pomfrey's got this paste for burns that works really -'

'I am well aware of what Madam Pomfrey has, Potter.  Who do you think provides the supplies for the Infirmary in the first place, you idiot boy?'  Snape snarled, but Harry could tell his heart wasn't in it.  He hadn't even looked up as he spoke and his lips were drawn back in pain.

'Oh, right, of course.'  Harry hesitated again, the words sticking in his throat.  'Have you got some of it here then?  I could. get it for you if you want.'

'In my office; second cupboard on the left, third shelf down,' Snape hissed, and Harry placed the cauldrons and bags on a nearby desk and hurried off, finding the bright orange paste without difficulty.

'Er, do you want me to put it on for you?' he offered reluctantly on his return, realising unhappily that there was no way Snape could attend to his burns in his current state.  Although his view was partially obstructed by the voluminous material that remained, from what he could see it looked as though both arms were equally damaged; he guessed it would be almost impossible for Snape to move them at all right now.

'Go ahead,' Snape said disinterestedly, shocking Harry immensely.  He normally had the distinct impression that Snape would rather crawl across broken glass naked than accept any assistance from him.  When Snape said nothing more, Harry reached hesitantly forward, easily pulling away the ruined right sleeve of Snape's black robe to reveal the injured arm underneath.  Harry blanched at the sight of the raw and angrily blistered skin the movement revealed.  He brought a hand up to cover his nose as he almost gagged at the sickening smell of burning flesh, which was even worse now that the covering cloth of his sleeve was gone. 

'Professor, are you sure you wouldn't rather go to the Infirmary?  This looks really bad -'

'Either apply the salve or get out, Potter,' Snape growled and Harry gave a half shrug, walking over to the supply cupboard to pull out a spatula.  Back at the desk once more, he scooped out a large blob of the orange cream onto the wooden stick and as carefully as he could, applied it to Snape's scorched skin.  Although he didn't look up from his task, he felt the other man stiffen as a hiss of air was expelled from between obviously clenched teeth.  

After he had scrapped the last of the mixture from the pot, Harry stood back to view his efforts.  Snape's burns did look better, but that was mostly because he could barely see them now under the thick covering of bright orange paste.  However, Snape was cautiously stretching the fingers of his hands out in front of him, so it looked as though the pain must have been easing at least a little.  Harry backed further away, wondering if he should just leave, when he caught sight of the grey pallor to Snape's face.  The Potions Master looked worse than he had ever seen him, and Harry found himself wondering about the truth of what Lois had told him.  Thinking about it again now, it seemed far more likely that that she was the one who had broken up with Snape, and then lied about what had happened to spare Snape's feelings.

If that _was_ the case, it would certainly explain Snape's mood of late.  It might also mean that there was a way of preventing Lois from leaving - if she was only going because she felt guilty about being around Snape after what she'd done, from the way the Potions Master was acting lately, it didn't look as though he'd be happy to see her gone.  In fact, maybe he'd try to convince her to stay.  If he didn't already know that was. 

Harry walked back towards the cauldrons, mulling it over and feeling a surprising flicker of pity for Snape.  He still didn't _like_ him, that was for sure, but he couldn't help but think how humiliated he'd feel if he somehow managed to get Cho to go out with him, only for her to dump him a few months later.  It would be a million times worse if everyone knew about it, too.  He gave a small shudder, imagining the field day Malfoy would have with something like that.  

'Did you know Lois was leaving?' he asked bluntly, unable to come up with any more roundabout way of working the question into conversation.

'The majority of students and staff tend to do so at this time of year.  It's called the Christmas holidays, Potter, and it is my understanding that _most_ families enjoy having their children return home to celebrate them,' Snape said, his attention still fixed on his flexing fingers.

'No, not for Christmas,' Harry replied coldly, all earlier pity instantly vanishing in the face of his cruel words.  'For good.  She's going to finish her training at St Mungos.'  He was very pleased to see Snape's dark head snap up at his words, his face somehow managing to go a shade paler, his black eyes glittering. Obviously Snape _hadn't_ known of Lois's plans, nor was he pleased about them either.

Harry opened his mouth to speak, although he wasn't entirely sure what he was going to say.  Snape's harsh voice interrupted him before he had chance to find out.

'Get out, Potter,' Snape snarled through clenched teeth.

Harry gathered the awkward collection of cauldrons and bags back up, cursing the no magic in the corridors rule and feeling Snape's dark gaze boring into his back.  He fumbled with the door handle and finally wrenched it open with a jerk, hurrying out into the silent corridor, struck by the belated, and heartfelt, hope that Lois wouldn't discover what he'd done.

***

Lois was wandering the upper hallways of Hogwarts partly in an attempt to avoid the well-meaning sympathy and advice that she seemed unable to avoid lately and partly because she was saying goodbye to the castle.  Thankfully, she hadn't seen a soul since leaving her room late that morning, and the school seemed even more deserted than normal.  She puzzled over that for a second before realising why with a groan - the Ravenclaw versus Slytherin Quidditch match!  She had promised to meet Harry, Ron and Hermione to watch the game ten minutes ago.  Turning back the way she had just come, she hurried away, hoping the game wasn't over yet.  She had just reached a staircase that should lead directly to the Entrance Hall, when she froze at the sound of a muffled moan.

'Hello?' she called loudly into the deserted passageway.  'Is anyone there?'

Her question was met with a slightly louder moan and Lois quickened her step in the direction the noise had come from.  Turning a corner she found the slumped form of Elena Roupe sitting on the stone floor, her back resting against the wall, eyes closed and silent now.

'Elena!  What happened?  Are you okay?'  Lois crouched beside her, gently tapping the older woman's face as she spoke.  Elena's eyes flickered open and she focussed blurrily on Lois, her gaze sharpening quickly with recognition.  

'Lois, thank the heavens!  Someone took Potter.  Quickly, you have to follow. I don't know how long I have been here,' she muttered, sounding suddenly vague as her eyes became glassy and unfocussed once more.

'Calm down, Elena,' Lois soothed.  'What do you mean someone has Harry?  What happened - who did this to you?'

Elena made a frustrated sound and brushed Lois's hands impatiently away.  'I was on my way to the Quidditch match, when I heard someone shouting for help.  I called out and I recognised Potter's voice, he managed to say someone had him, but that is all.  I chased after them but when I got here, whoever had him must have been waiting for me, because when I turned the corner I was hit on the head.'  Elena was looking grey now, her accent thickening and her voice rising and falling as she spoke. 'I saw the edge of a cloak as I fell.  After that I knew nothing until you came.'  She fell silent and then roused herself with a jerk.  'Lois, you must go after them!'

'But, Elena, I can't leave you like this,' Lois protested, pulling her wand and pointing it towards the older woman's head preparing to assess the damage.  Before she could do more than mumble the beginning of a spell her wand hand was grasped in a bruising grip.  Lois looked dazedly up into Elena's glittering eyes.

'There is no time!  I will be fine, but I cannot say the same for Potter.'

'How will I find him?' Lois asked, not arguing further. 'And what can I do anyway?'

'I was able to place a guiding spell on my attacker as I fell, but it was weak; too weak to last.  You must follow the footprints before they vanish - they should appear on the ground a minute after the charmed person walks.  I will show you how to perform the same spell on yourself and then I will get Dumbledore and follow on,' she said weakly, her pallor changing to a sickly shade of green as Lois helped her to rise.  After a couple of false starts, the spell was finally cast, but the resultant drain on Elena's strength was worrying.  Lois hesitated a second further, unhappy about leaving the other woman in her current condition, but at that, Elena's closed eyes shot open, blazing green fire down at her.  'Go, Lois, before it is too late!'

Lois was eternally grateful that she was wearing jeans and trainers as she sprinted up the corridor, closely following the ghostly outlines gleaming on the old stone floors.  As she turned the first corner, she skidded to a halt as she heard a muffled sound from behind her.  'Elena?' she called into the now silent hall.  'Elena, was that you?'  Only silence met her question, and hoping the noise had just been Elena making her way for help, rather than her falling unconscious to the ground, Lois set off again.

She reached for her wand as she made her way along the corridors, mentally running through all the curses she knew that might halt a determined kidnapper in their tracks.  Unfortunately, she could come up with so few - in fact none - she wasn't greatly reassured by this.  Her fingers tightened nevertheless around the comforting feel of smooth wood against her palm - no one liked a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, magical or not.

The footsteps were becoming harder and harder to make out and Lois put on a burst of speed, her side beginning to ache from a painful stitch.  She rounded one corner after another, completely lost now, only the almost paralysing fear for Harry keeping her going at all.  Finally she reached what she at first assumed to be a dead end.  She let out a breathless hiss of anger and spun on her heel, just catching sight of a pale footprint on the bottom step of a very ancient looking staircase half hidden by a rusty suit of armour, milliseconds before it winked out of existence.  

Cautiously, she headed towards the shadowed steps, making her way slowly up them in the hope of masking her approach should anyone be waiting for her at the top.  The staircase narrowed as it rose, the ceiling becoming progressively lower with every step.  By the time she had reached a large wooden door, she was feeling uncomfortably claustrophobic in the confined space.  She hesitated with her hand on the handle, hearing no sounds from behind the door other than the howling of the wind - the stairs must lead to one of the rooftop towers.  She looked behind her one last time, very slightly reassured by her own glowing white footprints shining clearly behind her; no one should have any trouble following them at least.

Sucking in a deep, steadying breath, Lois turned the heavy brass handle and stepped cautiously through the door and straight into the sights of a wand aimed directly at her.

'Merlin's beard!' came a half-amused, half-furious voice over the sound of the howling wind.  'It never rains but it pours around here, doesn't it?'

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**A/N**  Thank you all so much for the reviews!  It's been so long since I last posted, I truly didn't expect any, which made them all the sweeter. :)  Thanks must also go again to Axelle for the marvellous beta reading - a chore I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. ;)  The song Sirius sang along with to annoy Snape is, "Ain't That a Kick in the Head" - the Robbie Williams version.  I'd link to it, but ff.net doesn't seem to like links.  


	28. Parting Gifts

Disclaimer: Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

****

**Beloved on this Earth**

**-0- **

Lois froze, but it was the unexpectedness of the sight that met her that caused her hesitation, rather than any fear of the wand that was still aimed directly at her. She blinked and took an unthinking step forward. 'Hugo? What's going on?'

Hugo grimaced and his outstretched arm drooped fractionally. 'Lois,' he said, raising the wand back up and jiggling it in front of her wide-eyed gaze. 'I'm pointing a wand right at you. Show a bit of common sense!'

But despite the seriousness of his tone, Lois was having difficulty focussing on his words. The mad panic that had been clawing at her since finding Elena collapsed in the hall was battling with breathlessness from the dash through the castle, leaving her feeling vaguely light-headed and very confused. She turned her attention away from the rattled-looking figure of Hugo to take in her surroundings.

As she had guessed, the staircase had led to one of the rooftop towers, but it was obviously an abandoned one. The ramshackle turret was too small and in too poor a condition to be used for Astronomy lessons. It probably wasn't even pleasant enough to attract resourceful students to it for out-of-hours assignations.

Hugo was standing beside the remains of a tumbled flagpole, the flag itself long gone. A pile of rubble from a crumbling section of the open tower lay at his feet. Several other, larger, stone blocks were scattered around the edges of circular floor, obviously belonging to the low wall encasing it. But it was the unnaturally still figure to her left that caused the blood to freeze in her veins. Harry was standing staring straight ahead of him, his arms lying relaxed at his sides, the beginnings of an ugly bruise forming around a graze high on his pale cheekbone.

'_Accio wand!' _

Before the instinctive move to raise her wand and do God knows what was even fully made, the option was taken from Lois. She let out a gasp of outrage and spun to face Hugo once more. 'You?' she demanded. 'You're the one who kidnapped Harry?

Hugo placed her wand securely in his robe pocket before answering. 'Not kidnap, exactly. I don't expect there will be a ransom,' he continued when she looked at him blankly.

Lois shook her head in an attempt to clear it, and caught sight of Harry's bruised face as she did. 'Did you hit him?' she asked, her tone dangerous. 'Have you put a spell on him?' Lois took a few stumbling steps towards Harry, but held just short of actually touching him for fear of causing more damage. 'Why isn't he moving?

'I didn't lay a finger on him! The scratches on his face are from when he… fell.' Hugo shifted uncomfortably as Lois's scathing glare bit into him. 'He is under a spell, but you can touch him if you want; it won't hurt him. Or you,' he added unnecessarily – Lois was already raising assessing hands towards Harry's still figure, her movements tender and fleeting.

'I need my wand,' she said, taking a step back and fixing Hugo with a commanding stare. 'I need to find out what's wrong with him.'

Hugo's hand shifted towards the pocket she had seen him put her wand in and then he pulled it almost immediately back with an incredulous look on his face. 'Ah, I don't think so, actually,' he said with a small, self-mocking smile.

Lois felt her foolish hopes come toppling down. This wasn't some terrible misunderstanding. Hugo wasn't going to suddenly launch into a stumbling explanation of how this was all just a very badly misjudged joke, or how he'd overcome Elena's attacker and rescued Harry and was at this very minute waiting for Dumbledore and the Aurors to arrive.

Not knowing what else to do, she turned her attention back to Harry. Bending her head towards his, she peered into his tranquil face and was startled when she saw a bright gleam of recognition in his unfocussed green gaze. Lois's hurried words of relief remained unspoken at the almost indecipherable tensing of Harry's body and another emotion – of warning – flashing briefly across his face. She realised then why she was so easily able to read the emotion in his eyes – for once, they were bare of the glasses that normally shielded them, leaving him looking incredibly young and vulnerable.

'He's not harmed,' Hugo's voice came. 'Well, apart from the little bump on his head. I had to use a Leg-Locker Curse to slow him down – he's nearly as fast on foot as he is on a broom – but the only reason he isn't moving is because I've told him not to. It's really nothing to worry about – just a temporary measure.' Lois schooled her expression into blankness before she spun on her heel to face him once more.

'_What's _temporary?'

Hugo sighed heavily. In the distance, the wind carried the sound of cheers from the unseen Quidditch match to their ears. 'He's under the Imperius Curse.'

'The Imper –? But that's one of the Unforgivables!" Now she understood Harry's docility and why warning had overshadowed the welcome in his eyes; Harry wasn't under Imperio, but as defenceless as he was without his glasses, he might as well be.

'It is,' Hugo agreed, his voice forcing her attention back to him, 'but I doubt anyone's going to be particularly pleased about the whole abduction side of things, either.'

Lois stiffened angrily. 'Don't try and be funny. This isn't the time for jokes.'

'I wasn't joking – I was just pointing out the absurdity of a world that seems oblivious to the damage that can be inflicted without a wand.'

'This isn't the time for a lecture either, _Professor Quade_.'

'Niall.'

'What?'

'The name is Niall. Or Uncle Niall, if you'd prefer,' he said with a wry smile.

'What? I've only got one uncle and he's dead,' Lois said impatiently, in no mood for whatever game he was playing. 'He died with my mother years ago.'

'No, actually, I'm very much alive.'

'God! Would you just _stop it_? Do you think I'm an idiot? Quite apart from the fact that he most definitely _is_ dead, I've seen photographs of him, and he didn't look anything like you!

'Good grief, you saw those?' Hugo looked momentarily appalled. 'That's a bit embarrassing; I was such a puny little weakling back then!'

Lois shook her head and backed cautiously away, attempting to manoeuvre herself into a position somewhere between Harry and the door. Hugo's continuing calm and almost friendly manner seemed suddenly more frightening than any horror she had imagined she would find at the top of the staircase. He was behaving as though there was nothing unusual in the situation at all. _Had he completely flipped, and, more importantly, was there any way she could talk them out of this if he had? _

'I am your uncle, Lois,' Hugo insisted, as she stood eyeing him warily.

'Okay,' she said. Despite her best efforts, her voice quavered over the word and she lifted a hand to push nervously at her hair.

Hugo followed her movements, his eyes rolling with exasperation. 'I'm telling you the truth!' He let out a huge sigh when Lois winced at the loudness of his voice. 'Look,' he said more quietly, 'I've wanted to tell you since I met you, but that was out of the question, of course, and, after this happened,' he jerked his head towards Harry's frozen figure, 'I realised that it wasn't ever going to be possible, and that that was probably for the best. But suddenly you're here, and… well, it just seems right that you know. I feel like I owe you that much, at least.'

'I see.' Lois nodded quickly. She attempted an encouraging smile that cracked the moment it began. 'Maybe… maybe we could all go back into the castle to discuss it? I-it's so cold out here and… and Harry–'

Hugo threw his hands up in the air. 'Enough!' There came an indignant screech from a nearby pair of birds who had been sitting sleepily perched in the arrow loops of the far turret wall. Hugo ignored their cries, but Lois saw Harry start slightly in surprise. Suddenly aware of how hard it must be for him to maintain the pretence of a trancelike state for so long, she edged around Hugo, who thankfully mirrored her movements, leaving Harry behind him and out of his sight. 'Your full name is Achelois Rebecca Bell – Rebecca because that was book your father read to your mother while she was in labour with you and Achelois because that was your great grandmother's name.'

Lois opened her mouth to protest, but Hugo didn't give her chance. 'Your father was obsessed with some Muggle football team.' His eyes glazed over as he searched for a memory, a pleased huff escaping him as he captured it. 'Arsenal!' He gave a small shrug. 'Never really understood what he saw in it myself, but he dragged me along to a few of their games after he realised I'd never been to one. It was fun,' he admitted quietly.

'Anyone could know that!' Lois protested, a panicky feeling beginning to swirl in her stomach. She didn't know anything about a grandmother with her name, although she supposed it was possible given all the other things she'd discovered since her arrival at Hogwarts, but her father had told her the story attached to her middle name before. His love of his favourite football team was something else she couldn't deny. 'Anyone!' she said again.

Hugo's softly reminiscent expression vanished. He straightened, nodding his acceptance of her words. 'And could anyone know his little rituals before the games? Could anyone know about that great long scarf he used to wrap twice, _anticlockwise_, around his neck for luck that he wouldn't take off until half time, no matter how hot it was or how in the way it got?' A broad grin lit his face. 'At one of the first matches he took me to, he got it caught on a turnstile on the way in, fell backwards into a wall and knocked himself out! He would have spent the entire game sitting in the St John's Ambulance hut if I hadn't managed to cast a quick _Ennervate _spell when no one was looking.'

Lois tried to swallow over the huge lump forming in her throat. This wasn't the first time she'd heard that particular story, although the ending had been significantly different in her father's version.

'Your mother used to tease him mercilessly after that,' Hugo continued, seemingly oblivious to her distress, 'but it never stopped him wearing it. Amazing, really, that Muggles have such difficulty in accepting witches and wizards when they put so much faith into their silly superstitions. What are they expecting to achieve with them if not magic?'

His focus returned to Lois and he frowned heavily at her sudden paleness. 'Lois, I'm sorry. Am I upsetting you talking about your father like this? He was a good man, and I know you must miss–'

'You don't know what sort of a man he was!' Lois shouted.

'I _did_ know him; your mum and I were twins – we were close, closer than most brothers and sisters. We spent a lot of time together so I spent a lot of time with your dad – before and after he married your mum.' Lois made a strangled noise of protest and Hugo grimaced. 'Okay, he had brown hair and his eyes were… damn! I don't remember… but he– he worked for some… accountancy firm, I think, that he hated and was planning to leave. What else, what else…' He lifted a hand to run distracted fingers through his hair and then pulled them away with a triumphant air.

'He had a dog, Tucker! Big brute he was, not sure what type, but Will said he'd never have another one after he died because no other dog could replace him. Er, he whistled, all the time – incredibly annoying – and he had this horrible hat he wore whenever your mother made him go outside and do the gardening.' He smiled then, the memory obviously tickling him. 'Oh, and he drove this really great little sports car. A green… frog something… Frog-Eyed something?' He paused, frustration etched into every line of his face. 'I can't recall the name now, but I know he would never teach me to drive it. Said it was too pretty–'

'To get its wheels dirty for anyone but him,' Lois finished quietly.

'Yes,' Hugo agreed, a wary expression on his face.

Lois blinked away weak tears. 'You're really–?'

'Yes,' Hugo said again, and took a step towards her.

His movement snapped Lois from her frozen immobility. 'But you – you _can't_ be! You don't even _look_ like him.' It was a wail of protest

'Well, maybe not precisely like the _old_ me, but the family resemblance is still there, isn't it?' A strand of her hair blew towards him in an icy gust of wind, and he reached out to snatch it from the air, as lightening fast as any Seeker with a fluttering Snitch. With almost ceremonial slowness, he held the trapped strands up against the gleam of his own hair, the colour an exact match.

'No,' Lois breathed. She pulled free from his hold and stared dazedly up into eyes the same shade of blue as her own.

'I was worried when I first came to Hogwarts that you'd look just like your mother,' Hugo continued, 'which would have made lying to you almost impossible, or that the similarity of our colouring would be obvious to you. But instead my resemblance to your husband blinded you to anything else after that initial first impression.'

Lois felt a small clutch of pain at the idea of her emotions being so cruelly manipulated. 'Did you plan it that way?'

'No, no, how could I? I had no idea that you had a husband, let alone what he looked like. Besides, you said yourself it was only a surface likeness. I imagine that the guilt you felt over your attraction to Snape played a bigger part in seeing your husband in me than our vague similarity ever did.' He raised his eyebrows quizzically, but Lois refused to answer the unasked question.

'But why don't you look like the pictures I saw?' She raised an accusing finger towards him. 'And why are you taller!'

Hugo's lips quirked. 'I'm a mediwizard, Lois, so it wasn't that hard. It's amazing what a few drops of Skele-Extend and Muscle Maker can do for the old physique and, with my skills, a little bit of magical plastic surgery was a breeze.'

Lois suddenly remembered his advice on treating Horsefly bites, and the handkerchief headache remedy he'd given her that Remus had never heard of. His dislike of Snape and somewhat odd protectiveness also made a little more sense now, too.

But accepting the truth of his story only left her more confused and Lois hesitated, her emotions so tangled right then she didn't know what she felt. Cautious excitement seemed to be dominant; the dragging emptiness she had been feeling since her break-up with Severus easing slightly. She wasn't alone anymore. The cold wind tugged at her hair again and she twisted her head to dislodge it from her eyes. The movement caused her to catch sight of Harry standing frozen and defenceless beside her. Icy shudders ran up and down her spine that nothing to do with the worsening weather.

With difficulty, she turned her attention back to the silent man in front of her. His expression was watchful, and she knew he was waiting for her to question him further. Lois shook her head in unconscious response, refusing to ask the one question that was battering at her through all the fevered emotions – _why?_ Because she knew, just knew, that she didn't want to hear the answer.

'Hugo – Niall,' she amended when she saw him stiffen in protest. 'This is all wonderful, unbelievable, but wonderful and just too much to take in at once. I need time a-and you have to take the spell off Harry. I know I can convince him not to say anything about this–'

And as suddenly as an Invisibility Cloak being whipped away to reveal the stranger hidden beneath, Hugo's warm blue eyes froze into diamond hardness, his face becoming stiff and mask-like as a terrible sense of purpose radiated from him. Despite that, his voice still held a distant note of regret.

'I'm afraid that isn't going to be possible.'

The bubbling joy that had begun only moments before evaporated. She realised then that he really was two people and that up until that moment she had met only one of them – Niall. This coldly controlled stranger facing her now was Hugo – the man Niall had for some reason been forced to become.

'Please don't hurt him.' Lois heard her voice crack and swallowed with difficulty. 'He's just a boy.'

'I won't!' He paused and took a controlling breath. 'I don't want to. Taking Harry was never my plan, but time's running out for me, Lois. I'm truly sorry, but this is the only way.'

'But _why _is time running out?' she pleaded. 'You just said you never intended to take Harry. You obviously had a-another plan. Can't you… can't you –'

'Hagrid is due back any day now,' Niall cut across her stammering, 'meaning my job will be gone when he does. And with so little time remaining, I knew that the chances of my original plan panning out were almost nonexistent. I was coming to see you when I saw Harry wandering about up on the Infirmary corridor, alone, for once, and I realised it was now or never.'

Out of the corner of her eye, Lois saw Harry shiver. She sent up a frantic plea that Elena was making headway on her promise to fetch help. 'If you didn't come here for Harry, why did you come?'

Niall reached into a pocket of his robes to pull out a tightly folded square of paper. He handed it to her and Lois opened it to reveal the newspaper article Harry had shown her the day of their picnic at the lake.

Lois raised confused eyes to his. 'I've already seen this – I know what happened… what I thought happened to you and my mother that day.'

'Thought is right,' Niall said with a bitter smile.

'How _did_ you escape?' Lois licked nervously at her suddenly dry lips. 'The report said nobody survived the attack. Weren't you really there that day, or were you one of the…' She hesitated to voice her suspicions, but Niall immediately supplied the answer for her.

'Death Eaters?' His bark of laugher at her hesitant nod sent her stepping hurriedly back from him. 'Don't be daft,' he said, reaching out a restraining hand. 'You've seen the old pictures of me – hardly Death Eater material.'

'So–?'

'I _was_ there that day the Death Eaters struck, but I wasn't killed. God, I was such a coward then it sickens me to even think about it.'

'Do you mean you were scared? There's no shame in that –'

'No, I mean I hid. I was tending to a dying man when I saw the Death Eaters Apparate in. I was further away than most of the other mediwizards so I wasn't noticed immediately and before they did see me, I abandoned my patient and hid under one of the dead bodies.' Lois sucked in a sharp breath of horror, but Niall was so lost to the past, he didn't even seem to notice. She pushed a hand to her mouth in an effort to still any further sound and stood frozen as he continued.

'The screaming went on for so long I didn't think it would ever end. Eventually it did, of course, and when I _finally_ plucked up the courage to risk looking, there was no one left alive.' His voice began to roughen and he paused to clear his throat. 'I swapped my clothes with one of the victims who resembled me closely enough, but had so much damage to the face no one would have been able to tell it wasn't me, and just walked until I passed the anti-Apparation point the Death Eaters had set up. It must have taken me an hour,' he murmured, sounding almost surprised that he remembered.

'But what about my mother?' Lois asked in a lost voice.

Niall's face darkened. 'Yes, Niahm.' He let out a deep sigh, looking suddenly closer to his true age. 'I looked for her first, naturally, but she was dead. There was nothing I could do. Believe me, I loved my sister. I didn't want that, but it was too late.'

Lois blinked away hot tears. There was a certain amount of relief in hearing the details of her mother's death that somehow overshadowed the pain. More important though than the truth, was that while Niall was talking, Harry was safe. 'But why did you go, why did you let everyone think you were dead? No one would blame you for what happened; even if you had tried to fight you would have just died too.'

'It's unsettling how like your mother you are sometimes,' Niall said. 'So protective, so loyal, but, in this case, so very wrong. They _would_ have blamed me, or at least my father would have. He already despised what he considered my weakness, my _lack of backbone_, as he called it. If he'd found out I how I managed to survive, he would have disowned me.'

'But you were his son!'

'Yes, but never what he wanted in a son. I went to my own funeral, you know,' he said conversationally. 'And saw my father, my strong, proud father, crying like a baby. But not for me, never for me, only for his precious Niahm.'

Lois felt icy shivers dancing up her spine. 'I'm sure you're wrong.'

'Are you? Well then, let me tell you the rest of this little story. As it happens I was so pathetic I only lasted six months into my brave new life as an outcast. By then I had no money, was half starved and was about ready to turn my wand on myself. In fact, I was desperate enough, or weak enough, to risk going home.'

The bitterness in Niall's tone was almost a living thing. Lois held her breath; not daring to interrupt him, but certain she didn't want to hear more.

'Unfortunately my timing was as abysmal as my luck – I arrived to find my father cornered by a group of Death Eaters. But for once, I wasn't afraid; it was like fate was giving me another chance and this time I was determined I wasn't going to get it wrong. So instead of cowering or Apparating away, I leapt boldly into the fray. My father was an exceptionally strong wizard and once I joined the fight it wasn't long before we had the upper hand.' He paused then, a remembered look of satisfaction on his face. 'In my whole life, Lois, that was probably my finest moment. I was filled with such a burning righteous, rage for what they had done to Niahm, to me, that I quite impressed myself. There were six Death Eaters and I managed to kill two of them almost right off. My father killed another one and when they realised they were losing, the other three Disapparated. But do you know what happened then?' Lois shook her head shakily no. 'Instead of being deliriously happy to find his only son alive and eternally grateful for my bravery in battle, he was actually slightly less than pleased to see me.'

'I'm sure it was just the shock,' Lois said warily, aware from his tone of voice that the story did not have a happy ending.

Niall laughed derisively at that. 'Well, whatever it was, he was certainly rather voluble in his disappointment. When I tried to explain what had happened he called me a coward, said I was a disgrace to the Eadon name and that Niahm's death was on my hands as surely if I had uttered the killing curse myself.'

'No,' Lois whispered, horrified.

'Oh, yes, soft-hearted Lois, and that wasn't all. He had become quite deranged by that point and was beating me almost senseless. I'm absolutely convinced he would have killed me with his bare hands; I don't think he would have got the same satisfaction using his wand.'

'What… what did you do?'

Niall pursed his lips in silent rebuke. 'I had no choice, Lois; I had to kill him.'

Lois gulped audibly and tried to move away. He stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder.

'You may as well hear the rest of it.' He glanced quickly at his watch. 'I think we just about have time and you know what they say about confession being good for the soul.' He laughed, but it was terrible sound, empty and dead. 'Anyway, I had a pretty watertight alibi, obviously, being dead, and luckily there were still the bodies lying around so they wouldn't have to look too hard for the murder suspect. I removed all trace of having been there, destroyed one of the Death Eater's wands so they wouldn't know that it hadn't been used to kill my father, and escaped with all the gold I could find in the house.'

'You... you didn't have to do that,' Lois said cautiously. 'You could have gone to the Ministry, told them you interrupted a Death Eater raid and that you were too late to save him. Why would you turn yourself into a fugitive when you didn't have to?'

'Clever girl!' Niall said with an inappropriate gleam of pride. 'If that father of yours had let you attend Hogwarts when you should have done, you'd have been another Ravenclaw like Niahm and me. Actually, I _did_ think of that, but although no one else would have been quite so disgusted with my actions as my father was, everyone would have known what I'd done at Monkswood and I certainly wouldn't have looked good. In any event, even if I was prepared to put up with the whispering and the mockery that would have resulted, I'd just killed two Death Eaters on a mission for the Dark Lord. If I'd come back out into the open and claimed my place as an Eadon, I would have been dead within a week.'

'There must have been another way – Muggle governments arrange for people in situations like that to go into hiding. If you'd just gone to the Ministry –'

'We aren't living in the Muggle world, Lois, and they were risky times. Back then anyone who had a hint of Dark Magic on them was hauled into the Ministry of Magic for questioning. Now if all they did was question, I probably could have got away with it. As you said, I had a believable alibi, but all it would have taken was a sip of Veritaserum and the truth would have been out and _then_ where would I have been? No, I couldn't take the risk.'

Silence fell as Lois struggled to take in all she had learnt. Niall seemed equally drained. Each left to their own thoughts, the tension eased and with its passing came the stinging sensation of cramped muscles held taut for too long. Gingerly moving her stiff limbs, Lois realised how uncomfortable Harry must be by now and wondered how much longer he could keep up the charade.

'Where did you go?' she finally asked, morbidly curious in spite of herself.

It took Niall a moment to answer. When he did, his tone was weary. 'Europe. The gold didn't last long, but with my new face and body I soon learnt there was plenty of work for a mediwizard who doesn't ask questions, even after You-Know-Who's downfall.'

'And now?' Lois pressed. 'Why have you come back now?'

'Couldn't I just want to look up my long-lost niece?'

'You could have done that at any time; I was raised as a Muggle – I wouldn't have known that you were supposed to be dead.'

'No,' Niall agreed, 'but your father did, and in any event, I haven't been much in the mood for company for the last, oh, twenty-five years or so. But you're right, that's not why I'm here; there have been mutterings amongst the type of people I associate with that the Dark Lord is back.'

Lois fought down the mad urge to run for the door. 'What does that have to do with me?' she asked shakily.

'Absolutely nothing. Actually, if it wasn't for this,' he said, reaching over to pluck the forgotten newspaper clipping from her clenched fist, 'the two of us would have probably lived the rest our lives without ever meeting again.'

'I still don't understand.' Lois frowned, struggling to remember what the article had said.

'Most of it was rubbish,' Niall said, scrunching the newspaper into a ball and tossing it over the tower's ledge, 'but what did interest me was that Dumbledore was going public about You-Know-Who's return and that he'd taken time out of his preparations for war with him to search you out. Made me wonder what he knew about you that I didn't.'

'But it wasn't true, none of it!' Lois protested. 'Harry found me by accident – Dumbledore just let me stay!'

'You don't have to convince me,' he said fondly. 'When I first met you you were practically a Muggle! I knew straight away something didn't add up.'

'Well then why did you stay and…' Lois ground to a halt, a horrible thought taking over her. 'How… how did you come to be here – where's the real Hugo Quade?'

'I have no idea,' Hugo said, looking puzzled by the question. 'Probably still deep in the Congo searching for Tebos.'

'You didn't kill him?' she asked, relief coursing through her.

Niall's eyes shot wide with shock. 'I'm not a monster, Lois,' he said sharply. 'I don't go around killing people willy-nilly! I'm here because after I read about you, I decided it might be worth looking you up to see if you really did know anything. By a stroke of luck there was an advertisement for a temporary teacher in the same paper, so all I needed was a new name and qualifications to back me up.'

'So the real Professor Quade didn't apply for the job?'

'No,' Niall said impatiently. 'I looked up the records of past Ministry grants and Quade fitted the bill – not well known, didn't attend Hogwarts and had a suitable background to teach Care of Magical Creatures. He was perfect. I sent off a letter of application and had a reply by return offering me the job. I didn't even have to attend an interview!'

'Oh.' Lois rubbed her arms against a sudden chill. 'So if you haven't been Hugo Quade since you disappeared, who have you been?'

Hugo shrugged. 'Does it matter?'

'I suppose not.' Lois nodded a little dazedly, her thinking muddied by shock. 'So if you knew right off that I was no use to anyone as a witch, why did you stay?'

'Because it occurred to me that maybe Dumbledore was interested in something you _had_, rather than what you could do.'

'I don't have anything,' Lois said quickly.

'That's what I was beginning to believe, but then you went and pulled that amazing feat of magic in the staff room. I've been _hoping _that I could get you to confide in me about it, and when that didn't work I even tried to find it, but since I didn't know what it was I was after it was rather like looking for a needle in a haystack. I'm sorry about your room by the way,' he said, looking suddenly discomfited. 'I didn't intend to leave it in that state, but when that bloody cat appeared while I searching it, I knew Filch wouldn't be far behind.'

'It was you,' Lois murmured without any real surprise. 'Severus was wrong about the children.'

'Snape?' Niall frowned. 'I should have known he was involved. It was too complex for you to have done yourself and too sneaky for most decent wizards. Didn't you know?' he asked when he saw her blank look. 'That sly sod booby-trapped your door. When I tried to sneak back into your room I got a face full of boils for my efforts! Clever really,' he admitted begrudgingly. 'Anyone other than a mediwizard would have been forced to get help to clear them up, which I'm sure was part of his plan. It wasn't a problem for me, of course, although it bloody well stung at the time. And then after that, every time I went anywhere near your chambers Poppy would spring out like a demented doorman – Snape's doing too, I have no doubt.'

'I didn't know,' Lois said quickly, feeling a momentary – but only a momentary – twinge of guilt over Snape's actions. 'But you're wrong about me having anything of value–'

Hugo raised his hands to halt her denial. 'When the Death Eaters attacked my father's home it wasn't a random strike. I heard what they wanted when I first Apparated in. My father had apparently been working on a device that they were very interested in obtaining. I prevented them from getting it back then, but I think if I could find it now, it just might be enough to buy me a high ranking position at Voldemort's side.'

'What? Why would you want that after everything he's done!'

Niall looked at her pityingly. 'Trust me, Lois, if the Dark Lord really is back, this time I don't intend to be fighting on the wrong side.'

Lois sucked in a shocked breath. 'The _wrong side_? My God, what would my mother think if she could hear you now?'

His face crumpled and for a second she could see a trace of the man he'd been, the man she'd seen in the photographs. Then he straightened and it was gone.

'She wouldn't think anything – Niahm's dead and I'm not. But don't worry, Lois, now that I've found you again, I won't turn my back on you, I promise. I'll put in a good word for you with You-Know-Who.'

'I don't _want_ you to put in a good word for me! Voldemort murdered my mother, _your sister_, and countless others beside! Hugo – _Niall_ – this hasn't gone too far yet. If you explain what happened, that it was self-defence with my grandfather maybe–'

'Perhaps I wasn't _entirely_ to blame for my father's death, but I still cast the killing curse and I'm certainly to blame for the things I've done since. No, there's no way I can ever go back to being Niall Eadon and frankly, if it means living through another war like the last one, I don't want to.'

Lois felt the muscles in her throat lock as she tried to swallow down her revulsion. 'My grandfather was right – you _are _a coward!' She cringed back as Hugo took a step towards her.

'It's very easy to be brave when you've never been frightened,' he said in a surprisingly even tone.

'I've been frightened!'

'Not like we were then,' Niall said, his gaze suddenly blank and inward looking. He blinked his distraction away and focussed on her once more. 'Not like then,' he repeated.

Lois looked away, unable to hold his stare. 'I'm sorry,' she said stiffly, 'I shouldn't have called you that. I have no idea what you all went through.'

'No matter,' Niall said, suddenly brisk, 'you'll experience it for yourself soon enough.' He grimaced when she blanched. 'And now I'm sorry,' he said heavily. Look, Lois, this is pointless. It's too late now to change anything. I don't want to do it, but Potter is my only chance now of buying favour with You-Know-Who–'

'NO! It's a ring, that's what causes the wandless magic, that's what my grandfather invented!'

'Lois–'

'I didn't know I had it,' she said frantically, her hands grasping at his forearms, her short nails scoring his skin even through his heavy robes. 'I found it in my mother's jewellery and when I wore it, I didn't need a wand! I can get it for you! You don't need Harry if you have it, do you? I'll get it and you can let Harry go! Please… _please_–'

'Do you have it?'

'YES!'

Niall bent to peer into her eyes. 'Are you telling me the truth?'

Lois nodded frantically. 'I am. I swear I am.' Her hair swung loose around her face and she pushed it quickly away, not daring to even blink.

But something must have given her away, because Niall sighed heavily and turned away. 'I'm sorry, I don't believe you. And,' he added loudly when she went to protest, 'it wouldn't matter if I did. If I let you go back into the castle you'd raise the alarm–'

'I wouldn't! I promise…' Lois said on a sob, 'I promise I won't tell anyone and I'll get it… I will, I'll get it...'

'Ah, Lois, don't. Don't cry, acushla,' Niall said gently. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief that he lifted tenderly to mop at her wet cheeks. 'I shouldn't have told you any of this; it wasn't fair. You should be back in the Muggle world with a husband and children, not here taking problems onto your shoulders that aren't even your own.'

'I love it here,' Lois said huskily. 'I'll never regret finding out I'm a witch, finding out who I am.'

'You don't even know who you are.' He shook his head impatiently. 'And you definitely shouldn't be getting involved with someone like Snape. I should Obliviate you,' he muttered abruptly. 'Get you away from here before it's too late.'

Lois let out a horrified yelp. Memories lost to Obliviate were not easily regained, if it all.

'Should have known I suppose,' Niall said in a resigned tone. He pulled his wand and pointed it at her, muttering a spell she couldn't make out over the roaring in her ears.

'No!' she screamed, not wanting to forget any of this. But she needn't have panicked; whatever he had done, her memories remained intact. Lois tried to move forward and realised immediately what the spell had been for – she was completely paralysed from the neck down. 'What have you done?' she questioned in a trembling voice.

'Just an immobilising spell, Lois,' he soothed. 'Nothing to worry about.'

'But I am worried – why have you frozen me?' she asked, not reassured in the slightest by his words.

'Because I have a very strong feeling that you're not going to hold still for what I'm about to do,' he said, taking a step towards her but stopping a few inches away from actually touching.

Lois closed her eyes and let out a petrified moan, her heart racing madly, beads of sweat appearing on her upper lip.

She felt a puff of air against her face as Niall let out an exasperated breath. 'Don't look so bloody tragic, girl!' Lois's eyes shot open as he raised his left hand, curling it around the nape of her neck, his fingers splayed and digging into her scalp. The right hand he placed palm down high on her chest over her wildly beating heart.

'What are you _doing_?' Lois moaned, truly terrified now.

'A gift before I go. If you're so determined to stick around for this war, I want you ready for it; I'm going to show you what you already know, but are too damn stubborn to admit. Now, if it works,' he cautioned, 'you won't actually be able to use it to help yourself, but it will mean you won't have to spend so much time on your mediwizard studies. That time that can be spent working on your Defence Against the Dark Arts skills, and that's what I want you to do, okay? And anyway,' he added, his previous stern expression relaxing briefly, 'if you're going to be the last Eadon, you might as well do it properly.'

'What do you mean?' she asked, staring frantically into his eyes.

'Your gift, Lois, the empathic ability you seem so determined to ignore.'

'I haven't been ignoring it,' Lois insisted. 'I've tried – there's nothing there.'

'Let's see shall we?' he said, an amused smile appearing fleetingly before he inhaled deeply, closing his eyes on the release of breath.

Lois felt as if she'd suddenly been plunged underwater. The world around her became muffled and distant and the only clear sound was the pounding whoosh of her own heartbeat in her ears. Terrified, Lois struggled in vain against her unseen bonds. She heard Niall's voice, low and soothing in her head, but couldn't make out the words. Panic filled her and she struggled to draw breath, feeling as if she _was_ drowning now. She gasped frantically for air and felt her heart stutter in her chest. Was she having a heart attack?

The hand at her neck tightened and she heard another silent command: _Stop fighting! _Lois redoubled her efforts. But it was useless. Her heart continued to race out of her control; first so fast she could feel her pulses pounding through her body, then slowing to a frighteningly irregular beat, sluggish and heavy and making her breathless. A coughing fit overtook her and when it passed she was left panting and dizzy.

Slowly she felt the urge to fight drain from her. The moment she began to relax, her heart gave out two heavy thumps and then settled into a shared rhythm. The sensation of another presence filled her, and she relaxed further, almost enjoying the warm tingle that was running through her. She was being explored.

Delicate tendrils probed at her mind, and slithered down through muscles and bone, spreading and searching, pausing occasionally and then moving on. Disjointed images ran through her head, none her own. Most of them were silent, but she heard whispered words and conversations that grew stronger with every passing moment. What was clearest, though, were the emotions. Pain and loneliness uppermost, but so many others they were almost impossible to separate.

She had just begun to wonder whether she should try to untangle them, or do some exploring of her own, when the connection was abruptly severed. Niall took a clumsy backwards step, speaking the words to release her from the effects of the immobilising spell as he did. 'It's so much easier when the patient is unconscious,' he said jerkily, 'and when I'm only looking for illness or injury. You're the picture of health, by the way,' he added with a crooked smile.

Too rattled to immediately reply she gazed unblinkingly back at him. When Niall didn't seem inclined to elaborate further, Lois shook her head in an attempt to clear it and asked, 'Am I psychic?'

'No, you little fool.' he disparaged with a sharp bark of laughter.

'I felt what you were feeling just then,' she insisted, but felt more uncertain by the minute. Had the lack of oxygen caused her to imagine it all?

'Yes.' Niall appeared momentarily uncertain. 'You're more like your mother than I realised,' he finally said quietly. 'Niahm and I always had the ability to sense each other's thoughts. We could block it off, and as we grew older we rarely connected, but in moments of extreme stress or pain we would often get a flash of what the other was feeling.' Some intense emotion slid across his features, but he shrugged it away. 'I never knew if it was because of us being twins or some mutation of our ability. I suppose you just got a glimpse of that, but don't worry, you're not telepathic; it will only work with me and as it seems we are about to endure a rather lengthy separation, I don't think it's going to cause a huge problem.'

Lois felt shock shoot through her. If someone didn't arrive soon, Harry would be gone. 'So did you find it?' she asked quickly. 'My ability – was it there?'

Niall shook his head regretfully. 'It's there, but buried so deep I'm not surprised you haven't been able to access it. Something must have happened when you were young to make you repress it this strongly. Perhaps you frightened your father somehow with this part of your magic and held it in check for him?' He raised his eyebrows and Lois shrugged her shoulders helplessly. 'Well, whatever the reason, without time and help from me, neither of which are possible, I'm not sure you'll ever be able to reach it…' he trailed off, and looked unhappily into the distance.

Lois took a step towards him. His eyes returned to hers and gave her an empty smile. 'One more thing I'm sorry for.' He looked over at Harry's still figure. 'And now we _really _must go.'

'Wait!'

He carried on walking and didn't look back.

'Niall! Let me… let me at least tell him goodbye.'

'He won't know you, Lois.' But he paused and turned to face her.

'He'll remember later though, won't he?' she asked brokenly. 'He'll know then, when you…. When Voldemort…' she stopped, unable to continue.

Niall swallowed hard and looked away. 'Fine. Tell him goodbye if you must, but be quick.'

Lois sped to Harry's side and wrapped him in a hug. She sniffed back her tears as she realised how much he'd grown over the course of the year; he was now a full head taller than her. She had to reach up on tiptoe to press her lips to his cheek. Turning her head away from Niall's watchful gaze, she kissed Harry's other cheek, her lips against his ear. 'Harry, have you got your wand?' she whispered. She grabbed his hand in hers and hugged him again. 'Squeeze my hand once for yes, twice for no.' Lois could have wept with relief when she felt one squeeze.

'Lois, there's no more time,' Niall called and she let out a sob as she retraced her steps.

'Please, Niall, his glasses,' Lois begged as she reach his side. 'Don't let him go to Voldemort not even able to see.'

'It won't make any differenceLois. He has no idea–'

'Do you have them?' she asked. Her heart was in her mouth. 'Did you leave them in the castle?'

'No, they're here – they slipped off when he fell, but I have them safe.' He reached into his pocket and drew out Harry's familiar black-framed glasses.

'Thank you,' Lois said, not giving him chance to refuse she snatched them from his hand and ran back to Harry's side. She slid the glasses onto his face and moved away, doing her best to shield Harry from Niall's view as she moved towards him. She knew he would be stiff from holding himself still for so long and wanted to give him any advantage she could. It was all she could do for him now; out of the two of them, Harry was his own best hope.

Lois had barely taken a step when she felt a rush of movement behind her. She tried to duck out of the way, and instead moved too far to her right and overbalanced as she stepped on one of the loose bricks surrounding the turret wall. She staggered backwards, just managing to save herself as Harry's furious cry rang out.

'_Expelliarmus_!'

But Niall had already leapt away, the spell sailing harmlessly over his head. He had drawn his wand as he moved and it was now pointing steadily at Harry even as he dropped into a crouch. '_Stupefy_!' he bellowed.

Harry jerked back, hissing in pain as he cracked his head against solid stone. Barely pausing to catch his breath he aimed his wand again. The cramped space in the tower meant that neither opponent had much room to move, and absolutely nowhere to hide. '_Impedimenta,' _Harry shouted. He didn't stop to see if the jinx had found its mark, but instead ran around the edge of the curved wall away from Lois and towards the tower door.

Niall followed him, the two of them circling the turret floor. For an insane second, they reminded Lois of two hamsters dashing fruitlessly round an exercise wheel. In an attempt to dispel her rising hysteria, Lois scampered out of the line of fire, and clambered closer to the wall of the tower in the poorest state of repair. She bent quickly to pick her way through the loose bricks and rubble scattered there. It was a struggle to find one she could lift, but when she had it, she straightened again, hoping for an opportunity to use it to slow Niall down.

She looked up to discover the two of them skidding to a halt, Niall barely two feet in front of her. Lois hefted the stone above her head and took a quick step forward. At that instant, the tower door flew open to reveal Snape. He was breathing heavily and his hair was in wild disarray. The wind snatched at his cloak and scarf sending it billowing around him and leaving him silhouetted against the darkened stairway like an avenging angel.

Shock held Niall still for a second too long as twin shouts rang out. '_Stupefy_!'

Only one of the spells caught him a glancing blow, but it was enough. With a squeak of shock, Lois felt herself toppling helplessly backwards as Niall's frozen form collapsed onto her. The stone in her hand crashed to the ground, missing her feet by inches. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and braced herself for impact. But the expected pain from slamming into the wall never came. Instead there was tearing agony as the fallen flagpole pierced her tender flesh. Niall's downward momentum sent him veering slightly off course, but his dead weight ensured it didn't stop the progression of the twisted metal. As he finally slid sideways and off her, Lois looked dazedly down at the gruesome sight of the spiked and rusted pole protruding from her stomach.

Snape's hurried, 'LOIS, DON'T!' came a second too late. Acting on instinct that overrode all of her training, Lois wrenched herself free from the burning pain, worsening the injury as the jagged point dragged back and out through the already ruptured organs and flesh.

Lois looked over at Harry and Snape standing side-by-side, matching horrified expressions on their faces. The three of them stood frozen for what seemed like an eternity. Then, on a sudden burst of movement, Snape was running towards her, Harry hard at his heels. She felt her knees buckle and with a soft sound of surprise, gave in to gravity's siren song.

-  
Harry watched, fear sweeping through him, as Lois began to crumple. Snape arrived at her side a bare millisecond before him and reached out to slow her fall, guiding her gently to the floor and dropping swiftly to his knees beside her.

'Potter, get Madam Pomfrey. Now!' he shouted, not looking up. Harry stared blankly as Snape conjured a pillow and placed it carefully beneath her head.

The blood was everywhere. Harry had no idea the human body could hold so much. He watched in frozen fascination as it pooled out from the gaping hole in her stomach, more pumping inexorably with every beat of her heart.

Lois's eyes fluttered open vague and unfocussed. They lit with a brief flash of recognition as she saw Snape bending over her.

'Severus?' she questioned, a hitching breath overtaking her from the simple task of speaking.

'Don't talk,' he ordered in a desperately hushed tone. 'Damn it, Potter, will you _get Poppy_!' he shouted roughly behind him.

'Professor, I don't think she…' Harry began, his voice equally shaky. His vision began to blur until all he could see were indistinct blocks of colour – the black of Snape's robe, the white of Lois's hair, the awful, _growing_ patch of red. He closed his eyes quickly to block out the sight. There was no way Lois would still be alive before he could get to Madam Pomfrey and back, and, even if he could, he doubted there was anything she could do – there was just _so_ much blood. Even Snape's robes were stained with it, the vivid red somehow managing to gleam faintly against the dense black.

_Professor Quade! _Harry spun in a circle. His wand was still in his hand and the spell to revive the newly discovered mediwizard trembled on his lips. But it remained unspoken. Quade had vanished. Harry turned full circle again, his eyes darting wildly around him. Where could Quade have gone – the tower had no hiding places and he would have seen if the other man had attempted to make his way back into the castle.

With a cry of black fury, Harry raised his eyes skyward.

He could just make out Quade's figure in the distance, the broom he was riding carrying him swiftly out of their reach and Lois's aid. Now he knew what Quade had been in the process of resizing when Lois had arrived. He also knew how he had planned to make their escape. Quade might have assured Lois he hadn't planned this, but the idea must have been at least in the back of his mind if he'd been in the habit of carrying a shrunken broom around with him. Harry swore again. Why hadn't he made sure the treacherous git was properly out for the count before he'd taken his eyes off him? Why had he allowed himself to be kidnapped in the first place? If Lois should die now…

'Get Poppy, boy, or God help me I will throw you off this tower myself!' Snape snarled in a terrible voice, and Harry lurched to obey, the hatred in Snape's tone freeing him finally from his stunned torpor. He sent one last haunted look at Lois, bit down hard on his lip and sped from the tower, his heart pounding as frantically as if he had just completed his dash through the castle rather than just begun it.  
  
-  
Snape breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the tower door slamming back on its hinges. The sound of Potter's footfalls faded rapidly away. He only hoped the useless wretch wouldn't break his neck on the narrow staircase at the speed he was going. He was no use to him dead right now.

All thoughts of Potter were wiped from Snape's mind as his attention returned to Lois's poor mangled body. His knowledge of magical medicine was limited and he didn't dare risk attempting even the most basic of the spells he did know. A wrong incantation on injuries this severe could be fatal. Stopping the bleeding, or at least reducing its flow, seemed like the most important task. He attempted to rip the sleeve from his robes as a makeshift bandage, and hissed with fury when the material stubbornly resisted. He cast a swift severing spell and almost dropped his wand in shock when Lois's voice came from beside him.

'Don't… shout… at him,' she scolded, each word more difficult to form than the last.

'Lois, oh God, Lois,' Snape chanted. He folded the sleeve in half and then half again before pressing it gently down over the gaping wound. Lois let out a whispery scream, her eyes shooting open. With a jolt of horror, Snape lifted the cloth immediately back up when it only seemed to make the blood spurt quicker. He unfolded the sleeve once and replaced the slightly larger square of material back over her stomach, not daring to apply any further pressure. 'I'm sorry,' he said unevenly. He reached out a soothing hand to brush away the hair that was plastered damply to her forehead and then lent briefly forward to place a kiss where his hand had been. 'There's too much damage…I don't know…. I can't heal this, Achelois,' he whispered desperately as her eyes fluttered shut again.

Her lips tilted briefly upwards in what Snape assumed was an attempt at a smile. 'Found… something… you can't do?'

Snape made a choked noise of protest that was abruptly curtailed as Lois twisted violently in a rictus of pain. He watched, terrified, as her breathing worsened and became harsh and laboured in what seemed like the space of a second. A trickle of blood oozed from the corner of her mouth and he wiped it quickly away. But when she opened her mouth in an attempt to drawn oxygen into her starved lungs, he saw that that was stained a terrible red too.

'Hold still,' Snape said, bending closer. 'Help's on the way.' Taking him by surprise, Lois suddenly arched herself off the ground in another desperate effort to escape the clutching pain. Snape swore viciously under his breath, but the hands that reached out to carefully still her jerking movements were gentle.

'No,' he said, his voice more commanding now, but still with panic creeping along the edges. 'You mustn't move – Poppy's on the way, but until she gets here you need to keep as still as possible.'

'Tell Harry… not his fault…'

Snape reared furiously back. 'I'm not telling that good for nothing whelp anything. You can tell him yourself–'

Lois shook her head painfully, large fat tears seeping unnoticed from her eyes. 'No–' the word gurgled wetly in her throat and Snape swore savagely again.

'Be quiet!' he snarled, his lips barely moving. 'I don't want to hear it! Now, open your eyes, woman, and damn well listen to me!' Although she obeyed his command, for a guilty instant he wished she hadn't; her normally bright eyes were unfocussed and dulled by pain. He wasn't sure she even recognised him. When her lids drifted closed again, he didn't repeat his request. With rising dread, he noted that her already pale skin was slowly becoming tinged with blue, her lips the most obviously affected. He carefully lifted her nearest hand towards him. His stomach clenched at its cold clamminess; the same blueness edging her nail beds as he had seen on her lips. With a muttered imprecation, he conjured a blanket, which he wrapped tenderly around her, feeling the heat from the warming charm he'd placed upon it rising up towards him immediately.

She let out another low moan, the otherworldly sound of an animal in pain and Snape fought down the wild urge to snatch the blanket away. Was the heat making her pain worse? He thought longingly of some of the potions he had brewed under the Dark Lord's service. There were several of those he would sell his soul for right at that moment.

He lifted the blanket away from her body with a spell so that it was no longer resting on her. The moaning stopped, but his relief was short-lived when it was almost immediately replaced by a shallow panting. This new sound scared Snape more than all the others and he twisted to look frantically around, willing Poppy Pomfrey to be standing behind him.

'Severus–' His name was barely a whisper on a rasping exhalation of breath, but it was as loud to him as a gunshot. He turned instantly away from the empty door. The wind blew his hair across his eyes and for a moment he welcomed the darkness. Then he pushed it roughly aside and bent his head back to hers so she wouldn't have to strain to see him in the encroaching gloom, even though it didn't matter because her eyes were still closed. He sucked in a deep breath in an attempt to dispel the burning ache in his chest.

'Achelois, it isn't supposed to be like this,' he insisted brokenly, refusing to let her finish because he was deathly afraid of what she was trying to say. 'You can't leave me now.' He tried to wipe the bubbling blood from her mouth with the edge of his shirtsleeve, but his hand was trembling so badly he had to stop and placed it tenderly against her cheek instead. 'That's why I let you go, you idiot, so you'd be safe, so you could have a chance at the life you deserve. But if you're going to idiotically risk it for the sake of every halfwit who crosses your path, then you can bloody well stay alive and spend it with me!' His face crumpled briefly and he swiped a quick, uncaring hand across his damp eyes. 'I'm the one who's supposed to die first, not you,' he whispered against her ear. 'Please, Lois, don't do this. I need you here. I love you.'

A brief look of bittersweet sorrow flickered across her pain-ravaged features. 'For the rest…. of my life?'

Severus felt an icy twist of pain spear his insides. He lowered his face to hers, the fierceness she couldn't see in his gaze echoed plainly in his tone. 'No. For the rest of mine.'

Her lips curved in real smile then, as sweet as any he had ever seen on her face. 'Thank you…' she murmured, but he wasn't sure if he'd heard the whispered words over the growing fierceness of the wind, or just read them on her lips. 'Love you… too.' And then her eyes opened to lock with his, burning brightly with such unwavering, abiding love, he thought for a glorious instant that despite the terrible injury, she might be able to fight this, to win.

But even as the searing hope was racing through him, she let out a huge sigh, her eyelids dropping slowly closed as her face relaxed from the pain that had held it taut, and she fell utterly still.

**

* * *

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A/N Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed and, as always, I'm really sorry this chapter wasn't up quicker. I'll try to do better with the next one – it's actually already almost done. Enormous thanks are also owed to Axelle - beta-reader par excellence. (All remaining mistakes are definitely mine!) Belated thanks are also owed to Arundel whose eagle eye got me searching. The line "No, for the rest of mine", last chapter _probably_ came from a similar one in Phenomenon, but I also found a few mentions of it in an anonymous quote and song lyrics. :)

Finally, in case anyone wondered, Acushla is an Irish form of endearment from "A cuisle." Literally it means "Oh pulse/pulse of my heart" but is used metaphorically to mean, "My dear."  
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	29. Where We Start and End

Disclaimer: Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**-0- **

_Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family_.  
**_–Anthony Brandt _**

In a distant corner of his mind, Snape was aware of the clatter of footfalls on the loose stones behind him but was too lost in misery to care. Breathing, previously such a simple task, suddenly required an almost overwhelming level of concentration. Every shallow gasp of damp air he dragged into his burning lungs seemed only to occur by sheer force of will. Even thinking about it took effort and he wondered vaguely why he was bothering.

The hand that was still clutching Lois's cold one tightened, and he felt a howl of despair welling up inside him. How could this be happening; how could she be gone? If only he'd given in to the clamouring urge to seek her out two minutes earlier, if only Quade had been just two inches further to the right or Lois to the left, if only she hadn't been up here at all. He swallowed with difficulty, trying to push back the suffocating lump that was rising in his throat. Damn Roupe and her hysterics – precious time had been wasted before Flitwick and Pomfrey had been able to make sense of her panicked gibberish – and damn Potter and his endless ability to attract trouble. But mostly, damn his own black soul for letting her go so she could come to harm in the first place.

The noise came again from behind him, but this time was accompanied by a bitten-off curse. Recognising the voice, Snape tenderly lowered Lois's hand to rest against her still chest and rose smoothly to his feet. The controlled movement was in direct contrast to the sledgehammer beat of his heart.

'Quade.' Snape inclined his head in a barely perceptible gesture. 'You came back.'

'Severus,' Quade acknowledged warily. His eyes flickered cautiously between Lois and the man in front of him. Despite the fact that only Quade held his wand out ready and raised in front of him, it was clear which of the two men was the most dangerous, and equally clear that they both knew it.

Snape bared his teeth in a smile that would have made Voldemort himself think twice. 'How utterly stupid of you.' He took a lazy step forward. Quade tensed nervously, but stubbornly stood his ground. Snape cocked his head at an enquiring angle, the expression of mild interest on his face at odds with the pulse flickering frantically at his temple. 'Would you care to explain why? Who knows – if the story is good enough, it may buy you a few extra minutes.'

Quade's attention had been drawn to Lois's still figure, but his head jerked back to focus on Snape at his words. 'For her – for Lois. She's my niece –' Snape made a rough sound of disparagement and Quade ran his free hand nervously down his robe front. 'I know what it sounds like, but it's true – she's the reason I'm here. I was searching for whatever it was she had – a ring, apparently…' He shook himself impatiently. 'But I'm sure you already knew that.'

Snape was momentarily snapped out of the glorious numbness that was currently the only thing preventing him from falling apart. The white-hot rage that had swept through him at the sight of Quade had been so intense that it had temporarily seared the other, more painful, emotions from him. He tilted his head to look into eyes that were the wrong shape and in the wrong face, but the colour…

He had never spent any time staring into Quade's eyes, but now that he had, he didn't know how he hadn't seen it before. They were the exact same shade of blue as Lois's, the hair too close a match to be a coincidence either, he noted belatedly. It seemed Quade might be telling the truth. Not that it mattered.

He had a sudden crystal clear vision of a dark lidded coffin closing on Lois's blank face. He shuddered and blinked the horrific image away and was instantly assailed by an even worse one. The same coffin being lowered into the frozen ground, mourners dressed in black drifting about him, half of them secretly relieved that they hadn't known her well or long, mouthing words of sadness and regret that altered nothing. The arm hanging loosely by his side tensed, the springy wood of his wand bending close to breaking within his clenched fist. Someone would pay. Quade would pay. He felt the cocooning anger descend again and welcomed it.

'You didn't answer my question,' he said coldly and Quade grimaced.

'Didn't you hear what I said?' Quade dropped his wand to the floor between them and held his hands out, palms up. 'This isn't a trick, I swear to you; I'm back because of Lois. I-I tried to show her her powers, what she was capable of, but I think the connection must have…' He swallowed convulsively, an odd greyness to his features. 'I felt – I felt her dying, Snape, and believe me, I can't handle another memory like that one on my conscience for the next fifty years.'

'How touching,' Snape said in an emotionless voice, his eyes burning madly in his white face. 'But you're a little too late.' He raised his own wand with a hand that shook only slightly and pointed it at the other man. 'She's dead, and so will you be in a moment.'

Quade's eyes opened wide and worried. 'Wait! You're prepared to go to Azkaban without even hearing me out?' he asked, panicked.

Snape gave a harsh bark of laughter. 'You really shouldn't be worrying about where I'm going.'

'She's not dead!' Quade took a quick step forward as Snape's face hardened and he drew his wand back.

'Don't try to use her to save your own sorry neck!' Sanpe shouted, incensed, his eerie calm disappearing in an instant. His hand was shaking so badly by now, he was distantly amazed he was still able to hold the wand at all.

'I didn't have to come back!' Quade yelled, and the panic in his voice steadied Snape again – the stark terror lurking in his eyes was exactly what he needed to see. Quade was right to be scared. 'If I didn't want to help I could have just carried on flying and never looked back!'

Snape hesitated for a second before the icy control returned once more. 'You should have done; only your greed stopped you. You probably hoped you could disarm me and take Potter,' he continued, true hatred in his voice when he spoke the boy's name.

'No,' Quade said, obviously struggling to sound calm. Beads of perspiration appeared on his forehead and he wiped them clumsily away. 'I realised he was gone before I landed. I watched you holding her. I _knew_ no one else was here, I _knew _you had your wand. She isn't dead,' he insisted, nothing but sincerity in his voice now, even the fear gone. 'And I might be able to save her, but not unless you let me try right now.'

Snape wavered, and lowered his wand slightly. Desperate hope was clear in his pinched features as he twisted to look at Lois lying so pale and still on the dusty ground.

'I used a Prorogen Spell on her,' Quade hurried on, obviously sensing Snape's weakening resolve, 'that's why she seems to be…. why she looks like she does.'

Snape shot back round to face Quade. '_What?_' he demanded in a hushed voice.

The spell was so antiquated, so dangerous, and indeed so difficult, it was practically obsolete. It also edged perilously close to Dark Magic. If it wasn't for the fact that there were practically no wizards left alive capable of casting it, the Ministry probably would have added it to the banned list years ago. He felt the momentary surge of wild hope flip-flop sickeningly in his chest and then drop to his boots like a stone. 'Liar,' he said tightly and raised his wand again.

Quade shook his head desperately. 'No, no, I'm not lying! I told you, I'm Lois's uncle, a mediwizard–'

'St Mungo's is filled with mediwizards!' Snape thundered. 'We have a highly skilled one a few floors below us right now, and yet none of them have used it in the past fifty years to my knowledge!'

'I'm an Eadon! You must have heard the tales about us, everyone has, and there's probably been at least a grain of truth in even the most outlandish of them! But all that aside, my family _created_ the spell – do you honestly think I wouldn't have been taught it?'

Snape glared at him, his suspicion deepening when Quade seemed to sway on the spot. He knew the mechanics of a Prorogen Spell, but could this grey-faced wreck standing in front of him truly be capable of performing it? For the spell to work, magical energy had to be siphoned off from a willing witch or wizard in just the right amount to keep the patient balanced a hairsbreadth between life and death. Too much, and the excess magic exploded out from the veins, the resulting death far worse than any the spell had been attempting to save them from. Too little magic and the patient withered away from the inside at an accelerated rate, the release of it revealing an atrophied horror of wizened flesh and bone that was almost unrecognisable. In either case, the death of the patient would mean the death of the mediwizard casting it _and_ the magical donor; most likely the real reason the spell was so rarely attempted.

_A willing witch or wizard. _Snape closed his eyes in pained realisation. 'Liar,' he murmured again.

'What?'

'I called you a liar,' he snarled, black eyes shooting open. Snape took two furious steps forward and reached out to grab Quade's robes in a white-knuckle grip. The anger blazing through him gave him the strength to lift the bemused mediwizard off his feet. 'If you're casting the spell, where is the magic coming from?' He shook him angrily. 'Not from me, and there's no one else here–'

'Me!' Quade croaked on a strangled breath, the neckline of his robe bunched in Snape's clenched fists. Snape's grip slackened and Quade pulled quickly free, bending almost double as he sucked air into his starved lungs and rubbed at his reddened neck. 'The magic is mine.'

'Explain,' Snape demanded, no pity in his expression as he watched the other man struggle to catch his breath.

'It doesn't matter how,' Quade said hoarsely. 'The only thing that's important is that I'm the one keeping her alive, and, ironically,' he added with a quick despairing huff, 'apart from Lois herself I'm the only one who can make sure she stays that way.'

'How could Lois–'

'She couldn't, not for herself, but for others…' He made an impatient gesture. 'Lois is an Eadon; like her mother, like me. I saw the ability in her, but that's where it will stay without either of us here to teach her how to access it.' Quade's eyes suddenly lost focus. 'Probably for the best,' he murmured distractedly.

'What are you talking about, man?' Snape asked with angry impatience.

'There isn't time for this,' Quade said abruptly. A deep shudder ran through him and he pulled his cloak tighter around him. 'She was almost gone when I cast the spell and she's so weak now the connection between us is barely there. You've probably got less than a minute to decide before it's too late. It might already be too late,' he warned, the pain in his voice making Snape's decision for him.

'Try then,' Snape said, the blood pumping so heavily through him he could feel each beat of his heart. 'But if you hurt her again, you'll wish I had killed you just now.'

Quade made no attempt to respond and hurried forward, dropping to his knees by Lois's side and gently removing the blanket and the makeshift bandage Snape had applied. He swore under his breath at the extent of her injuries now in plain view. Snape, who had seen far worse sights during his years as a Death Eater without batting an eyelid, felt a cold sweat engulf him and momentary darkness dance at the edges of his vision.

'She's lost a lot of blood,' Quade said unnecessarily. 'Even if I can heal this, it's going to need replacing – and quickly. Poppy will have to sort it out, but make sure she does it immediately, okay?' he asked a grimly. 'Don't let her waste time trying to assess her.'

Snape wondered for a second why he was telling him this, but looking into the other man's eyes he suddenly knew. He had faced death too many times before not to recognise the grim spectre staring back at him now – if Quade could save Lois, it would cost him more than his freedom.

'Fine,' Snape answered, quite willing at that moment to sacrifice the world if it meant bringing Lois back. 'Do it.'

Quade let out a shaky breath and reached out a hand towards his discarded wand.

'Wait,' Snape said abruptly. 'Do you want… is there anything you'd like me to tell her,' he asked, aware that Lois would not easily forgive him if he didn't make this offer.

'Oh, I-' Quade hesitated, a hundred emotions crowding his weary features. 'Tell her – tell her… Oh, bugger it,' he said, snatching his wand from the ground. 'Just tell her I'm sorry and that my only regret that we didn't have the chance to get to know each other better. And, Snape,' he added fiercely. 'You'd damned well better look after her or I swear I'll find a way back to make you pay.'

Snape nodded, his throat too constricted to force words past it and every hope pinned on him being given the opportunity to prove himself. Quade turned away to perform a quick cleaning spell on his hands and then arranged himself more comfortably on the hard ground. 'I'm going to have to release her from the Prorogen spell before I can attempt to heal her,' he said. 'Once I do, things will move quickly; you can stay, but don't interrupt.'

Snape watched with hard-eyed intensity as Quade lifted trembling hands over Lois's still body and muttered an incantation. A growling sound of outrage escaped him as Quade's fingers penetrated the gaping hole in Lois's stomach. The action brought her out of her unnatural stillness and a hoarse scream passed her lips before she fell horrifyingly silent again. Snape reached out a furious hand towards Quade, ready to tear him bodily away when the other man spoke quickly.

'Don't touch me, don't touch her. You do and we're both dead.' He looked over his shoulder for a second at Snape who ground his teeth in impotent rage, but nodded to show he understood.

His nerve endings jangling, Snape moved around the pair on the ground until he could see both of their faces as well as the entrance to the tower; the others should be arriving any second now.

A white glow began emanating from where Quade and Lois were joined and Snape felt his fear rise another notch. Lois was silent and unmoving, but Quade was obviously struggling to match her stillness – his entire body was locked with tension and his lips were drawn back over gritted teeth. .

A sudden clattering on the stairwell distracted Snape and had him taking hurried steps towards the doorway to the tower. Dumbledore appeared first. Poppy and Potter right behind him, and McGonagall bringing up the rear. Snape swore and raised his wand to throw up an instant invisible barrier, cursing himself for not thinking to do it sooner.

'Severus, what are you doing?' Poppy demanded, a horrified expression on her face as she caught sight of Lois lying on the floor, the bright spill of red surrounding her like a crumpled silk cloak.

'For heaven's sake, Snape,' McGonagall snapped, her wand hand clutched to her breast. 'Let us through!'

Snape ignored them both and looked instead to Dumbeldore. His spell was strong enough to hold back the other three for long enough for Quade to do his work, he hoped, but he knew Dumbledore could have it down in moments. He met the headmaster's calmly questioning gaze with blazing eyes. Although he was sure now of Quade's final fate, he wasn't sure how it would come about. What he did know was that he couldn't risk any of them barrelling in and distracting him or, worse still, trying to stop him carrying out his grim task if things got unpleasant.

'What do you need, Severus,' Dumbledore asked quietly.

'Dumbledore–!' gasped McGonagall.

'Headmaster!' Poppy protested.

Snape closed his eyes on a silent murmur of thanks for the other man's trust. 'Blood,' he said, turning to focus on a visibly unhappy Madam Pomfrey. 'He said she's going to need a lot of it and quickly. You'll need to contact St Mungo's – Blood-Replenishing Potions are too unstable to be kept in my stores, but they should be able to Floo you sufficient supplies.'

He was barely aware of Dumbledore's murmured reassurances to Poppy or her hurried exit as he spun back towards Lois and Quade. He didn't know if it was wishful thinking, but he thought that Lois's chest might be rising and falling slightly. Desperate hope stuttered within him, and he stamped it ruthlessly down, fearing that he was somehow tempting fate. He switched his attention instead to Quade who certainly looked unwell now. He was breathing heavily, sweat dripping from his face, the strange, white glow now not only emanating from where his hands connected them, but also from his sunken eyes.

'I think you can lower the shield now, Severus,' the headmaster said, making no attempt to remove it himself and distracting Snape from his study of the mediwizard. Snape reluctantly moved towards the doorway and murmured the spell to remove the barrier. Only Dumbledore and Potter remained and Snape reached out to dig sharp hands into the young boy's shoulders when he immediately tried to dash towards Lois. 'Stay back, Potter,' he hissed. 'Unless you want her death on your hands.'

Harry froze, a gleam of agony flooding his features, but he did as he was told. The three approached Lois and Quade cautiously, none of them daring to speak and only the chattering of Quade's teeth breaking the silence. The mediwizard was shaking now as though in the throws of an ague, and Snape could no longer tell if Lois's movements belonged to her or Quade. His throat spasming painfully, Snape closed his eyes and prayed as he had never done before in his life.

---

Lois awoke to instant awareness, her body tensing against pain that didn't come. Or not physical pain, at least. She felt hot tears welling and was grateful for the darkness that hid them. A familiar squeak of soft-soled shoes had her lifting a trembling hand to her face to try and wipe away the evidence of her tears. 'Severus?' she asked in a croaky whisper, aware that she might not be the only occupant of the hospital wing that night.

'No, dear,' came Poppy's gentle voice. 'It's just me.'

Lois sucked in a shuddering breath and winced as a sharp stabbing pain suddenly made itself known.

'Careful,' Poppy admonished and then light lit the gloom. She bustled over when Lois began to struggle against the tight bed sheets holding her captive, and gently helped her up higher in the bed to rest against fluffy pillows. 'You're not quite up to deep breathing yet.'

'Can I have a drink of water, please?' Lois asked when Poppy just stood staring misty-eyed down at her.

'Oh, what am I thinking? Of _course _you can!' With a flick of her wand a metal water jug appeared on the bedside table, rivulets of condensation beading the outside. With another quick movement she was holding a glass of deliciously cool water to Lois's parched lips. She drank greedily until the glass was gently eased away. Lois made a murmured complaint and Poppy grimaced sympathetically. 'Not too much all at once; we can't risk overloading your stomach.'

Lois nodded and sank gratefully back down, astonished at how drained of energy she felt after attempting such a simple task. A strained silence fell and Lois raised bleak eyes to meet Poppy's troubled ones. The plump Matron was ringing her hands worriedly against her starched apron and seemed to be struggling to find words.

'Am I the only one here?' Lois asked, not quite ready yet to ease the other woman's discomfort.

Poppy nodded, but her voice was still hushed when she spoke, as though the years had ingrained a habit of quiet tones in the Infirmary that wasn't easily broken. 'Young Lewis went back to his dormitory this morning and the rest of my patients today haven't needed anything more exciting than a sore throat potion. It's amazing how healthy the students tend to be on a Saturday morning, especially when there's a Quidditch match on,' she said, the lines of strain bracketing her lips making a mockery of her attempts to appear relaxed.

'It's okay, Poppy,' Lois said. She turned her head away from Poppy's worried face and stared intently at the picture on the far wall of an elderly nun watching over a small child. 'I know he's dead.' At her softly spoken words, the nun looked up from her sleeping patient, her wrinkled face taking on a sympathetic cast. Lois bit back an unexpected flare of fierce anger. There was precious little privacy within Hogwarts walls, but at least the Hospital Wing's occupants should have the decency to let a person grieve alone. She let out a careful sigh and raised her eyes to the ceiling instead.

She felt a soft hand take possession of her own and fought against the urge to pull herself free. 'I'm sorry, Lois. I had hoped Severus…' Poppy trailed off and Lois felt another crack developing in her weakening control. She carefully shored her defences back up – she refused to consider what his absence signified.

Poppy drew her attention by squeezing her hand and in a kind voice began, 'I know this has all been a terrible shock to you, but you have to take comfort in the fact that he died saving you –'

'How is that supposed to comfort me?' Lois demanded bitterly. 'He died _because_ of me – he was the last living family I have and now he's gone just like the rest of them and it's all my fault!'

'No, Lois,' Poppy said firmly. 'The only person who can be blamed for Hugo's, I'm sorry, _Niall's _death, is Niall himself.' Lois shook her head, but Poppy refused to be silenced. 'It's true, and you know it's true,' she insisted. 'And you also know that if you hadn't been there, Harry Potter would be gone now.' Lois shook her head again, weaker this time, and Poppy sighed heavily. 'From what I understand, and that's by no means very much, your uncle had suffered greatly over the years because of the rash decisions he'd been forced into when he was younger. It was a terrible price to pay, but perhaps saving you set him free.'

Lois's dry eyes burned from trying to hold back her tears. She was almost grateful when she felt a film of moisture flood them at Poppy's words and blinked to ease the stinging pain. 'I felt him go,' she admitted on a whisper and was thankful when Poppy didn't ask her to explain that impossible statement. 'He wasn't angry or in pain, although he had been.' She gave a small shiver as she remembered that shared pain, and the dull ache in her stomach throbbed in response. 'He seemed…' she paused then, mental agony overtaking the physical. 'He seemed… _happy_. How could that be? How could he be happy, Poppy?'

'I don't know,' Poppy said sadly. 'But if I had to guess I would say it was because he was at peace with himself at last.' She bent her head to capture Lois's averted gaze with her own. 'And maybe because he knew his last action made up for a lot of his previous ones – he gave you back to us.'

Lois allowed herself to be gathered into Poppy's careful embrace. She had barely any memories of a mother's touch and she held herself stiff and unresponsive for silent seconds until she felt the final thread of her control snap and she turned her face to sob piteously against the cushioning comfort of Poppy's chest; tears of gratitude for the life that had been returned to her, tears of grief for the life that had been lost.

---

Snape swept down the Infirmary, his roving gaze taking in the empty beds. Finding them all empty, he made his way towards the private area at the back that was reserved for staff and the most embarrassing of student ailments.

The air of barely repressed panic that had been dogging him during the terrible night and half the morning slipped away with a shuddering breath of relief. He stood frozen on the spot and drank in the glorious sight of Lois's bright hair spilling out across the starched hospital pillows, her pink-tinged cheeks glowing with life. It was only when he realised he could make out the soft sound of breathing escaping her gently parted lips that it struck him he'd been holding his own breath, unable to believe till he'd seen her with his own eyes that she was truly alive.

He closed his eyes on a silent prayer of thanks and took the final steps to reach her side, but suddenly found his way blocked by the plump form of Poppy Pomfrey.

Snape reined in his skyrocketing impatience, and settled for glaring down at Poppy. He quickly attempted to rearrange his scowling features into something more pleasant when the Matron scowled right back at him. 'I see she's not awake,' he said quietly. What he really wanted to do was lift the other woman bodily out of the way, but, after the night he'd had, he was wary of incurring further retribution for his unthinking actions. His hot temper had kept him away from Lois long enough.

'No,' Poppy said brusquely, 'and neither should you be by the looks of you.'

Snape turned his head to examine his reflection in the old mirror on the wall across the room and grimaced at the haggard face that stared back at him. The large bruise darkening his jaw worsened the general air of disrepute. He lifted a hand to rub gingerly at it. His mirror image winced, and Snape turned irritably away.

Poppy tutted and raised her wand to his bruised face. With a few murmured words, Snape felt the pain ease away to be replaced by tingling warmth. 'The bruising will fade over the next few hours,' Poppy said with a critical look at the purpling skin, 'but at least you won't have to suffer the pain until then. Not that you don't deserve to.'

Snape's lips tightened. He felt suddenly like his younger self, having to suffer through lectures that were more painful than the duelling-induced injuries that had brought him to the Infirmary in the first place. 'So should I thank you, or will haranguing me be payment enough?' he asked darkly.

But Poppy wasn't listening; her attention had been drawn to his rumpled robes and she was frowning with displeasure at a tear that ran from his shoulder sleeve almost to the waist. She wrinkled her nose when she spotted the mud-caked hem. Snape tried to shake out the crease with an irritable movement, and watched with chagrin as a large chunk of dried mud fell to the ground with a thud and crumbled across the previously spotless floor. Snape bit back a curse and shed his outer robes altogether, folding them carefully so that no further debris could be dislodged.

'I suppose that's an improvement,' Poppy said, taking in his equally rumpled trousers and shirt through narrowed eyes. 'But not much of one. Honestly, Severus, go back to your chambers. Get some rest and get yourself cleaned up before you see Lois. You'll frighten the life out of her looking the way you do at the moment.'

Snape gritted his teeth, only the many years of friendship they shared preventing her from catching the full brunt of the tongue-lashing he was itching to deliver. 'I am not one of the students to be ordered away,' he said with a definite hint of warning in his tone. 'And I think we can safely assume that if my face hasn't managed to send her screaming from the sight of it so far, it is unlikely that creased clothing and a few bruises will do so now.'

'You _need_ some sleep.'

'No, what I need is lying two feet away from me.' Her face softened and Snape seized upon her weakening, his voice taking on a cajoling tone. 'Step aside Poppy, I assure you I won't disturb her.'

Poppy scowled, all hint of softness gone, although her eyes gleamed with some secret amusement. 'And if I don't? Are you going to curse me too?'

'I very well might,' Snape said silkily. Poppy puffed up like an angry hen and the two stood toe to toe, glaring at each other.

'Severus!'

Snape and Poppy sprang guiltily apart to direct their attention to the figure blinking dazedly across at them from the bed she lay in.

With two quick strides, Snape was at her side, hands reaching out to prevent her from attempting to sit up. His hungry gaze took in her sleep-flushed face, roving across her features one by one as though committing them to memory. Lois made a murmur of protest and he dragged his attention away from her lips to see wariness reflected back at him from eyes shadowed with uncertainty. With regret, he removed his hands from her shoulders and sank down into the chair that Poppy had thoughtfully placed behind his knees. He turned to offer automatic thanks, only to see her disappearing out of the room, the door closing silently behind her.

'Did I just hear you threatening Poppy?' Lois asked groggily. She grimaced at the husky sounding words and Snape, still unable to find his own voice, ignored her question and reached to pour her a glass of water instead. Lois stared unhappily at the glass he held out until Snape eventually lowered it awkwardly back to the nightstand.

'I thought you might be thirsty,' he said when she made no move to explain why she hadn't taken it. 'Or perhaps you shouldn't be drinking yet?'

'No, it's not that,' Lois croaked, sneaking a quick peep up at him from under lowered eyelashes. 'Is Poppy coming back?' she asked abruptly. Her hands began plucking fretfully at the sheet covering her from neck to toe and Snape jerked up from his chair, adrenaline pumping through him.

'Are you in pain?' he demanded, already at the door, 'Poppy!' he bellowed, panic overtaking him when all he found was an empty row of beds and no comforting presence of a mediwitch anywhere in sight.

He was in the process of weighing up the risks of leaving Lois alone to find Poppy himself against summoning a house-elf to do the job, when Lois's quick denials registered.

'No, Severus, no, I'm not in pain. Stop shouting, please – you'll have the whole school in here!'

'Well, what is it?' he snapped, sinking back into the chair beside her and his gaze intent on her tense face.

'Nothing…' Lois began, a decidedly ill-tempered edge to her voice now. She shifted uncomfortably on the bed, and Snape half rose, ready to go and track down the absent matron despite her protests.

Seeing his movement, Lois pushed the covering sheets away to reveal her pyjama-clad body and gazed up at him balefully. 'I need to go the bathroom,' she announced, staring fixedly at a point just behind his right shoulder. 'And parched though I am, water is definitely _not _a good idea at the moment.'

Snape felt a huge smile of relief spreading across his features, but had the good sense to smother it behind an impassive façade when her eyes flickered briefly to his.

'So if you could just go and get Poppy,' _And never come back, _her tone implied 'I'd appreciate it.'

'No need for that,' Snape said. He rose purposely from the chair, but then paused and stood staring down at her, a pensive frown creasing his brow. 'What would be the best way to do this?'

'I just need some help to get to the bathroom – I can take it myself from there.'

'Is it safe for you to be moved yet?'

'Yes!' Lois hissed between gritted teeth.

Snape hesitated. Should he get Poppy or should he risk–

_'Sev-er-us!_' Lois moaned, and raised beseeching arms towards him. Despite his doubts that she was being entirely truthful, there was no way Snape could resist that particular temptation. All thoughts of using magic to transport her to the bathroom sailed right out of his head, and he bent down to ease gentle arms under her legs and back.

The sweet, familiar smell of her made him almost dizzy and he fought the urge to bury his face in her neck and simply breathe her in. The stiff way she was holding herself in his arms told him she wouldn't appreciate that particular action even if she didn't have rather more pressing matters on her mind right then.

'Ready?' he asked, bending his knees to take the strain.

She made a groaning sound of protest when he lifted her, and he froze, uncertainty halting his movements.

'I'm okay,' she insisted in a worrying weak voice. Coming to a quick decision, Snape covered the few steps to the bathroom. The best course of action was surely to get her back to bed as fast as possible.

Once inside the private bathroom, he set her gently down on a padded stool and allowed himself to be ordered outside when Lois assured him the room was magically equipped to see to all her needs. Snape didn't doubt that, but he still insisted on stationing himself right outside the door despite her protests. He also secured a promise that she would call him the second she was done, although he wasn't convinced she could be trusted to keep her word on that one. He was therefore relieved when he heard her calling his name a very short while later. His relief soon turned to worry when he saw how pale and fragile she appeared after so short a time on her feet.

'Back to bed with you,' he said grimly, and scooped her limp form into his arms. Unlike the journey there, she sank bonelessly into his arms, and Snape had to fight down the reckless urge to tighten his hold. He was so busy trying to ignore his rampaging desire to keep on walking with her out of the hospital wing and out of Hogwarts forever, that he almost dropped her when a whisper soft touch suddenly brushed against his clenched jaw.

'What happened here?' Lois asked, gentle fingers tracing the outline of the fading bruise.

'Nothing,' Snape said harshly, her touch sending pinpricks of fire racing through him. He could have kicked himself when her hand dropped like a stone, and a guarded stillness appeared on her face.

'A stray punch caught me off guard,' he offered, setting her carefully back down on her bed and pulling the sheets over her. He watched worriedly as she sank wearily back against the pillows, but he was relieved to see her colour was already coming back.

He was also relieved when she seemed to accept his explanation as the olive branch it was.

'From when you and Hug– I mean when you and Niall…' she trailed off and Snape cursed his thoughtless tongue.

'No,' he said calmly into the heavy silence. 'This happened later.'

As he'd hoped, his answer roused Lois's curiosity and some of the darkness faded from her eyes. 'Later?'

Snape filled a fresh glass with water and popped a straw into it so she wouldn't have to sit up any higher than her current semi-reclining position. He held the tip of the straw out to her, unable to hide the shudder that swept through him when her lips brushed his finger. Lois smiled a small, satisfied smile and then turned her attention to drinking greedily from the cool water.

Thirst finally quenched, she pulled away with a sigh of pleasure and murmured thanks. When she was settled comfortably again, she raised questioning eyebrows. 'Are you going to finish the story or not?'

Snape scowled, not happy with the direction the conversation was taking. He had more important, and less embarrassing, things to discuss, such as finding out if she could ever forgive him.

Obviously it wasn't going to be that easy. Nothing worth having was ever easy, he reminded himself, and silently cursed whichever imbecile on high had decided that was how the world should work. Banking down his frustration, he settled back in the hard chair with the air of a man who was relaxed and totally at ease with the situation he found himself in.

'I understand from Dumbledore that you're aware of everything that happened yesterday up until the point you were healed?'

Lois nodded jerkily and Snape reached out to rub his thumb in soothing circles around her tightly clenched fist as though he had every right to. He was slightly surprised, and very pleased, when Lois didn't immediately pull her hand away. 'Well, not long after you'd been transferred down to here, the Ministry Aurors arrived expecting immediate answers. When we weren't prepared to accompany them to the Ministry of Magic to provide them, they became rather…aggressive.'

Lois made a shocked sound of protest. 'The Aurors attacked you, Severus?'

'Not precisely.'

'Where was Professor Dumbledore?' Lois demanded. 'Surely he wouldn't have – what do you mean, _not precisely_?'

_Dammit. _'It did happen rather quickly, Lois, and my main concern was remaining at your side.' Her beaming smile made his heart race in his chest and loosened his tongue. 'Looking back it's difficult to recall now who threw the first punch –'

'Oh, _Severus.'_

Snape scowled into her disappointed face. 'It was an _ex-student_, Lois! A puffed up little know-nothing trying to throw his puny weight around! One year out of Auror training and he thinks he can strut back into this school and order me around like a first-year! His questions could have easily waited until we had some news about you – in fact, most of them could have been answered by someone else altogether!'

'But, Severus, punching an _Auror…_' She shook her head, apparently too disillusioned with him to be able to continue. His hope that that might mean the end of the discussion was dashed when she rallied to say, 'I didn't even know grown wizards got into fights like that. Why weren't you cursing each other? Not that that would have been better,' she added hurriedly.

Snape's scowl grew deeper. 'Trust me, nothing would have given me greater pleasure, but Dumbledore had disarmed us by that stage after some earlier… heated words.'

Lois groaned and pulled her pillow up around her ears to cover her face. 'Were you knocked unconscious?' she lowered the pillow to ask. Snape was slightly hurt by her hopeful tone. Was she so angry with him she wished him physical harm? If she did, he couldn't in truth deny that he deserved it.

'No, I was fine,' he said, but couldn't help the stiffness of his tone.

'Oh.' Lois looked down at her hands that were busily smoothing non-existent creases out of the sheets covering her. 'I suppose it was quite a night and you needed your rest after all that,' she murmured in a small voice.

Snape gave a disparaging snort. 'Fine chance of that locked up in a Ministry cell.'

Lois suddenly lost interest in the bedspread and raised glowing eyes to his. 'They locked you up over a fight?' Despite her concerned words, her voice was decidedly gleeful and Snape felt his spirits nosedive even further. 'Couldn't Dumbledore have done anything about it?'

'Unfortunately, after I'd hexed him, not even Dumbledore at his most persuasive could convince Fudge not to press charges.'

All sign of satisfaction was wiped from Lois's expression and voice. 'You hexed the Minster of Magic?' she breathed.

'We'd just got the situation with the Aurors sorted out – and our wands returned,' he added, 'when Fudge turned up, blathering on about the importance of self-control, determined, as usual, to drag matters out unnecessarily. That man loves the sound of his voice far too much.' His features twisted into scowling lines of disgust.

Lois was trying to look disapproving, but the glow of happiness was lighting up her pale features was making it difficult. 'So that's why you weren't here when I woke up last night?'

Everything suddenly fell into place and Snape reached out a hand to capture hers. 'Achelois, believe me, if the choice had been mine I wouldn't have left your side for a second. I cursed my stupidity all night and practically sprinted from the Apparation point to the hospital wing. I didn't even stop to talk to Dumbledore – the only reason he was able to pass Poppy's report onto me before I got here was because he ran half the way here with me. I only lost him at that tricky third floor corridor.' He felt a sudden twinge of guilt. A man the headmaster's age really shouldn't have been expected to finish a chase through the grounds by tackling three flights of stairs two at a time.

Lois raised damp blue eyes to his and he forgot all about Dumbledore. 'When I woke up and you weren't here, I thought I'd dreamed the things you said last night–'

'I meant every word,' Snape said solemnly. 'And I'm sorry I ever let you believe I didn't. God, Lois, if I'd lost you…' He ground to a shuddering halt, not trusting himself to say more. With a muffled curse, he buried his head in the hollow of her neck and wrapped careful arms around her.

Lois gently extracted herself from his hold. 'But why would you have said all those things that day in your room if you didn't mean them, Severus? If y-you just feel guilty now about taking back what you said when you thought I was dying… I… I won't hold you to–'

'NO!'

Lois jerked slightly in surprise, and then winced, a hand reaching down to press against her stomach.

'Careful!' Snape barked. Lois raised her eyebrows in an offended gesture and Snape grimaced. 'I mean, I apologise for startling you, but please could you try and be more… careful.'

'Will do,' Lois said in a slightly breathless tone.

Snape looked worriedly down at her through hooded eyes. 'Perhaps I should call for Poppy.'

'No,' Lois said quickly. 'I'm fine – it was just a twinge. Go ahead with what you were saying.'

Snape sighed and sank back in his chair, his fingers reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. 'I wasn't being honest with you that day in my rooms,' he began abruptly 'But your safety was more important than what either of us wanted.'

'My safety?'

'I was reminded, ' Snape said, battling against the urge to blame Moody for all that had happened, 'that I was putting you at risk simply by being with you.'

'That's why you sent me away?' she murmured. 'I hoped, but…' Her questioning tone gave way to anger. 'Severus, I _asked_ you if it had anything to do with you being a spy! Why didn't you talk to me, find out whether I was willing to take that risk?'

'Because I wasn't!'

Lois aimed a weak punch at his arm resting on the bed beside her. 'It wasn't your decision to make! It was _ours._' She blinked rapidly and Snape felt his chest tighten when tears welled in her eyes. 'You should have told me the truth,' she said in a near whisper.

He was surprised when a gruff bark of laughter escaped him. 'Because you would have accepted that so much easier?' he asked with a sardonic tilt to his eyebrow.

Lois sniffed, and dashed her tears away. 'Maybe not,' she admitted grudgingly. She sniffed again and reached out a hand to rub absently at the spot on his arm where she'd hit him. 'You don't feel that way any more?' she asked hopefully.

'Lois, I can hardly try and deny now that I love you, but it doesn't alter the fact that you deserve better.' She shook her head angrily, but Snape reached out to still the movement, grasping her chin in gentle fingers. 'More importantly I couldn't bear what he would do to you if he found out I was a spy.'

'You can't push me away because of that! I'm well aware of the danger, Severus; I wouldn't take any foolish risks and, anyway, as yesterday very convincingly proved, not being with you is no guarantee of my safety.'

'What about Voldemort?' he said, driven, one half of him screaming to be quiet and simply accept the miracle he'd been granted, his other, more pessimistic side refusing to be silenced until he'd pointed out every last problem and given her the opportunity to escape. 'I can't promise you forever, Lois, what would you do if you lost another husband?'

'W-was that a marriage proposal?' she asked shakily.

'No. Yes. I don't know,' he growled in frustration. 'Answer the question, Achelois, what would you do? I don't want to cause you any more pain.'

'Severus, ' she said, struggling to sit up slightly higher in the bed and pushing his hands away when he tried to prevent her. 'I've lost everyone I've ever loved – to disease, to madmen who want to take over the world, to pure damn bad luck and do you know what that's taught me?'

Snape shook his head silently no.

'Nothing.'

He looked at her blankly.

'Because there's no lesson to _be_ learnt, Severus, no miracle cure to avoid heartache. Life is about loving people and ultimately either losing them or them losing you. None of us live forever and whatever pain I've experienced when they died, I wouldn't swap it if it meant losing a second of the time they were in my life. I loved David and losing him nearly killed me.' Snape flinched slightly at that and Lois carefully leaned forward to cup his face in tender hands. 'But losing you when you aren't even gone would be the end of me.'

'But I don't deserve –'

'Most people don't get what they deserve in life,' she interrupted, dropping her hands to capture his. 'They just get what they get and you, Severus – you got me.' She looked up at him with a sad little smile. 'Aren't you happy?'

'Yes,' he said. 'God, yes. But that still doesn't alter the fact that I don't deserve you. I don't deserve to be happy –'

'What about me?' Lois snapped, suddenly furious. 'What about what _I _deserve? I happen to love you – quite an astonishing amount actually – and after all the rotten luck I've had so far, I think it's about time I got a break, and if that means dragging your undeserving hide along with me to the good life, then so be it!' she shouted, her eyes flashing fire. Even given the seriousness of the situation, Snape couldn't stop the slight smile that crossed his features, touched by the depth of her love for him. His flash of humour was instantly quashed when Lois sucked in a pained breath and flopped back against the pillows, her burst of energy obviously draining her.

He sighed, not even asking if he should alert Poppy, and instead settled her more comfortably in the bed and pulled the sheets that had slid free securely back around her.

'There's nothing I can say that will change your mind, is there?' he asked, leaning over the bed so that she wouldn't have to strain to see him.

'No.' Lois shook her head against the pillows, her lips pursed so tight McGonagall would have been impressed. 'So stop wasting both of our time and accept that we're stuck with each other.' She didn't sound exactly thrilled by the thought.

'Very well,' Snape said, and got out of the chair to go down on one knee beside the high bed, realising with chagrin that he could no longer see her from his new position.

'Severus?' Lois's confused voice came from above him. There was a rustle of sheets and he reached up to still her with his hand. 'Severus, what are you doing?'

'What do you think I'm doing,' he muttered grumpily, suddenly deeply regretting the romantic impulse – the first and probably the last one of his life – that had brought him here.

'Are you _proposing_?' she asked, disbelief evident now.

'Yes,' he bit out. This was closely followed by a string of curses as he realised he didn't have the engagement ring on him. He pulled out his wand and Summoned the ring box from his chambers, waiting with stomach-churning nervousness for it to arrive. Knowing his luck, Peeves would intercept it in mid-flight and flush it down a toilet somewhere.

He heaved a huge sigh of relief when it came zooming through the half open doorway and halted inches from of his face. Snatching the box out of the air, he snapped open the catch to reveal the emerald engagement ring nestled within.

'You know,' Lois said thoughtfully, 'I think this might be a _smidge _more romantic if I could actually see you.' Her mock grumble was met with silence when Snape found his tongue had attached itself firmly to the roof of his mouth. 'Umm, Severus, you are still down there aren't you?'

The worry in her tone released him from his frozen silence. Surely she wouldn't have sounded that anxious if she were about to turn him down. He hoped. 'Shut up,' he commanded. 'And allow me play the romantic hero for once. I would think you would appreciate how rarely this is going to happen and have the good sense to keep quiet until the mood passes.'

When she didn't respond, Snape carefully craned his head and saw a huge grin spreading across Lois's face. He sank back down with a silent sigh of relief. Seconds later her left hand dropped over the edge of the bed towards him and he immediately grasped it in a slightly damp grip.

'Hey, I'm not complaining,' Lois assured him. He would have been able to hear the smile in her voice even if he hadn't just seen it for himself. 'And I'm certainly not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, I just thought it might be more of a tale to tell our grandchildren if I had a picture to go along with the sound.'

'Very well,' he huffed and muttered an incantation.

Lois erupted into a fit of giggles at the sight of Hogwarts stern Potions Master, balanced precariously on one knee, appearing inch by inch in midair in front of her.

'I cannot do this if you are going to laugh,' he grumbled, reaching out to hurriedly grab the side of the bed as he wavered dangerously. Lois's giggles turned to a squeak of alarm as he turned his wand towards her. He smiled when her eyes widened with relief as both he and the bed dropped smoothly several inches until Snape was back on solid ground and their heads were almost level.

'Better,' Snape said in highly satisfied tones. He returned his wand to his pocket, and reached out to pull her hand back into his, staring intently into her bright blue eyes. 'Achelois Scott, will you marry me?'

Unexpectedly her lower lip trembled and tears gleamed like diamonds in her eyes. _Not quite the response he'd been hoping for_. 'Yes,' she whispered. _Actually, exactly the response he'd been hoping for._

He slid the ring onto her finger before she could change her mind, and lifted her hand to kiss the spot where it rested and then moved to place a soft kiss on her lips. When the kiss rapidly spiralled out of control and he felt her arms lifting to twine tightly around his neck, he carefully pulled away and settled her arms safely back by her sides. Lois reached out to tug at his hair in retribution, a dazzling smile on her face. She playfully tightened her grip, and the ring caught in the sunlight streaming in from the window, causing the emeralds to blaze.

'Oh, Severus,' Lois said, momentarily distracted from her attempt to pull him back down to her. 'It's beautiful!'

'It belonged to my grandmother, but if you'd prefer something new…'

'No, no, this is perfect.' She hesitated, a faint frown creasing her brow. 'You loved her? Your grandmother I mean?'

He nodded. 'I did.'

'Then it is perfect.' Lois held her hand up and beamed happily. 'I can't wait to tell–

' She came to an abrupt halt, a horror-struck expression appearing on her face. 'Oh, God, Harry! And Elena! How could I have forgot!'

Snape shook his head, confused. 'Forgot what?'

'To ask about them! All I could think about was Niall –' She broke off again, fresh tears welling.

'Ahh!' Snape sighed and reached out to run a soothing hand across her stiffly held shoulders. 'I assumed from my conversation with Dumbledore you knew all of this, Lois –'

'I never even thought to ask Poppy!'

'Perfectly understandable,' he said firmly. He knew that they would have to talk about Quade – _Niall_ he amended mentally – at some point, but he was keen to delay that discussion. Lois was too fragile, physically and emotionally right now to deal with it, and selfishly he didn't want her future memories of this day to be completely overshadowed by sadness.

'To put your mind at rest, Potter has more lives than a cat and is, as ever, perfectly fine,' he said, his lips twisted derisively. 'Roupe's injury was slightly more serious, but she too is now completely healed, and presumably resting comfortably in her rooms as we speak.'

'Thank goodness,' Lois said shakily.

'Although if the headmaster has an ounce of sense he'll have her committed to St Mungo's instead of allowing her to continue to teach at this school,' he added, his tone arctic.

'Severus!'

'Lois, that lunatic woman was the reason it took me so long to get to you!' Snape lurched to his feet and began to pace around the small room. Arriving at the opposite wall, he spun back round and paused when he spotted Lois, reaching for his wand to resize the bed to its normal proportions. He shouldn't have brought this up, he thought frustratedly, because there was no way now Lois would let it rest without a full explanation.

'What do you mean?' she asked as if on cue. Snape sighed heavily when she began to fidget uncomfortably and sat back down in the chair beside her. With gentle hands he reached out to assist her to sit up in the bed before he continued.

'I was in the Infirmary looking for you after you hadn't made an appearance at the Quidditch match –'

'You were looking for me?' Lois interrupted, a curious light in her eyes. 'Why?'

'Because I'd realised I couldn't let you go and, having accepted defeat, I planned to beg your forgiveness and ask you to marry me.'

Lois sucked in a shocked breath and then let out a small moan of pain as her stomach protested. Snape swore and reached out to steady her, but she slapped his hands impatiently away. 'You were going to ask me to marry you? Before I was hurt?'

'Lois, which story would you like me to finish?'

'Elena,' Lois said grumpily, her lower lip protruding in far too enticing a manner for Snape to resist. When he lifted his head, her good humour seemed restored, although it took Snape a few seconds to drag his control back into place.

'As I was saying,' he began gruffly, 'I had just arrived at the Infirmary when Flitwick came rushing in, Roupe floating behind him on a stretcher, and saying Filch had found her unconscious on the seventh floor. Poppy brought her around at which point she became hysterical, shouting nonsense about you and Potter and demanding to be taken to her room. It took us ten minutes to calm her down and another ten to get any sense out of her, and only then after she had been transported to her chambers.'

Lois looked at him amazed, clearly unable to imagine the unflappable Elena Roupe in a panic.

Snape nodded in agreement. 'A most unexpected sight; it seems that our impressive Defence Against the Dark Arts professor is perfectly happy to face Voldemort's finest, but show her a hospital or expose her to even the mention of illness and she becomes a jibbering wreck.'

'_That's _why she wouldn't ever come into the Infirmary?' Lois breathed. 'And why she was acting so oddly when I found her. I suppose it explains why she wouldn't even let me give her any Pepperup Potion when she had the flu. I thought it was because she didn't trust me and all this time she was more frightened of me than I was of her,' she said in awe. 'Like a spider – although I have just as much trouble believing that's true either.' She pulled a face and then murmured, 'Poor Elena.'

Snape rolled his eyes, holding his tongue with great difficulty. A small smile crossed Lois's lips and she reached over to grasp his hand. 'The important thing is they're both okay.'

'No,' Snape said, suddenly having difficulty in keeping his voice even. 'The important thing is that you're okay.'

Lois's smile widened and she used her grip on his hand to tug him closer. 'As if I'd ever go and leave you,' she said softly, and Snape shuddered between lingering kisses, hating even the thought of it. The kiss was only broken when Lois tilted her head on a sudden thought and dislodged her lips from his.

'Severus, how do wizards get married?'

'However they want,' he said with a shrug, not particularly interested in the technicalities right then. He ducked his head back to capture her lips again and then hesitated. Lois made a questioning noise of protest when he drew back. 'Why?' he asked, suddenly cautious. 'Do you want a big wedding?'

'No, I don't think so,' she said thoughtfully, before brightening as an idea struck. 'Oh, we could go to Gretna Green and get married over the anvil!'

'What?'

'Gretna Green; it's where underage Muggles used to elope to get married by the blacksmith. The law has changed now so that doesn't happen anymore, but you can still get married there….'

'Yes, I'm well aware of the history of the place, what I meant was that neither of us is exactly underage.'

'Well you certainly aren't, you cradle snatcher you.'

'Ten years, Achelois – hardly cradle snatching.'

'Keep telling yourself that, old man,' Lois teased, before continuing. 'I just thought it would be romantic and we _are_ in Scotland…'

'I'm Welsh.'

'So? I'm English – but when in Rome. And even better,' she coaxed, 'we can just sneak off and do it, which means you won't have to go through all the fuss of a big church wedding.'

'That's true,' he agreed, more interested now. 'We wouldn't even have to tell anyone until after we'd done it either.' He realised with satisfaction. No one would be able to talk her out of it until it was too late to do anything about it.

'No we have to tell everyone!' Lois yelped, scandalised. 'Otherwise how will we get presents?'

'You mercenary baggage!'

'Hey! There have to be _some_ compensations for marrying you!'

'Right then, we're agreed,' he said, refusing to rise to her bait. 'I'll get the paperwork in order. I'll need to arrange for some Muggle documents for me and as soon as you're fit enough, we'll travel down on the weekend and be back for school on Monday.'

'You don't let the grass grow under your feet once you've decided do you?' Lois said, looking vaguely shell-shocked. 'Why don't we wait till the Easter holidays? That way we can have a honeymoon as well?'

'No, no,' he said firmly. 'I don't want to delay – we'll get married first and have the honeymoon later. Will that be okay?' he finally thought to ask.

'It doesn't sound as though I've got much choice in the matter does it?' Lois groused good-naturedly. 'Are you really Welsh, Severus?' she suddenly asked curiously. 'You don't sound it.'

'The Snapes would never be so uncouth as to have an _accent,' _he said, looking down his nose at her with mock hauteur. 'In any event I was only born there; I was sent to boarding school from the age of five.'

'What!' Lois squawked. 'Five? That's barbaric! We're not sending our children to a boarding school without us, I hope you know,' she said sternly, daring him to disagree.

Snape inwardly blanched, but with effort managed to keep his face totally expressionless. _Children. How could he have forgotten? _Dear Lord, nothing was simple with her. Soon he would have not only Lois, but also babies to worry over and protect; he couldn't deny the small surge of pleasure underneath the fear that thought caused. 'Of course not,' he said mildly.

Lois gave a satisfied nod, but then paused a searching expression on her face. 'You're being very obliging,' she said, her eyes narrowed suspiciously

'That is because you are recovering from a life threatening injury.'

'And when I'm better…?'

'I will not be so obliging.'

'Better get my money's worth while I can then,' Lois murmured, taking a deep, fortifying breath and then letting out a low groan of pain.

'Damn it, woman!' he said sharply. 'Be more careful before I am forced to make Poppy drug you unconscious and only bring you round once you're healed.'

Lois waved away his concern, but her eyes were beginning to look shadowed with tiredness. 'I'm fine,' she insisted. 'But since all of this happened, I've been thinking about what Niall did, about how he was able to heal me.'

Snape felt a niggling sense of unease begin to unfurl in his stomach and sat back in his chair, his arms folded across his chest and his eyebrows drawn together in a forbidding frown. Lois cleared her throat and began to play with the neckline of her pyjamas. 'Most of the time I didn't know what was happening, but every now and again I saw flashes of something... Severus, if I tried harder, learned more about my family's gift, maybe I'd be capable of –'

'No.' The word was bitten off and Lois stared at him helplessly.

'No what?'

'No, you are not to experiment any further with your abilities.'

'Hey! You don't have the right to tell me–'

'Do I not?' Snape interrupted coldly. He sighed when Lois's lips set in mutinous lines. 'Very well, I accept that I am being unreasonable,' Snape began more softly and Lois's tense features relaxed correspondingly. 'And that it is your right, possibly even your duty to explore the ability your family appears to have –'

'Yes –' Lois began eagerly and Snape held up a quelling hand.

'Nevertheless, I am going to be unreasonable, I am going to be selfish, I am going to be very unfair and ask that you leave this alone.'

Lois opened her mouth to speak, but seemed unsure how to proceed.

Snape sighed tiredly and gave in to the urge that had been plaguing him since his arrival in the Infirmary. He bent down to pull off his boots, and then took out his wand and muttered a spell to enlarge the small bed Lois lay in. He had the fleeting thought that the poor old cot might never be quite the same again after its transformations today. The thought was swiftly followed by the cheering image of some malingering Gryffindor student being tipped to the floor by the magically altered bed at some future point. He'd have to look into that.

He stood up, carefully lifted the bed sheets surrounding Lois, and eased his aching body down next to her. The painful tension the long night had wrought began to leech out of him when he stretched his weary legs out, and felt Lois snuggle instinctively against his side. He conjured a pillow and set it behind his back, then pulled the covers over both of them before finally turning to meet her troubled stare.

'Lois,' he began heavily, 'life is full of mysteries and missed opportunities and paths not taken. Could this not be one of yours?'

'But, Severus, if I could learn how do it –'

'No! If you learnt how to do it I couldn't trust you not to risk your own life every time you came across someone in need. And you would, Lois; your tender heart would make it an urge almost impossible to resist.'

She shook her head unhappily, but not in outright rejection, and Snape moved closer, his gaze intent on hers. 'I don't want you to have to be constantly making that choice. Or to have to live with the guilt of not making it.'

Lois raised a hand to rub at her forehead in a weary gesture. 'You're right,' she said finally, and Snape felt the last of the terrible tension drain out of him. She sighed and sank deeper into the pillows. 'It wouldn't be fair to you or our family,' Snape fought to keep the panic from his face at how matter of factly she used the word, 'but more truthfully I doubt it's something I could even do without my mother or Niall here to teach me. I just felt that with the war coming I should do everything I can to help.'

'And you will,' Snape said bracingly. 'You'll do what you do best and heal the sick, just not in the same way as your family.'

Lois nodded, and he watched with soft indulgence as her lids drifted closed. She opened them slowly and her eyes glowed up at him. 'What I do second best,' she said with sleepy bravado. Snape's left eyebrow lifted in a questioning gesture, and was almost immediately joined by his right eyebrow as they both shot skyward.

'Miss Scott!' He reached down under the sheets to capture her exploring hands. 'Remember where we are and what you are recovering from!'

Lois laughed softly and pulled her hand free from his loving hold to run it caressingly over his chest. Her fingers ran in slow circles and came to rest over his thundering heart. She smiled and lowered her head to rest against his chest in contented silence. When she spoke again, her voice was muffled by his shirt and slightly slurred by tiredness. 'While we're extracting promises, I've got one of my own. No more spying, Severus.' She opened her eyes with great difficulty, and directed a stern glare up at him. The effect was spoiled somewhat by the huge yawn that overtook her.

He nodded. In truth he had already come to the same decision; he couldn't remove the risk to her totally, but reducing his direct contact with Voldemort would be a start. 'I will still be working to defeat him in other ways,' he warned, having no intention of sitting the war out altogether.

'I know,' Lois said with two very slow nods. 'But just remember you have to discuss _everything _with me before you make any decisions that affect us both.'

Snape hid his smile behind a haughty tilt of his nose. 'As do you.'

'Ah, well in that case, all this talk of family has got me thinking about Harry.' Snape froze. 'I don't want him going back to the Dursleys over the summer holidays.'

'As you are aware, Lois,' Snape began as cautiously as a student approaching one of Hagrid's creatures at feeding time, 'there are very good reasons why Potter must spend time with his family, which are completely outside of our control.'

Lois shook her head stubbornly. 'There must be ways of making it safe for him to stay with the Weasleys, but if that puts them at too much risk, with us.'

'Are you insane?' Snape growled, his eyes looking slightly wild in his horror. 'I am not having Potter in my house!'

'Our house you mean – _my worldly goods I thee endow _ring any bells, Severus? And, anyway, even it if was just yours, which it isn't, aren't I allowed guests?'

'Of course,' he said with sweeping generosity. 'Just not him. Or his godfather. Or any of his or his godfather's friends.'

'Well, you're a smart man,' Lois mumbled around another jaw cracking yawn. 'You've got a few months yet to come up with a better plan and if not…' she trailed off warningly.

'You're going to lead me a merry dance aren't you?' Snape asked with a sigh, already resigned to his orderly, solitary and pleasantly predictable life being gone forever.

'Yeah, I am,' Lois admitted with a tinge of apology, snuggling closer to him in consolation. 'It'll be much easier on you if you don't fight it though – just give in and ride it out,' she advised sleepily.

'You silly fool,' he murmured. He let out a deep, contented sigh when her breathing slowed and deepened as sleep overtook her and she lay more heavily against him. 'Why on earth would I fight it?' he asked softly, dropping a gentle kiss on forehead and joining her moments later in sleep.

* * *

.**  
A/N** Okay, folks, that's pretty much it, but hopefully in the next few days I'll have the epilogue up for a quick peep into how life's treating them down the line, and then we're _really_ done – Hoo-bloody-rah! 

I'm really sorry for how long it's taken me to post – RL has been a bit mad for me this year, but to everyone who's sent encouraging emails and reviews over the months, thank you so much. I honestly doubt I'd have finished it without all the wonderfully kind encouragement. :) Btw, if it's any consolation, my punishment for being so slow has arrived in the form of the hit counters that appeared in the recent upgrade. Being able to see the hit to review ratio when posting new stories (I've got a separate account for other fandom fics) is brutal. Thank God it didn't exist on the free accounts when I started the story! ;)

Finally, a million, billion thanks to the lovely Axelle who not only regularly pushed and prodded to get the story finished, but then also went the extra mile and beta read the end result.


	30. Epilogue: Late Fragment

Disclaimer: Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

**Beloved on this Earth**

**-0- **

**Late Fragment**

And did you get what  
you wanted from this life, even so?  
I did.  
And what did you want?  
To call myself beloved, to feel myself  
beloved on the earth  
**–Raymond Carver**

.  
Snape crept silently into the darkened room, his years of lurking in the shadows avoiding prying eyes allowing him to carry out his task almost without sound.

His eyes slowly adjusted to the gloomy interior after the brightness of the lantern filled hallway outside, but not quickly enough. He was aware of a slight movement out of the corner of his eye, a mere millisecond before a solid mass crashed into him at speed, only his lightening quick reflexes saving him from sprawling to the ground. He made a huffing sound of surprise and bent quickly to grab the offending attacker.

With a swift tug he had the tiny body hoisted to eye level and said with a mock growl, 'And what do you think you are doing out of bed, young man?'

The raven-haired toddler gave a delighted giggle reaching out an arm to pat his father's face lovingly. ''Lo, Daddy,' he chortled, bending forward to place a sticky kiss where his hand had been seconds before.

'Don't think you can bribe your way out of this with kisses,' Snape said sternly, but the child knew his father's gruff demeanour well enough not to be fooled by his tone and only giggled harder.

'William Niall Snape, get back to bed this instant!'

At the sound of her voice, Severus looked up to see his wife hurry into the room, pulling her wand to light the lamps with a flick of her wrist as she did. Her golden hair was escaping from the long plaits on either side of her head and she had a tired expression on her face, which instantly turned to one of pleasure at the sight of her husband holding their son in his arms. He felt his heart immediately speed up in his chest. Even bare of make up and with a smudge of what looked like jam on her cheek, he had never seen anyone more beautiful in his life.

'When did you get back? I thought you wouldn't be here till tomorrow?' Lois asked, moving to his side and reaching up for a kiss. He transferred the still giggling toddler to his left side, and with his free arm hugged his wife's small form to him for a more pleasurable greeting.

'Couldn't sleep,' he said simply when he finally pulled away. This was the first time since their marriage that they had spent the night apart – he had even slept on an adjoining bed in the Infirmary the night she had given birth. After so many years of sleeping alone prior to their meeting, he had been slightly surprised to discover that he simply could not sleep without her beside him now.

'Me either,' she said softly, snuggling into his embrace.

'And what has my son and heir been up to in my absence?' he asked, jostling the wriggling body into a more comfortable position and dropping a kiss on top of his silky soft hair.

'Not going to bed when he's supposed to, that's for sure,' Lois grumbled, but her tone was as loving as her touch when she reached over to tickle her son's tummy. 'He found my wand and somehow managed to open the cabinet I'd locked the Chocolate Frogs in Harry brought when he visited last week. He's in the middle of a sugar high,' she said with a tired sigh.

That explained the sticky kisses, Snape realised, not even flinching at the mention of Potter's name. His attitude to the boy – man now – had undergone something of a sea change over the years. Despite his very best efforts, he was simply too happy and contented to hang on to most of his former bitterness or grudges. While the last few years had been in no way easy with the war against Voldemort raging, they had at least always been filled with love. Now that Voldemort had been defeated, courtesy of Potter the Wonder Boy (_maybe there was the tiniest amount of residual annoyance),_ life was nigh on perfect.

'Mummy?' came a questioning cry from the hallway behind them. Lois sighed, straightening from her position of slumped contentment against him.

'Where there's one there's always the other,' she said with weary amusement at the sound of William's eighteen-month old twin sister, Niahm, calling more loudly now for her mother from the bedroom.

'I'll go,' Severus said, guiding his wife across the room.

'But you've only just got back,' Lois murmured guiltily

'All the more reason.' Balancing William with familiar ease, Snape used his free hand to push Lois firmly down onto the large sofa that sat in the middle of their cosy sitting room. 'In any case,' he continued, his dark eyes gleaming with passion. 'I want you well rested – once the children are asleep I believe you owe me a proper welcome home without interruptions.'

Daddy!' Niahm beamed, her pudgy arms lifting towards him the second he opened the bedroom door. 'Where 'bin?' she demanded with the imperiousness only a child could make sound charming. He set William down, who immediately headed for the brightly painted bookcase across the room. Flopping to the floor he began happily sorting through the miniature library to choose what Snape knew would be their second bedtime story of the evening.

By now Niahm was balanced on her knees, bouncing up and down excitedly as she waited for her father to reach her. A story was definitely a good idea – neither of his children were looking particularly ready for sleep right then.

Snape sank down onto the edge of the small bed, half lifting and half catching Niahm as she leapt into his lap. She curled herself against him and immediately reached to pull out the pocket watch that had fascinated her since she'd been old enough to focus on the gleaming old gold. It had long since been protected against damage caused by exploring fingers and the sogginess of teething woes, but Snape still flinched when the first thing she did was drop it to the floor with a thud.

Niahm raised rounded eyes to his, her hands held out in front of her in the universal gesture of 'where's it gone?' Snape gave a huff of laughter and bent to kiss her, _thankfully_, button nose. When he scooped the watch up off the floor, he handed it back without too much regret.

'I've been on a fact finding mission to another magical school across the sea,' he finally replied, answering her question as he always did as though both children were capable of understanding every word. He had no intention of raising children as imbecilic as the ones he had to teach every day. 'The school itself had some interesting teaching methods, but the students still somehow managed to be just as useless as the ones here. In fact, the only redeeming quality was that the majority of them couldn't speak English.' He paused thoughtfully. 'And that there was no Gryffindor House, of course,'

Niahm looked up from her attempts to prise open the back of the case. 'Bad Grif'dors!' she declared, her tiny nose scrunching in disapproval.

'Now, Niahm,' Severus scolded gently, shooting a quick look behind him to make sure Lois wasn't within hearing range. 'Don't let your mother hear you say that,' he said without much hope. He really needed to keep his voice down around the pair of them. Apparently even his muttered comments while marking homework weren't quiet enough to escape the Snape household's littlest ears.

'This one!' William announced. He dropped a book onto his sister's bed and scrambled up after it, settling himself comfortably and watching his father with happily expectant eyes.

A tender expression appeared on Snape's face – one that only Lois and his children ever saw – and promptly mutated into lip curling disgust as he spotted the dog-eared book's title: _Harry Potter and the Flobberworm Fandango_.

Niahm clapped her hands together delightedly. 'Unc'l Harry!' she said, dropping the watch again, untroubled this time by its loss.

Snape gingerly picked the book up between finger and thumb tip, holding it aloft as though it were some particularly unpleasant potion ingredient. The colourful cover showed two, highly unrealistic, bejewelled flobberworms in crowns twirling dizzily around a woodland glade. The only picture of Potter was a still drawing in the bottom right hand corner – he'd apparently refused point blank to be photographed for the series of children's stories his name now graced. According to Lois he'd only agreed to the books at all because the proceeds were going towards a charity for orphans of the war. Snape rolled his eyes. _Such a martyr._ He turned to the twins. 'Are you sure?' he asked, trying to keep the hint of pleading out of his tone. 'Wouldn't you rather hear the story about the space monkey race?'

Two pairs of bright blue eyes stared beseechingly up at him. Snape smiled and nodded, the torment he was about to endure almost, _almost, _worth it when the twins beamed happily back. He stood up, Niahm in his arms, and settled both her and William in their beds. When they were securely tucked in he pulled up the old overstuffed chair to the gap between them and sank down into it. Unable to delay any further, he reached with great reluctance for the offending book and began to read.

'_Harry Potter was woken from sleep one bright morn, by the toot of the King of the Flobberworm's horn_.'

Snape hid his sigh behind a rustling page turn. He loved his children dearly, but their taste in literature left a lot to be desired.

---

Snape headed back into the lounge to find his wife fast asleep on the sofa. Reining in his disappointment, he made his way silently towards her, sitting down on the low coffee table in front of the sofa to study her while she slept.

Her hair had now come completely free of the restraining plaits, surrounding her with a halo of light, and at some point she seemed to have removed the smear of jam from her cheek. She looked beautiful and incredibly peaceful, but on closer inspection he noticed deep purple shadows under her eyes and a definite tinge of pallor to her skin. Concerned, he edged forward, and swore softly as his booted foot connected with something on the floor that fell with a clanking noise. Luckily, Lois didn't stir and he bent quickly to retrieve the object, examining the jar of beetroot and an empty plate carefully before placing them on the table beside him. Straightening, he turned his attention back to her, a pensive frown on his face. As though his intense gaze had disturbed her where the noise had not, her eyelids fluttered and then opened fully to blink owlishly up at him.

'Severus? Oh, I'm sorry; I must have drifted off for a second,' Lois said through a yawn. She sat slowly up and then reached over to grasp his hands in hers, trying to pull him onto the sofa next to her. 'Are the children asleep yet?' she asked with a sleepily wicked grin, 'because if I remember correctly you were making some wild claims about a proper hello when you got in.'

'They are,' he agreed, obeying the tug of her small hands and moving to sit beside her. She sighed with contentment and snuggled against his side. 'Did you eat in our chambers tonight?' he asked, gesturing towards the plates and glasses stacked on the table in front of them.

'Yeah, I couldn't face dragging the twins up to the Great Hall on my own, and you know what they're like when they scent weakness. The house-elves brought us something here.'

'Sensible idea. Who had the beetroot?'

'Er, me, I think.'

'And what did you eat it with?'

'A fork.'

'I meant,' he said calmly, knowing full well she had known what he meant, 'what accompaniment did you have with it.'

'Um. I think… oh, yes, I remember now – a Pickled Onion Monster Munch sandwich,' she admitted, turning in his arms to lay her head on his lap and stretching out on the large sofa. She sighed happily as she found the perfect spot.

'I see.' His hand slid caressingly over her hair and onwards to begin a soothing stroking motion from shoulder to hip. 'And is there any news you have to tell me?'

'No, I don't think so. Oh, Remus asked me to remind you that he's travelling over the summer so you'll need to brew him enough Wolfsbane potion to take with him.'

'Yes, I remember.' She gave a satisfied nod against his thighs. 'Anything else?' he pressed, his arm sliding lower to rest on her stomach for a second before squeezing gently.

'No-o, I don't think so,' Lois said thoughtfully, a smile clear in her voice. 'Everything's been pretty normal really. Oh wait,' she said, rolling over so that she was now lying staring up at him, 'do you mean about me being pregnant again?' She beamed, happiness shining in her eyes.

Snape felt the matching joy rising up inside him battle with the sensation of feeling vaguely left out. 'How long have you know?' he asked, a little disappointed that she hadn't told him before he went away. Even though in fairness he knew she would have realised that the news would have resulted in him postponing his long-delayed trip yet again.

'Only yesterday,' she rushed to assure him. 'I mean, it's not like we were exactly planning this, but when I fainted in the staff room… Severus!' she squawked as he stood abruptly, the suddenness of his movement causing her head to land on the sofa cushions with a thump. She didn't have time to complain further because he was already bending to scoop her into his arms, striding towards the bedroom like a man with a mission. 'Severus, what are you doing?'

'Why was I not informed,' he demanded tightly, annoyance plain on his face, but his touch was gentle as he lowered her to their bed, piling pillows efficiently behind her. Once everything was arranged to his satisfaction, he settled her back to recline comfortably against the headboard, and sat down next to her.

'Because I only _fainted_,' Lois answered as if there hadn't been a pause in the conversation. 'I'd just got up too quickly – you know my blood pressure is low anyway and with the pregnancy and the heat lately… I'd already come round by the time I got up to Poppy–'

'Has she set up a Cushioning Charm?' he interrupted. 'If this pregnancy runs anything like the last one you'll be at risk until at least the fourth month.'

'Honestly, Severus, sometimes I feel like I've got more protection spells on me than Hogwarts!' Severus made a growling noise low in his throat, and Lois threw up her hands in defeat. 'Everything's _fine_, I promise – I'm a safe as houses, which is rather fitting seeing as that's what I'll resemble in a few months time,' she said with a small smile of remembrance.

Her enormous size by her seventh month of carrying the twins had resulted in Hogwarts temporarily being brought into the twenty first century with the installation of a lift that went from the dungeons to the Astronomy Tower, and, for that matter, anywhere else within the castle she desired to go. She'd laughingly referred to it one day in the staff room as a Wonkavator, but only Dumbledore had recognised the reference, leaving her to assume that was where he'd got the idea from in the first place.

'So the charm is already in place?' Snape asked, his lips pursed thoughtfully. 'I'd better check it myself. No disrespect to Poppy's skills as a mediwitch but her non-medical charms often leave a lot to be desired.'

'Ah, yes, well I wouldn't bother actually. I'm sure it's fine,' Lois said with a shake of her head, her evasive tone immediately gaining Snape's suspicion. He pinned her with a searching look, raising his right eyebrow when she didn't elaborate further.

'Fine!' she huffed, knowing he wouldn't give up until the question had been answered to his satisfaction, but also that the cat would be out of the bag anyway the second he checked the spell's integrity. 'Sirius did the charm, so I know it will be okay.

'Black,' Severus snarled. 'What was he doing here?'

'Visiting Remus. He was waiting in the staff room for him when it happened.'

'Why didn't you have Flitwick perform the spell instead?' Severus demanded, his brows lowered in a forbidding scowl.

'Because Sirius was there and Filius wasn't! Look can't you just give the man a break for once – there were only the two of us in the staff room at the time. If it wasn't for him who knows how long I'd have been lying there before someone found me!'

Snape paled at her words and Lois cursed herself silently. The last thing she wanted to do was worry him more. 'Look, Severus, everything's fine. Poppy's checked me out and given me a clean bill of health, so all we have to do now is sit back and enjoy the relative peace and quiet of having only two children while we can.'

'Poppy examined you thoroughly?' Snape demanded. 'You look tired,' he added, his head tilted critically.

Lois punched him on the arm. 'I don't know how I got so lucky – all these years of marriage and you're as romantic and complimentary as ever.'

Snape scowled his displeasure at her flippant response and Lois rolled her eyes. 'Severus, I look tired because I _am _tired – it's been a long weekBut there's a big difference between tired and ill.'

'Then you can spend all day tomorrow resting in bed and I will take care of the children. I'll tell Poppy not to expect you in the Infirmary.'

'I wasn't going in tomorrow anyway, but an early night will be fine.' Taking him by surprise she wriggle around to sit behind him and began working at the tense muscles she found in his shoulder. He made as if to protest, but Lois refused to release him. Within seconds his head flopped down against his chest and he let out a low groan of pleasure.

Lois paused in her movements and shifted forward to rest her cheek against his, her right arm wrapping around him to rest on the spare flesh of his waist. 'A break _would_ be nice though,' she murmured.

'A holiday?' Snape said vaguely. 'Not a bad idea. Have you anywhere in mind?'

Lois moved her head to nibble gently on his earlobe. When he shuddered heavily, she raised lips to whisper against his ear, 'Harry's invited us to spend a couple of weeks in the holidays with him and Sirius at the beach house.'

'Sounds fine–' Snape lurched upright and spun round on the bed to face Lois. She grinned hopefully up at him. 'No,' he said firmly. 'Absolutely no way.'

Lois unfolded herself from her kneeling position and settled cross-legged in front of him. 'But, Severus, the children will love it and you admitted it would do us all good to get away.'

Snape shook his head and Lois reached out to rest her hands on his upper thighs. 'And it'll probably be the last time for a while that I'll be able to laze on the beach without hoards of people trying to roll me back into the sea thinking I'm a beached whale!'

'_Firstly,_ there is no way you are wearing a bathing costume around Black, and secondly why is Potter even inviting us? He should spend his holidays with his family and allow us to do the same.'

'We _are_ a part of his family, Severus, no matter how much you grumble about it, and I most definitely _am_ wearing a swimming costume. What was your plan – me sunbathing in a woolly jumper and jeans? Forget it. Anyway, I'm sure Sirius wouldn't be interested in an old married woman like me, and, even if he was, I haven't got eyes for anyone but you,' she assured him, leaning forward to place a loving kiss on his tightly pursed lips that softened under her touch. Lois pulled away as Severus leaned further into the kiss, his arms wrapping around her to urge her closer. 'Now if Bill Weasley manages to make it that's a _whole_ different story,' she whispered teasingly, and felt her husband stiffen. He slowly pulled away to stare down at her suspiciously.

'Bill Weasley? Just exactly how many people has Potter invited on this holiday from hell, Lois?'

'Well, the Weasleys, of course; Molly's really looking forward to it apparently. And then Hermione and Hagrid, Sirius, naturally, and Remus is hoping to be able to get down for a few days at least.'

'Oh, this just gets better and better,' Severus muttered sarcastically. Lois gazed back at him unblinkingly. Snape heaved a sigh and pushed her gently back to lie on the bed and stretched out next to her on his side, his black eyes gleaming as he took in her tousled appearance.

'So are you saying we can't go?' Lois asked. 'Because obviously if that's your final decision, Severus, I suppose I'll just have to accept it,' she continued in a tragic little voice, her eyes downcast.

'What…?' Snape exclaimed, surprised clear in his tone at her unusual docility.

'Unless there's something I could do to change your mind?' Lois questioned, lifting bright blue eyes to meet his, mischief gleaming in their depths.

'It's not entirely impossible, I suppose,' Severus allowed, struggling to hide his smile. He rolled onto his back and turned his head to watch her closely from under hooded eyes.

'Well it's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.' Lois grinned down at him, and hefted herself up from the bed to drape her smaller body over his, wriggling to get comfortable.

'Achelois!' Snape gasped when she twisted enticingly against him. 'I suggest, wife, that you desist from that immediately unless you wish to be severely disappointed in a shockingly short amount of time.'

'You've never disappointed me yet,' Lois murmured, making her way down his neck with soft biting kisses.

With great difficulty, Snape held himself still under her touch. Within seconds she stopped to raise curious eyes to his. 'Haven't I?' he asked.

She caught his mood instantly and her face softened. 'Not once,' she said solemnly, and then she tilted her head reflectively. 'You've made me angry, and happy and even blessed once or twice and you've scared me to death more times than I care to remember during that whole horrible war,' she added with a sharp pinch to the tender flesh of his upper arm, 'but you've never, _ever_ disappointed me.'

The hand Snape had been edging towards his sore arm travelled up to cup her face in his hand instead. Lois turned her cheek into his touch and then looked down at him through eyes darkened by emotion. 'What about you, Severus, are you ever disappointed in our life together?'

He sat up, taking her with him, and then moved to kiss her fiercely. 'Of course not!' he said, looking slightly stunned. 'How on earth could I be?'

'You've had to make a lot of sacrifices.'

He raised questioning eyebrows. 'Such as?'

'Well, I suppose the biggest thing is that you wouldn't have stayed at Hogwarts after the war, would you? You're only here because it means we can both be around more easily for the twins and before that so that I could finish my training.'

He nodded thoughtfully. 'True enough, but it's not a matter of where I am or what I'm doing. Without you and our children,' he reached out a hand to rest it tenderly against her stomach, 'and our children still to come, my life would be grim and joyless whether I spent it here or on the other side of the world.' He lifted his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. 'This is the life I always wanted, Lois – I just didn't know it till I met you.'

Lois blinked, her eyes suspiciously shiny. Snape was relieved when the threatening tears didn't fall. Instead she sighed happily and fell against him to press her lips to his. The kiss quickly raged out of control, and it took a few moments before either of them became aware of the querulous cries echoing from down the hall.

Snape pulled away to flop backwards onto the bed, his arm falling across his face and struggling to regain his breath.

'William,' Lois murmured, her own breathing still ragged. 'Which means any minute now–'

'Mum-my!' came a second, equally high-pitched cry.

Snape sighed heavily and rolled to his feet. 'I'll go. It's my fault anyway for giving in and reading them horror stories before bed.'

Lois smiled and shook her head. 'It's okay,' she said, getting up more slowly and making her way around the bed towards him. 'We'll go together.' And, hand in hand, they headed for the door and their children waiting beyond.

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**A/N** That's it, folks – all done! To everyone who has ever reviewed the story or sent an email – thank you so much. It really and truly meant a lot to me (better than any payment!) and in all honesty is probably the only reason the story was finished at all.

Before I go I should mention that the title, and inspiration, for the story and this chapter were both taken from the poem quoted at the beginning of the chapter. (Although I did stupidly misquote it slightly when I began the story using 'this' instead of 'the' – damn my poor memory!) Raymond Carver, the American poet and short story writer, wrote the poem for his wife after being diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour aged fifty. Carver and his wife had met only ten years earlier when he'd been a divorced alcoholic unable to write. He credited her with giving him a second act on life, which, as the poem shows, was obviously a very happy, if short one.

I started the story because I liked Snape right from the first book. Because I could see things ending _very _badly for him there, I wanted to give him his second chance at a future and a family who loved him, whether he deserved it or not. So, in this little fanfiction bubble out of time at least, he gets to be beloved on the earth. May we all be as lucky.

Chary :)


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